WEBVTT - Love Ya with Dylan Mulvaney 0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:04.080 Welcome to season four. Everybody. This is season four of 0:00:04.160 --> 0:00:09.240 Dear Chelsea. Thank you for helping make us a sweet success. Okay, 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:14.680 hello Catherine, Hi Chelsea, Hi, what's well? My god? Season four, 0:00:14.840 --> 0:00:16.120 so many things have happened. 0:00:16.360 --> 0:00:16.640 I know. 0:00:16.720 --> 0:00:19.279 I feel like these little communities are for me. People 0:00:19.280 --> 0:00:21.279 are reaching out to each other. I can't tell you 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:24.880 how many times somebody will hear someone call in and 0:00:24.920 --> 0:00:27.040 they contact me and they'll be like, listen, I have 0:00:27.080 --> 0:00:29.080 the perfect solution for them, or I can connect them 0:00:29.120 --> 0:00:31.160 with someone who can help them. And so I passed 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:34.680 their little email along and it's just really wonderful. 0:00:35.320 --> 0:00:37.920 I wish Bernice could call in. Oh my dog, I 0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:39.559 wish she could call in because I want to know 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:43.199 what's on her mind. All I know is all I 0:00:43.240 --> 0:00:46.760 know is I love her. Ever since Bert passed away, 0:00:47.680 --> 0:00:51.000 Slash got put down only because it was the end 0:00:51.000 --> 0:00:52.960 of the road, not because I wanted to get rid 0:00:53.000 --> 0:00:55.279 of him. Can you imagine if he pissed me off 0:00:55.280 --> 0:00:59.320 and I just put him down Anyway, Bernice has been 0:00:59.480 --> 0:01:03.120 a eat hert. Just the last night she was in bed. 0:01:03.400 --> 0:01:05.640 I usually have to force her up into my bed, 0:01:05.680 --> 0:01:07.720 which I had to stop doing because she had this 0:01:07.760 --> 0:01:10.320 really wicked cough. And I say wicked because I'm from 0:01:10.360 --> 0:01:13.080 Boston and the Boston area, but she had this really 0:01:13.080 --> 0:01:15.120 wicked cough and I was like, God, is she getting 0:01:15.160 --> 0:01:17.679 like second hand smoke from all my joints? And then 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:19.560 I was like, is she smoking her own joints? 0:01:19.640 --> 0:01:19.800 Yeah? 0:01:19.880 --> 0:01:22.680 And then I sent her the doctor and they kept giving 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:25.800 her cough medicine, cough medicine, and cough pills, and I 0:01:25.880 --> 0:01:27.600 was like, it's not a cough, it's deeper than that. 0:01:28.000 --> 0:01:30.560 So then we took her to another VET and they 0:01:30.640 --> 0:01:34.200 found out that she has a collapsed trachea, which they 0:01:34.360 --> 0:01:37.760 kind of intimated. Carla, my assistant, kind of tried to 0:01:37.800 --> 0:01:39.800 make it like it was my fault for picking her 0:01:39.880 --> 0:01:42.280 up her whole life. And I told Carla to just 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:44.360 take it down a notch and shut the front door, 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:47.080 because that I don't pick her up by her fucking throat, 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:50.880 first of all. Secondly, so now when I go up, 0:01:51.000 --> 0:01:52.840 she goes up to doggy stairs, I put a leash 0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:55.040 on her. I guide her up, you know, to trapper 0:01:55.600 --> 0:01:58.920 like a lobster. But now last night and this has 0:01:58.960 --> 0:02:01.800 been happening. Yeah, she when I come back for my tour, 0:02:01.880 --> 0:02:04.360 weekends because you know, I've been on my tour. I 0:02:04.440 --> 0:02:06.640 come back and she comes, I guide her up the 0:02:06.640 --> 0:02:09.639 steps and she doesn't go down. Now, oh, she woke 0:02:09.720 --> 0:02:11.520 up like three times last night and she was like. 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:13.120 I was like, I put the light on so she 0:02:13.160 --> 0:02:15.000 could see the steps so she could go down, you know, 0:02:15.040 --> 0:02:17.040 to her doggy bed. But then she just looked at me, 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:19.640 circled back around, dug her feet in, and went back 0:02:19.680 --> 0:02:22.239 to sleep. So she's been sleeping with me through the night, 0:02:22.320 --> 0:02:25.680 which is I've never ever had this experience. When Bert 0:02:25.720 --> 0:02:28.640 was alive, nice and you know, she again, like any 0:02:28.680 --> 0:02:31.880 marginalized woman, she has been marginalized. And since Bert is 0:02:31.919 --> 0:02:37.200 gone and he required so much attention and cuteness and neediness. 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:39.440 They get like mad at you, they get I think. 0:02:39.320 --> 0:02:43.120 Mimsy's like still mad at me, me specifically forgetting these 0:02:43.160 --> 0:02:43.799 two puppies. 0:02:44.240 --> 0:02:46.800 She forget mad at you, and I won't. I was 0:02:46.840 --> 0:02:48.280 I was like, oh, I got to get another puppy 0:02:48.280 --> 0:02:50.160 because I like to have two. But I'm going to 0:02:50.200 --> 0:02:54.280 wait until the fall a because that's irresponsible because I'm 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:55.960 going to be traveling a lot during the summer and 0:02:56.000 --> 0:02:58.760 be I want this time alone with my daughter. Now 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:00.760 I understand it's true. 0:03:00.800 --> 0:03:03.440 Like I definitely feel I have a lot of like 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:06.440 mother's guilt of I'm not spending enough time with Mimsy 0:03:06.560 --> 0:03:08.560 and now that the puppies are like the squeaky wheels 0:03:08.560 --> 0:03:11.600 in my face all the time. So I'm working on that, 0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:14.239 like taking her frextra walks, giving her actual love, which 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:16.280 she like also sometimes doesn't want because she's like, I 0:03:16.400 --> 0:03:18.239 just want to like snuggle you, I don't want you 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:19.160 to snuggle me back. 0:03:19.320 --> 0:03:19.959 She's very that. 0:03:20.240 --> 0:03:22.800 Oh really, yeah, she like wants to be like between 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:25.320 your legs, but like she won't be in your front nook. 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:26.399 She won't be spooned. 0:03:26.720 --> 0:03:31.240 She doesn't have a hook. Oh my god, front, she 0:03:31.320 --> 0:03:35.160 can't be in your front nook. Now translation under your 0:03:35.280 --> 0:03:39.920 arm everyone, exactly. You didn't see Catherine's gesticulation, so to 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:43.760 understand exactly what that meant. Yeah, but I appreciate the 0:03:43.760 --> 0:03:46.360 one on one time and she's so sweet Bernice, and 0:03:46.440 --> 0:03:48.080 I just love her so much, and I'm just so 0:03:48.120 --> 0:03:51.760 grateful that I have dogs. In other non knin news, 0:03:51.800 --> 0:03:54.680 I got these glasses, these progressive glasses. I got about 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:58.280 six pair maid three sunglasses and three regular glasses. And 0:03:58.760 --> 0:04:00.840 the guy explained to me that the top part is 0:04:00.840 --> 0:04:03.760 for to see distance, the middle part is to see intermediate. 0:04:03.880 --> 0:04:06.360 I'm like, what the fuck is intermediate? And the bottom 0:04:06.360 --> 0:04:08.400 part is for a close up. But when I sit 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:11.200 on a plane, if I look down the print on 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:13.600 the book because I like to read on my plane rides, yeah, 0:04:13.640 --> 0:04:15.480 I have to hold my head in a certain way 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:19.400 so that it makes the print readable. Yeah. And I 0:04:19.400 --> 0:04:21.520 don't like these. And a lot of people warn me 0:04:21.560 --> 0:04:23.839 about these, and I'm going to take them all back 0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:26.080 and have them. I want bifocals, is what I want. 0:04:26.160 --> 0:04:27.240 Yeah, just two, not three. 0:04:27.520 --> 0:04:29.920 I don't need three compartments. And by the way, he 0:04:30.000 --> 0:04:31.720 was like, oh, I put a prescription on the top. 0:04:31.720 --> 0:04:33.320 I go, there is no prescription on the top. I've 0:04:33.360 --> 0:04:35.840 had lasik And he said, no, there's a light prescription. 0:04:35.920 --> 0:04:38.159 And I'm like, I don't think that there is. So 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:41.120 I mean, I guess ophthalmologists are right up there with 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:44.040 veterinarians in my book. Yeah. They don't seem to have 0:04:44.480 --> 0:04:48.560 a real concrete answer to anything. Everything's vague. Why would 0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:52.240 you need intermediate seeing? Like between distance and short sighted? 0:04:52.279 --> 0:04:54.800 Why do you need to see another subthence. 0:04:54.480 --> 0:04:57.400 There famously have only been two for a very long time. 0:04:57.520 --> 0:05:00.919 Yea, so I guess people don't like the line in 0:05:00.960 --> 0:05:03.200 the bifocal. I don't give a shit, though, I mean 0:05:03.320 --> 0:05:05.599 I'm gonna be how old are I forty eight? I 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:07.560 mean at a certain point, I just have to give up. 0:05:07.960 --> 0:05:10.880 Yeah, Brad had that happened once where he went to 0:05:10.920 --> 0:05:15.160 a new optometrist and this guy was like, no, no, 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:18.440 I know your real prescription. All of the doctors you've 0:05:18.440 --> 0:05:20.360 been seeing for the last fifteen years are wrong. 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:23.039 That's like when you get your bras fitted. You know, 0:05:23.200 --> 0:05:26.000 someone's like, oh, these are the brods. This is gonna 0:05:26.000 --> 0:05:27.919 be the bra that fits you, and it is for 0:05:28.000 --> 0:05:29.919 the first twenty minutes, and then after you wear it, 0:05:30.000 --> 0:05:31.760 you're like, no, my tits look like what. 0:05:31.760 --> 0:05:32.560 Are these cones? 0:05:32.760 --> 0:05:32.960 Yeah? 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:36.320 Yeah, forties? Look where my tits look pointy? Yeah? 0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:38.680 And you just get stabbed in weird spots and it's 0:05:38.720 --> 0:05:39.120 no good. 0:05:39.480 --> 0:05:41.479 I don't know about bro fitting, but definitely I've been 0:05:41.520 --> 0:05:44.479 wearing glasses since like third grade. And this doctor was like, oh, hey, 0:05:44.480 --> 0:05:47.160 you know what your prescription. Let your eyes do the work. 0:05:47.240 --> 0:05:49.200 Let your eyes work for it. And then he gave 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:51.760 me this prescription that was less so everything was blurry 0:05:51.760 --> 0:05:53.880 and I had to like squint it everything that doesn't 0:05:53.880 --> 0:05:54.640 make any fucking sense. 0:05:54.720 --> 0:05:56.880 Yeh, work for what? And then also, you know my 0:05:56.960 --> 0:06:01.000 favorite book, Letting Go by David Hawkings. In it, he 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:03.599 talks about letting go of the fact that you can't 0:06:03.640 --> 0:06:07.159 see and just not wearing glasses and that his vision 0:06:07.240 --> 0:06:09.719 miraculously came back to him. So I try that for 0:06:09.760 --> 0:06:13.719 about a month not to not That's the only section 0:06:13.760 --> 0:06:15.320 of the book. I'm like, listen, buddy, I don't know 0:06:15.320 --> 0:06:16.800 what kind of magic you're working. 0:06:16.920 --> 0:06:18.840 You guys are just like bootstrapping your eyes. 0:06:19.040 --> 0:06:21.719 My corny is just going to repair itself because I've 0:06:21.720 --> 0:06:25.559 decided to let go. If you believe enough, it will. 0:06:26.240 --> 0:06:29.280 But I am in a great meditation zone. Yes, yeah, 0:06:29.320 --> 0:06:32.240 I'm really feeling my meditations lately. I do that. I've 0:06:32.240 --> 0:06:34.400 been doing my Chopra app and I do these courses, 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:36.320 but you know, sometimes you don't really feel it. You 0:06:36.400 --> 0:06:38.240 just feel like you're sitting there thinking. But I'm really 0:06:38.320 --> 0:06:42.159 able to like stop my thoughts and I'm like going 0:06:42.200 --> 0:06:46.279 to this like place, like this light place. It's very reliable, 0:06:46.279 --> 0:06:48.640 and now I'm craving it. I mean, this has been 0:06:48.760 --> 0:06:51.120 I don't know how many years I've been meditating, probably 0:06:51.200 --> 0:06:54.120 like four or five now, but it's been great. But 0:06:54.520 --> 0:06:56.600 I'm in a zone right now and I'm liking it 0:06:56.640 --> 0:06:57.080 a lot. 0:06:57.240 --> 0:07:00.680 Do you what's it called when you can like cast 0:07:00.760 --> 0:07:02.279 your spirit somewhere else. 0:07:02.400 --> 0:07:04.400 That's what I feel like. That's what you're doing, Like 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:05.480 I'm not in my body. 0:07:05.640 --> 0:07:06.479 Astral projection. 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:10.480 Yes, astral projection. Is that about my asshole? 0:07:11.240 --> 0:07:12.560 That's exactly what it is. 0:07:12.640 --> 0:07:15.280 Astral projection. Well, that's what I think I'm doing anyway, 0:07:15.320 --> 0:07:17.160 Who knows if that's what I'm doing, But it feels 0:07:17.200 --> 0:07:18.920 like I'm not in my body, like I'm in some 0:07:19.280 --> 0:07:22.280 light filled atmosphere with my mom and my brother. They're 0:07:22.280 --> 0:07:23.559 always with me, so that's fine. 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:25.760 I love that visit them anytime. 0:07:25.920 --> 0:07:28.880 Yeah, I picture my mom like a little nimph flying around, 0:07:29.240 --> 0:07:31.680 like a little sphinx or Noah sphinx or nymph a 0:07:31.760 --> 0:07:35.360 fairy very It's like that Greek mythology thing, like when 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:38.320 they fly around and bright yeaes spright. That's what I 0:07:38.320 --> 0:07:38.600 think of. 0:07:39.800 --> 0:07:42.320 And Chelsea, you're about to be traveling a bunch and 0:07:42.400 --> 0:07:43.000 I have. 0:07:43.120 --> 0:07:45.520 Just announced new stand updates for My Little Big Bitch 0:07:45.560 --> 0:07:48.920 tour guys, I announced twenty five new cities. These are 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:51.720 probably a lot of the cities people have been mentioning 0:07:51.800 --> 0:07:55.280 in the comments. I start out in East Hampton, I 0:07:55.320 --> 0:08:01.840 go to New York, d C. During North Carolina, La, Phoenix, Cleveland, Columbus, Pittsburgh, Millwalky, Chicago, Madison, Portland, 0:08:02.160 --> 0:08:05.400 to name just some. I will be performing at the 0:08:05.480 --> 0:08:09.400 Kennedy Center everybody that's in DC October sixth. I'm super 0:08:09.440 --> 0:08:12.360 psyched to be performing there. There are more. You can 0:08:12.360 --> 0:08:15.880 go to Chelseahandler dot com. I am on tour. I 0:08:16.040 --> 0:08:19.000 have dates coming up for the next three months and 0:08:19.040 --> 0:08:21.440 then more dates coming up in the fall. So those 0:08:21.440 --> 0:08:23.680 have all been announced. They're on my Instagram page, or 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:25.560 you can go to Chelsea Hamler dot com. Thank you 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:29.360 our first guest of season four, someone who has been 0:08:29.480 --> 0:08:32.440 getting a ton of attention because she has been very 0:08:32.480 --> 0:08:36.920 loud and proud about her transition into girlhood and I 0:08:36.960 --> 0:08:40.400 am loving it up and I'm loving her Instagram. So 0:08:40.640 --> 0:08:45.440 please welcome Dylan mulvaney. Hi, Dylan Mulvaaney in person and 0:08:45.640 --> 0:08:47.040 looking beautiful as ever. 0:08:47.280 --> 0:08:48.680 Thank you, Chelsea Handler. 0:08:49.040 --> 0:08:50.560 So excited to finally meet you. 0:08:50.679 --> 0:08:52.240 Oh my god, I got to tell you, this is 0:08:52.240 --> 0:08:55.000 a full circle moment. I grew up when I was 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:57.840 about thirteen, fourteen years old, this you know, gay boy 0:08:57.920 --> 0:08:58.600 pre transition. 0:08:59.520 --> 0:08:59.840 I was. 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:01.720 I had a friend group called the Harlot's and it 0:09:01.760 --> 0:09:04.600 was me and a bunch of girls, bad bitches, and 0:09:04.600 --> 0:09:06.880 we used to pass your books around and that's how 0:09:06.920 --> 0:09:10.520 we learned about sex. Oh and and so I texted 0:09:10.520 --> 0:09:12.200 them all. It had been a while since i've you know, 0:09:12.280 --> 0:09:13.839 talked with them, but I said, You're never going to 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:17.120 believe what I'm going to see today. So I just 0:09:17.200 --> 0:09:19.079 really it's it's a very full circle moment. 0:09:19.360 --> 0:09:22.440 Well, I'm so glad to hear that Dylan has gained 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:25.720 a lot of notoriety and popularity on her TikTok series 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:27.320 Becoming a Girl or is it Being a Girl? 0:09:27.559 --> 0:09:28.320 Days of Girlhood? 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:29.079 Days of Girlhood. 0:09:29.120 --> 0:09:31.360 We just hit day three sixty five a few weeks ago. 0:09:31.440 --> 0:09:33.320 Yeah, and you had a big celebrate. 0:09:33.320 --> 0:09:37.000 I did a big show musical Baby, I'm Broadway singing, 0:09:37.080 --> 0:09:38.000 dancing and acting. 0:09:38.240 --> 0:09:41.079 Oh my god, talk about a full circle moment. Yes, 0:09:41.640 --> 0:09:43.680 So I want to ask you so many questions, but 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:47.559 let's just start about gaining the confidence and the self 0:09:47.559 --> 0:09:51.240 assuredness to follow your pursuit of becoming the real person 0:09:51.280 --> 0:09:52.040 that you wanted to be. 0:09:52.280 --> 0:09:55.520 Absolutely, when I was four years old, I came to 0:09:55.520 --> 0:09:59.160 my mom and I said, Mom, I think I'm a girl. 0:09:59.640 --> 0:10:03.560 And you know, we grew up very Catholic, very conservative. 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:05.000 And so where'd you grow up? 0:10:05.120 --> 0:10:08.000 The outskirts of San Diego, Okay, and a little town 0:10:08.040 --> 0:10:11.360 called Alpine. And I was a boy in a dance 0:10:11.360 --> 0:10:14.160 studio at age three, you know, only boy there dancing, 0:10:14.240 --> 0:10:15.920 and and but I came to my mom and I 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:18.240 said this, and she said, well, God doesn't make mistakes. 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:20.720 And this was the year two thousand and so there 0:10:20.760 --> 0:10:23.440 really weren't many resources at all, except you know, the 0:10:23.440 --> 0:10:26.440 only transness we got to see was a sex worker 0:10:26.480 --> 0:10:29.440 on NCIS that had been hurt. You know, we hadn't 0:10:29.520 --> 0:10:34.959 seen trans people experiencing success or happiness or you know. 0:10:35.280 --> 0:10:39.840 It was I don't resent my family or even myself 0:10:39.840 --> 0:10:43.320 for not allowing me to become this woman that I 0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:46.120 am now, because this was all part of the journey. 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:50.959 And finally, you know, these those gender thoughts, I pushed 0:10:50.960 --> 0:10:55.120 them away because when I was starting to discover my sexuality, 0:10:55.160 --> 0:10:58.560 which is a different thing than gender, I thought that 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:01.520 being gay was that the end of the world. I thought, really, 0:11:01.520 --> 0:11:04.240 it doesn't, you know, it can't get any worse. And 0:11:04.280 --> 0:11:07.360 so transnis wasn't even allowed to be in my mind. 0:11:08.040 --> 0:11:10.679 And so I came out as gay at fourteen. 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:13.120 But when you said to your mother that you were four, 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:15.520 When you were four, you said, I feel I feel 0:11:15.559 --> 0:11:17.840 like I'm a girl, and and she just was like, 0:11:17.880 --> 0:11:19.319 God doesn't make any mistakes. And that was it. 0:11:19.400 --> 0:11:21.240 We did some you know, I went to some therapy 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:24.200 and again a very different time, so I'm not resentful 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:27.400 at all, right, But it was then at the pandemic, 0:11:27.480 --> 0:11:29.720 I was touring with a Broadway musical called The Book 0:11:29.720 --> 0:11:30.520 of Mormon. 0:11:30.800 --> 0:11:33.520 And ironic it's wild. 0:11:33.960 --> 0:11:36.880 But I was spent my whole life, you know, doing theater, 0:11:37.000 --> 0:11:40.920 playing these male roles, and there was no room even 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:43.760 in that industry to be trans and so once the 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:45.920 pandemic hit, it was the first time that I didn't 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:48.240 even have to see myself playing a part. I was like, 0:11:48.280 --> 0:11:52.439 who is Dylan really without theater and religion and all 0:11:52.520 --> 0:11:55.880 these things that had been put on me. And I 0:11:56.040 --> 0:11:58.880 was a really feminine little boy growing up, and I 0:11:58.920 --> 0:12:02.800 felt like I stripped parts of myself away for so 0:12:02.920 --> 0:12:06.560 many years that I'm now finding again, and I think 0:12:06.559 --> 0:12:10.880 that's been the most beautiful part, is getting to finally 0:12:10.880 --> 0:12:14.640 give into those those feelings and those desires and those 0:12:14.679 --> 0:12:17.840 outfits and whatever it might be that brings me euphoria. 0:12:18.400 --> 0:12:23.000 But during the pandemic, I was like, Okay, let's reopen 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:27.439 that question of gender and I identified as non binary 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:30.280 for about a year went by. They then pronouns, and 0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:32.440 it still was not where I was supposed to be, 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:35.400 and I think it was so daunting making that jump 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:40.200 from being a man to then that trans woman title 0:12:40.280 --> 0:12:43.240 scared the shit out of me. And it's so funny. 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:45.120 I don't usually curse, but I'm around you and I 0:12:45.160 --> 0:12:46.559 kind of feel like I want to let this a 0:12:46.559 --> 0:12:50.520 little bit happens, but you have that influence. I thought, 0:12:50.559 --> 0:12:53.920 you know, non binary moment of my life was kind 0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:55.760 of this little cloud that I got to land on 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:58.920 for a hot second, and it was not the end 0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:03.280 of my my journey. That's when I finally accepted. Actually, 0:13:03.280 --> 0:13:06.320 I started hormones while I was non binary to you know, 0:13:06.360 --> 0:13:10.319 feminize my body, and then I took on that sheep 0:13:10.360 --> 0:13:12.040 pronoun and it feels so good. 0:13:13.880 --> 0:13:16.120 I'm so happy to hear that you followed, you were 0:13:16.160 --> 0:13:19.160 able to pursue what you felt was necessary to be 0:13:19.160 --> 0:13:22.120 a complete human being. And I think what people's resistances 0:13:22.600 --> 0:13:27.840 to transgender people, to the whole LGBTQII community is that 0:13:27.880 --> 0:13:31.040 it's different from what they know, and anything that's different 0:13:31.040 --> 0:13:33.720 than what anybody knows is scares them for some reason, 0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:36.200 because it's the same reason people want to hold onto 0:13:36.240 --> 0:13:39.320 power and don't want to give equality to everybody because 0:13:39.360 --> 0:13:42.360 they're scared of what they may lose and their lack 0:13:42.400 --> 0:13:45.720 of understanding. Instead of looking at it as a huge 0:13:46.080 --> 0:13:49.240 growth opportunity to be like, oh my God, tell me everything. 0:13:49.600 --> 0:13:53.079 I want to understand you better. Right, it doesn't come. 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:54.679 At the front well, and they you know, a lot 0:13:54.720 --> 0:13:56.760 of people don't have a Dylan in their lives to 0:13:57.480 --> 0:13:59.560 ask questions. And I think that's kind of why I 0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:02.880 got online too, was because I wanted to be that 0:14:03.040 --> 0:14:05.840 friend for people. I wanted to show that I'm not 0:14:06.000 --> 0:14:09.600 some monster. And it's sad that there are still so 0:14:09.679 --> 0:14:13.000 many people that are trying to use this really beautiful 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:16.440 journey against me and twisting my words and taking things 0:14:16.440 --> 0:14:18.760 out of context. But at the end of the day, 0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:23.560 like I'm happier than I ever have been because I could. 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:27.760 I can't imagine going back to that other person. It 0:14:27.920 --> 0:14:29.280 breaks my heart to think about. 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:33.240 Hmm, yeah, I would imagine. So so how do you 0:14:33.360 --> 0:14:35.800 reconcile that? Like when you look back at your former 0:14:35.880 --> 0:14:40.480 life before you became a woman, how do you frame 0:14:40.520 --> 0:14:41.160 that time? 0:14:41.520 --> 0:14:41.760 You know? 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:44.840 I try to actually think about it in a very 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:48.280 positive I always do glass half full. Everything that has 0:14:48.320 --> 0:14:51.040 happened before transition that was supposed to happen, that was 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:55.200 part of my story. I was learning things and now 0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:57.360 I feel like now it's all icing on the cake 0:14:57.400 --> 0:15:00.440 because I actually got to the cake finally. But I 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:03.760 just I don't want to ever resent. You know, there 0:15:04.240 --> 0:15:08.400 are sometimes the mindset of like every day before you 0:15:08.400 --> 0:15:12.000 know I came out was absolutely horrible. But no, I 0:15:12.040 --> 0:15:13.800 had some good times in my life, but I just 0:15:13.960 --> 0:15:17.520 hadn't entered my full potential at all. You know, when 0:15:17.560 --> 0:15:19.600 you're locked into yourself right and you're like, oh, this 0:15:19.760 --> 0:15:22.720 is who I am. This feels right. My intuition has 0:15:22.760 --> 0:15:27.440 never been more alive within myself. So I'm just I'm 0:15:27.480 --> 0:15:28.480 trying to stay strong. 0:15:28.880 --> 0:15:31.640 Yeah, yeah, and you will be strong. You're already strong. 0:15:31.720 --> 0:15:33.160 Thank you, you know, and there's always going to be 0:15:33.160 --> 0:15:35.160 bumps in the road and things will happen that will 0:15:35.160 --> 0:15:37.680 feel like you're getting off course. But it's up to 0:15:37.760 --> 0:15:40.280 you to remain steadfast and true to who you are 0:15:40.640 --> 0:15:42.920 and to follow your truth because your truth is unlike 0:15:42.920 --> 0:15:46.400 anyone else's and people have an easy time forgetting that. 0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:48.640 I want to talk a little bit about what it 0:15:48.760 --> 0:15:54.680 takes to actually transition, because that is another argument for 0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:59.280 the reason that people wouldn't be doing it. It's not easy. 0:15:59.320 --> 0:16:02.040 It's not easy to transition. It's not easy to change 0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:04.240 your sex that you were born with or to feel 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:06.520 like you're not the person that you were meant to be. 0:16:07.200 --> 0:16:08.800 So talk to me a little bit about that. 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:09.640 Well. 0:16:10.480 --> 0:16:13.840 I really get upset when people say, you know, she 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:16.000 woke up one day and just decided she wanted to 0:16:16.040 --> 0:16:19.480 be a girl, Like this was not a decision, This 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:22.880 was who every fiber of my being. And I put 0:16:22.880 --> 0:16:25.160 in a lot of frickin' effort and a lot of 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:29.760 you know, mental gymnastics, a lot of therapy, a lot 0:16:29.840 --> 0:16:34.240 of soul searching to do this, and it is something 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:37.520 that I don't take lightly. I think that this journey 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:39.640 that I'm on you know, going on hormones. Those were 0:16:39.680 --> 0:16:42.880 all huge decisions that I had to make and very 0:16:42.920 --> 0:16:47.360 private ones. And while you know, every transition looks completely different, 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:50.479 you know, there are trans people that aren't on hormones 0:16:50.600 --> 0:16:53.240 or that might choose not to get surgeries. But for 0:16:53.360 --> 0:16:55.800 those of us who need those things for our dysphoria, 0:16:56.280 --> 0:16:58.360 we need access to them and that we can't be 0:16:58.480 --> 0:17:01.240 vilified for needing those things. 0:17:01.720 --> 0:17:06.040 Right, And you recently had facial feminization, right, oh babe, 0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:10.480 I feel it's good, right, yeah, yeah, beautiful. 0:17:10.600 --> 0:17:15.000 And my biggest thing about sharing that process online was 0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:17.640 that I didn't want people to see it as plastic surgery. 0:17:17.960 --> 0:17:19.959 I needed them to know that this is like an 0:17:20.000 --> 0:17:24.000 affirming surgery that can change lives and possibly save lives. 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:27.840 And it was so wild to look in the mirror 0:17:27.920 --> 0:17:30.199 and see what I imagined for the you know, for 0:17:30.240 --> 0:17:33.679 the first time, to kind of it was just a 0:17:33.720 --> 0:17:36.960 soften of my features. I didn't look totally different, but 0:17:37.200 --> 0:17:41.680 a very emotional experience. And I do think like there's 0:17:41.760 --> 0:17:45.760 power in sharing a story so that people can get 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:47.200 like a little look. 0:17:47.040 --> 0:17:50.119 In absolutely, I mean, that's what you're doing is freeing 0:17:50.160 --> 0:17:52.439 other people when you share your story. You're giving license 0:17:52.480 --> 0:17:54.600 to other people to share their stories and to follow 0:17:54.640 --> 0:17:57.040 their dreams. How many surgeries have you had to have 0:17:57.080 --> 0:17:57.520 thus far? 0:17:58.000 --> 0:18:01.639 So it's it's funny, like there's really no rulebook to 0:18:01.880 --> 0:18:05.399 how transitions go. And again it's like you can, you know, 0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:08.120 sort of pick and choose what it is based on 0:18:08.200 --> 0:18:12.119 your euphoria and dysphoria. So you know that was because 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:13.960 I'm so in the public eye right now. I knew 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:15.520 that that was one of the first things that I 0:18:15.560 --> 0:18:17.960 wanted to do, since I am so on display and 0:18:18.040 --> 0:18:22.919 I was feeling so self conscious and very upset about 0:18:23.080 --> 0:18:27.600 my features. But now I'm actually I think I'm going 0:18:27.680 --> 0:18:29.320 to take a little bit of a step back about 0:18:29.320 --> 0:18:33.240 talking about my physical transition, because, first of all, that 0:18:33.280 --> 0:18:35.359 word influencer scares the shit out of me, because I 0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:39.119 don't want to influence anyone to do anything. But I 0:18:39.160 --> 0:18:41.800 don't want other trans people, especially young trans people, to 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:44.000 feel like they have to do something in a order 0:18:44.040 --> 0:18:46.480 to be trans. And so while I do have other 0:18:46.560 --> 0:18:50.120