Speaker 1: Episode two ninety two, The Science of Simplicity and Your Money.
Speaker 1: Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to
Speaker 1: save money, embrace simplicity, rice, and liver rich your life.
Speaker 1: Here are your host Jen and Jill. Mmmmmmm, Welcome to
Speaker 1: the Frugal Friends podcast. My name is Jen, my name
Speaker 1: is Jill. And today we're talking about simplicity and we
Speaker 1: love that science and simplicity are alliteration, but I think
Speaker 1: it's maybe less science and more psychology, which is also
Speaker 1: behavioral science, social science. Thank you, all right, great science. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm not a scientist, so this was a stretch. I
Speaker 1: like words, so that's where that's where we stretched with this.
Speaker 1: Although there are a lot of differences between like chemists
Speaker 1: and psychologists, I assumed aiances there. We go, okay, well
Speaker 1: that's what we're talking about today. Yes, we talk about
Speaker 1: all the time how simplicity helps you manage your money better,
Speaker 1: and today we wanted to go through some of the
Speaker 1: research backed reasons behind that. But first, our sponsor biting
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Speaker 1: waiting for you. They should all be available by the
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Speaker 1: to all. You'll be able to binge all ten of them. Yes,
Speaker 1: be binge watch, not just binge listen binge watch. Yes,
Speaker 1: and they get The quality gets better as we go
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Speaker 1: So if simplicity is something you're looking to achieve more
Speaker 1: of in your life, we do talk about it a
Speaker 1: lot on the podcast. A few of our favorite interviews
Speaker 1: that where we talk about simplicities episode two forty eight,
Speaker 1: where we talk to Bob and Linda Lodick about simplifying
Speaker 1: your money. They have this great idea for like a
Speaker 1: literally a one category budget, which blew my mind when
Speaker 1: we have them on. And then also episode fifty nine
Speaker 1: creating Soulful Simplicity in your Life with Courtney Carver. She
Speaker 1: is the creator of the Project three three three Capsule
Speaker 1: Wardrobe Challenge, author of Soulful Simplicity. So that was a
Speaker 1: really great interview from way way back, and hear about
Speaker 1: simplicity and most of our episodes, so just feel free
Speaker 1: to keep and you'll hear more about from the very beginning.
Speaker 1: Since at least episode fifty nine, we have been talking
Speaker 1: about it. So today we're just taking a smidge of
Speaker 1: a spin on it to talk about some of the studies,
Speaker 1: some of the practical elements, and yeah, that's what we're
Speaker 1: going into. So kick us off, Jill. This first article
Speaker 1: comes from happiness dot com and gives us six reasons
Speaker 1: that simplicity is beneficial, like six key benefits of simplifying
Speaker 1: your life, and we're going to go through all six.
Speaker 1: I think I agree with all of them. Wow, I
Speaker 1: know that's great. Yeah, yeah, that's very rare that we
Speaker 1: agree with all of the ones on a list, So
Speaker 1: good job happiness dot com. I too agree with them.
Speaker 1: So the first one is to simplify to learn more
Speaker 1: about yourself. So when we did our spending makeover Live
Speaker 1: in January, one, if not the hardest thing everyone said
Speaker 1: was actually figuring out your core values. And we think
Speaker 1: finding what you value is essential to spending money on
Speaker 1: things you love and saying no to the things that
Speaker 1: you don't, and that really that is really hard. It's
Speaker 1: a simple thing to say, it's an easy thing to say,
Speaker 1: but when you are so used to focusing on other
Speaker 1: people and other things, it can be hard to focus
Speaker 1: on yourself in the ways that it matters. And so
Speaker 1: when you simplify, you really do give yourself more space
Speaker 1: to learn about yourself and to learn about those values
Speaker 1: and develop values based spending we were. When I was
Speaker 1: researching for this episode, I found an article on Psychology
Speaker 1: Today that wasn't like a list, so it wasn't really
Speaker 1: great for the purposes of the show, but it was
Speaker 1: like of a woman who is Jewish by heritage but
Speaker 1: not by practice, and decided one weekend that they would
Speaker 1: her and her son would observe the Sabbath, like the
Speaker 1: traditional Jewish Sabbath. It has gosh. I think she said,
Speaker 1: like fifty different rules, and she's like, I never observed
Speaker 1: it because the rules seemed so restrictive and just seemed
Speaker 1: like deprivation. And what she found when she followed all
Speaker 1: these rules, they were essentially forcing her to simplify. It
Speaker 1: was forced simplification, and it almost felt indulgent, and that
Speaker 1: she had the space where her mind would normally just
Speaker 1: go to her phone, or if she had a question,
Speaker 1: it would go to Google, or she would call her mom,
Speaker 1: like all these things that she normally used to distract
Speaker 1: her brain. She had to just sit with herself. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I don't think we often give ourselves the space to
Speaker 1: do that, and we don't have to. There is so
Speaker 1: much that can take up our capacity, cities, and energy
Speaker 1: and attention. And there is something within at least American culture,
Speaker 1: of a hierarchy of value. The busier you are, I think, Oh,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of movements pushing against that, but it's
Speaker 1: still ingrained in us, like if you're busy, that means
Speaker 1: you're important. And so what that then does and can
Speaker 1: lead to is not much time for process or reflection
Speaker 1: or enjoying the simple things in life, the beauties that
Speaker 1: are all around. But it's so much stress, overwhelmed, fatigue.
Speaker 1: But then we just keep keep going without even thinking about, well,
Speaker 1: what's causing this and what could shift and what do
Speaker 1: I actually want? And I really appreciated how the author
Speaker 1: pointed out too in the beginning, before they even got
Speaker 1: into these six steps, just what they're noticing in themselves
Speaker 1: as they age, which I can relate to as I'm
Speaker 1: getting older, I think that there is this draw pull
Speaker 1: attraction to wanting less, wanting opportunities to exhale, wanting to
Speaker 1: know more about myself the environment in which I came from,
Speaker 1: which I think you also see like a lot of
Speaker 1: people leaning into figuring out their ancestry or being more
Speaker 1: interested in the culture in which they came from, which
Speaker 1: I think is a really beautiful process that can happen
Speaker 1: as we age. I also like how they reference this
Speaker 1: aim at simplicity. It's not new. This is one of
Speaker 1: those ancient paths that many religious groups and cultures will follow,
Speaker 1: like from the monastic orders in the Middle Ages to
Speaker 1: modern day Amish people or Quakers. The simple living, the
Speaker 1: simple life is essential to some of these practices, and
Speaker 1: you know, we can take what works for us and
Speaker 1: leave behind what doesn't. But I think it's also really
Speaker 1: interesting and helpful to recognize that there are some practices
Speaker 1: that humanity has engaged with over the decades and centuries
Speaker 1: that is just good for humans. And so when we
Speaker 1: talk about simplicity, it's across the board of schedule and
Speaker 1: within our lives and just creating space to exhale. So
Speaker 1: all of that said, there's like, there's so much foundation
Speaker 1: I think to lay here. But then the so now
Speaker 1: skipping to number two, that a simpler lifestyle what we're
Speaker 1: talking about here, can lead to improved relationships, and they
Speaker 1: reference an essay by Ammytai at Zeoli. You are probably
Speaker 1: voluntary simplicity is what this essay is about and how
Speaker 1: in that quest to push against the acquiring of material possessions,
Speaker 1: we are often more likely to focus on relationships. And
Speaker 1: so when ending excessive time on social media or being
Speaker 1: occupied just by being busy, oftentimes our relationships those actually
Speaker 1: around us can suffer. And so when we reduce those things,
Speaker 1: it frees us up to spend more time with friends
Speaker 1: and family. But then they also reference when we give
Speaker 1: space for a pause and margin and we're experiencing more
Speaker 1: time with friends and family, it can also lead to
Speaker 1: a bit of editing of friendship groups. I have a
Speaker 1: good friend who was recognizing in her own life kind
Speaker 1: of taking inventory and keeping a pulse on how do
Speaker 1: I feel after engaging with each of these friends shout
Speaker 1: out to Ashland. She was describing that she was starting
Speaker 1: to notice that with like some hangouts, it was leading
Speaker 1: to like anxiety afterwards, and sometimes she felt like so
Speaker 1: filled up and really like life was poured back into her.
Speaker 1: And I know we've said this before. It's not as
Speaker 1: if we don't have any relationships that have some form
Speaker 1: of depletion or need surrounding them, but at least intension
Speaker 1: with very life giving relationships. But like you're not going
Speaker 1: to create that pause unless you've got some of that
Speaker 1: curiosity and you've cleared some space for yourself to say,
Speaker 1: how did that interaction make me feel? What is this
Speaker 1: group of friends providing to me? How is this going
Speaker 1: to benefit my life even long term? I think it's
Speaker 1: a great thing to be focusing on. But we're not
Speaker 1: going to be able to do that if we're just
Speaker 1: so cluttered. Right, it's so easy, like you leave someone
Speaker 1: and you immediately will get on social media or thinking
Speaker 1: about Okay, what's for dinner, what's the next thing? And
Speaker 1: we fill fill our heads every single moment that we
Speaker 1: don't give the opportunity even for like uncomfortable thoughts. Yeah, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: that's so interesting. So this next one is that simple
Speaker 1: living boosts your bank balance. Oh yeah, so this one
Speaker 1: actually does have a study. According to a UK study
Speaker 1: from twenty eighteen which question two thousand people, which one
Speaker 1: thousand is my minimum for including survey results, they said
Speaker 1: money worries affect forty percent of the population. And so
Speaker 1: if you simplify, and I think that article really that
Speaker 1: I that I read yesterday really made me think about
Speaker 1: the indulgence of simplicity. That we don't want to deprive ourselves, right,
Speaker 1: and so sometimes simple living, minimalism, what have you. They
Speaker 1: are not the same thing, but they can be equated
Speaker 1: with deprivation as con saving money but really giving yourself
Speaker 1: over to the luxuriation. Yeah, like all of the the
Speaker 1: indulgences that simplific patient and minimalism and this stuff can provide.
Speaker 1: It just takes a mindset shift of Like this woman
Speaker 1: sitting in her house, like she got to read through
Speaker 1: so much more of a book than she would have
Speaker 1: because she's like, when I read, I think I should
Speaker 1: be writing. Because she's, you know, writing for psychology today.
Speaker 1: Obviously she's like, I feel guilty and I should be writing.
Speaker 1: But when I'm you know, doing the Sabbath, I can't write,
Speaker 1: so I'm forced into further self care almost. So that's
Speaker 1: so true, Like just to sit and listen to music
Speaker 1: feels indulgent, but there is something very simple to that
Speaker 1: and it can clear up mind space and create rest. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And so we're in that perspective when we're creating, like
Speaker 1: we're when we're focusing on the indulgences and the luxuriation
Speaker 1: of simplicity. Were done with it? I am now we
Speaker 1: don't have to rely on spending money to fill those gaps,
Speaker 1: which we so often do when we feel like we
Speaker 1: need to treat ourselves. But there are other ways to
Speaker 1: treat yourself that almost feel like guilty. You feel guilty
Speaker 1: about doing Yeah, oh, that's so true. Number four on
Speaker 1: here is living a simple life is great for your health,
Speaker 1: and they reference a study from twenty fourteen, which is
Speaker 1: just on the cusp of my standards for research studies
Speaker 1: that they're fifteen years older, newer, so we're right there,
Speaker 1: which is crazy. Two's fourteen oh Man okay, published in
Speaker 1: the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, where they found
Speaker 1: a link between materialism and they define that as valuing
Speaker 1: possessions and money, and they're that connection to poor physical health.
Speaker 1: And another team from Knox College in Illinois also found
Speaker 1: an even stronger link between material and engagement in risky
Speaker 1: behaviors that could damage physical health, like drinking, alcohol, smoking,
Speaker 1: drug use, And so then they're kind of saying it
Speaker 1: makes sense then that in the reverse of that, having
Speaker 1: a more non materialistic attitude could lead to more positive
Speaker 1: health outcomes, which I think is wild. But I've also
Speaker 1: been thinking recently and having conversations with people about just
Speaker 1: some of the trueness I'm making not my own word too,
Speaker 1: of that concept of more money, more problems, and money
Speaker 1: isn't the issue, like it's what we do with it.
Speaker 1: But I think that there is this principle where the
Speaker 1: more that you have, whether it's money or resources, the
Speaker 1: more responsible you are for those things. And there's a
Speaker 1: weight and a pressure, whether realized or unrealized, of what
Speaker 1: am I now going to do with these things things
Speaker 1: that I've been entrusted with the goal of frugality is
Speaker 1: to be good stewards of that. But if we've not
Speaker 1: created space for mindfulness and intentionality, I think sometimes that
Speaker 1: can lead to that subconscious, not realized weight and responsibility
Speaker 1: that leads to some of those risky behaviors like Okay,
Speaker 1: well I've got this and I'm not putting much thought
Speaker 1: into like what am I going to do with it?
Speaker 1: And this is what the world is telling me is
Speaker 1: good and helpful and will be effective and efficient for
Speaker 1: my life, And then it leads to some of this.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, some of the craziest behaviors come from
Speaker 1: the wealthiest people. So there is like there is a
Speaker 1: phenomena here we're looking at you old Justin Bieber. I
Speaker 1: don't know, I'm even thinking like the billionaires. I think
Speaker 1: that there's just something too. You just have an absurd
Speaker 1: amount of money, and okay, I know that, like no
Speaker 1: billionaires are like listening to our podcast, but like you know,
Speaker 1: thinking of that on a smaller scale, that the more
Speaker 1: that that's the focus of our time, energy and efforts,
Speaker 1: there is this strong link between then maybe not making
Speaker 1: the best decisions. If our aim is just collecting everything
Speaker 1: I can possibly collect and having all the luxurious materials
Speaker 1: in my home, then that type of mentality could lead
Speaker 1: to risk your yea, it's the materialism mentality, not necessarily
Speaker 1: the income east mentality. Exactly when I was writing my
Speaker 1: first book, The No Spend Challenge Guide, I came across
Speaker 1: a study and at this point it probably falls outside
Speaker 1: your your time limit, but it studied a group of
Speaker 1: people who had a lot of clutter in their homes
Speaker 1: like border like borderline hoarders, and then just the like
Speaker 1: on the same like spectrum to all two people who
Speaker 1: didn't have a lot of things in their homes, and
Speaker 1: they found that the people who had a lot of
Speaker 1: stuff in their homes like the spectrum kind of correlated
Speaker 1: to less emphasis on health. So the more stuff they
Speaker 1: had in their home, the less they tried to be healthy.
Speaker 1: So that was another way that I found simplicity, Like
Speaker 1: in your stuff really does help because we all know
Speaker 1: that health is wealth, and obviously being healthy does save
Speaker 1: you money in the long run too, just for practical reasons.
Speaker 1: I mean, I just don't have a lot of stuff
Speaker 1: in my own because I don't want to dust a lot.
Speaker 1: I be cleaning. Yeah, I had to, Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I had to change the sheets on my bed more
Speaker 1: than once in a month. And I am pregnant too,
Speaker 1: so like it was just like I can't have too
Speaker 1: many beds in this house. I don't have too many bedrooms. Technically,
Speaker 1: don't they say you should change your sheets every two weeks? Okay,
Speaker 1: we had this conversation before. We don't have to hide it,
Speaker 1: we truly are we? Oh yeah, I'm like every two months.
Speaker 1: But I think the stand last time we talked about this,
Speaker 1: you said every month, and now you're saying every two months.
Speaker 1: I'm starting. Okay, we're getting more. We're gonna move on
Speaker 1: before you reveal anything else you don't want to, So
Speaker 1: number five is simplistic living means increased focus, which is
Speaker 1: so true. The more we have to focus on, the
Speaker 1: more we will just not focus on anything. And that's
Speaker 1: like we think we need to have all of these
Speaker 1: plates spinning at the same time, but the more you have,
Speaker 1: you're going to focus on none of them, not even
Speaker 1: one of them, is going to get your full attention.
Speaker 1: And this is why we talk so much about prioritizing
Speaker 1: and not trying to balance. Balance is a myth. Prioritize
Speaker 1: what's important to you, when it's important to you, change
Speaker 1: switch it up as you need to. But prioritize focus,
Speaker 1: and that means you're probably not going to be able
Speaker 1: to work on ten things at once. So simplify your goals,
Speaker 1: simplify your schedule, your activities so that you can have
Speaker 1: reasonable priorities and be able to focus on them as needed.
Speaker 1: And the last one on here, number six, Living a
Speaker 1: simple life helps the environment. There is a symbiotic relationship
Speaker 1: between simple living and being good stewards of the space
Speaker 1: that we take up. As we are more content and
Speaker 1: need less, we consume less, which means less waste. I
Speaker 1: think a big industry where we consume a lot it
Speaker 1: the industry itself utilizes a ton of energy, and we
Speaker 1: often throw away is fashion and clothing, and so when
Speaker 1: we are not buying so much fast fashion, then we're
Speaker 1: not contributing as much to the textile industry, which is
Speaker 1: one of the biggest polluters, and it just leads to
Speaker 1: them more sustainability as we're not consuming and throwing away.
Speaker 1: And again we've mentioned it before, it's kind to then
Speaker 1: like the we're not then taking advantage of people either,
Speaker 1: Like there's there's both the environment, there's the workers, there's
Speaker 1: all of it paying fair wages as a part of
Speaker 1: this equation. So there's so much interconnectedness between what benefits
Speaker 1: us also benefits others, and when we can find that
Speaker 1: beautiful intersection one an amazing thing. Yes, and most of
Speaker 1: these that we read out do have like studies associated
Speaker 1: with them, So if you're interested in those, definitely check
Speaker 1: out the article. It will be in our show notes.
Speaker 1: And this next article that we're going to go through
Speaker 1: is how to Simplify your life and spend Less And
Speaker 1: it came from Jen she wrote it, you know, talk
Speaker 1: about it Modern Frugality. It's her blog. It's so I
Speaker 1: read other articles because I didn't want to be the
Speaker 1: person that uses their own article, but I'm here for it.
Speaker 1: It was the best one, you know, like it was,
Speaker 1: and maybe it was the one that said what I
Speaker 1: wanted to say the best exactly. So there's tons of
Speaker 1: tips in here. We're each going to go through three
Speaker 1: of our favorites, and I'm going to pick first because
Speaker 1: I feel like you've got the upper hand on this one.
Speaker 1: Oh wow, Okay. The first one is to declutter your home.
Speaker 1: You've already kind of identified this one already. But the
Speaker 1: less physical clutter that you have in your home, the
Speaker 1: more focus that you can have, the less you have
Speaker 1: to less time and energy you have to spend on
Speaker 1: maintaining and cleaning and replacing and fixing, and all of
Speaker 1: that saved time and money can lead to increase contentment,
Speaker 1: which then leads to less spending, which then leads to
Speaker 1: you being able to spend your time how you want
Speaker 1: to spend it. So decluttering. I know that we're all different.
Speaker 1: There's definitely a spectrum of what is the most beneficial
Speaker 1: for each one of us, what simplicity looks like, what
Speaker 1: minimalism looks like. But for me, at least I can
Speaker 1: speak from my own experience. When my space is free
Speaker 1: of just clutter, the more I'm able to, yeah, focus
Speaker 1: on my task at hand, get into my work, not
Speaker 1: be as distracted, and not even feel as stressed or overwhelmed.
Speaker 1: Even if I have a lot on my schedule. If
Speaker 1: my physical space isn't as cluttered, then I feel more
Speaker 1: able to engage with whatever my obligations or responsibilities are
Speaker 1: that day. So just here's your encouragement. It can be
Speaker 1: a lot of work at first, but once you put
Speaker 1: in the big effort, it's maintenance after that, and it
Speaker 1: can make such a huge difference. Yeah, And one of
Speaker 1: the studies that we didn't cover that the last artical
Speaker 1: reference did state that participants in their study who had
Speaker 1: less clutter were able to focus better on tests. So
Speaker 1: that's just another like science reason that having less physical
Speaker 1: stuff affects your mind and also affects your ability to
Speaker 1: make financial decisions, make spending decisions. We don't think so
Speaker 1: much about that, but the more clutter we have in
Speaker 1: our space in our mind, of course, the poorer our
Speaker 1: decisions are going to be. Financially. Yeah, the more clutter
Speaker 1: we have in our finances, the less likely we are
Speaker 1: to want to look at it because it feels overwhelming.
Speaker 1: But even simplifying the way that our spending and finances
Speaker 1: and bill pay process looks like can also make us
Speaker 1: feel more confident and at ease in the way that
Speaker 1: we're navigating that aspect of our lives. Yeah, the next
Speaker 1: one for me, and this is one that's hitting me
Speaker 1: really hard right now personally, So we're a little vulnerable
Speaker 1: before social media. I very much dislike social media. I
Speaker 1: really hate participating in it. I really hate consuming it
Speaker 1: and creating it. I think it can be really helpful,
Speaker 1: but I think it's few and far between that it's helpful.
Speaker 1: Ninety five percent of it is mind numbing entertainment, things
Speaker 1: that distract us from what's going on in reality, and
Speaker 1: then like five percent of it is very helpful content.
Speaker 1: So like, there is good stuff out there on social media.
Speaker 1: Like I would never say that everything is trash, but
Speaker 1: so much of it is and not trash, it's just
Speaker 1: so distracted and it is clutter. It is clutter. It's
Speaker 1: mind clutter, and so decluttering your social media, fasting from
Speaker 1: social media, whatever you feel like you need to do
Speaker 1: to get out of social media is going to help
Speaker 1: you simplify other things in your life by just simplifying
Speaker 1: that one thing, Like, what's the one thing that's going
Speaker 1: to make other things down the line easy or unnecessary.
Speaker 1: I really think minimizing social media is one of those things,
Speaker 1: because then you're minimizing ads the cause you to spend.
Speaker 1: You're minimizing seeing like your friends have new things that
Speaker 1: you want. They're not even trying to sell you. They
Speaker 1: just are having it, but you see it and then
Speaker 1: you want it. So it minimizes that aspect. But then
Speaker 1: it also minimizes just the habit of just picking up
Speaker 1: your phone and ignoring what's going on and like consuming
Speaker 1: social media. And that's so much of what I do
Speaker 1: that it's very hard to strike a balance between like
Speaker 1: having a job like this where people want to see
Speaker 1: your face right, and it's like good, this is how
Speaker 1: I make the you know, the bit of money that
Speaker 1: I do make and the big bucks that I do make.
Speaker 1: So it's hard to like have strike that there is
Speaker 1: no balance. I'll just say there's no balance with me
Speaker 1: between like trying to show my face. It's like all
Speaker 1: or nothing. Like sometimes it is heavy, it's balon. Like
Speaker 1: we recently started dating and then other times it's like a,
Speaker 1: I don't know, we're on a break. Yeah, so that's
Speaker 1: how I feel about social media. So if you don't
Speaker 1: see me on social media, that's why I know. Oh likewise,
Speaker 1: but yeah, we're just in a process of simplifying, you know. Yes,
Speaker 1: that's what's happening. Okay. So the third one that I
Speaker 1: do love, just related to simplicity is number three, getting
Speaker 1: out of debt. I know we talk about this at
Speaker 1: ton it's one of the biggest things we discuss when
Speaker 1: it comes to this podcast. But when we look at
Speaker 1: this from a lens of simplicity, I have to agree
Speaker 1: as well, and you reference in this article, it doesn't
Speaker 1: just mathematically make sense, but is also a mental and
Speaker 1: emotional weight lifted. Now we recognize this is a long journey.
Speaker 1: This isn't like a declutter your home this weekend. Getting
Speaker 1: out of debt for many of us, there's a long
Speaker 1: haul decision that will often take years, so there's a
Speaker 1: lot that needs to go into that, but it does
Speaker 1: lead to freed up mental and emotional space, freed up finances,
Speaker 1: and just ability to now make decisions for investing for
Speaker 1: retirement or having maybe a little bit more discretionary income
Speaker 1: or just not worrying that much anymore, and that is
Speaker 1: an incredible benefit. So that's a great way to simplify
Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, and something I feel like I want
Speaker 1: to point out is that lately we've been getting a
Speaker 1: lot of questions about consolidating debt, which does have the
Speaker 1: benefit of simplifying, right, So, like what we're talking about
Speaker 1: is simplifying, but I think it's over ad vertized because
Speaker 1: it's advertised as a way to save on debt, but
Speaker 1: in reality saves you very little on debt. It just
Speaker 1: moves debt around and makes you think you've done something
Speaker 1: because you have simplified the problem. So that's not a
Speaker 1: bad thing, but you need to know what you're getting into.
Speaker 1: And like, we don't typically recommend debt consolidation because while
Speaker 1: it does simplify what the debt looks like, it is
Speaker 1: adding a level of complexity to your actual financial practice.
Speaker 1: So it's not like a simplification of you know, when
Speaker 1: you pay off your smallest loan, that debt goes away.
Speaker 1: So this is one of the one of the benefits
Speaker 1: of the debt snowball is that you can simplify what
Speaker 1: your debt looks like or what your bank accounts look
Speaker 1: like more quickly. So it's a quicker simplification process. Even
Speaker 1: though maybe it costs at a little bit more mathematically,
Speaker 1: it does give you that simplifying part quicker. And so
Speaker 1: we would probably say do that instead of consolidating debt
Speaker 1: if that's what you're thinking about. Helpful. Yeah, My next
Speaker 1: one is number four. We're not going to go through
Speaker 1: every single one of them. One's up front is what
Speaker 1: I did. So number four is learn to say no,
Speaker 1: and that that's going to offend some people talking to me. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not like you know, you know how to say no,
Speaker 1: so but some people don't. And I think I grew
Speaker 1: up watching these people. So in my adult life I
Speaker 1: say the first line. I am the type of person
Speaker 1: who says no first. I always say no first, and
Speaker 1: then I take time to think about it and whether
Speaker 1: I want my to change my answer to yes. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So some people would say, Jen, you should just say
Speaker 1: let me think about it first. You're too much on
Speaker 1: the other straight Yeah. So so maybe I wouldn't recommend
Speaker 1: becoming me, but a lot of people start with lead
Speaker 1: with yes, just out of insecurity, wanting to be a
Speaker 1: people pleaser. Oh, this is a perfect example. So last
Speaker 1: week I took like a girl's trip with our friends
Speaker 1: Caroline Vencil Alison Baggerley from Inspired Budget. Alison is a
Speaker 1: gem of a person and a people pleaser, and so there,
Speaker 1: I can't even remember what it was, but like, I
Speaker 1: think I was maybe road raging for a second, and
Speaker 1: I won't repeat what I said, but we don't have
Speaker 1: the explicit rating, right, Alison was like, oh, I was like,
Speaker 1: I always like give these people the benefit of the
Speaker 1: debt or no. No, it was a social media thing.
Speaker 1: It wasn't road rage. Somebody was trying to like manipulate,
Speaker 1: manipulate her, I'll just say that. And she knew it too,
Speaker 1: She knew it, but she just wanted to give them
Speaker 1: the benefit of the doubt, even though she knew what
Speaker 1: they were doing. She just wanted to say yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: because she wanted to give them the benefit of the doubt.
Speaker 1: And you know, she's just a gem of a person, right,
Speaker 1: Saying no to people who are trying to manipulate you
Speaker 1: does not make you any less of a gem. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what you're worrying about. I mean, it sounds like
Speaker 1: the radical middle whether you find yourself on one extreme
Speaker 1: of leading with no or leading with yes. Is that
Speaker 1: let me think about it, either side could choose that
Speaker 1: pathway just to give yourself space, just a pause to
Speaker 1: identify is this something I want to engage in? And
Speaker 1: I think, I mean, it sounds like a great way
Speaker 1: of living for Alison to just be a gem of
Speaker 1: a person like then everybody likes you, everybody and everybody
Speaker 1: loves to do but if it hurts you, I think
Speaker 1: that's where it's time for some reevaluation. If you are
Speaker 1: always saying yes at the cost of yourself and your
Speaker 1: own well being, then that's where we need to kind
Speaker 1: of identify some different patterns relating Even if it doesn't
Speaker 1: always end up in you being a stressed, overtired people pleaser,
Speaker 1: if it's resulting in that more often than it is
Speaker 1: resulting in you being filled up, there's an issue. Yeah,
Speaker 1: Because there are a lot of important things that you
Speaker 1: have to do that aren't going to fill you up,
Speaker 1: but they're important, so you have to do them. So
Speaker 1: if you're doing things for other people that are draining
Speaker 1: you as well that you don't have to do, those
Speaker 1: things need to be cut out of your life and
Speaker 1: it's not always. It's typically not people trying to manipulate you.
Speaker 1: It's typically really well and tensioned people that really see
Speaker 1: that you would be a good fit for something and
Speaker 1: it's a good opportunity. But sometimes you have to say
Speaker 1: no to good so that you can pursue great And
Speaker 1: so you have to really either say no or say
Speaker 1: I'll think about it, yeah, to really give yourself time
Speaker 1: to figure out is this good or is this great?
Speaker 1: And that's what leads to simplifying our schedules, which I
Speaker 1: think for many of us is where we all need
Speaker 1: the most work of how do I continue to kind
Speaker 1: of rein myself in from the vortex of business that
Speaker 1: will suck us in. I do think there needs to
Speaker 1: be active, intentional, perpetual awareness of the vortex of business.
Speaker 1: It will always want to suck us in and own us,
Speaker 1: so that saying no is what leads to some of
Speaker 1: that more simple schedule. I am going to jump all
Speaker 1: the way to the bottom of this. I'm done going
Speaker 1: in order is plan a simple menu. I could not
Speaker 1: agree with this more and probably because you wrote it
Speaker 1: and I like you and our friends. But I think
Speaker 1: when it comes to activities that we have to do daily.
Speaker 1: Like food, this is also where we can experience a
Speaker 1: lot of overwhelm and fatigue and can lead to the
Speaker 1: convenience purchases of eating out or ordering takeout, which isn't
Speaker 1: always the friendliest for our budgets or our money if
Speaker 1: it's not something that's been planned for, and so I
Speaker 1: think one way to get around that is to really
Speaker 1: simplify what we're going to eat at home throughout the week.
Speaker 1: That doesn't mean that it's bland or not fun or inedible,
Speaker 1: just simple like paring down the number of ingredients that
Speaker 1: you need. You can still reuse and repurpose ingredients, but
Speaker 1: making it easier and more accessible for yourself will cut
Speaker 1: down on the amount of times that you feel like
Speaker 1: you need to eat out. It will have the decisions
Speaker 1: already made for you, so there's less of that decision
Speaker 1: fatigue and usually can lead to lower cooking times not
Speaker 1: taking up as much of your space and energy. For
Speaker 1: me personally, I think one of the ways that I
Speaker 1: do this is I'll change up a lot of what
Speaker 1: we'd eat for dinner, reusing ingredients, but my breakfasts and
Speaker 1: lunches from week to week will look very similar like
Speaker 1: a breakfast for me, it's two options. It's going to
Speaker 1: be a smoothie or some eggs and toast, And that's
Speaker 1: fine because I know I'm still going to get variety
Speaker 1: that day. Lunches all have two to three options on
Speaker 1: hand in any given week, so I feel like I
Speaker 1: have options, but it's not complicated. I'm not reinventing all
Speaker 1: of the time and then changing up week to week
Speaker 1: what the dinners are going to be. Again, still doesn't
Speaker 1: have to be complicated, but I have found the simpler
Speaker 1: that I can keep it, the more likely I am
Speaker 1: to eat at home and stick with it. Sometimes it's
Speaker 1: really fun to try the new thing and make a
Speaker 1: new meal every single night just to like keep our
Speaker 1: palettes tantalized. But that's not going to last long. There's
Speaker 1: no longevity in that, and we're not going to experience
Speaker 1: the benefits of simplicity in that way. Absolutely, I hate
Speaker 1: that I have to pick just one more from the
Speaker 1: list because it's like people can go check it out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you article check it out. There's some like Okay, so
Speaker 1: there's some really concrete, practical tips, but I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: with one more non concrete one, and I know you
Speaker 1: guys hate that. But here I am five is focus
Speaker 1: on one thing at a time. I left that for you.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I do not steal her one thing trademarked
Speaker 1: this thing I am. I am obsessed with a concept
Speaker 1: and it's essentially just the concept of prioritizing to choose.
Speaker 1: Be intentional about the things that you are working on,
Speaker 1: the financial goals that you are working on, the life
Speaker 1: change goals you are working on. Be intentional and work
Speaker 1: on one at a time. Making small changes and working
Speaker 1: on one thing at a time is not sexy. We
Speaker 1: do not want to have gradual growth and change. We
Speaker 1: love a good overnight success. And that's just not reality.
Speaker 1: It's just not like if your new year's resolution was
Speaker 1: to lose ten pounds, payoff debt, and have a smoothie
Speaker 1: every day, how's that going for you? How is that
Speaker 1: going for you? I am sure not well. But if
Speaker 1: your new year's resolution was just I want to want
Speaker 1: to drink eighty ounces of water every day, that's it.
Speaker 1: No other goals, nothing, doesn't mean you're not doing anything
Speaker 1: at all, right, it's just not taking up the majority
Speaker 1: of your focus. Right. It's like, one choose one thing
Speaker 1: that can help multiple other things. So like just keeping
Speaker 1: on the water. I know that's not financial, but water
Speaker 1: can help you, you know, get your cravings under control,
Speaker 1: so it'll help with food. It can help you get
Speaker 1: your hormones and your weight water weight fluctuations under control,
Speaker 1: so it helps with that. It helps with so many
Speaker 1: other different things. Yet it is one thing. It is
Speaker 1: just one thing, and it's much easier to do than
Speaker 1: focusing on all these big, higher level goals. So, yes,
Speaker 1: your goal maybe to pay off debt, but what are
Speaker 1: the actions that are going to take you to get there? Okay,
Speaker 1: think about those and then pick one to focus on
Speaker 1: at a time and really dig into it until you
Speaker 1: feel like you've mastered it and you can move on. Yes,
Speaker 1: that is focusing on one thing at a time, and
Speaker 1: that is what's going to move the needle. We can't
Speaker 1: all be overnight success stories. If it happens, cool, but
Speaker 1: don't plan for that. Don't don't plan to be an
Speaker 1: overnight success story. And really, the journey is so much more,
Speaker 1: oh my god, yeah than the destination when you are
Speaker 1: when you become an overnight success you miss out on
Speaker 1: all the learning and growth that the journey provides. So
Speaker 1: it's really you miss out on a lot. So plan
Speaker 1: to be average, plan to be normal. Do you can
Speaker 1: know what my very average one thing is to the
Speaker 1: exclusion of all other things. This is a one thing,
Speaker 1: nothing else. But whereby doing we we we we gain
Speaker 1: so much. But I think it was an overnight success.
Speaker 1: I mean it's one thing. This one is the like
Speaker 1: the destination of the journey. The bill of the week.
Speaker 1: That's right, it's time for the best minute of your
Speaker 1: entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name
Speaker 1: is William. Maybe you've paid off your mortgage. Maybe your
Speaker 1: card died and you're happy to not have to pay
Speaker 1: that bill anymore. That's bill Buffalo bills, Bill Clint. This
Speaker 1: is the bill of the week. So I'm Katy from Scotland.
Speaker 1: This month I cleared my online banking overdraft for which
Speaker 1: I was being charged monthly. I transferred balanced to zero
Speaker 1: percent credit card so I can peel off my credit
Speaker 1: card without the monthly charges I was getting. Will I
Speaker 1: was in my overdraft, I was being charged thirty pound
Speaker 1: a month, which will now just go off to paying
Speaker 1: off that day. Thanks. Isn't it so interesting when you
Speaker 1: start to look at your finances and you find things
Speaker 1: that you don't want to find, like you're being charged
Speaker 1: thirty dollars a month for overdrafting. That's crazy. But now, Katie,
Speaker 1: you took you were brave and you went in there
Speaker 1: like Mereda. I envisioned that you are like Mereda because
Speaker 1: I like Disney and you just went in there and
Speaker 1: you said no more transferring it. And now I'm gonna
Speaker 1: use this thirty dollars a month to pay off my
Speaker 1: credit card. Yes, well done, Katie from Scotland. Jen is
Speaker 1: being quite imaginative. I don't even know where Scotland is
Speaker 1: where that movie takes place, and I'm I'm so sorry
Speaker 1: if it's not. Yeah, here we go. It was Irish
Speaker 1: maybe she was Scottish. Okay, we're going to figure that out, Katie.
Speaker 1: But mostly we're focused on you, and yeah, how you
Speaker 1: paid off your credit card? You no longer got these
Speaker 1: overdraft fees happening, So just well done. What do you got, Jen?
Speaker 1: She is voiced by a Scottish actress. It's from obviously
Speaker 1: a made up place. So we're gonna say, we're going
Speaker 1: to say Scotland. Okay, we're gonna go to Scotland. You
Speaker 1: you went gay for sharing bill a week. If you
Speaker 1: all listening want to share your bill? If it has
Speaker 1: anything to do with like a Disney movie character slicing
Speaker 1: and dice in some overdraft fees or paying off credit
Speaker 1: cards or or your name is Bill, then know how
Speaker 1: many times I have to say this? Visit Frugal Friends
Speaker 1: podcast dot com slash Bill, leave us your bill now,
Speaker 1: let's time for you're out you. I don't think I
Speaker 1: have to get any more vulnerable because I already got vulnerable. No, no, okay, no,
Speaker 1: it doesn't work that way. You chose vulnerability. This is
Speaker 1: now for vulnerability. Okay. So what's something in your life
Speaker 1: that has been hard to simplify? And I think you
Speaker 1: should go first? Uh huh, I feel like did you
Speaker 1: write this question? Wasn't this a Goldie question? Is me? Oh?
Speaker 1: My schedule? This is so vulnerable because I would love
Speaker 1: to say that I'm just like crushing simplicity, and maybe
Speaker 1: I'm doing that in my possessions and just like getting
Speaker 1: rid of things, but I'm not crushing it and schedule.
Speaker 1: The nicer you are, and the more of a gem
Speaker 1: of a person you are, I think, the harder it
Speaker 1: is to simplify the schedule. The thing about it for
Speaker 1: me is I don't think. I don't feel as though
Speaker 1: I am just bending to the will and needs of others.
Speaker 1: There is a true tension for me. We were talking
Speaker 1: about this even before we hit the record button today.
Speaker 1: Where I want a lot of things. It is mostly
Speaker 1: a me problem where I want all of the things.
Speaker 1: I want rest and opportunities to explore or my hobbies
Speaker 1: and things that are life giving to me. And I
Speaker 1: want to grow this business and pursue other types of careers,
Speaker 1: and I want to host people, and I want to
Speaker 1: hang out and I want to build community, like I
Speaker 1: just want all the things, like I want to say
Speaker 1: yes to it all, not because I feel like I'm
Speaker 1: playcating someone or something. It just truly is what I
Speaker 1: want to do. So that has been and potentially will
Speaker 1: be a forever and always thing to navigate of. Still
Speaker 1: sincerely keeping a pulse on. Okay, but what is going
Speaker 1: to be best for me? What is this going to
Speaker 1: cost me? Not just monetarily, like what will this cost
Speaker 1: me in my energies and capacities? What will that potentially
Speaker 1: steal from something else? Like if I choose to go
Speaker 1: all out just in the social world then and there
Speaker 1: is a cost benefit analysis to that. There's an opportunity
Speaker 1: cost then that means projects aren't getting done at my house,
Speaker 1: or if I go well on projects, that means community
Speaker 1: is not being found. So it's there is such a tension,
Speaker 1: and I'm sure there's plenty of people listening who like
Speaker 1: want to collect all the things you just want to
Speaker 1: do at all, And it's also appetizing and appealing and
Speaker 1: fun and enjoyable. So really deciding how do I want
Speaker 1: to spend like the twenty four hours that's been allotted
Speaker 1: to me and creating some space to keep a pulse
Speaker 1: on how is this impacting me? Was that? Was that
Speaker 1: a good choice? Or would I want to shift or
Speaker 1: morph that in the future. Yeah, I'm not there. I
Speaker 1: don't know that I ever will be there. Yeah, I
Speaker 1: don't think, especially because your value so like very much
Speaker 1: aligned with what you were just saying, Like to be
Speaker 1: healthy in your values creates like the perfect schedule, but
Speaker 1: nobody is perfect or perfectly healthy. Yeah, so it's always
Speaker 1: something that you'll have to keep a pulse on. I
Speaker 1: think I have also, I'll just say this and then
Speaker 1: I'll be done. In case it's fruitful for anybody else.
Speaker 1: But I think I've realized that I had a narrative
Speaker 1: going that go go, go, go go was not good
Speaker 1: for me, mostly because of what I think is talked about,
Speaker 1: like just being busy isn't good, and I would partially
Speaker 1: agree with that, but then to also realize maybe that
Speaker 1: narrative is what's mostly unhelpful, Like I love spending time
Speaker 1: with people that is actually life giving. What if that's
Speaker 1: a form of rest for me? Where I might have
Speaker 1: this very like mono idea like of oh, this is
Speaker 1: what rest is. It's only sitting down in complete quietness,
Speaker 1: eating a book, That's what rest is. But to come
Speaker 1: to realize that might be somebody's rest, but for me,
Speaker 1: my rest can look different, and usually for most of us,
Speaker 1: we've got a lot of different forms of rest. So
Speaker 1: I think it's been taking a lot of the pressure
Speaker 1: away from myself, the things I put on myself to
Speaker 1: say this might feel like a lot, and maybe others
Speaker 1: would look on the way that I live my life
Speaker 1: or spend my time as like that's just too much.
Speaker 1: But it might be too much for that person and
Speaker 1: what's valuable for them, But for me it's okay. And
Speaker 1: it's not hurting me, and if anything, there's aspects of
Speaker 1: it that are life giving. So that's been a whole
Speaker 1: other kind of realization and mostly helpful for me to
Speaker 1: not just get bummed that I filled my space and
Speaker 1: time with people and things that I really enjoy. That
Speaker 1: can be Okay, that's lovely, that's great. What about you
Speaker 1: get vulnerable? Well, I mean I'm gonna is it a
Speaker 1: cop out to say the same the social media thing again?
Speaker 1: No do it, because that really does plague me. I
Speaker 1: was off social media entirely for about three months, and
Speaker 1: then people kind of convinced me to get back on.
Speaker 1: They're like, it's free marketing for your podcasts and your
Speaker 1: business and we're going for a book deal and every
Speaker 1: publisher wants to see you're active on social media. Like
Speaker 1: it's just so sad for me. I feel like I
Speaker 1: hear this from you, like there's always there's a cycle. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm leaving it. This is good for me. Then you
Speaker 1: get into some mastermind group and they're like shaming you
Speaker 1: into getting back on, and you're like, I know that
Speaker 1: they're right, and you do crush it. You post some
Speaker 1: really great stuff. You're funny, you're a gem, You're witty,
Speaker 1: you're insightful, you got a lot to give. And I
Speaker 1: think that's especially in this space right where there's like
Speaker 1: a business connected to it, that's a big component. There's
Speaker 1: gotta be a radical middle. And we're partially now getting
Speaker 1: into business meeting here. Yeah, we will have to find
Speaker 1: the radical middle. Yeah, so that's that's kind of where
Speaker 1: I'm at. I just I don't have strong enough boundaries
Speaker 1: or self discipline to not get sucked into it. It's
Speaker 1: it is, for sure, like, yeah, I am I could
Speaker 1: be more disciplined, but also I can give myself grace
Speaker 1: for just being not perfect. So that's where I'm at. Agreed. Yeah, Well,
Speaker 1: thank you for listening. I hope that this conversation has
Speaker 1: been helpful to you in some way that you feel
Speaker 1: seen in some way and are going to leave with
Speaker 1: maybe a few ideas on how you want to simplify
Speaker 1: your life, and you're going to focus on one of them.
Speaker 1: You're just going to focus on changing one of them
Speaker 1: to simplify your life. Try that first before you try
Speaker 1: through your four at a time. So thank you for listening.
Speaker 1: Many of you know we have a membership for our
Speaker 1: listeners who are trying to simplify trying to pay off debt.
Speaker 1: Last month we did and Eat at Home challenge and
Speaker 1: the whole lesson was on simplifying meal prep so that
Speaker 1: you could better execute your meal plan and eat at home.
Speaker 1: And so we talk all about simplification in our group,
Speaker 1: and we wanted to congratulate one of our members for
Speaker 1: a big win. This comes from Michelle. It's about meal prep,
Speaker 1: she says, you, guys, I'm not a great meal prepper.
Speaker 1: I have a chronic illness, so it's really hard for
Speaker 1: me to be on my feet for long amounts of
Speaker 1: time making big batches of food and then washing on
Speaker 1: the dishes usually feel super overwhelming. But I think I'm
Speaker 1: finally finding my stride. A couple of days ago, I
Speaker 1: got several cans of free fried bean, big stack up
Speaker 1: burrito toward Tilla's already had thoughts of cheese and rice
Speaker 1: on hand, and made a big batch of burritos, a
Speaker 1: whole month's worth, and put them in the freezer. I'm
Speaker 1: so stoked. I also made it week's worth of smoothies
Speaker 1: and put them in jars and the freezers. Today's mission
Speaker 1: giant batch of spaghetti sauce. Oh, Michelle, congratulations. I'm so
Speaker 1: thrilled to hear of just the motivation and energy that
Speaker 1: you're finding now to be kind to yourself on the
Speaker 1: days when you need to not be on your feet.
Speaker 1: And that's a real reality for a lot of people.
Speaker 1: Not just how do I prep and plan, but also
Speaker 1: I've got these various physical or mental health concerns that
Speaker 1: can be interrupters or barriers, but finding creative ways to
Speaker 1: work around it, finding community to surround you to help
Speaker 1: you through that process and think about new ways of
Speaker 1: attacking that problem and finding solutions that are workable. This
Speaker 1: is just so great. Well, don Michelle, Yes, enjoy that.
Speaker 1: Food sounds yummy, yummy. Thank you for listening. If you
Speaker 1: want to check out our membership where we have all
Speaker 1: kinds of courses, interviews, challenges, and more, head to Frugal
Speaker 1: Friends podcast dot com slash club to check it out. Yay.
Speaker 1: Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni. All right, Jen, Yes,
Speaker 1: you know me. I just want to talk about food
Speaker 1: now one time. What's your dinner? Um? What a great question. Um.
Speaker 1: Actually I don't know, because I got back in town
Speaker 1: two days ago. I can't say yesterday, and I just
Speaker 1: I haven't meal planned. Well I do, Okay, so as
Speaker 1: a lie, I have my meal plan, my monthlong meal
Speaker 1: plan on my laptop. I have not taken five minutes
Speaker 1: to pull it up and write it down. Yeah. I
Speaker 1: mean that just shows how pregnant you are. You realize
Speaker 1: when this comes out. This comes out March fourteen. Can
Speaker 1: I see section A schedule from March fifteens. We're one
Speaker 1: day away from meeting little TBD little baby Smith. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so unless he has come early, which is also a possibility.
Speaker 1: M Yeah, this will be this will be it. And
Speaker 1: obviously we're recording this like six weeks in advance, which
Speaker 1: is good, yeah, because you never know. Yeah, but yeah,
Speaker 1: my brain is already in another month. Yeah. I do
Speaker 1: think that you should do meal deliveries, like get people
Speaker 1: to meal train you pre birth and roast birth. I
Speaker 1: feel like those last six weeks of pregnancy and then yeah,
Speaker 1: first six weeks of baby. Yeah, but I will say,
Speaker 1: like when you compare the two, the last six weeks
Speaker 1: of pregnancy are way easier than the first six weeks
Speaker 1: of newborn. Like that is really it's real, legit, that's
Speaker 1: re legit. We're getting ready for it. I was just
Speaker 1: talking to my friend Eileen and she was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: the night before I had my last baby, I cried
Speaker 1: because I knew what was coming for me, what was coming.
Speaker 1: And I was like, yeah, yeah, so that's what's coming
Speaker 1: for me. So the reality of bringing new humans into
Speaker 1: the world, it's just a thing. Check you parents out, well,
Speaker 1: I'll be here. I'll be here to come like clean
Speaker 1: your toilet or something. Bless you.