WEBVTT - Bot Followers Be Gone! 0:00:12.440 --> 0:00:15.320 Met Gala again, just because now I'm seeing more clips 0:00:15.480 --> 0:00:19.200 Laala Anthony, Like good for her getting a gig doing 0:00:19.239 --> 0:00:23.200 the carpet corresponding, like I assume she went into the event, 0:00:23.280 --> 0:00:25.120 but that's a pretty big gig. And I didn't even 0:00:25.120 --> 0:00:26.840 know Lala had it like that. I thought she was 0:00:26.880 --> 0:00:29.360 an actress. I know she used to be married to 0:00:29.520 --> 0:00:33.159 Carmelo Anthony, the basketball player. I've met her. She's been 0:00:33.240 --> 0:00:36.199 very nice. I know she's friends with the Kardashians. I 0:00:36.240 --> 0:00:38.880 don't know. I just like that, like she's a woman 0:00:38.960 --> 0:00:41.360 of a certain age and she's like got a new gig. 0:00:41.479 --> 0:00:43.280 Unless she did this every year and I never saw it, 0:00:43.280 --> 0:00:46.200 but like she was talking to the most major celebrities 0:00:46.240 --> 0:00:49.640 like go for yours, and of course she knows the Kardashians, 0:00:49.680 --> 0:00:52.120 so she's talking to them like she was talking to 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:55.720 Blake Lively. She was talking to everybody. That's a great gig, 0:00:56.960 --> 0:01:02.680 Blake Lively. People are destroyed her, like what a fall 0:01:02.720 --> 0:01:05.400 from grace. Like this woman could do no wrong and 0:01:05.440 --> 0:01:07.880 her style was what everybody talked about. And the mech 0:01:07.880 --> 0:01:11.039 Gala was her gala, and she was the princess and 0:01:11.040 --> 0:01:13.200 the bell of the ball and like I didn't mention 0:01:13.280 --> 0:01:14.920 the other day that she did choose something to wear 0:01:14.959 --> 0:01:17.360 that like had five handlers, like putting it down the stairs, 0:01:17.360 --> 0:01:19.520 and I knew that wouldn't land. I did like her 0:01:19.600 --> 0:01:22.160 Judith Lieber clutched with her kid's art on it, but 0:01:22.200 --> 0:01:23.839 of course she can do no wrong. And she said 0:01:23.840 --> 0:01:27.399 she was shy, and people went fucking bananas like that 0:01:27.560 --> 0:01:29.800 was the thing that made them crazy, like, yes, I'm shy. 0:01:30.280 --> 0:01:31.480 I don't know if she's shy. I don't know if 0:01:31.520 --> 0:01:33.760 she's not shy. I know that she shouldn't have said it, 0:01:34.240 --> 0:01:37.039 mind you. I had a moment where there was like 0:01:37.080 --> 0:01:39.959 a kid. Okay, So somentdays you'll be outside a place 0:01:40.240 --> 0:01:42.720 and all these people will come and want your picture 0:01:42.760 --> 0:01:45.600 and your autograph, and then publicists say, don't because they 0:01:45.680 --> 0:01:47.920 sell them, which I can't imagine where your autograph in 0:01:47.960 --> 0:01:50.280 twenty twenty six could be worth. But they're like, don't 0:01:50.280 --> 0:01:51.960 because they sell them. And a lot of times people 0:01:51.960 --> 0:01:53.920 don't even know who you are, they just see you 0:01:53.960 --> 0:01:56.880 coming out of somewhere, and the publicists all say, like 0:01:57.480 --> 0:01:59.280 they don't even know who you are, or they might 0:01:59.320 --> 0:02:00.600 not know who you are. They just want to sell them. 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:02.360 They're just like standing there. There's like a thing to it. 0:02:02.760 --> 0:02:04.600 So I was at an event this past weekend and 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:06.760 someone came up to me and they were like, who 0:02:07.440 --> 0:02:10.480 are you talking to? Who am I with right now? 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:12.880 And I literally didn't know what the person was talking about. 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:15.800 I thought they meant like what designer? Or who am 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:18.480 I with? I didn't understand, and I thought they meant 0:02:18.520 --> 0:02:20.800 like themselves, like who am I with? And I was thinking, 0:02:20.840 --> 0:02:22.440 I have no idea who you are, who you're with, 0:02:22.520 --> 0:02:24.320 And I said like, if you don't know, you better 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:26.640 act somebody, because I thought, like how would I know 0:02:26.680 --> 0:02:28.880 who you're with? It just seemed like someone who had 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:31.000 no idea, And then I realized did they mean me? Later? 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:33.000 Like who am I with right now? Meaning who am 0:02:33.040 --> 0:02:35.200 I talking to? It was just a strange way to 0:02:35.240 --> 0:02:37.919 say it, and it made me realize either way, I 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:39.640 don't think the kid knew who I was, and it 0:02:39.680 --> 0:02:41.400 was like a younger kid. And I said, if you 0:02:41.400 --> 0:02:42.840 don't know who you better act somebody. And I saw 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:45.680 somebody posted it and it did like look like I 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:48.160 was being rudbea. I literally didn't understand who the person was, 0:02:48.160 --> 0:02:51.280 and I also thought, I don't know, it's strange for 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:53.799 someone to come up to you. I've had people say 0:02:53.800 --> 0:02:56.960 to me before, I don't know who you are, but 0:02:57.560 --> 0:03:01.200 my friend says you're famous. I don't like that. I'm 0:03:01.200 --> 0:03:02.839 not interested in that. Like I'm not inter just in 0:03:03.080 --> 0:03:05.240 signing something for someone to taking a picture of someone 0:03:05.240 --> 0:03:07.079 because like someone else said, I was some currency. I 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:10.480 don't mean anything to them. So this kid like confused me, 0:03:10.919 --> 0:03:12.560 and I said something that I later was like, that 0:03:12.600 --> 0:03:14.440 was kind of a little harsh, but like in the moment, 0:03:15.040 --> 0:03:17.920 it felt annoying. If I'm being honest, that's the truth. 0:03:18.200 --> 0:03:19.919 But it also made me think about people who say 0:03:19.960 --> 0:03:22.320 one thing and like it can ruin their whole lives, 0:03:22.400 --> 0:03:25.160 and how not tolerant, how everyone just wants to like 0:03:25.200 --> 0:03:27.800 crush somebody. So like Blake Lively said, she's shy. I 0:03:27.800 --> 0:03:30.120 don't know, maybe she is shy, but she goes to 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:32.160 these things. I don't know. It's hard to be shy 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:33.680 and go on the mech galic carp but I could 0:03:33.720 --> 0:03:36.200 tell you that like Nick Jonas, who was like having 0:03:36.240 --> 0:03:38.480 a fucking panic attack, I'm gonna like choose to believe 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:41.080 that he has difficulty with crowds and moments like that. 0:03:41.160 --> 0:03:43.480 But I don't know, Blake Lively can do no right. 0:03:44.160 --> 0:03:46.160 And people think she just like announced that that thing 0:03:46.240 --> 0:03:48.640 was settled and so she like went out to the 0:03:48.640 --> 0:03:50.120 car butt like a new woman out. We have no 0:03:50.200 --> 0:03:52.200 idea when she knew that, But I will say this, 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:57.680 that was a fall from grace. And whatever the lawsuit was, 0:03:57.800 --> 0:03:59.640 it wasn't like a criminal lawsuit. It wasn't like he 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:02.000 would go to jail what she wanted. I don't think 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:04.280 it was criminals. So it was a fuck around to 0:04:04.280 --> 0:04:06.840 find out lawsuit. There's no way that she doesn't regret 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:09.200 filing it because then they've just settled. I don't know. 0:04:09.240 --> 0:04:11.040 I'm not looking at going to cancel myself today on 0:04:11.080 --> 0:04:14.320 someone else's bullshit, but like, there's no way that she 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:18.680 doesn't regret filowing that lawsuit. Okay, when you are jammed 0:04:18.760 --> 0:04:20.919 up in a deal and you can't get what you need, 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:24.960 you call the power person directly. Lawyers and agents and 0:04:25.040 --> 0:04:29.280 managers and in between people will fuck something up. If 0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:31.920 you know where the rub is, you figure out how 0:04:31.920 --> 0:04:36.200 to talk to the hbiic calmly and nicely compliment them, 0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:38.560 say you want to do it. If two people want 0:04:38.600 --> 0:04:39.839 to do a deal, they can do it. And I 0:04:39.920 --> 0:04:42.160 have found that you got to go live and direct. 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:45.400 I have had multimillion dollar deals that were going to 0:04:45.440 --> 0:04:48.720 blow up, tens of millions of dollar deals that were 0:04:48.720 --> 0:04:50.839 going to blow up until I just picked up the 0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:55.080 phone and rationally discussed what I liked, what I didn't like, 0:04:55.160 --> 0:04:56.560 what I would go for, what I wouldn't go for. 0:04:56.680 --> 0:04:59.839 I have a good reputation in negotiating. I don't play games. 0:05:00.000 --> 0:05:01.520 I don't pretend it's going to be five dollars and 0:05:01.520 --> 0:05:04.599 it's really ten. I am a very honest negotiator. I 0:05:04.640 --> 0:05:08.120 am straight up one hundred and I will go directly 0:05:08.160 --> 0:05:12.520 to the person. And it is a wonder the difference 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:15.360 in the way you can negotiate for yourself talking to someone. 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:18.000 And yes, we need lawyers, we need all these other 0:05:18.160 --> 0:05:20.920 people to paper things, to make sure you're protected, etc. 0:05:21.240 --> 0:05:23.000 But if you are jammed up and you want to 0:05:23.000 --> 0:05:24.400 do something and you're almost not going to do it 0:05:24.400 --> 0:05:26.520 because of the negotiating process, you better get on the 0:05:26.600 --> 0:05:30.799 damn phone. You better get on that damn phone. Interesting 0:05:30.800 --> 0:05:34.520 that on Instagram people are losing bought followers and bought followers, 0:05:34.800 --> 0:05:39.400 so many people created their big following on purchased followers, 0:05:39.440 --> 0:05:42.880 And the thing about it is it's great that they're 0:05:42.880 --> 0:05:47.480 being cleansed and that it becomes more authentic, like your 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:51.560 engagement is more authentic. Meaning I never bought followers, and 0:05:51.600 --> 0:05:54.880 I know that it was frustrating knowing people who had 0:05:54.920 --> 0:05:59.480 a really disproportionate amount of engagement to their follower account 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:01.640 because it means that a lot of those are just 0:06:01.880 --> 0:06:04.960 it's just a number. It's not actually engagement. They're not 0:06:05.040 --> 0:06:09.120 followers that convert, they're not actually watching, listening, buying, engaging, 0:06:09.200 --> 0:06:11.760 and that's what people really want now in twenty twenty six, 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:15.920 people want engaged followings. Meaning someone could have fewer followers, 0:06:16.360 --> 0:06:18.919 but they could have more views on certain posts, or 0:06:19.200 --> 0:06:22.159 it's a quality versus quantity model. The thing of it is, 0:06:22.200 --> 0:06:24.640 though that is not totally fair, is that some people 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:29.680 got deals and a greater fame and actually more followers 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:32.920 because of the original fake followers. That makes any sense, 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:35.240 Like if you are someone who has like the street 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:40.160 cred of having millions of followers despite them being purchased, 0:06:40.960 --> 0:06:43.640 you know, success breed success, So you have so many followers, 0:06:43.680 --> 0:06:45.240 you're going to get more followers because you might get 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:47.720 media because you had all these followers. So it's great 0:06:47.720 --> 0:06:50.599 that it's being corrected, but it sucks that it happened 0:06:50.640 --> 0:06:53.520 in the first place. But there are people that have 0:06:53.680 --> 0:06:56.599 lost millions and millions of followers. It also happens to 0:06:56.640 --> 0:07:01.279 be likely a small percentage of their overall follower base. 0:07:01.360 --> 0:07:05.039 But like I've had bad things happen, or have not 0:07:05.200 --> 0:07:08.080 known about things, or have said things and lost a 0:07:08.160 --> 0:07:11.480 lot of followers, Like, it does sort of suck. To 0:07:11.520 --> 0:07:14.840 be honest, it does suck. But there should be nobody 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:19.040 with any bot followers bought followers like followers should be true. 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:21.920 And by the way, it's better for the It's better 0:07:21.960 --> 0:07:25.600 for the creator or the influencer or the person. So 0:07:25.760 --> 0:07:28.119 I went roller skating this weekend. I kind of talked 0:07:28.120 --> 0:07:31.600 about my launch, and I forgot to mention roller skating 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:35.280 that that's what I was doing. I have been seeing 0:07:35.320 --> 0:07:41.000 someone who seemingly like myself, is very youthful, like fun 0:07:41.120 --> 0:07:45.360 and alive and playful. And I've talked before about the 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:49.200 pendulum theory. It's not really a theory, it's a fact. 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:54.280 People get into relationships and whatever is wrong with those relationships, 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:58.840 often the next relationship is a reaction to that. So 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:01.640 you could have a man with a nagging wife who 0:08:01.720 --> 0:08:04.040 never listens, and then he gets separated, and then he's 0:08:04.080 --> 0:08:06.920 with the doting young woman who like hangs on his 0:08:07.000 --> 0:08:09.480 every word. But he could get sick of that because 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:12.240 that's not the baseline. That's not the person who he 0:08:12.320 --> 0:08:16.400 would intrinsically be attracted to. He's just reacting to what 0:08:16.520 --> 0:08:19.480 his situation has been. So I've been in situations where 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:23.320 I was in a very abusive dynamic and I was 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:26.800 afraid and I was a wreck, and I was like 0:08:27.120 --> 0:08:30.800 beat down and just like not at my best, and 0:08:30.840 --> 0:08:34.320 I was attracted to safe situations, like someone just loves 0:08:34.320 --> 0:08:36.160 you so much it is he wants to take care 0:08:36.160 --> 0:08:39.360 of you. But I might not have been with a 0:08:39.400 --> 0:08:43.240 person who is intrinsically right for me. The pendulum has 0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:46.320 swung too far. You have over corrected. And I've heard 0:08:46.320 --> 0:08:48.280 this from other people that I've discussed this with. Maybe 0:08:48.360 --> 0:08:51.280 someone's with someone super controlling and jealous. Next they're going 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:53.280 to be with a total free spirit, you know, type 0:08:53.280 --> 0:08:55.240 of person who wants to bring another person into the bedroom. 0:08:55.280 --> 0:08:58.000 I don't know, and I the reason I took a 0:08:58.080 --> 0:09:01.079 year off from dating is because I wanted to get 0:09:01.120 --> 0:09:03.320 to the baseline of what I really wanted versus just 0:09:03.360 --> 0:09:05.320 it being a reaction of the last thing I had. 0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:09.319 And many of these relationships train you for the real relationship. 0:09:23.240 --> 0:09:27.640 So anyway, I've been dating and in a way that's 0:09:27.679 --> 0:09:31.840 more true to myself, like from the baseline, meaning there's 0:09:31.880 --> 0:09:34.640 a youthfulness and a live A lot of people are 0:09:34.720 --> 0:09:37.360 noticing that I seem happier than I have. Some of 0:09:37.360 --> 0:09:40.240 that's Florida, some of that is because of who I'm 0:09:40.280 --> 0:09:45.960 spending time with. And I believe that I'm happier because like, 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:48.960 I just feel like I'm more It's not that I've 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:53.920 forced things, It's that I just think that I don't 0:09:53.920 --> 0:09:56.839 give myself enough credit for how sort of a live 0:09:57.120 --> 0:10:01.760 and youthful and adventurous I am. The younger me was 0:10:01.800 --> 0:10:05.160 always like taking dares and jumping off of like bridges 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:09.480 into water and just like doing you know, fun, wild, 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:13.040 crazy things. And I've never really lost that and I 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:15.600 don't really get that much of an opportunity to explore that. 0:10:15.679 --> 0:10:19.960 And so I've been dating and in this era, which 0:10:20.040 --> 0:10:22.080 was my adventure era, or so I said it was, 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:25.440 now it's really feeling like my adventure era because I'm 0:10:25.440 --> 0:10:28.160 seeing someone who will come up with like surprise me 0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:30.520 with horseback riding on the beach for the day or 0:10:31.440 --> 0:10:34.080 a concert, you know, because I love the Begi's and 0:10:34.080 --> 0:10:35.960 I was listening to the Begi's like an outdoor like 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:39.280 symphony and cover band of the Begi's, like the most 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:42.760 fun night, like more fun than most nights I've had 0:10:42.880 --> 0:10:45.560 in the last several years. I mean, I had the 0:10:45.559 --> 0:10:49.480 best time ever f one Carbone weekend and Snoop performed, 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:52.240 which I missed that night because I was just tired 0:10:52.440 --> 0:10:58.200 and y cleff and fat shoe and ludicrous, like that's 0:10:58.200 --> 0:11:01.120 all amazing, but for me, like being at a cover 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:04.880 band with the Beg's and a symphony outside like and 0:11:05.160 --> 0:11:07.240 this person I was with was just like, wait a second, 0:11:07.280 --> 0:11:08.760 I'm going to get your roller skates, like you need 0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:11.160 to be skating through this concert. Like I've never had 0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:14.280 someone just like be like that with me and also 0:11:14.760 --> 0:11:18.120 like to show me a pop up roller rink that 0:11:18.200 --> 0:11:19.800 has like a disco ball that we went to in 0:11:19.800 --> 0:11:21.840 the middle of the day. Just like being alive, being 0:11:21.920 --> 0:11:25.840 fun like that is something that I have been missing 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:27.480 in my life. It didn't even realize it, Like you 0:11:27.600 --> 0:11:30.320 kind of don't realize it until a part of you 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:33.679 is awakened. And it also makes me think about you know, 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:36.200 I've been very very I've done very well in my life. 0:11:36.360 --> 0:11:39.679 I have everything I want. I don't need somebody for 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:44.560 money or stuff. Now Listen, I don't know that I 0:11:44.559 --> 0:11:48.960 would be aligned with someone who didn't have a career 0:11:49.080 --> 0:11:52.200 and didn't make money, you know, and wasn't smart. I mean, 0:11:52.240 --> 0:11:54.800 that's something that I need. But I've thought to myself, 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:56.520 I really need to be an entrepreneur. I really need 0:11:56.520 --> 0:11:58.000 to be with someone who has more money than I do. 0:11:58.120 --> 0:11:59.760 Like I have all these different things that I've thought 0:11:59.800 --> 0:12:02.199 in my life, you know, And I've been in different 0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:05.440 types of relationships. I've been mostly with younger men. I've realized, 0:12:05.480 --> 0:12:09.000 like a couple of years younger not crazy. Whenever I've 0:12:09.040 --> 0:12:12.679 gone out with older men, it hasn't really gelled. And 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:16.720 it's sort of I don't know if it's hypocritical, but 0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:19.480 if I've been with a man like eight years older, 0:12:19.559 --> 0:12:22.280 I've really felt like they're just like old old, which 0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:24.520 obviously I'll be there in eight years. But I look 0:12:24.559 --> 0:12:26.920 at some people who are of a certain age and 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:29.520 they just seem youthful, and other people just don't. It's 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:33.200 luck of the draw, it's their essence, it's a number 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:35.199 of things. But people around me do say that I 0:12:35.240 --> 0:12:37.559 have a young spirit and a young essence, and I 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:40.280 think that I'm best aligned and matched with someone who 0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:42.440 has a young essence and a young spirit. I'm not 0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:45.240 really looking for a figure to take care of me. 0:12:45.320 --> 0:12:48.360 I've had that it's a little boring for me, and 0:12:48.400 --> 0:12:50.880 I've sort of just accepted that security meant boring. But 0:12:50.920 --> 0:12:54.320 I don't really need I definitely don't need financial security, 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:57.240 although I do date people who are successful because I'm 0:12:57.320 --> 0:13:01.200 attracted to that and smart. But I also don't need 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:04.480 only to be with someone who's like solid. I didn't 0:13:04.520 --> 0:13:06.280 know I thought you had to like give up most 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:07.720 of what you wanted. I thought, like to be with 0:13:07.720 --> 0:13:10.080 someone solid, you might be a little bored. Like I 0:13:10.120 --> 0:13:12.320 really don't want to be bored. I really want to 0:13:12.360 --> 0:13:14.000 live and have fun. My daughter's going to be in 0:13:14.040 --> 0:13:18.440 college in two years, and like it's my time and listen. 0:13:19.200 --> 0:13:20.480 I guess it would have been better if I was 0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:22.920 forty five able to travel the world, But you know what, 0:13:23.760 --> 0:13:25.679 not really like being your fifties is great I mean, 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:28.000 I'm in Sports Illustrated, I walk in the Loreal Paris 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:31.880 fashion show. I'm more successful than I've ever been. I'm 0:13:31.920 --> 0:13:34.520 at the peak of my career when I'm doing exactly 0:13:34.559 --> 0:13:38.160 what I want. So anyway, I went roller skating this 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:40.240 weekend and to a Beg's concert, and that was the 0:13:40.240 --> 0:13:41.600 part that I didn't tell you, and it was like 0:13:41.679 --> 0:13:45.800 so fun. It awakened my childhood. I spent my entire childhood, 0:13:45.840 --> 0:13:51.520 I'm not exaggerating, like from like sixth grade, maybe earlier, 0:13:51.559 --> 0:13:54.400 maybe it was at third grade, had to be. I 0:13:54.440 --> 0:13:57.120 spent every day at the roller rink, every every weekend. 0:13:57.200 --> 0:13:59.959 I spent every Saturday and Sunday at the roller rank 0:14:01.160 --> 0:14:04.720 all day long, nine in the morning till nine thirty 0:14:04.760 --> 0:14:06.960 at night. It was nine till eleven thirty, twelve to 0:14:06.960 --> 0:14:09.360 two thirty three to five thirty five to seven thirty. 0:14:10.400 --> 0:14:11.679 And I don't know if I was allowed to go 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:13.679 nine to the one at night. I don't remember if 0:14:13.720 --> 0:14:15.640 it went later. I think it did. But I would 0:14:15.679 --> 0:14:19.040 have to like skate and win in these races to 0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:22.600 get to go to all the sessions because the sessions 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:24.080 you had to pay again, or you'd like sneak in 0:14:24.120 --> 0:14:26.400 and try to stay hope they wouldn't notice because they'd 0:14:26.400 --> 0:14:30.040 clear the rink all that. So anyway, the point is 0:14:30.400 --> 0:14:34.240 I'm loving awakening my youthful spirit. That's how I'm spending 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:38.520 my time. Okay, Hayden Panetier, who I haven't heard about 0:14:38.520 --> 0:14:40.240 for a while, and peripherally I had heard that she 0:14:40.320 --> 0:14:42.680 lost custody of her kids, she had substance abuse issues. 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:46.000 I think she was on the show Nashville with Connie Britton, 0:14:46.040 --> 0:14:48.720 and like it was peripheral, and she's a child actress. 0:14:48.720 --> 0:14:51.480 I remember that, but like I didn't know much. You 0:14:51.480 --> 0:14:53.720 know when you hear these stories that are just headlines 0:14:53.760 --> 0:14:56.160 and you wonder what the other side of the story is. 0:14:56.200 --> 0:14:58.480 I remember the woman from gossip Girl, the blonde woman 0:14:58.480 --> 0:15:00.400 from gossip Girl losing custody of her kids, and I'm like, 0:15:00.440 --> 0:15:02.240 how in the hell does that happen? It's got to 0:15:02.280 --> 0:15:04.760 be more to the story. Anything can happen in a courtroom, 0:15:04.800 --> 0:15:07.680 anything can go sideways. Brittany lost custody of her kids. Like, 0:15:08.000 --> 0:15:09.800 stuff does happen. Doesn't mean that people have to be 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:13.520 bad people. Well, Hayden Panetiers on Jay Shetty and she's 0:15:13.560 --> 0:15:18.160 just talking about some abusive relationship or several abusive relationships 0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:21.720 that she's been attracted to, presumably because of her generational 0:15:21.760 --> 0:15:24.000 trauma and the way she was raised. And again this 0:15:24.120 --> 0:15:26.040 is all just on social media, but I'm seeing that, 0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:30.480 like it's allegedly at eighteen, her someone in her life. 0:15:30.520 --> 0:15:33.600 She's very cagy, which I get, like, I've told stories 0:15:33.600 --> 0:15:37.600 about my terrible divorce and about being abused in situations, 0:15:37.600 --> 0:15:38.840 and I've told them in a way where you're not 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:41.280 really mentioning the person's name, and you're trying to pick 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:44.080 your spots and you're trying to like dance around landmines, 0:15:44.080 --> 0:15:47.800 which she's doing. And she's saying that a trusted caregiver 0:15:48.280 --> 0:15:50.080 told her to have sex with a man at eighteen, 0:15:50.520 --> 0:15:53.320 and basically she's been in this series of abusive relationships. 0:15:53.320 --> 0:15:56.320 It sounds like one which is worse than others. And 0:15:56.360 --> 0:15:59.160 she's reading a letter that she wrote the night before, 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:02.240 which is articular her experience, and it's really chilling, Like 0:16:02.480 --> 0:16:04.440 the way she wrote it and the dry way in 0:16:04.480 --> 0:16:08.560 which she's discussing it reminds me of Charlie's Throne discussing 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:11.800 the murder in her house, Like you're just like, wait, 0:16:11.960 --> 0:16:16.200 I'm really believing this because it's so subtle and so 0:16:16.640 --> 0:16:20.920 just matter of fact and so articulate and not performative 0:16:20.960 --> 0:16:24.560 that I just it's chilling listening to it. Hayden Panitiera 0:16:24.640 --> 0:16:27.000 is talking about and about her getting out of the 0:16:27.040 --> 0:16:30.080 abuse and about her feeling like people have forgiven her, 0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:32.320 so she had to forgive them. And I lived in 0:16:32.320 --> 0:16:36.200 an abusive household. I understand the cycle. There's also there 0:16:36.200 --> 0:16:38.640 are also different things for different people. Maybe you don't 0:16:38.640 --> 0:16:41.160 have anywhere else to go, you'll be homeless. It's financial, 0:16:41.640 --> 0:16:44.200 it's emotional. It's what you were used to as a kid. 0:16:44.240 --> 0:16:47.200 It's what you saw your parents do. It's breaking the chain. 0:16:47.400 --> 0:16:50.440 It's all these things. And just because you're a powerful, 0:16:50.480 --> 0:16:52.280 strong woman, which she was saying that she is, which 0:16:52.320 --> 0:16:54.720 I am, it's hard to believe you could be in 0:16:54.720 --> 0:16:57.640 an abusive situation, but someone can do a lot of damage. 0:16:57.680 --> 0:16:59.800 And when one person is more successful than the other, 0:17:00.040 --> 0:17:02.840 it's the female. The gender roles change and a man 0:17:03.440 --> 0:17:06.800 wants to exert a power struggle. Very often when the 0:17:06.840 --> 0:17:10.520 woman is the moneyed spouse, the breadwinner, the power person, 0:17:11.000 --> 0:17:14.919 the man has to exert power in other ways. It 0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:17.560 can be physical. It could be verbal. It could be 0:17:17.600 --> 0:17:21.240 digging in on things that don't matter. It could be resentment, 0:17:21.320 --> 0:17:25.360 it could be a number of things. But it's actually very, 0:17:25.480 --> 0:17:31.359 very common, and everybody thinks that in that situation. Many times, 0:17:31.400 --> 0:17:34.160 the guy's super charming and tries to carry everyone's favor, 0:17:34.160 --> 0:17:36.119 and people think the woman's like the power bitch. And 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:38.359 in this case, she lost custody of her kids, and 0:17:38.680 --> 0:17:40.360 I just feel badly for her, and I'm glad you're 0:17:40.359 --> 0:17:42.879 speaking up, and I just that letter. Just listened to 0:17:42.960 --> 0:17:45.520 her talk about the letter that she not letter she wrote, 0:17:45.560 --> 0:17:47.320 I guess in a journal the night before. She wrote 0:17:47.359 --> 0:17:50.400 herself it wasn't a letter. It was like a passage. 0:17:50.440 --> 0:17:52.160 She wrote because she wanted to be able to articulate 0:17:52.160 --> 0:18:01.240 this on the show. And I really appreciated it as 0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:15.639 walk back to back to ans, walk back to the 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:16.320 after