1 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:12,799 Speaker 1: You're listening to Alive Again, a production of Psychopia Pictures 2 00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:14,640 Speaker 1: and iHeart Podcasts. 3 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,840 Speaker 2: My name is Staff Sergeantnick Bradley, United States Air Force. 4 00:00:18,480 --> 00:00:21,759 Speaker 2: On August third, two thousand and eight, my truck was 5 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:25,840 Speaker 2: blown up by a twenty pound anti tak mine. You 6 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:27,640 Speaker 2: can't go through the things I've been through in life 7 00:00:27,680 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 2: and not believe in something right. Because let's just say 8 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 2: I'm wrong. Then I wasted a lifetime being wrong. But 9 00:00:34,840 --> 00:00:38,760 Speaker 2: then let's say I'm right. Well, I'm right for a 10 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:39,320 Speaker 2: lot longer. 11 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:47,519 Speaker 1: Welcome to Alive Again, a podcast that showcases miraculous accounts 12 00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,960 Speaker 1: of human fragility and resilience from people whose lives were 13 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:56,000 Speaker 1: forever altered after having almost died. These are first hand 14 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:59,840 Speaker 1: accounts of near death experiences and more broadly, brushes with death. 15 00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:04,080 Speaker 1: Our mission is simple, find, explore, and share these stories 16 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:06,959 Speaker 1: to remind us all of our shared human condition. Please 17 00:01:07,040 --> 00:01:09,320 Speaker 1: keep in mind these stories are true and maybe triggering 18 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:11,600 Speaker 1: for some listener and discretion as advised. 19 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:22,320 Speaker 2: How I would describe myself as I'm a big kid. Honestly, 20 00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:26,399 Speaker 2: you know, I've just learned to appreciate life and a 21 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:34,080 Speaker 2: different light, so to speak. I was born in Eldedo, Arkansas, 22 00:01:34,880 --> 00:01:37,959 Speaker 2: population like thirty thousand people something like that. And then 23 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,400 Speaker 2: when I was twelve years old, we moved to an 24 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:45,039 Speaker 2: even smaller town, population three hundred and thirty people. So 25 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:46,800 Speaker 2: that was a bit of a culture shock for me. 26 00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:50,120 Speaker 2: But I mean I kind of loved it, the solitude 27 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 2: of it all. You know, it was quiet, you could 28 00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:55,920 Speaker 2: see all the stars in the sky every night. I 29 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 2: think it kind of shaped a lot of my perspective 30 00:01:59,680 --> 00:02:04,000 Speaker 2: online life, just the way I view things and how 31 00:02:04,040 --> 00:02:06,680 Speaker 2: I treat things and right, because it's real easy to 32 00:02:06,720 --> 00:02:08,679 Speaker 2: get trapped in negative things. And I think that's where 33 00:02:08,680 --> 00:02:12,360 Speaker 2: the foundation of that perspective I have on things it 34 00:02:12,480 --> 00:02:16,960 Speaker 2: kind of began. I just I just I've always just 35 00:02:17,080 --> 00:02:20,280 Speaker 2: like I love to laugh and I like when other 36 00:02:20,320 --> 00:02:24,000 Speaker 2: people laugh. You know, it just it just changes the mood. 37 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:26,120 Speaker 2: It can dictate a lot of things. I mean, it's 38 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:28,680 Speaker 2: cause it's real easy to get stuck in like the 39 00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,640 Speaker 2: bad are the negative of things, right, kind of like 40 00:02:31,720 --> 00:02:34,120 Speaker 2: my story. You know, I think had I not had 41 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:36,320 Speaker 2: that outlook, it would have been real easy for me 42 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:47,000 Speaker 2: to just stay negative. Honestly, I never just wanted to 43 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 2: serve to be honest with you when I graduated high school. 44 00:02:51,560 --> 00:02:54,000 Speaker 2: My dad, he simply just told me, He's like, Nick, 45 00:02:54,040 --> 00:02:57,960 Speaker 2: you got to go to college or something. You can't 46 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 2: do nothing, and you need to. You need to find 47 00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:03,160 Speaker 2: your own way. You need to Essentially, you got thirty 48 00:03:03,200 --> 00:03:05,360 Speaker 2: days to get out of my house make a path. 49 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,360 Speaker 2: And at that point I had already been talking to 50 00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 2: a recruiter and so, you know, it seemed like a 51 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,280 Speaker 2: viable option. I was tired of going to school. I 52 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,080 Speaker 2: was like, I can go in the military, and you know, 53 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 2: they'll pay for this and they'll pay for that. I 54 00:03:19,040 --> 00:03:21,480 Speaker 2: had a buddy that joined the Marines, and I remember 55 00:03:21,520 --> 00:03:22,960 Speaker 2: he said to me, He's like, Nick, I hear the 56 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,800 Speaker 2: Air Force is way better. Join the Air Force. I 57 00:03:25,840 --> 00:03:27,720 Speaker 2: did way more deployments than him too, by the way, 58 00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:32,320 Speaker 2: but nonetheless I ended up joining the Air Force and 59 00:03:32,560 --> 00:03:44,080 Speaker 2: June of one, so right before September eleventh, I just 60 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:46,280 Speaker 2: thought boot camp was pretty easy because my dad was 61 00:03:46,640 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 2: really tough on me growing up, you know, because I 62 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:52,640 Speaker 2: deserved it. Probably started just time learning the ropes, you know, 63 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 2: real green about all of it. Kind of my mindset 64 00:03:56,480 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 2: mentally where I was at is I was pretty happy. 65 00:04:00,160 --> 00:04:02,920 Speaker 2: I liked how things were going, but I think boot 66 00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:05,640 Speaker 2: camp was easier for me just because I always again 67 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:07,800 Speaker 2: the perspective thing, you know, it could always be worse. 68 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:15,560 Speaker 2: The camaraderie piece, I think is one of the biggest 69 00:04:15,600 --> 00:04:19,600 Speaker 2: aspects of the military, right, the brotherhood that comes with it, 70 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:23,880 Speaker 2: you know, and you know, because you build these really 71 00:04:23,880 --> 00:04:27,760 Speaker 2: really tight bonds based on the job that you're doing. 72 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 2: I felt like I was around some of the greatest 73 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:35,240 Speaker 2: humans ever. During that time. You do become a family. 74 00:04:35,279 --> 00:04:37,839 Speaker 2: I mean, you spend you know, six months to a 75 00:04:37,920 --> 00:04:41,160 Speaker 2: year with these individuals day in and day out, with 76 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:43,840 Speaker 2: no days off, no breaks, that you develop routines and 77 00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,160 Speaker 2: to have a bit of normalcy. You become a family. 78 00:04:55,200 --> 00:04:59,240 Speaker 2: So we had gotten to Afghanistan. It was the end 79 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:02,359 Speaker 2: of March. I was actually a last minute add on 80 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:06,159 Speaker 2: to this trip. So the team had already been prepping 81 00:05:06,320 --> 00:05:08,800 Speaker 2: for this deployment for a month or two. They'd already 82 00:05:08,839 --> 00:05:11,719 Speaker 2: done some other trainings and things of that nature. And 83 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,680 Speaker 2: I wasn't slotted to leave until way later in the year. 84 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,520 Speaker 2: And there was a guy that dropped out of the 85 00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,359 Speaker 2: team and they needed to feel one and I was 86 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:24,080 Speaker 2: the next slotted to go. And you know, would this 87 00:05:24,160 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 2: being my third deployment, and I'd never had this feeling before. 88 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:29,719 Speaker 2: I had this hunch, we're going over with thirteen, but 89 00:05:29,800 --> 00:05:35,880 Speaker 2: twelve are coming home, and you know, in hindsight's always 90 00:05:35,880 --> 00:05:40,000 Speaker 2: twenty twenty, right. But other members of the team, including 91 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,400 Speaker 2: my mom and some other individuals that were closing it 92 00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:46,480 Speaker 2: in the group, they had that same kind of hunch, 93 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,200 Speaker 2: that intuition, that gut feeling, whatever you want to call it, 94 00:05:49,839 --> 00:06:00,480 Speaker 2: that's something was going to happen on this trip. Third, 95 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:05,919 Speaker 2: it started just like most other days. Actually, the missions 96 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:08,679 Speaker 2: that I had slotted for that day were canceled because 97 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:12,839 Speaker 2: the general officer that I was part of their security 98 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,280 Speaker 2: detail that day, they had canceled all their moves. They 99 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 2: were just staying on the compound we were at. So 100 00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 2: essentially I had a day off, and day off in 101 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:28,320 Speaker 2: a deployed location is it's there's nothing to do, you 102 00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:32,039 Speaker 2: know except the mission, right, So play video games, watch 103 00:06:32,080 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 2: a movie, go to the gym, eat some food, watch 104 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,600 Speaker 2: a movie, go to the gym, eat some food. 105 00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:38,200 Speaker 3: You see what I mean. 106 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,680 Speaker 2: Like, that's it, it's it, that's all it is. And 107 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:43,080 Speaker 2: so so it was just, yeah, it was just a 108 00:06:43,120 --> 00:06:46,520 Speaker 2: normal day. And the other general that we were guarding 109 00:06:47,680 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 2: the rest of the team had taken him to the airport, 110 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,280 Speaker 2: which is about an hour convoy away, to drop him 111 00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,800 Speaker 2: off so he could fly out on R and R 112 00:06:55,040 --> 00:06:59,279 Speaker 2: for a couple of weeks. And then they got back 113 00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:03,839 Speaker 2: and to sided the general's exact, the colonel wanted to 114 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:07,000 Speaker 2: go out to this firing range, so we were going 115 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 2: to take him out there. And that's when I got 116 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 2: a phone call like, hey, we got a mission for 117 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 2: you now since you're off, so go with us to 118 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:18,840 Speaker 2: do this. I was actually I was thrilled with it. Well, 119 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,400 Speaker 2: and plus, I mean, Garrett's the one that called me, 120 00:07:21,600 --> 00:07:23,160 Speaker 2: and I was like, sure, man, I'll go out there 121 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:26,400 Speaker 2: with you. That's kosher. Just have a sweet little hang 122 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:30,240 Speaker 2: day at the range, no big deal. And so I 123 00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:34,200 Speaker 2: loaded up in the truck and off we went. So 124 00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 2: like I refer to him as Garrett now because we're 125 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,720 Speaker 2: both out of the military. However, when we were in, 126 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:41,960 Speaker 2: you know, he was Sergeant Night. He's Garrett now because 127 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:45,720 Speaker 2: he's retired, and I always just called him Garrett. Me 128 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:47,880 Speaker 2: and Garrett were roommates. We'd got to know each other 129 00:07:47,920 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 2: really well, developing a tight bond. Me and him had 130 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:54,640 Speaker 2: done the majority of the missions together, so we knew 131 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:57,480 Speaker 2: how each other operated. So it was it was kind 132 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,160 Speaker 2: of like a safe space, right. 133 00:07:59,240 --> 00:07:59,480 Speaker 3: It was. 134 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:01,880 Speaker 2: You know, it's like I got my wingman here, like 135 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 2: I know how he's going to operate. I know what 136 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,440 Speaker 2: he's thinking when we do these missions. I know if 137 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:08,080 Speaker 2: this happens, this is gonna be his move and this 138 00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 2: will be my move. And it was a very yin 139 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:15,360 Speaker 2: and yang kind of thing. So I loaded up and 140 00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 2: jumped in the truck with my truck commander, Gonzo Haimi 141 00:08:19,520 --> 00:08:23,600 Speaker 2: Gonzalez is his name, and he jumps in the truck 142 00:08:23,640 --> 00:08:26,240 Speaker 2: with me. And now also when we did these missions, 143 00:08:26,280 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 2: Gonzo ninety percent of time was my TC for my drives, 144 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:34,760 Speaker 2: so he was the truck commander or TC. So he 145 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:36,640 Speaker 2: was the one that was in the passenger seat, the 146 00:08:36,640 --> 00:08:39,520 Speaker 2: front passenger seat, always my extra set of eyes, right, 147 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:41,720 Speaker 2: So his head's on a swivel, just watching all the 148 00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:44,720 Speaker 2: action the other moving vehicles, the people walk in, just 149 00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 2: to make sure nothing's out of the ordinary, because I'm 150 00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:51,720 Speaker 2: focusing on driving the cars around our vehicles because my 151 00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 2: job in the convoy, I drove the last vehicle and 152 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 2: these convoys, right, they called it the chase truck and 153 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,080 Speaker 2: my job was solely to create a bubble around the 154 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:03,439 Speaker 2: convoy to make sure no cars passed us cut into 155 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:08,319 Speaker 2: the convoy, you know, just to essentially protect the convoy itself. 156 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:11,520 Speaker 2: Use my vehicle as kind of a weapon, if you will, 157 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:15,679 Speaker 2: to create a barrier to keep it safe and keep 158 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 2: it moving. 159 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:21,760 Speaker 3: You know. 160 00:09:21,880 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 2: And during that time in Afghanistan, it was probably one 161 00:09:26,400 --> 00:09:30,319 Speaker 2: of the i would say hottest times in Afghanistan. They 162 00:09:31,120 --> 00:09:32,680 Speaker 2: back then, they said from two thousand and eight to 163 00:09:32,679 --> 00:09:36,840 Speaker 2: twenty ten was some of the toughest years in Afghanistan, 164 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:41,559 Speaker 2: where you were having frequent explosions or IDs or v 165 00:09:41,679 --> 00:09:43,440 Speaker 2: beds is what they call them. It's a vehicle born 166 00:09:43,480 --> 00:09:46,240 Speaker 2: improvised explosive device. It's just an ID, but they put 167 00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:47,840 Speaker 2: it in a vehicle and they crash the vehicle and 168 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 2: then blow up, suicide bombers, gunfights, it's you know, it 169 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,960 Speaker 2: was it was kind of the wild West. We knew 170 00:09:57,960 --> 00:09:59,760 Speaker 2: the route, We knew where we were going. We didn't 171 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,720 Speaker 2: need maps and we didn't need to brief on it 172 00:10:02,840 --> 00:10:05,640 Speaker 2: and do that. We just we knew which way we 173 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,480 Speaker 2: were going. We know the route were taken there. We 174 00:10:07,559 --> 00:10:09,559 Speaker 2: know the different route we're taken back because you never 175 00:10:09,600 --> 00:10:12,079 Speaker 2: take the same route, you know. Because it was again 176 00:10:12,200 --> 00:10:13,719 Speaker 2: me and Garrett, it was very yin and yang. We 177 00:10:13,800 --> 00:10:17,080 Speaker 2: knew already, and so I fell in line with the 178 00:10:17,120 --> 00:10:21,560 Speaker 2: convoy and we took off. Now we turned off on 179 00:10:21,600 --> 00:10:25,679 Speaker 2: this dirt road leading into the gun Range. And I 180 00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 2: remember when we turned off on this dirt road, my 181 00:10:29,280 --> 00:10:32,760 Speaker 2: truck commander, Gonzo, he calls out, hey, watch this white 182 00:10:32,760 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 2: pickup truck. It's coming in pretty fast from behind us. 183 00:10:37,040 --> 00:10:39,920 Speaker 2: And again, my job is to make sure vehicles aren't 184 00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:42,880 Speaker 2: passing the convoy, they're not breaking into our convoy. That 185 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:46,520 Speaker 2: was that was my gig. And right in that moment, 186 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,679 Speaker 2: the lead vehicle called out that we needed to pick 187 00:10:49,760 --> 00:10:52,760 Speaker 2: up our pace because there was this little colvert, little 188 00:10:52,760 --> 00:10:56,720 Speaker 2: bridge that said was a potential spot for an ied 189 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,360 Speaker 2: so we needed to pick up the pace. Well, right 190 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,960 Speaker 2: then that right in that moment, that little white pickup 191 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:05,080 Speaker 2: truck pulled up next to me. It had gotten right 192 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,120 Speaker 2: side by side with me, and I just gave them 193 00:11:08,160 --> 00:11:11,040 Speaker 2: a little nudge to remind them that they don't pass 194 00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 2: the convoy. Well, when I nudged them, they drove off 195 00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:17,720 Speaker 2: the road and ran into this looked like a telephone pole, 196 00:11:19,480 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 2: and at that moment, I'd downshifted the truck to pick 197 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:24,320 Speaker 2: up some speed to get the speed going back on 198 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,680 Speaker 2: the road, and I was turning back on the dirt 199 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:30,760 Speaker 2: road and it was in that moment when the twenty 200 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:43,199 Speaker 2: pound anti tank mine detonated. And that was the last 201 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:45,839 Speaker 2: thing I remember. It was just like someone turned a 202 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:53,439 Speaker 2: light switch off. My lights just went out. There were 203 00:11:53,880 --> 00:11:57,240 Speaker 2: two Taliban members that remotely detonated the twenty pound anti 204 00:11:57,320 --> 00:12:00,319 Speaker 2: tank mine, but by the time the relay got from 205 00:12:00,440 --> 00:12:04,640 Speaker 2: the trigger to the actual ID, it was my truck 206 00:12:04,679 --> 00:12:08,520 Speaker 2: that was hit. It hit right underneath the gearshift of 207 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:12,760 Speaker 2: the truck, which where my right arm was. I stayed 208 00:12:12,760 --> 00:12:15,719 Speaker 2: in the vehicle through the explosion. Once the vehicle came 209 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 2: to a rest, I was. I was knocked out for 210 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,800 Speaker 2: one to two minutes, they said, and then I went 211 00:12:19,920 --> 00:12:23,640 Speaker 2: face first down into this colvert that was nine feet 212 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,600 Speaker 2: I didn't hear anything. I didn't I didn't necessarily feel anything. 213 00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:33,120 Speaker 2: It was just just empty. Just everything just went dark. 214 00:12:36,120 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 2: So at this point when I regained consciousness, I might 215 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 2: have had my eyes open, I might not have, but 216 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:46,599 Speaker 2: I couldn't see anything. I was completely blind. Everything was 217 00:12:46,679 --> 00:12:51,079 Speaker 2: pitch black, but I was, I was conscious. I knew 218 00:12:51,120 --> 00:12:54,320 Speaker 2: something had happened. I didn't know exactly what happened. I 219 00:12:54,400 --> 00:12:56,960 Speaker 2: knew I was in a lot of pain. So at 220 00:12:57,000 --> 00:13:00,559 Speaker 2: this point, I'm trying to assess, well, where I'm at, 221 00:13:00,559 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 2: what's going on, what happened At that time, I didn't 222 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:08,040 Speaker 2: really hear much of anything, and I want to say 223 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:12,440 Speaker 2: that was probably one of those more scary things. I 224 00:13:12,480 --> 00:13:16,679 Speaker 2: did have a radio, but apparently my radio was hitting 225 00:13:16,720 --> 00:13:19,480 Speaker 2: the explosion and it so my mic, they said, was keyed, 226 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,040 Speaker 2: meaning that the button was clicked down, like they could 227 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:25,559 Speaker 2: hear me, you know, breathing, but they couldn't. They didn't 228 00:13:25,559 --> 00:13:27,400 Speaker 2: know anything else. They didn't know how bad it was. 229 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:33,040 Speaker 2: They didn't know. So at this point I tried to 230 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,480 Speaker 2: just continue to assess the situation. Mean, meanwhile, I can't 231 00:13:36,480 --> 00:13:39,559 Speaker 2: see anything. I can't move my right arm there was 232 00:13:39,600 --> 00:13:42,720 Speaker 2: a lot of pain and my right elbow, but I 233 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:45,720 Speaker 2: couldn't move anything on my right side. So I tried 234 00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:49,000 Speaker 2: to take my left hand and you know, get the radio. 235 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,360 Speaker 2: I couldn't get it to work. I tried to get 236 00:13:51,360 --> 00:13:53,000 Speaker 2: my gun out of the whole ster, just in case 237 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:55,240 Speaker 2: I needed to defend myself. I couldn't get the gun 238 00:13:55,280 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 2: out of the holester, you know, and it's and at 239 00:13:58,920 --> 00:14:02,040 Speaker 2: this time, you know, like, okay, what's really going on? 240 00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:03,640 Speaker 2: Like how bad is this? Am I going to be 241 00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:05,840 Speaker 2: able to get out of the situation? But I'm trying 242 00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:07,960 Speaker 2: to stay calm, right. You don't want to go into 243 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,600 Speaker 2: shock because then you'll start bleeding faster. And I knew 244 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:13,080 Speaker 2: I was bleeding. I could taste the blood in my mouth. 245 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:18,679 Speaker 2: And I remembered, you know, before the day before I 246 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:23,680 Speaker 2: left again, going back to that gut feeling, I had 247 00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:25,640 Speaker 2: just had this hunch. Well, I was hanging out with 248 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:27,800 Speaker 2: my daughter, my oldest daughter. She was two and a 249 00:14:27,800 --> 00:14:31,000 Speaker 2: half years old at the time, and I just made 250 00:14:31,040 --> 00:14:33,200 Speaker 2: a promise to her that no matter what happens, Daddy 251 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,960 Speaker 2: would come home. And in that moment, she handed me 252 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,080 Speaker 2: this little flower. And I carried her pictures everywhere with me, 253 00:14:39,200 --> 00:14:41,600 Speaker 2: and I'd taken that flower and I put put it 254 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,920 Speaker 2: behind her pictures and I had it in my pocket 255 00:14:45,520 --> 00:14:47,320 Speaker 2: and that was the only thing that I could grab 256 00:14:47,360 --> 00:14:50,600 Speaker 2: a hold of in that situation where I was laying 257 00:14:50,600 --> 00:14:54,920 Speaker 2: in that ditch, and I remember grabbing that and thinking 258 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,280 Speaker 2: about a promise I made, and I just I would 259 00:14:57,320 --> 00:15:00,760 Speaker 2: not let myself give up. Had to figure out a 260 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,160 Speaker 2: way to just remain calm until someone got back to me, 261 00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:07,080 Speaker 2: because clearly I wasn't gonna get out of there by myself. 262 00:15:09,120 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 2: And it was probably within a minute or two of 263 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:15,040 Speaker 2: that of me just holding onto that flower and just relaxing, 264 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:21,640 Speaker 2: that I heard Garrett's voice and he jumps down the ditch. 265 00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:25,440 Speaker 2: I asked him a very inappropriate question that I thought 266 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,480 Speaker 2: was important. I asked him if my manhood was still 267 00:15:28,480 --> 00:15:31,560 Speaker 2: attached because I couldn't stand up, I couldn't do anything, 268 00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,280 Speaker 2: because I was like, if not do let me die. 269 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:38,000 Speaker 2: He wrote, That's what I told you again, I find 270 00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:41,280 Speaker 2: I find the light. Like even in a situation like 271 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:45,080 Speaker 2: that where I'm at, I had jokes, you know it 272 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:48,960 Speaker 2: just I'd say, I say silly stuff, you know, I 273 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:51,560 Speaker 2: thought it would lighten the tension. But I was also 274 00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 2: half serious about it, you know. And I knew also 275 00:15:56,200 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 2: not just for me to stay calm. I knew if 276 00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,960 Speaker 2: he could sense that, okay, Nick still Nick in there 277 00:16:02,120 --> 00:16:04,920 Speaker 2: despite all this, it could calm him down a little 278 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:07,760 Speaker 2: bit too. And he told me everything was fine and 279 00:16:07,920 --> 00:16:10,800 Speaker 2: he was going to get me bandaged up. And at 280 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:15,000 Speaker 2: that time, you know, we didn't have the medical equipment 281 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,680 Speaker 2: needed for this mission. You know, it was kind of 282 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,840 Speaker 2: an unsanctioned mission, and you know, we didn't have a 283 00:16:20,840 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 2: ton of medical supplies. But Garrett duct taped my nose 284 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:26,800 Speaker 2: back on my face. They put some bandages on because 285 00:16:26,840 --> 00:16:30,200 Speaker 2: my nose was blown off. They bandaged up my arm 286 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 2: and hands. Then there was a few other team members 287 00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:36,840 Speaker 2: that called in for air support for a metavac. They 288 00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,200 Speaker 2: had to pop the smoke so the choppers knew where 289 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:43,560 Speaker 2: to land. They then they loaded me up on this stretcher, 290 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,080 Speaker 2: got me out of the ditch, and I remember when 291 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:48,440 Speaker 2: they loaded me on the black Hawk, I could hear 292 00:16:48,480 --> 00:16:50,560 Speaker 2: him talking to Garrett. I could hear Garrett talking to me. 293 00:16:50,640 --> 00:16:55,640 Speaker 2: I was talking to Garrett muttering stuff, which was crazy 294 00:16:55,680 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 2: because a lot of the bones in my face were 295 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:00,800 Speaker 2: fractured at the time. For me to have those kind 296 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:04,560 Speaker 2: of conversations was humorous to me. But as soon as 297 00:17:04,600 --> 00:17:07,760 Speaker 2: they got me loaded on the black Hawk, I remember 298 00:17:08,440 --> 00:17:10,760 Speaker 2: just the black Hawk taking off and my head was 299 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:13,000 Speaker 2: kind of by the door that was open, and I 300 00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:15,119 Speaker 2: could feel the wind blowing in my hair, and it 301 00:17:15,160 --> 00:17:17,239 Speaker 2: was in that moment I just felt a sense of 302 00:17:17,359 --> 00:17:22,240 Speaker 2: calm and peace, like everything was going to be okay. 303 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:26,760 Speaker 2: They kept me heavily sedated. They transported me to the 304 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:31,720 Speaker 2: nearest major base, which was a bogger marefield in Afghanistan. 305 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:34,920 Speaker 2: Garrett stayed on the chopper with us. He stayed with 306 00:17:34,960 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 2: me by the bedside. I underwent an extensive surgery, drama 307 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:44,880 Speaker 2: surgery in order for them to transport me to Germany, 308 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:50,120 Speaker 2: to launch till Germany, because typically when someone suffers those 309 00:17:50,160 --> 00:17:52,800 Speaker 2: types of injuries, that's where they send them to Germany. 310 00:17:52,840 --> 00:17:54,800 Speaker 2: They get to Germany, they'll spend a couple of weeks there, 311 00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:56,800 Speaker 2: and then they send them back home, either to Walter 312 00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:09,240 Speaker 2: Reed or Brooks Medical or you know somewhere. You know. Yeah, 313 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,639 Speaker 2: while while I was in that ditch, during during that 314 00:18:11,680 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 2: time frame, that ten minutes of just dead silence, you know, 315 00:18:18,359 --> 00:18:22,199 Speaker 2: I was I was a little scared, you know, quite frankly, 316 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:27,639 Speaker 2: I was worried because you know, one you're kind of alone, 317 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,880 Speaker 2: and there, to me, I think there's no worse feeling 318 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:36,160 Speaker 2: than feeling alone in any situation. And when when Garrett 319 00:18:36,200 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 2: made it back to me and I heard the sound 320 00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:41,639 Speaker 2: of his voice, I felt safe. I had I had 321 00:18:41,640 --> 00:18:44,800 Speaker 2: a sense of calming that ran over me because I 322 00:18:44,880 --> 00:18:47,439 Speaker 2: knew I had back up at that moment that I 323 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:56,960 Speaker 2: wasn't alone anymore. But there were time, there were periods 324 00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:00,720 Speaker 2: during that ten minutes that I did I did think 325 00:19:00,760 --> 00:19:03,800 Speaker 2: that that's where staff starting Nick Bradley's story was going 326 00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:07,639 Speaker 2: to end. But but again going back and trying to 327 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:11,080 Speaker 2: remember that promise and that little girl's face, you know, 328 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,320 Speaker 2: my daughter's face had just I think it was just 329 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 2: it was enough to keep me focused on the task 330 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:22,560 Speaker 2: at hand, to not just just let that beat me. 331 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,800 Speaker 2: I didn't. I didn't know what had happened to Gonzo 332 00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:38,840 Speaker 2: until a couple weeks later, while I was in Walter 333 00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:42,040 Speaker 2: Reid because I had been in a medically induced coma, 334 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:45,760 Speaker 2: they were able to inform me that he didn't make 335 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:52,359 Speaker 2: it out of the explosion. He was he was killed 336 00:19:52,359 --> 00:19:59,240 Speaker 2: on impact as soon as the bomb went off. And yeah, 337 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,760 Speaker 2: so that was pretty tough for them to tell me. 338 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:12,600 Speaker 2: It's pretty tough to take, you know. Well, there's a 339 00:20:12,640 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 2: couple of things really, because after they told me all 340 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:16,920 Speaker 2: this stuff, they told me that they were having trouble 341 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:18,960 Speaker 2: getting the nerves of my legs to respond, that I 342 00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:22,440 Speaker 2: might not walk, that they anticipated eighteen months of recovery 343 00:20:22,520 --> 00:20:24,240 Speaker 2: is you know, this is they're waking me up, telling 344 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:26,240 Speaker 2: me all this stuff that still had to go through 345 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:29,320 Speaker 2: multiple more surgeries, like all these things, and it was 346 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:33,439 Speaker 2: kind of crushing, you know. And you know in that moment, 347 00:20:33,600 --> 00:20:35,800 Speaker 2: it's you're still just trying to figure out how you 348 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:40,480 Speaker 2: survived and you know what's really going on. And I did. 349 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,720 Speaker 2: I spent probably a day in just a dark place. 350 00:20:44,040 --> 00:20:45,479 Speaker 2: I didn't want to talk to anybody, I didn't want 351 00:20:45,480 --> 00:20:47,960 Speaker 2: see anybody. I just I went kind of dark. 352 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:48,320 Speaker 4: You know. 353 00:20:48,359 --> 00:20:50,359 Speaker 2: It was a really heavy day. Like I just found 354 00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:56,960 Speaker 2: out what happened. I found out about Gonzo. Right, So 355 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,920 Speaker 2: it's tough, right, it was tough to process all that stuff. Man. 356 00:21:01,960 --> 00:21:05,200 Speaker 2: Well that's what I did. I took a picture of 357 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:08,040 Speaker 2: my daughter and I taped it next to my bed. 358 00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:17,600 Speaker 2: It's a beautiful thing, man, it really is. I don't 359 00:21:17,680 --> 00:21:24,240 Speaker 2: get talked about it much. I taped this picture of 360 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:27,080 Speaker 2: my daughter next to the bed, right, and I just 361 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:30,040 Speaker 2: I just told myself every day, I'm gonna do something 362 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:33,479 Speaker 2: better today than I did yesterday. Because that day that 363 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,560 Speaker 2: I was also kind of in the dumps. 364 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:35,960 Speaker 3: I had. 365 00:21:36,160 --> 00:21:38,400 Speaker 2: I had physical therapy that day and I couldn't set 366 00:21:38,440 --> 00:21:40,639 Speaker 2: up in a bed by myself. Right, These two nurses 367 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:42,560 Speaker 2: actually had to physically pick me up and set me 368 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,200 Speaker 2: up on the bed, and they wanted me to scoot 369 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,199 Speaker 2: to the edge of the bed, which I couldn't do. 370 00:21:47,320 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 2: They had to help me and all the things. And so, 371 00:21:50,640 --> 00:21:52,639 Speaker 2: you know, that was very defeating for me, because you know, 372 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,359 Speaker 2: I went from being in really good shape to I 373 00:21:55,359 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 2: can't sit up in a bed by myself. So the 374 00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 2: next morning I woke up and I set up in 375 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:01,840 Speaker 2: the and I scooted it to the edge of the bed. 376 00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:04,960 Speaker 2: It took me a while, and it was a lot 377 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:07,760 Speaker 2: of pain. It was really painful, but I did it. 378 00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,120 Speaker 2: And right about the time I got to the edge 379 00:22:11,119 --> 00:22:13,520 Speaker 2: of the bed, the therapist had come into the room 380 00:22:13,560 --> 00:22:16,560 Speaker 2: to do physical therapy that morning and they were floored 381 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,600 Speaker 2: that I had made it up in the bed. And 382 00:22:19,680 --> 00:22:22,200 Speaker 2: so after that, I knew there wasn't going to be 383 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 2: a lot to stop me, and I just I kept 384 00:22:24,600 --> 00:22:27,359 Speaker 2: telling myself, no matter how bad I think this is, 385 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:32,520 Speaker 2: it could be worse, you know, right, because I survived 386 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:37,840 Speaker 2: and Gonzo didn't, Right, it could be worse, and you know, 387 00:22:39,080 --> 00:22:43,520 Speaker 2: and it I think that really started transforming my take 388 00:22:43,560 --> 00:22:47,199 Speaker 2: on it my mental state, right is kind of just 389 00:22:47,240 --> 00:22:50,399 Speaker 2: looking at things as a glass half full, right, to 390 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,480 Speaker 2: just get better and just to push myself a little 391 00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,479 Speaker 2: bit more every day, no matter how painful it is. 392 00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 2: Just find the bright side of it. And I'm going 393 00:22:57,800 --> 00:22:59,680 Speaker 2: to do better, and I'm gonna do better. And I'm 394 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,000 Speaker 2: like plain about these things because I get the opportunity 395 00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:09,560 Speaker 2: to still do these things, you know, because it's all perspective. 396 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,640 Speaker 2: I just think, you know, going through any kind of hardships, 397 00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,120 Speaker 2: if you're gonna mentally beat them, you have to learn 398 00:23:16,400 --> 00:23:21,160 Speaker 2: how to change your mindset to have that outlook, because 399 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,840 Speaker 2: otherwise it's real easy just to get bogged down in 400 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:32,480 Speaker 2: the part that sucks. Yeah, you know, rediscovering a sense 401 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:34,960 Speaker 2: of purpose through all this is it's, you know, your 402 00:23:35,160 --> 00:23:37,960 Speaker 2: strongest when you're the most vulnerable, right, And I think 403 00:23:38,000 --> 00:23:41,920 Speaker 2: when a human loses a sense of purpose, they become 404 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:46,080 Speaker 2: very vulnerable, right. And I was. I felt lost for 405 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,000 Speaker 2: a little while just trying to figure out, you know, 406 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:52,560 Speaker 2: a path because I found myself kind of kind of 407 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:55,800 Speaker 2: alone and you know, just kind of walking through my 408 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:58,879 Speaker 2: journey and figuring out, Okay, this is who I am, Now, 409 00:23:59,440 --> 00:24:01,440 Speaker 2: what do I want to do? You know, what kind 410 00:24:01,440 --> 00:24:04,880 Speaker 2: of relationships do I want to have. It's helped me grow, 411 00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:08,240 Speaker 2: It's helped me to be more confident in the person 412 00:24:08,280 --> 00:24:11,440 Speaker 2: that I am, you know, because I've learned things that, Okay, 413 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:13,240 Speaker 2: I don't like that, but I really enjoyed that. I 414 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,119 Speaker 2: didn't think I would like that. I still have the 415 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:18,679 Speaker 2: ability to serve people, and I just I feel like 416 00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:26,240 Speaker 2: that's such a great mission for me. You know, looking 417 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:28,920 Speaker 2: back on this, I wouldn't I wouldn't change a thing, 418 00:24:29,359 --> 00:24:32,679 Speaker 2: not a not a single thing, because I don't think 419 00:24:33,400 --> 00:24:36,760 Speaker 2: I'm the same person now that I would have been 420 00:24:36,920 --> 00:24:40,600 Speaker 2: had it not happened, right, I think it made me 421 00:24:41,440 --> 00:24:45,880 Speaker 2: better and stronger and a lot of different aspects. And 422 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:50,400 Speaker 2: I'm grateful for the experiences I've had. I'm grateful for, 423 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:55,520 Speaker 2: you know, getting to learn this much about myself, to 424 00:24:55,600 --> 00:25:02,040 Speaker 2: dig deep and really evaluate myself right, Because you can't 425 00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,240 Speaker 2: reach your full potential until you've been at the bottom, right, 426 00:25:05,400 --> 00:25:07,760 Speaker 2: and you can't climb to the heights that you're meant 427 00:25:07,760 --> 00:25:10,120 Speaker 2: to go until you start. You got to start somewhere, 428 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:13,680 Speaker 2: you know, And I think this gave me the opportunity 429 00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,520 Speaker 2: to start from the bottom, right. And if you can 430 00:25:17,520 --> 00:25:21,800 Speaker 2: find the positive. In any situation you're in, you're gonna 431 00:25:21,800 --> 00:25:23,840 Speaker 2: have a positive attitude. You're gonna become a positive person. 432 00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:26,159 Speaker 2: And with that positive attitude, there's nothing you won't be 433 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:29,680 Speaker 2: able to overcome. Nothing, I mean, any olts go in 434 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,240 Speaker 2: front of you, You're gonna find a way over it. 435 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:34,919 Speaker 2: And so I would just it gets better. You know, 436 00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,280 Speaker 2: it might get worse before it gets better, but it 437 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:40,159 Speaker 2: gets better even in the bad. And it's if you 438 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:43,240 Speaker 2: keep that mindset about it. You have to tell yourself 439 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,280 Speaker 2: that it's it will get better because it could be worse. 440 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:48,520 Speaker 2: It could always be worse. 441 00:26:07,080 --> 00:26:09,399 Speaker 1: Welcome back, This is a Live again joining me for 442 00:26:09,440 --> 00:26:12,440 Speaker 1: a conversation about today's story. Are my other Alive Against 443 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:16,960 Speaker 1: story producers Lauren Vogelbaum, Nicholas Dakowski, and Brent Dye, And 444 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:21,160 Speaker 1: I'm your host, Dan Bush. All right, we have Lauren Vogelbaumb, 445 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:24,960 Speaker 1: Nick Takoski, Brent Die and myself Dan Bush. And so 446 00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:28,720 Speaker 1: talking about Staff Sergeant Nicholas Bradley. So he became my 447 00:26:28,800 --> 00:26:31,560 Speaker 1: instant best friend and like he would crack jokes through 448 00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:33,879 Speaker 1: text that I hardly understood. But then I'll look at 449 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,040 Speaker 1: him twice and start laughing. My ass off, because he's 450 00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:36,560 Speaker 1: actually a. 451 00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,720 Speaker 5: Really funny guy, and like he keeps saying throughout the show, 452 00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:40,000 Speaker 5: he's like, I'm just a big kid. 453 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:41,120 Speaker 3: I'm just a big kid. 454 00:26:41,160 --> 00:26:43,919 Speaker 5: And other than this being a story of survival and 455 00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,240 Speaker 5: endurance and obviously resilience, you know, getting blown up by 456 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:51,040 Speaker 5: an ied in Afghanistan and then having the will to 457 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,199 Speaker 5: survive and to go through everything he went through to 458 00:26:53,240 --> 00:26:56,440 Speaker 5: get back on his feet after that, and surviving the 459 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:59,040 Speaker 5: loss of his friend Gonzo, who died in the truck, 460 00:26:59,320 --> 00:27:01,199 Speaker 5: and he made it up out and it wasn't this 461 00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 5: sort of macho attitude that helped him to survive or 462 00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,720 Speaker 5: helped him make it through that. It was his vulnerability 463 00:27:07,359 --> 00:27:09,399 Speaker 5: rather that helped him make it through that. And we 464 00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:11,440 Speaker 5: got to a point in our conversation where he was saying, 465 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:15,439 Speaker 5: we're the strongest one, We're most vulnerable. And what was 466 00:27:15,440 --> 00:27:18,639 Speaker 5: interesting about the interview was ironically that's when he really 467 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:21,120 Speaker 5: when he was most vulnerable. During the interview, that's when 468 00:27:21,320 --> 00:27:22,800 Speaker 5: we got to know him and we got to hear 469 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,600 Speaker 5: his feelings about his daughter and his feelings about Gonzo. 470 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:30,600 Speaker 6: Well, I think what really struck me about Nick's story 471 00:27:30,680 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 6: is how similar it is to my story. I grew 472 00:27:32,600 --> 00:27:35,920 Speaker 6: up in a small town population twelve hundred people, and 473 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,119 Speaker 6: even the way he described like seeing the stars at 474 00:27:38,200 --> 00:27:42,160 Speaker 6: night and the optimism that that gave him and kind 475 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:45,200 Speaker 6: of the sense that things could always be worse. I'm 476 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:47,600 Speaker 6: I mean, I kind of always had that same I 477 00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,200 Speaker 6: think it's just kind of a Midwestern sort of way 478 00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:52,280 Speaker 6: of thinking, well, you know, things could be worse, so 479 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:56,240 Speaker 6: you know, let's just keep plugging along. And just like Nick, 480 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:58,879 Speaker 6: my dad was like, you've got to do something to 481 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:00,480 Speaker 6: want you to go to the military, you know, And 482 00:28:00,520 --> 00:28:01,840 Speaker 6: I think that a lot of guys who are in 483 00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:04,359 Speaker 6: the military are big kids who like to joke around, 484 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:09,320 Speaker 6: and they get into the military to expand their horizon 485 00:28:09,359 --> 00:28:11,440 Speaker 6: and go somewhere else. You know, That's what I did. 486 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 6: And you know, just his sense of humor, like saying, 487 00:28:15,160 --> 00:28:18,119 Speaker 6: is my manhood still attached after being I mean, I 488 00:28:18,160 --> 00:28:19,920 Speaker 6: would hope that I have the presence of mind to 489 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:21,800 Speaker 6: crack a joke like that in that moment, because I 490 00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:23,920 Speaker 6: think what he was trying to accomplish with that was 491 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:29,960 Speaker 6: I think everything he described, like building that camaraderie, letting 492 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:33,840 Speaker 6: everyone know that he's still here under this wound. I mean, 493 00:28:33,880 --> 00:28:36,600 Speaker 6: his freaking nose is blown off his face, you. 494 00:28:36,560 --> 00:28:37,040 Speaker 1: Know, he. 495 00:28:40,680 --> 00:28:42,480 Speaker 6: And there's still a human being under here. 496 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:42,840 Speaker 3: I'm not. 497 00:28:43,320 --> 00:28:46,200 Speaker 5: Yeah, But it wasn't like he didn't soldier up to 498 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:49,160 Speaker 5: make it through this, to sit up on the bed. 499 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:50,800 Speaker 3: Was it was this picture of his. 500 00:28:50,840 --> 00:28:53,880 Speaker 7: Daughter, but and the pressed flower that he kept in 501 00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:54,400 Speaker 7: his wallet. 502 00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:57,040 Speaker 6: But I think most guys that I served with would 503 00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:00,600 Speaker 6: be motivated by the things he described. They'd be motivated 504 00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:03,640 Speaker 6: by their friendship and their desire to reconnect with their daughter. 505 00:29:03,880 --> 00:29:05,800 Speaker 6: And you know, I think we have this image of 506 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:09,280 Speaker 6: from watching war movies that everybody's some jar head running 507 00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:11,400 Speaker 6: over the hill with a gun. Most of our guys 508 00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:13,400 Speaker 6: who are just trying to get out of their small town, 509 00:29:13,440 --> 00:29:16,160 Speaker 6: maybe get some money for college. And I was when 510 00:29:16,160 --> 00:29:17,960 Speaker 6: I joined the military. I was like, please, you know, 511 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,240 Speaker 6: there's a lot of guys who are like, I hope 512 00:29:19,240 --> 00:29:22,040 Speaker 6: I see some action while I'm here, and I'm like, please, no, 513 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,400 Speaker 6: I don't. I just want to get my gi bill 514 00:29:24,600 --> 00:29:25,320 Speaker 6: and go. 515 00:29:25,680 --> 00:29:25,880 Speaker 8: You know. 516 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,479 Speaker 7: But the humor is also what really struck me. And 517 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,760 Speaker 7: I think that that is such a human element and 518 00:29:30,760 --> 00:29:33,800 Speaker 7: such an important element to trying to cope with anything. 519 00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,080 Speaker 7: I know that that's a major coping mechanism for me, 520 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:40,080 Speaker 7: sometimes to a negative level. But you know, like in 521 00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,520 Speaker 7: this world, when we're going through it and you're dealing 522 00:29:43,560 --> 00:29:47,120 Speaker 7: with such heavy stuff, I think we have to get weirder. 523 00:29:47,280 --> 00:29:50,040 Speaker 7: I think our humor like like like comic relief. Yeah, 524 00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,560 Speaker 7: like we need to be irrepressible. 525 00:29:51,920 --> 00:29:54,680 Speaker 8: Yeah, I know when I'm in trouble because I can't 526 00:29:54,720 --> 00:29:59,200 Speaker 8: stop making jokes, I think you're on fire to I'm 527 00:29:59,240 --> 00:30:02,560 Speaker 8: like a single tear running down my shoes. 528 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,280 Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean, like the the you know, the 529 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:06,880 Speaker 2: daughter thing really. 530 00:30:06,640 --> 00:30:10,200 Speaker 9: Did that hit me right in the in the chest 531 00:30:10,240 --> 00:30:15,760 Speaker 9: of course. And I think, to kind of add on 532 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:18,880 Speaker 9: to Brent's thing here, it's you know, uh, it's more 533 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:21,400 Speaker 9: than just a common experience in the military. I think 534 00:30:21,400 --> 00:30:26,720 Speaker 9: it's a common experience across humankind to like to try 535 00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:31,680 Speaker 9: to rally and rally the people around you using whatever 536 00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:34,200 Speaker 9: forces you have, and sometimes humor is all you got 537 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:37,880 Speaker 9: if you're lying there bleeding making a joke about. 538 00:30:37,680 --> 00:30:38,320 Speaker 8: Like you know. 539 00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:47,000 Speaker 5: And then he didn't say manhood either nearly No, well 540 00:30:48,440 --> 00:30:52,880 Speaker 5: either way, I walked away from next story. I don't know, 541 00:30:52,920 --> 00:30:56,880 Speaker 5: looking around, going okay, would I have that hood spot? 542 00:30:56,960 --> 00:30:57,240 Speaker 3: What? You know? 543 00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:59,280 Speaker 5: If I had, if I got blown up by an ID, 544 00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,720 Speaker 5: what things would I draw on for myself to get through? 545 00:31:03,040 --> 00:31:06,360 Speaker 3: Would I find humor? You know what? Where would any 546 00:31:06,360 --> 00:31:09,920 Speaker 3: resilience come from? It's it's a all of these stories 547 00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:10,320 Speaker 3: are that way. 548 00:31:10,360 --> 00:31:12,360 Speaker 6: But it's just like kudict to you man, the part 549 00:31:12,360 --> 00:31:14,000 Speaker 6: where he talks about his daughter. I mean, I was 550 00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:16,800 Speaker 6: almost in tears. Like when I used to fly a 551 00:31:16,800 --> 00:31:19,440 Speaker 6: lot for work. You know, I'm a videographer, and I'd 552 00:31:19,480 --> 00:31:21,960 Speaker 6: take my camera gear and go different cities, and every 553 00:31:21,960 --> 00:31:23,920 Speaker 6: time I left my baby is like if my plane 554 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,520 Speaker 6: crashes or something, you know, this might be the last 555 00:31:26,560 --> 00:31:28,200 Speaker 6: time I see my wife, the last time I see 556 00:31:28,200 --> 00:31:30,040 Speaker 6: my daughter. And then when my daughter was a little 557 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,080 Speaker 6: bit older, she'd always make artwork that could hang in 558 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:35,000 Speaker 6: my hotel room. And I'm just thinking, oh my god, 559 00:31:35,040 --> 00:31:37,440 Speaker 6: to just be lying there with your legs blown off 560 00:31:37,480 --> 00:31:39,360 Speaker 6: and your nose blown off and you have this little 561 00:31:39,360 --> 00:31:42,040 Speaker 6: flower that your daughter had given you. I mean that 562 00:31:42,120 --> 00:31:46,200 Speaker 6: had me right here, you know, and like, yeah, I 563 00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:51,520 Speaker 6: just think that that inciting moment that you know, yes, 564 00:31:51,560 --> 00:31:53,440 Speaker 6: there's a reason to pull through this. I've got to 565 00:31:53,480 --> 00:31:55,920 Speaker 6: get there for my daughter. But he describes that feeling 566 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:59,000 Speaker 6: of being alone. Like, imagine that your truck just got 567 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:02,080 Speaker 6: hit by a ie. You don't know if the rest 568 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:06,560 Speaker 6: of your crew is even alive. You're susceptible to enemy fire. 569 00:32:06,640 --> 00:32:08,760 Speaker 6: You're lying there and you could get shot at it, 570 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:12,400 Speaker 6: and you're blind and you're blind. You can't move and 571 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:15,400 Speaker 6: you don't hear anything for ten minutes, and you're holding 572 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,440 Speaker 6: this flower that your daughter gave you. Just like all 573 00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:21,320 Speaker 6: quite in the Western Front or something, and they had 574 00:32:21,320 --> 00:32:25,680 Speaker 6: these premonitions that somebody was gonna die on this mission. 575 00:32:26,080 --> 00:32:28,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, that one person wouldn't return. 576 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:32,760 Speaker 6: And one person didn't his friend Gonzo. You know, like, wow, 577 00:32:33,600 --> 00:32:34,240 Speaker 6: that's crazy. 578 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:34,600 Speaker 4: Yeah. 579 00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:37,680 Speaker 5: The premonitions aspect of a lot of these stories is 580 00:32:37,960 --> 00:32:39,080 Speaker 5: it's recurring as well. 581 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,920 Speaker 3: I keep hearing that again and again in these stories. Is 582 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:42,560 Speaker 3: the quality of. 583 00:32:42,560 --> 00:32:44,720 Speaker 5: A premonition of like, you know, even if it's just 584 00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:49,280 Speaker 5: had a bad feeling, you know, in retrospect, you know, it's. 585 00:32:49,000 --> 00:32:51,720 Speaker 7: The human mind is really willing to try to make 586 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:57,080 Speaker 7: sense of things. And whether or not that's real, Like 587 00:32:57,120 --> 00:32:59,640 Speaker 7: whether or not you could like scientifically pin that down, 588 00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,120 Speaker 7: it doesn't matter because at the end of the day, 589 00:33:02,240 --> 00:33:05,760 Speaker 7: it's what that is, the experience that you had and 590 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:08,760 Speaker 7: so even if it's just your weird meat machinery doing something. 591 00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:10,560 Speaker 3: Up there, it's it's not part of your narrative. 592 00:33:10,640 --> 00:33:11,160 Speaker 2: It's still real. 593 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:11,960 Speaker 3: Yeah. 594 00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:16,160 Speaker 6: Well, another thing in his story, which kind of plays 595 00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:19,240 Speaker 6: out in a lot of ours, is just the need 596 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:23,640 Speaker 6: to take it your recovery day by day. Take that, 597 00:33:24,200 --> 00:33:28,200 Speaker 6: you know, like how you have to set these goals 598 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:31,160 Speaker 6: and just graduate rather than the enormity of your situation. 599 00:33:31,280 --> 00:33:33,440 Speaker 6: It's just like, I've got to recover slowly. 600 00:33:33,720 --> 00:33:35,960 Speaker 5: That's that's a good takeaway. The only way to get 601 00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:37,520 Speaker 5: through this stuff is to take it one step at 602 00:33:37,520 --> 00:33:39,480 Speaker 5: a time. It's the only to break these huge problems 603 00:33:39,480 --> 00:33:41,040 Speaker 5: into smaller pieces is the only. 604 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:42,480 Speaker 3: Way to get through it. 605 00:33:42,600 --> 00:33:46,040 Speaker 1: Well, thanks guys, I really appreciate you all being here. 606 00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:49,200 Speaker 1: And Reema, thank you for recording with us today. And 607 00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,680 Speaker 1: but now thank you everybody. I really appreciate it. 608 00:33:51,680 --> 00:33:53,440 Speaker 7: Thank you for wrangling figure. 609 00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:57,200 Speaker 1: Next time on a Live Again, we have a special 610 00:33:57,240 --> 00:34:01,520 Speaker 1: conversation with doctor Sarah Kerr, a death and ritual healing 611 00:34:01,600 --> 00:34:05,360 Speaker 1: practitioner who helps individuals and families navigate the journey of 612 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:08,239 Speaker 1: dying with grace and meaning, honor and. 613 00:34:08,239 --> 00:34:12,719 Speaker 4: Validate your own experiences. The nudges and the intuitions and 614 00:34:12,760 --> 00:34:18,400 Speaker 4: the quiet impulses, that capacity to open our consciousness to 615 00:34:18,480 --> 00:34:20,920 Speaker 4: something more than just what's in that western box. 616 00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:23,080 Speaker 6: So often we're told that those. 617 00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:25,080 Speaker 4: Aren't real, they don't matter, they should be ignored. 618 00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:26,760 Speaker 2: You just making it up, your imagining things. 619 00:34:26,920 --> 00:34:27,200 Speaker 5: You're not. 620 00:34:28,440 --> 00:34:31,759 Speaker 1: Doctor Kerr shares how ritual and sacred death care can 621 00:34:31,800 --> 00:34:36,520 Speaker 1: transform our relationship with loss, grief, and mysteries. 622 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:37,839 Speaker 3: Of what comes next. Don't miss this. 623 00:34:37,840 --> 00:34:41,760 Speaker 1: Profound discussion on embracing death as a natural and sacred 624 00:34:41,800 --> 00:34:48,200 Speaker 1: part of life. Our story producers are Dan Bush, Kate Sweeney, 625 00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:53,560 Speaker 1: Brent die, Nicholas Dukowski, and Lauren Vogelbaum. Music by Ben Lovett, 626 00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:57,720 Speaker 1: additional music by Alexander Rodriguez. Our executive producers are Matthew 627 00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:01,000 Speaker 1: Frederick and Trevor Young. Special things to Alexander Williams for 628 00:35:01,040 --> 00:35:04,880 Speaker 1: additional production support. Our studio engineers are Rima L. K 629 00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:08,640 Speaker 1: Ali and Nomes Griffin. Today's episode was edited by Mike 630 00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:12,400 Speaker 1: w Anderson, mixing by Ben Lovett and Alexander Rodriguez. 631 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:15,000 Speaker 3: I'm your host Dan Bush. 632 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:18,240 Speaker 1: Special thanks to Nick Bradley for sharing his incredible story. 633 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,760 Speaker 1: Alive Again is a production of iHeartRadio and Psychopia pictures. 634 00:35:23,320 --> 00:35:24,000 Speaker 3: If you have a. 635 00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:27,000 Speaker 5: Transformative near death experience to share, we'd love to hear 636 00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:27,520 Speaker 5: your story. 637 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:32,800 Speaker 1: Please email us at Alive Again Project at gmail dot com. 638 00:35:32,920 --> 00:35:36,120 Speaker 5: That's a l i v e A g A I 639 00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:40,280 Speaker 5: N P R O j e c T at gmail 640 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:50,239 Speaker 5: dot com.