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Speaker 1: I inherited a five hundred thousand dollars house from my

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Speaker 1: dead grandpa, and now a stranger who claims he's my

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Speaker 1: bastard uncle demands his cut.

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Speaker 2: Interesting, I ain't seen you at the family barbecue?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, where were you all those years?

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Speaker 2: Uncle? What about? What about Lake Tahoe family reunion? I

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Speaker 2: don't I don't recall seeing your face there.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and also your face looks a lot different than

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Speaker 1: my face, so I'm not even sure where related.

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Speaker 2: What's going on?

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Speaker 1: Let's go get out of here, Get out of your bastard,

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Speaker 1: A dirty old bastard, all right, I twenty five male,

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Speaker 1: am having a clash of morals and obligations and would

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Speaker 1: like an outside perspective. And where does one go for

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Speaker 1: outside perspective?

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Speaker 2: John Ooh, only the two people with the best perspectives

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Speaker 2: of anyone that's ever lived.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, we're the arbitters of justice. You want your story red, received, delivered,

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Speaker 1: and judged, they go over to the judges.

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Speaker 2: But if you have but if you want too terrible

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Speaker 2: yet hilarious takes that make no sense.

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Speaker 1: That's us. Let us do the Amber Herd trial. There

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Speaker 1: we go, we'll deal justice. Justice for Johnny?

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Speaker 2: What color was the doukie on the bed?

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Speaker 1: The real question, Yeah, the real questions that people want

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Speaker 1: to know was that green? Was it brown? Was it

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Speaker 1: in smiling? Was it a frown?

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Speaker 2: We'll find out.

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Speaker 1: We'll find out next episode of okop uh what o

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Speaker 1: kop course Special Victims.

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Speaker 2: We would do great on a court show.

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, you know how like Rick and Morty

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Speaker 1: did the like they read like a full court transcript.

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Speaker 1: You remember, like, do you ever see that?

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Speaker 2: I see, I watched a lot of episodes, but I

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Speaker 2: never forget I never remember.

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Speaker 1: Where they did it. Like a while ago, they literally

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Speaker 1: took word for word a court case in Missouri and

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Speaker 1: then just animated it with like Rick and Morty characters,

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Speaker 1: and it was that's impressed hilarious.

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Speaker 2: Was that an actual episode in this in like.

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Speaker 1: The relation on YouTube? Yeah? And it was so so

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Speaker 1: so funny and like ridiculous. That's you should read some

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Speaker 1: like crazy courtroom drama. I mean Judge Judy, dude, I

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Speaker 1: mean that's Judge Judy. That's her whole thing. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: When I was thirteen, my parents died sad and I

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Speaker 1: was raised by my paternal grandparents. It was the easiest

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Speaker 1: choice since they lived in the same area when my

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Speaker 1: parents were alive and visited them frequently. I and my

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Speaker 1: grandparents only grandchild, as my aunt forty three female, is

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Speaker 1: child free. So when they passed on, they left me

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Speaker 1: their house. So he got pretty big compared he got

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Speaker 1: a pretty big inheritance.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, he's getting him big bucks.

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Speaker 1: The current total value of the house is around five

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Speaker 1: hundred thousand smack a roooms. Oh, half a million, half

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Speaker 1: a million a bank. Well, not in the bank, but

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Speaker 1: in a house, in a house, in a house, and

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Speaker 1: that that's lowballing the estimate. And it's fully paid off.

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Speaker 1: So I basically have a really good head start in life.

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Speaker 1: Although I could never imagine selling it. Finance it, you know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: you could think out you take out a loan. John knows.

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Speaker 1: I see John knows about loans. We live off loans, baby. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: how do you think the show started? Yea, it was

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Speaker 1: a payday loan, that's right.

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Speaker 2: I'm I'm my thirty percent not high enough.

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Speaker 1: No, I want fifty percent, fifty percent in my kneecaps,

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Speaker 1: that's what.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I need to owe you a body part for

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Speaker 2: this loan to.

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Speaker 1: They cut our ears off. Yeah, to fund this show,

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Speaker 1: all right, recently, I was approached by a strange man

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Speaker 1: thirty eight male named John.

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Speaker 2: May Al John's sus He.

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Speaker 1: Had a beard, long blonde hair, definitely uses a few

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Speaker 1: shampoos and conditioners.

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Speaker 2: That's right, and UH aged aged thirty years in this sighting.

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Speaker 1: It doesn't look like John thirty eight mail John claiming

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Speaker 1: to be my grandfather's son and would like a DNA

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Speaker 1: test to verify it.

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Speaker 3: This is like, this is like like when UH women

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Speaker 3: like go up to rappers like, yo, give me, give

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Speaker 3: me a DNA test.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, bro, I have your baby, your own.

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Speaker 2: Uncle or potentially your own uncle.

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Speaker 1: Also, it's like it's like so convenient that this guy

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Speaker 1: shows up right after they died. It's like, Okay, now

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Speaker 1: that there's money involved, let's rekindle that relationship I had

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Speaker 1: with my family.

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Speaker 2: It's funny how when we were cleaning Grandpa's dukies out

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Speaker 2: of his underwear, you were nowhere to be found.

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Speaker 1: Where were you with a dukie cleaning nowhere? Nowhere? Probably

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Speaker 1: making dukies on Amberherd's bed. It seems like you share

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Speaker 1: some similarities. Call back, call back, Okay, I was shocked

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Speaker 1: and didn't believe him, which I did. I totally understand, Like,

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Speaker 1: this guy comes out of the woodworks and he's like,

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Speaker 1: I'm your long lost bastard uncle.

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Speaker 2: I'm your uncle.

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Speaker 1: I'm your uncle.

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Speaker 2: Uh no, all right.

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Speaker 1: I told him to f off because that would mean

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Speaker 1: that my grandfather cheated on my grandmother.

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Speaker 2: We ain't here for that, not grandpa.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, are you gonna solely your your your grand your

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Speaker 1: dead grandpa's family name? Which is your family name? I

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Speaker 1: don't think so. He also contacted my aunt and she

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Speaker 1: actually recognized him as the neighbor's kid who moved away

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Speaker 1: years ago. Yo, the neighbor's kid.

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Speaker 2: The neighbors kid. So it's like, why would the neighbor

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Speaker 2: take you in? Yeah? What incentive do they have? This

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Speaker 2: is I'm suspicious.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Well now now I'm suspicious of Graham's

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Speaker 1: because it's like, you know, the neighbors. He is only

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Speaker 1: so far away.

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Speaker 3: He would have like, why would a neighbor just taken

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Speaker 3: a random like a fair child?

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Speaker 1: Well what if the oh.

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Speaker 2: The neighbors. He had it with the neighbors, Okay, yes.

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Speaker 1: Yes, he slept with his neighbor's wife.

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Speaker 2: Figure about that fart, yeah yeah, and then she just

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Speaker 2: carried it as her own here we go. Yep, now

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Speaker 2: we're cooking with a gay. This is some juice. We

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Speaker 2: got some juice squeeze from this story. It's heating up.

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Speaker 2: We're about to boil.

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Speaker 1: Apparently, my grandparents were friends with his parents, but then

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Speaker 1: one day there was this huge fight and the couple

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Speaker 1: just moved away mysteriously. John stated that his mom had

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Speaker 1: an affair with my grandfather, and when the husband found out,

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Speaker 1: he divorced his mom and they were forced to sell

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Speaker 1: the house. John said that his mom's husband wanted nothing

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Speaker 1: to do with him since he wasn't sure if he

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Speaker 1: was a father, and then abandoned him, which is rough.

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Speaker 2: Bro. If this is true, that's terrible. That's awful. Man.

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Speaker 1: It's like like, you know, all these years later, this

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Speaker 1: dude's like, dude, I just want to see, like what if.

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Speaker 1: It's just like he's on this quest to find out

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Speaker 1: who his real dad is. Eventually finds out that it's

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Speaker 1: Op's grandfather.

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Speaker 2: Finally is like I found my dad.

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Speaker 1: Now I can reconnect with them.

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Speaker 3: And then it's like, oh, like he's dead dead and

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Speaker 3: then he's like I've had so much like fed up stuff.

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Speaker 2: Just give me a cut, you know, give me a cut. Okay,

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Speaker 2: all right, it's it's getting interest. He's he's he's racking

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Speaker 2: up some points.

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Speaker 1: Years later, John tracked him down and after a DNA

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Speaker 1: test was confirmed that he wasn't the father. So his

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Speaker 1: father is no longer his father, so it must be

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Speaker 1: his neighbor, which is Op's grandpa?

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Speaker 2: Was he confirmed that he was that.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't think so.

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Speaker 2: The Lizzo quote.

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Speaker 1: Find out DNA test, I don't know the lyrics, Okay.

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Speaker 1: John's mom confessed that the only other possible candidate was

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Speaker 1: my grandfather Don Don. John's mom insisted her ex was

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Speaker 1: the father for years and honestly, like sure, a DNA

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Speaker 1: test is one thing, but just do your bare minimum research,

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Speaker 1: like do a public data check, right, you could cross

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Speaker 1: reference everything that this random guy says if he just

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Speaker 1: literally just looked up through public just literally, if you

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Speaker 1: literally just like looked up through public data check like, okay,

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Speaker 1: let me see who this guy is. Let me see

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Speaker 1: if he checks out, uh you know what he said,

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Speaker 1: like who he says he was.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you get it instantly.

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Speaker 3: You can get their criminal record if they have the

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Speaker 3: right name, age, like everything you need to know it hasn't.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so check out our Lincoln bio to do your

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Speaker 1: own background checks on those pesky little uncles that come

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Speaker 1: in taking your inheritance or anything, or anyone who's a

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Speaker 1: little bit sketchy. My aunt lives in another country. So

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Speaker 1: John has been asking me to do a DNA test

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Speaker 1: so they can finally know who his real father is

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Speaker 1: for sure, like with one hundred percent is earned. I

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Speaker 1: was willing to do it until my girlfriend, twenty six female,

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Speaker 1: brought up the issue of ownership of the house. I

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Speaker 1: did a quick check, and the DNA test proves that

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Speaker 1: John is indeed my grandfather's son. He might be able

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Speaker 1: to sue for his share of the estate.

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Speaker 2: Now we see.

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Speaker 1: Now we see the dollars and cents and are making sense.

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Speaker 1: I would be forced to sell my home because there's

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Speaker 1: no way I could even afford even a third of

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Speaker 1: the share if John wanted it, right, because like he

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Speaker 1: can't buy him out the.

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Speaker 2: House, and now they all have to make the decisions together.

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Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, it gets reeling messy. I contacted John

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Speaker 1: and said that I would be more than willing to

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Speaker 1: do a DNA test, but only under one condition. You

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Speaker 1: don't know what that condition is one.

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Speaker 2: Easy little condition, be my best friend.

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Speaker 1: Nope, side away any rights or claims to the house

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Speaker 1: if he's proven to be my grandfather's son via paperwork

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Speaker 1: that my lawyers will.

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Speaker 2: Draw up just one teenc ween see you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I didn't hear from John for a few days,

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Speaker 1: but then got an angry call from a woman claiming

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Speaker 1: to be his wife, who called me greedy and selfish,

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Speaker 1: that I couldn't possibly know that the that I couldn't

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Speaker 1: possibly know the pain of not knowing who my father is,

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Speaker 1: and that my grandfather Owes John bro did Opie's parents died?

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Speaker 2: Dude?

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Speaker 1: Come on, he probably Opie probably knows the pain of

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Speaker 1: not having a father.

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Speaker 3: And I would feel I would I would hear her

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Speaker 3: out if this didn't happen during the.

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Speaker 2: Estate, Yeah, like right after, right after this should have

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Speaker 2: been like like wouldn't you have known your whole life,

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Speaker 2: Like wouldn't you reach out like when you're like early adulthood.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just like very convenient that it happens right

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Speaker 1: where in all this money.

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Speaker 2: Super convenient.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but also like if I found out that I

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Speaker 1: was entitled to like half a million, you know, I'm

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Speaker 1: gonna see it put my pieces. Yeah, I'm about to.

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Speaker 1: I'm about to like go through the bathroom tissue paper

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Speaker 1: pick up some ecal matter from my boy that I

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Speaker 1: might be related to.

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Speaker 2: Is that Is that a DNA test?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, Okay, Yeah, I'm pretty sure you can

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Speaker 1: get some DNA.

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Speaker 2: From probably like a saliva or.

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Speaker 1: Something that might be harder. I guess did you ever

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Speaker 1: see in black Mirror they like he takes he takes

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Speaker 1: uh the lollipops and gets their saliva. That's how he

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Speaker 1: makes that clones of people. Anyway, my grandfather owes John

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Speaker 1: a cut of his estate. M M.

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Speaker 2: All right.

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Speaker 1: I hung up on her and contacted a lawyer. And

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Speaker 1: unless John can present enough and unless John can present

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Speaker 1: enough evidence to create doubt, he doesn't have much of

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Speaker 1: a case, especially since the possible father.

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Speaker 3: Is already seek But if he does get a DNA test, yeah,

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Speaker 3: he could prove it, though he could, so bro, like,

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Speaker 3: you better.

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Speaker 1: You gotta make sure it sounds icy, Yeah, I mean, like,

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Speaker 1: like what if he like sifts through the garbage or something.

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Speaker 2: I'd be worried. If I was op, I'd be worried.

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Speaker 1: While I'm content with never giving John what he wants

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Speaker 1: until he waives his rights, and my aunt won't either.

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Speaker 1: His wife has begun stalking me on social media and

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Speaker 1: putting me on blast. So am I the A hole?

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I don't know if I'm OPM, I'm common.

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Speaker 3: I'm sweating because so basically it all hinges upon if

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Speaker 3: wait and they can't legally force force them to do

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Speaker 3: force OPI to do a DNA test.

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Speaker 1: No, But the thing I'm like, you know, like, does

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Speaker 1: this long lost brother or uncle like deserve that money?

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Speaker 3: I think I think if he came back in the

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Speaker 3: family's life again, like the timing is just way too suspicious,

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Speaker 3: Like if he came when he was like, you know,

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Speaker 3: twenty four, and he's like hey, like when I, you know,

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Speaker 3: made it as an adult, I wanted to reach out

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Speaker 3: to my my family and like, you know, make amends.

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Speaker 2: That would make sense. But like I feel like thirty

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Speaker 2: I feel like you would do it before thirty eight,

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Speaker 2: like pretty late in the eight and it's right after

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Speaker 2: the grandpa died. Like dude, Also, like.

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Speaker 1: Are we even convinced that this guy is actually legitimately related?

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Speaker 1: It could just be some random dude, Like like I'm

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Speaker 1: almost imagining like there's I can imagine that there's some

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Speaker 1: scam out there where like they go through the obituaries

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Speaker 1: and like, okay, like let's go to this person today

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Speaker 1: and be like, hey, I'm your long loss blah blah blah,

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Speaker 1: let me get a DNA test, and then you fudge

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Speaker 1: the DNA test.

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Speaker 2: Wow, that's got to be massively illegal but also very genius.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I don't mean it would be.

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Speaker 2: It would be you would have to get like maybe

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Speaker 2: like his sister's DNA and then like, yeah, somehow get

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Speaker 2: that in their own DNA.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but it would be tough, but like you, probably

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Speaker 1: it's probably do probably doable. Don't get any ideas.

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Speaker 2: New okop business.

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Speaker 1: Yes, is this model don and that catches at some funerals.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, I feel like, I honestly think that the

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Speaker 1: even if even if he wasn't in his like, even

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Speaker 1: if he wasn't in the family's life, I still feel

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Speaker 1: like this bastard uncle like deserves his cut.

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Speaker 3: Uh.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like he still deserves I think so.

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Speaker 2: I think you're right. Like, from ope's perspective, I probably

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Speaker 2: would not say that, but from an outsider's perspective, I'm

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Speaker 2: like he is family, and he was.

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Speaker 1: Like coily bro. And I just think of it like background,

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Speaker 1: like that sucks.

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Speaker 2: Yeah yeah so.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, that's that's a tricky situation for OP. I

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Speaker 1: understand not wanting to give away like this house that.

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Speaker 3: I wouldn't do it if I was OP. But if

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Speaker 3: I'm like a judge or something, I'm like give him,

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Speaker 3: give him something.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Case closed.