WEBVTT - Irrationally angry at minor inconveniences. 0:00:02.080 --> 0:00:05.840 Well, come back to another episode of your host Kevin 0:00:05.880 --> 0:00:09.479 p Like, Yes, that Kevin Polo that contrary to modern belief, 0:00:09.560 --> 0:00:12.719 you should not, in fact put the line in the coconut. 0:00:12.720 --> 0:00:15.600 But I digress. Let's meet it, should I wait, in 0:00:15.640 --> 0:00:18.759 no particular order, looks quickly checking with Gary Anthony Williams 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:24.160 for his driving etiquette tips. Captain, First of all, God 0:00:24.200 --> 0:00:26.040 and disagree with the line in the coconut, even though 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:29.560 I know medically you're not supposed to. I will literally, 0:00:30.280 --> 0:00:34.360 literally never ever have coconut without the line insured it 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:40.880 forcibly inserted into it. Driving tips, Uh, do what I do. 0:00:41.400 --> 0:00:43.280 As soon as I buy a new car, I rip 0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:46.400 off the rear view mirrors and the side view mirrors 0:00:46.400 --> 0:00:49.000 because I'm not a dude who looks in the past. 0:00:49.360 --> 0:00:51.919 Don't right. I will never look in the past. I 0:00:52.000 --> 0:00:55.840 don't care what's back there. Look forward, straight ahead, a 0:00:55.880 --> 0:00:59.120 little to the side, just a little, just to let 0:00:59.200 --> 0:01:01.480 him know you you can't. Yeah, And to help people. 0:01:01.560 --> 0:01:04.440 Sometimes I take a ball peen hammer, never a hook hammer, 0:01:04.480 --> 0:01:07.080 just a regular ball peen and I go break people, 0:01:07.560 --> 0:01:11.120 uh side view mirrors, just so they're not tempted to 0:01:11.200 --> 0:01:14.839 look back. Don't be tempted folks. That's all he's trying 0:01:14.840 --> 0:01:17.480 to say. And now, please welcome back Jackie gonzalat the 0:01:17.600 --> 0:01:22.160 Ruth Jackie, never Jacqueline. When you travel by air, what 0:01:22.319 --> 0:01:26.440 is the most important item you must have with you? Gosh? Um, 0:01:26.480 --> 0:01:31.360 I'm gonna say headphones. Uh. Yes, I have been in 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:34.520 that position where I'm like, I don't have or like 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:38.480 and you need the plug in headphones because if my phone, 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:40.600 I don't want to look at my program on my 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:43.160 little tiny phone. I want to watch the program on 0:01:43.200 --> 0:01:45.480 the TV in front of me. Ah, you still have 0:01:45.480 --> 0:01:57.240 a little tiny phone. And she watched his programs my program. Hey, 0:01:57.280 --> 0:02:01.200 look there's James Cheney, Jango and Jimmy. What's that thing 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:06.280 you always do before you fall asleep at night? Well, 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:11.160 I guess I guess it's it's just doom scrolling through 0:02:11.200 --> 0:02:16.000 Netflix possibilities and never settling on something like and then 0:02:16.040 --> 0:02:18.959 I'll Usually my favorite thing to fall asleep to is 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:23.280 Neil deGrasse Tyson in the universe. Um, I'd like to 0:02:23.320 --> 0:02:25.919 try to mix it up. And I spend so much 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:30.000 time just looking instead of choosing. I have an indecision 0:02:30.040 --> 0:02:37.480 problem something. Oh yeah, usually, and it's usually a documentary, 0:02:38.400 --> 0:02:40.560 because otherwise it's gonna be something I care about. Like 0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:43.760 I just finished Severance, which I love the show, but 0:02:43.840 --> 0:02:46.400 it's like you gotta stop before you're falling asleep, so 0:02:46.400 --> 0:02:53.160 you don't ruin an episode for yourself. Yeah, like crazy, 0:02:53.280 --> 0:02:56.560 you guys don't do that. No, No, you're not crazy. 0:02:57.120 --> 0:03:00.680 Too many people I would say, do it. Look over there, 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:06.440 it's cold Strappon. Hello, America's pastime celebrator. In less than 0:03:06.480 --> 0:03:11.160 eleven words, what are the Detroit Tigers chances this year? 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:20.320 They are actually pretty darn good to compete in the division? Yeah? 0:03:20.800 --> 0:03:23.080 Wait a minute, hold on, that was eleven word? Yeah, 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:26.200 I asked Kevin Pollock, did you say less than eleven? 0:03:26.320 --> 0:03:29.839 I said lesson? So yeah, the guy at the grocery store. Look, 0:03:29.880 --> 0:03:35.320 I go to that the item, So yeah, he's that guy. 0:03:35.600 --> 0:03:37.680 I just needed everyone to know it. And last, but 0:03:37.800 --> 0:03:40.080 no more rollos for you. If you think of leaves, 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:44.600 it's a tool. Sing Mastro's enthusiasts. What sides would you 0:03:44.640 --> 0:03:48.840 like with your steak tonight? Uh, I'm big broccolini if 0:03:48.840 --> 0:03:51.360 they have it. If it's a fancy steakhouse, Broccolini, I'll 0:03:51.360 --> 0:03:55.000 take broccoli as well, mushrooms okay, sure, potatoes, any kind 0:03:55.000 --> 0:03:57.560 of potatoes. You can scalp him, you can mash them, 0:03:57.680 --> 0:04:00.400 it doesn't matter. I'll take him on the side. Um, 0:04:00.560 --> 0:04:05.920 doesn't matter. Yeah, yeah, I'll take potatoes anyway. Um a 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:08.560 chef choice. If if I can say that too, wha 0:04:08.680 --> 0:04:11.960 what then if he if they agree with that statement, 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:16.760 then I'll go with it. Thank you for most of that. 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:19.600 Let's do a damn show. All of our scene suggestions 0:04:19.600 --> 0:04:23.320 are gathered from your listener emails or from our Patreon 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:26.400 v I p s. What's that Well to become a 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:28.640 patron support of the show in joy exclusive content like 0:04:29.120 --> 0:04:33.160 standalone bonusing videos of our recording sessions, or at the 0:04:33.240 --> 0:04:37.960 highest level of support alcomaniac, we will have you in 0:04:38.000 --> 0:04:42.200 a zoom with us, as in right now. Yeah, we've 0:04:42.200 --> 0:04:46.120 had several and already it's been amazing. We'll have more. Um, 0:04:46.120 --> 0:04:48.119 I'm gonna say as early as next week. Don't push 0:04:48.240 --> 0:04:50.560 it's not good for anyone. Head on over the patroon 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:52.120 dot com slash I can be this. If you'd like 0:04:52.160 --> 0:04:54.240 to submit a scene suggestion by email, please right to 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:56.800 the podcast that are new not no longer new, but 0:04:56.880 --> 0:05:00.000 our email address alcomy this email at gmail dot com. 0:05:00.080 --> 0:05:05.120 That's our seen one comes to patron v I P. 0:05:05.600 --> 0:05:09.520 Jesse Han or Han, who wrote hello again. One of 0:05:09.560 --> 0:05:12.480 my previous suggestions is zen temple next to the pot shop. 0:05:12.880 --> 0:05:16.719 Was aired on Mr Alvarado's hosting debut, which was such 0:05:16.839 --> 0:05:21.279 a gift. Well done, buddy. I'll pass that along. Unrelated 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:23.960 Joey and Caroline yelling at each other will never not 0:05:24.040 --> 0:05:27.920 be funny. Also not here pass that along the suggestion 0:05:28.160 --> 0:05:38.240 ah finally, irrationally angry at minor inconveniences. Yes, Jesse, Uh, 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:42.039 do you need all those stamps? Sir? What? What that that? 0:05:42.040 --> 0:05:44.560 That that that that depends on your your your definition 0:05:44.800 --> 0:05:48.920 of need, sir, That depends on your definition of need. 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:56.040 Whether I need all these stamps? Must I have them? Yes? Okay, 0:05:56.240 --> 0:06:00.880 good to know. What about the salad ware? What now 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:06.800 the salad ware? Do I need the salad wear? Let 0:06:06.839 --> 0:06:09.039 me hold on, let me let me allow you to 0:06:09.120 --> 0:06:11.200 speak to my wife on this, because I am this 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:13.120 close and I don't know if you can see my 0:06:13.200 --> 0:06:16.520 fingers from where you're standing this close from slapping the 0:06:16.600 --> 0:06:23.719 taste out of your mouth. Honey, honey, m hmmmm, excuse me, babe. 0:06:23.760 --> 0:06:26.600 I'm sorry to disturb you in the middle of what 0:06:26.640 --> 0:06:29.200 you're doing, but this man had the nerve to ask 0:06:29.200 --> 0:06:32.440 me two questions. One do I need the stamps? And 0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:36.000 number two do I need the salad? Where do you 0:06:36.040 --> 0:06:39.720 want to talk to him? Or should I continue? Did 0:06:39.800 --> 0:06:41.880 you let me take care of it? And in the 0:06:41.960 --> 0:06:46.840 meantime pin between these two totes? Oh my mama, all 0:06:46.839 --> 0:06:51.120 about these totes. Between these two totes. Hello, sir, I 0:06:51.240 --> 0:06:54.680 understand that you were talking to my husband who would 0:06:54.680 --> 0:07:00.640 like to buy some stamps about salad war. That's right. 0:07:00.680 --> 0:07:03.520 My name is Thomas Fur and um, you know we 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:07.080 have various items in the salad ware department. Well, here's 0:07:07.080 --> 0:07:10.840 the thing, Mr Fur, Sir, he didn't ask for that, 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:14.880 and you're bringing it up. Is a source subject for 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:18.040 my husband, who's actually spent a lot of time and 0:07:18.080 --> 0:07:24.480 effort working on his physique. Ah, and you implying that 0:07:24.560 --> 0:07:32.560 he needs salad where it's offensive and hurtful. Maybe I 0:07:32.680 --> 0:07:36.400 chose the bluetote. Did you explain to him how offended 0:07:36.520 --> 0:07:40.520 and hurt I get by his asking me questions that 0:07:40.600 --> 0:07:43.160 apply to my weight? I didn't. I did in a 0:07:43.560 --> 0:07:46.600 calm manner. I I felt thank you for your calmness, 0:07:47.080 --> 0:07:51.040 and I stand corrected, And how may I be of 0:07:51.080 --> 0:07:56.240 service the stamps? Did we did we go far afoot? 0:07:56.920 --> 0:08:02.440 Excuse me? You're out of ice at this found machine? Um? 0:08:02.800 --> 0:08:04.960 What kind of what kind of establishment are you trying 0:08:04.960 --> 0:08:08.280 to run here? All right? Well, we're the Ice Brothers, 0:08:08.640 --> 0:08:12.920 and um, this is kind of embarrassing because pride ourselves 0:08:12.920 --> 0:08:15.880 on having our fountain things always full of ice. And 0:08:15.920 --> 0:08:18.840 that's the thing. Everything at Ice Brothers is cold. Everything 0:08:18.840 --> 0:08:21.240 you order here is cold. And now I feel like 0:08:21.280 --> 0:08:24.960 your drink will not be cold enough. And which one 0:08:24.960 --> 0:08:30.360 of you is Trevor Ice? Oh, I'm Trevor. I'm Trevor. 0:08:31.040 --> 0:08:34.600 That makes you Louis Ice? Realis Ice? Yeah? Please call 0:08:34.640 --> 0:08:37.360 me Louis. All right, Louis Ice. Let me tell you 0:08:37.520 --> 0:08:40.240 I can take my business over to the Ice family 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:44.640 that's across the street. Tell him no, Luise, No, don't 0:08:44.679 --> 0:08:47.000 please please do? I mean that's that's that's that's the 0:08:47.040 --> 0:08:49.600 big the big ice store. And they say their family, 0:08:49.640 --> 0:08:51.880 but they're not. They have lots of funding and they 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:55.240 have they're franchised. And we're just a mom and pop 0:08:55.320 --> 0:08:58.480 I shop. Your your mom and pop I stop shop 0:08:58.600 --> 0:09:02.120 is what that's our advertising? And if he's the only 0:09:02.200 --> 0:09:04.760 I stop shop I go to. Alright, let look up 0:09:04.760 --> 0:09:07.880 introduced me to this ice stop shop, sir, come right here. 0:09:08.280 --> 0:09:11.840 I understand that you had a situation with Trevor and Lewis. 0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:16.080 Yes across the street. Yes, I'm just we're welcome to 0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:19.160 our family establishment. Let me explain something. You will never 0:09:19.679 --> 0:09:25.600 ever find dissatisfaction here without ice. This is is that 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:28.120 is that one block of ice. There's one block of ice. 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:34.400 Take your shared off, Take your shared off. Um, it's 0:09:34.440 --> 0:09:37.319 gonna be cold, I'll be cold. You'll be surprised at 0:09:37.320 --> 0:09:41.520 the just slight coolness of eyes. Why am I fighting 0:09:41.520 --> 0:09:46.840 this here? You go? Oh yeah, I don't feel much colder, 0:09:46.840 --> 0:09:50.640 but I feel cool cool. Look look, I know that 0:09:50.720 --> 0:09:54.440 you've probably done ice business for years with Trevor and Lewis. 0:09:54.480 --> 0:09:57.120 And I hate to say this, and this is gonna 0:09:57.160 --> 0:09:59.240 sound gross, but all of the ice is made out 0:09:59.240 --> 0:10:01.439 of their own space. It here. We don't want we 0:10:01.480 --> 0:10:04.520 wouldn't do such a thing, you know. They said, And 0:10:04.559 --> 0:10:06.280 I don't like to bring up what competitors say, but 0:10:06.280 --> 0:10:08.760 they said that you're not a family business. Is that true? 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:12.520 I'm not a family business. Let me get my wife, sir, 0:10:12.640 --> 0:10:18.240 hold on, darling, darling, Yes, would you come in here 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:21.439 and explain to this man while I go choose between 0:10:21.480 --> 0:10:25.000 these two ice cubemakers, would you explain to him the 0:10:25.040 --> 0:10:29.199 familiarity of our business. I put my shirt on before 0:10:29.200 --> 0:10:31.600 your wife. Oh no, you don't have to put your 0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:33.400 shirt on. I mean it can. It depends on your 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:36.640 comfort level. I'm certainly comfortable with what I'm looking at. 0:10:37.920 --> 0:10:43.320 Familiarity yes, well, family, no, no, thank you. I've seen children. 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:46.160 I'm sure it all works out on paper. But we're 0:10:46.160 --> 0:10:50.680 not what you call braids, my husband, but you're it's hey, 0:10:50.800 --> 0:10:54.480 you're married. That's that's that's that's great, that's that's family. 0:10:54.800 --> 0:10:57.840 And I just want to bring my business to a family. 0:10:57.920 --> 0:11:00.400 You know, I don't want to wear a family. We 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:08.520 have seven cats, one puppy, and a bird. Bird. Wow. Yeah, 0:11:09.440 --> 0:11:13.040 it's a it's kind of a loud bird. I don't 0:11:13.040 --> 0:11:15.880 know if you want me to introduce to you. Well, 0:11:15.920 --> 0:11:17.400 if i'm here, i'd like to meet them if I'm 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:21.360 gonna give my business to this store. Have you ever 0:11:21.360 --> 0:11:24.400 spoken with a bird before? I have not. Oh, this 0:11:24.480 --> 0:11:34.240 is exciting, sweetie, sweetie. Uh, this is mr. Oh, so, 0:11:34.480 --> 0:11:42.000 I'm sorry, my Ted did Rosie is much much bigger 0:11:42.000 --> 0:11:46.000 than I thought. Look at the wingspan. Yeah, sweetie is 0:11:46.040 --> 0:11:54.280 a five footer. Sweetie, Ted, say hello to Ted b I. Um, 0:11:54.320 --> 0:11:58.679 that's a sweet dad. Wow, it's all right. Do you 0:11:58.840 --> 0:12:03.160 have any questions for sweet because I'll take a fourteen 0:12:03.200 --> 0:12:07.000 blocks of two inch ice? Sweetie? Do you want to 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:16.000 help with the blocks of ice? Pa? That's a hard pass, um, Carrie. 0:12:18.440 --> 0:12:24.000 I called this roommate meeting because I've seen you opening 0:12:24.080 --> 0:12:27.199 up the fridge and the freezer, and I've seen you 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:36.599 eyeballing my chicken nuggets. Uh uh, and then today I 0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:41.560 go to eat them and they're not there? Oh my god, 0:12:42.720 --> 0:12:48.959 what happened to them? You fucking ate them? I didn't, you, liar, 0:12:49.960 --> 0:12:55.079 I'm your gaslighting me. Carry, you're gaslighting me. I have 0:12:55.240 --> 0:12:58.120 a chicken allergy. It's chicken. You see how much that's 0:12:58.280 --> 0:13:01.680 very important to me. I was hungry. It was late 0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:04.760 the story. Carry. Do you have an allergy? Or were 0:13:04.840 --> 0:13:08.000 you hungry? And I do have an allergy and that's 0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:11.160 why my wrists are all read nitchy. I don't think, 0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:14.800 I don't think. I don't think this is working out. Please, 0:13:15.440 --> 0:13:18.800 please please, I can't afford this. Please for myself. Please 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:23.680 don't leave, Please don't leave time that this has happening. 0:13:23.800 --> 0:13:28.800 I swear to myself I would not let it happen again. Okay, 0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:32.000 are you too ready to appear in front of Judge 0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:36.480 Steve Harvey? Mm hmm, Okay, here we go. Just follow me, 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:42.559 d d and Danton Judge Harvey Show. Just go to 0:13:42.679 --> 0:13:47.360 your prospective spots where we showed you during rehearsal. Okay, okay, ladies, 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:52.199 Dorman going now stand up for Judge Harvey. Thank you, 0:13:52.720 --> 0:13:55.079 thank god, thank god, thank god. I just got this 0:13:55.240 --> 0:14:00.400 new suit. Downtown. They playtiff and the defendant. One is 0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:04.319 the plaine defend? Which one is the defend? And I've 0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:07.679 been defended because I didn't do what is being accused me. 0:14:09.840 --> 0:14:15.880 And I'm upset and I'm upset Steve. She always complains, 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:19.920 so I'm sure she's been complained to. We've been roommates 0:14:20.120 --> 0:14:23.960 for two and a half years. Two and a half years. 0:14:24.160 --> 0:14:29.360 Just down the drain, Hold on, hold on, just one moment, yo, yo, 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:31.360 I hate hate Timmy. Get my agent on the phone 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:34.400 and get my agent. Yeah, of course, sorry, Hold on, people, 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:42.160 I have Steve Harvey holding for you, right, okay, yeah, 0:14:42.440 --> 0:14:46.080 Tecent tempercent okay, yeah, go ahead, sure, sure, put him on. 0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:50.280 Thank you, Thank you. Man. Hey, look, I'm in the middle, 0:14:50.360 --> 0:14:54.000 like literally, we're taping live right now. The play defended, 0:14:54.120 --> 0:14:56.520 defending or standing in front of me live right now. 0:14:56.560 --> 0:14:58.560 We're taping live right now. I'm on live right now. 0:14:58.800 --> 0:15:00.440 But I wanted to take this more. What to call 0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:05.360 you to tell you to get me out of this contract. Man, Look, 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:09.720 you've just got to do three more episodes, Steve, stand, 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:11.600 but I feel like I feel like I've reached I've 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:14.440 reached my level of hearing people complain about the most 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:18.600 insignificant bullshit. No, I get that, Steve. I understand it's 0:15:18.680 --> 0:15:21.520 not the dream gig. But you know you've you've hosted shows. 0:15:21.520 --> 0:15:23.400 I mean, you've done family a few for twenty three 0:15:23.520 --> 0:15:25.920 years now. I mean, this is just three more episodes 0:15:25.960 --> 0:15:31.040 of this, Okay, Okay, Okay, I'm gonna go back out there. 0:15:31.040 --> 0:15:32.560 I'm gonna try to put my heart into it, but 0:15:32.600 --> 0:15:36.120 I gotta tell you, my heart's not in it. My 0:15:36.240 --> 0:15:38.040 heart's not in it. In it along, just don't let 0:15:38.080 --> 0:15:41.920 that show, Steve, Just don't let it show. Okay, you're 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:44.720 pro did you do a favorite? Could you call Trevor 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:47.760 and Louis ice and have them to bring me over 0:15:47.920 --> 0:15:50.360 right now, just to hunk of ice with salt like 0:15:50.440 --> 0:15:53.280 a salted ice, hunk like a salt lip for ice. 0:15:53.840 --> 0:15:55.840 You gotta, Steve, I'll make that call. That's the only 0:15:55.880 --> 0:15:58.000 way I'm gonna get through this man. Yeah, I understand, 0:15:58.040 --> 0:15:59.400 I understand. I'll make sure that they think of that 0:15:59.440 --> 0:16:03.440 ice to you. Judge. We're still we're still on the air, Judge, 0:16:03.480 --> 0:16:05.720 I know we live, right, We'll take them alive, right. Yes, 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:14.680 I've heard your complaints. I understand your complaints. Uh, and 0:16:14.840 --> 0:16:18.680 I do not care about your complaints. God that has 0:16:18.720 --> 0:16:25.040 seen one, that has seen one, ladies and jews seen two. 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:28.480 Comes from patron VP Ben b, who wrote scene suggest 0:16:28.600 --> 0:16:32.440 small time grocery store cashier desperate for gossip reads way 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:36.520 too much into the ordinary items people are buying. You, guys, 0:16:36.600 --> 0:16:40.880 are the cats mewing pajamas? Ben, Hey, baby, when you 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:42.840 go to the grocery store, will you just bring back 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:47.280 some so no, please Sweden, they're unsweetened. The unsweetened. I 0:16:47.440 --> 0:16:50.000 don't believe in sugar anymore. I literally don't believe that 0:16:50.120 --> 0:16:58.160 it exists in it, right, okay? Anything else? No? No? No? People? 0:16:58.920 --> 0:17:03.280 How's it going today? Good? Great? I mean I just 0:17:03.400 --> 0:17:07.600 came to get one item, so you know, we'll just 0:17:07.640 --> 0:17:09.280 to let you know. There is a line that we 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:11.840 do have that is ten items or less you can use. 0:17:12.720 --> 0:17:14.840 I know, it's crazy, right, and I didn't want to 0:17:14.920 --> 0:17:18.040 do that because why the ten items are less? Line 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:21.040 is wide open. The ten items are less line is 0:17:21.960 --> 0:17:24.360 people can go to it. And I'm already first in line. 0:17:24.400 --> 0:17:27.960 This is terrific, and how are you? I'm so sorry, 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:30.280 I'm so sorry. Do you mind if I go ahead 0:17:30.320 --> 0:17:32.240 of her? Since she could use the open one and 0:17:32.280 --> 0:17:35.040 I can't. And I've got all these groceries, So you'd 0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:36.680 like to go in front of me with my one 0:17:36.720 --> 0:17:40.480 item and your thirty seven items? Because why because there's 0:17:40.520 --> 0:17:43.399 a whole line dedicated to people just like you, and 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:47.359 I gotta wait. Anyways, So are you where? If you 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:50.200 had just kept to your peace and cueues, I'd be 0:17:50.359 --> 0:17:53.480 long on my way by now. The ten items are less, 0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:56.159 line is wide open. In fact, we're now giving away 0:17:56.280 --> 0:18:00.800 free groceries if anyone uses our ten item or last line. 0:18:01.080 --> 0:18:05.120 I mean, I'm tempted, but I'm already here, and you've 0:18:05.119 --> 0:18:07.359 already got my autem in your hand. If you just 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:11.919 go come on so you can see the situation. I mean, 0:18:11.960 --> 0:18:14.800 this is ridiculous. Let me go first, No, sir, I'm 0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:20.200 just gonna discuss most here first. Four thirty eight, break 0:18:20.240 --> 0:18:27.920 the silks, drinking my husband's milk, calling grocery security to 0:18:28.160 --> 0:18:30.920 counter three, grocery security to counter three. So you just 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:33.200 wanted this to move along? And look who's taking forever 0:18:33.320 --> 0:18:37.120 because of their own insanity? What is your nap? Hey, 0:18:37.240 --> 0:18:41.040 what's the problem here? Um? This gentleman was checking out. 0:18:41.920 --> 0:18:45.760 I'm Peter, and he was forcibly trying to tell the 0:18:45.880 --> 0:18:49.200 silk milk purchaser that he wanted to go first. So 0:18:49.320 --> 0:18:52.920 he then ripped the silk milk. Um, that's a low spill. 0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:55.320 We now, don't you have cameras and whatnot? Can you 0:18:56.040 --> 0:18:58.240 let's go to the video. I've always wanted to say 0:18:58.280 --> 0:19:00.600 that you're ripping, You're rip and say milks out of 0:19:00.600 --> 0:19:05.320 people's hands. Let me save everybody time. Ten items are less. 0:19:05.400 --> 0:19:08.560 Line right there, that was open. That's my crime, that's 0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:11.639 my crime. I got into the wrong line. Charleston, Charleston, 0:19:11.720 --> 0:19:14.160 I just heard them asking for the They were gonna 0:19:14.160 --> 0:19:16.240 want the video of an event that just happened in 0:19:16.280 --> 0:19:19.280 the store, and Charleston, I literally forgot to hook up 0:19:19.320 --> 0:19:21.760 the video cameras. There's any way you can get in 0:19:21.800 --> 0:19:24.200 there and just just we can shoot a fake video 0:19:24.240 --> 0:19:26.560 of whatever they think that just happened. That would really 0:19:26.600 --> 0:19:29.520 save my ass, really save my job, Charleston, Eric, Frank, Look, 0:19:29.600 --> 0:19:33.680 I did one hour film festival one time, and you 0:19:33.760 --> 0:19:37.119 were great. I don't work that fast normally. I like 0:19:37.280 --> 0:19:40.760 to compose shots. I like to rehearse with the cast 0:19:40.840 --> 0:19:43.160 and the crew. I like to do it correct. Here 0:19:43.320 --> 0:19:46.520 here in my house, Keith, it means that much to me. 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:48.920 I will let you have my house for the entire 0:19:49.040 --> 0:19:51.200 summer and a portion of the fall if you will 0:19:51.240 --> 0:19:53.600 do me this one solid. It means a lot, Charleston. 0:19:55.760 --> 0:19:58.240 Do you even know what happened? If I had to 0:19:58.320 --> 0:20:01.720 reenact this, I need to know. There was something about milk, 0:20:01.840 --> 0:20:03.639 and there was a line. There was a line and 0:20:03.720 --> 0:20:06.800 there was something about milk. Your work is so amazing. 0:20:06.800 --> 0:20:08.440 I'm sure, I'm sure you can fill in the gap. 0:20:08.920 --> 0:20:10.959 All right, Frank. Look, I've got a couple, I've got 0:20:10.960 --> 0:20:14.000 a little acting troop on speed dial. I'll see if 0:20:14.000 --> 0:20:18.000 they're available, if they can come down. Of yes, I 0:20:18.080 --> 0:20:20.000 am free, of course I can do it for you. 0:20:20.880 --> 0:20:23.400 Is this so we're going to be doing anything from 0:20:23.440 --> 0:20:27.119 the board's collection. Uh, this isn't a Shakespeare work. This 0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:32.359 is a grocery store re enactment. Perhaps it's not a 0:20:32.440 --> 0:20:35.720 Christopher Marlowe thing. Uh, it's not to rang, it's not 0:20:35.840 --> 0:20:39.399 Neil Simon. In fact, it's we're going to contemporary. Is 0:20:39.480 --> 0:20:44.159 it Neil Simon? I just said it was not Neil Simon. 0:20:45.400 --> 0:20:49.119 I'm a listening actor. First I do I apologize for 0:20:49.359 --> 0:20:54.440 the error. All right, you're gonna be portraying the customer 0:20:54.600 --> 0:21:00.639 with thirty seven items. Uh, customer, I'm married, four kids, 0:21:01.240 --> 0:21:04.200 I live in a suburban home, and I've decided today 0:21:04.320 --> 0:21:06.600 is the day that i leave my job. But on 0:21:06.720 --> 0:21:11.879 the way home, I've decided to get grocery items. You know, 0:21:11.920 --> 0:21:15.720 I'm just gonna call Steve instead. But thank you for 0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:20.080 being available. Thank you. I'm still equit you. By the way, Great, 0:21:20.200 --> 0:21:22.879 this isn't a stage production, so it doesn't Darling. Pick 0:21:22.960 --> 0:21:24.400 up the phone. Come on, baby, pick up the phone. 0:21:24.440 --> 0:21:26.680 I need that soap. Pick up the phone. So we 0:21:26.760 --> 0:21:30.960 need pick up the Hello, where are you with the soap? Milk? 0:21:31.119 --> 0:21:34.080 I'm sitting here with a bowl of very dry cheios? 0:21:34.119 --> 0:21:38.639 And and they misshapp down at the grocery store. What 0:21:38.760 --> 0:21:45.040 kind of mishappened? Well? I was first in line by milk. Okay, 0:21:45.359 --> 0:21:51.800 everything was going. Then a truly insane individual came up 0:21:51.800 --> 0:21:54.000 behind me and started yelling at me about going out 0:21:54.040 --> 0:21:58.320 of line, getting into another Linearly, are you aware of this? 0:21:58.440 --> 0:22:01.480 There's a ten items or less. I never heard of it, 0:22:01.560 --> 0:22:06.359 never heard of it? So so how long? How long 0:22:06.400 --> 0:22:10.240 should I mean? What? What should let me ask? The officer? 0:22:10.320 --> 0:22:14.920 Hold on? How long? How much longer will this be? Uh? 0:22:16.119 --> 0:22:20.920 In terms of me getting out away home from Sorry, 0:22:21.000 --> 0:22:23.159 here's the tape. Here's the tape. Here's the tape of 0:22:23.200 --> 0:22:29.840 the incident. Accurate? Okay, yeah, I'll watch. I'll watch the tape. 0:22:30.000 --> 0:22:31.920 Do you see me? They're standing at the front of 0:22:31.960 --> 0:22:35.240 the line. I see like the back of someone's head. 0:22:35.359 --> 0:22:38.520 It's a little different, longer hair, trust me, it's me. 0:22:38.720 --> 0:22:41.680 And then the gentleman there's ringing up my one item. 0:22:41.720 --> 0:22:44.320 And then I'm not wearing that frilly outfit. Whatever that 0:22:44.400 --> 0:22:46.679 thing is around that person's neck that's not me. It's 0:22:46.720 --> 0:22:55.520 an ascot at lunatic right in the ascot. Listen, this 0:22:55.840 --> 0:22:58.600 is I don't know what to tell you. My job 0:22:58.840 --> 0:23:01.040 is hold on coming about an act break. This is 0:23:02.000 --> 0:23:06.840 this is good. I did that. Wow. And the Emmy 0:23:07.000 --> 0:23:12.840 for Best Actor and a Short goes to Convenience Story 0:23:12.920 --> 0:23:25.560 re enactment and Philip Harald say something, say something, Speach, 0:23:25.720 --> 0:23:30.080 say something, say something, Philip, feel free to say a 0:23:30.160 --> 0:23:36.720 few words. Um. Sorry, sorry, I don't usually get to 0:23:36.840 --> 0:23:41.840 speak out loud. The piece was obviously only video, so 0:23:42.080 --> 0:23:45.520 I debated doing my work when I was pulling this character. 0:23:45.640 --> 0:23:48.240 But if you look closely, I am actually talking. There's 0:23:48.320 --> 0:23:54.200 just no audio. And I want to thank the committee, 0:23:54.600 --> 0:23:59.600 the the group of well well wait wait wait, I 0:23:59.640 --> 0:24:02.200 got it. But there's a lot of people have forbidden 0:24:03.160 --> 0:24:06.920 on the stage. Hey, orchestra, I couldn't help, but notice 0:24:06.960 --> 0:24:12.879 you're playing people off with the commencement music. Pumping circumstance. Yes, um, 0:24:13.960 --> 0:24:17.000 we have a whole catalog of actual songs from TV 0:24:17.119 --> 0:24:20.760 and film. Yeah, it's just a pumping circumstances is our favorite. 0:24:21.080 --> 0:24:24.359 Al Right, guys, yeah, hey guys, I'm sorry to interrupt 0:24:24.440 --> 0:24:26.960 the meeting. Uh have you guys seen the ratings, the 0:24:27.119 --> 0:24:30.080 ratings doing up seven thousand percent because of I didn't 0:24:30.080 --> 0:24:31.560 get to see the show. By the way, whatever the 0:24:31.680 --> 0:24:35.199 music that they were playing last night, seven we hit 0:24:35.240 --> 0:24:39.399 the demographic. We finally hit that jackpot demographic. What what what? 0:24:39.840 --> 0:24:43.120 What you know? And itways, whatever happened, just keep it going. 0:24:43.200 --> 0:24:45.560 I got to go back to the car. Steve Harvey's 0:24:45.560 --> 0:24:48.280 out in my car. He's looking at a job change. 0:24:48.280 --> 0:24:49.440 He wants to show for me for the rest of 0:24:49.520 --> 0:24:53.000 his life. I gotta go. Oh yeah, I had to 0:24:53.040 --> 0:24:54.880 hand it to here. I really for me. I thought 0:24:54.920 --> 0:24:56.399 that's when the stim when he jumped the shark, But 0:24:56.480 --> 0:24:59.200 I guess this when he just found it for real footing. Um, 0:25:00.040 --> 0:25:03.159 here's another list of a bunch of traditional songs we 0:25:03.240 --> 0:25:07.800 could use green sleeves. Um, there's the thing you play 0:25:07.840 --> 0:25:15.840 at weddings, wedding march. Um. I think, hello, hello, hello, yeah, 0:25:15.840 --> 0:25:21.800 I'm looking at Mr Pumping Circumstance one moment. Please could 0:25:21.800 --> 0:25:25.160 at least have some whole music in here. This is hello, yeah, 0:25:25.359 --> 0:25:29.080 Mr Pumping Circumstance. You can call me pump Okay, Yeah, 0:25:29.760 --> 0:25:35.240 my name is Philip. See more hofly Philip see more hofly. 0:25:36.640 --> 0:25:39.520 Can I call you Philip? Please do? I am an attorney, 0:25:39.520 --> 0:25:42.359 I'm a very litigious one. It appears that some of 0:25:42.480 --> 0:25:45.639 your music may have been used with and or without 0:25:45.760 --> 0:25:49.639 your knowledge, and I would like to represent you. What 0:25:49.760 --> 0:25:51.280