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Speaker 1: Jubils dirty little secret. Today's dirty little secret will make

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Speaker 1: your piece mouth funny. Oh yeah, yes, yes, asparagus is

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Speaker 1: on the phone. Remember, we give everybody a fake anonymous nicknames.

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Speaker 1: You want to tellus a dirty little secret, all I

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Speaker 1: have to do is text in four one six one.

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Speaker 1: You can tell us anything. We keep everybody anonymous. We

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Speaker 1: don't even ask what your name is. That's why you

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Speaker 1: get a fake name when you call in. And Alex

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Speaker 1: knew exactly where I was going with that. Asparagus is

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Speaker 1: on the phone. Hello, asparagus. Hey, this is asparagus. All right.

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Speaker 1: You're delicious, by the way. Yeah, i'd like to point

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Speaker 1: that out. Thanks, Except if I forget that I eat

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Speaker 1: you and I wake up in the morning to go

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Speaker 1: to the bathroom, I'm like, oh my god, what's wrong

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Speaker 1: with me? He made a good problem. And I'm like,

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Speaker 1: oh wait, oh good, I just ad asparagus last nime.

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Speaker 1: All right, So you have a dirty little secret you'd

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Speaker 1: like to tell us about asparagus? Yeah, So my dirty

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Speaker 1: little secret is that I have an odd kind of collection.

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Speaker 1: So when I was in high school, we had health

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Speaker 1: class and they gave out free condoms to all the students. Nice,

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Speaker 1: and I held on to that one. Yeah, it was

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Speaker 1: like great, I might have to use this, and so

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Speaker 1: I like put it in a box. And then I

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Speaker 1: kept collecting different kinds of condoms everywhere I went, Like

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Speaker 1: if I went to the drug store, I'd be like, well,

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Speaker 1: maybe I'll just pick up theeves. So yeah, and you

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Speaker 1: go through the condom aisle in the grocery store or wherever,

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Speaker 1: and you're just like, oh that and you have a

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Speaker 1: collection all. I got to think about that one yet.

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Speaker 1: Remember like when your teens you can go to the

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Speaker 1: walking clinic and you get free condoms, like on the

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Speaker 1: counter there's all of them. Yeah, did you steal all those? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Basically like anyone that I hadn't had before I took.

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Speaker 1: Or like you know, in a like a bar, if

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Speaker 1: you go into the bathroom and there's like maybe weird

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Speaker 1: ones you know, rabbed Her Her Pleasure or for those

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Speaker 1: weird brands that you've never heard of. Yeah, yeah, where

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Speaker 1: you're like knocker brand condoms and I've never heard of them.

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Speaker 1: What's your best one, the one that you're most proud

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Speaker 1: of in your collection? Um, the one that's my favorite

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Speaker 1: Actually when you unroll it, it says your name here

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Speaker 1: on it. Wow, that's incredible. So you have a big

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Speaker 1: collection of really random condoms. Uh, yeah, that's true. It's

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Speaker 1: a pretty big collection. But that's uh, that's not actually

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Speaker 1: my dirtiest little secret even want to know. Yeah, what

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Speaker 1: did you do with these? Gods? Well, the problem is

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Speaker 1: that I didn't do anything with it. My collection is

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Speaker 1: so big because I actually still a virgin. You've never

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Speaker 1: even used one at all before, other than maybe probably

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Speaker 1: blown them up in pop Yeah, yeah, I've they've I'm

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Speaker 1: half of them have expired at this point. Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: keep collecting. I think that's an amazing collection. Yeah, I mean,

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Speaker 1: as a conversation starter, it's a weird one. But maybe

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Speaker 1: it'll work one day. Maybe. I'd hate to say this too, asparagus,

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Speaker 1: But you sound like, you know, relatively mature in terms

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Speaker 1: of age. How has it just not never happened or

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Speaker 1: you know what's been the problem? Yeah, I don't. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I can never seem to like get over

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Speaker 1: the friendship hump, and I like what you did there

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Speaker 1: and when that does happen. Um, you know a lot

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Speaker 1: about protection, right, because you've been collecting it since you

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Speaker 1: were very young. And have all kinds of different ones.

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Speaker 1: Have you heard of the Trojan extended pleasure ones? Who? Yes,

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Speaker 1: I have like a numbing thing in it. So that,

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Speaker 1: oh so you can, you can last last so a

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Speaker 1: little bit longer, longer, longer than second. Yeah, they make

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Speaker 1: a spray too, so spray so that oh my god,

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Speaker 1: yeah so that you yeah, so that you don't see

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Speaker 1: the last longer. But it's not good though. I bet

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Speaker 1: that's not good for you. No, I mean it's not

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Speaker 1: good as far as how it makes you feel. Because

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Speaker 1: it sounds like a good idea, like, oh, this could

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Speaker 1: help out, you know, I could maybe last a little

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Speaker 1: bit longer than a TV commercial maybe, right, But then

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Speaker 1: you use it and then nothing works, because it's like

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Speaker 1: if you know, if you go to the dentist, right

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Speaker 1: and you shot a novacane. Oh yeah, it feels like

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Speaker 1: that party you went to the dentist and it just

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Speaker 1: will not work. Oh okay, don't get the spray. Just kidding.

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Speaker 1: Yeah then all right, Well, thank you for your dirty

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Speaker 1: little secret. Yeah, thanks guys, what's your dirty little secret,