1
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:15,080
Speaker 1: Slave. Oh hey, Barbara, back here I am. That's two

2
00:00:15,080 --> 00:00:18,320
Speaker 1: pm too early for us. How about you're gonna tell me, Julie,

3
00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:21,560
Speaker 1: I guess not for your regular order of what is

4
00:00:21,600 --> 00:00:25,360
Speaker 1: it rose wine? I'll be right back. Make it a double.

5
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:30,600
Speaker 1: You know. The first time I have rose was with Cagney.

6
00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:35,360
Speaker 1: Lacey pull me beside in this trail and he said,

7
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,840
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let you try a little something. He said,

8
00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:40,160
Speaker 1: don't you take that tone with me? And he put

9
00:00:40,200 --> 00:00:42,879
Speaker 1: me in the picture anyway. Yeah, Barbara, I've heard this

10
00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,559
Speaker 1: one too many times. If you catch my drift. Cagney

11
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,640
Speaker 1: wasn't a big man, if you know what I mean.

12
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:56,240
Speaker 1: But he knew exactly Barbara, Barbara Darling, pull up your shirt.

13
00:00:56,360 --> 00:01:00,000
Speaker 1: You're revealing yourself. What the girls. You don't want to

14
00:01:00,120 --> 00:01:03,480
Speaker 1: see the girls. Everybody wants to see the girls. This

15
00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:07,160
Speaker 1: is what put me on the cover of a magazine. Hey,

16
00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:14,039
Speaker 1: beautiful ladies, so they may give me the regular triple

17
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:19,920
Speaker 1: seven seven rocks, double rocks. Get the lady a sherry

18
00:01:19,959 --> 00:01:23,520
Speaker 1: on ice. So you like that? You like that? You

19
00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:28,600
Speaker 1: want me to like it? I like it. I haven't

20
00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:34,319
Speaker 1: I seen you before, cowgirl shaking those pretty things over

21
00:01:34,440 --> 00:01:39,200
Speaker 1: at the Theater on Sunset and will Shire. Yeah, Dennis

22
00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:42,399
Speaker 1: show it too in my day. Oh no, I know it.

23
00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:48,200
Speaker 1: Gregory Peck. You were in the Big Peck film. So

24
00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,880
Speaker 1: I guess there's a little more to you than meets

25
00:01:50,920 --> 00:01:53,720
Speaker 1: the eye. A man who likes the pictures you ever

26
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,920
Speaker 1: see me in the postman always comes for the first

27
00:01:57,040 --> 00:01:59,200
Speaker 1: evening in the last day of the month. I used

28
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,240
Speaker 1: to run a lecture on the MGM lot. Now now

29
00:02:02,280 --> 00:02:05,480
Speaker 1: I just you know, house chores and stuff like that.

30
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:08,320
Speaker 1: But it's a fine little movie star like you. Don't

31
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,520
Speaker 1: a ball like this. You're one of the boys looking

32
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:13,520
Speaker 1: at my skirt as I flounced my way down the

33
00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:18,320
Speaker 1: lot to my trailer. Guilty as charged. Here's your triple

34
00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:23,119
Speaker 1: triple seven, and here's your dry sharing Barbara. Watch out

35
00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:25,400
Speaker 1: for her. By the end of the night, you'll have

36
00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:30,280
Speaker 1: no money left. Sounds like my kind of girl. How

37
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,760
Speaker 1: about this, Charlie. You seem like a two buck chuck.

38
00:02:33,800 --> 00:02:37,320
Speaker 1: If I have a new one five buck chuck. If

39
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:40,760
Speaker 1: you're playing your titties right, five bucks, well that'll buy

40
00:02:40,840 --> 00:02:43,639
Speaker 1: me a whole other round of shay tomorrow morning when

41
00:02:43,639 --> 00:02:48,800
Speaker 1: I roll into the bar at nine nine, nine, nine am.

42
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:52,119
Speaker 1: Why don't you come back to my studio apartment over

43
00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:56,480
Speaker 1: on Bevonshire and I'll show you the time of your life.

44
00:02:56,600 --> 00:03:01,520
Speaker 1: I'll give you the Foe Peyton double. About this missus

45
00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:06,320
Speaker 1: Barbara movie star Payton. I got a nineteen fifty sixty

46
00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:10,000
Speaker 1: yellow Cadillac with the fins, with the forty six power

47
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:15,840
Speaker 1: horse engine AMFM radio. How about we get things going fast,

48
00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:21,000
Speaker 1: just like this town goes down. Don't go so fast

49
00:03:21,080 --> 00:03:24,400
Speaker 1: for me anymore. The only horse I care about is

50
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:28,080
Speaker 1: the one in that little stable you got right on there.

51
00:03:28,160 --> 00:03:33,160
Speaker 1: It's sister Sally Ann May's decrepital bar because it's the

52
00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,119
Speaker 1: only place in this god forsake in town. But I'll

53
00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:40,680
Speaker 1: serve me nine rosa. And don't you forget Barbara. You

54
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:46,720
Speaker 1: got a pretty heavy tab here. Oh don't I know? Well?

55
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:50,720
Speaker 1: Three buck chuck. You want to slap a cold galleon

56
00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:54,080
Speaker 1: down on the barn, Let's hop to it. Let's gallop away,

57
00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:57,800
Speaker 1: Sally May. I'll get you, get you tomorrow for some

58
00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,680
Speaker 1: of Barbara's tab You know see how well she does

59
00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:08,480
Speaker 1: to me? No, alright, folks, stay safe, I never do.

60
00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,040
Speaker 1: Who's that knocking at the door. It's all your friends,

61
00:04:17,080 --> 00:04:20,040
Speaker 1: your filthy horse. Your husband's gone and you've got books

62
00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:23,760
Speaker 1: and a bottle of wine to kill it. It's books,

63
00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:31,080
Speaker 1: it's gossip. I'm shook. It's memoirs Martini. Clebrity Book Club,

64
00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:35,640
Speaker 1: Come read it while it's hot. Celebrity Book Club, tell

65
00:04:35,680 --> 00:04:41,240
Speaker 1: your secrets. We won't talk celebrity books. No boys are allowed.

66
00:04:41,720 --> 00:04:46,800
Speaker 1: Celebrited book say it loud and cloud. Celebrity book Club.

67
00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:52,360
Speaker 1: Buzz Man, I brought the queer foe. Hey, brod friend. Wait,

68
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:58,360
Speaker 1: it's so good to see you. How's your um boyfriend?

69
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:01,320
Speaker 1: Are you saying that? No, we're saved, boyfriend. We've said,

70
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,320
Speaker 1: I will keep saying, keep saying until you want to

71
00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:10,000
Speaker 1: stick a knife in my goddamn eyes. Right, my boyfriend's great. Yeah, Randoway,

72
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:14,320
Speaker 1: I haven't seen my wallet since Wednesday night, which is

73
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,600
Speaker 1: cool because my boyfriend totally has a wallet. So that's

74
00:05:17,839 --> 00:05:21,120
Speaker 1: really I mean, this is huge, your boyfriend having a wallet. Yeah,

75
00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:26,880
Speaker 1: he was pained for me and oh okay little yeah sorry, yeah, okay,

76
00:05:27,040 --> 00:05:30,280
Speaker 1: sugar Baby, I was in my mark, I was in

77
00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:36,520
Speaker 1: my sugar Baby arc. Yeah. I was totally all your

78
00:05:36,600 --> 00:05:40,480
Speaker 1: way across this weekend. Yeah, we have a guest today.

79
00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:44,200
Speaker 1: I mean the grand Um of downtown New York, one

80
00:05:44,240 --> 00:05:46,960
Speaker 1: of the funniest people in the world. An old soul,

81
00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:50,719
Speaker 1: I would say, oh yeah, yeah, many many lives are

82
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:54,840
Speaker 1: under that alabasta skin. A Los Angeles legend, yet also

83
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:57,200
Speaker 1: a New York legend. Yeah, so I may say she

84
00:05:57,279 --> 00:06:05,839
Speaker 1: invented being my coastal um, ladies and gentlemen. The Mistress,

85
00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:13,920
Speaker 1: the Mistress of Scotland, Ruby Mcallis, I've been just I

86
00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:17,960
Speaker 1: hardly could contain myself. I wanted to chime in at

87
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:22,120
Speaker 1: every fucking moment. So Ruby, you suggested this book to us.

88
00:06:22,120 --> 00:06:26,960
Speaker 1: This book is called I Am Not Ashamed by Barbara Peyton.

89
00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:32,560
Speaker 1: Barbara Peyton, who is a fabulous actress and forties and fifties, Yes,

90
00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:36,640
Speaker 1: the late forties, early fifties. It's the wrong. She was

91
00:06:36,760 --> 00:06:38,880
Speaker 1: right of this precipice, becoming like the huge stars who

92
00:06:38,920 --> 00:06:40,920
Speaker 1: did in one big movie. And then she kind of

93
00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:43,240
Speaker 1: started to falter a bit and succumbed to drugs and

94
00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:48,040
Speaker 1: alcohol and men and lecquor and yazz and Mexico studio

95
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:52,080
Speaker 1: system and clams and fishing. Yes, and then she died

96
00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:54,680
Speaker 1: at thirty nine. Yes she did, she did, she said,

97
00:06:54,760 --> 00:06:56,640
Speaker 1: So you talked about You talked about her in your

98
00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:01,000
Speaker 1: One Woman's show. But exactly, I think the kind of

99
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,960
Speaker 1: purpose of the book is, like you know, you would

100
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:05,760
Speaker 1: you would say she's a cautionary tale, right, she is

101
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,680
Speaker 1: the like the ultimate cautionary tale. Right. I think her

102
00:07:08,839 --> 00:07:11,240
Speaker 1: her writing this book is her trying to push back

103
00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:13,920
Speaker 1: on that and say, no, I'm not a cautionary tale.

104
00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:15,800
Speaker 1: This is me. This is my life. I'm proud of

105
00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:17,480
Speaker 1: it and it is what it is, and I wouldn't

106
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,640
Speaker 1: have it any other way. But you know, of course

107
00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:21,840
Speaker 1: you look at it and there's a lot of sadness there. Yeah,

108
00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:24,880
Speaker 1: it's a complicated book because I do talk about Barbara

109
00:07:24,880 --> 00:07:27,720
Speaker 1: Payton in my One woman Joe called Tragedy. That will

110
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:30,560
Speaker 1: be at Joe's Pub on August nineteenth, and there will

111
00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,520
Speaker 1: also be further shows if you're listening to this past nineteenth.

112
00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:38,040
Speaker 1: Just chicken who workshopping words are every day we're working, okay,

113
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:42,160
Speaker 1: Because I when I was a child, I became obsessed

114
00:07:42,280 --> 00:07:46,040
Speaker 1: with tragic actresses and that's sort of what the shows at,

115
00:07:46,440 --> 00:07:49,960
Speaker 1: you know, and my relation show at. But Barbara Payton

116
00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:53,600
Speaker 1: came up when I was like eighteen, and quite honestly,

117
00:07:53,800 --> 00:07:55,880
Speaker 1: I was just obsessed with her story and I've like

118
00:07:56,120 --> 00:07:59,760
Speaker 1: never seen her act, right, I'm going to be perfect.

119
00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:03,080
Speaker 1: You haven't watched any of the films. Last night, I

120
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,320
Speaker 1: was finishing, you know, the book, was like I mean,

121
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:09,240
Speaker 1: starting and finishing the book, but I was like, I

122
00:08:09,280 --> 00:08:10,880
Speaker 1: need to fire up one of these films, and so

123
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:13,480
Speaker 1: I know I sort of felt that. Of course, the

124
00:08:13,640 --> 00:08:19,360
Speaker 1: toxic mask other side on my bedroom wall as a teenager,

125
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,760
Speaker 1: I found the eight by eleven of Jimmy Katney. Yes, yes,

126
00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:26,160
Speaker 1: and and so Jimmy Cagney he really gave Barbara Peyton,

127
00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:30,240
Speaker 1: you know, the he was, you know, known for being

128
00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:34,360
Speaker 1: the gangster right, you know, right, all the shoot him up,

129
00:08:34,400 --> 00:08:36,600
Speaker 1: bang him up. But he actually himself was I think, like,

130
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:41,199
Speaker 1: you know, a sensitive actor into the labor movement first.

131
00:08:41,320 --> 00:08:43,120
Speaker 1: Then I read he ended up supporting Reagan. But of

132
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,480
Speaker 1: course that's what it happened. As you get older, you

133
00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:50,400
Speaker 1: get conservative, because we're all going to be like voting

134
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:54,880
Speaker 1: for Kylie when we're eight, just like, but um, you know,

135
00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:57,960
Speaker 1: I watched Public Enemy Number one and probably watched one

136
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,959
Speaker 1: of those Cagney movies. But here's the thing. Did I

137
00:09:00,160 --> 00:09:01,600
Speaker 1: love it at the time, or did I want to

138
00:09:01,640 --> 00:09:08,600
Speaker 1: love it rightetic that compelling. The sound is still a

139
00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:13,360
Speaker 1: little like, yeah, it's sometimes hard to understand, and we

140
00:09:13,800 --> 00:09:15,520
Speaker 1: know that, and we love that and we respect that.

141
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:18,400
Speaker 1: I do watch many old films. I'm not you know,

142
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:22,000
Speaker 1: I'm not misrepresenting myself in that way. It's just sometimes

143
00:09:22,480 --> 00:09:25,880
Speaker 1: the soul. It's no, no, she's not even that old.

144
00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:29,240
Speaker 1: I mean, like she I just got so fascinated with

145
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,960
Speaker 1: her story when I was like in early college that

146
00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:35,520
Speaker 1: I was just like obsessed with again the tragedy of

147
00:09:35,559 --> 00:09:37,280
Speaker 1: it that I like didn't even need to see her

148
00:09:37,320 --> 00:09:39,160
Speaker 1: fucking act. I just was like upset of the pictures

149
00:09:39,200 --> 00:09:43,679
Speaker 1: and remember and then I talk about she is truly

150
00:09:43,760 --> 00:09:47,840
Speaker 1: one of I mean Veronica Lake, who I have watched

151
00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,840
Speaker 1: many of her films. She also had sort of a

152
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:54,320
Speaker 1: bizarre later life, like she ended up bartending at the

153
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:59,000
Speaker 1: georgan at the Martha Washington House for Women in Manhattan,

154
00:09:59,440 --> 00:10:02,800
Speaker 1: and like, how did Veronica Lake, who was like way

155
00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,760
Speaker 1: more famous than Barbara Payton ever was, become like a

156
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:10,800
Speaker 1: taxi driver and a bartender. And I'm fascinated with that.

157
00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:14,679
Speaker 1: But Barbara Payton is such an interesting one because you know,

158
00:10:14,720 --> 00:10:17,800
Speaker 1: and as my father says, as my mother and my

159
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:21,199
Speaker 1: father said both in the business of THEATA, which doesn't

160
00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:25,040
Speaker 1: help me much. But anyway, I'm going on and they're saying,

161
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:28,240
Speaker 1: you never know. You know, someone could have a ride

162
00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:29,920
Speaker 1: up in Vanity Fair one day and you don't know

163
00:10:29,960 --> 00:10:33,040
Speaker 1: where they are. Antenne is and that is when you're

164
00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,160
Speaker 1: going to go out, and you have to you never

165
00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:37,000
Speaker 1: know when you're gonna go out. And I was also

166
00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:40,079
Speaker 1: there was like this ringing in my family, like I

167
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,800
Speaker 1: wanted to be a child actor so badly, but my

168
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:47,120
Speaker 1: mother was constantly being like, you, it's the odds of

169
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:49,520
Speaker 1: doing that are so fucked up for you because you

170
00:10:49,640 --> 00:10:52,520
Speaker 1: never know when you're going to peak. And like Barbara Payton,

171
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:55,440
Speaker 1: I'm not ashamed this just before we really deep dive

172
00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:58,600
Speaker 1: on the quotes, because this isn't I mean the quoting

173
00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:03,840
Speaker 1: it like it's the perfect size, it's in a beautiful cover. Basically,

174
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:07,840
Speaker 1: her career was all of three years long, it's really

175
00:11:08,559 --> 00:11:10,320
Speaker 1: and yet in her very brief time in this rest.

176
00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:12,120
Speaker 1: So she died at thirty nine. She had five marriages.

177
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,520
Speaker 1: Five marriages, how many times have you all been married?

178
00:11:15,880 --> 00:11:20,280
Speaker 1: Exactly as as a thirty five year old. You know,

179
00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:25,560
Speaker 1: I'm so wrought with what happened that I don't have

180
00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:27,679
Speaker 1: any divorces under my belt, and I you know, so

181
00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,040
Speaker 1: I have plenty of relationships. But why didn't I just

182
00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:33,079
Speaker 1: pull the trigger twenty seven? I could have said, you know,

183
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,200
Speaker 1: if I get married, i'll get divorced at thirty exactly.

184
00:11:36,200 --> 00:11:38,240
Speaker 1: But I was too afraid to go all the way.

185
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:42,640
Speaker 1: And Barbara was not afraid. And yeah, and she pulled

186
00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:46,600
Speaker 1: the trigger constantly. Yeah, I mean she was this she

187
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:49,200
Speaker 1: a very young age, so she's she's basically grew up

188
00:11:49,200 --> 00:11:52,680
Speaker 1: in Texas, the little town called Odessa, Odessa, which apparently

189
00:11:52,840 --> 00:12:00,680
Speaker 1: is the best place to get vintage anyway, We'll wait

190
00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:03,400
Speaker 1: a minute. And then wasn't her Oh no, her dad

191
00:12:03,480 --> 00:12:06,160
Speaker 1: ran this, um god, what was it? It was like

192
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:08,280
Speaker 1: a resort. It was like a vacation Yeah. It was

193
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,840
Speaker 1: like a little camp side. Yeah yeah, with like little

194
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,560
Speaker 1: cabins for like, you know, vacationing families. But again, to

195
00:12:13,559 --> 00:12:15,520
Speaker 1: be a block, I feel like she's prototype to be

196
00:12:15,559 --> 00:12:18,800
Speaker 1: a little blonde girl from Texas with James. I mean,

197
00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:23,320
Speaker 1: that's pretty Cole Smith. Yes, there we go, there we go.

198
00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,560
Speaker 1: And she had this look to her, you know, she

199
00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:31,040
Speaker 1: is actually very very and she had a little bit

200
00:12:31,080 --> 00:12:34,160
Speaker 1: more of a voluptuous face and body. And then I

201
00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:36,839
Speaker 1: think a lot of women at that time did. And

202
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:40,160
Speaker 1: I was like, she, I mean she was she was

203
00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,679
Speaker 1: like bigger. Though there was like a you're so right

204
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:44,800
Speaker 1: in terms of the Anna Nicole, Like she's just like

205
00:12:44,880 --> 00:12:48,760
Speaker 1: two sizes bigger. The tas are like bigger than Yeah,

206
00:12:48,840 --> 00:12:51,360
Speaker 1: though tas are bigger, and the waist is a little bigger,

207
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,240
Speaker 1: and the hips are a little bigger. Everything's just sort

208
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:56,800
Speaker 1: of like a little bigger. Little Texa was quite small,

209
00:12:57,240 --> 00:12:59,120
Speaker 1: even though we're constantly being like she was a twelve.

210
00:12:59,160 --> 00:13:01,319
Speaker 1: She was a twelve. I swear to god, she's a twelve.

211
00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:06,320
Speaker 1: Article twenty nine, did you know was actually a size eight,

212
00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:08,760
Speaker 1: which is actually a size fourteen now, which actually was

213
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:14,520
Speaker 1: a size sixty in nineteen ninety nine of great inflation

214
00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:18,000
Speaker 1: that beauty standards have made us think she was tiny.

215
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,679
Speaker 1: She was not. She was not. She was a fat

216
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:26,560
Speaker 1: cow cow, but she was fat. Yeah. And it's this like,

217
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:29,520
Speaker 1: I mean, I think it also, this memoir follows a

218
00:13:29,640 --> 00:13:32,920
Speaker 1: lot that are like and bouncy. This fat little pig

219
00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:36,200
Speaker 1: of a boy, Yeah, his tongue down the mouth and

220
00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:39,720
Speaker 1: then he was run over by a track yeah, yeah,

221
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:43,560
Speaker 1: and that really affected her when that and like the

222
00:13:43,679 --> 00:13:46,240
Speaker 1: thing is before we get into The Boy on the Tractor,

223
00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:49,600
Speaker 1: there is like, yeah, it's like this is a complicated

224
00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:52,880
Speaker 1: book because the prologue is like the best thing that's

225
00:13:52,880 --> 00:13:57,440
Speaker 1: ever been written. It's so juicy, it's so profoundly confident.

226
00:13:57,559 --> 00:14:00,120
Speaker 1: The rest of the book is really intense, but the

227
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:04,040
Speaker 1: prologue is so fab So she had this career of

228
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:09,080
Speaker 1: like making like what would be millions of dollars now right,

229
00:14:09,160 --> 00:14:10,920
Speaker 1: she was making what ten thousand a week a week,

230
00:14:10,960 --> 00:14:17,760
Speaker 1: which now is like, honey, no, I mean I was

231
00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:21,480
Speaker 1: nineteen forty nine. That's like one hundred thousand freaking dollars

232
00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,640
Speaker 1: or something. And she says, which is like again, you

233
00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:25,320
Speaker 1: never know. In the Star's gonna fall, she was like,

234
00:14:25,320 --> 00:14:27,360
Speaker 1: the craziest thing I did once was I bought a

235
00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:31,360
Speaker 1: cameraman a house. Yeah. So well, she she implies that

236
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:33,280
Speaker 1: she lost all the money because she was too nice

237
00:14:33,760 --> 00:14:35,480
Speaker 1: that she was just like if I got a ring

238
00:14:35,600 --> 00:14:37,120
Speaker 1: or a beautiful watch, I would give it to some

239
00:14:37,240 --> 00:14:39,720
Speaker 1: owner need it more. I bought the cameraman the house,

240
00:14:40,120 --> 00:14:43,320
Speaker 1: like and I think maybe she maybe is revisioning a

241
00:14:43,320 --> 00:14:45,800
Speaker 1: little bit a little bit. I imagine that a little

242
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:51,920
Speaker 1: bit of a lot of money on boozing. And she

243
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,440
Speaker 1: also mentions, very very casually that she never had a

244
00:14:55,440 --> 00:14:57,880
Speaker 1: bank account. You know what I mean, there's also that

245
00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:01,880
Speaker 1: whole aspect too hard to get a bank account day. No,

246
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:05,080
Speaker 1: I mean the crisis of the unbanked in the forties. Yeah,

247
00:15:05,720 --> 00:15:08,080
Speaker 1: I mean after the Great Depression. I didn't freaking trust

248
00:15:08,120 --> 00:15:11,240
Speaker 1: the things. Yeah, you're looking up, You're like, oh, here's

249
00:15:11,240 --> 00:15:13,000
Speaker 1: all my money. She's like, I'm gonna have my money

250
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,800
Speaker 1: in mink and mink. I'm gonna I'm gonna go so

251
00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:18,440
Speaker 1: my dollars in the in the in the lanes of

252
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:21,760
Speaker 1: mink Stoe. I couldn't. I was shocked at um, she's

253
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:28,240
Speaker 1: very to psychopathy. Doctor Blunt, Doctor bunt. Doctor Bunt was

254
00:15:28,360 --> 00:15:31,880
Speaker 1: twenty five dollars session. That struck me as an astronomical

255
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:34,880
Speaker 1: and no, one hundred percent I felt the exact same way.

256
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:36,840
Speaker 1: I was like five, because this is a back when

257
00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:42,680
Speaker 1: a movie is like twenty twenty five cents even hello, Hello,

258
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,680
Speaker 1: you know you're you're going into that ten thousand dollars

259
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:47,880
Speaker 1: a week salary and you're not. You're not. There's no

260
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:51,960
Speaker 1: savings account, there's no investment. There's no appreciation whatever that's

261
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:56,800
Speaker 1: called interest. You know. Also her being into Rosalee about

262
00:15:56,880 --> 00:16:00,400
Speaker 1: that is deeply into Rose. Yeah. So it's like she

263
00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:07,720
Speaker 1: is being original, like a Texas cavaliery girl. Boss is cavaliers.

264
00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,120
Speaker 1: Um all right? If I may just read a quote

265
00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,840
Speaker 1: here just to like start to set the scene a

266
00:16:12,840 --> 00:16:16,600
Speaker 1: bit um. So what does a gorgeous young girl do

267
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,840
Speaker 1: when she's broke? Well, I got married a couple more

268
00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:24,160
Speaker 1: times for to be exact. They didn't work. Husband's wanted

269
00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,920
Speaker 1: my body and not me anyway, that's the way it seemed.

270
00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:29,560
Speaker 1: I don't know why they married me. I traveled a little.

271
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,200
Speaker 1: I liked Mexico the best. The people was simple. Life

272
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:34,800
Speaker 1: was uncomplicated. It's not like an America where that kiss

273
00:16:34,800 --> 00:16:36,840
Speaker 1: you on the cheek, it's a greeting. There they bust

274
00:16:36,920 --> 00:16:38,840
Speaker 1: you on the lip so that your teeth rattle. The

275
00:16:38,880 --> 00:16:41,200
Speaker 1: people were sincere. A man will say, will you go

276
00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:44,760
Speaker 1: to bed with me? He won't beat around the bush, okay.

277
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,200
Speaker 1: And it's like she's just gone from being like what

278
00:16:46,280 --> 00:16:48,120
Speaker 1: I do. I got married, I moved to Mexico. Men

279
00:16:48,240 --> 00:16:50,280
Speaker 1: sleep with you. It's like she's always going all over

280
00:16:50,360 --> 00:16:52,000
Speaker 1: the pace and then be like, but back to my

281
00:16:52,080 --> 00:16:55,440
Speaker 1: marriage with Franco. Yeah, but and and I'm kind of

282
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,480
Speaker 1: just like, you know, I'm starting to see maybe why

283
00:16:57,560 --> 00:17:00,320
Speaker 1: your career did falter because you're a You're always losing

284
00:17:00,360 --> 00:17:02,440
Speaker 1: the plot a little bit ride and she's like, oh,

285
00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,480
Speaker 1: I was just flaying his fish day and day out,

286
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:07,680
Speaker 1: thinking is this the life? Maybe I should go back

287
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,600
Speaker 1: and act him. And it's like so she's like, oh,

288
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,440
Speaker 1: Mexico's where you go to fuck, But I wanted to

289
00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,640
Speaker 1: ask you about that part when she talks about how

290
00:17:13,680 --> 00:17:16,440
Speaker 1: she knew the end of her marriage in Mexico was

291
00:17:16,480 --> 00:17:18,880
Speaker 1: there was a storm and she was such a beautiful

292
00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:21,440
Speaker 1: part and he's her husband's kind of going around trying

293
00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,600
Speaker 1: to tape the windows or whatever, and she's just like,

294
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,679
Speaker 1: I lay on top of me and penetrate me and

295
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,040
Speaker 1: hugged me and kissing me and tell me. And he

296
00:17:29,080 --> 00:17:31,360
Speaker 1: won't do it because she feels like this sheer force

297
00:17:31,440 --> 00:17:33,480
Speaker 1: of the natural disaster. She was like bringing them together

298
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:34,840
Speaker 1: and he doesn't do it. And then he's just like,

299
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,760
Speaker 1: how are you at the end, And she was like

300
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:39,600
Speaker 1: and that's when it was over because because she claims

301
00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,920
Speaker 1: that he saw the true her moment, and I think

302
00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,960
Speaker 1: she saw the true him, but I feel like he's

303
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,840
Speaker 1: because then it was like after the storm when she

304
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:52,840
Speaker 1: was in Mexico. She was in Mexico, leaving her like fading,

305
00:17:53,080 --> 00:17:56,399
Speaker 1: you know, acting career behind, in Mexico, married a Mexican man,

306
00:17:56,720 --> 00:18:00,640
Speaker 1: was fishing barefoot in jeans, the highlight of her life.

307
00:18:00,720 --> 00:18:03,800
Speaker 1: And then she goes, apparently this storm had killed like

308
00:18:03,840 --> 00:18:07,000
Speaker 1: the majority of the town, and he was I think

309
00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:10,200
Speaker 1: he was being townspeople and she was like, fuck me,

310
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,800
Speaker 1: no exactly, I think, And I think he sort of

311
00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:16,359
Speaker 1: in that moment saw that she was so into destruction,

312
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,080
Speaker 1: that she was so attracted to chaos, and he was

313
00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:21,520
Speaker 1: sort of like weird. It was sort of like I'm

314
00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,399
Speaker 1: my cousins. She was sort of trying to pass it

315
00:18:25,440 --> 00:18:27,199
Speaker 1: off as like it's the end of the world, like

316
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,240
Speaker 1: if you can't fuck me now, when can you? But

317
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:31,399
Speaker 1: he was actually being like, no, what it is is

318
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,320
Speaker 1: that your horny? Yeah, and we have to keep for

319
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:37,160
Speaker 1: mayh Yeah, yeah, exactly right. And I want to build

320
00:18:37,200 --> 00:18:39,959
Speaker 1: and you want to destroy exactly. She's such an iconic,

321
00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:45,080
Speaker 1: chaotic family, like defining storming out. Yeah, I mean everything.

322
00:18:45,200 --> 00:18:47,880
Speaker 1: She's always just like Darling. I mean, because I'm sure

323
00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:49,280
Speaker 1: it wasn't the first time that she had said fuck

324
00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:53,560
Speaker 1: me no. But there is this interesting thing with this

325
00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:57,840
Speaker 1: book where it's like it's written so in her voice,

326
00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:02,680
Speaker 1: like you're being being team Barbara, but then you're thinking like, oh,

327
00:19:02,720 --> 00:19:05,159
Speaker 1: I know this girl, like she's a nightmare, but like

328
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:07,840
Speaker 1: but like it's but at the same time, you're like,

329
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,280
Speaker 1: but maybe there is this like glimmer of hope in

330
00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:12,439
Speaker 1: every page where it's like maybe it was as crazy,

331
00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,879
Speaker 1: like maybe they didn't understand her, Like there is this

332
00:19:15,960 --> 00:19:19,320
Speaker 1: bizarre like but a kindness to her that I do

333
00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:23,199
Speaker 1: think was like real also that she's very kind, but

334
00:19:23,280 --> 00:19:27,080
Speaker 1: I I I agree, because she has an interest in everyone. Yeah,

335
00:19:27,119 --> 00:19:29,560
Speaker 1: you know, And I think, like one thing that Tina

336
00:19:29,600 --> 00:19:31,879
Speaker 1: Brown said that I always think about is you you

337
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:34,240
Speaker 1: can teach someone how to write structure, but you can't

338
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,520
Speaker 1: teach them what to notice. And I think that's so true.

339
00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:40,160
Speaker 1: And when I read this book, I see her noticing

340
00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,560
Speaker 1: the little fat boy. I see her noticing the horny

341
00:19:43,640 --> 00:19:47,000
Speaker 1: other little fat boy, like I see her noticing you know,

342
00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:50,520
Speaker 1: and the tes and you know, and the freaks and

343
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:53,800
Speaker 1: the pores, and you know, she has an eye for

344
00:19:53,920 --> 00:19:57,800
Speaker 1: the downtrodden, that it that is not um feigned. It's

345
00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,800
Speaker 1: like it's too it's too deep. Can I read my

346
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:08,520
Speaker 1: favorite observation should about lesbians? Yes, And it's this whole

347
00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,000
Speaker 1: thing is insane. So she has the whole thing where

348
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,840
Speaker 1: she's like she were it's like no one else is

349
00:20:13,840 --> 00:20:16,560
Speaker 1: writing about this as this prestone butch blues where she's like,

350
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,119
Speaker 1: it's one thing for two girlies to like hook up

351
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:22,239
Speaker 1: and we'd be like two tragic fems. But then she's like,

352
00:20:22,400 --> 00:20:25,760
Speaker 1: but I never hooked up with like a real butch. Yeah. Um,

353
00:20:25,800 --> 00:20:28,080
Speaker 1: And then she and she's writing about it so casually,

354
00:20:28,160 --> 00:20:30,800
Speaker 1: and I it's this window into a world. I'm not ashamed.

355
00:20:31,240 --> 00:20:34,200
Speaker 1: She is not ashamed. So like, obviously everyone knew these

356
00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:36,720
Speaker 1: terms butch and famine. They were like talking about butcher

357
00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,280
Speaker 1: dikes and like fag yets and like it wasn't some

358
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:42,280
Speaker 1: big secret. No, it wasn't like, oh we had to

359
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:44,639
Speaker 1: wait until like you know, the women's movement at the

360
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 1: seventies to learn these terms. Well, what you also realize

361
00:20:47,600 --> 00:20:49,520
Speaker 1: before you go into the thing is that it's so

362
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,960
Speaker 1: much of the scandal is that you realize that Hollywood

363
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,760
Speaker 1: didn't care about anything. It was about getting out to

364
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,280
Speaker 1: like the South in the Midwest. It was like everyone

365
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,400
Speaker 1: knew that so and so is gay. It's just don't

366
00:21:01,440 --> 00:21:04,600
Speaker 1: be public about it because the paper and I'm not right,

367
00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:07,679
Speaker 1: Like it's like it's but everyone in Hollywood was, or

368
00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:12,680
Speaker 1: even just general straight sex totally, but it was only

369
00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,240
Speaker 1: about selling tickets in the South, in the Midwest and

370
00:21:15,320 --> 00:21:18,399
Speaker 1: like more conservative places, and like that's also sort of

371
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,320
Speaker 1: what this book is about, is like how she maneuvered

372
00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:25,919
Speaker 1: her chaotic energy in maybe not a successful way but

373
00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:28,719
Speaker 1: was But she does sort of describe the studio system

374
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,399
Speaker 1: and the press machine in a very cool way. But anyway,

375
00:21:31,520 --> 00:21:35,040
Speaker 1: go for the lesbian and just before lesbians. Like it's

376
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,159
Speaker 1: also of like nothing's changed, Like this whole book is

377
00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:41,680
Speaker 1: so Harvey Weinshing, and it's like except for the real

378
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,480
Speaker 1: estate price, hello, like I'm always shocked where you're like, oh,

379
00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,800
Speaker 1: in olden times, like they didn't talk like this, or

380
00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:50,639
Speaker 1: in olden times, like they didn't do these things. And

381
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,640
Speaker 1: it's like no, she's like calling all these hot girlies

382
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 1: and like putting them in hotel rooms and then sending

383
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:59,000
Speaker 1: like male producers. She knows they're and being like, there's

384
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:02,880
Speaker 1: a surprise for you, and that's how she would get

385
00:22:02,880 --> 00:22:05,040
Speaker 1: a part. Like there's that whole part where she was like,

386
00:22:05,400 --> 00:22:07,359
Speaker 1: all you have to do is send a hot girl

387
00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 1: to the hotel and then you tell that guy that

388
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 1: just fucked her that you want the part. And it's like,

389
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,119
Speaker 1: how does that work? But it does. There's all the

390
00:22:15,160 --> 00:22:23,159
Speaker 1: other lay in the house stone boots. She goes and

391
00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:26,560
Speaker 1: fucks the writer of that script to try and get

392
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 1: the role. He's like, because he can campaign to the director.

393
00:22:30,240 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 1: And she's like, sent all these photos of herself, like

394
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,240
Speaker 1: looking like Betty Davis to the director or whatever, and

395
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,080
Speaker 1: he's they're all kind of ignoring them because it was

396
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,000
Speaker 1: kind of a reprise of this old Betty Davis role.

397
00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:40,560
Speaker 1: Then she's like, you know what, I'm gonna have to

398
00:22:40,560 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 1: pull out the big guns, the big guns. I'm gonna

399
00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:48,359
Speaker 1: have to go fuck the writer. Yes we can imagine

400
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 1: named Joe. It's like, oh my fucking but that he

401
00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 1: couldn't even get hurt the role. And it was that

402
00:22:55,359 --> 00:22:57,960
Speaker 1: moment I think she actually decided to go to Mexico anyway,

403
00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:01,119
Speaker 1: go back and lesbian lesbian. So first I mean we

404
00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:08,720
Speaker 1: talked I but first Okay, I know we talked a

405
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 1: lot about on this podcast, you know, just lesbian pimp disease, right,

406
00:23:12,600 --> 00:23:17,359
Speaker 1: and I feel like she being such a leaning again

407
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:23,840
Speaker 1: it was like this like double breasted soon exactly. She

408
00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:26,000
Speaker 1: didn't waste any time. So she finally this is her

409
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,520
Speaker 1: first hook up with a butchah, which is also I

410
00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,479
Speaker 1: feel like first, like very original of her, like not

411
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 1: a lot of queer texts happened where it's like, yeah,

412
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:35,520
Speaker 1: this is it. She knows that is a different gender.

413
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:38,040
Speaker 1: She didn't waste any time. She was like a man,

414
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,960
Speaker 1: but a wolfman. The minute I got into that place,

415
00:23:41,000 --> 00:23:42,800
Speaker 1: she got the clothes off me, and five minutes later

416
00:23:42,840 --> 00:23:44,840
Speaker 1: I was on the bed, a victim of her unnatural

417
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:46,720
Speaker 1: desires with range from a kiss on the lips to

418
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,119
Speaker 1: perversions I had never even heard about it, let alone experience.

419
00:23:50,160 --> 00:23:53,080
Speaker 1: And when she when she was exhausted after several hours,

420
00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:55,239
Speaker 1: I was bruised and beaten and heard all over so

421
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 1: total surface top. It sounds like she was just like

422
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 1: fisted in fun. And then I'm just gonna so then

423
00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:07,120
Speaker 1: Alsenson's saying this butch locks her perfect and says, don't

424
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:12,880
Speaker 1: you dare leave? Scares absolutely scary but hot. Yeah, and

425
00:24:12,920 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 1: then Lynch goes. What I also found out much later

426
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:18,160
Speaker 1: is that dikes and butchers are usually behind their masculine looks. Yeah,

427
00:24:18,320 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 1: shy and frightened, Yeah, seldom cruel. They need a fem

428
00:24:21,840 --> 00:24:23,919
Speaker 1: and when they get one, they are as gracious and

429
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 1: consider as a man on the make. The difference is

430
00:24:27,359 --> 00:24:30,400
Speaker 1: a man loses some of his thoughtfulness after he scores,

431
00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:33,960
Speaker 1: while a dike never does. Yes, Yes, I know that.

432
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:40,240
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm literally I was like, okay modern.

433
00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:51,119
Speaker 1: This episode is sponsored by zok Doc. You're trying to

434
00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:54,960
Speaker 1: find a cause for your symptoms achy back, headache, running

435
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:59,280
Speaker 1: knows itchy. I worked on my genitals, so let me

436
00:24:59,320 --> 00:25:02,320
Speaker 1: guess you umble down a TikTok rabbit hole full of

437
00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:06,439
Speaker 1: questionable advice from so called experts. Suddenly I have cancer. No,

438
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:10,680
Speaker 1: thank you. There are better ways to get the answers

439
00:25:10,720 --> 00:25:13,920
Speaker 1: you want and the care you deserve, from trusted professionals

440
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:17,639
Speaker 1: and not random people on the internet. Though Randoms, I

441
00:25:17,720 --> 00:25:21,199
Speaker 1: love you and my TikTok connection. Yeah it stands, but

442
00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:24,399
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. You shouldn't be getting medical advice from some

443
00:25:24,600 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 1: groner grandmother's basement in Toronto. Zok Doc helps you find

444
00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 1: expert doctors and medical professionals that specialize in the care

445
00:25:32,359 --> 00:25:35,600
Speaker 1: you need and deliver the type of experience you want.

446
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:39,879
Speaker 1: That's right, ditch the talk, get the doc. Zoktok is

447
00:25:39,920 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 1: the only free app that lets you find a book

448
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,840
Speaker 1: doctors who are patient reviewed, take your insurance, are available

449
00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 1: when you need them, and treat almost every condition under

450
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:52,920
Speaker 1: the sun. No more doctor roulette or scouring the internet

451
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:56,320
Speaker 1: for questionable reviews. With zok doc, you have a trusted

452
00:25:56,359 --> 00:26:00,600
Speaker 1: guide to connect you to your favorite doctor you haven't met. Yeah,

453
00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,360
Speaker 1: I love a trusted guide, like the time I climbed

454
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:05,880
Speaker 1: to Machi Pechu on the Inca Trail with a team

455
00:26:05,880 --> 00:26:08,800
Speaker 1: of sherpas. Millions of people use zokdos free app to

456
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,920
Speaker 1: find and book a doctor in their neighborhood who is

457
00:26:10,960 --> 00:26:14,040
Speaker 1: patient reviewed and fits their needs and schedule just right.

458
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,440
Speaker 1: So find your sherfa at zoc dot dot com. Go

459
00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:19,720
Speaker 1: to zok dot dot com, slash book club and dabbled

460
00:26:19,800 --> 00:26:23,840
Speaker 1: the zok doc app for free. Then find n book

461
00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:28,880
Speaker 1: a top rated doctor today sleigh. Many are available within

462
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:35,040
Speaker 1: twenty four hours. That's z o c d oc dot com,

463
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 1: slash book Club, zok dot dot com slash book club,

464
00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:52,720
Speaker 1: ditch the talk. We're doing so much theory. That's the

465
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,680
Speaker 1: other thing about this book. There's this cut this book.

466
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,320
Speaker 1: You never have to read a theory book again, because

467
00:26:57,320 --> 00:27:00,000
Speaker 1: she's just saying it in a sentence, let's go boom,

468
00:27:00,040 --> 00:27:03,560
Speaker 1: yeah it. And it's between so much psychedelia and going

469
00:27:03,600 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 1: back and forth and you don't really know what's going on,

470
00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:09,200
Speaker 1: and then she goes with these sentences that cut your

471
00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:15,320
Speaker 1: penis is off. The way that she diagnoses desire and

472
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:18,440
Speaker 1: exactar and what is at the root of our anxiety

473
00:27:18,520 --> 00:27:21,159
Speaker 1: in an instant and so confidently right, she's not saying that.

474
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 1: It's like, you know, I've noticed that she's I think

475
00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:27,520
Speaker 1: that dikes are its Dikes are like this, yes, dikes

476
00:27:27,600 --> 00:27:30,119
Speaker 1: through this period, and it's like that is so true.

477
00:27:30,119 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, one, that is why it's like I

478
00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,199
Speaker 1: feel like dikes are like personally myself, You're like I

479
00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:37,399
Speaker 1: have to be this huge man and the yeah. But

480
00:27:37,440 --> 00:27:39,480
Speaker 1: of course since you've done which work to do that,

481
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,480
Speaker 1: you are like shy on the inside and then are

482
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:44,920
Speaker 1: like I, you know, I love all the scenes where

483
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:48,679
Speaker 1: she is um where she's describing some interaction. You're at

484
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 1: the man, and she's really really zeroing in on his

485
00:27:52,359 --> 00:27:55,520
Speaker 1: attraction and the power that she has over him. The

486
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:59,160
Speaker 1: first time that she realizes she has this power over

487
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:06,000
Speaker 1: man is the incident. Um. So there's this boy, Edward,

488
00:28:06,080 --> 00:28:09,919
Speaker 1: and she wants to fish in his stream. Yeah, this

489
00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 1: is a so he goes, My name is Edward. He offered,

490
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:15,480
Speaker 1: will you give me a kiss if I give the

491
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,520
Speaker 1: whole stream to you and whatever's in it like fish?

492
00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 1: And she goes, But I already won the stream and

493
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:25,280
Speaker 1: the fish. I was no slob, and I learned fast.

494
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,360
Speaker 1: Maybe for a kiss I could get something I didn't have.

495
00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:32,200
Speaker 1: It seemed like an easy way to get something. Well, Edward,

496
00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,239
Speaker 1: I said, sweetly, maybe you could have a kiss if

497
00:28:35,280 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 1: you had something that I wanted, like a kitten, for instance.

498
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:42,120
Speaker 1: I've always wanted a tiny kitten. Sure, I'll get you

499
00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:44,680
Speaker 1: a kitten, he said eagerly. He slashed into the stream

500
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:48,320
Speaker 1: to kiss me. But I was wise the kitten first,

501
00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 1: I smiled. I don't remember anymore whether he got me

502
00:28:57,320 --> 00:28:59,080
Speaker 1: the kitten or whether I even gave him the kiss,

503
00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:02,320
Speaker 1: but the scene was awakening. Yeah, I mean she knew,

504
00:29:02,400 --> 00:29:06,240
Speaker 1: and well, there is just the promise. It's the promise.

505
00:29:06,520 --> 00:29:10,680
Speaker 1: It's the promise, and like, yeah, she's I know, and

506
00:29:10,760 --> 00:29:13,600
Speaker 1: like how she's born with totally and there is something

507
00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:17,240
Speaker 1: so so contemporary about her, Like the way she looked

508
00:29:17,640 --> 00:29:22,040
Speaker 1: was so like literally euphoria boots where it's like she

509
00:29:22,160 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 1: also wore like fate. I just talked about this in

510
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:27,280
Speaker 1: my show. She wore face tattoos on her face, like

511
00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 1: little hearts on her face and little devils on her

512
00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:37,440
Speaker 1: face literally and like she and also which is described

513
00:29:37,480 --> 00:29:39,160
Speaker 1: in the book, but I forgot where it was. How

514
00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 1: she got the Jimmy Cagney part was that it was

515
00:29:41,600 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 1: a sweltering hot day. She walks into the casting office.

516
00:29:44,520 --> 00:29:48,560
Speaker 1: Every girl is pretending to be not hot. Yeah they're sweating.

517
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:50,520
Speaker 1: I'm not sweating. I'm not talking. She walks into the

518
00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:54,280
Speaker 1: casting office, she opens up her cart, she fans her crotch,

519
00:29:54,320 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 1: and she goes, it's a fucking day. And that's how

520
00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 1: she gets it. And there's another girl in the room,

521
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:03,520
Speaker 1: all yeah, who faints on the couch because it's just

522
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:08,520
Speaker 1: like Barbara Payton's like fanning her cootie. But I was right,

523
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:12,400
Speaker 1: as someone with no agent here, I was like, why

524
00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:14,920
Speaker 1: am I a part? Yes, but another part of that

525
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,240
Speaker 1: just walking into the casting room. Well, that's the thing

526
00:30:19,400 --> 00:30:23,080
Speaker 1: is I feel you have that. Okay, so this is

527
00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,800
Speaker 1: this isn't this is an interesting thing that you do

528
00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:29,320
Speaker 1: need to do all this stuff. I have only weeks

529
00:30:29,400 --> 00:30:32,400
Speaker 1: ago realize that we are going to have to be

530
00:30:32,760 --> 00:30:40,640
Speaker 1: staging and only you know, a few weeks ago I did,

531
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:44,040
Speaker 1: because we get more forgettable by the day. No, totally,

532
00:30:44,040 --> 00:30:47,360
Speaker 1: and you're gonna have to go No, I want this. Hello,

533
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 1: you're knock knock, And that is true. I don't think again.

534
00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 1: Barbara Payment is a great example where it's like you

535
00:30:54,120 --> 00:30:56,200
Speaker 1: also then have to show up on time and be

536
00:30:56,240 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 1: a great actress. And there is like Lohanna no hanic

537
00:31:02,400 --> 00:31:05,480
Speaker 1: and I do think there's not there's a rawness to

538
00:31:05,760 --> 00:31:13,440
Speaker 1: her talent that I've read about you sobssed. I was

539
00:31:13,800 --> 00:31:16,240
Speaker 1: I really thinking you were gonna be like well and

540
00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:20,080
Speaker 1: and then yeah, I'm just gonna be honest here I

541
00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:23,480
Speaker 1: am not ashamed. And then we go. You know, she

542
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 1: her you can see in her photos even like she's

543
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:30,720
Speaker 1: obviously raw girl, raw girl, but if you see the

544
00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 1: other girls that were raw girls, one of them being

545
00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:36,360
Speaker 1: Shelly Winter is my favorite actress actually of all time.

546
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:39,600
Speaker 1: Who's such a haunted but she's but no, no, no,

547
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:45,120
Speaker 1: Shelley Winters prevailed. She was like very very But what

548
00:31:45,200 --> 00:31:49,280
Speaker 1: Shelley Winters, for example, was this sort of raw, you know,

549
00:31:49,560 --> 00:31:52,880
Speaker 1: nerve of a talent. But she studied her craft like

550
00:31:52,960 --> 00:31:57,880
Speaker 1: obsessively and then as she like in the sixties, after

551
00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:01,400
Speaker 1: Lolita and a few other part she just decided like

552
00:32:01,520 --> 00:32:04,440
Speaker 1: I just want to teach actors. I'm so over the

553
00:32:04,440 --> 00:32:08,760
Speaker 1: ship and just sat in a bar fucked everybody and

554
00:32:08,880 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 1: got fat and just and like was just like yeah,

555
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:16,040
Speaker 1: because but it's because she had she was so she

556
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:19,360
Speaker 1: was such an equipped skilled actor that she could do

557
00:32:19,400 --> 00:32:21,560
Speaker 1: whatever she wants. Like there is this aspect of Barbera

558
00:32:21,560 --> 00:32:24,600
Speaker 1: where it's like she is a cautionary tale a little

559
00:32:24,600 --> 00:32:26,320
Speaker 1: bit in terms of like when your mom's like you

560
00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,080
Speaker 1: do need a skill of all back on, like you

561
00:32:29,080 --> 00:32:30,800
Speaker 1: know what I mean. But you're saying that she maybe

562
00:32:30,920 --> 00:32:33,000
Speaker 1: wasn't that give an actress or is she or she

563
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,960
Speaker 1: got far for how good? I think yes, I think

564
00:32:35,960 --> 00:32:37,600
Speaker 1: she got as far as as good she was. And

565
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:42,680
Speaker 1: I don't think because acting, mind you is you do

566
00:32:42,480 --> 00:32:45,640
Speaker 1: I'm not like a huge study study study, But I

567
00:32:45,680 --> 00:32:47,960
Speaker 1: do think you need a technique to fall back on,

568
00:32:48,240 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 1: you do. A lot of her roles were film noir

569
00:32:50,920 --> 00:32:54,240
Speaker 1: where she's getting like abused and shit. And I do

570
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:57,480
Speaker 1: think she was like a raw nerve and I don't

571
00:32:57,480 --> 00:33:00,560
Speaker 1: think she really could recuperate from a lot of this work. Like,

572
00:33:00,640 --> 00:33:04,200
Speaker 1: I don't think she had the skill to keep chugging

573
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:07,480
Speaker 1: out the raw nervous without It's like, you can't be

574
00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:11,320
Speaker 1: a raw nerve on screen and then also be fucking

575
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 1: every night and alcohol like, because it feeds each other.

576
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 1: But it does need to be sort of yeah, well

577
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 1: understood as like your craft. I think you're right, And

578
00:33:21,800 --> 00:33:24,440
Speaker 1: I think it's like if you're say Reese Witherspoon and

579
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:27,200
Speaker 1: you're always playing like uptype mom characters. Yeah, and she

580
00:33:27,240 --> 00:33:30,320
Speaker 1: could use a little more, you know. She like she's

581
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:34,000
Speaker 1: just running her like empire, business, shirt line, book club whatever.

582
00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 1: There's like, that's fine to do that twenty four seven, totally.

583
00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:41,080
Speaker 1: But if your thing is being insane like raw nerve,

584
00:33:41,640 --> 00:33:44,680
Speaker 1: it's being like dramatic woman who's getting in fights and

585
00:33:44,720 --> 00:33:47,680
Speaker 1: breaking bottles, It's like you can't do that twenty four seven.

586
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:50,000
Speaker 1: And when you have to find the discipline in the

587
00:33:50,040 --> 00:33:52,000
Speaker 1: structure in order to be able to turn it on

588
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:56,520
Speaker 1: and off because also what happens, like around nineteen fifty three,

589
00:33:56,680 --> 00:34:00,760
Speaker 1: she got married to Joan Crawford's ex, Francio Tone, Okay,

590
00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:03,400
Speaker 1: and then there was this love affair with this like butch,

591
00:34:04,240 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 1: like basically a triangle, which is so fabulous, so fabulous,

592
00:34:10,280 --> 00:34:14,120
Speaker 1: but it ended in this brawl that like got Francio

593
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:18,759
Speaker 1: Tone like severely injured. Tom Neil was like a fucking boxer,

594
00:34:18,920 --> 00:34:22,080
Speaker 1: brawlic dude. She talks about his body and everybody, yes,

595
00:34:22,239 --> 00:34:24,560
Speaker 1: and that like every it was so passionate, was the

596
00:34:24,600 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 1: love of her life whatever, But she left Franciotone was

597
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 1: really respected in Hollywood, and she left him basically for

598
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:32,719
Speaker 1: Tom O'Neill. But there was like trials she had to

599
00:34:32,760 --> 00:34:36,560
Speaker 1: go to. She was so publicly the girl in the movies,

600
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:38,440
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? And that is the

601
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 1: issue where it's like you can't be a gangster on

602
00:34:41,000 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 1: screen and a gangster off screen. In nineteen fifty This

603
00:34:44,320 --> 00:34:46,839
Speaker 1: is a court photo. It is that is a court

604
00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:49,160
Speaker 1: photo from one of her arrest is a prostitute, right,

605
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 1: it's a prostitute when she that's a prostitute arrest, But

606
00:34:52,280 --> 00:34:54,560
Speaker 1: she was arrested many times. The first time she did

607
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:57,560
Speaker 1: appear in court was in the Tom o'neial in Franciotone case,

608
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:01,719
Speaker 1: and that was such a huge scam endle in Hollywood

609
00:35:01,719 --> 00:35:04,360
Speaker 1: at the time, and like you do need to like

610
00:35:04,520 --> 00:35:07,680
Speaker 1: image make like it's like and it's like, why would

611
00:35:08,440 --> 00:35:10,400
Speaker 1: There's an aspect of Barbara Payton where it's like you

612
00:35:10,440 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 1: feel like she didn't even subtly change, like she was

613
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:17,040
Speaker 1: just purely herself all the time, which initially got her

614
00:35:17,080 --> 00:35:21,240
Speaker 1: the parts because she's so vivacious and cool and confident. Yeah, exactly,

615
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:24,200
Speaker 1: fuck I'm hot today, I'm sweating my balls off. But

616
00:35:24,239 --> 00:35:25,920
Speaker 1: it's like, and we love that, but if it's like

617
00:35:26,040 --> 00:35:28,920
Speaker 1: that all the time, well, the comparison to May West,

618
00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,120
Speaker 1: who was playing these body characters and then was also

619
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:33,200
Speaker 1: body in real life, but I think may West was

620
00:35:33,239 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 1: a little more like she was actually more Reese Witherspoons

621
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:39,239
Speaker 1: and so disciplined and it's like I'm actually working NonStop

622
00:35:39,239 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: and yes, maybe I am married to five men, but

623
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,040
Speaker 1: the work. Well, the other thing, well, the other thing

624
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:47,600
Speaker 1: about may West. May West when she arrived in Hollywood

625
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:52,000
Speaker 1: was forty in nineteen thirty, nineteen twenty nine. Oh so

626
00:35:52,040 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 1: she was already going into playing the Madame of the pub.

627
00:35:54,760 --> 00:35:59,440
Speaker 1: Not only that, No, she had survived her reactionary twenties,

628
00:35:59,440 --> 00:36:01,239
Speaker 1: do you not eve? And she had survived such a

629
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 1: large portion of her life where it's like she was

630
00:36:03,400 --> 00:36:07,040
Speaker 1: going into Hollywood as a as a fully formed human being,

631
00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:14,040
Speaker 1: whereas Barbara Payton was nineteen eighteen and was just like, Okay,

632
00:36:14,400 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Yes, no, I know, and

633
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 1: everyone needs to know about me west being forty in

634
00:36:19,400 --> 00:36:24,359
Speaker 1: nineteen twenty nine, which is seven hundred years my entire

635
00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:27,840
Speaker 1: higher life, I know. And the thing about Barbara Payton

636
00:36:27,960 --> 00:36:31,319
Speaker 1: is Barbara Payton is a story similar to the fact.

637
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:34,320
Speaker 1: If you think that Drew Barrymore literally was twenty seven

638
00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:38,240
Speaker 1: when she produced Charlie's Angels, you go, how is that possible?

639
00:36:38,360 --> 00:36:40,680
Speaker 1: She seems like she was forty five, and you go,

640
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:44,080
Speaker 1: because she was so young. Yeah, And it's the thing

641
00:36:44,160 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 1: is is like, no one should want early fame because

642
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:50,960
Speaker 1: you get older faster, litter RELLI because do you know

643
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:54,280
Speaker 1: what I mean, Barbara Payton is the story of literally

644
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 1: being old by the time you're thirty nine. I mean,

645
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:59,160
Speaker 1: she aged quite rapidly. Yeah, But it's not only just

646
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:02,640
Speaker 1: about the heavy drink. It's about like get out of fame. Yes,

647
00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:05,560
Speaker 1: crew is the success and then it's like all those

648
00:37:05,600 --> 00:37:08,080
Speaker 1: other Bratt Pack eighty stars who were like molested and

649
00:37:08,080 --> 00:37:14,440
Speaker 1: then became Christian and like exactly the Yeah, she had

650
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 1: a very interesting quote about fame where she said stardom

651
00:37:18,080 --> 00:37:22,359
Speaker 1: requires faith in what it is. Yeah, remember this, which

652
00:37:22,760 --> 00:37:27,879
Speaker 1: you and she's saying that if you are too smart, right, so,

653
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:31,080
Speaker 1: if you if you see the seams, if you pull

654
00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:33,800
Speaker 1: back the curtain and you kind of get that, oh

655
00:37:33,840 --> 00:37:38,680
Speaker 1: maybe like um, just getting adoration from random people and

656
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:41,480
Speaker 1: getting these accolades and getting some guy who wants your

657
00:37:41,480 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 1: autograph is actually kind of hollow. If you start to

658
00:37:44,560 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 1: see that, then you're gonna lose stardom because like you're

659
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 1: gonna lose the drive to pursue it. You're gonna lose

660
00:37:51,520 --> 00:37:54,080
Speaker 1: like all the trappings of that come with it because

661
00:37:54,080 --> 00:37:56,120
Speaker 1: you're just not going to care as much. And it's

662
00:37:56,160 --> 00:37:57,839
Speaker 1: gonna and it's gonna slip away from you and it's

663
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:00,279
Speaker 1: good and it's gonna go to someone who believes in it.

664
00:38:00,480 --> 00:38:02,560
Speaker 1: You have to lie to yourself. We're probably all lying

665
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:06,200
Speaker 1: to ourself. I mean, I mean that's soape so but

666
00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:09,480
Speaker 1: but I do think Also what's so interesting is that

667
00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:14,560
Speaker 1: she also like sort of characterizes this compulsion to be

668
00:38:14,719 --> 00:38:17,399
Speaker 1: famous as like a disease, which I really do think

669
00:38:17,520 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 1: is and is also again pre theory, like Camille Papliah

670
00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:25,719
Speaker 1: like is like so major and okay, So this is

671
00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:28,440
Speaker 1: also in the prologue, so she like goes to Mexico.

672
00:38:28,600 --> 00:38:32,799
Speaker 1: Doo doo, doo doo. My big problems were what to

673
00:38:32,880 --> 00:38:37,160
Speaker 1: cook for dinner and how huh. Maybe that was the

674
00:38:37,239 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 1: life I was cut out to lead, you think, but

675
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:44,680
Speaker 1: it was inevitable that the ants in my pants would

676
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:49,960
Speaker 1: start crawling again. I wanted to be happier than happy,

677
00:38:50,080 --> 00:38:54,680
Speaker 1: and that's always a big mistake. And like, oh yeah,

678
00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:56,320
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It was like the she's

679
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 1: like nuclear with her truth. No, I mean, and I

680
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:01,160
Speaker 1: wanted to be happier and happy and that's always a

681
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:04,359
Speaker 1: big mistake. I mean, like my hair fi Yeah, yeah, yeah,

682
00:39:05,600 --> 00:39:07,799
Speaker 1: absolutely it is. I want to be happier and happy.

683
00:39:07,800 --> 00:39:10,400
Speaker 1: It's it's just like because you just can't feel contented,

684
00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,359
Speaker 1: Yeah you can't. You just can't be satisfied, you can't

685
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:16,320
Speaker 1: just be present. The other thing about it, also this

686
00:39:16,440 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 1: book is like I'm not ashamed. Is this book where

687
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:21,960
Speaker 1: it's like, right, it could be a cautionary tale, but

688
00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 1: I argue, don't get too caught up on anything. I mean,

689
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:30,040
Speaker 1: the idea that she wasn't caught up, I think it

690
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:31,920
Speaker 1: is a lie as well, That's what I'm saying, But

691
00:39:32,000 --> 00:39:33,960
Speaker 1: that's what I mean. It's like I think she was

692
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:37,759
Speaker 1: taking to the rosette, but I do think there was

693
00:39:37,840 --> 00:39:40,520
Speaker 1: moments in which she wasn't caught up that were sort

694
00:39:40,560 --> 00:39:43,799
Speaker 1: of real. But I do think, like I do think

695
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:46,080
Speaker 1: this is like not like it is a sad book.

696
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 1: It actually did sort of depress me when I finished it,

697
00:39:49,239 --> 00:39:51,200
Speaker 1: but it is a sad book, but it's also like

698
00:39:51,280 --> 00:39:56,280
Speaker 1: this bizarre thing of like Babe, it comes, it goes,

699
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 1: it goes sad ways, it goes left, it goes right,

700
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:01,239
Speaker 1: like buggle up Buttercup, like it's gonna be okay, like

701
00:40:01,600 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 1: even though it wasn't ultimately okay for her, Like there

702
00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:07,040
Speaker 1: is this aspect I don't know, there is this like

703
00:40:07,120 --> 00:40:10,200
Speaker 1: sort of freedom in this book that I do think

704
00:40:10,960 --> 00:40:14,360
Speaker 1: it is abjectively sad and horrifying, but it also isn't

705
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 1: there's this other idea what that is? I honestly think

706
00:40:19,000 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 1: I read. I feel like we've read other members where

707
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:23,760
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of like, you know, maybe Elizabeth Taylor,

708
00:40:23,840 --> 00:40:26,600
Speaker 1: who has so much strgedy but like obviously like died

709
00:40:26,719 --> 00:40:30,280
Speaker 1: richer and like more respected than yeah, than her. But

710
00:40:30,280 --> 00:40:32,439
Speaker 1: but you know, what is dying rich? What is dying

711
00:40:32,440 --> 00:40:34,800
Speaker 1: with respect? What is dying with some sort of legacy?

712
00:40:34,960 --> 00:40:37,120
Speaker 1: Is that all it's for? Because you're dead when you're dead,

713
00:40:37,239 --> 00:40:39,759
Speaker 1: you know, totally, And so the idea that oh, thank

714
00:40:39,800 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 1: god I've left behind like this incredible Wikipedia page, yes exactly,

715
00:40:45,120 --> 00:40:48,719
Speaker 1: is more depressing, right because, like you know, obviously like

716
00:40:48,760 --> 00:40:50,520
Speaker 1: the classic way to look at a life like this, well,

717
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,520
Speaker 1: she lived more lives than her little pinky than most

718
00:40:52,560 --> 00:40:56,080
Speaker 1: people never do, you know, and they're all goddamn life, absolutely,

719
00:40:56,160 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 1: and so you know, that's fabulous, and she has a

720
00:40:58,080 --> 00:41:01,759
Speaker 1: lot to say, a lot of great At some points,

721
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:04,239
Speaker 1: I was getting a little bit Lda Dunham vibe yea

722
00:41:04,719 --> 00:41:08,799
Speaker 1: from her. I know there is honestly, I mean I

723
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:13,480
Speaker 1: guess es actually her relationship, yeah, which Lita. What I

724
00:41:13,520 --> 00:41:18,160
Speaker 1: appreciate is the honesty. Obviously. I I wonder if there

725
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,239
Speaker 1: when when she's talking about desire and show with the

726
00:41:20,239 --> 00:41:21,759
Speaker 1: things that make her happy the moments when she was

727
00:41:21,840 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 1: most happy, Like you said your hair fell out, It's

728
00:41:24,080 --> 00:41:27,080
Speaker 1: like I felt like that is so accurate, accurate, And

729
00:41:27,080 --> 00:41:28,920
Speaker 1: I felt the same thing for myself. I was like, well,

730
00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:30,719
Speaker 1: of course that the happiest times in my life have

731
00:41:30,760 --> 00:41:34,160
Speaker 1: been these moments when I felt incredibly desired, right yes,

732
00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,160
Speaker 1: and and and these moments when I felt incredibly successful

733
00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:38,879
Speaker 1: at the top of the world. Everybody wanted a piece

734
00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:43,360
Speaker 1: of me, And and I wonder, I guess I like

735
00:41:43,480 --> 00:41:45,359
Speaker 1: it it's better to be honest about that than to lie.

736
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 1: Of course, right, yes, for your own sanity. But I

737
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:53,480
Speaker 1: also wonder is that all there is? You know, because

738
00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:56,960
Speaker 1: then you is there something else? Is there? This contentment?

739
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 1: You know? She was never truly happy on the beach

740
00:41:59,080 --> 00:42:01,839
Speaker 1: in Mexico. Well, it's more time. Can we talk about

741
00:42:01,840 --> 00:42:04,160
Speaker 1: her strategy of like to come off as like woke

742
00:42:04,320 --> 00:42:06,799
Speaker 1: and like fuck with the studio system by bringing a

743
00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:11,319
Speaker 1: black guy and then use me Oh yeah, okay, this

744
00:42:11,440 --> 00:42:15,040
Speaker 1: was like such a modern like white girl tail. So

745
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:17,520
Speaker 1: she's like wants to give it to the studio system

746
00:42:17,600 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 1: and she's like, yeah, I love like black guys, and

747
00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:22,640
Speaker 1: so like she brings this guy and like if the

748
00:42:22,680 --> 00:42:25,040
Speaker 1: studio system like freaks out and they're like no black

749
00:42:25,080 --> 00:42:28,359
Speaker 1: people allowed at this studio party. And then of course

750
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:32,440
Speaker 1: they get patro apartment and she's like fuck me and

751
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,880
Speaker 1: he's like up yeah, and he's like, um, I actually

752
00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:38,640
Speaker 1: prefer you don't use me to like get a rouse

753
00:42:39,280 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 1: like out of the studio after mister MGM. And she's like,

754
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 1: oh fine, and then she's like learning moment, I got it. Yeah.

755
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:48,640
Speaker 1: But then she also then in the end finds out

756
00:42:48,640 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 1: that the head of MGM was having sex with her

757
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 1: black maid and who she gave a photo to. Yeah,

758
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:58,680
Speaker 1: and then she takes nude pictures of the maid and

759
00:42:58,840 --> 00:43:01,160
Speaker 1: gives it to the studio and be like ding dong,

760
00:43:01,360 --> 00:43:05,480
Speaker 1: I know yours, Like here's a little photo for you.

761
00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:11,680
Speaker 1: And it's like she's taking out f stop color. You know,

762
00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:14,360
Speaker 1: it's like she's doing full photo class. And there is

763
00:43:14,080 --> 00:43:17,320
Speaker 1: there is aspects where it's like, Barbara, are these good strategies?

764
00:43:17,960 --> 00:43:21,719
Speaker 1: Just terrified of you like her, like, girl, where are

765
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:24,160
Speaker 1: you getting that? When she figured out that like the

766
00:43:24,200 --> 00:43:27,240
Speaker 1: shaw of a ram had like that actually been fucking

767
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 1: this young star baby like a baby star baby style

768
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:32,960
Speaker 1: it and like and actually because the new star in

769
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:34,640
Speaker 1: the movie that she'd been passed over for was this

770
00:43:34,760 --> 00:43:37,520
Speaker 1: aging old woman who then later got photographed with the

771
00:43:37,520 --> 00:43:39,560
Speaker 1: Shaw in the water, but the photos were from very

772
00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:42,080
Speaker 1: far away and New Canteen, and she realized it was

773
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:44,319
Speaker 1: actually the young stylet and this was all the cover

774
00:43:44,640 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 1: because the studio found out, and so they gave the

775
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:50,160
Speaker 1: reporter a false story to plant, right, and so then

776
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:53,360
Speaker 1: the old the old actress got the part because she

777
00:43:53,760 --> 00:43:56,879
Speaker 1: was higher. And it's like she reveals it and she's

778
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:59,360
Speaker 1: like sort of saunters into the mgm Off. It's always

779
00:43:59,440 --> 00:44:05,320
Speaker 1: mgm Off talking about it's never like only at our Chao,

780
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:10,279
Speaker 1: but she wanted to check it was actually Arkado, which

781
00:44:10,360 --> 00:44:12,400
Speaker 1: is actually um and James Cagney was actually owned by

782
00:44:12,440 --> 00:44:17,800
Speaker 1: Warner Brothers. And then she's like revealing that she knows

783
00:44:18,000 --> 00:44:22,440
Speaker 1: the tea and she'd be like, well, well, well, my, my, my,

784
00:44:22,840 --> 00:44:26,400
Speaker 1: how a show girl does get around? Doesn't she be

785
00:44:26,440 --> 00:44:29,279
Speaker 1: ashamed for her to take a boat ride, wouldn't it.

786
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:34,040
Speaker 1: And then the head of it is like going, anyways

787
00:44:34,120 --> 00:44:38,600
Speaker 1: you knew and then and but and then period she

788
00:44:38,719 --> 00:44:42,560
Speaker 1: doesn't get get the party. So she's like at work,

789
00:44:43,280 --> 00:44:47,840
Speaker 1: she's like and I'm just practice it's like she's a mastermind. Really,

790
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:52,120
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do the same thing to like the executive

791
00:44:52,120 --> 00:44:55,480
Speaker 1: producer of Euphoria, and I'm gonna like, I'm gonna pimp

792
00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 1: out some you know, some boys sent him actually to

793
00:44:59,360 --> 00:45:02,920
Speaker 1: Florida to then to Milan and then take a secret video.

794
00:45:03,040 --> 00:45:06,839
Speaker 1: I don't get a roll, and I'm like, CEE, did

795
00:45:06,960 --> 00:45:15,279
Speaker 1: that works? They week in the vip Lounge, we have

796
00:45:15,640 --> 00:45:21,160
Speaker 1: Ruby McCollister dishing some nasty dirt about Hollywood and that

797
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,239
Speaker 1: full episode and an episode just like it will be

798
00:45:23,239 --> 00:45:25,840
Speaker 1: out every week. And best of all, if you subscribe

799
00:45:25,880 --> 00:45:29,600
Speaker 1: on Patreon, you can hear our podcast with no ants.

800
00:45:29,960 --> 00:45:33,600
Speaker 1: Here's a clip from this week's show. You know, I

801
00:45:33,719 --> 00:45:39,160
Speaker 1: dismissed Marian Williamson in the presidential election completely Crossley. Crossley

802
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:42,960
Speaker 1: was onto so no and I'm so mad at myself

803
00:45:43,200 --> 00:45:48,840
Speaker 1: that I betrayed myself who I am and said, Oh, Marian,

804
00:45:49,160 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 1: what was the fuck was I talking about? Oh? Let

805
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:53,479
Speaker 1: me guess you were trying to impress up. Bernie Brooke.

806
00:45:53,560 --> 00:45:57,600
Speaker 1: Probably subscribe on Patreon, dot com, slash CBC the pod

807
00:45:57,800 --> 00:46:00,399
Speaker 1: to get more content like that every single go week

808
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:07,880
Speaker 1: for only five dollars a month. The segment studio system.

809
00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:13,160
Speaker 1: What does she wear, how does she live? Does she eat?

810
00:46:13,239 --> 00:46:18,800
Speaker 1: She loves clams, startling why it's laws giving rose and

811
00:46:18,960 --> 00:46:23,920
Speaker 1: clams and also oranges. She mentions oranges, Alara, Cara, it's

812
00:46:24,080 --> 00:46:27,520
Speaker 1: very much. Well, it's very like crazy grandmother sending you

813
00:46:27,560 --> 00:46:31,759
Speaker 1: a box of oranges. Did she get my own? Yes, dollars.

814
00:46:31,880 --> 00:46:35,560
Speaker 1: There wasn't as much food back, there wasn't. Barbara Payton's

815
00:46:35,760 --> 00:46:39,400
Speaker 1: very she's very from Texas. She's very much like cow

816
00:46:39,840 --> 00:46:51,160
Speaker 1: cow orange. You know, she's in orange orange exactly clam

817
00:46:51,239 --> 00:46:54,200
Speaker 1: if I'm in Mexico, Yeah, exactly, clam if I'm in Mexico.

818
00:46:54,480 --> 00:46:58,000
Speaker 1: What does she wear? I mean mink that was given

819
00:46:58,040 --> 00:47:01,239
Speaker 1: to her to me, She's like, isn't she like going

820
00:47:01,239 --> 00:47:02,960
Speaker 1: out in a slip dress like she she kind of

821
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:06,960
Speaker 1: invent Yeah she did. I feel like she was like, yeah,

822
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:10,160
Speaker 1: like a slip in minke And she again really literally

823
00:47:10,239 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 1: did do stickers on her. That's unbelievable. Literally, it is crazy,

824
00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:21,120
Speaker 1: like you would have gotten like a snake bite piercing percing,

825
00:47:21,320 --> 00:47:24,920
Speaker 1: snake bite piercing like, but instead like she literally found

826
00:47:24,920 --> 00:47:27,759
Speaker 1: stickers that were shaped as horned devils, like you know

827
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:31,080
Speaker 1: that Gucci, which is my mom collab where it's like

828
00:47:31,280 --> 00:47:34,560
Speaker 1: not horned devils dancing like she got that on her face,

829
00:47:34,680 --> 00:47:37,600
Speaker 1: which is I think the rockabilly flame belts are like,

830
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:40,439
Speaker 1: oh the nineties eighties doing the fifties. But you're like, wait,

831
00:47:40,480 --> 00:47:42,920
Speaker 1: so devil stuff was also just around. You could get

832
00:47:42,960 --> 00:47:48,560
Speaker 1: devil stickers. Yeah, she had, she was. She was doing

833
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:51,799
Speaker 1: Jerry's Devil fans. It was, I mean she was. She

834
00:47:51,880 --> 00:47:54,640
Speaker 1: was sort of a renegade style and even like even

835
00:47:54,640 --> 00:47:58,000
Speaker 1: when she got arrested for prostitution her she has like

836
00:47:58,040 --> 00:48:01,560
Speaker 1: this amazing cardigan on and this bathing suit underneath and

837
00:48:01,760 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 1: gold slippers on and wearing like yeah, yeah, so I

838
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 1: do actually think she had style. She had style, and

839
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:18,080
Speaker 1: she she had like classic I mean e girl. Yes,

840
00:48:18,239 --> 00:48:21,640
Speaker 1: she did sleepy sexy girl, and it is I mean

841
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:25,640
Speaker 1: obviously the Launa del Ray, but also like nineties Cortney

842
00:48:25,760 --> 00:48:29,600
Speaker 1: Love totally slip totally and burning her hair on a

843
00:48:29,600 --> 00:48:32,799
Speaker 1: cigarette or whatever. You know. How did she live? She

844
00:48:32,880 --> 00:48:36,799
Speaker 1: live well? She lived well for sometime. I mean she

845
00:48:36,960 --> 00:48:38,959
Speaker 1: was like so at the end and beginning to throat

846
00:48:38,960 --> 00:48:41,359
Speaker 1: the book, She's like, yes, so rats are crawling all

847
00:48:41,360 --> 00:48:44,360
Speaker 1: over me right now. Yeah, it's crazy. And what happened

848
00:48:44,440 --> 00:48:48,680
Speaker 1: was that this guy from Double Day Press like met

849
00:48:48,760 --> 00:48:51,080
Speaker 1: her at a bar and was like, can I just

850
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:56,880
Speaker 1: record you talking? And in the line, I'll read the

851
00:48:56,880 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 1: line the blaze today right now, I live in a

852
00:48:59,680 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 1: rat roach parent sis. Their friends investa department. Was not

853
00:49:03,040 --> 00:49:04,920
Speaker 1: a bean to my name, and I drink too much

854
00:49:04,960 --> 00:49:09,880
Speaker 1: rose wine? Not a bean? Their friends? How fab is that? Friends?

855
00:49:10,000 --> 00:49:13,680
Speaker 1: The friends? They're absolute friends? No, and yeah, So how

856
00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:16,279
Speaker 1: did she live? She lived? She lived high, she lived low,

857
00:49:16,360 --> 00:49:18,520
Speaker 1: she lived sideways, think, and I think she kind of

858
00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:22,920
Speaker 1: was also very mattress on the floor. She was absolutely

859
00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:25,480
Speaker 1: as because that goes to slip and make you know,

860
00:49:25,560 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 1: it's girl mattress on floor with you know, chanel on

861
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:32,200
Speaker 1: the ground for sleeping. And she also is like mentioning

862
00:49:32,239 --> 00:49:34,000
Speaker 1: a lot in the book that she's writing poetry. So

863
00:49:34,040 --> 00:49:38,280
Speaker 1: she's very journal too. Oh, she's definitely like girl journal

864
00:49:38,280 --> 00:49:40,840
Speaker 1: by bedside table. I think she was living with m

865
00:49:41,239 --> 00:49:46,759
Speaker 1: franc Sho. I think that they were living in like

866
00:49:46,800 --> 00:49:49,520
Speaker 1: a classic like almost I'm just between the house. My

867
00:49:49,520 --> 00:49:52,200
Speaker 1: my father grew up in Westchester, Los Angeles. Is that

868
00:49:52,360 --> 00:49:55,719
Speaker 1: just super maan century like small like low house. Yeah,

869
00:49:55,760 --> 00:49:59,280
Speaker 1: definitely one story one story house, like long low couch,

870
00:50:00,200 --> 00:50:03,120
Speaker 1: all the dark wood like furniture and sort of like

871
00:50:03,160 --> 00:50:05,960
Speaker 1: those doors that are half doors. That a lot of

872
00:50:06,000 --> 00:50:10,240
Speaker 1: half doors and like circle maybe. Yeah, there's a saloona

873
00:50:10,320 --> 00:50:15,880
Speaker 1: aspect to it. There's an upright piano that doesn't get played. Yeah,

874
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 1: two weeks before she dies at her parents' house and

875
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:23,520
Speaker 1: in this mid century San Diego ranch rexo father's Cadillac. Wow,

876
00:50:23,640 --> 00:50:26,200
Speaker 1: and you know, I crash, you crash your bolo after

877
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:29,680
Speaker 1: she died and you're still with us, so half hard

878
00:50:29,719 --> 00:50:32,800
Speaker 1: into the bridge and I don't care. You know, there's

879
00:50:32,800 --> 00:50:36,279
Speaker 1: this sort of an epitomeal. There is sort of like

880
00:50:36,320 --> 00:50:39,320
Speaker 1: an e girl aspect of Barbara Payton that is major.

881
00:50:39,920 --> 00:50:43,399
Speaker 1: I think she has a type in every decade, true,

882
00:50:43,400 --> 00:50:47,040
Speaker 1: because like nineties, the Courtney Love, eighties, you know it's

883
00:50:47,040 --> 00:50:51,920
Speaker 1: a little Madonna or it's very like Sean Young. I

884
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:55,399
Speaker 1: think Madonna very like control No, no, not Madonna girl,

885
00:50:55,440 --> 00:50:59,920
Speaker 1: a girl who idolizes Madonna and like where's the slip

886
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:03,239
Speaker 1: in the cross, But it's like tragic. I'm thinking of

887
00:51:03,400 --> 00:51:05,600
Speaker 1: maybe well she would like I mean, let's get who

888
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:07,680
Speaker 1: are you in the book? Okay, I mean I was

889
00:51:07,719 --> 00:51:09,560
Speaker 1: reading this, and I was like, Okay, this is ruby,

890
00:51:10,120 --> 00:51:12,839
Speaker 1: I know, but not the lifestyle. It's like the way

891
00:51:12,840 --> 00:51:17,120
Speaker 1: it talks and talks about theories, but like you're actually

892
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:20,399
Speaker 1: I would say a little bit of a good girl girl.

893
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:25,360
Speaker 1: I'm a good girl. Yeah, yeah, I don't. I'm a

894
00:51:25,440 --> 00:51:27,959
Speaker 1: mom friend. But this is the thing like that has

895
00:51:28,000 --> 00:51:30,560
Speaker 1: plagued me my whole life, which you can get into

896
00:51:30,800 --> 00:51:32,640
Speaker 1: when you come to my one woman show at Joe's

897
00:51:32,680 --> 00:51:37,800
Speaker 1: Poob on his nineteenth is that, you know, I seem

898
00:51:37,960 --> 00:51:41,400
Speaker 1: like it's like, why do I relate so much to

899
00:51:42,320 --> 00:51:47,440
Speaker 1: this prostitute alcoholic? Like what It's like I've I've always

900
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:50,799
Speaker 1: only related to women like this, and yet I'm not

901
00:51:51,080 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 1: like this because I don't think you could relate that

902
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:57,279
Speaker 1: hard if you were like them. Really, it's but it's

903
00:51:57,320 --> 00:52:00,799
Speaker 1: my custom as a child, because it would be fun.

904
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:02,759
Speaker 1: You'd be too busy. You'd be too busy in the

905
00:52:02,800 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 1: goddamn gutter, darling, you know what I mean. But you

906
00:52:05,280 --> 00:52:11,239
Speaker 1: have you have time to be a little Morelda and

907
00:52:11,960 --> 00:52:15,240
Speaker 1: the old book. It's true, it's true. But my question

908
00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 1: is it's the high, the low, the struggle, the confidence,

909
00:52:19,120 --> 00:52:24,719
Speaker 1: the retrospection. You know, why is you know, that. My

910
00:52:24,840 --> 00:52:28,000
Speaker 1: question is I brought you this book because why why?

911
00:52:28,280 --> 00:52:30,920
Speaker 1: God damn well? I mean, I have my skin, I

912
00:52:31,280 --> 00:52:34,560
Speaker 1: pay my rent on time. You know, I don't. What

913
00:52:34,560 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 1: What is it about these women that you relate? Yeah,

914
00:52:38,719 --> 00:52:43,319
Speaker 1: Socause we're saying, is that you know really what you are?

915
00:52:43,560 --> 00:52:46,279
Speaker 1: You are the rees that you are together. I'm not

916
00:52:46,320 --> 00:52:49,880
Speaker 1: the reason is father. I know I'm not Rees and

917
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:55,080
Speaker 1: I'm not Barbara. But where am I? No? This is

918
00:52:55,080 --> 00:52:56,680
Speaker 1: something I talk about in my show as well. Is

919
00:52:56,760 --> 00:53:00,120
Speaker 1: I've tried so hard to become a drug addict to

920
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:04,000
Speaker 1: stay up late, Darling. I can't stay up late. My

921
00:53:04,000 --> 00:53:07,719
Speaker 1: body goes Nope. There's something there's a will larger than

922
00:53:07,760 --> 00:53:11,759
Speaker 1: myself that goes no, you and what is that? It's

923
00:53:11,760 --> 00:53:14,839
Speaker 1: the will to destroy I certainly, yes, you know which

924
00:53:14,920 --> 00:53:18,279
Speaker 1: you don't choose. That's what I'm saying. I consciously my

925
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:22,920
Speaker 1: brain wants to cook destroy. I wanted to detonate the

926
00:53:22,920 --> 00:53:26,720
Speaker 1: bomb because but there's something larger than me that goes Darling.

927
00:53:26,719 --> 00:53:29,040
Speaker 1: You need you are so tired, go to me more.

928
00:53:29,080 --> 00:53:32,160
Speaker 1: Betty Davis, Yes, I mean ultimately yes, in the book,

929
00:53:32,560 --> 00:53:35,040
Speaker 1: in the book, and you Steven, because I think it's

930
00:53:35,080 --> 00:53:37,880
Speaker 1: like Betty Davis had a boring her life, Like I

931
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:40,960
Speaker 1: think she was a little more just like there's so

932
00:53:41,040 --> 00:53:43,960
Speaker 1: much drama when she played these crazy she loves the drama.

933
00:53:44,080 --> 00:53:47,000
Speaker 1: And yet and yet I think she was going to bed.

934
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:50,040
Speaker 1: She was definitely to her scripts and she wasn't like

935
00:53:50,200 --> 00:53:52,719
Speaker 1: fucking sucking. That was the whole thing about Bettie Davis too,

936
00:53:52,880 --> 00:53:56,319
Speaker 1: whereas Joan Crawford was. But but you know, it's like

937
00:53:56,360 --> 00:53:59,320
Speaker 1: there is there is there what am I'm not ashamed?

938
00:53:59,400 --> 00:54:02,080
Speaker 1: Also is weirdly, what I'm talking about is like there

939
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:05,840
Speaker 1: is sometimes of power greater than yourself pushing you to

940
00:54:05,920 --> 00:54:08,719
Speaker 1: the docks of Mexico. Okay, I just wanted to say it.

941
00:54:08,960 --> 00:54:11,960
Speaker 1: I didn't notice a gay guy. Maybe, Okay, let's here

942
00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:13,759
Speaker 1: she goes. It's like a fan of mine once told

943
00:54:13,800 --> 00:54:15,840
Speaker 1: me he was working in Macy's department store for It

944
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:17,440
Speaker 1: to Noah's week, and two weeks after that he was

945
00:54:17,480 --> 00:54:19,319
Speaker 1: getting one hundred and twenty five dollars as a week

946
00:54:19,320 --> 00:54:21,520
Speaker 1: as a publicist at Wonder Studio. Well, one day he

947
00:54:21,560 --> 00:54:24,360
Speaker 1: was putting cold compasses on Betty Davis's head. I was

948
00:54:24,400 --> 00:54:32,479
Speaker 1: just like, who's putting cold compence? That is like gay? Gay?

949
00:54:32,840 --> 00:54:35,080
Speaker 1: That's a that's a gig guy job. That's a gig

950
00:54:35,080 --> 00:54:37,480
Speaker 1: guy job. I don't think I'm the butch who like

951
00:54:37,760 --> 00:54:43,120
Speaker 1: locked definitely, no, um, I would say a little bit,

952
00:54:43,400 --> 00:54:46,120
Speaker 1: but she was like losing her keys, you want to.

953
00:54:48,280 --> 00:54:51,480
Speaker 1: I think there's a I mean, even though she's not

954
00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:55,200
Speaker 1: a book, there is there is, there is um a character.

955
00:54:55,640 --> 00:54:59,399
Speaker 1: It's like a sort of a closeted um starlet who yes,

956
00:54:59,600 --> 00:55:03,799
Speaker 1: who undresses in front of her and then they have

957
00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:07,600
Speaker 1: a passionate love affair. That innocence, I feel like absolutely

958
00:55:07,800 --> 00:55:11,560
Speaker 1: just sort of like being innocent. She was, she was,

959
00:55:11,920 --> 00:55:16,840
Speaker 1: she was being like I here, I am Barbara. That vulnerability, Okay,

960
00:55:16,880 --> 00:55:21,080
Speaker 1: you're right. The vulnerability, yeah, vulnerable as the day you want.

961
00:55:21,680 --> 00:55:24,000
Speaker 1: I want to be a badass, but you know, yeah,

962
00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:25,640
Speaker 1: we're just we are who we are. And I think

963
00:55:25,680 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 1: in that moment that clauset Elisabeth Lesbian, you know, actress,

964
00:55:29,160 --> 00:55:32,400
Speaker 1: are saying Barbara, Hello, I can't stay up, but I

965
00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:37,480
Speaker 1: can get naked. That exactly exactly. I give this book

966
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:43,520
Speaker 1: four out of five major studios. Yeah, I give this

967
00:55:43,560 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 1: book m four point one. Yeah, yeah, clams in Mexico

968
00:55:49,640 --> 00:55:52,640
Speaker 1: and I give this book. Honestly, I'm going to say

969
00:55:52,640 --> 00:55:56,239
Speaker 1: a four point five. It's it's really lovely. It's it's

970
00:55:56,239 --> 00:56:00,560
Speaker 1: a little random, it's a little psychot of side, a

971
00:56:00,600 --> 00:56:03,600
Speaker 1: little scattered if you're kind of going back and hold on,

972
00:56:03,640 --> 00:56:07,280
Speaker 1: which yeah, yeah, but then she scattered, so she's scattered.

973
00:56:07,320 --> 00:56:09,359
Speaker 1: But it's a nice read, it's a nice length. It's

974
00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:12,799
Speaker 1: a gorgeous book. I give it four out of five. Uh.

975
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:19,880
Speaker 1: Casting couches love it. Yes, um, well, Darling Ruby, thank

976
00:56:19,920 --> 00:56:22,560
Speaker 1: you so much. This has been such such a joy.

977
00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:27,320
Speaker 1: Thank you for being vulnerable, and thank you for being

978
00:56:27,360 --> 00:56:31,279
Speaker 1: ashamed and ashamed and I'm not ashamed, and you're not

979
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:33,800
Speaker 1: ashamed to tell us when your Joe's Pub show is again.

980
00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:39,319
Speaker 1: It is on August nineteen at nine pm. Wow. And

981
00:56:39,400 --> 00:56:44,520
Speaker 1: that's in New York City. That's in New York City, downtown. Downtown, man, Darling,

982
00:56:44,600 --> 00:56:45,880
Speaker 1: if you're not in New York, I want you to

983
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:48,200
Speaker 1: go down to your local Greyhound depot. I don't want

984
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:50,200
Speaker 1: you to get a ticket and probably doesn't cost more

985
00:56:50,239 --> 00:56:55,239
Speaker 1: than seventy five cents. Get on a bus. I have

986
00:56:55,280 --> 00:57:00,800
Speaker 1: an adventure, darlings for one God damn life in your life. Okay, well,

987
00:57:00,840 --> 00:57:10,080
Speaker 1: everyone dolls, best, best, thank you, Best celebrity book. Club

988
00:57:10,160 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 1: is presented by Prolog Projects. This show is produced by

989
00:57:15,280 --> 00:57:20,800
Speaker 1: Benjamin Frish, with editorial support from Leon me nay Fa

990
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:31,160
Speaker 1: and Andrew Parsons, plus Arleon a Real Blow and Madeline Kaplan.

991
00:57:31,880 --> 00:57:36,880
Speaker 1: Our production manager is Persia Verlin. Our in turn Noah John.

992
00:57:38,480 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 1: Original theme song by Stephen Phillips Horst artwork by Teddy

993
00:57:46,480 --> 00:57:50,400
Speaker 1: Blanks at Chips and Why Follow us on Twitter and

994
00:57:50,440 --> 00:57:56,000
Speaker 1: Instagram at CBC the Pod, Subscribe on your favorite podcast app,

995
00:57:56,280 --> 00:57:58,840
Speaker 1: leave a thurview, and don't forget to tell your friends

996
00:57:58,840 --> 00:58:01,040
Speaker 1: about us, and don't forgot to Go to the patreon

997
00:58:01,400 --> 00:58:07,040
Speaker 1: dot com or access for the vip Lounge, our exclusive

998
00:58:07,720 --> 00:58:13,840
Speaker 1: bonus podcast, wow Icon