1 00:00:04,440 --> 00:00:07,040 Speaker 1: Hey guys, and welcome to this week's episode of Let's 2 00:00:07,040 --> 00:00:09,280 Speaker 1: Be Real Podcast. As always, my name is Sammy J. 3 00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:13,400 Speaker 1: And this week's episode is with mental health advocate, activists, 4 00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 1: and former D one athlete Victoria Garrett. When Victoria was 5 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:19,119 Speaker 1: in college, she actually gave a TED talk called The 6 00:00:19,200 --> 00:00:22,480 Speaker 1: Hidden Opponent, which really talks about the mental health challenges 7 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,760 Speaker 1: athletes face, and she turned it into a nonprofit called 8 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:29,040 Speaker 1: The Hidden Opponent, talking about this in raising awareness. That 9 00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,320 Speaker 1: organization is now featured in Kobe Bryant and Eva Clark's 10 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:35,520 Speaker 1: book Geese Are Never Swans. So we talked about the book. 11 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: We talk about her nonprofit, what it's like being a 12 00:00:38,760 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 1: student athlete, and how you can make an impact. I 13 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:48,000 Speaker 1: hope you enjoy Victoria, Bye, how are you? I am good. 14 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:50,000 Speaker 1: I am so excited to you have you on my 15 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: podcast for so many reasons, not only because we have 16 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:55,720 Speaker 1: a lot to talk about, but also both of our 17 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: podcasts have the word real on a real pod Let's 18 00:00:58,920 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 1: Be Real. I think it's fitting. I know I noticed that, 19 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:05,400 Speaker 1: and I was just like, I love this realness, being authentic, 20 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:08,759 Speaker 1: no filters, that is all my favorite stuff. So glad 21 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:11,560 Speaker 1: to meet one of the same exactly. It's so important, 22 00:01:11,600 --> 00:01:14,480 Speaker 1: especially with what's going on now in the world. Um. So, 23 00:01:14,600 --> 00:01:16,880 Speaker 1: like I said, we have a lot to talk about. First, 24 00:01:17,040 --> 00:01:20,319 Speaker 1: I read the book Either Never Swans, and oh, my goodness, 25 00:01:20,800 --> 00:01:23,600 Speaker 1: why hasn't there been a book out like this before. Yes, 26 00:01:23,720 --> 00:01:27,960 Speaker 1: it's such an amazing book. Um. That just really depicts 27 00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:33,080 Speaker 1: mental health issues so beautifully, and especially in athletes, which 28 00:01:33,120 --> 00:01:36,600 Speaker 1: is a storyline we don't often get. And I literally 29 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:40,640 Speaker 1: read the entire novel in one night. That's depressive and 30 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 1: that's not even a joke. I had to read it 31 00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 1: early because of the promo, so obviously I was like, 32 00:01:45,280 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: I gotta read this thing quick, but that I could 33 00:01:48,760 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 1: not put it down. It was so good. And that 34 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,080 Speaker 1: also made me so happy because I am so passionate 35 00:01:53,080 --> 00:01:56,000 Speaker 1: about the story and people reading it. So I just 36 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:59,160 Speaker 1: feel really once again real in the fact that I'm 37 00:01:59,160 --> 00:02:01,800 Speaker 1: promoting the book because I love it and I want 38 00:02:01,840 --> 00:02:04,360 Speaker 1: everyone to get their hands on it. So for those 39 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:09,120 Speaker 1: who don't know, Uh, Kobe Bryant and Ava Clark created 40 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,520 Speaker 1: the idea for this book, and they and Ava Clark 41 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:15,520 Speaker 1: wrote it. Um, And I think this story is just 42 00:02:15,919 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 1: like I said, it's so not talked about and congratulations. 43 00:02:19,919 --> 00:02:24,280 Speaker 1: Your nonprofit is listed as a resource and I want 44 00:02:24,280 --> 00:02:26,160 Speaker 1: to talk more about that in a second, but first 45 00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:27,960 Speaker 1: I just want to talk about for those who haven't 46 00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:32,079 Speaker 1: read the book, can you give the synopsis? Yes. So 47 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:36,000 Speaker 1: the synopsis of the book is as follows. It centers 48 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,960 Speaker 1: around a young character, Gus. He is a swimmer, and 49 00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:43,640 Speaker 1: Gus is when we first opened the book, is dealing 50 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:47,240 Speaker 1: with the grief of losing his older brother to suicide. 51 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: And his older brother was also a competitive swimmer, and 52 00:02:51,440 --> 00:02:54,800 Speaker 1: the older brother got very very very close to making 53 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:59,160 Speaker 1: the Olympic Games and did not qualify at the Olympic trials, 54 00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:03,280 Speaker 1: and that devastation everything he dedicated his whole childhood to 55 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:06,400 Speaker 1: qualify for the Olympic Games and then not make it 56 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:10,200 Speaker 1: um was unbearable for that older brother, and he ends 57 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:12,960 Speaker 1: up taking his own life. And so now Gus, the 58 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:18,440 Speaker 1: younger brother, is navigating the loss of Danny, his broken 59 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:24,679 Speaker 1: family life, and going to experience those same pressures, thoughts, 60 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 1: and stresses that his older brother experienced. Because Gus is 61 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,720 Speaker 1: also a swimmer who also wants to go to the Olympics, 62 00:03:30,760 --> 00:03:33,720 Speaker 1: so we kind of see the same storyline manifest itself 63 00:03:33,720 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 1: and Gus but the difference is how can he navigate 64 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:40,680 Speaker 1: these challenges better than his brother? When I read the book, 65 00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 1: one of the main things that I took away from 66 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:45,520 Speaker 1: it is that being a student, let alone a student athlete, 67 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,160 Speaker 1: you try and plan everything accordingly, but you know, life 68 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,600 Speaker 1: throws you curveballs, and it's not what the curveballs are, 69 00:03:50,680 --> 00:03:53,240 Speaker 1: but it's how you react them is what shapes you 70 00:03:53,320 --> 00:03:56,160 Speaker 1: as a person. So I'm curious, as a former do 71 00:03:56,280 --> 00:03:59,200 Speaker 1: one volleyball player at USC what kind of curveballs were 72 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:05,320 Speaker 1: thrown your way? Well, it's interesting because I felt like, Um, 73 00:04:05,440 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: some of the curveballs I faced as a college athlete were. 74 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,720 Speaker 1: One of the biggest ones was just my myself, the 75 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 1: own my own self talk, the things I said to 76 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:17,440 Speaker 1: myself every day. In that kind of environment, my confidence 77 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 1: was shaken for sure. Um that question of am I 78 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:22,279 Speaker 1: good enough to be here? Did I prepare enough? Do 79 00:04:22,320 --> 00:04:24,600 Speaker 1: I know enough? What do they think of me? Um? 80 00:04:24,640 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 1: The level is just so high that for me I 81 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:31,239 Speaker 1: developed that sort of imposter syndrome. And I definitely feel 82 00:04:31,240 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 1: like towards While I definitely struggled with my mental health 83 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:38,240 Speaker 1: throughout college, my senior year I felt like I had 84 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:41,400 Speaker 1: kind of mastered my own mind and how to handle 85 00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,280 Speaker 1: it in those situations. But then I graduated and I've 86 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 1: been pursuing my own career, and I found that I 87 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:51,119 Speaker 1: still struggle with those thoughts of my own self worth 88 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 1: or with anxiety. But now the narrative is slightly different, 89 00:04:54,839 --> 00:05:00,359 Speaker 1: and so I'm having to re understand the new curveballs, um, 90 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 1: and apply what I used to practice to this new dialogue, 91 00:05:03,640 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 1: if that makes sense. So I think every curveball we're 92 00:05:06,600 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 1: thrown in life, whether what comes next is similar or not, 93 00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:15,960 Speaker 1: we're developing and creating mechanisms to handle that sort of thing. 94 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:17,960 Speaker 1: And so it only makes you start for sure. I 95 00:05:17,960 --> 00:05:20,680 Speaker 1: mean also, like you're going to say, like we're a 96 00:05:20,680 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: lot of the times our worst enemy, you know. It's 97 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: how I think. Also social media plays are roll into that, 98 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,400 Speaker 1: which we can talk about later. Um. But another aspect 99 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:31,880 Speaker 1: of this book that I love is the relationship that 100 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:36,039 Speaker 1: gus Uh creates with his coach. It's that, you know, 101 00:05:36,240 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 1: camaraderie that I think is so special, and it's not 102 00:05:39,520 --> 00:05:42,680 Speaker 1: really talked about how that can help to have someone 103 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,680 Speaker 1: like that who understands the pressurey that you're under. Did 104 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:49,120 Speaker 1: you ever have that type of experience. I feel like 105 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:53,359 Speaker 1: it's very special to have a coach who has that 106 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,880 Speaker 1: sort of impact on you, in that relationship with you. 107 00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,880 Speaker 1: And I definitely experienced that sort of coaching in high 108 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 1: school from my club coach. However, UM, you know it 109 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:09,919 Speaker 1: is it is something that when you continue in a 110 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,880 Speaker 1: sport and you experience different coaches, and I had two 111 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:16,360 Speaker 1: different college coaches. And on top of that, UM, if 112 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:19,279 Speaker 1: you're great, if you're fortunate enough, depending on your division, 113 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,760 Speaker 1: you might have three to four extra coaches on a staff. 114 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:24,960 Speaker 1: So fortunately, I think with good people, there's always an 115 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:28,280 Speaker 1: opportunity to form a connection. UM. But for me, I 116 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:32,359 Speaker 1: would say, looking back on my sports career, you know, 117 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:35,359 Speaker 1: being honest, being real, I don't have that one coach, 118 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:41,000 Speaker 1: UM that I feel like changed my life. UM. I 119 00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:44,160 Speaker 1: did feel like I found that in teammates and role models, 120 00:06:45,160 --> 00:06:47,279 Speaker 1: but it is something that as an athlete, you know, 121 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,920 Speaker 1: you hope you do come across. Do you think if 122 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,520 Speaker 1: you had that that would have helped the pressures that 123 00:06:52,560 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 1: you kind of put unto yourself with under the such 124 00:06:55,560 --> 00:07:00,200 Speaker 1: high stakes. I definitely do. I think that when you 125 00:07:00,320 --> 00:07:05,479 Speaker 1: feel like your coach fully believes in you and wants 126 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:09,080 Speaker 1: to see you shine and cares about you as a person. 127 00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:11,680 Speaker 1: Some of that you are going to mitigate some of 128 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 1: that stress and pressure because you're not worrying about what 129 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,800 Speaker 1: your coach thinks about you, and there's not anymore. There's 130 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,280 Speaker 1: not much uncertainty because their relationship is clear, and so 131 00:07:20,360 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 1: I definitely think that that would have been a help. However, 132 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:26,680 Speaker 1: I learned one of my biggest lessons and not having that, 133 00:07:26,760 --> 00:07:30,000 Speaker 1: which is not letting people outside myself give me validation. 134 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,760 Speaker 1: The more I seek, uh the approval of a teammate 135 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 1: or the approval of a coach or the non important 136 00:07:37,040 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 1: then then the less secure I can be in just 137 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 1: my own thoughts and knowing who I am. So while 138 00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:45,280 Speaker 1: I yes, that would have been nice to have, I 139 00:07:45,320 --> 00:07:48,600 Speaker 1: don't regret the incredible lesson it taught me of being 140 00:07:48,640 --> 00:07:52,880 Speaker 1: the person who creates my own storyline. So when you 141 00:07:53,400 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 1: found out that you were going to be a player 142 00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:01,600 Speaker 1: at USC, which is their volleyball team, in credible What 143 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:05,160 Speaker 1: was your experience like in the work and for those 144 00:08:05,160 --> 00:08:07,640 Speaker 1: who don't understand how much goes into being a student athlete, 145 00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:10,520 Speaker 1: can you describe what your days were like? Yes, So, 146 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,880 Speaker 1: I was so excited this was everything I had wanted, 147 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:20,360 Speaker 1: especially playing volleyball my entire childhood, and so to get 148 00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:24,720 Speaker 1: this opportunity was huge. And getting there, I think you 149 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:26,880 Speaker 1: like to imagine, you know, what it would be like 150 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 1: to be a student athlete, especially at USC. You think, oh, 151 00:08:30,080 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 1: I know, I can work really hard, I promise, like 152 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:33,880 Speaker 1: all I want to do is play volleyball. You know, 153 00:08:33,920 --> 00:08:36,040 Speaker 1: you think these things, and then you get there and 154 00:08:36,080 --> 00:08:38,880 Speaker 1: they lay out your schedule and you realize that Monday 155 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 1: through Friday, from one o'clock to six o'clock, you can't 156 00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:45,320 Speaker 1: do anything but show up to the gym and just 157 00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:48,000 Speaker 1: do what they say. So from one to six Monday 158 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:52,360 Speaker 1: through Friday, I would have practice, film a lift. Most 159 00:08:52,360 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 1: of the time in that block, you're you're working out 160 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:58,640 Speaker 1: for about three four hours. Depending on the day, you 161 00:08:58,679 --> 00:09:00,640 Speaker 1: could have a three hour practice, US an hour and 162 00:09:00,640 --> 00:09:03,720 Speaker 1: a half lift. Um, the numbers could vary. My body 163 00:09:03,840 --> 00:09:07,600 Speaker 1: is just tired just hearing this, litterally doing it. And 164 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,559 Speaker 1: then yes, and then you fit in your class before 165 00:09:10,640 --> 00:09:14,360 Speaker 1: one or after six. Not to mention the other things 166 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 1: that we do as college students, having a family life, 167 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:20,600 Speaker 1: of social life, wanting to just get lunch with a friend, um, 168 00:09:20,640 --> 00:09:23,880 Speaker 1: and then you have games twice a week, and that 169 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:27,439 Speaker 1: includes traveling out of the state depending on your club 170 00:09:27,480 --> 00:09:31,720 Speaker 1: friends and keeping up with the academic schedule. About everyone 171 00:09:31,760 --> 00:09:34,320 Speaker 1: else at the school is as well. When did you 172 00:09:34,400 --> 00:09:37,480 Speaker 1: have time to eat? That is the thing you have 173 00:09:37,559 --> 00:09:39,680 Speaker 1: to carve in, is like you have to make sure 174 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,200 Speaker 1: you're eating and you have to like plug it into 175 00:09:42,240 --> 00:09:47,280 Speaker 1: your calendar. And that goes along with just even time 176 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:50,400 Speaker 1: to do nothing. I feel like if I am waking 177 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:53,320 Speaker 1: up and doing things and I'm super robotic, um, I 178 00:09:53,440 --> 00:09:55,480 Speaker 1: just feel like I'm not relaxed or I haven't had 179 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,560 Speaker 1: a moment to distress. So it's also carving in like 180 00:09:57,640 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 1: thirty minutes to do nothing, which you barely can't even 181 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:03,000 Speaker 1: get And honestly, at the time, my thirty minutes of 182 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:06,000 Speaker 1: doing nothing was just sitting stressing about the things I 183 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:11,040 Speaker 1: should be doing or um, you know, feeling overwhelmed and 184 00:10:11,120 --> 00:10:12,600 Speaker 1: kind of letting up because you know, and you just 185 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:14,760 Speaker 1: do so many things that you don't focus on what's 186 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,320 Speaker 1: really happening. And then you slow down, You're like, so 187 00:10:17,559 --> 00:10:21,080 Speaker 1: it becomes weird to like take a breath, Yes, you 188 00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:24,040 Speaker 1: realize what you've been kind of running from with this 189 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:27,320 Speaker 1: busy schedule, so it was a lot. Um it is 190 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:32,000 Speaker 1: a lot for current student athletes, and um, you know 191 00:10:32,320 --> 00:10:36,320 Speaker 1: that just comes with the territory. So I'm curious because 192 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 1: I'm always thinking about like different solutions to things. If 193 00:10:38,840 --> 00:10:41,840 Speaker 1: you could rewrite the curriculum for a student athlete, what 194 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 1: do you think you could do that would make it 195 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:50,440 Speaker 1: more manageable. It's tough because they do try to make 196 00:10:50,480 --> 00:10:53,319 Speaker 1: sure all the schools are doing the same things and 197 00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 1: have the same opportunities to practice and et cetera, and 198 00:10:56,840 --> 00:11:01,559 Speaker 1: they're very strict rules about that stuff. However, for UM, 199 00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:05,720 Speaker 1: I feel like the most obvious thing to me that 200 00:11:05,760 --> 00:11:09,840 Speaker 1: can be adjusted is just providing equal and accessible mental 201 00:11:09,880 --> 00:11:13,480 Speaker 1: health support for all student athletes. Uh, That to me 202 00:11:14,520 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 1: would have helped me manage everything much sooner. Is to 203 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,480 Speaker 1: have that person to talk to. And fortunately at USC 204 00:11:20,640 --> 00:11:22,200 Speaker 1: I did have that. It took me a while to 205 00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:25,360 Speaker 1: go seek that help, but there are many many schools 206 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: and players who don't have an opportunity to seek that 207 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,640 Speaker 1: help for their mental health. So it's incredibly important. And 208 00:11:31,679 --> 00:11:33,640 Speaker 1: that's another reason why the book Use Are Never Swands 209 00:11:33,800 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 1: so important is because it details this side of the 210 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:40,880 Speaker 1: game that is equal to all the physical things we 211 00:11:40,960 --> 00:11:43,280 Speaker 1: do to compete. We had to take a quick break, 212 00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,040 Speaker 1: but when we come back, I want to talk about 213 00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:49,040 Speaker 1: mental health and athletes and something social media. We'll be 214 00:11:49,120 --> 00:11:55,480 Speaker 1: right back, and we're back my Season one finale. Kevin 215 00:11:55,559 --> 00:11:58,400 Speaker 1: Love with our guest and saw that that is my 216 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:03,800 Speaker 1: dream interview congrat agulation. That was crazy. He's incredible and 217 00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:05,280 Speaker 1: we One of the things that we talked about that 218 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,480 Speaker 1: I want to bring up with you is that there's 219 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: such a stigma for athletes going to therapy. It's fascinating 220 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:13,640 Speaker 1: to me that it's okay to go to a sports psychologist, 221 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:16,640 Speaker 1: it's okay to work out and get in great shape physically, 222 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,840 Speaker 1: but yeah, there's such a stigma to go to therapy. 223 00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:22,439 Speaker 1: I always say that you're supposed to work out your body, 224 00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,560 Speaker 1: but you're also supposed to work out your mind, Like 225 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:29,040 Speaker 1: that's what therapy is. I agree with that wholeheartedly. The 226 00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:32,400 Speaker 1: stigma from society is definitely a huge factor in the 227 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:36,240 Speaker 1: reason why we don't prioritize mental health as much. It's 228 00:12:36,280 --> 00:12:38,679 Speaker 1: just this idea that because you can't see the injury 229 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:42,040 Speaker 1: because it was invisible, because someone just has to say 230 00:12:42,080 --> 00:12:45,480 Speaker 1: it's there, makes it less believable, and we obviously know 231 00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 1: as a society we don't like to believe things unless 232 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:51,800 Speaker 1: we can see them. So, um, you know, I found 233 00:12:51,840 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 1: that the stigma of oh, you should just be able 234 00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 1: to figure this out or cheer up, or you've got 235 00:12:57,679 --> 00:13:00,719 Speaker 1: this or brush it off, so not that simple, not 236 00:13:00,880 --> 00:13:04,160 Speaker 1: so simple exactly, especially these terms that we have coined 237 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:07,320 Speaker 1: in sports culture, like brush it off, shake it up, um, 238 00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:10,800 Speaker 1: figure it out, just be clutched. All those things make 239 00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,840 Speaker 1: you think it is something you can just fix yourself. 240 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,240 Speaker 1: But when we look deeper and we die below the 241 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:19,400 Speaker 1: surface and we talked to those professionals and people who 242 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:21,959 Speaker 1: really know what's happening inside our minds, they can tell 243 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,520 Speaker 1: you it's not just a quick fix. It's the same 244 00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:26,960 Speaker 1: sort of injury as an a C L tear. You 245 00:13:26,960 --> 00:13:28,960 Speaker 1: need to go to rehab, you need to get surgery, 246 00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:33,080 Speaker 1: you need to um take time off. And if your brain, 247 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:36,600 Speaker 1: if you're depressed, Um, the neurochemicals in your brain are 248 00:13:36,679 --> 00:13:39,680 Speaker 1: not the way they once were. You're not producing enough 249 00:13:39,679 --> 00:13:43,200 Speaker 1: serotonin from people. Forget, there's a science behind it. It's 250 00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,240 Speaker 1: not just like there's a chemical imbalance in your brain. 251 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:48,080 Speaker 1: A lot at the time that's not just in your 252 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:51,600 Speaker 1: head exactly. And I think we beat ourselves up for 253 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:53,840 Speaker 1: not being able to think ourselves out of it. And 254 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:56,080 Speaker 1: I struggle with that for a long time. I just said, 255 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:58,360 Speaker 1: you've got to think yourself out of this. You know, 256 00:13:58,440 --> 00:14:00,719 Speaker 1: this just means you can't handle. No one else is 257 00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:05,640 Speaker 1: this way. And I discredited how severe the issue actually 258 00:14:05,760 --> 00:14:09,680 Speaker 1: was until it was really bad. Yeah, well, I heard 259 00:14:09,679 --> 00:14:14,560 Speaker 1: you say that you never really experienced anxiety before this. No, 260 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:18,880 Speaker 1: my high school experience, I'm fortunate to say, was pleasant. Um, 261 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,640 Speaker 1: I know a lot of people don't have that. I 262 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:24,200 Speaker 1: wish I could say the same. Oh no, I'm sorry. 263 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,480 Speaker 1: It wasn't rough. The first two years were the hardest 264 00:14:26,520 --> 00:14:29,440 Speaker 1: for me. Last year was a lot better, and this 265 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:32,000 Speaker 1: year I'm a senior. So we're trending in the right direction. 266 00:14:32,440 --> 00:14:35,440 Speaker 1: But it's all about putting your mental health first, right, right. 267 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 1: And I also think we're at different times, um, with 268 00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:40,920 Speaker 1: social media, and even though we are close in age, 269 00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:44,240 Speaker 1: you are going through high school at a time where 270 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:46,880 Speaker 1: we have a TikTok or we have Instagram the way 271 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,520 Speaker 1: it is. I did not get Snapchat till my sophomore 272 00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:52,400 Speaker 1: year of high school. So even though I have been 273 00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:55,960 Speaker 1: very tech savvy, and I'm a younger generation. It was 274 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 1: not as prevalent as it was, so who knows how 275 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,320 Speaker 1: many mental health would have been if I was dealing 276 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,320 Speaker 1: with the same social media scrutiny and involvement that you 277 00:15:03,360 --> 00:15:06,720 Speaker 1: have to deal with. UM. But so for those reasons, 278 00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:11,920 Speaker 1: and also for having a pretty blessed, privileged family, UM, 279 00:15:11,960 --> 00:15:14,800 Speaker 1: I did not experience too many mental health issues. But 280 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:17,400 Speaker 1: then when I got to college, I just felt like 281 00:15:17,520 --> 00:15:21,040 Speaker 1: that schedule we mentioned, the pressure we talked about all 282 00:15:21,120 --> 00:15:24,320 Speaker 1: just came out of nowhere and I was not able 283 00:15:24,320 --> 00:15:26,760 Speaker 1: to handle it. You mentioned this in your TED talk, 284 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:29,400 Speaker 1: and I was so curious about this. You said that 285 00:15:29,440 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 1: if you're one minute late, you had to wake up 286 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:36,360 Speaker 1: at six am and run. Why did they do that? 287 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:40,160 Speaker 1: That is as clear as it sounds. If you are 288 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 1: one minute late, we are all running at six am 289 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 1: the next morning. That was a team role. Sixty seconds yep, 290 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,280 Speaker 1: that was a team role. And it was just you 291 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:52,880 Speaker 1: can't be late. There's absolutely no excuses. UM, we show 292 00:15:52,960 --> 00:15:56,360 Speaker 1: up on time or we show up early. And that 293 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 1: was one of the main things that developed to my 294 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:03,080 Speaker 1: my anxiety a real quick and it wasn't understandably. It 295 00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:05,080 Speaker 1: wasn't just if you were lately ran at six am. 296 00:16:05,120 --> 00:16:08,200 Speaker 1: It was if you break any single rule on our 297 00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,400 Speaker 1: team rules, we will do six am running. So wearing 298 00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:16,240 Speaker 1: the wrong color shirt, forgetting your socks, like just common 299 00:16:16,400 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 1: human errors, punishing you for being human. But it's tough 300 00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:25,800 Speaker 1: because you know, I still look back and I'm torn between. 301 00:16:26,080 --> 00:16:29,200 Speaker 1: I personally think at this time in my life, I 302 00:16:29,240 --> 00:16:33,520 Speaker 1: could handle that penalty, I could handle those rules, and 303 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:36,280 Speaker 1: as an eighteen year old who was dealing with so 304 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,520 Speaker 1: many changes and adjustments in college as a freshman, I 305 00:16:39,600 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 1: just wasn't equipped to handle that stress and pressure. Because 306 00:16:42,840 --> 00:16:44,440 Speaker 1: I look back and I'm like, Okay, we were number 307 00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:46,960 Speaker 1: one in the country. We were undefeated. You know, there's 308 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:49,520 Speaker 1: a reason why we were that good. And I'm guessing 309 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,360 Speaker 1: rules and the team dynamic and that strictness played a 310 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:57,240 Speaker 1: part in our performance. However, you know, I just wasn't 311 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,680 Speaker 1: wise enough. I hadn't done enough work, I wasn't experienced 312 00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 1: enough to know how to handle that pressure. And like, 313 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,000 Speaker 1: if I had that rule now and I made the 314 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:08,800 Speaker 1: team run, I feel like by accident, I feel like 315 00:17:08,800 --> 00:17:10,280 Speaker 1: I would just be like, you know what, sorry, guys, 316 00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,560 Speaker 1: I'm human. I forgot my mis shure, like I'll see 317 00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,640 Speaker 1: you guys six am. Whatever. That's life where a team 318 00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:18,920 Speaker 1: we do things like this, whereas freshman year was everyone's 319 00:17:18,960 --> 00:17:21,119 Speaker 1: gonna hate me. I'm a freshman, I'm a walk on. 320 00:17:21,119 --> 00:17:23,760 Speaker 1: I'm gonna make the steamyors run like it was just this. 321 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,679 Speaker 1: There was so much more tied to it than just 322 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:30,359 Speaker 1: a punch with the hierarchy of that too, like seniors. 323 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,359 Speaker 1: And you couldn't be late to six am running. If 324 00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:36,000 Speaker 1: you are late to six am running, we had to 325 00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,200 Speaker 1: show up the next day. And that happened once someone 326 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,760 Speaker 1: missed six am running because they overslept, and so we 327 00:17:40,800 --> 00:17:44,200 Speaker 1: had to come back the next day at six am. 328 00:17:44,359 --> 00:17:46,600 Speaker 1: Did you have time for a social scene with your schedule? 329 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:50,720 Speaker 1: I did my best to try to keep up some 330 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:53,639 Speaker 1: sort of social life. One of my my best friend 331 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:56,639 Speaker 1: from high school, also went to USC and she was 332 00:17:56,680 --> 00:18:00,320 Speaker 1: not an athlete, so she was able to, you know, 333 00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:03,159 Speaker 1: bring me along to things and introduced me to her friends. 334 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:05,080 Speaker 1: And I was grateful to have that because I didn't 335 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:07,120 Speaker 1: have the time to go meet people at all. So 336 00:18:07,480 --> 00:18:09,480 Speaker 1: for her to just say, join us for dinner and 337 00:18:09,520 --> 00:18:11,280 Speaker 1: let me introduce you to all the friends I've made 338 00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:14,320 Speaker 1: was a really nice thing to have. However, something I 339 00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:17,879 Speaker 1: really struggled with was not having a social life or 340 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:23,399 Speaker 1: friend group outside my team. And my senior year UM 341 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,040 Speaker 1: in the spring was the first semester I was just 342 00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 1: a student because volleyball is in the fall, and now 343 00:18:29,040 --> 00:18:30,359 Speaker 1: that I didn't have a season, I was training for 344 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,640 Speaker 1: you get senior spring, just to be a student. And 345 00:18:33,800 --> 00:18:36,719 Speaker 1: that time in my life, I really was like, Wow, 346 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:41,119 Speaker 1: I've been here for four years and my only friends 347 00:18:41,160 --> 00:18:44,240 Speaker 1: or social relationships were teammates, And it just was really 348 00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:46,960 Speaker 1: difficult for me to sit with that as a college senior, 349 00:18:47,800 --> 00:18:51,120 Speaker 1: thinking great, now I have all this time, I don't 350 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:53,439 Speaker 1: have practice. I can do everything social I would ever 351 00:18:53,480 --> 00:18:55,320 Speaker 1: want to do, but I don't really have people to 352 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:58,080 Speaker 1: do that with. And I really struggled with that. That 353 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,720 Speaker 1: makes total sense, and I also think the social media 354 00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,320 Speaker 1: role that plays into that, where you see people having 355 00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:06,800 Speaker 1: fun and partying, then also you're torn between wanting to 356 00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:08,840 Speaker 1: go out, but then also you're in a really bad 357 00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:11,520 Speaker 1: mental state where you don't want to socialize with anybody. 358 00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:15,680 Speaker 1: It's that it's that you're between a rock and hard place. Well, 359 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:19,760 Speaker 1: something I've discovered about myself in quarantine, which I'm so excited, 360 00:19:19,800 --> 00:19:22,600 Speaker 1: like this one thing will be the best thing that 361 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,840 Speaker 1: I've realized about myself is so I mentioned I struggled 362 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:27,760 Speaker 1: with kind of that lack of a ton of friends, 363 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:30,800 Speaker 1: and I think, especially as females, there's this pressure to 364 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,359 Speaker 1: have a girl group as a girl's night out, and 365 00:19:33,400 --> 00:19:35,280 Speaker 1: so you don't have that group of five or six 366 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:37,720 Speaker 1: or that group chat, you think like something's wrong with me. 367 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:42,679 Speaker 1: And before Quarantine, I just remember, like actively, how can 368 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,399 Speaker 1: I build relationships? How can I invite someone here? Like 369 00:19:45,480 --> 00:19:50,960 Speaker 1: I need more friends? Because there were social things happening, pictures, events, 370 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,600 Speaker 1: and I felt like I needed that. But now that 371 00:19:53,640 --> 00:19:55,679 Speaker 1: I've been in quarantine and there is no party to 372 00:19:55,720 --> 00:19:57,800 Speaker 1: go to, there are no pictures of the groups, there 373 00:19:57,800 --> 00:20:00,239 Speaker 1: are no things. I've looked at my life. I've been 374 00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:04,399 Speaker 1: realized I don't have an absence. I don't feel an 375 00:20:04,440 --> 00:20:07,720 Speaker 1: absence of friends. I have some of my my best 376 00:20:07,720 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 1: friends in the world, but let's be real that it's 377 00:20:09,320 --> 00:20:11,840 Speaker 1: like four or five people and they're not quality over quanity, 378 00:20:11,880 --> 00:20:14,720 Speaker 1: though that's what I always say, yes, quality over quantity. 379 00:20:14,840 --> 00:20:17,800 Speaker 1: But so I've realized, like these people give me everything 380 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,240 Speaker 1: I needed friends, and I don't even have time for 381 00:20:20,359 --> 00:20:22,320 Speaker 1: the people that are my friends. They're always like, you're 382 00:20:22,320 --> 00:20:23,960 Speaker 1: so busy, can you make time for me? Because of 383 00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:27,159 Speaker 1: everything I'm doing. So I just realized, Wow, it was 384 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:30,639 Speaker 1: an illusion that society was convincing me I needed more friends. 385 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:32,080 Speaker 1: You need to go to these things with people in 386 00:20:32,080 --> 00:20:34,840 Speaker 1: the pictures, And now that there's no opportunity, I've realized 387 00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:37,960 Speaker 1: I don't need that at all. You know, you've talked 388 00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,159 Speaker 1: about how you would post these photos, but like they 389 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,360 Speaker 1: would be so manicured, even though they would just look 390 00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:46,439 Speaker 1: quote unquote candid. Yeah. I spent a lot of time 391 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:50,120 Speaker 1: trying to perfect my Instagram, especially in college, and make 392 00:20:50,119 --> 00:20:54,119 Speaker 1: sure it looked like I was everything I thought I 393 00:20:54,160 --> 00:21:00,680 Speaker 1: was supposed to be, a happy, skinny, pretty popular, um 394 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:04,199 Speaker 1: like just enjoying this lifestyle and being this girl that 395 00:21:04,840 --> 00:21:08,119 Speaker 1: I thought, you know, you needed to be, and it 396 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:11,240 Speaker 1: was just so fake and it was such a disconnect 397 00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:15,480 Speaker 1: with my heart because I remember just feeling like absolute um, 398 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:18,480 Speaker 1: just feeling really bad about myself for feeling really down 399 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:21,960 Speaker 1: and finding a picture to seek those likes and those 400 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,960 Speaker 1: comments and and look at this little feed and think, Okay, 401 00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 1: well this looks perfect so you know, maybe my life's 402 00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 1: not as bad as I think it is. UM, And 403 00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:35,320 Speaker 1: that also wore on me over time, just putting up 404 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:38,320 Speaker 1: a front and putting on a mask that wasn't genuine 405 00:21:38,359 --> 00:21:41,000 Speaker 1: to me. And I think if you live yes, and 406 00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 1: if you live your life as someone else or something else, 407 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:47,640 Speaker 1: you slowly start to lose touch with who you are. 408 00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:50,359 Speaker 1: And I just I had to stop that. Okay, we 409 00:21:50,400 --> 00:21:52,000 Speaker 1: have to take one more quick break, but want to 410 00:21:52,040 --> 00:21:54,159 Speaker 1: come back. I want to talk more. Thanks social media 411 00:21:54,359 --> 00:22:01,400 Speaker 1: and society's beauty standards. We'll be right back, and we're back. 412 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,439 Speaker 1: I love so much how just authentic you are on 413 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: social media, and I love your TikTok because it is 414 00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,320 Speaker 1: just like with everything going on the world, and especially 415 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:16,360 Speaker 1: on that app, it is just like, thank you real 416 00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:21,040 Speaker 1: it's authentic, which is needed more. I'm really grateful to 417 00:22:21,080 --> 00:22:22,720 Speaker 1: hear that. And you've got to get on the app. Girl. 418 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:24,920 Speaker 1: It is where it is at right now. I mean, 419 00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,600 Speaker 1: I just it's we can talk. We can talk about 420 00:22:27,600 --> 00:22:30,440 Speaker 1: it after. But TikTok is just a game changer. And 421 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,639 Speaker 1: the people I've been able to connect with, um, the 422 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,280 Speaker 1: way I've been able to explore my creativity, you know, 423 00:22:36,359 --> 00:22:39,639 Speaker 1: I've found that in the message I want to share. 424 00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,520 Speaker 1: It's given me so many ways to communicate it. And 425 00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,520 Speaker 1: you are right, there's a very toxic diet culture on TikTok, 426 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:49,960 Speaker 1: a very a very clear standard of beauty presented on 427 00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:52,520 Speaker 1: that app but you're breaking that. I think it is 428 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:56,280 Speaker 1: important and um just I've been having a really great 429 00:22:56,280 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 1: time on it, and it means a lot to know that, 430 00:22:58,119 --> 00:23:00,840 Speaker 1: you know, you're enjoying the TikTok, So thank you. Something 431 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:05,879 Speaker 1: that I've also just realized, there's just this gap in 432 00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:08,880 Speaker 1: what societal beauty standards, which is something that I want 433 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:11,080 Speaker 1: to talk to you about because you know, there's so 434 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,760 Speaker 1: many trends with it. You know, sometimes it's the like 435 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:18,160 Speaker 1: skinny stick figures what's cool or beautiful, but then it's 436 00:23:18,160 --> 00:23:20,960 Speaker 1: the curse. But then it's like a normal body. Why 437 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:23,679 Speaker 1: do you think that's something that's still so prevalent in 438 00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:26,159 Speaker 1: society when people are like, just don't look like that. 439 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,920 Speaker 1: A lot of people, Well, we've just continued to give 440 00:23:29,960 --> 00:23:35,920 Speaker 1: attention to our appearance. First off, that's something that as 441 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:40,240 Speaker 1: society we value. Um and I'm not saying that that's 442 00:23:40,240 --> 00:23:43,199 Speaker 1: what I value, but as a whole you just grow up, 443 00:23:43,400 --> 00:23:47,560 Speaker 1: especially as a female, being told to look a certain way, 444 00:23:47,680 --> 00:23:51,400 Speaker 1: present your look presentable. Um. And then there's all these 445 00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:57,840 Speaker 1: like adjectives people to attribute with that which is dainty, poised, feminine. UM. 446 00:23:57,840 --> 00:24:00,200 Speaker 1: I know, feminine was a big issue for me because 447 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,840 Speaker 1: as an athlete, I didn't feel feminine. I felt sweaty 448 00:24:02,960 --> 00:24:07,199 Speaker 1: and bulky and strong, and even strong isn't something we 449 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:11,959 Speaker 1: would associate with a beautiful female. So you have those narratives. 450 00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:18,240 Speaker 1: And then also we see the people who have the 451 00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:24,080 Speaker 1: power and the followings promoting image and you know, without 452 00:24:24,200 --> 00:24:27,639 Speaker 1: naming people, but I'll name people Kardashians. You know, we 453 00:24:27,800 --> 00:24:32,800 Speaker 1: see them most of the time very image focused, and 454 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,520 Speaker 1: that in turn sends a message to the people who 455 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:38,920 Speaker 1: follow them and consume their content, which is millions and 456 00:24:38,960 --> 00:24:42,400 Speaker 1: millions and millions, that that is important and also this 457 00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,760 Speaker 1: is what you should look like. And we need to 458 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:49,639 Speaker 1: just start shifting the attention and the message, especially for 459 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:53,959 Speaker 1: those younger generations, about what the priority is. And you know, 460 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 1: I don't think that the Kardashians wake up in the 461 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,480 Speaker 1: morning and set out to make girls feel bad about themselves. 462 00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:02,840 Speaker 1: I They're also normal people like us who probably fallen 463 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,120 Speaker 1: victim to the same standards and pressures, but they're under 464 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:08,840 Speaker 1: a spotlight and so whether they like it or not, 465 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:11,560 Speaker 1: they are setting the standard UM and we follow that. 466 00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 1: And so it's important to pay attention to where we're 467 00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:21,040 Speaker 1: putting that focus, what we're trying to become UM and 468 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:24,120 Speaker 1: then create our own notions around that. I know you've 469 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:27,720 Speaker 1: talked about how you know from all these societal standards, 470 00:25:27,760 --> 00:25:30,000 Speaker 1: it made you want to change your body so you 471 00:25:30,480 --> 00:25:33,560 Speaker 1: either wouldn't eat or you know, and that's something that 472 00:25:33,640 --> 00:25:36,199 Speaker 1: so many people are facing. It's become kind of have 473 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,560 Speaker 1: you seen those like TikTok's where it's like they make 474 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:42,679 Speaker 1: light of it or they make it like normal something 475 00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:46,600 Speaker 1: they're so harmful because you know best, like when you're 476 00:25:46,600 --> 00:25:49,080 Speaker 1: an athlete, especially a student athlete, you have to bulk 477 00:25:49,200 --> 00:25:52,159 Speaker 1: up to play the sport. That's just what happens. You 478 00:25:52,200 --> 00:25:55,720 Speaker 1: gain muscle, um, you gain strength. How do you think 479 00:25:55,960 --> 00:25:58,439 Speaker 1: we can as a society change that to make that 480 00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:02,920 Speaker 1: still beautiful because it is It comes with each person 481 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,439 Speaker 1: kind of claiming that power back and that authority to 482 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,920 Speaker 1: be the person who validates themselves, be the person who 483 00:26:09,960 --> 00:26:12,320 Speaker 1: says this is okay and I don't need you to 484 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:18,640 Speaker 1: approve it, and especially for female athletes, you know, we 485 00:26:18,720 --> 00:26:20,960 Speaker 1: need to remember that. And I made it to talk 486 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:23,239 Speaker 1: about this yesterday, and it was just saying, you're not 487 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,280 Speaker 1: there to look the prettiest. You're there to play the 488 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:29,320 Speaker 1: best and ball out and do what you've been training 489 00:26:29,359 --> 00:26:32,000 Speaker 1: to do, not look the cutest in your uniform. But 490 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:37,040 Speaker 1: we've once again in this society had people put such 491 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:41,359 Speaker 1: a focus on our image that even athletes, female athletes me, 492 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:45,199 Speaker 1: I wasn't focusing on how strong, fast, um good at 493 00:26:45,240 --> 00:26:47,680 Speaker 1: my sport. I was instead I was thinking about how 494 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:51,240 Speaker 1: I looked too big, how I didn't look good enough, um, 495 00:26:51,359 --> 00:26:55,560 Speaker 1: how the muscles I had spent months building and developing 496 00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:59,159 Speaker 1: on my body were ugly um, and just ignoring the 497 00:26:59,160 --> 00:27:01,920 Speaker 1: fact that that was a mark of hard work. To 498 00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,480 Speaker 1: get muscle on your legs is hard to do. Yet 499 00:27:05,520 --> 00:27:10,240 Speaker 1: in that process I despised that growth. Wow, Unfortunately, it's 500 00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:14,400 Speaker 1: so hard to be a girl today, Like, it's so hard, um. 501 00:27:14,480 --> 00:27:18,600 Speaker 1: And I honestly love what you've done with your nonprofit. 502 00:27:19,160 --> 00:27:21,560 Speaker 1: I love that it's listed as a resource in this book. 503 00:27:22,240 --> 00:27:25,159 Speaker 1: So for those who aren't aware of your nonprofit, please 504 00:27:25,720 --> 00:27:30,400 Speaker 1: please share it. After struggling with my mental health freshman 505 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,040 Speaker 1: and sophomore year, I delivered a TED talk in the 506 00:27:33,080 --> 00:27:38,800 Speaker 1: spring of my uh college time I've never time talked 507 00:27:38,760 --> 00:27:41,160 Speaker 1: abou summer year, and it was called The Hidden Opponent, 508 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:46,560 Speaker 1: and it basically explained the stigma that athletes face when 509 00:27:46,600 --> 00:27:48,719 Speaker 1: it comes to mental health and the mental health issues 510 00:27:48,760 --> 00:27:52,760 Speaker 1: in sports that often go UM, not talked about or 511 00:27:52,800 --> 00:27:58,240 Speaker 1: not addressed. And after graduating, I continued to speak, and 512 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,840 Speaker 1: I traveled at a different college campus is and I spoke. 513 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,800 Speaker 1: But I realized that there's so much more than just 514 00:28:03,920 --> 00:28:07,120 Speaker 1: me and my one story. There's hundreds thousands of athletes 515 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:11,360 Speaker 1: who experience these SAM struggles. So I wanted to create 516 00:28:11,440 --> 00:28:15,240 Speaker 1: a community, a platform where we could amplify the stories 517 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:18,280 Speaker 1: of those student athletes and also create a community together 518 00:28:18,720 --> 00:28:21,280 Speaker 1: UM to kind of combat that stigma. And so it's 519 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:24,320 Speaker 1: called The Hitting Opponent after my TED talk, but also 520 00:28:24,400 --> 00:28:26,840 Speaker 1: because I think, you know, I just love that that 521 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:31,080 Speaker 1: idea that we're facing a competitor. We have another opponent, 522 00:28:31,160 --> 00:28:34,000 Speaker 1: but this one you can't see. And it's really been 523 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,360 Speaker 1: special to develop this group. IY have an amazing UM 524 00:28:37,480 --> 00:28:40,880 Speaker 1: team of people who who helped Ben Ruvo as a 525 00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:45,000 Speaker 1: baseball player in college he's our president, and all of 526 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:47,360 Speaker 1: the team is made up of current and former student athletes, 527 00:28:47,400 --> 00:28:49,400 Speaker 1: and we have a Facebook group with hundreds of athletes. 528 00:28:49,440 --> 00:28:52,840 Speaker 1: So it's really it's really special, and I'm so grateful 529 00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 1: that Kobe supported it and that we can be a 530 00:28:55,600 --> 00:28:57,800 Speaker 1: resource in this book and anyone who reads it and 531 00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,840 Speaker 1: is struggling can come our way. Just starting a nonprofit 532 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,280 Speaker 1: for this is so important because, like you've talked about, 533 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:06,840 Speaker 1: it's not talked about. Yeah, it's not at all. So 534 00:29:06,920 --> 00:29:08,720 Speaker 1: I know you've been asked would you write a book? 535 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,360 Speaker 1: You know, I've seen your answers. You even asked a lot. 536 00:29:11,480 --> 00:29:14,600 Speaker 1: But I'm going to change your research. I did, so 537 00:29:14,720 --> 00:29:17,640 Speaker 1: what I'm going to change up the question would you 538 00:29:17,760 --> 00:29:22,640 Speaker 1: ever make a documentary? I mean, I would love to 539 00:29:23,400 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 1: participate in that or do that, and I am willing 540 00:29:26,760 --> 00:29:29,320 Speaker 1: to share my story in any capacity and hopes that 541 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,840 Speaker 1: it helps. But speaking of that, there's an incredible documentary 542 00:29:32,920 --> 00:29:35,360 Speaker 1: coming out any day now called The Weight of Gold 543 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,240 Speaker 1: with Michael Phelps and all these incredible athletes who talk 544 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:42,760 Speaker 1: about the mental health issues of Olympic athletes. Um so 545 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,760 Speaker 1: that sounds that is something very similar to what you 546 00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:48,920 Speaker 1: just asked coming out too, and then also just big 547 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,640 Speaker 1: not to Kevin Love who you've interviewed, but just for 548 00:29:51,760 --> 00:29:57,840 Speaker 1: him to kind of champion this conversation just creates waves, 549 00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:02,360 Speaker 1: um for him to complete it's incredible. It's also this 550 00:30:02,760 --> 00:30:05,480 Speaker 1: it's this stigma that all of this is a stigma, 551 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:08,800 Speaker 1: and I just don't understand it because if everybody goes 552 00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,440 Speaker 1: through it, then why is it not talked about? Yeah? No, 553 00:30:11,520 --> 00:30:13,120 Speaker 1: I agree for sure, and I think the stigma has 554 00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:17,280 Speaker 1: already changed dramatically, which is incredible, just from my freshman 555 00:30:17,360 --> 00:30:19,920 Speaker 1: year of school where it was at too now my 556 00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,720 Speaker 1: first year out of school, looking at where the conversation is, um, 557 00:30:23,840 --> 00:30:27,680 Speaker 1: I really feel like it is super prevalent in sports 558 00:30:27,880 --> 00:30:30,760 Speaker 1: right now. And that's that's awesome that in just four 559 00:30:30,840 --> 00:30:33,520 Speaker 1: years we've seen such great lengths. I agree, And I 560 00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:37,440 Speaker 1: also think that you have persevered not only through the 561 00:30:37,480 --> 00:30:39,840 Speaker 1: transition but also to get on the team. So for 562 00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,880 Speaker 1: someone who has been rejected, what advice would you give 563 00:30:43,920 --> 00:30:47,800 Speaker 1: them to Kno, give up? I believe that when it 564 00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:51,480 Speaker 1: comes to what should I give up or not? And 565 00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:53,560 Speaker 1: I almost want to refer to that room as more 566 00:30:53,640 --> 00:30:55,800 Speaker 1: like move on, because you know there aren't people that 567 00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:59,240 Speaker 1: do have to stop for certain reasons. And you never 568 00:30:59,280 --> 00:31:02,200 Speaker 1: want someone to look back and think they couldn't do 569 00:31:02,240 --> 00:31:04,720 Speaker 1: it or they wouldn't strong enough, because it's a difficult 570 00:31:04,720 --> 00:31:08,920 Speaker 1: decision to stop something. I would just my advice would 571 00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:12,080 Speaker 1: be to really look inside yourself, forget the external noise, 572 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,560 Speaker 1: what your parents say, what social media said, what you 573 00:31:14,640 --> 00:31:16,840 Speaker 1: said in the past, two people, whatever it is you're 574 00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:19,760 Speaker 1: dealing with, and think, you know, is my heart in this? 575 00:31:20,320 --> 00:31:22,320 Speaker 1: Do I really want to do? I have more to give? 576 00:31:22,880 --> 00:31:25,120 Speaker 1: And sometimes that answer is going to be no, and 577 00:31:25,200 --> 00:31:28,400 Speaker 1: that's perfectly okay. And other times you might think, yeah, 578 00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:30,160 Speaker 1: I got a little fight left in me and you 579 00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:31,560 Speaker 1: want to keep going. And for me, I had a 580 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:33,560 Speaker 1: little fight left in me, and I'm glad that I 581 00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:37,400 Speaker 1: kept going. Man Like, I think I feel like if 582 00:31:37,560 --> 00:31:41,280 Speaker 1: more people were as honest as you have been, just 583 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:43,840 Speaker 1: in general, I think the world would be a much 584 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,680 Speaker 1: better place. That is so sweet of you, and you 585 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:48,640 Speaker 1: are super honest too, so I'm glad that you get 586 00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:52,040 Speaker 1: to host these conversations with all these incredible people and 587 00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,280 Speaker 1: bring that realness out of them. Well, thank you very much, 588 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:59,120 Speaker 1: And if you haven't already, please go purchase Ease or 589 00:31:59,240 --> 00:32:02,640 Speaker 1: never Swans and don't forget to check out Victoria Garrick 590 00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:05,040 Speaker 1: on her social media. It's just Victoria Garrick on all 591 00:32:05,040 --> 00:32:07,800 Speaker 1: of them, right, yes, yes, yes, yes. And also go 592 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:10,600 Speaker 1: check out the Hidden Opponent. Yes, come to the Hidden 593 00:32:10,600 --> 00:32:13,520 Speaker 1: Opponent Instagram or if you're a student athlete, join our 594 00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:19,440 Speaker 1: Facebook group. We definitely want you there. Thank you guys 595 00:32:19,520 --> 00:32:21,440 Speaker 1: so much for listening to this week's episode of the 596 00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:23,880 Speaker 1: Let's Be Real Podcast. If you have not already, don't 597 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:27,000 Speaker 1: forget to subscribe and leave a comment if you have 598 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,480 Speaker 1: any suggestions or just your thoughts on the podcast. Also, 599 00:32:30,600 --> 00:32:32,480 Speaker 1: if you haven't already, don't forget to follow me on 600 00:32:32,520 --> 00:32:35,200 Speaker 1: Instagram at It's Sammy J. That's I T S S 601 00:32:35,240 --> 00:32:38,560 Speaker 1: A M M Y j A y E. And as always, 602 00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:40,480 Speaker 1: I will see you guys next week. Buy