Speaker 1: When you give yourself permission to pursue your dreams. That
Speaker 1: is the moment that your life begins. It's when you
Speaker 1: stop being a spectator and you start being the man
Speaker 1: in the arena. Hey, everyone, welcome back to On Purpose,
Speaker 1: the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to
Speaker 1: each and every one of you that come back every
Speaker 1: week to listen, learn, and grow. Now you know that
Speaker 1: I love to sit down with fascinating people with incredible stories,
Speaker 1: and especially people who share that through the written word.
Speaker 1: I'm a huge fan of books, you know. I'm always
Speaker 1: sharing my favorite books with you. And when I saw
Speaker 1: this book come out, i'd met this individual and the
Speaker 1: author probably a few months before the book was announced,
Speaker 1: and we connected at a really special roundtable, which we'll
Speaker 1: share in our interview, and I was really taken aback
Speaker 1: by his journey and as I research more about his story,
Speaker 1: I was blown away by the decisions he's made, the
Speaker 1: choices he's made. And I'm speaking about the one and
Speaker 1: only Seemu Leu who made history as the star of
Speaker 1: the first Asian fronted movie in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.
Speaker 1: And of course, if you haven't seen it, I highly
Speaker 1: highly recommend It, and which garnered him the People's Choice
Speaker 1: Award for Favorite Action Movie Star. Seemu also starred in
Speaker 1: the award winning CBC and Netflix comedy series Kim's Convenience,
Speaker 1: which won the Actra Awards for Outstanding Ensemble in twenty
Speaker 1: seventeen and Best Comedy Series at the twenty eighteen Canadian
Speaker 1: Screen Awards. It was the first Canadian television series with
Speaker 1: an all Asian lead cast. The series chronicles the day
Speaker 1: to day microdramas encountered by Korean immigrant family that runs
Speaker 1: a corner grocery store. Now seemu list of accolades now
Speaker 1: is unbelievable. Beyond all of this. He's a super cool guy,
Speaker 1: down to earth, a wonderful human being. And he does
Speaker 1: insane backflips. I've seen them in real life, not just
Speaker 1: in movies. Welcome to the show, Seema, lu Seema, thanks
Speaker 1: for being here. Man Jay, it's such a pleasure. Thank you,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for having me. And for that
Speaker 1: pretty amazing introduction. Well, you had to live it. You
Speaker 1: had to live it. So I'm pretty sure you've lived
Speaker 1: an amazing life. If the introduction is like and that's
Speaker 1: the scratching the surface. But I really mean it. Man.
Speaker 1: When we met, we met, when Hussan put together Hussan's
Speaker 1: been on the show too. Hussan Minhaj put together a
Speaker 1: YouTube round table. I believe it was to talk about
Speaker 1: the AAPI community. We had this amazing dinner together. That
Speaker 1: was the first time we'd met. You did a backflip
Speaker 1: for us in the waiting area out to us. I
Speaker 1: wanted to say that I really enjoyed connecting with you.
Speaker 1: And then, like you were saying, we were just together
Speaker 1: a week ago after the oscars. Tell me about why
Speaker 1: that roundtable was important to you at the time. I'm
Speaker 1: just intrigued, Like, because obviously there was there was such
Speaker 1: a diverse group of us. Do you remember what it
Speaker 1: was for you that that really inspired you to be there?
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, the the context of that round table
Speaker 1: and what was going on at the time, and by
Speaker 1: the way, still continues to happen to this day. Is
Speaker 1: um is just this this rise in in anti Asian
Speaker 1: anti api UM sentiment and hate that's been going around
Speaker 1: I want to say America, but it's really kind of
Speaker 1: just pervasive. It's it's been kind of everywhere in the
Speaker 1: Western world UM and over the last couple of years,
Speaker 1: you know, in the wake of COVID, there's just this
Speaker 1: there's been the sense that, you know, we are being
Speaker 1: blamed for something that is that that we have absolutely
Speaker 1: no part in, and it's partially because of you know,
Speaker 1: the color of our skin and just just who we are,
Speaker 1: and there are there are deeply rooted um you know,
Speaker 1: aspects that that I made sure I wanted to attack
Speaker 1: in that round table. You know, this idea of a
Speaker 1: model minority myth, this idea of a perpetual foreigner that
Speaker 1: you know, no matter how many generations a family could
Speaker 1: have immigrated from a country, that just because we have
Speaker 1: this face, there's a perception that we're always outsiders. And
Speaker 1: so you know, that's when when people ask me where
Speaker 1: you from, know where you're really from, and a lot
Speaker 1: of Asian Americans will know or will have been asked
Speaker 1: that question, and it's like, no, I grew up I
Speaker 1: grew up here. You know, what are you talking about.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm a Canadian citizen or an American citizen. I
Speaker 1: pay American taxes and I deserve to be treated as
Speaker 1: a citizen of the country, not scapegoaded as an other,
Speaker 1: you know, And so I think that was the spirit
Speaker 1: of of you know what we were talking about, and
Speaker 1: you know again, yeah, I was such an incredible pleasure
Speaker 1: talking to you Jam and that backflip. I have to say,
Speaker 1: I it's just for anybody who's wondering, like, why the
Speaker 1: f does this guy just go and do backflips? It
Speaker 1: was because Caitlin O'Hashi was one of the people on
Speaker 1: our round table, and so I was talking to her.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, you know I dabbled and tumbling
Speaker 1: back in the day, and she was like, oh yeah.
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I could, I could do a backflip,
Speaker 1: and she was like, okay, show, yeah, I want to.
Speaker 1: I want to support you there, Seemo and say, Seema
Speaker 1: just doesn't just go around doing backflips. It was a
Speaker 1: very specific situation. But I was more impressed because you
Speaker 1: were doing it in like dress pants and like dress shoes.
Speaker 1: It was not like you weren't like ready for it.
Speaker 1: It's not like you were prepared for it. So that's
Speaker 1: a risky maneuver. Looking back, I must have I had
Speaker 1: a lot of faith in the in the stretchiness of
Speaker 1: you did you did, and it was before the event.
Speaker 1: But Seema, today we're talking about your book We Were Dreamers,
Speaker 1: which is beautiful title, an immigrant superhero origin story, and
Speaker 1: I just want to say to everyone who's listening or
Speaker 1: watching right now, I highly recommend that you go and
Speaker 1: grab a copy of this book. When this episode is out,
Speaker 1: the book will be available, so I highly recommend you
Speaker 1: get Amazon, Bonds and Noble wherever it is there it is.
Speaker 1: Seemo has one of the early copies. I have the
Speaker 1: PDF on my phone digital, my digital version that I
Speaker 1: had for preparing for this interview. I was very lucky
Speaker 1: to have an early PDF copy, but highly recommend it
Speaker 1: We Were Dreamers that I highly recommend you go and
Speaker 1: get seem I want to start talking to you about.
Speaker 1: You know, my wife and I saw Shang Chi with
Speaker 1: a mutual friend of ours Dorothy, who I believe you
Speaker 1: know as well, and so yes, so we three went
Speaker 1: to see the movie together. We loved it, you know,
Speaker 1: huge fans of the movie. It was. It was phenomenal.
Speaker 1: But what I know is that you sent a tweet
Speaker 1: years ago, right back in twenty eighteen, where you kind
Speaker 1: of said that you wanted to play the role. Now
Speaker 1: you've talked about the tweet before. I guess what I'm
Speaker 1: fascinated about more is how did you have the confidence
Speaker 1: back in twenty eighteen or the lack of fear to
Speaker 1: put yourself out there when that's a really vulnerable space
Speaker 1: to be. Like I think today, when I'm thinking about
Speaker 1: the people that listen to us, they'd be thinking, Oh,
Speaker 1: I'd never send that out because what if I didn't
Speaker 1: get it? Or i would never go to that audition
Speaker 1: because I'm too scared, or I'm feeling a lot of
Speaker 1: anxiety around starting my own business because I'm struggling with this,
Speaker 1: this and this. So we as a society struggled to
Speaker 1: put ourselves out there. What gave you the confidence back
Speaker 1: then or the lack of confidence, whatever, What was going
Speaker 1: through your head when you send a tweet like that?
Speaker 1: The delusion? No, No, that's an incredible question, Jay. It
Speaker 1: where I was mentally in twenty eighteen, and just in
Speaker 1: general in my life, just being an actor in the
Speaker 1: industry that was working. That was the culmination of a
Speaker 1: lot of years of work on myself personally. And you know,
Speaker 1: if you've read the book, you'll know I had You know,
Speaker 1: I spent a lot of my life that being that
Speaker 1: guy that was petrified of judgment and of the opinions
Speaker 1: of others and of putting his true self out there.
Speaker 1: And where that got me was in a you know,
Speaker 1: I was I was working as an accountant, hated my job,
Speaker 1: and then you know, eventually found myself unemployed because I
Speaker 1: was I was laid off. And the moment that I
Speaker 1: started to give myself permission and of course the catalyst.
Speaker 1: I hope that the catalyst for everyone is not this
Speaker 1: rock bottom moment where you lose your job, but um,
Speaker 1: for me, that's what it was. It was this idea
Speaker 1: of like, I have nothing else to lose, so I
Speaker 1: might as well do something that makes me happy. And
Speaker 1: what you know what, incidentally that ended up being was
Speaker 1: logging on a chryslist and um, you know, searching for
Speaker 1: acting jobs, even even though I had no idea how
Speaker 1: the industry worked, I didn't know anybody. But you know,
Speaker 1: I remember that feeling of being on set for the
Speaker 1: first time as a movie extra and being so enamored
Speaker 1: and blown away by the energy by the people, and
Speaker 1: just wanting to do anything that I could to get
Speaker 1: back right. And you know, in the years that i'm
Speaker 1: since I made that decision, I just feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: that lesson has been has been learned in spades of
Speaker 1: this idea of like it all starts with permission. And
Speaker 1: I remember I said this when I was on stage
Speaker 1: accepting my People's Choice award. Is that when you give
Speaker 1: yourself permission to pursue your dreams, that is the moment
Speaker 1: that you can actually that your life begins. Right. It's
Speaker 1: it's when you stop being a spectator and you start
Speaker 1: being the man in the arena, you know. And for me,
Speaker 1: you know that this tweets and Jay, by the way,
Speaker 1: this tweet is only one of the many things that
Speaker 1: I did over the course of my career manifesting this
Speaker 1: kind of superhero role for myself. I wanted to play
Speaker 1: a superhero ever since since day one, you know. And
Speaker 1: I had like written short films for myself where I
Speaker 1: played a superhero. I you know, tweeted Marvel back in
Speaker 1: twenty fourteen, Hey Marvel, how about an Asian superhero? And
Speaker 1: then yeah, in twenty eighteen when they announced the movie,
Speaker 1: I thought, well why not? You know what's the worst.
Speaker 1: The worst thing that can happen is that they cast
Speaker 1: someone else. But no one's you know, no one, no one,
Speaker 1: no one's gonna be talking about me anyway, and so
Speaker 1: kind of tongue in cheek. I made that tweet. I
Speaker 1: was like, Hey, Marvel, we're gonna talk or what. And
Speaker 1: of course then I suspected this and I had it
Speaker 1: verified multiple times. Kevin Figy never read the tweet. Anyone,
Speaker 1: nobody at Marvel or anybody along the decision making process
Speaker 1: ever read the tweet. But I kind of love that, right,
Speaker 1: because the manifestation is not for anybody but yourself. It's
Speaker 1: for you to set a sight in the horizon, be
Speaker 1: it wherever. You know, You pick a direction and you say,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm ever going to get there,
Speaker 1: but that's the direction I'm headed, and I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna go. And and that's that was the
Speaker 1: mentality that I had been living with, you know, ever
Speaker 1: since I made the decision to pursue active that I love.
Speaker 1: I love that point you just made. I think that
Speaker 1: is such a brilliant distinction between how we envision how
Speaker 1: manifesting works and how it actually works. Like that distinction
Speaker 1: that Seema just said, the idea that the tweet was
Speaker 1: for him to believe it, to put it out there,
Speaker 1: to feel it, to become really confident that that's what
Speaker 1: I want to do. That was for him and no
Speaker 1: one saw it. And I love that no one saw
Speaker 1: it too, Like, I'm totally with you. I think that's
Speaker 1: that's incredible. So I want to go back a bit
Speaker 1: into the book where you talk about your childhood. And
Speaker 1: I love hearing about people's childhood because I think we
Speaker 1: underestimate how much our childhood impacts how we grow up.
Speaker 1: Like I always say to people that their their adult
Speaker 1: pursuits are based on the inner child's needs. Most people's
Speaker 1: adult pursuits are based on what they didn't have as
Speaker 1: a child. Now, can you share with us the relationship
Speaker 1: you had with your parents growing up, because you grew
Speaker 1: up with your grandparents, right, So can you walk us
Speaker 1: through that scenario? Absolutely? Yeah. So I was born in
Speaker 1: a city in northeastern China called Harbin or Harbin, and
Speaker 1: shortly after I was born, my parents actually immigrated to Canada.
Speaker 1: They were pursuing, you know, their higher education. So my
Speaker 1: father was studying his PhD. And then he was able
Speaker 1: to bring my mother over and they actually ended up
Speaker 1: studying at the same university, Queen's University in Kingston, Ontario.
Speaker 1: Shout out to queens and and you know it was
Speaker 1: it was not feasible at the time for them to
Speaker 1: bring you know, a newborn baby with them. They would
Speaker 1: have had to basically I would have been a full
Speaker 1: time job in and of myself. But then they also
Speaker 1: had to maintain a full course load, they had to
Speaker 1: do research. You know. Um, it just didn't make sense.
Speaker 1: And of course there was not enough money. We were
Speaker 1: so poor, like they didn't have any money to pay
Speaker 1: for childcare at all. So, um, it really made sense
Speaker 1: to leave me in the in the care of my grandparents,
Speaker 1: so really like they were the ones who raised me.
Speaker 1: And for about four and a half years, I lived
Speaker 1: what I believed to be a pretty idyllic life in China.
Speaker 1: I know, I knew that I had parents, kind of
Speaker 1: conceptually that my grandparents were not my parents, but I
Speaker 1: also didn't really care. I had I had people who
Speaker 1: loved me, I had a tribe, I had a family,
Speaker 1: and you know, we slept in the same bed every
Speaker 1: single night, and I just I went to sleep feeling
Speaker 1: like my heart was full and that I was loved
Speaker 1: and that was really you know, at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, you don't really need anything more than that.
Speaker 1: That being said, one day when I'm about four and
Speaker 1: a half, stranger shows up at the door and he says,
Speaker 1: I'm your dad. I'm your dad, and I'm here to
Speaker 1: take you to this new life in Canada where everything
Speaker 1: is better. You know. Um, you know, we have so
Speaker 1: many more opportunities in Canada, and your mother and I
Speaker 1: are working on building a life in Canada. You're going
Speaker 1: to come with us and be in our family and
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, but can I bring my grandparents?
Speaker 1: You know that, like the fundamental you think about a
Speaker 1: child and what's going on in his mind. He's like,
Speaker 1: but but I don't want to say good. I don't
Speaker 1: want to leave my grandparents. They're my family. But you
Speaker 1: know that that was, you know, the whole family was
Speaker 1: kind together on this kind of messaging, and I was
Speaker 1: eventually convinced or careerced to to leave the country and
Speaker 1: to go with my dad to Canada. And um, you know, effectively,
Speaker 1: if you really think about it, jay I was I
Speaker 1: was adopted by my own biological parents at age five,
Speaker 1: and you know, whereas for my parents, I think it
Speaker 1: must have felt like this happy ending because after so
Speaker 1: many years apart, the families finally together, you know, we
Speaker 1: could finally live our happily happily ever moment in this
Speaker 1: new country. What it ended up being was a lot
Speaker 1: more complicated than that in truth, in reality, because you know,
Speaker 1: first and foremost, my parents didn't know who I was.
Speaker 1: They had no idea the person that I had grown
Speaker 1: to become. You know, a lot of things set by
Speaker 1: the time you're you know, at the age of four
Speaker 1: and a half five developmentally, you know, a lot of
Speaker 1: things about your personality solidify, and I think they were
Speaker 1: surprised by the child that they eventually got, you know.
Speaker 1: And you know, the other thing too, is that they
Speaker 1: had no learning curve in parenting. It's just one day
Speaker 1: they were all of a sudden responsible for this child.
Speaker 1: And you know, whereas if you had given birth and
Speaker 1: you had stayed by your baby day after day, you
Speaker 1: would have at least kind of like had the ability
Speaker 1: to learn as things were going. But then there was
Speaker 1: this whole gap in time where they just you know,
Speaker 1: they didn't know. And and so what ensued in the
Speaker 1: in the next like I want to say, like one
Speaker 1: or one and a half decades, was you know, a
Speaker 1: lot of intergenerational conflict and budding of heads and just
Speaker 1: like you know, parents and myself. I didn't have any siblings,
Speaker 1: but just me and my parents just having different expectations
Speaker 1: of each other, you know, fundamentally misunderstanding each other and
Speaker 1: oftentimes getting into big blowout arguments sometimes you know, with violence,
Speaker 1: and and you know, not not great, not great times altogether.
Speaker 1: But evidently you know the book, you know, having been
Speaker 1: out and handing come full circle so many years later,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm my parents are my best friends today
Speaker 1: and it's the recognition of that journey that we went
Speaker 1: on together that really catalyzed the creation of this book.
Speaker 1: So I'm really really excited to talk about it for
Speaker 1: people to read it. Thank you for sharing that with us,
Speaker 1: because I think you know, today everyone sees you as
Speaker 1: the superhero, and they see you as obviously you're just
Speaker 1: crushing it right now, and you don't realize that there's
Speaker 1: a real person behind all of this, and there's a
Speaker 1: real journey and a real story, and there's a real
Speaker 1: real life is the right word. I think we disconnect superheroes,
Speaker 1: and that's why origin stories have always been so fascinating
Speaker 1: as kids of like, well, how did this person get there.
Speaker 1: And I love that you called this your origin story
Speaker 1: because it does feel very grounded. There's this line in
Speaker 1: the book that I've that really resonated with me, and
Speaker 1: I think it's even more fascinating against the backdrop of
Speaker 1: what you just said. And you said that my parents,
Speaker 1: like many in their generation, were willing to sacrifice greatly
Speaker 1: so they could provide financial stability for their children. And
Speaker 1: the reason why that resonated with me is I think
Speaker 1: a lot of people can connect with that. When I
Speaker 1: hear that, it sounds like you reconcile their shortcomings with
Speaker 1: what they were able, what they were trying to do,
Speaker 1: at least from an intention point of view. What do
Speaker 1: you think you what do you think you learned during
Speaker 1: that time? Not now, I love hearing that you're best
Speaker 1: friends now and you've really connected, But what do you
Speaker 1: think you took away during that time when it wasn't
Speaker 1: great and it was painful? Were you what were you learning?
Speaker 1: What were you developing at that time? I mean I
Speaker 1: think I was. I think I was developing an internalized
Speaker 1: sense of hatred for my own identity. I could every
Speaker 1: day at home this constant battle of culture and values
Speaker 1: and you know language, because you know, we were speaking
Speaker 1: in different languages to each other, how could we possibly
Speaker 1: fully understand where each you know, the other came from.
Speaker 1: So I, you know, I grew up under the assumption of, like,
Speaker 1: I've got the worst parents in the world. They're embarrassing
Speaker 1: to be around, they're embarrassing to take in public, and
Speaker 1: they don't understand, you know, whereas you know, all of
Speaker 1: my friends and my peers they have parents who understand.
Speaker 1: Our children like to go out, our children like to
Speaker 1: go to parties, you know. For for me and my parents,
Speaker 1: you know, they were so fixated on this idea of
Speaker 1: academic success being the only way out, or being the
Speaker 1: only way to maintain the level of stability and to
Speaker 1: keep a roof over our heads that they were just like,
Speaker 1: you shouldn't be doing this, you need to be studying.
Speaker 1: You know. That was the messaging that was constantly being
Speaker 1: repeated time and time again. And you know, without kind
Speaker 1: of hitting too hard, this idea of a tiger parent
Speaker 1: that I hate that narrative. You know, it really just
Speaker 1: comes from you know, my parents coming to and I'm
Speaker 1: starting to I'm starting to look back now, so you
Speaker 1: stop me. Whenever it's starting to get no love. No,
Speaker 1: I love it, and you're self aware. But but you know,
Speaker 1: my parents came here with nothing, and so the anxiety
Speaker 1: of that an immigrant feels, I think is something that
Speaker 1: you know, even I never understood because I was sheltered
Speaker 1: from it, right, like of course, but but looking back
Speaker 1: and like, of course, my parents were obsessed with the
Speaker 1: idea of having a stable career, and of course they
Speaker 1: they didn't pause to think about what they were passionate
Speaker 1: about doing. They just wanted to. They knew they were
Speaker 1: electrical engineers, so they were like, this is my trade,
Speaker 1: this is my craft. I can get work like this
Speaker 1: and I can build a future for my family. And
Speaker 1: if I teach my son to do the same, he
Speaker 1: will be able to do the same thing for his family.
Speaker 1: And when you look at it that way, you're like,
Speaker 1: of course they acted that way, but but yeah, at
Speaker 1: the time, it really made me resent them, and it
Speaker 1: made me resent their their value in their culture, which
Speaker 1: incidentally is my culture, you know, Yeah, and I regret
Speaker 1: that very typically. No, I love how real this is
Speaker 1: because I can relate to that as a South Asian
Speaker 1: growing up in London. It was the same thing my
Speaker 1: mom moved to London when she was sixteen. She had
Speaker 1: to like find a job, economic stability, like you know,
Speaker 1: they didn't. They didn't have wealth and family or anything
Speaker 1: in England. And then you know, it's like I grew
Speaker 1: up with the same messaging and it was for the
Speaker 1: same reasons. But I think it's so important that that
Speaker 1: time doesn't turn into bitterness for us or that feeling
Speaker 1: of resentment towards our parents long term, because when we
Speaker 1: do try and understand what you're sharing with us, you're like, Oh,
Speaker 1: it's not that you it's it's not that it's okay
Speaker 1: that they didn't think about these things. It's that you
Speaker 1: understand why they didn't have the time, right, it's like reconciling.
Speaker 1: So you tell a story in the book when your mother,
Speaker 1: I believe, locked you outside of the whole way. Uh,
Speaker 1: do you mind sharing boughts of that story with us
Speaker 1: about how different you think parenting was in your home
Speaker 1: compared to others, because I think that really highlighted that
Speaker 1: difference you spoke about. Yeah, and I mean I mean
Speaker 1: the way that my parents treated me. It was also also,
Speaker 1: by the way, very different than the way that my grandparents,
Speaker 1: you know, ever interacted with me. And I truly believe,
Speaker 1: like you know, with my idea, yeah and my nine
Speaker 1: nine like we we they were. They were perfect and
Speaker 1: every every possible sense of the word. You know, they
Speaker 1: were affectionate, They you know, we were reasonable that it
Speaker 1: wasn't like they spoiled me to become this like total
Speaker 1: entitled brat. Um. You know, they were reasonable, They taught lessons,
Speaker 1: they were patient, and and with my parents, I feel like,
Speaker 1: you know, that patience just wasn't there. And of course
Speaker 1: they were you know, a lot younger. They had you know,
Speaker 1: had to take class, they were busy, they were anxious
Speaker 1: about other things. But um, this I'll never forget. The
Speaker 1: first time that I was really punished was was when
Speaker 1: I you know, I wrote in the book and I
Speaker 1: had you know, I think my dad had just picked
Speaker 1: me up from school and he was, you know, kind
Speaker 1: of like, well, what did you do at school today?
Speaker 1: And it was just this really innocent lie. But we
Speaker 1: had gone swimming, so I said, oh, we were we
Speaker 1: were swimming, and and my dad was like, well, are
Speaker 1: you know, are are you fast? Are you who's the
Speaker 1: fastest kid in the class? And because I just wanted
Speaker 1: to impress my parents. I was like I am, and
Speaker 1: he was like are you sure? And and then I
Speaker 1: don't know how this. I mean, it sounds ridiculous to
Speaker 1: say now, but I was like, you know, after a while,
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I'm not sure. I was lying.
Speaker 1: And I mean, like, how like it's not like we
Speaker 1: all hopped in a pool and the and the and
Speaker 1: the instructor was like, all right, everybody, we're gonna grade this,
Speaker 1: being like everyone was just having fun. But of course
Speaker 1: I just, you know, I just really wanted I just
Speaker 1: really wanted to impress them, and uh and and so
Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, it wasn't It was I was lying.
Speaker 1: And my dad was like, Okay, you did the right thing.
Speaker 1: You told the truth. And I was like, yeah, you know,
Speaker 1: please don't tell mom, because because my mother is as
Speaker 1: you know, as tough as my dad is, my mom
Speaker 1: was like the real um enforcer of the family, like
Speaker 1: very vicious and specific with her words, like just the
Speaker 1: words that cut you all. You have this one parent
Speaker 1: that sometimes, you know whose words just cut a little
Speaker 1: bit deeper. That was my mom. And so I was like,
Speaker 1: can you please not tell don't tell Mama? Like please, um?
Speaker 1: And he was like, okay, okay, I won't. And later
Speaker 1: on that night at dinner, you know, we're together and
Speaker 1: my mom was like, so, how is school, um, and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, it's fine. We went swimming and
Speaker 1: I my dad. I remember this so vividly, and it's
Speaker 1: so funny because when I tell him, he doesn't but
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, this happens. My dad sold me out.
Speaker 1: So he promised me that he wasn't going to tell
Speaker 1: my mom, and then he was like, SIMU told a
Speaker 1: lie today, And basically, like literally the moment that he
Speaker 1: finished saying it, my mom was out of her chair,
Speaker 1: you know, and grabbed my hand, led me out of
Speaker 1: the door, you know, shut it in my face and
Speaker 1: it locked it, and I was I was out. I
Speaker 1: mean for a for a five year old, you know,
Speaker 1: for a six year old, it's probably like fifteen minutes.
Speaker 1: For me, it felt like forever. And I was struggling
Speaker 1: with so many things, you know, like, you know, first
Speaker 1: of all, I was I was being disciplined in a
Speaker 1: way that I had never been before. My dad had
Speaker 1: like betrayed my trust. So it was really it was
Speaker 1: a really um pivotal moment in my time in Canada
Speaker 1: because I really felt quite alone. You know, I missed
Speaker 1: my grandparents. I wanted to be home. I was promised,
Speaker 1: I was sold on this utopic life in this new
Speaker 1: country when it really all I wanted was to go back,
Speaker 1: you know. Um so so yeah. That I mean that
Speaker 1: that kind of was the was the catalyzing moment for
Speaker 1: everything that that came after A really foreshadowed all of
Speaker 1: the conflicts that we would that we would have issues
Speaker 1: about trust, you know, the physical, physical discipline, and just
Speaker 1: remember feeling so alone out in that hallway. What I've
Speaker 1: find so great about this book and why I want
Speaker 1: everyone to read it as as fans of yours, as
Speaker 1: people who are struggling with their own identity in their
Speaker 1: own journey. Maybe there's people who've listening and watching who've
Speaker 1: moved city, moved country. Maybe you've actually gone through an
Speaker 1: adoption process, maybe you've moved with your family. Like the
Speaker 1: reason why it's so powerful is your memory is really vivid.
Speaker 1: Like it's it's amazing how strong these moments are. And
Speaker 1: that's why I wanted you to share that story, because
Speaker 1: it's like a lot of people I speak to don't
Speaker 1: really have strong memories of five six years old, Like
Speaker 1: a lot of people's memories don't start till a lot later,
Speaker 1: memories that they can really hold on to. And so
Speaker 1: one of the things I do, I think you do
Speaker 1: so beautifully as a writer in this book, is that
Speaker 1: we really go back with you, like we're really there
Speaker 1: in that environment. Like it almost feels like I'm watching
Speaker 1: the movie, right. So I just want to congratulate you
Speaker 1: from from a writing point of view that it's it's
Speaker 1: so strong that I really feel like I'm there, And
Speaker 1: that's why the books a power full bit case. You
Speaker 1: know who hates that, by the way, is my parents.
Speaker 1: When they read they're like, like, we've had so many conversations,
Speaker 1: and you know, they've been so wonderfully supportive about the book,
Speaker 1: and I definitely couldn't have written it without them, you know,
Speaker 1: without the cooperation and the hours and hours of sitting
Speaker 1: together going beat by beat. You know, um, you know
Speaker 1: that the story starts in their infancy and their formative
Speaker 1: years in China in the sixties and seventies. You know,
Speaker 1: I really wanted readers to have that perspective as well.
Speaker 1: But it's really funny. They're like they just they read
Speaker 1: those parts and they're like the world is going to
Speaker 1: hate us. Yeah, why would you air out all of
Speaker 1: our dirty all of the worst things that we've ever done.
Speaker 1: And you know, you know, I've been very I've tried
Speaker 1: to be very diplomatic with them throughout the whole process.
Speaker 1: I'm like, with the most amount of love ever, I'm like, yeah,
Speaker 1: but you did those things. And you know, when you're
Speaker 1: when you're young too, you're so impressionable. It's like you
Speaker 1: remember those cuts, those you know, and every child has them.
Speaker 1: They're those moments where you know, if if a parent
Speaker 1: not being there when they wanted them to be, and
Speaker 1: and you know, of course no parent is perfect, and
Speaker 1: you're always going to have those moments as a child,
Speaker 1: but they exist. And I feel like my goal is to,
Speaker 1: you know, in telling the story is not some sort
Speaker 1: of retribution for the way that they treated me or
Speaker 1: spoke to me, but it's that you know, comes from
Speaker 1: this idea or responding to this idea that so many
Speaker 1: immigrant families will will internalize what goes on and it's
Speaker 1: not you know, it's not common practice for us to
Speaker 1: share in these in these moments, share these memories and
Speaker 1: these stories, and what it can create is this really
Speaker 1: isolating environment for the children and you know, and oftentimes
Speaker 1: to the parents as well. You know it when when
Speaker 1: you come to a new country with no support system,
Speaker 1: it can it already feels so isolating. And so what
Speaker 1: I wanted to do with with the book and with
Speaker 1: the story was to show immigrant children everywhere that they're
Speaker 1: not alone and that you know, it's okay to be vulnerable,
Speaker 1: it's okay to share. And you know, there are millions
Speaker 1: and millions more stories just like this, and the way out,
Speaker 1: you know, the way to, you know, not necessarily the
Speaker 1: solution to all things, but certainly, you know, a step
Speaker 1: in coping is in sharing and in you know, finding
Speaker 1: community and a sense of you know, of identity and commonality. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: I think when you're sharing your private experiences publicly, that's
Speaker 1: going to help people intern with their private lives, right, Like,
Speaker 1: that's what's happening here. It's like people being able to
Speaker 1: see like, yeah, that's exactly what I had at home,
Speaker 1: or that was similar. What I'm really interested by seeing
Speaker 1: is like, actually, the fact that you just said that
Speaker 1: your parents were a part of the process, and of
Speaker 1: course you talk about them in the book and tell
Speaker 1: their journey to me. Actually, that's a beautiful healing story
Speaker 1: in and of itself that here you are airing out,
Speaker 1: as you said, dirty laundry, but actually the people all involved,
Speaker 1: our friends and a family, tell us about what was
Speaker 1: some of the steps to repairing and amending that connection
Speaker 1: as you grew and matured, because I think that's what
Speaker 1: most of us need help with with our parents is
Speaker 1: we may even understand what they did and why they
Speaker 1: did it, but to really have a positive relationship with
Speaker 1: them as we get older. That's an amazing story in
Speaker 1: and of itself. What was some of those early steps
Speaker 1: that you took to reflect, repair and amend I would
Speaker 1: say the first steps toward well, first of all, to
Speaker 1: paint the picture of what things were like the first
Speaker 1: couple of years when I decided to throw away my
Speaker 1: entire education and pursue a career in the arts. You
Speaker 1: can imagine, you know, my parents were not pleased and
Speaker 1: there was a there was almost like two years where
Speaker 1: we rarely spoke to each other. It was it was
Speaker 1: just very you know, things were very tense. And then
Speaker 1: I booked a show called Blood and Water is my
Speaker 1: very first you know, series regular role. I was in
Speaker 1: the main cast, and the reason I booked this role, um,
Speaker 1: you know, apart from giving a not bad audition, was
Speaker 1: was I was one of the only actors in the
Speaker 1: country who could speak Mandarin fluently, and so I had
Speaker 1: a bilingual character. I was in a hotel room in Vancouver,
Speaker 1: I had monologues and monologues in Chinese and I couldn't read.
Speaker 1: I was I'm not literate in Chinese, right, So it's
Speaker 1: a very difficult language. It's I think easy to be
Speaker 1: able to speak, it relatively impossible to learn the work
Speaker 1: because there's no alphabet system. It's just really you either
Speaker 1: know the word or you don't. And I needed help.
Speaker 1: So I rang my parents up and I was like,
Speaker 1: you need to you need to help me with this,
Speaker 1: and they very begrudgingly, we're you know, got on the
Speaker 1: phone with me, and I feel like in the process
Speaker 1: of that connection, you know, the process of that of
Speaker 1: that um you know, learning, there was a connection that
Speaker 1: was formed, and my parents came to understand just how
Speaker 1: hard I was willing to to work, you know, because
Speaker 1: I think up until that point their mentality was of
Speaker 1: sim Simu doesn't have the toughness, you know, he couldn't.
Speaker 1: He wasn't tough enough to maintain a job at you know, Deloitte,
Speaker 1: with the accounting firm that I worked at. Um you know,
Speaker 1: Seema just lacks mental fortitude. And I think that was
Speaker 1: the first time that they had their belief system challenged
Speaker 1: that they were like, oh, Seemu's very mentally resilient and
Speaker 1: he is willing to work hard. It's just that he
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's just different passions. It was something
Speaker 1: else that was calling him. And from that point on,
Speaker 1: I think they started to really buy into my career
Speaker 1: and they started to share in the wins and the losses,
Speaker 1: because before then they didn't really care. You know, I'd
Speaker 1: say hey, they'd be like, what's new. I'd be like, hey,
Speaker 1: I booked. I booked a commercial for this restaurant. You know,
Speaker 1: it's going all across Canada and they'd be like, great,
Speaker 1: so we so you threw away in education in private
Speaker 1: school and four years of university to make commercials for
Speaker 1: people to watch. Congratulations, Like, they were pretty savage about it.
Speaker 1: So this was the first time that they started to
Speaker 1: really like, you know, maybe respect my decision and what
Speaker 1: I was doing. And you know, shortly after that, I
Speaker 1: thankfully booked a show called Kim's Convenience, which ended up
Speaker 1: being this you know, big hit, I mean countries all
Speaker 1: around the world, and you know, catapulted me out of
Speaker 1: this like destitute state of like credit card debt artistry
Speaker 1: to you know, being kind of somewhat middle class and
Speaker 1: and you know, just not worried about where my next
Speaker 1: job was going to come from. UM, and from there,
Speaker 1: you know, from then on, I think they really started
Speaker 1: to be to be cheerleaders. But of course, you know,
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean, you know, just because there was an
Speaker 1: external success in our in our lives, it doesn't necessarily
Speaker 1: mean that the relationship is all in good. You know,
Speaker 1: I was still very aware that I had trauma and
Speaker 1: resentment inside me, and so in UM, somewhere around that time,
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say when, because my mother's going to
Speaker 1: murder me. But my mother turned sixty and it's so
Speaker 1: sensitive about it. Oh my god, she's gonna kill me.
Speaker 1: And for her sixtieth birthday, I was writing her this
Speaker 1: card that was that was very kind of just generic
Speaker 1: by all means, you know, happy birthday. I love you.
Speaker 1: That's sort of actually not I love you, just kind
Speaker 1: of happy birthday at all that sort of stuff. And
Speaker 1: then I kind of stopped myself and I was like,
Speaker 1: there are so many things that I want to say
Speaker 1: to this woman, you know, and I just I can't
Speaker 1: keep going pretending like things are fine. I felt like
Speaker 1: that we were all just kind of in this playing
Speaker 1: out this this act. We were all acting this scenario
Speaker 1: where there was just no trauma and everything was all
Speaker 1: good and sunshine, and I was like, I need to
Speaker 1: I need to get some of these thoughts down. So
Speaker 1: instead of this card, I actually wrote her like an
Speaker 1: eight page letter, you know, talking about my feelings as
Speaker 1: a child, talking about how I always felt inadequate, and
Speaker 1: how I was constantly chasing their expectations of me and
Speaker 1: feeling like I was coming up short, and how ultimately
Speaker 1: through it all, you know now I understood, you know
Speaker 1: that that where they where they came from, wasn't wasn't
Speaker 1: this place of malice or evil or anything like that,
Speaker 1: but just of of intense anxiety and wanting the very
Speaker 1: best for their next generation and having sacrificed so much
Speaker 1: to be able to provide that opportunity. Right. So I've
Speaker 1: ended the letter with you know, I'm so extremely grateful
Speaker 1: for everything that you've done. I love you. We don't
Speaker 1: say that to each other enough. I hope, you know,
Speaker 1: this will change the course of our relationship. But even
Speaker 1: if it doesn't, I feel like these are the words
Speaker 1: that I need to say to you right now. And
Speaker 1: you know, it's very, very nervous, but I put it
Speaker 1: in the envelope by you know, I handed it to
Speaker 1: her and she read it later that night, and you know,
Speaker 1: I knew that one of two things could have happened. Right.
Speaker 1: Everything could have stayed the same. It could have been
Speaker 1: the status quo my mother could not have you know,
Speaker 1: reacted to, you know, positively, or she could really take
Speaker 1: the letter, really understand and absorb its intention and then
Speaker 1: you know, join me in charting out a new path.
Speaker 1: Because one of the other things that I said was,
Speaker 1: it may seem like we've spent so many years at
Speaker 1: each other's throats, but we still have so much time.
Speaker 1: You know, if we if we started today, we still
Speaker 1: have so much time. And and my mother wrote me
Speaker 1: back and she said, I've been I've been crying. I've
Speaker 1: been you know, sitting with this letter, and I'm ready
Speaker 1: to join you. And that really was the moment that
Speaker 1: our relationship stopped being you know, surface level and started
Speaker 1: to get so much deeper. And the more that we
Speaker 1: you know, the more time we spent together, the more
Speaker 1: we realized just how much we've enjoyed each other's company.
Speaker 1: I took my mother out on a Mother's Day date
Speaker 1: for the very first time that year, and it was
Speaker 1: like the two of us just sitting across from each other.
Speaker 1: It's just the most beautiful momentum that, you know. I
Speaker 1: just I'm so incredibly grateful for yeah, and everything that's
Speaker 1: happened since the success, the fame and the accoho. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's allowed me to really fully bring them along for
Speaker 1: the ride and to let them in, you know, Whereas
Speaker 1: I feel like if we didn't have those conversations, there
Speaker 1: would always be a part of me that suspected that,
Speaker 1: you know, hey, what what would our relationship be like
Speaker 1: if that success didn't come, if I didn't book this role.
Speaker 1: But I feel like, you know, because we did the
Speaker 1: work before, um, you know, I that there's not even
Speaker 1: a single part of me that feels that feels that way,
Speaker 1: you know, And instead I'm just focused on being able
Speaker 1: to give my parents the best possible life in their
Speaker 1: third act, you know, in being able to for for
Speaker 1: immigrant parents who were so who literally like when we
Speaker 1: went to McDonald's, would would would try to convince their
Speaker 1: son that they weren't hungry, you know, but but would
Speaker 1: get their son the happy meal, you know, and would
Speaker 1: watch him eat. Like my parents never wanted anything, you know,
Speaker 1: like for themselves. And it's just an incredible feeling to
Speaker 1: be able to give back to them, you know, and
Speaker 1: to and to show them the things that they deserve
Speaker 1: to have. It's it's really wonderful, see me. That's I'm
Speaker 1: so you went into that with us, man. That is
Speaker 1: just so wonderful. They hear about the real work. And
Speaker 1: I love that you drew that important connection that you
Speaker 1: didn't assume that the external success was solving the internal
Speaker 1: problem and that the internal needed its own work. And
Speaker 1: I think that that requires so much maturity because for
Speaker 1: most people they go, well, once I get this, that
Speaker 1: solves everything, because now everyone's going to be happy. And
Speaker 1: I think that that's a very undeveloped viewpoint because they're
Speaker 1: completely they're two completely different things. And actually I want
Speaker 1: to point out a few other things to people who
Speaker 1: are listening the connection you made with your parents around
Speaker 1: learning Chinese and them seeing how hard you had to work.
Speaker 1: I think that that's genius as a lesson for all
Speaker 1: of us, that if your parents or your friends or
Speaker 1: your family members don't believe in you, they're not coming
Speaker 1: on the journey with you. Let them come on the
Speaker 1: journey that they can understand. Right. If your parents are accountants,
Speaker 1: bring them in and have them be involved in seeing
Speaker 1: how you're managing your finances. If you're someone who's trying
Speaker 1: to do something artistic, your parents may not understand the art,
Speaker 1: but they may understand the engineering aspect. Like I think
Speaker 1: that is such a refreshing way to think about it,
Speaker 1: because we want to be recognized by our parents for
Speaker 1: the art, but that's not what they understand and appreciate.
Speaker 1: And so there's such a brilliant lesson there for all
Speaker 1: of us and how we connect. And then another oh sorry,
Speaker 1: go and see sorry go ahead, Oh no, no, no,
Speaker 1: I was just gonna I was just gonna echo echo
Speaker 1: the importance of that and to say yes, like, you know,
Speaker 1: you know, parents are like we are all capable of evolving,
Speaker 1: but only at a certain speed. Yeah, and so for
Speaker 1: you know, for many parents, I would say, not just mine.
Speaker 1: If you're just to show up one day and say
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be an actor, I'm gonna be a provisional beast,
Speaker 1: you know, basketball, Like that's a bit of a mental leap,
Speaker 1: and so you do, like, you know, maybe start to
Speaker 1: take them on that journey or and maybe understand that
Speaker 1: it's not going to happen overnight. You know, Yes, our
Speaker 1: value systems are just so different anyway, Yeah, please go on, No, No,
Speaker 1: I love hearing this from you. I think the mistake
Speaker 1: we make is that when we share our passion with
Speaker 1: our parents or our family, we've already been thinking about
Speaker 1: it for three years and we just told them in
Speaker 1: three minutes. So now we're expecting them in three minutes
Speaker 1: to catch up with our three years of thinking. And
Speaker 1: that just doesn't correlate. That doesn't correspond. And I love,
Speaker 1: I really really appreciate how you've thought about this and
Speaker 1: how you've made those choices. The funny thing is, I
Speaker 1: don't know if you know this. I spent three years
Speaker 1: working at Accentia, so before I did. Yeah, So when
Speaker 1: you said Deloitte, I was like, I know exactly what
Speaker 1: that looks like. I was a consultant at Accentia. So
Speaker 1: when you said Deloitte, I was like, I know exactly
Speaker 1: what the world looks like when you told your friends
Speaker 1: or your colleagues at Deloitte that you were going to
Speaker 1: make a career switch. What was their reaction then? And
Speaker 1: are you in touch with any of them now? And
Speaker 1: and tell us about that journey from a friend's point
Speaker 1: of view, you know, you know, it's really funny. I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't keep in touch with like a single person,
Speaker 1: almost a single person from that entire kind of business
Speaker 1: school era of my life right, which was like the
Speaker 1: you know, the latter half of college as we were
Speaker 1: kicking off recruiting, and you know, it's like, so, so
Speaker 1: you know Jay having worked at Accenture, which by the way,
Speaker 1: is a very prestigious consulting firm for anybody who who
Speaker 1: doesn't know, Um, you know, there's a bit of a
Speaker 1: hierarchy at business school, and it's like, you know, you
Speaker 1: all get together, you talk, you know, you learn, you
Speaker 1: talk about you do cases. I'm sure you did case
Speaker 1: studies and all that. And then you know, after when
Speaker 1: when it starts getting to time to recruit for summer
Speaker 1: internships and full time jobs. It's like investment bankers, management consultants,
Speaker 1: everything else, and then you know, um accountants at the
Speaker 1: at the bottom. So I was already like my Mark,
Speaker 1: because we're not good in business class. I was not
Speaker 1: the guy that read the Wall Street Journal every day, um,
Speaker 1: you know, just like woke up every day passionate about
Speaker 1: capital markets or about you know, a corporate strategy. Um.
Speaker 1: I was the guy that went home and played video
Speaker 1: games with his roommate because I just like wasn't engaged.
Speaker 1: And so yeah, I just felt like I was constantly
Speaker 1: a fish out of water for that entire period of
Speaker 1: my life. And the day I got laid off at Deloitte,
Speaker 1: you know, I remember very vividly. Again, Um, we all
Speaker 1: remember our traumas. And I remember going into my managing
Speaker 1: partner's office and remember the woman from HR that that
Speaker 1: was like standing next to him, and then the moment
Speaker 1: where he was like, we're going to terminate. We're here
Speaker 1: to terminate your employment. And then the HR lady stepping
Speaker 1: in and saying you we're going to give you ten
Speaker 1: minutes to collect your things and we're going to escort
Speaker 1: you back into the into the you know, the office
Speaker 1: and and of course it's an open concept office, so
Speaker 1: everybody can see. But we're going to scort you there
Speaker 1: so you can, you know, pack up your final thing.
Speaker 1: And I remember, you know, walking back out onto the floor,
Speaker 1: and not a single person made eye contact with me,
Speaker 1: spoke with me, you know, people that I thought were
Speaker 1: my friends. And I don't necessarily put that blame on them.
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously there is just a really awkward moment
Speaker 1: and they probably were just like, oh, what's happening? But
Speaker 1: that was it. That was my goodbye to a lot
Speaker 1: of those people. Was like I looked around, nobody said anything.
Speaker 1: Everyone's heads were down. They just like wanted to pretend
Speaker 1: like it wasn't happening. And so in complete and utter silence,
Speaker 1: I packed up my things and then and then I left,
Speaker 1: and it was almost like that there was such a
Speaker 1: such a clean break. I did run into somebody I
Speaker 1: used to work with a few months later, or I
Speaker 1: would say maybe like a year later, when I was
Speaker 1: you know, just starting out as an actor and of
Speaker 1: course auditioning more than I was working, getting rejected more
Speaker 1: than I was getting hired, and as one of my
Speaker 1: other jobs to kind of you know, pay the bills.
Speaker 1: I was handing out dog food as samples on the
Speaker 1: on the on this side of the street. And that
Speaker 1: job took me into the financial district near where I
Speaker 1: used to work. And this fellow was on his lunch
Speaker 1: break and ran into and kind of tapped me on
Speaker 1: the shoulder and was like SIMU, and you know, he
Speaker 1: had been like promoted. I could tell by his suit
Speaker 1: that he was like, you know, he's at least a manager,
Speaker 1: and I was. I was handing out dog food and
Speaker 1: that was there's a really hard moment for me. I
Speaker 1: had to come home and like you know, it was
Speaker 1: like a re reevaluate all your life choices moment. But thankfully,
Speaker 1: you know, I think I had become so happy with
Speaker 1: the person that even if I wasn't getting the work necessarily,
Speaker 1: I was so happy with the person that I became
Speaker 1: right out of the shell of somebody who just didn't
Speaker 1: care about anything, couldn't seem to find any sort of
Speaker 1: motivation in life. Came this person who was just like
Speaker 1: hungry every single day, ready to attack the day, and
Speaker 1: was even willing to, uh, you know, hand food examples. Yeah,
Speaker 1: to be able to support that dream. That's what I'm
Speaker 1: hearing when I'm speaking to you about this today, and
Speaker 1: of course when I was reading the book and when
Speaker 1: we've had interactions before. What's really clear for me today
Speaker 1: is even though in the book you will talk about
Speaker 1: how you wanted to always find approval and validation from
Speaker 1: your parents and other people, what I'm actually feeling when
Speaker 1: I'm hearing you today is that you've kind of had
Speaker 1: to do that for yourself the whole time because there
Speaker 1: hasn't always been that external validation. So at least from
Speaker 1: our conversation today, what I'm garnering is that at every
Speaker 1: step you've validated yourself because no one was there to
Speaker 1: validate you. Would you say that's true? Would you say
Speaker 1: that that was part of building that confidence in who
Speaker 1: you were, no matter the external position of your journey.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, absolutely, you know I wasn't you know.
Speaker 1: And I don't necessarily think I'm the most confident person
Speaker 1: in the world. I think I struggle, especially like you
Speaker 1: want to know what impostors, since it feels like trying
Speaker 1: me me at the oscars for the first time. That
Speaker 1: is a crazy environment to be in, and all of
Speaker 1: a sudden you're looking at everyone around and you're like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, what am I doing here? But you know,
Speaker 1: I would say this, I spent so much of my
Speaker 1: life trying to live up to somebody else's definition of success, what,
Speaker 1: you know, trying to be somebody else's definition of successful,
Speaker 1: whether it was my parents, whether you know, in some cases,
Speaker 1: even my friends. You know, I have a lot of
Speaker 1: friends who went into law and medicine and management consulting,
Speaker 1: and and you know, I really it wasn't until I
Speaker 1: had that rock bottom moment that I said, you know
Speaker 1: that none of that is working. I can't live for
Speaker 1: someone else. As much as I can be grateful for
Speaker 1: what my parents have done for me, I cannot surrender
Speaker 1: then surrender my own life in service of what they did.
Speaker 1: You know, I have to live for myself. And once
Speaker 1: I made that decision and I focus, and I became
Speaker 1: more I mean honestly became more self centered, became more selfish.
Speaker 1: You know, I felt like a new life started to
Speaker 1: kind of come out of me. And it is to
Speaker 1: this day the best thing that's that's ever happened. What
Speaker 1: are some of your daily, weekly, monthly, yearly habits or
Speaker 1: practices that you've done to kind of build that resilience
Speaker 1: and mindset, because I feel like, you know, it's you've
Speaker 1: you've made that decision, and then, like you said, you
Speaker 1: have to build around that decision. It's not just oh yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna become a movie start, you know, it's it's
Speaker 1: not as basic as that, and it isn't how you
Speaker 1: talk about it either. Talk to us about some of
Speaker 1: those habits practices you spoke about manifestation earlier, Like, tell
Speaker 1: us about some of those concrete examples of things that
Speaker 1: you've done that you think have been really integral to
Speaker 1: getting to where you are today, which I believe is
Speaker 1: truly just the beginning of a whole other journey. But
Speaker 1: you know, you've you've been on this massive journey to
Speaker 1: get here, and I still feel like, you know, there's
Speaker 1: just so much more for you to uncover. I'm sure
Speaker 1: you feel that way, and that's what I fell from
Speaker 1: the book too, Like, but tell us about some of
Speaker 1: the ones that have worked so far. It is so
Speaker 1: important in my line of work specifically, but in all
Speaker 1: lines of work really to identify what is in your
Speaker 1: control and what is not, and if you're going to
Speaker 1: base your success on factors that are outside of your control.
Speaker 1: Then I believe that you are setting yourself up for failure,
Speaker 1: and not the good kind of failure, not the kind
Speaker 1: of failure that you learn from and you evolve from
Speaker 1: and you think critically about, but failure like you know,
Speaker 1: you're gonna just wonder where the time went, and you're
Speaker 1: gonna wonder why you never got your opportunity right. And
Speaker 1: so I know, having an internal locus of control and
Speaker 1: being hyper focused on the things that are within your
Speaker 1: grasp it has been the critical, critical factor of success
Speaker 1: over when I look at the last ten years of
Speaker 1: my life and as an actor, this is so hard
Speaker 1: because so much of you know, career progression for a
Speaker 1: lot of us, on the surface looks like, Okay, we
Speaker 1: go in an acting class, we you know, work on
Speaker 1: our craft, and then we get an agent. And if
Speaker 1: you get an agent, there's this expectation that an agent
Speaker 1: is going to do a lot of the legwork for you,
Speaker 1: is going to set up an audition, it's going to
Speaker 1: help you book a job. And so I feel like
Speaker 1: it's a very dangerous place to be in when you
Speaker 1: start to place when you start to offload that responsibility
Speaker 1: to an agent, to a third party who maybe doesn't
Speaker 1: have your best interest in mind. I mean, that's the
Speaker 1: way it's supposed to work. But an agent is worried
Speaker 1: about so many other things. They might be focused on
Speaker 1: a client that is earning more than you. They might
Speaker 1: just be focused on protecting their own relationships because you
Speaker 1: know what, Actors come and go in the industry. But
Speaker 1: an agent, you know, has relationships with casting directors and
Speaker 1: with studios, and that becomes the more important thing. Those
Speaker 1: are the people that you know, at the end of
Speaker 1: the day, pay them, in my opinion at least, And
Speaker 1: so the idea of for me, of waiting for the
Speaker 1: phone to ring, um for my agent to give me
Speaker 1: my next opportunity, felt like death. And so for me,
Speaker 1: you know, from day one, I had it in my
Speaker 1: mind that I was going to create. I was going
Speaker 1: to be a creator, you know, I was going to
Speaker 1: be m somebody who wasn't just like acting in front
Speaker 1: of a screen. So screenwriting was something that I tried
Speaker 1: to develop in myself very early on. You know, I
Speaker 1: couldn't take a lot of you know, usable skills, I
Speaker 1: couldn't salvage a lot of usable skills from business school.
Speaker 1: But I feel like my writing was maybe one of them,
Speaker 1: and so M you know, I just I just wrote.
Speaker 1: I wrote and wrote and wrote, and I wrote some
Speaker 1: of the worst scripts you'll ever read. But I constantly
Speaker 1: put myself in situations where I could be a more
Speaker 1: self sufficient artist rather than somebody who is dependent. And
Speaker 1: that led me to apply for production you know, conservatories
Speaker 1: and intensives. You know, one of my one of my
Speaker 1: most fulfilling experiences was um with this company called the
Speaker 1: Real Asian International Film Festival in Toronto. And what the
Speaker 1: film festival did every year was they had a filmmaking collective.
Speaker 1: So they accepted, you know, people under twenty five years
Speaker 1: of age, and they basically ran them through um. You
Speaker 1: know what it what it meant to write a script,
Speaker 1: what it meant to crew, you know, to crew a production,
Speaker 1: to find a DP, to you know, take a film
Speaker 1: project from pre production through to principal photography, through a
Speaker 1: post production, how to do basic editing and mix sound
Speaker 1: and from there, I, you know, I really came out
Speaker 1: of it feeling like, Okay, I hold the keys to
Speaker 1: my destiny. Of course, the way that things played out,
Speaker 1: I had a few lucky breaks along the way. There
Speaker 1: is no getting to this level without you know, a
Speaker 1: pretty significant amount of luck. But that being said, you know,
Speaker 1: I have always believed that luck is, you know, where
Speaker 1: where a preparation meets opportunity. I wanted to be as
Speaker 1: prepared as I possibly could be, and so for me,
Speaker 1: that meant, Yeah, that meant doing the things around being
Speaker 1: an actor, you know, whether that was production, whether that
Speaker 1: was screenwriting, or you know, even honestly even doing stunts.
Speaker 1: At one point, I was like a substitute stuntman. I
Speaker 1: wasn't incredible at it, but you know, I was just
Speaker 1: trying to find different ways to diversify my revenue stream
Speaker 1: and to find just paying me to do something in
Speaker 1: the industry, I'll do it. And I feel like, you know,
Speaker 1: people would ask me all the time, but what if
Speaker 1: you don't make it? And my answer I was always like,
Speaker 1: don't you see, I'm making it. I'm making it right now.
Speaker 1: Look at all the stuff that I'm doing. There's you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know whether I'm going to make it as
Speaker 1: an actor or as a as a shooter, or as
Speaker 1: a you know, as a production guy, or even as
Speaker 1: a stuntman. But I've got all these things going for me.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm and I feel like I'm filling up
Speaker 1: my days with meaningful work rather than just waiting and
Speaker 1: waiting for something that I have no control. I love
Speaker 1: hearing that. I'm so glad that you you brought that up,
Speaker 1: because I think so often we get so fixated on
Speaker 1: we get so fixated on I want to do this
Speaker 1: or I want to be this, and if it's not that,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do anything, and that mindset pushes
Speaker 1: that dream away, like you get further and further and
Speaker 1: further away. Because actually, if you're in and around the
Speaker 1: circles of that journey, you get closer and closer and
Speaker 1: closer and closer. And I think that that that switch
Speaker 1: you just made and you've talked about, and to hear
Speaker 1: that you had to do that, I genuinely love hearing that,
Speaker 1: because whenever I'm speaking to someone too, I'll say the
Speaker 1: same thing to them, is like, be around the industry.
Speaker 1: Be in the industry somehow, be in those spaces and
Speaker 1: those rooms, because then it's more then you're closer to
Speaker 1: where you want to be, rather than you're saying, well,
Speaker 1: I only want to be a movie director, but I'm
Speaker 1: not ready to direct an ad or a commercial and
Speaker 1: it's like that doesn't that doesn't work like that, So
Speaker 1: you know, I think that's a huge, huge lesson, amazing advice.
Speaker 1: U Sema, you've been so generous with your time. You've
Speaker 1: been h you've been so kind. I know it's late
Speaker 1: in London. I want everyone to know. Right now, it's
Speaker 1: like seven pm in London, eight hours ahead where Simo
Speaker 1: is right now. So he's been doing this at the
Speaker 1: end of his day, after a busy day, so that
Speaker 1: we can make this happen. I'm in La so our
Speaker 1: gap pleasure even no, no, I want to I just
Speaker 1: want to acknowledge and recognize you man, like I I
Speaker 1: understand how how busy you're working out there. You're not
Speaker 1: you're not there on vacation. And so we end every
Speaker 1: on purpose interview with the final five. And these have
Speaker 1: to be answered in one word or one sentence maximum,
Speaker 1: so you can do one word to one sentence, so
Speaker 1: seem these are your final five. The first question is
Speaker 1: what is the best advice you've ever received or heard?
Speaker 1: Good things come to those who do. Ah, I like
Speaker 1: that nice, We've never had that. It's a great one. Okay.
Speaker 1: Second questions, what is the worst advice you've ever received
Speaker 1: or heard good things come to those who wait. Nice answer,
Speaker 1: all right. Question number three, what's the how would you
Speaker 1: define your current purpose in life? You want to answer
Speaker 1: that a one word or one sentence. Um, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: you get you can play with it, you can be yeah,
Speaker 1: you can be vigo data. You've been good so far,
Speaker 1: You've been like you've been killing these two questions already
Speaker 1: got harder. Um yeah. My current purpose, UM, it's too.
Speaker 1: It's to amplify uh voices of color. It's to champion projects. Um,
Speaker 1: you know, featuring myself or otherwise that I believe, UM
Speaker 1: speak too similar to my book, Um, you know, the
Speaker 1: stories of immigrants, the stories of people who have been
Speaker 1: traditionally underrepresented, who have traditionally not being given a voice,
Speaker 1: and to and to be a living example of you know,
Speaker 1: of of the importance of diversity and the importance of inclusion,
Speaker 1: and not just as an actor, but you know, as
Speaker 1: we've talked about being a multi disciplinary and being a producer,
Speaker 1: you know, and being being somebody who who can really
Speaker 1: affect the way the decisions are made in Hollywood. I
Speaker 1: love that man. All right. Question number four, what's the
Speaker 1: first thing you do in the morning and the last
Speaker 1: thing you do every night. I am so bad with mornings.
Speaker 1: I don't the good morning person. So probably the first
Speaker 1: thing I do in the morning is wish I could
Speaker 1: go back to sleep. Yeah, yeah, that's bad. Um um.
Speaker 1: The last thing I do every night what I I brush?
Speaker 1: I brush my teeth. That's late. Yeah, that's cool. That's
Speaker 1: that's good. Brush brush my teeth. Good. I think about
Speaker 1: I think, I think about my lessons of the day.
Speaker 1: If I have what what what? What did this day
Speaker 1: teach me? Yeah, that's a great one. We never had
Speaker 1: that too. I love that. Uh. Fifth and final question,
Speaker 1: I'll put you out your misery. Fifth and final question.
Speaker 1: If you could create one law or one habit that
Speaker 1: everyone in the world had to follow every day, what
Speaker 1: would it be? Write down the five people that you
Speaker 1: most want to speak to to pick their brain and
Speaker 1: message all five of them. I love that. That's a
Speaker 1: that's a great tip. I never had that before. I
Speaker 1: love that. There there is you know, the one. You know,
Speaker 1: it's like the other part of like the b self,
Speaker 1: you know, be self sufficient, be a creator. Is also
Speaker 1: this recognition that you actually can't do it yourself. Yes,
Speaker 1: and in order for you to be, you know, a
Speaker 1: creative and you have to find the people around you,
Speaker 1: and you have to steal ideas from people that you admire,
Speaker 1: and you have to look at other, you know, ways
Speaker 1: in which people have found success and cross reference against
Speaker 1: at that is so critically important. I feel like for
Speaker 1: sometimes there's a sense, you know, to put for us.
Speaker 1: We maybe romanticize putting blinders on and just saying I'm
Speaker 1: working on mic grind. I don't need anybody else. It's
Speaker 1: just gonna be me. That's never gonna happen. Especially the arts,
Speaker 1: you need to constantly be talking to people that you admire,
Speaker 1: perspectives that you want to hear. You know, that's the
Speaker 1: only way that you learn and that you evolve. This
Speaker 1: has been way longer than one sense. It's a good answer, though,
Speaker 1: it's a good answer. No, it's a good answer, seem
Speaker 1: The book is out. It's called We Were Dreamers, We
Speaker 1: Would Dreamers is the name of the book. Highly recommend
Speaker 1: you go and grab a copy. We will put the
Speaker 1: link in the caption the bio everywhere an immigrant superhero
Speaker 1: origin story. Simulio, it's been so fun talking to you, man.
Speaker 1: I am so grateful that I actually got to do
Speaker 1: this with you because the opportunity to sit down and
Speaker 1: and peruce through your book, the opportunity to sit down
Speaker 1: have this conversation with you. I already respected you so
Speaker 1: much from our meetings and conversations and when we bump
Speaker 1: into each other things. But I genuinely am so happy
Speaker 1: that I've got to learn about your story. I can't
Speaker 1: wait for everyone we just shared, like the tip of
Speaker 1: the iceberg of the stories. Please go grab the book.
Speaker 1: Any final words, any lost messages, anything that's on your
Speaker 1: mind or heart. I'll say this. I'll say this, Um,
Speaker 1: regardless of where your parents came from, what their story is, UM,
Speaker 1: you know you belong, You belong, you belong, and you
Speaker 1: deserve to be to feel proud of where you came from,
Speaker 1: and you deserve to take up space and to be
Speaker 1: unapologetic about it. And you know, for for me, that
Speaker 1: was along. It took a long way for me to
Speaker 1: get there. But UM, you know, if I could, if
Speaker 1: I could leave you with one parting thought, it's it's
Speaker 1: just just feel feel proud, feel proud, and feel like
Speaker 1: you don't don't feel like you have to apologize for
Speaker 1: the color of your skin, language to speak anything. I
Speaker 1: love that. That is a great message to end on. Seema,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Make sure when you're listening and
Speaker 1: watching everyone make sure you tag us both on Instagram,
Speaker 1: on Twitter, on any social media platform you're using, because
Speaker 1: I love to see what resonates with you, what connects
Speaker 1: with you, and please go show that on purpose love
Speaker 1: to see Moon. Make sure he feels the positive energy
Speaker 1: from all of our listeners. Seema, you've been incredible. I
Speaker 1: hope you have an amazing rest of your visit to London,
Speaker 1: my hometown, and I can't wait to hang out with
Speaker 1: you when you're back in La Man. But thank you
Speaker 1: so much for your time today. I really appreciate it.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you. I'm still waiting on your list
Speaker 1: of restaurant recos. Oh yeah, okay, okay, I'll send them
Speaker 1: over right now, all right, Thank you so much,