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Speaker 1: To learn how to walk again is one of the

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Speaker 1: most beautiful, most incredible gifts that I so wish we

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Speaker 1: all had. I wish that we all had memories of

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Speaker 1: learning how to walk. Like if I could grant this

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Speaker 1: world that, I think we would all just be a

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Speaker 1: hell of a lot more grateful.

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Speaker 2: Hey everyone, Emily Abani here, you are listening to a

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Speaker 2: special week of content here on Hurdle called Running Through

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Speaker 2: with Global Running Day on Wednesday, June first. It's only

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Speaker 2: fitting that we wrap up season nine and celebrate all

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Speaker 2: week by bringing five back to back episodes to the feed.

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Speaker 2: You guys, you know the deal. Here on the show,

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Speaker 2: I am dedicated to bringing Hurdler's content that encompasses all

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Speaker 2: that is well illness. Still running holds a really special

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Speaker 2: place in my heart. While I originally leaned into running

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Speaker 2: as a weight loss tool back in college, it has

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Speaker 2: turned into a passion of mine helping me personally get

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Speaker 2: through a ton of difficult hurdle moments and ten marathons

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Speaker 2: later become a happier, healthier version of myself. This week,

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Speaker 2: I am talking with other inspiring women who have also

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Speaker 2: turned to running during some of life's biggest, darkest hurdles,

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Speaker 2: we get vulnerable, talking about tough topics like loss and grief,

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Speaker 2: depression and postpartum depression, and how running in sport has

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Speaker 2: helped them persevere, rediscover their self worth, and move forward

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Speaker 2: with their head held high. To kick things off, I

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Speaker 2: am welcoming at twenty thirteen Boston Marathon bombing survivor Adrian

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Speaker 2: Haslett to the show. In today's episode, we talk about

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Speaker 2: how she turned one of the worst days of her

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Speaker 2: life into something positive, refusing to be called a victim.

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Speaker 2: Before that awful day, the then professional ballroom dancer didn't

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Speaker 2: know much at the time about the sport of running,

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Speaker 2: but these days, well, there's hardly a day that goes

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Speaker 2: by where she doesn't lace up her sneakers. In today's episode,

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Speaker 2: she talks about what it was like for her to

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Speaker 2: come to sport as an adaptive athlete and recalls her

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Speaker 2: vivid memories of frightening twenty thirteen day. She shares what

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Speaker 2: it was like to meet her as she calls him

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Speaker 2: superhero Surgeon, and reflects on what it was like to

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Speaker 2: learn how to walk again, saying that if we all

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Speaker 2: had that experience as an adult, we may be better

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Speaker 2: more compassionate people. Of course, she talks to us about

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Speaker 2: getting into running and shares what it felt like to

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Speaker 2: slay and I'll use that word slay twenty two Boston

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Speaker 2: Marathon a huge accomplishment for her, her second ever alongside

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Speaker 2: the Goat Saline Flanagan in five hours, eighteen minutes and

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Speaker 2: forty one seconds. So this episode is full of hope

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Speaker 2: and a beautiful, beautiful through line that where there is

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Speaker 2: a will, there is a way. I have to give

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Speaker 2: a huge, huge thanks to my sponsor for this week

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Speaker 2: of content, and that sponsor is Tracksmith. Tracksmith, as you

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Speaker 2: may know, is a brand for runners inspired by a

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Speaker 2: deep love for the sport. They craft incredible gear for training, racing,

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Speaker 2: and rest days, and create experiences that make running more rewarding,

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Speaker 2: more connected, and more meaningful. There's summer collection features pieces

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Speaker 2: that seem to disappear while you're running to comfortable short

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Speaker 2: tights that can carry all of your long run fuel,

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Speaker 2: these are staples that will work as hard as you do.

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Speaker 2: Explore their collections and stories at tracksmith dot com and

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Speaker 2: use the code Hurdle twenty two for free shipping. Now,

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Speaker 2: this is really special to me. Tracksmith is working with

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Speaker 2: me to support an organization that I feel passionately about,

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Speaker 2: especially after the awful massacre last week in a Valdi,

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Speaker 2: Texas at rob Elementary. And that organization is every Town.

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Speaker 2: For every order that is purchased on tracksmth dot com

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Speaker 2: using the code Hurdle twenty two, Tracksmith will donate five

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Speaker 2: percent of all sales to every Town. Now, for those

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Speaker 2: of you who don't know, Every Town is an organization

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Speaker 2: that advocates for gun control and against gun violence. I'm

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Speaker 2: so grateful to Tracksmith for partnering with me on this

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Speaker 2: and again, that code for anyone to do some good

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Speaker 2: and get free shipping over on tracksmith dot com is

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Speaker 2: Hurdle twenty two. Make sure you're following along with hurdle

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Speaker 2: over on the socials. It's at Herbal podcast. I am

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Speaker 2: over at Emily a Body And with that, let's get

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Speaker 2: to hurdling today. I am sitting down with Adrian Haslitt.

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Speaker 2: She is a runner, a Boston bombing survivor. I am

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Speaker 2: so excited to be here with you. A keynote speaker

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Speaker 2: what's going on? Adrian?

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Speaker 3: Hi, how are you? I'm so excited to be here.

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Speaker 2: I love any podcast recording that starts with really exciting.

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Speaker 3: Vibes like this, SA same.

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Speaker 1: I've been looking forward to talking with you. I'm a

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Speaker 1: fan of your podcast and I'm just happy to be here.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, of course, well so happy to have you

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Speaker 2: here as a part of this special series week here

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Speaker 2: on Hurdle called Running Through. I would have been I

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Speaker 2: don't even know what I would have been a fool

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Speaker 2: not to reach out to you, to have you come

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Speaker 2: on the show and share parts of your story with

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Speaker 2: the Hurdlers during this week of talk looking through using sport,

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Speaker 2: the sport that you and I both loved so much

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Speaker 2: to overcome challenging times, and you, as I mentioned at

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Speaker 2: the top of this running Through, a Boston bombing survivor

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Speaker 2: who didn't run before her incident. So that was a

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Speaker 2: big wind up intro. I want to hear about what

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Speaker 2: life was like for you before twenty thirteen. Let's start there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, gosh, before twenty thirteen, I was a professional ballroom

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Speaker 1: dancer as a career. So a lot of people don't

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Speaker 1: see that as an athletic sport, but gosh, dancing so

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Speaker 1: is I was training and teaching and practicing pro twelve

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Speaker 1: hours a day and getting dressed up in Ostrich feathers

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Speaker 1: and sequence and Swarsky crystals every weekend or sometimes every night,

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Speaker 1: and performing and competing all over and it was just

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Speaker 1: a blast. It was so much fun. But it really does.

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Speaker 1: It takes up, you know, so much of your time,

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Speaker 1: and that's awesome. But I didn't have, you know, outside things,

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Speaker 1: like you know, sometimes when you're a runner, you have

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Speaker 1: all these other activities because you can't, like physically run

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Speaker 1: for twelve hours a day. Some people might be able to,

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Speaker 1: like my boyfriend's crazy ultra runner, but usually you have

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Speaker 1: other outside interests.

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Speaker 3: But I was just dancing, like that's it. I didn't

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Speaker 3: know any other worlds at that time, certainly didn't know

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Speaker 3: any runners.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know any runners. And it's probably really funny

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Speaker 2: right now, like even the sentence you just said, like

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Speaker 2: my boyfriend crazy ultrarunner, Like reflecting on your journey in

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Speaker 2: twenty thirteen, you probably never thought that your partner could

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Speaker 2: be a crazy ultrarunner.

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Speaker 3: Oh gosh. No.

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Speaker 1: I was also married twenty thirteen, So that's the whole nother.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, the whole everything now is just so

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Speaker 1: different from anything that it was before.

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Speaker 2: I would argue that the amount of stamina that it

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Speaker 2: takes to dance for like ten twelve hours a day

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Speaker 2: is just as much taxing as it would be to

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Speaker 2: like be trotting around.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it is, definitely, it is definitely. I mean, gosh,

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Speaker 1: I think about dancing now for even an hour's straight

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Speaker 1: at the level that I was, and I just need

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Speaker 1: a nap. It just sounds I was in like a

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Speaker 1: two inch heel or one and a half inch heel.

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Speaker 1: But if I was doing Latin dancing, which was like samba,

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Speaker 1: any sort of chacha, rumba, swing, salsa, You're in like

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Speaker 1: a three and a half inch heel. So yeah, you're

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Speaker 1: not just going for twelve hours. You're doing that in

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Speaker 1: heels and practice dress clothes or like work clothes basically

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Speaker 1: that just have a lot of stretch. Because yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: a lot.

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Speaker 2: It's for sure. So you were living in Boston of

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Speaker 2: the time of the twenty thirteen Bobbings. Where did your

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Speaker 2: day start that day?

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Speaker 1: So my day started I was I had just recently

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Speaker 1: won third in the world in ballroom dancing and it

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Speaker 1: was incredible and awesome, and I decided to take a

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Speaker 1: day off. And I didn't usually take days off. We

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Speaker 1: think in the sport of dancing. We think it's really

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Speaker 1: cute that Brady has an off season. Like that's cute, sweetie,

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Speaker 1: Like you also have backup and someone else that knows

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Speaker 1: all your moves may not be able to do him

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Speaker 1: as well, but like knows all your moves, But ballroom

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Speaker 1: answers if we get injured, we just take a cord

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Speaker 1: Zon shot and keep going because we're the only ones

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Speaker 1: who know our choreography.

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Speaker 2: So also, like what a Boston thing of you to

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Speaker 2: just be like Brady has a backup?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know, you know. I said that once in

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Speaker 1: a speech and he was there, but I'd been saying

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Speaker 1: it for so long and I forgot that he was

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Speaker 1: there and he just like laughed and rolled the size

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Speaker 1: of me. But whatever, I stand by. I stand by

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Speaker 1: what I say. Yeah, I didn't take days off very

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Speaker 1: often and at all, And decided to take a day

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Speaker 1: off and slept in a little, went to breakfast and

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Speaker 1: went to lunch and walked. It was walking around and

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Speaker 1: I heard a bunch of commotion over on the next

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Speaker 1: street next to me, and I thought, well, what is that?

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Speaker 3: Like, why are people screaming and yelling that? Like? Why?

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Speaker 3: What is it a parade? Like what's happening?

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Speaker 1: And I went a couple streets over and saw a

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Speaker 1: road race and a bunch of people running, and they

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Speaker 1: were like white in the face and crying for a

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Speaker 1: million different reasons, I would imagine, and I asked someone,

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Speaker 1: I said, what is going on? And they said, it's

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Speaker 1: the Boston Marathon, And well, I understand now that that's

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Speaker 1: like a national holiday in Boston. It certainly wasn't in

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Speaker 1: my world because if I were teaching runners who were

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Speaker 1: round runners, I didn't know, and we certainly didn't talk

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Speaker 1: about running, so I didn't know any runners at all.

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Speaker 1: So I asked, I asked what the distance was and

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Speaker 1: they said twenty six point two miles and looked at

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Speaker 1: me acrosssiyed like, you know, like, how could this person

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Speaker 1: not know that they're in Boston on marathon weekends, which

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Speaker 1: is exactly how I would look at someone now, And

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Speaker 1: I said, it's a long way to go for a statement.

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Speaker 3: Nechlason a free banana, and they were like they.

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Speaker 1: Just kind of laughed and rolled their eyes, and it

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Speaker 1: was near the finish line, and I turned and walked

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Speaker 1: away from the finish line and then heard a giant

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Speaker 1: blast behind me. In the first blasted, the line had

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Speaker 1: gone off, and I plugged my ears. Thank goodness, that

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Speaker 1: actually saved me from tonightas which is ringing in your ears,

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Speaker 1: and it saved me from that. I plugged my ears

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Speaker 1: and put my head down which protected my face, and said,

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Speaker 1: the next one's going to hit. I just knew it

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Speaker 1: was something other than fanfare. I just knew that it

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Speaker 1: was a terrorist attack. And I don't know how I

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Speaker 1: knew that. I don't know exactly how that how I knew,

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Speaker 1: but I just knew. And the next one hit. And

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Speaker 1: looking back at surveillance footage with the FBI when I

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Speaker 1: was working on the trial, and I was a witness

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Speaker 1: and obviously didn't know who it was then because it's

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Speaker 1: so crowded you don't know who you're standing near. But

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Speaker 1: I was like shoulder to shoulder with the person, the monster,

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Speaker 1: I don't ever say his name, the monster that did

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Speaker 1: this to me. And he dropped the backpack right at

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Speaker 1: my feet and obviously a lot of other people's feet

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Speaker 1: around me, and took off, but I was on the

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Speaker 1: ground and had immediately lost my life left foot, and

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Speaker 1: life has never been the same since.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Wow, I can't even imagine the hysteria that was

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Speaker 2: occurring right around you, and to even have this much recollection.

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Speaker 2: And I know we're just kind of getting started here,

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Speaker 2: but it is remarkable to hear that you have such

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Speaker 2: vivid memories of this day. So the incident happens, the

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Speaker 2: blast goes off, and do you stay awake or do

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Speaker 2: you pass out?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, hysteria is a good word for it.

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Speaker 1: It was absolute chaos, as people would imagine, and a

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Speaker 1: lot of people have seen on the news. My memory

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Speaker 1: is crystal clear, which certainly made me a good witness.

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Speaker 1: But I just I stayed awake through the whole thing.

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Speaker 1: If I were passed out, they think I was only

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Speaker 1: passed out for like the shock, the initial maybe five

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Speaker 1: second shock of it, but I.

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Speaker 3: Remember all of it.

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Speaker 1: And I landed on my left hip, which luckily, you know,

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Speaker 1: if you think about that in detail, like your left

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Speaker 1: leg gets blown off, you're going to go down first

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Speaker 1: on your left side. And I had a big gash

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Speaker 1: on my right thigh.

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Speaker 3: Had been open.

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Speaker 1: I'm really fortunate that I was wearing like three and

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Speaker 1: a half inch heels that day, because it was very

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Speaker 1: clear that if I were lowered to the ground, then

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Speaker 1: I would have lost both knees and I would have

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Speaker 1: been a double amputee. The blast hitting my right thigh

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Speaker 1: was quite literally right above that bone, so I would

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Speaker 1: have absolutely lost double if I had been wearing heels.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, I remember everything.

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Speaker 1: I was on the ground and I opened my eyes

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Speaker 1: and I didn't know if they were actually open or not,

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Speaker 1: because all I saw was gray. I just thought, like,

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Speaker 1: this is it. It was like I must not be alive,

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Speaker 1: Like there's no possible way that you would survive a

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Speaker 1: terrorist attack. Because I was hit by the second blast.

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Speaker 1: I had seen the first blast, and I knew that

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Speaker 1: it was bad, you know. I knew that Boston was

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Speaker 1: in a really bad situation, that I was in a

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Speaker 1: really bad situation, even before looking down and seeing that

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Speaker 1: I had no left foot. And I once I saw that,

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Speaker 1: I somehow, you know, your adrenaline pops in to try

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Speaker 1: and save your own life.

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Speaker 3: And I rolled.

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Speaker 1: Over, just sort of plopped over onto my belly, and

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Speaker 1: I started like barrel rolling with my arms or dragging

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Speaker 1: myself with my arms, I guess is better term for

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Speaker 1: it across the sidewalk, and I was just trying to

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Speaker 1: get away, like I don't know what I was going

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Speaker 1: away from, or like when the next one.

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Speaker 3: Was going to hit. I certainly didn't think there would

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Speaker 3: only be two then I was.

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Speaker 1: Someone grabbed me by the shoulders and drug me over

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Speaker 1: to a staircase, and I immediately was eye to eye

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Speaker 1: with an off duty doctor that was must have been

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Speaker 1: right nearby and seen my injuries that were really really bad.

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Speaker 1: I mean my jeans were blown off and blown open,

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Speaker 1: and he whipped his belt right off and tied to

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Speaker 1: tourniquet and then grabbed someone else's belt and tied to

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Speaker 1: tournique around my other leg that was bleeding profusely and

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Speaker 1: I and I started to turn really cold and close

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Speaker 1: my eyes a lot, and they were like, Adrian, stay awake, saywake,

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Speaker 1: say away, and just screaming at me. And then five

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Speaker 1: super hot Boston environment walked in and they put me

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Speaker 1: in the back of an ambulance and I was on

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Speaker 1: my way to Boston Medical Center and I met my

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Speaker 1: Superman surgeon who saved my life.

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Speaker 2: That day, Superman Surgeon. Wow, Yeah, all of this just

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Speaker 2: absolutely incredible. Is it possible to even try to articulate

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Speaker 2: the amount of pain that you were in?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know it's it is impossible to articulate, for sure.

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Speaker 1: But part of that is the brain not remembering it.

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Speaker 1: I know that that's not always true, because in twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 1: I was unfortunately hit by a car going forty five

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Speaker 1: in the crosswalk, and I know all the pain from that.

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Speaker 1: I remember screaming. I remember that I was in pain,

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Speaker 1: but I don't remember what the pain felt like.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that makes sense now, I hear that. I hear that.

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Speaker 2: And so you get to the hospital and you meet

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Speaker 2: your superman surgeon and at this point your family is

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Speaker 2: actually on the West coast. Is that correct?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: So I grew up right side of Seattle, Washington. My

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Speaker 1: parents had an independent bookstore in Seattle. Books and records,

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Speaker 1: remember those back before it was like hip to have records.

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Speaker 1: That was like the only way you could get music.

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Speaker 3: Hip.

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Speaker 1: Do people still say hip? I believe people say yep, okay,

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Speaker 1: all right. Back then we were saying hip. And I thought,

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Speaker 1: for sure, there's no way my family and friends can

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Speaker 1: get here before before I die to say goodbye, because

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Speaker 1: I mean, I definitely had people telling me that they

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Speaker 1: didn't think I was going.

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Speaker 3: To make it.

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Speaker 1: You know, it was it was really gruesome, Like there

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Speaker 1: were a lot of it was really bad and graphic,

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Speaker 1: but there was a lot of talk of what was

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Speaker 1: used to in the blast, that it was radioactive, like

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Speaker 1: so there were times when the doctors would be working

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Speaker 1: on us, all of the survivors, and then they would

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Speaker 1: all just step back and like not touch you, and

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Speaker 1: you would be losing a ton of blood. And so

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Speaker 1: that's not to blame anyone, I want to be really clear,

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Speaker 1: but like there was just a lot like they didn't

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Speaker 1: know if any of us were going to make it

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Speaker 1: because of that, and so they had advised me to

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Speaker 1: call and say goodbye to my family, and also I

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Speaker 1: had just lost a lot of blood, so I said,

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Speaker 1: I called and said goodbye to my parents and then

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Speaker 1: wheeled into surgery.

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Speaker 2: Can you talk to me about that phone call?

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Speaker 3: It was tough.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's an understatement, but I remember thinking, like,

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Speaker 1: which one am I going to call? Am I going

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Speaker 1: to call my mom who probably won't answer because she

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Speaker 1: has absolutely no idea how to turn to wring her

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Speaker 1: up and down on her phone, even though she wants

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Speaker 1: you to call the time my dad, But like what

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Speaker 1: if the other one wasn't home, or what if they

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Speaker 1: don't answer, Like what am I going to say in

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Speaker 1: a voicemail? What if they're driving they definitely won't answer

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Speaker 1: because they you know, it's at least at the time,

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Speaker 1: it was illegal to answer your cell phone in Washington State.

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Speaker 3: What it is now? Yeah, right, yeah. I wasn't sure

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Speaker 3: who I should call. Then I decided I would call

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Speaker 3: my dad.

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Speaker 1: I'd want to talk to him more anyway, Daddy's girl

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Speaker 1: and ended up being that they were together. They were

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Speaker 1: driving on the freeway and I said, what are you doing?

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Speaker 1: And he said, we're driving on the freeway And I said,

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Speaker 1: you need to pull over, and he I was trying

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Speaker 1: to be calm because I didn't want to cause an accident,

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Speaker 1: but it was oviously chaos around me, and I was

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Speaker 1: in really bad shape. And I must have sounded too

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Speaker 1: calm because he said, you took your drive test in

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Speaker 1: the state of Washington, eating you know it's illegal to

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Speaker 1: pull over in a freeway. I was like, okay, Like,

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Speaker 1: do not scream when I tell you this. But I've

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Speaker 1: been in a terrorist attack. I have no left foot

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Speaker 1: and I need to say goodbye to you right now.

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Speaker 1: And he got my mom to pull over and I

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Speaker 1: said goodbye, and I told him I loved him, and

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Speaker 1: then I talked to my mom and I can't go

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Speaker 1: into what we talked about because I won't be able

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Speaker 1: to finish the interview. But it was it was tough.

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Speaker 1: It was very tough. Yeah, it's I mean, it's the

360
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Speaker 1: worst that could happen, right. That's a really hard, terrible

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Speaker 1: thing to have to say goodbye to your people. And

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Speaker 1: I was convinced I wasn't going to make it because

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Speaker 1: I didn't think you could lose a limb and live.

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Speaker 3: Like, I know that there are other apts out there.

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Speaker 1: I'm not an intelligent woman, but like there was there

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Speaker 1: were no certainties. There was no like, Okay, now I'm

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Speaker 1: at the hospital, I'm safe. I didn't feel that way

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Speaker 1: at all. I felt very in very capable hands. I

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Speaker 1: knew my superman surgeon was the best of the best,

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Speaker 1: head of cardiovascular surgery. Now he's like the CEO of

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Speaker 1: the hospital. He's not, but like in my eyes, he's

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Speaker 1: like the king of all of it. So I definitely,

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Speaker 1: you know, all of us felt like what's going to happen.

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Speaker 2: Next, I want to talk about your recovery, but I

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Speaker 2: also want to ask you, like, how long did that

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Speaker 2: feeling linger with you, being worried about just walking down

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Speaker 2: the hallway or opening your front door or being at

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Speaker 2: a crosswalk and this happening again.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it stayed with me for probably two and a

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Speaker 3: half years.

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Speaker 1: That's interesting. No one's ever asked me that before. It

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Speaker 1: stayed with me for probably about two and a half years. Definitely,

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Speaker 1: that's PTSD, right, I mean, that's normal to have that,

384
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Speaker 1: that's your brain. It's a lot of people think PTSD

385
00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,560
Speaker 1: is the person not letting go of the trauma, but

386
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Speaker 1: it's the trauma not letting.

387
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Speaker 3: Go of the person.

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Speaker 1: And it's really really important to differentiate those things because it's.

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Speaker 3: Not my fault. It's not me not going to therapy.

390
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Speaker 3: I was.

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Speaker 1: I worked very diligently to find a therapist and did

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Speaker 1: and still go to him. You can work really hard,

393
00:20:06,920 --> 00:20:09,920
Speaker 1: but your body and your brain are trying to reconcile

394
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Speaker 1: the fact that you just lost your limb. And when

395
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Speaker 1: you have been enjoying a sunny day and everything's going

396
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Speaker 1: really well in the world for you, and something happens

397
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Speaker 1: on like the happiest, sunniest day. It can make a

398
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Speaker 1: happy sunny, calm days seem terrifying, right, just like if

399
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Speaker 1: something happened to someone on a road, or something happened

400
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,720
Speaker 1: to someone in the woods, they're not going to return there.

401
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:35,240
Speaker 1: But on a happy sunny day, you have to return

402
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Speaker 1: to those So in life, that just is going to

403
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Speaker 1: happen again, right, So.

404
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Speaker 3: It wasn't.

405
00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 1: My PTSD is not about the actual location. So I

406
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:49,320
Speaker 1: get asked a lot if being at the marathon or

407
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Speaker 1: at a road race is triggering, But no, because I

408
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Speaker 1: didn't know what a road race was, so like I didn't.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't associating that with that.

410
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Speaker 1: So there were people that were near me, other survivors,

411
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Speaker 1: who stood in that same spot every year since they

412
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:05,400
Speaker 1: were like born with their family. It's this deep Boston tradition,

413
00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,560
Speaker 1: and now that space is forever tainted because of what happened.

414
00:21:08,800 --> 00:21:12,920
Speaker 1: And I totally get that. But my PTSD is loud noises,

415
00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 1: suspicious backpack, So like fireworks or a kid's birthday party

416
00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:20,440
Speaker 1: with a lot of balloons that will pop someone having

417
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:22,280
Speaker 1: a big box of books and just like drops it

418
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Speaker 1: near me, like all of a sudden, makes the groundshake

419
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:27,399
Speaker 1: and makes the loud noise, I'll fly through the roofs.

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Speaker 3: So so yeah, I.

421
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,120
Speaker 1: Think you know, that stays with you for a long time.

422
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,919
Speaker 1: But the stranger danger, which you were referring to for

423
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:36,399
Speaker 1: lack of a better term, that stays for a while

424
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Speaker 1: because these people that did this just look like your

425
00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:41,679
Speaker 1: average Joe, which I think is better because I wouldn't

426
00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:44,120
Speaker 1: want to think that it was like some type of person, right,

427
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,879
Speaker 1: it was a white dude into baseball hats. It was

428
00:21:45,920 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 1: really hard, you know. I definitely my first few times

429
00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,199
Speaker 1: back out just on a sidewalk, I thought everyone was

430
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Speaker 1: a terrorist. And I never said that publicly for like

431
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,919
Speaker 1: five or six years because I was ashamed of that.

432
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Speaker 1: But you know, the world proved to me that that's

433
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Speaker 1: what was true. So yeah, so that was really hard. Yeah,

434
00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:04,480
Speaker 1: it was really tough, and you know I had to

435
00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,880
Speaker 1: get a lot of help with that and had to

436
00:22:07,080 --> 00:22:10,320
Speaker 1: be like, Okay, this is my brain trying to you know,

437
00:22:10,400 --> 00:22:14,800
Speaker 1: I need to be proven now, like it's building trust again, right,

438
00:22:14,840 --> 00:22:16,479
Speaker 1: So the world had to prove to me that that

439
00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 1: wasn't actually true, and that took me getting back out

440
00:22:19,520 --> 00:22:23,159
Speaker 1: there again and again and again and deciding that, Okay,

441
00:22:23,320 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 1: that's not actually true. This doesn't actually happen all the.

442
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:30,879
Speaker 2: Time when you were in the recovery phases. Did you

443
00:22:32,040 --> 00:22:34,400
Speaker 2: want to spend time alone or did you not want

444
00:22:34,440 --> 00:22:35,280
Speaker 2: to spend time alone?

445
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:36,119
Speaker 3: Good question.

446
00:22:36,560 --> 00:22:40,440
Speaker 1: I didn't know what I wanted first of all, looking back,

447
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,359
Speaker 1: I had no idea what I wanted, but I certainly

448
00:22:42,359 --> 00:22:45,359
Speaker 1: thought I did. It's like being eighteen, You're like, you

449
00:22:45,400 --> 00:22:47,439
Speaker 1: think you know everything, but you're so young in the

450
00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:49,960
Speaker 1: new body and new trauma that you don't know what

451
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,400
Speaker 1: you need. That being said, I wanted to have people around,

452
00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:56,600
Speaker 1: but I also didn't have the healthiest people in my

453
00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:58,720
Speaker 1: life at that time. My husband at the time and

454
00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:02,199
Speaker 1: I were already having big issues and had talked about divorce.

455
00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,120
Speaker 3: Actually, that morning of the bombing.

456
00:23:04,240 --> 00:23:08,800
Speaker 1: And dance wasn't very healthy in the mental health space

457
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,800
Speaker 1: or body space. To stand in front of a bunch

458
00:23:12,800 --> 00:23:16,600
Speaker 1: of old white dudes and string standing down a string bikini.

459
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,880
Speaker 1: They get to tell you how good or bad your

460
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:22,960
Speaker 1: body is with like actual numbers up like ten or

461
00:23:23,119 --> 00:23:27,879
Speaker 1: zero or whatever. So when something bad happens to you

462
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:32,200
Speaker 1: and you're in a trying to be perfect environment, that

463
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:36,000
Speaker 1: doesn't lend itself to people mothering you or like being

464
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:41,200
Speaker 1: there for you or you know that just doesn't that

465
00:23:39,760 --> 00:23:45,119
Speaker 1: the the like beauty queen industry doesn't lend itself to

466
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,280
Speaker 1: like wrapping their arms around you while you're in the

467
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:54,840
Speaker 1: fedal position, sobbing. So all that said, I didn't have

468
00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:57,159
Speaker 1: people around me that I needed to and that was

469
00:23:57,160 --> 00:24:00,639
Speaker 1: really hard. So I wanted people around me, but I

470
00:24:00,680 --> 00:24:01,679
Speaker 1: didn't have those people.

471
00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:05,840
Speaker 2: I know that the like FBI flew your family, and

472
00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:09,440
Speaker 2: so how long did they stay with you?

473
00:24:09,880 --> 00:24:11,760
Speaker 1: Yeah, So when I woke up from my surgery, my

474
00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:13,879
Speaker 1: parents were there and my Superman surge and at the

475
00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:17,080
Speaker 1: end of the bed, which was incredible and also awesome.

476
00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:19,080
Speaker 1: They didn't like wake up in a room alone, and

477
00:24:19,359 --> 00:24:21,960
Speaker 1: it was just the best scenario that could have been,

478
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:26,280
Speaker 1: just waking up. In general, it was good, right, still living.

479
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:32,679
Speaker 1: So they stayed for two and a half weeks. My

480
00:24:32,760 --> 00:24:36,240
Speaker 1: dad went back to pack stuff because obviously they you

481
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 1: can't pack when you're just trying to go visit your

482
00:24:38,600 --> 00:24:41,159
Speaker 1: daughter after she's been blown up by a terrorists. They

483
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 1: alsually didn't know what they wanted to bring. They didn't

484
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:45,520
Speaker 1: know how long they were going to be here. I

485
00:24:45,600 --> 00:24:49,840
Speaker 1: think overall, it was like three weeks or so. And

486
00:24:49,880 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 1: you know, my brothers came I have two older brothers,

487
00:24:51,800 --> 00:24:53,840
Speaker 1: they're twins, and they came out and that was awesome.

488
00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:58,160
Speaker 1: But my brother's boss at the school he was teaching

489
00:24:58,200 --> 00:25:01,600
Speaker 1: at the time only gave him three days, which is

490
00:25:02,160 --> 00:25:08,399
Speaker 1: absolute bullshit in my mind. And my other brother, you know,

491
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:11,520
Speaker 1: he has four kids and a business to run, so

492
00:25:11,560 --> 00:25:13,240
Speaker 1: he came out for I think a week.

493
00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:14,320
Speaker 3: That was all he could stay.

494
00:25:14,359 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 1: You know, it's hard to like, you can't just have

495
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:20,159
Speaker 1: people coming and you know, they're not sleeping at the

496
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,480
Speaker 1: hospital with you, so like there's a lot of logistic

497
00:25:22,520 --> 00:25:24,200
Speaker 1: stuff that can happen that's really hard.

498
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,800
Speaker 3: I will say that the FBI, as you said, they.

499
00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:29,680
Speaker 1: Flew people out and they have funds for that, which

500
00:25:29,720 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 1: I think everyone should know. If the absolute worst happens

501
00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:35,679
Speaker 1: in your world, they will track your people down and

502
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:37,040
Speaker 1: get them to where they need to go and put

503
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,480
Speaker 1: them up in a hotel. So that was wonderful and

504
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: something that I wish everyone knew about the FBI.

505
00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 3: They take care of you.

506
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:45,679
Speaker 1: And that's not to benefit them, that's just that's the

507
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:51,359
Speaker 1: government doing amazing things for their people. So that was

508
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:54,439
Speaker 1: wonderful and very helpful, and we each had a victim

509
00:25:54,440 --> 00:25:57,840
Speaker 1: advocate that was like in charge of their family and

510
00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:01,679
Speaker 1: making sure. So, for instance, I didn't know that the

511
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,959
Speaker 1: blast had come. I thought the blast had come from

512
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:06,280
Speaker 1: the sky for like three months because I wouldn't let

513
00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 1: anyone talk to me about what happened. I actually had

514
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 1: put a sign on the outside of my door saying,

515
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,159
Speaker 1: I have enough truth that I'm dealing with, like my

516
00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:15,200
Speaker 1: leg is gone. I don't want to know any thing

517
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 1: more than that. And going back to the FBI, they

518
00:26:18,119 --> 00:26:20,919
Speaker 1: would escort and drive my parents from wherever they were

519
00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,040
Speaker 1: staying to the hospital. So I didn't even know there

520
00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:24,920
Speaker 1: was lockdown, Like I didn't know that was a thing,

521
00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:27,600
Speaker 1: Like while the whole world was launching this thing, Like

522
00:26:27,640 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 1: I had no clue.

523
00:26:29,200 --> 00:26:33,640
Speaker 2: After you get out of the surgery and that you are,

524
00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:38,160
Speaker 2: you know, in quote unquote recovery, what is that transition?

525
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:41,080
Speaker 3: Like, Yeah, it's tough.

526
00:26:41,320 --> 00:26:44,800
Speaker 1: I mean I think it's just there's a thing that

527
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:49,359
Speaker 1: happens with your brain after trauma, especially early on. That

528
00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,960
Speaker 1: is what my therapist refers to as broken record, where

529
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 1: your subconscious is just trying to figure out what just

530
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:58,840
Speaker 1: happened and reconcile it with your brain and your new reality,

531
00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:05,239
Speaker 1: and and so it sounds like a broken record, like

532
00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,240
Speaker 1: someone could be telling you a bunch of information about

533
00:27:08,359 --> 00:27:12,640
Speaker 1: prosthetics and you're gonna walk one day, and here's what

534
00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 1: we did with your leg, and here's how you treat

535
00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 1: this wound. And meanwhile, in your head, it's just a

536
00:27:17,240 --> 00:27:19,160
Speaker 1: broken record like, oh my gosh, my leg is gone.

537
00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:20,560
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, I got blown up by the terrist,

538
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:22,680
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, my leg is gone, you know, over

539
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 1: and over again.

540
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 3: And you can't intake new information.

541
00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,359
Speaker 1: So who knows who I met, who knows what I said,

542
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:29,639
Speaker 1: who knows what they said to me?

543
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:30,760
Speaker 3: No clue.

544
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:33,960
Speaker 1: You just can't in take new information. So people will

545
00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:37,159
Speaker 1: say like we had the most heartfelt conversation, and I'm like, really,

546
00:27:38,040 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 1: I don't remember that. I was also on every medication possible.

547
00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,960
Speaker 1: But it just looked what did that look like? It

548
00:27:44,000 --> 00:27:47,399
Speaker 1: looked like a lot of crying and a lot of anger.

549
00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:52,159
Speaker 1: I didn't know anger was actually grief, but it was.

550
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,200
Speaker 1: It was a lot of crying. I was just really sad,

551
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,760
Speaker 1: you know, it's just really sad that my world would

552
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,960
Speaker 1: never be the same. And there were a lot of time.

553
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:00,360
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.

554
00:28:00,359 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 3: I thought I.

555
00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 1: Couldn't walk again, and certainly never dreamed of dancing or

556
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:04,240
Speaker 1: becoming a runner.

557
00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,480
Speaker 2: I recall from I believe it was another podcast that

558
00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:11,680
Speaker 2: I listened to you speak on where even going into surgery,

559
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,160
Speaker 2: you told your superman surgeon that you were the number

560
00:28:15,200 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 2: three ballroom dancer in the world and he needed to

561
00:28:18,359 --> 00:28:21,200
Speaker 2: do something so that you could become number one.

562
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:23,040
Speaker 3: Yeah, I did.

563
00:28:23,080 --> 00:28:26,239
Speaker 1: I was searching that perfection so deep that that's what

564
00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,119
Speaker 1: I said to him, And I can't believe I did that.

565
00:28:28,200 --> 00:28:29,359
Speaker 3: I mean, it makes me sick.

566
00:28:29,520 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 1: That's who I was, you know, I was really searching

567
00:28:32,119 --> 00:28:36,120
Speaker 1: that perfection and I wanted to be first, like that

568
00:28:36,200 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 1: was all that mattered to me. And that's hard. That's

569
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 1: a hard reality to grasp. But then the other side

570
00:28:41,080 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 1: of that of finally not being that perfect sure feels good,

571
00:28:46,920 --> 00:28:48,520
Speaker 1: like take me or leave me.

572
00:28:48,880 --> 00:28:55,520
Speaker 2: When do you think you personally emotionally got from the

573
00:28:55,640 --> 00:29:04,200
Speaker 2: place of non stop anger to more gratitude, which is

574
00:29:04,240 --> 00:29:07,400
Speaker 2: I know where you live your life from now. When

575
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 2: did that really start to transition for you?

576
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:17,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I remember my friends and family coming

577
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:20,560
Speaker 1: into the hospital. This is where I started seeing glimmers

578
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:23,000
Speaker 1: of it. It wasn't a full transition at this point,

579
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 1: but I got there later on. I started to see

580
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 1: glimmers of it because I had people coming into the

581
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,080
Speaker 1: hospital that were visiting.

582
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 3: Me and just being really pissy about their own lives

583
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:35,400
Speaker 3: and they had it really good.

584
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:40,680
Speaker 1: And just getting really upset about small things and all

585
00:29:40,720 --> 00:29:41,280
Speaker 1: of this, and.

586
00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:44,800
Speaker 3: It just I just was like, you've got to be

587
00:29:45,040 --> 00:29:45,560
Speaker 3: kidding me.

588
00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:48,360
Speaker 2: You know, the audacity for someone to come into your

589
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:51,239
Speaker 2: hospital room with like their not to say that, like

590
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:54,760
Speaker 2: people aren't entitled to their issues, but you would think

591
00:29:54,800 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 2: to know your audience.

592
00:29:56,680 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh yeah, Well that tells you who I was

593
00:29:58,400 --> 00:29:58,880
Speaker 3: hanging out with.

594
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,280
Speaker 1: And you know, my mom can be really negative and

595
00:30:02,320 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 1: I don't mind saying that out loud.

596
00:30:03,840 --> 00:30:06,240
Speaker 3: I'm not here to keep her secrets.

597
00:30:05,520 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 1: And we battle about that a lot, and I told her,

598
00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:15,320
Speaker 1: you can't talk negatively about anyone while I'm in here, Like,

599
00:30:15,360 --> 00:30:16,120
Speaker 1: you can't do it.

600
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:17,360
Speaker 3: I don't want to hear it anymore.

601
00:30:17,560 --> 00:30:21,200
Speaker 1: And that was really hard for her, and she had

602
00:30:21,240 --> 00:30:23,200
Speaker 1: to leave the room a lot in order to tell

603
00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:27,520
Speaker 1: someone else something negative about someone and that's tough. And

604
00:30:27,560 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 1: that was really eye opening to me to have to

605
00:30:31,680 --> 00:30:36,160
Speaker 1: really observe people in a new way because all I

606
00:30:36,200 --> 00:30:38,200
Speaker 1: was doing, all I was doing all day every day,

607
00:30:38,280 --> 00:30:41,000
Speaker 1: was just sitting and listening to people. And so when

608
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,000
Speaker 1: I wasn't having that broken record in my head, and

609
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:48,680
Speaker 1: so when I saw people being negative or just about

610
00:30:48,680 --> 00:30:53,000
Speaker 1: stupid stuff, I just remember thinking, like, if I make

611
00:30:53,040 --> 00:30:55,200
Speaker 1: it through this, which I don't know, it feels like

612
00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,720
Speaker 1: I am and I'm being told that I'm going to live,

613
00:30:57,960 --> 00:31:00,560
Speaker 1: you know, I've lived this past week or whatever the hospital.

614
00:31:00,720 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 1: I'm certainly not going to be perfect. There is no

615
00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 1: such thing, nor do I want it. But I'm going

616
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:07,240
Speaker 1: to try my hardest not to talk crap about people

617
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:09,120
Speaker 1: and just be really grateful for the little things that

618
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,680
Speaker 1: I can do. And so that was the glimmer of

619
00:31:12,760 --> 00:31:19,200
Speaker 1: that gratitude of just like being gratitude, of being alive, gratitude.

620
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:21,000
Speaker 1: There was a little bit of gratitude that I got

621
00:31:21,000 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 1: to start my life over again. As strange as that

622
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:25,880
Speaker 1: sounds like, not grateful it happened. I want to be

623
00:31:25,920 --> 00:31:29,000
Speaker 1: really clear, never grateful it happened. I'm not one of

624
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 1: those people some people get hit by a car and

625
00:31:30,840 --> 00:31:32,880
Speaker 1: they're really excited it happened because it changes their life.

626
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,480
Speaker 1: I am not in that space and I never will be,

627
00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:37,480
Speaker 1: but I was grateful that I could. I had glimmers

628
00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 1: of like, I'm going to do some serious editing in

629
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:42,640
Speaker 1: my life and of people in places and things and

630
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:48,200
Speaker 1: marriage and stuff. And then later on that gratitude came

631
00:31:48,400 --> 00:31:50,560
Speaker 1: when I learned how to walk. I got my leg,

632
00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:55,000
Speaker 1: and you step down on that leg and you have to,

633
00:31:55,040 --> 00:31:56,960
Speaker 1: you know, numb all of these nerves that are just

634
00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:01,040
Speaker 1: very angry about what happened and their surgery. There's so

635
00:32:01,240 --> 00:32:05,080
Speaker 1: much pain and yes, you get a leg, and it's

636
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:07,200
Speaker 1: exciting to get a leg, but it's not your leg,

637
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:09,640
Speaker 1: and so a lot of tears that happen when people

638
00:32:09,680 --> 00:32:12,600
Speaker 1: get their first leg. Yes it's gratitude, but like it's

639
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:18,600
Speaker 1: also just anguish that this is now real. And I

640
00:32:18,680 --> 00:32:22,520
Speaker 1: started to walk between ballet bars that I used to

641
00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:27,880
Speaker 1: dance between, and to learn how to walk again is

642
00:32:27,920 --> 00:32:32,840
Speaker 1: one of the most beautiful, most incredible gifts that I

643
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,959
Speaker 1: so wish we all had. I wish that we all

644
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 1: had memories of learning how to walk. Like if I

645
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,760
Speaker 1: could grant this world that, I think we would all

646
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 1: just be a hell of a lot more grateful. If

647
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:47,320
Speaker 1: you look at yourself going downstairs, like literally going taking

648
00:32:47,360 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 1: steps downstairs, you fall like you fall to the next step.

649
00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,000
Speaker 1: And so to take a new foot, a new body

650
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: part that you can't feel is on the edge of

651
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:02,880
Speaker 1: the stair and fall onto it and hope, hope that

652
00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:05,200
Speaker 1: it catches you and you don't crack your skull open.

653
00:33:05,640 --> 00:33:07,600
Speaker 3: I mean, there is no better gift.

654
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:10,200
Speaker 1: I'm not talking and coming back from injury, which don't

655
00:33:10,200 --> 00:33:12,400
Speaker 1: get me wrong as hard I've done that too, but

656
00:33:12,880 --> 00:33:16,400
Speaker 1: to have a whole new body part and to put

657
00:33:16,440 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 1: your hands just like a toddler does at the end

658
00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 1: of this new body part and be like, Okay, that's

659
00:33:20,680 --> 00:33:22,720
Speaker 1: what that feels. Like I had no idea my body. No,

660
00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:24,120
Speaker 1: we all know our body where like I have a

661
00:33:24,160 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 1: mole there and a funny tonail there, but like to

662
00:33:27,080 --> 00:33:29,760
Speaker 1: get to know an entirely new body part. There are

663
00:33:29,800 --> 00:33:33,160
Speaker 1: a lot of psychologists that say that losing your leg

664
00:33:33,280 --> 00:33:36,040
Speaker 1: is like mourning your own death because it's the only

665
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:39,040
Speaker 1: thing that's like you literally lose a part of yourself,

666
00:33:39,080 --> 00:33:42,480
Speaker 1: and there's a rebuilding and newness about getting a new

667
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,280
Speaker 1: body part and rebuilding yourself. And that happened for me

668
00:33:45,360 --> 00:33:47,760
Speaker 1: when I learned how to walk, and then the gratitude

669
00:33:47,800 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 1: came from.

670
00:33:48,440 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 3: Oh, guess what, I have to pee?

671
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:51,600
Speaker 1: I can get up and pee like because there was

672
00:33:51,640 --> 00:33:53,800
Speaker 1: a long time where I couldn't, And so that was

673
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 1: just the gratitude from that. I mean, I love running,

674
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,800
Speaker 1: I love I love learning really fast, I love damn

675
00:33:59,840 --> 00:34:01,600
Speaker 1: s and I'm so proud that I've been able to

676
00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 1: do all of that.

677
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:03,840
Speaker 3: But there's nothing like walking.

678
00:34:05,080 --> 00:34:10,000
Speaker 2: You learn how to walk, when do you learn how

679
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 2: to run?

680
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:15,280
Speaker 1: I learned how to I went on my first run

681
00:34:15,880 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 1: Year's Day twenty sixteen. I had never been a runner,

682
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 1: like literally wrote like forged notes in high school to

683
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:26,480
Speaker 1: get out of running the presidential fitness or like the

684
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,640
Speaker 1: obligatory mile that you have to do to prove yourself

685
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:31,520
Speaker 1: in high school and middle school and such.

686
00:34:31,520 --> 00:34:33,279
Speaker 3: And I never did it ever.

687
00:34:33,800 --> 00:34:37,120
Speaker 1: I was like six six sick, skip class, served attention,

688
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,799
Speaker 1: whatever worth it, I don't care, and I would never

689
00:34:39,840 --> 00:34:40,560
Speaker 1: sweat in public.

690
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:43,520
Speaker 3: And I decided to pick it up.

691
00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:45,480
Speaker 1: I wanted to send a great, big thank you to

692
00:34:45,560 --> 00:34:49,520
Speaker 1: everyone who was in the running community and everyone who

693
00:34:49,719 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 1: just rallied around all of us survivors in that Boston

694
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:55,120
Speaker 1: strong message. It just meant so much to me. And

695
00:34:55,160 --> 00:35:00,000
Speaker 1: so I started to run run slash like jog fall crawl.

696
00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 3: It was not easy.

697
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:07,160
Speaker 2: And when you started the run jog crawl skip situation,

698
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:13,360
Speaker 2: did you have any expectation or were you just happy

699
00:35:13,680 --> 00:35:17,520
Speaker 2: to try to move your body in this newer way?

700
00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 1: You know, I didn't have too much of an expectation

701
00:35:20,480 --> 00:35:23,120
Speaker 1: because I still didn't know any runners. Like I knew

702
00:35:23,200 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 1: I had met Shelane at that point and that was awesome,

703
00:35:25,960 --> 00:35:29,200
Speaker 1: but I didn't know stats or pace or any of that.

704
00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:29,799
Speaker 3: And so.

705
00:35:31,640 --> 00:35:34,320
Speaker 1: I wasn't like part of a run group where I

706
00:35:34,360 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 1: was comparing myself to other people. I was just running

707
00:35:37,960 --> 00:35:41,239
Speaker 1: by myself, like very incognito. I didn't want witnesses.

708
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,680
Speaker 2: Also, of note, though, we would be remiss if we

709
00:35:44,760 --> 00:35:47,279
Speaker 2: didn't touch on the fact that you may or may

710
00:35:47,320 --> 00:35:51,239
Speaker 2: not have told Anderson Cooper that you were going to

711
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:55,080
Speaker 2: run the marathon having never run a day in your

712
00:35:55,120 --> 00:35:57,479
Speaker 2: life after everything went down.

713
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:00,759
Speaker 1: Yeah, yep, it was. I want to say, I need

714
00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:02,000
Speaker 1: to look this up. But it was like four or

715
00:36:02,040 --> 00:36:04,880
Speaker 1: five days after I lost my leg. I was in

716
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,160
Speaker 1: the hospital and my mom snuck in or someon Cooper

717
00:36:07,160 --> 00:36:12,600
Speaker 1: into my room, just casual, just casual, and she went

718
00:36:12,640 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 1: down to Copley Square, and I didn't know she was.

719
00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:17,480
Speaker 1: I knew she was going to Copley Square, but I

720
00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:18,879
Speaker 1: didn't know she was going to bring him back.

721
00:36:18,920 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 3: And she did.

722
00:36:21,840 --> 00:36:22,960
Speaker 2: She just went and found him.

723
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 3: She just went and found him. Yeah, just no big deal.

724
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:27,080
Speaker 3: Do you want to go talk to my daughter? That's

725
00:36:27,200 --> 00:36:29,480
Speaker 3: very that's very her. Yeah.

726
00:36:29,520 --> 00:36:31,160
Speaker 1: I told him that I wanted to learn how to

727
00:36:31,239 --> 00:36:33,279
Speaker 1: dance again. He said, will you teach me if you learn?

728
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:36,560
Speaker 1: And I said sure, like hell yes, And then that

729
00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,360
Speaker 1: felt really good to say that goal out loud. So

730
00:36:38,400 --> 00:36:40,920
Speaker 1: then I somehow out of my mouth came yeah, and

731
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:42,799
Speaker 1: I think one day I'll run the Boston Marathon as

732
00:36:42,840 --> 00:36:45,759
Speaker 1: a thank you to everyone who has supported all of

733
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:48,680
Speaker 1: us and kept us going. And my dad was like

734
00:36:48,719 --> 00:36:50,520
Speaker 1: in the background, like waving his hands, like, you do

735
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:51,040
Speaker 1: not do.

736
00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:53,400
Speaker 3: That, You do not run. You are not that person.

737
00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:55,160
Speaker 3: Don't say that.

738
00:36:55,800 --> 00:36:58,200
Speaker 1: And meanwhile I forgot the cameras were there because you know,

739
00:36:58,320 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 1: his blue eyes. So so yeah, I had told a

740
00:37:02,640 --> 00:37:04,960
Speaker 1: bunch of people. So I had a lot of people

741
00:37:04,960 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 1: that had this expectation or this they were, you know,

742
00:37:08,800 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 1: hadn't forgotten that I had said this in twenty thirteen.

743
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 1: So I thought I'd give this running a try, And

744
00:37:14,760 --> 00:37:17,879
Speaker 1: when people asked me about it, I kept reminding them

745
00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:19,440
Speaker 1: I'm like, do you know that that's twenty six point

746
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:22,560
Speaker 1: two miles, Like that's really long, And then they would

747
00:37:22,560 --> 00:37:25,200
Speaker 1: respond with, yeah, but you could do anything, and I'm like, ugh,

748
00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:27,600
Speaker 1: I don't want you to believe in me right now.

749
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,560
Speaker 1: I want you to be like, it's totally fine if

750
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:30,319
Speaker 1: you don't do it.

751
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:32,240
Speaker 3: So it was really hard.

752
00:37:32,920 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 2: When did running transition from something that you kind of

753
00:37:37,920 --> 00:37:42,120
Speaker 2: dreaded but hoped to get into to an activity that

754
00:37:42,440 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 2: gave you solace and helped you relearn and refine a

755
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:49,080
Speaker 2: bit of your sense of self.

756
00:37:50,600 --> 00:37:54,840
Speaker 1: You know, I had been running for about four or

757
00:37:54,880 --> 00:37:58,080
Speaker 1: five months, and I still didn't tell anyone. And I

758
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:00,160
Speaker 1: was doing some walking at that point, you know, like

759
00:38:00,239 --> 00:38:03,640
Speaker 1: run walking, but I was running. And and I didn't

760
00:38:03,680 --> 00:38:05,640
Speaker 1: know run walking wasn't running or what you're supposed to

761
00:38:05,680 --> 00:38:06,840
Speaker 1: run the whole time, Like, I didn't know any of

762
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:07,239
Speaker 1: these things.

763
00:38:07,280 --> 00:38:10,400
Speaker 2: So, yeah, run walking, running. Anyone listening to this right now?

764
00:38:10,520 --> 00:38:11,120
Speaker 2: It's running?

765
00:38:11,280 --> 00:38:13,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, if Slane says it is, it is, it is.

766
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:16,759
Speaker 3: And And so.

767
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:20,120
Speaker 1: I was at brunch one day and I finally told

768
00:38:20,160 --> 00:38:23,279
Speaker 1: my friends I was like, I'm running and they said,

769
00:38:23,320 --> 00:38:26,960
Speaker 1: no way, how how far are you running? And I said, oh,

770
00:38:26,960 --> 00:38:30,000
Speaker 1: I don't know. Is there is there like a do

771
00:38:30,080 --> 00:38:31,880
Speaker 1: you have a car follow you? Like you know, I

772
00:38:31,920 --> 00:38:33,960
Speaker 1: have no sense of direction, Like I don't know, I

773
00:38:33,960 --> 00:38:34,839
Speaker 1: don't even know where I go.

774
00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:35,719
Speaker 3: I just run to.

775
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 1: Find the house again and like I didn't know what

776
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 1: I was doing and uh.

777
00:38:42,200 --> 00:38:44,759
Speaker 3: And they said, no, Adrian, there's an app for that.

778
00:38:44,840 --> 00:38:47,080
Speaker 3: And I said, oh cool, where is that? So they

779
00:38:47,080 --> 00:38:48,799
Speaker 3: downloaded it. I don't do tech.

780
00:38:48,880 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 1: Everyone learned how to tech when I was on a

781
00:38:50,400 --> 00:38:52,640
Speaker 1: ballroom dance floor, as you know, because I'm trying to

782
00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:55,680
Speaker 1: get onto this podcast recording. So anyway, they downloaded the

783
00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:57,239
Speaker 1: app and I went out the next morning and I

784
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:00,000
Speaker 1: found out I was running ten miles and I was like, well,

785
00:39:00,080 --> 00:39:02,480
Speaker 1: holy hell, I didn't know that that's far.

786
00:39:03,080 --> 00:39:05,240
Speaker 2: If you have been at that video you were watching

787
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,000
Speaker 2: right now, you guys would have seen my face like

788
00:39:07,080 --> 00:39:12,280
Speaker 2: completely drop in shock. Yeah, oh my goodness.

789
00:39:11,840 --> 00:39:13,439
Speaker 3: Same same. I had no idea.

790
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:15,880
Speaker 1: I thought I was just out there forever because I

791
00:39:15,920 --> 00:39:20,040
Speaker 1: was really bad at it, which I was, but I thought,

792
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,239
Speaker 1: well I could double that and add six. I'm gonna

793
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:24,400
Speaker 1: do the marathon, like, I don't need to be perfect,

794
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:26,839
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna do it. And then then Emily, I

795
00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:29,440
Speaker 1: never ran further than ten miles, and then I was

796
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,520
Speaker 1: towing the line at the twenty sixteen bus in marathon.

797
00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, whatever, I don't need it. I'm fine. Like,

798
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:37,759
Speaker 1: you don't think you're not training if you've never done

799
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:38,919
Speaker 1: it and you don't have run our.

800
00:39:38,840 --> 00:39:43,399
Speaker 2: Friends, So then you hit a lot of hurdles when

801
00:39:43,480 --> 00:39:48,600
Speaker 2: it comes to actually running the marathon. Talk us through

802
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:53,920
Speaker 2: the see of hurdle moments that you had between what

803
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,839
Speaker 2: was twenty sixteen and twenty twenty two.

804
00:39:57,120 --> 00:40:00,840
Speaker 1: Yeah, twenty sixteen. I it was so tough. I was

805
00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:03,960
Speaker 1: staying at that start line with my boyfriend at the

806
00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,000
Speaker 1: time who's now one of my best friends, love him Dan,

807
00:40:06,239 --> 00:40:15,120
Speaker 1: and had a full panic attack and he said, you know, Adrian,

808
00:40:15,160 --> 00:40:16,680
Speaker 1: what will get you to the finish line is nothing

809
00:40:16,680 --> 00:40:18,720
Speaker 1: compared to what got you to the start. And I said,

810
00:40:18,920 --> 00:40:22,319
Speaker 1: you're right, You're right, that's true. Like I had learned

811
00:40:22,320 --> 00:40:26,040
Speaker 1: how to walk again, I danced, I performed. I had

812
00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:28,880
Speaker 1: done so much with PTSD that I was able to

813
00:40:28,880 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 1: be in crowds again and around loud noises and all

814
00:40:32,600 --> 00:40:36,880
Speaker 1: the things, and so I the gun went off and

815
00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:40,640
Speaker 1: I started running and then ran for about five minutes,

816
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:42,160
Speaker 1: and I was like, wow, that was really hard. And

817
00:40:42,200 --> 00:40:45,880
Speaker 1: then I crawled, walk, hobbled, stopped in almost every medical

818
00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:49,400
Speaker 1: tent to hang out, I stopped for lunch.

819
00:40:49,560 --> 00:40:51,840
Speaker 3: I like crawled, I was carried.

820
00:40:52,480 --> 00:40:54,720
Speaker 1: I barely made it, and I was a final finisher

821
00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:57,320
Speaker 1: in ten hours and forty four minutes in twenty sixteen,

822
00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: and two seconds after crossing the line, then President Barack

823
00:41:01,760 --> 00:41:05,480
Speaker 1: Obama tweeted me and said, congratulations, Adrian. We carry on,

824
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:08,239
Speaker 1: we finish the race. We don't let terras stop us.

825
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 1: And that was incredible and amazing. And I was so

826
00:41:12,640 --> 00:41:15,440
Speaker 1: in so much pain from running, and I'd had major

827
00:41:15,480 --> 00:41:20,239
Speaker 1: issues with my prosthetic throughout that race, run krawl, and

828
00:41:20,280 --> 00:41:22,960
Speaker 1: I hadn't trained, and I wouldn't change it for the world.

829
00:41:23,040 --> 00:41:25,440
Speaker 1: It was amazing, but I came in dead last, and

830
00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:27,680
Speaker 1: I really wanted to see what it would be like

831
00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 1: to come in first. And so let's see, that was

832
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:36,480
Speaker 1: twenty sixteen. Twenty seventeen, I spectated, and one year I

833
00:41:36,719 --> 00:41:41,840
Speaker 1: was testifying, and then twenty or no, twenty eighteen, I

834
00:41:41,880 --> 00:41:46,000
Speaker 1: trained really really hard and was cruising at like eight

835
00:41:46,040 --> 00:41:51,320
Speaker 1: minute miles. And that was the year of the hypothermia.

836
00:41:52,520 --> 00:41:54,840
Speaker 1: It was so awful in Boston that year that they

837
00:41:54,880 --> 00:41:57,319
Speaker 1: closed the airport. One of my dear friends who's at

838
00:41:57,320 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 1: the BAA and he described it as a frozen car wash,

839
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,919
Speaker 1: which is exactly what it was. And I got hypothermia

840
00:42:04,960 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 1: at like mile six or mile ten, I don't even remember,

841
00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:08,840
Speaker 1: and I didn't know my own name, and I was

842
00:42:08,880 --> 00:42:11,719
Speaker 1: pulled and that was heartbreaking. I mean, they made the

843
00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:13,799
Speaker 1: right decision, the medical team made a right decision to

844
00:42:13,800 --> 00:42:15,760
Speaker 1: pull me, but that's a hard till to swallow.

845
00:42:15,920 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 3: That was heartbreaking.

846
00:42:17,760 --> 00:42:21,959
Speaker 1: And then twenty nineteen, I was training and one hundred

847
00:42:22,040 --> 00:42:23,960
Speaker 1: days out, I was walking to dinner, had the right

848
00:42:23,960 --> 00:42:27,040
Speaker 1: of way in a crosswalk in a car going about

849
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:30,759
Speaker 1: forty forty five miles an hour barreled into me and

850
00:42:30,840 --> 00:42:33,640
Speaker 1: actually hit me on my left side. They didn't have

851
00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:37,799
Speaker 1: any headlights on. They did not give him a breathalyzer,

852
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:41,040
Speaker 1: which was horrific, but he hit me on my left side,

853
00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:45,400
Speaker 1: and because his carbon fiber bumper hit my carbon fiber

854
00:42:45,520 --> 00:42:49,480
Speaker 1: leg I flew about four car links ahead of me

855
00:42:49,520 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 1: and was lucky there were no other cars on the

856
00:42:51,000 --> 00:42:53,279
Speaker 1: road and I just smashed into pavement and shattered my

857
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:57,680
Speaker 1: left arm, shoulder, everything hip, and I was in the

858
00:42:57,680 --> 00:42:59,640
Speaker 1: hospital for another three or four months because I couldn't

859
00:42:59,640 --> 00:43:02,120
Speaker 1: get my life gone with only one arm, and then

860
00:43:02,160 --> 00:43:06,240
Speaker 1: twenty twenty hit. But in the good news between twenty

861
00:43:06,320 --> 00:43:09,000
Speaker 1: nineteen and twenty twenty was that I had been advocating

862
00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:11,799
Speaker 1: for a new paradivision in the Boston Marathon. I had

863
00:43:11,800 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 1: looked around at divisions that would include people who look

864
00:43:16,200 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 1: like me and people who ran like me in the

865
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:22,000
Speaker 1: running blades, and I was very heartbroken to learn that

866
00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:24,480
Speaker 1: even the Paralympics doesn't have anything above. I thought it

867
00:43:24,520 --> 00:43:25,520
Speaker 1: was the four hundred, but it's.

868
00:43:25,360 --> 00:43:27,840
Speaker 3: Actually the two hundred meters for us.

869
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 1: They don't have five k's or ten k's or fifteen

870
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:33,920
Speaker 1: hundreds or marathon. They do for people in chairs and

871
00:43:34,000 --> 00:43:37,040
Speaker 1: people who are visually impaired, but they won't print out

872
00:43:37,040 --> 00:43:41,400
Speaker 1: any extra bibs for us, and there aren't any of

873
00:43:41,440 --> 00:43:43,840
Speaker 1: the major marathons or five k's or ten k's. So

874
00:43:44,000 --> 00:43:47,840
Speaker 1: I was advocating really hard for that and had worked

875
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:49,120
Speaker 1: on becoming a faster.

876
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:51,680
Speaker 3: Runner, and I was.

877
00:43:51,680 --> 00:43:54,319
Speaker 1: Really happy that when I was recovering from being hit

878
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:56,839
Speaker 1: by that car. The BAA took me out to launch

879
00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 1: and said, we now have a division, so we would

880
00:43:59,800 --> 00:44:01,160
Speaker 1: love for you to win it. We'd love for you

881
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:03,600
Speaker 1: to run it. We'd love for you to be you know,

882
00:44:03,880 --> 00:44:05,839
Speaker 1: there at that starting line in twenty twenty. And then

883
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:09,320
Speaker 1: we all know what happened in twenty twenty, and then

884
00:44:10,440 --> 00:44:13,840
Speaker 1: that one was postponed the very first time Boston Marathon

885
00:44:13,880 --> 00:44:17,080
Speaker 1: did not ever run, even through the wars, and it

886
00:44:17,160 --> 00:44:18,920
Speaker 1: was a hard time for everyone in twenty twenty. And

887
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 1: then I was training for the twenty twenty one race,

888
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:27,160
Speaker 1: which I was training hard for, but rolled my ankle

889
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 1: about a month out from the race and sprained it.

890
00:44:29,600 --> 00:44:31,360
Speaker 1: I couldn't walk for a few days, and it was

891
00:44:31,440 --> 00:44:34,200
Speaker 1: just really really hard, and my doctors told me there's

892
00:44:34,360 --> 00:44:37,520
Speaker 1: absolutely no way, like you shouldn't even be walking in

893
00:44:37,600 --> 00:44:43,240
Speaker 1: this probably without you know, help, and this is unable

894
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 1: to do it. And then finally toiled the line in

895
00:44:44,960 --> 00:44:47,719
Speaker 1: twenty twenty two. So yeah, step back after step back

896
00:44:47,760 --> 00:44:51,040
Speaker 1: after step back. Oh my god, it was just so

897
00:44:51,239 --> 00:44:55,560
Speaker 1: much and so much to get to this race, even

898
00:44:55,600 --> 00:44:59,640
Speaker 1: to the start line. And my coach and support runner

899
00:44:59,640 --> 00:45:02,200
Speaker 1: and very dear friend, Shelene flanagain had That's why we

900
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 1: made that our a goal was just to get to

901
00:45:04,600 --> 00:45:07,360
Speaker 1: the start line healthy because we knew how many times

902
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,759
Speaker 1: I had tried to do that. And you know, it

903
00:45:10,840 --> 00:45:12,799
Speaker 1: is a lot of us think of the finish line,

904
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:16,200
Speaker 1: but just to get to the start healthy is a

905
00:45:16,400 --> 00:45:18,880
Speaker 1: huge accomplishment. We put our bodies through a lot in

906
00:45:18,960 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 1: marathon training and as runners in general, no matter what

907
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:25,160
Speaker 1: distance you're yeah, no matter what distance you're doing.

908
00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:27,400
Speaker 3: So my history with that goal.

909
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:29,799
Speaker 1: Twenty sixteen was an awesome race and I'm glad I

910
00:45:29,800 --> 00:45:32,160
Speaker 1: did it, and you know, I wouldn't change anything. It

911
00:45:32,200 --> 00:45:34,920
Speaker 1: was a reflection of my training, but yeah, I wanted

912
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:36,480
Speaker 1: to I wanted to compete.

913
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 3: In the marathon for sure.

914
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:40,719
Speaker 2: Twenty twenty two was what you really came for. So

915
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:44,719
Speaker 2: for you five hours, eighteen minutes, forty one seconds of

916
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:48,399
Speaker 2: your life alongside one of the best to do it

917
00:45:48,640 --> 00:45:52,359
Speaker 2: in the game. When you reflect on that day, if

918
00:45:52,360 --> 00:45:56,080
Speaker 2: you had to pick one word to describe it, what

919
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:56,759
Speaker 2: do you go with?

920
00:45:58,600 --> 00:46:01,520
Speaker 3: Oh, man, immediately here and I like to start to

921
00:46:01,560 --> 00:46:02,000
Speaker 3: tear up.

922
00:46:02,840 --> 00:46:05,640
Speaker 1: Perfect And I don't like using that word because I've

923
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:08,240
Speaker 1: talked about my history with that word, but it was perfect.

924
00:46:08,320 --> 00:46:12,320
Speaker 1: Because it was exactly what I needed exactly. I think

925
00:46:13,320 --> 00:46:15,239
Speaker 1: if I just look at it without me in it,

926
00:46:15,440 --> 00:46:18,160
Speaker 1: just observing Boston and all the other runners, I think

927
00:46:18,160 --> 00:46:20,279
Speaker 1: it was perfect for them, even though I'm sure that

928
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,880
Speaker 1: everyone had different days out there. I mean perfect, as

929
00:46:22,920 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 1: in the crowds were back, it was back on Patriots

930
00:46:25,160 --> 00:46:25,560
Speaker 1: Day again.

931
00:46:26,120 --> 00:46:26,640
Speaker 3: It was.

932
00:46:28,280 --> 00:46:33,000
Speaker 1: So you can never have the like perfect air, quote

933
00:46:33,040 --> 00:46:36,080
Speaker 1: perfect weather. I had dialed in the humidity and the

934
00:46:36,120 --> 00:46:39,000
Speaker 1: weather and it was the exact numbers I wanted, Like

935
00:46:39,040 --> 00:46:43,160
Speaker 1: that never happens, and so that was.

936
00:46:43,120 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 3: Amazing to be able to do that and have it

937
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:46,200
Speaker 3: be that weather.

938
00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:50,399
Speaker 1: And that greatly affects how my leg performs and whether

939
00:46:50,400 --> 00:46:51,640
Speaker 1: I'm slowing down for that or not.

940
00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:54,560
Speaker 3: So that was a huge benefit. But yeah, it was.

941
00:46:54,680 --> 00:46:57,719
Speaker 1: It was the most perfect day. And I had the

942
00:46:57,719 --> 00:47:00,160
Speaker 1: best of the best in the business right next to

943
00:47:00,160 --> 00:47:05,240
Speaker 1: me to enjoy it with. And you know, Chilaine had

944
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:09,560
Speaker 1: major history with the race as well. She had you know,

945
00:47:09,640 --> 00:47:13,120
Speaker 1: wanted to win it herself, and she was there. Her

946
00:47:13,160 --> 00:47:17,359
Speaker 1: first Boston Marathon was in twenty thirteen, and she had

947
00:47:17,400 --> 00:47:19,719
Speaker 1: a really good day and crossed the finish line and

948
00:47:21,200 --> 00:47:22,840
Speaker 1: the blast went off and she was at the Copley

949
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:26,640
Speaker 1: Square Hotel, and she was actually the first professional runner

950
00:47:26,719 --> 00:47:30,680
Speaker 1: to let the Boston Athletic Association know I'll be back

951
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:33,439
Speaker 1: in twenty fourteen, like I will be back to run

952
00:47:33,480 --> 00:47:36,399
Speaker 1: this race. And she used to hand out water right

953
00:47:36,480 --> 00:47:38,799
Speaker 1: near the finish line back when they had a water

954
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:41,520
Speaker 1: stop that close to the finish line to runners and

955
00:47:41,600 --> 00:47:43,960
Speaker 1: when her dad was running, so she had major history

956
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:47,120
Speaker 1: with this race and with my story as well as

957
00:47:47,200 --> 00:47:51,439
Speaker 1: developing such a close friendship. So it was just such

958
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:54,359
Speaker 1: a full circle moment of not being a runner and

959
00:47:54,400 --> 00:47:58,840
Speaker 1: then suddenly being there with her was just it was amazing.

960
00:48:00,000 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 2: But it has running given you.

961
00:48:03,320 --> 00:48:04,280
Speaker 3: Running has given.

962
00:48:04,080 --> 00:48:06,600
Speaker 1: Me the ability to show up as I am, not

963
00:48:06,640 --> 00:48:08,520
Speaker 1: only for the run in the morning it straightly out

964
00:48:08,560 --> 00:48:11,319
Speaker 1: of the bed and no makeup and flat shoes and

965
00:48:11,360 --> 00:48:15,840
Speaker 1: sweating in public, but it's given me the ability to

966
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:18,279
Speaker 1: show up in life as I am, as I want

967
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:21,719
Speaker 1: to be, as I am in my personality, as I

968
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:28,719
Speaker 1: am in my body being scarred for multiple traumas and

969
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:31,400
Speaker 1: broken and missing pieces. It's given me the ability to

970
00:48:31,400 --> 00:48:33,480
Speaker 1: show up and prove that I can still be strong.

971
00:48:33,760 --> 00:48:37,160
Speaker 1: And it's given me incredible friendship that are truer than

972
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:40,319
Speaker 1: anything I've ever known. It's given me confidence.

973
00:48:40,120 --> 00:48:43,520
Speaker 4: To try other things that I probably wouldn't have tried

974
00:48:43,680 --> 00:48:46,800
Speaker 4: if I hadn't just crushed twenty six point two miles

975
00:48:46,920 --> 00:48:49,640
Speaker 4: or even just a mile or whatever it was that

976
00:48:49,680 --> 00:48:50,400
Speaker 4: I did that morning.

977
00:48:50,719 --> 00:48:52,520
Speaker 2: What excites you right now?

978
00:48:52,840 --> 00:48:55,320
Speaker 3: Right now? In running?

979
00:48:55,480 --> 00:48:58,719
Speaker 1: I am very excited that the Boston Methodic Association just

980
00:48:58,719 --> 00:49:02,960
Speaker 1: announced that the Boss the BA ten k, will now

981
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:05,640
Speaker 1: be competitive for people like me, So we now have

982
00:49:05,680 --> 00:49:10,239
Speaker 1: a competitive division, which is very exciting. I'm excited that

983
00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:14,120
Speaker 1: my post COVID hack, my cough and my lungs are

984
00:49:14,120 --> 00:49:19,200
Speaker 1: starting to clear. I was very concerned because I was

985
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:21,839
Speaker 1: really struggling. It was really struggling. I haven't really let

986
00:49:21,840 --> 00:49:24,600
Speaker 1: that on, but I've been really struggling with trying to

987
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:28,799
Speaker 1: run any distance since Boston because of COVID. I got

988
00:49:28,840 --> 00:49:31,919
Speaker 1: it really really badly boosted and boxed and all those things,

989
00:49:32,000 --> 00:49:32,960
Speaker 1: but man, it hit me.

990
00:49:34,320 --> 00:49:38,120
Speaker 3: I'm excited. I'm excited to decorate this new house.

991
00:49:38,160 --> 00:49:42,120
Speaker 1: I just moved in with my boyfriend right before the marathon,

992
00:49:43,280 --> 00:49:46,920
Speaker 1: and so it's been fun. That's been really fun and

993
00:49:47,160 --> 00:49:51,560
Speaker 1: developing that relationship further and deeper. And I love decorating

994
00:49:51,600 --> 00:49:52,840
Speaker 1: a new house. That's exciting.

995
00:49:54,480 --> 00:49:58,720
Speaker 2: What's your favorite piece of running gear right now, Adrian.

996
00:49:58,480 --> 00:50:01,120
Speaker 3: Oh, running gear? Oh well, well, I just got a

997
00:50:01,120 --> 00:50:01,840
Speaker 3: bunch of bronment.

998
00:50:02,120 --> 00:50:04,120
Speaker 1: You know, before the marathon, I got some really sick

999
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 1: hits from Bronment. So those are those are very exciting.

1000
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:11,439
Speaker 1: I'm excited to sport the crop come in the summer heat.

1001
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:13,720
Speaker 1: The BA ten k is actually run on my birthday,

1002
00:50:13,760 --> 00:50:17,360
Speaker 1: so I'm pretty stoked. I know it's pretty fun, so

1003
00:50:17,560 --> 00:50:19,440
Speaker 1: go for the win for that. Although it's now that

1004
00:50:19,640 --> 00:50:22,640
Speaker 1: the ten k is happening, there are people that I

1005
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:24,720
Speaker 1: don't even know that I don't know what the competition

1006
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:26,480
Speaker 1: is going to be like because it's a different distance

1007
00:50:26,480 --> 00:50:28,480
Speaker 1: and there are new people showing up. And that's what

1008
00:50:28,520 --> 00:50:31,239
Speaker 1: I wanted when I fought for this division. But you

1009
00:50:31,280 --> 00:50:33,160
Speaker 1: know what, I'd love to take a race so it

1010
00:50:33,160 --> 00:50:37,879
Speaker 1: doesn't need to be too competitive and and so I'm

1011
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:41,000
Speaker 1: looking forward to yeah, rocking the crop. So I think

1012
00:50:41,040 --> 00:50:44,880
Speaker 1: my new my favorite running thing right now is is

1013
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:49,480
Speaker 1: definitely the BTC gear. And I just got a peloton tread.

1014
00:50:49,440 --> 00:50:51,480
Speaker 2: So welcome to the peloton fam.

1015
00:50:51,920 --> 00:50:53,560
Speaker 3: I'm deep in the peloton fam.

1016
00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:57,719
Speaker 1: Now I'm I'm doing I've told anyone this yet, but

1017
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:00,919
Speaker 1: I can say it here. I brought on to give

1018
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:05,839
Speaker 1: some feedback on how Peloton works with people with disabilities,

1019
00:51:05,880 --> 00:51:08,320
Speaker 1: so I'm eager to try out all of their things

1020
00:51:08,400 --> 00:51:11,359
Speaker 1: and be able to work with them on making it

1021
00:51:11,400 --> 00:51:14,800
Speaker 1: more inclusive in the future, so both with software and hardware.

1022
00:51:15,600 --> 00:51:18,320
Speaker 1: So it's very exciting, and I love the Peloton fam.

1023
00:51:18,680 --> 00:51:20,440
Speaker 1: Becks and I've been friends for a while and I

1024
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:23,400
Speaker 1: just I'm super stoked. So it's very exciting.

1025
00:51:24,000 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 2: What would you say is one of your favorite Are

1026
00:51:28,080 --> 00:51:30,000
Speaker 2: you a podcast or a music runner?

1027
00:51:31,080 --> 00:51:33,040
Speaker 3: Ooh? Both? But music?

1028
00:51:33,120 --> 00:51:36,280
Speaker 1: I think with dance like, I'm so highly motivated with music.

1029
00:51:36,520 --> 00:51:39,359
Speaker 1: Shlene and I were joking that we needed We kept

1030
00:51:39,400 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 1: sending each other playlist because obviously we were across the

1031
00:51:41,400 --> 00:51:46,719
Speaker 1: country from each other, and so she ran with her

1032
00:51:46,719 --> 00:51:48,600
Speaker 1: phone She's never run a marathon with her phone before,

1033
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:50,600
Speaker 1: and then we played. She tried to play me some

1034
00:51:50,680 --> 00:51:53,040
Speaker 1: music when it was I was having some hard times,

1035
00:51:53,040 --> 00:51:54,880
Speaker 1: but the crowds were so loud we couldn't hear it, which.

1036
00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:58,200
Speaker 3: Is a good thing to happen. I am definitely motivated

1037
00:51:58,200 --> 00:51:58,680
Speaker 3: by music.

1038
00:51:59,040 --> 00:52:01,799
Speaker 2: Do you have a like number one running song?

1039
00:52:03,280 --> 00:52:07,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know it's so not unique. It's stronger

1040
00:52:07,680 --> 00:52:08,360
Speaker 1: by the score.

1041
00:52:09,040 --> 00:52:09,799
Speaker 2: I love that for you.

1042
00:52:10,480 --> 00:52:11,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so good.

1043
00:52:12,040 --> 00:52:15,480
Speaker 1: I mean, and I ain't going to die tonight by Mackelmore,

1044
00:52:16,520 --> 00:52:17,440
Speaker 1: who I grew up near.

1045
00:52:17,560 --> 00:52:20,880
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, for fun fact, yeah, fun fact.

1046
00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 2: Oh my god. Right now, if someone goes to your

1047
00:52:26,600 --> 00:52:32,360
Speaker 2: Instagram page, they see a woman that is an adaptive athlete.

1048
00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:35,120
Speaker 2: When you look in the mirror, what is it that

1049
00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 2: you see looking back at you.

1050
00:52:38,480 --> 00:52:47,680
Speaker 3: Oh wow, that's a great question. I see.

1051
00:52:47,920 --> 00:52:53,600
Speaker 1: I see someone who's fought really, really hard to get here.

1052
00:52:56,920 --> 00:53:01,640
Speaker 3: I have thought really really hard throughout.

1053
00:53:01,360 --> 00:53:03,319
Speaker 1: My life to get to where I am now, and

1054
00:53:04,480 --> 00:53:10,919
Speaker 1: I'm really proud of that. Yeah, I see someone who's

1055
00:53:10,960 --> 00:53:18,880
Speaker 1: doing her very best two not be perfect and to

1056
00:53:18,960 --> 00:53:23,200
Speaker 1: show up as yourself and to keep advocating for others

1057
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:25,960
Speaker 1: who are like me. I know what it's like to

1058
00:53:26,040 --> 00:53:30,520
Speaker 1: be in a hospital room and feel completely broken when

1059
00:53:30,560 --> 00:53:35,200
Speaker 1: you've identified as having a perfect body. That is really hard.

1060
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:37,640
Speaker 1: And I want to be there for other women and girls,

1061
00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:40,080
Speaker 1: And I mentor a lot of girls through the early

1062
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 1: days of being amputees. And when I look in the mirror,

1063
00:53:43,280 --> 00:53:44,960
Speaker 1: I am really proud that I can do that.

1064
00:53:46,200 --> 00:53:50,000
Speaker 2: Right now, Adrian, you have an opportunity to offer yourself

1065
00:53:50,080 --> 00:53:54,240
Speaker 2: a piece of advice. Laying in that hospital room, knowing

1066
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:58,480
Speaker 2: what you know. Now, what do you tell yourself going

1067
00:53:58,560 --> 00:53:59,959
Speaker 2: through that Hurtle moment?

1068
00:54:04,040 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 1: Hold on tight, It's okay to edit ruthlessly and frequently

1069
00:54:12,920 --> 00:54:15,480
Speaker 1: kick them, kick them all out and start over.

1070
00:54:15,719 --> 00:54:17,880
Speaker 3: Like it's never too late to do that. That's going

1071
00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:21,319
Speaker 3: to sound like I was divorced. My husband divorced me, But.

1072
00:54:22,680 --> 00:54:27,600
Speaker 1: I I kick them all out and edit ruthlessly because

1073
00:54:27,640 --> 00:54:32,319
Speaker 1: you need to protect yourself and and you have to

1074
00:54:32,360 --> 00:54:33,360
Speaker 1: protect your mental health.

1075
00:54:33,680 --> 00:54:36,520
Speaker 3: It's just really important your mental health.

1076
00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:39,280
Speaker 1: If you if you are surrounded by people who aren't healthy,

1077
00:54:39,360 --> 00:54:42,440
Speaker 1: you are going to be unhealthy in body and mind.

1078
00:54:43,040 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 1: And if you're unhealthy in your mind, you're going to

1079
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:46,440
Speaker 1: be unhealthy in your body. I mean, that's just they're

1080
00:54:46,520 --> 00:54:49,759
Speaker 1: they're not they're not parallel, they're linked.

1081
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:50,560
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1082
00:54:50,719 --> 00:54:54,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, for sure, Adrian. The world is so much better

1083
00:54:54,080 --> 00:54:57,000
Speaker 2: for your light and for your perspective. And I'm so

1084
00:54:57,040 --> 00:54:59,719
Speaker 2: excited that we were able to finally come together and

1085
00:54:59,800 --> 00:55:02,680
Speaker 2: do this. For anyone who's not yet following along with

1086
00:55:02,719 --> 00:55:05,080
Speaker 2: you on the socials, how do they do that? How

1087
00:55:05,080 --> 00:55:07,320
Speaker 2: do they keep up with you? Give us the details.

1088
00:55:07,960 --> 00:55:08,359
Speaker 3: I am.

1089
00:55:09,440 --> 00:55:12,040
Speaker 1: I am an Instagram addict. I am not sorry about that.

1090
00:55:13,080 --> 00:55:14,840
Speaker 1: I told my therapist early on that that was not

1091
00:55:14,920 --> 00:55:16,000
Speaker 1: something we were going to work on.

1092
00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:17,480
Speaker 3: We had plenty of other things.

1093
00:55:20,080 --> 00:55:22,680
Speaker 1: So I am on Instagram under my own name, Adrian Haslett,

1094
00:55:22,719 --> 00:55:25,520
Speaker 1: Adrian HD on Twitter, and I'm will.

1095
00:55:25,320 --> 00:55:27,319
Speaker 3: Never be on Facebook. I think I exist on there,

1096
00:55:27,360 --> 00:55:29,520
Speaker 3: but he to know on.

1097
00:55:29,520 --> 00:55:33,880
Speaker 2: That one, Helton know. I'm over at Emily Body and

1098
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:38,040
Speaker 2: over at Hurdle Podcast Another Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys

1099
00:55:38,040 --> 00:55:38,480
Speaker 2: next time