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Speaker 1: Keeps to the planet.

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Speaker 2: I'll go by the name of Charlamagne of God. And

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Speaker 2: guess what, I can't wait to see y'all at the

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Speaker 2: third annual Black Effect Podcast Festival. That's right, We're coming

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Speaker 2: back to Atlanta, Georgia, Saturday, April twenty six at Poeman

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Speaker 2: Yards and it's hosted by none other than Decisions, Decisions,

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Speaker 2: may DyB and Weezy. Okay, we got the R and

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Speaker 2: B Money podcast. We're taking Jay Valentine. We got the

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Speaker 2: Woman of All Podcasts with Sarah Jake Roberts. We got

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Speaker 2: Good Mom's Bad Choices. Carrie Champion will be there with

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Speaker 2: her next sports podcast and the Trap Nerds podcast, with

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Speaker 2: more to be announced. And of course it's bigger than podcasts.

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Speaker 2: We're bringing the Black Effect marketplace with black owned businesses

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Speaker 2: plus the food truck court to keep you fed.

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Speaker 1: While you visit us.

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Speaker 2: All right, listen, you don't want to miss this. Tap

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Speaker 2: in and grab your tickets now at Black Effect dot

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Speaker 2: Com Flash Podcast Festival.

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Speaker 1: Take a deep in through your nose. Holds it now,

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Speaker 1: release slowly again deep in haale hold release, repeating internally

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Speaker 1: to yourself as you connect to my voice. I am

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Speaker 1: deeply well I am deeply Well. I am deeply Wow.

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Speaker 1: I'm Debbie Brown, and this is the Deeply Well Podcast.

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Speaker 1: Welcome to Deeply Well, a soft place to land on

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Speaker 1: your journey. A podcast for those that are curious, creative,

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Speaker 1: and ready to expand in higher consciousness and self care.

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Speaker 1: This is where we heal, this is where we transcend.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to Deeply Well. I am Debbie Brown. I

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Speaker 1: have to say first and foremost, I mean, We're gonna

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Speaker 1: have a good check in this episode. I have so

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Speaker 1: many thoughts on so many things that are happening. I'm

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Speaker 1: going to share a little bit of my current journey

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Speaker 1: with you, but I also just want to say thank

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Speaker 1: you so so much to everyone that has been dming

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Speaker 1: me with get well soon wishes. It is just meant

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Speaker 1: the world it has been. I have been reading just

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Speaker 1: some of the kindest, most thoughtful, sweetest things and just

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Speaker 1: really beautiful intention People have voice noted me prayers, which

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Speaker 1: is just like, uh, expanding my spirit and my heart.

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Speaker 1: So from the deepest part of me, just thank you

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Speaker 1: so much for everyone that listens to the show or

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Speaker 1: connects with my work in some way, that has reached out,

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Speaker 1: that has been following along with the physical medical journey

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Speaker 1: that I have been on this season of the show,

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Speaker 1: so love y'all so much, and feeling deeply seen and

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Speaker 1: deeply grateful. So I guess let's start there, all right,

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Speaker 1: y'all life lately, so I where do I even begin?

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Speaker 1: And it's so interesting just the timing of all of this.

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Speaker 1: It's so spiritually fascinating and spiritually aligned. But right as

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Speaker 1: I'm getting ready to birth my book, Living in Wisdom,

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Speaker 1: which is available for pre order now and available everywhere

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Speaker 1: in the world April twenty second, twenty twenty five and

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Speaker 1: on audible all the places. You know, this book was

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Speaker 1: in my body and in my spirit for over five

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Speaker 1: years to write, and it took me two years to

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Speaker 1: write it. And you know, in the midst of that time,

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Speaker 1: so much life was happening and so much healing was happening,

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Speaker 1: and then so much of writing a book is kind

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Speaker 1: of being in the waiting game, right like you you

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Speaker 1: might announce your book two years before it sees the

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Speaker 1: light of day because there's certain production deadlines, marketing deadlines,

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Speaker 1: figuring out the right time to release it. So my

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Speaker 1: book has been like done, done, done, ready to go

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Speaker 1: for about a year and now I'm so excited it

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Speaker 1: shall be here soon. But it's been really interesting kind

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Speaker 1: of settling into this injury that I have and this

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Speaker 1: surgery that I had to have, and kind of looking

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Speaker 1: at the universe, like, why is this happening? I had

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Speaker 1: all this time? Why is this happening? A few weeks

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Speaker 1: before I met to go on a book tour, meant

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Speaker 1: to share, you know, some of the deepest parts of

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Speaker 1: my heart and the deepest parts of my work with

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Speaker 1: the world. And so I want to share some really

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Speaker 1: beautiful insights I've been having around that, around the beauty

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Speaker 1: and pain and the patience that can be found in

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Speaker 1: pain that I want to expand in on this episode.

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Speaker 1: But all right, we're in it. So for those that

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Speaker 1: have been following along, I have been really wrestling. I

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Speaker 1: live with chronic pain, and I have for several decades

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Speaker 1: chronic back pain, neck pain, some chronic injuries since childhood,

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Speaker 1: and so pain physical pain has been a part of

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Speaker 1: my life since I can remember. And for those that

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Speaker 1: are also on this journey, which so much love to

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Speaker 1: those that are also on this journe, it's a very

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Speaker 1: specific kind of journey to be on when you live

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Speaker 1: with chronic pain one that is very hard to understand

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Speaker 1: sometimes by people that may that may not be their

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Speaker 1: road to learning. But pain has been a big teacher

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Speaker 1: in my life and many many, many, many, many, many

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Speaker 1: many ways, and physical pain has been one of them.

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Speaker 1: And so when you have physical pain, chronic pain, when

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Speaker 1: you also were someone that has bared witness to a

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Speaker 1: lot of hard things or have had a lot of

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Speaker 1: complex lived experiences, you also take on quite a resilience

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Speaker 1: that grows your pain tolerance. I have always known that

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Speaker 1: I have had a pretty astronomical pain tolerance, and I

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Speaker 1: can sit on the bottom of the ocean at any

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Speaker 1: time with anyone. And so this last year has been

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Speaker 1: really transformative for me, and I've been expressing this, i

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Speaker 1: think in some ways on the show over time, but

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Speaker 1: learning what that really is on a spiritual level and

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Speaker 1: knowing that now is my time thinks entirely to the

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Speaker 1: guidance of God, that now is my time to challenge

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Speaker 1: my beliefs and my experiences that I've had with and

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Speaker 1: around physical pain. So being on a healing journey is

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Speaker 1: so astounding for so many reasons, and it's just so

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Speaker 1: faceted and so incredibly beautiful. To be present with because

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Speaker 1: you will find that you are constantly invited to witness

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Speaker 1: and review and challenge certain things that you have learned

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Speaker 1: and release, but in new dimensions and in new facets

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Speaker 1: of your life. And I've shared this before. When God

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Speaker 1: brings you to a healing, when the universe brings you

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Speaker 1: to a healing, you will be invited to then revisit

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Speaker 1: and be in practice with that healing and all the

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Speaker 1: categories of your life that it may show up right.

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Speaker 1: And so for many, many years, I have been in

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Speaker 1: deep initiation with healing emotional pain, with healing spiritual pain,

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Speaker 1: and karmic pain. Those have been massive themes in my

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Speaker 1: life for eons and for many years in this lifetime.

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Speaker 1: And now I'm being asked to get into the fibers

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Speaker 1: of the healing of my physical pains. And it's been

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Speaker 1: really beautiful to be in that, a lot of curiosity

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Speaker 1: for it. It's been hard to and challenging, draining, painful,

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Speaker 1: but beautiful to be in the observation of my physical pain.

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Speaker 1: When healing emotional pain and spiritual pain and mental pain

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Speaker 1: is no longer something that is present, so there is

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Speaker 1: a clarity, there is an opening, there is a deeper

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Speaker 1: presence within which I'm being invited to be with my

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Speaker 1: body now that some of that other work not only

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Speaker 1: is done but has been dissolved. So that's been feeling special.

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Speaker 1: And I kind of say this now with this much

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Speaker 1: description because I know how tiring healing can be. And

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Speaker 1: for those that connect with this show and that are

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Speaker 1: on their own journey, you come to know, or I

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Speaker 1: invite you to know that this is coming, that it

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Speaker 1: really is kind of like this. And when you're in

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Speaker 1: a slump with your healing or in what feels like

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Speaker 1: a lower point, rest and recover and just be present

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Speaker 1: with that, because you'll be called to do it more

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Speaker 1: and more. You'll be called to release more and more.

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Speaker 1: But when you're in the fatigue of your healing, don't

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Speaker 1: fight through it and try to superheal, and don't try

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Speaker 1: to work on yourself even more to push through. That's

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Speaker 1: when you're in recovery mode. That's when you're in rest mode.

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Speaker 1: So give that space to yourself and then know that

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Speaker 1: you'll be invited to explore it again and again in

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Speaker 1: all the ways. And I think eventually you come into

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Speaker 1: a space of it being really purely observational and you

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Speaker 1: get to learn through observation of self or others, and

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Speaker 1: you don't always have to learn through firsthand experience, but

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Speaker 1: the first hand learning is always first. So this year

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Speaker 1: and this season of the show, part of what I

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Speaker 1: have been working through as someone who has had lifelong

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Speaker 1: chronic pain and autoimmune is that I've been learning my

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Speaker 1: limits in new ways, especially as this beautifully bloomed, healed,

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Speaker 1: present version of myself. And so about five years ago,

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Speaker 1: I retained an injury in my left shoulder and I

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Speaker 1: remember being in pain at the time, like a lot

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Speaker 1: of pain for many weeks, many months after this injury

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Speaker 1: happened to me took place, and it was the very

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Speaker 1: beginning of the pandemic, and I had a just turned

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Speaker 1: two year old, And as someone that is used to

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Speaker 1: always being challenged and kind of pushing through physical pain

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Speaker 1: and not really talking about it, because those on this

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Speaker 1: journey know at some point it gets exhausting for other

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Speaker 1: people to hear about It's present in your body every

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Speaker 1: second of every day. But at a certain point there's

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Speaker 1: no need to talk about it anymore, bring it up,

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Speaker 1: especially when you know you can't do anything to change

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Speaker 1: it per se or you just see kind of on

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Speaker 1: the faces or in the attitudes of people in your

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Speaker 1: life that you know they've heard it a lot, and

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Speaker 1: so you just hold it in and you keep moving

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Speaker 1: and people don't know. And so many people in my

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Speaker 1: life never knew that I had this battle that would

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Speaker 1: sometimes mean that I have to cancel things, or I

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Speaker 1: can't show up, I can't come. I think in younger

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Speaker 1: versions of my life, this was confusing for me and

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Speaker 1: others because people there were a couple projections from some

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Speaker 1: people in my younger life that you know, not being

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Speaker 1: out in the club or on the scene, was you know,

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Speaker 1: me being above or aloof or whatever whatever people think

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Speaker 1: about whatever, And it was really just you may not

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Speaker 1: know that, Like, I'm in a lot of pain today

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Speaker 1: and I can't I can't put those shoes on, or

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Speaker 1: I can't be out without kind of suffering a little,

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Speaker 1: so I'll stay in. And so when I got that

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Speaker 1: injury five years ago, I was in a lot of

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Speaker 1: pain and I couldn't fully use this arm, but I

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Speaker 1: just kept going. And you couldn't really get into doctors

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Speaker 1: at the time because it was the pandemic. So life

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Speaker 1: passes on. I learned to ic it regularly and move on.

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Speaker 1: And then eventually your body overcompensates and the injury becomes

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Speaker 1: different or the flare ups become less and less, and

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Speaker 1: you move on. So I fit this shoulder injury into

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Speaker 1: the system of my body, which says, yeah, so every

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Speaker 1: day you have a little pain, keep going, and forgot

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Speaker 1: all about it. This past November, which I talked about

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Speaker 1: on this show, I had a massive, massive, massive flare

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Speaker 1: up in my body and it happened through I think

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Speaker 1: it happened through a workout I was doing, and it

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Speaker 1: was only holding a ten pound weight, but I felt

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Speaker 1: something change in my body. And now the pain was back,

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Speaker 1: and it was back worse than I could ever imagine.

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Speaker 1: Like there was so little I could do with this arm,

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Speaker 1: and so I started using a lot of my biohacking.

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Speaker 1: I started getting regular infrared light therapy on this arm,

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Speaker 1: regular acupuncture just on this shoulder. I started going to

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Speaker 1: rehab facility and trying to meet this need on my own,

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Speaker 1: and it helped a lot. It gave me the movement

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Speaker 1: back in my arm. So then I was like, all right,

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Speaker 1: I'm back at it. I'm gonna go. And then this

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Speaker 1: past November, when I was actually going to Mexico to

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Speaker 1: speak at summit. I got hit with this deep wave

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Speaker 1: of exhaustion and so much pain in my back and

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Speaker 1: in my shoulder that I lost the ability to walk

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Speaker 1: for a few days. And so I was grounded in

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Speaker 1: Mexico and I couldn't leave, and I had to just recover.

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Speaker 1: I had to surrender, surrender, surrender to recovering in another

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Speaker 1: country and finding childcare from us and figuring it out.

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Speaker 1: And so what was really revolutionary about that moment for

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Speaker 1: me was it was the first time that I was

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Speaker 1: like time to lock back into Western medicine. I had

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Speaker 1: only I hadn't gone to really any Western doctors with

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Speaker 1: the exception of my obgyn when my son was born,

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Speaker 1: in over a decade, and so I reached out to friends.

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Speaker 1: I kind of put the signal up, I need help,

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Speaker 1: and I got in with a lot of specialists. So

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Speaker 1: I got in with the pain specialists, with a back specialist,

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Speaker 1: with a shoulder specialist, with a new doctor. And the

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Speaker 1: last several months I've just been in and out of

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Speaker 1: different testings and getting different information about my injuries and

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Speaker 1: about my body. And I won't get into all the

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Speaker 1: particulars of all the things it's just too much. But

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Speaker 1: I got a lot of answers. I got a lot

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Speaker 1: of answers that have shaken me, but have also been

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Speaker 1: I'm just thrilled to have a name for things. I'm

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Speaker 1: just thrilled to know more about things. And there's been

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Speaker 1: a lot of grief and healing that has come through that,

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Speaker 1: but it's it's actually been really inspiring for me. And

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Speaker 1: so a couple months ago I went and I finally

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Speaker 1: got all the MRIs I needed on my bones, my spine,

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Speaker 1: and on my shoulder. And what the findings were was

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Speaker 1: that on this left shoulder I had a full tear

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Speaker 1: through my rotator cuff, and so I was going to

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Speaker 1: need to go in get some muscle grafting done, get

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Speaker 1: some bone shavings done, and get you a real repair here.

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Speaker 1: And I went in for surgery nearly two weeks ago

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Speaker 1: and did just that. I had the surgery that I needed.

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Speaker 1: My doctor said I needed to get it pretty quickly.

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Speaker 1: He felt very strongly that I should not go on

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Speaker 1: my book tour without getting this because it was deteriorating

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Speaker 1: quite a bit and that it may be harder or

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Speaker 1: get a greater injury if I decided to do that. So,

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Speaker 1: I mean, obviously everything happens for a reason, and I

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Speaker 1: believe in divine alignment. Nothing for me will miss me.

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Speaker 1: But it is kind of a heavy load if you

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Speaker 1: have been planning for something for a year and then

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Speaker 1: all of that has to change, like right leading up

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Speaker 1: to it, like a few weeks before it kicks off.

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Speaker 1: It has to change and you have to kind of

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Speaker 1: get prepared to really focus on something else. So that's

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Speaker 1: kind of been where my head is. And what has

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Speaker 1: been really interesting in the healing of this, which has

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Speaker 1: brought so much grace for myself, is I had my

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Speaker 1: follow up appointment with my surgeon and he had all

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Speaker 1: the images printed out for me, right, which I'm like, ill, gross,

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Speaker 1: Like I don't want to see the inside of my shoulder.

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Speaker 1: And one of the things that he said to me,

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Speaker 1: and mind you for those that follow sports, like this

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Speaker 1: is like a season ending injury. And I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 1: a meditation teacher, why do I have a season ending

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Speaker 1: injury in my body? But when he was walking me

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Speaker 1: through the images and talking to me about how surgery went,

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Speaker 1: one of the things that he said was that this

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Speaker 1: is one of the worst cases of this injury that

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Speaker 1: he's seen, and he went on to show me images

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Speaker 1: of how bad this injury was, and I mean it

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Speaker 1: was gnarly, like there I had. I had a huge

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Speaker 1: hole in my tissues and in my muscles. I was

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Speaker 1: completely detached. And you know, something he said to me

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Speaker 1: is like, how have you just been living with this?

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Speaker 1: Like when did this pain first start? I'm like five

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Speaker 1: years ago and he was like, how have you been

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Speaker 1: living like this? And it was just so interesting to

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Speaker 1: have that reflected back to me and to kind of

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Speaker 1: really think of that. It did not occur to me

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Speaker 1: to rest. It did not occur to me to get

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Speaker 1: bigger medical treatment. It did not occur to me to

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Speaker 1: really seek help. It's just my instant feeling was more pain.

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Speaker 1: You know what to do with this? Add it to

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Speaker 1: the list, keep going right. And so just like the

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Speaker 1: kind of validation of someone else kind of looking at

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Speaker 1: you and being like, woman, what is going on? And

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Speaker 1: you know you have such a gentle life, like why

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Speaker 1: were you carrying this load? But surgery went well and

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Speaker 1: I'm healing and I will have this thing on from

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Speaker 1: a book tour, which I did not want, but it's here,

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Speaker 1: and I'm just grateful to be healing. You know. I

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Speaker 1: think full recovery will be like right around the six

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Speaker 1: month mark, and it's beautiful, deeply well, you know, one

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Speaker 1: of the things that was coming to me, I was

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Speaker 1: talking to one of my best friends, Pastor John Gray

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Speaker 1: for those that are familiar, incredible pastor, wonderful, wonderful person

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Speaker 1: and one of my dearest friends for well over a decade.

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Speaker 1: We talked and he prayed for me the day after surgery,

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Speaker 1: and I remember walking into my conversation with him, I said,

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Speaker 1: I said, Okay. I was like John, my prayer to

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Speaker 1: God is accelerated healing, like I know how to heal,

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Speaker 1: and I have all the biohacking tools. I'm gonna do this.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna do that. I'm getting acupuncture every two days,

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Speaker 1: la la la la la. And I was like, accelerated healing,

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Speaker 1: Like accelerated healing. I will be you know, on my

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Speaker 1: book tour like this, like this. And by the end

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Speaker 1: of our conversation, John said, Okay, God has given me

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Speaker 1: a word, and I want you to know that God said,

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Speaker 1: this will not be an accelerated healing. This healing is

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Speaker 1: gonna be harder than you and it's going to take

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Speaker 1: as much time as they said, It's not going to

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Speaker 1: be faster, but it's necessary. It's so so necessary. And

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Speaker 1: he went on to share other beautiful, powerful things with

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Speaker 1: me about why this moment of rest is so necessary

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Speaker 1: for me, which felt very special. And when he said that,

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Speaker 1: there was a freedom. There was a freedom in knowing

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Speaker 1: that I will instantly surrender into patience because as he

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Speaker 1: said that, as he said to me, this will not

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Speaker 1: be an accelerated healing and you will not blow through

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Speaker 1: this quickly. It's going to take what it takes. The

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Speaker 1: first thought that came to me was, Wow, God, that

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Speaker 1: is so fair. That is so fair of you God,

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Speaker 1: And like, wow, what a privilege it is to heal

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Speaker 1: and the time that I'm being told I'll heal in right,

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Speaker 1: Like even if that's outside of my quote unquote perceived

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Speaker 1: window or outside of my preference, like I'm being told

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Speaker 1: I will be healed in this time, and like the

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Speaker 1: miraculous nature of that. How blessed am I to be

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Speaker 1: able to heal from this injury at all, you know,

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Speaker 1: and to have my shoulder And I just felt in

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Speaker 1: such deep gratitude for my body, and I think sometimes

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Speaker 1: for those that live with chronic pain, or have had

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Speaker 1: substantial injuries or surgeries. You know, sometimes there is this

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Speaker 1: first feeling of defeat and this natural depression that comes

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Speaker 1: in when you can't use things the way that you're

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Speaker 1: used to using them, or you can't be yourself in

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Speaker 1: the way that you're used to being yourself. Because one

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Speaker 1: thing that cannot be overstated is being in pain does

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Speaker 1: change you. It changes your personality, It changes who you're

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Speaker 1: able to be with other people. It is this constant

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Speaker 1: running noise that is going on in your body. It's

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Speaker 1: it's like having all the apps open and no one

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Speaker 1: else knows they're open, but they're going and they're draining

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Speaker 1: the battery and you know they're they're processing anyways. And

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Speaker 1: so you know, I was thinking, like my god, Like

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Speaker 1: my god, my beautiful shoulder. Like you had a severe

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Speaker 1: injury that was shocking to your surgeon, and you showed

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Speaker 1: up for me every day. Like these are the shoulders

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Speaker 1: my son sat on top of for years. These are

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Speaker 1: the shoulders that lifted him, that lifted my groceries out

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Speaker 1: of the car and into the house. These are the

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Speaker 1: shoulders that supported my arms and hands and being able

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Speaker 1: to do energy work on people I love. These are

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Speaker 1: the shoulders that supported my maudras and mynama stay poses

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Speaker 1: as I meditated for the peace of my life and

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Speaker 1: my body and for my joy. And these are the

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Speaker 1: shoulders that allow me to share beautiful, deep hugs with

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Speaker 1: the people I'm able to hold in my arms or

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Speaker 1: the people that are able to hold me. And these

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Speaker 1: are the shoulders that were built to support and hold

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Speaker 1: so many things and experiences. And it's just like really

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Speaker 1: deepened my reverence for my own body, you know, for

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Speaker 1: my own body. And it's so interesting, you know, because

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Speaker 1: whenever I think any of us are sick, especially if

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Speaker 1: you catch something like the flu or stomach virus, you know,

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Speaker 1: something more than the common cold, something that sits you

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Speaker 1: down for a little bit, even if it's just today.

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Speaker 1: You know, there is this like immense relief and gratitude

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Speaker 1: that comes in once that lifts right, like once you're

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Speaker 1: out of this cold or once whatever you know, the

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Speaker 1: situation is, once that bug passes, it's kind of like, ah,

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Speaker 1: I can be myself again, I can think again, I

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Speaker 1: can feel again, you know, the the quiet after the storm,

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Speaker 1: and noticing and allowing sometimes that depression or that confusion

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Speaker 1: about the pain to come in and be just that

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Speaker 1: there's so much power in that. The first few days,

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Speaker 1: and again because she was delusional, Honey, when I came

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Speaker 1: home from surgery, I literally thought I would be on

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Speaker 1: a flight to Miami a couple of days later, Like

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Speaker 1: I had all these plans of making it to a

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Speaker 1: friend's event that they invited me to in Miami. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, yeah, I'll be on a plane in

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Speaker 1: a couple of days. Back to work by surgery Monday,

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Speaker 1: back to work by Wednesday. In not in y'all know me,

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Speaker 1: not in no girl boss kind of way or anything

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Speaker 1: like that, but just yeah, I think I can take

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Speaker 1: some zoom meetings by Wednesday. I think I can wrap

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Speaker 1: my brain around things and you know, have some responses.

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Speaker 1: And then you come home and you're like, no, I

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Speaker 1: have There's nothing more important than sleep, than eating good foods,

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Speaker 1: than doing absolutely nothing and surrendering into the patience of that,

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Speaker 1: because there is nothing more important than I could or

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Speaker 1: should be doing right now. Then listening to my body

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Speaker 1: and being patient with my body and letting it heal

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Speaker 1: from you know, a three to four hour surgery, And

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Speaker 1: so yeah, I just I was I was finding gratitude

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00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,280
Speaker 1: in new ways. I've been talking with friends a lot

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Speaker 1: as someone that became a teacher because of the path

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Speaker 1: of pain. You know, pain has been my teacher in

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Speaker 1: so many ways in life. And I've had a lot

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Speaker 1: of dark teachers too, and experiences with harder energies and

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Speaker 1: people to lead me to light and to lead me

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Speaker 1: to my learning as a healer. And I've been talking

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Speaker 1: with friends about you know, we can learn through anything.

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Speaker 1: And I think what's so important, especially if you have

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Speaker 1: been on a path of pain as the teacher, the

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00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 1: power of transcending that form of learning into being able

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Speaker 1: to learn through the twinkle of an eye, or learn

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Speaker 1: through joy, or learn through observation like that is the

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00:27:26,760 --> 00:27:33,520
Speaker 1: profound right of passage that happens once you have learned

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Speaker 1: enough in that way and get to step into a

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00:27:37,000 --> 00:27:45,119
Speaker 1: new path. But honestly, for the seasons that any of

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00:27:45,200 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 1: us are in a learning through pain, Pain's undefeated as

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Speaker 1: a teacher. Pain is profound. And what I've come to

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Speaker 1: understand is that one of the reasons pain can sometimes

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00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:13,080
Speaker 1: be a more catalystic or complete or potent teacher than

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00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:19,760
Speaker 1: joy is because pain is so faceted, like pain is

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Speaker 1: so faceted and what we can glean from it and

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00:28:25,160 --> 00:28:29,000
Speaker 1: where we can uncover it and how we can learn

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00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:33,960
Speaker 1: from it. For example, in this experience of healing with

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Speaker 1: my shoulder and pain, and again in this chapter, I

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00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:42,520
Speaker 1: am learning how to understand pain in a new way

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00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:45,480
Speaker 1: through my physicality and through my biology, and through my

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00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 1: surrender to what the biological makeup of my body is.

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Speaker 1: I'm also getting the glimpse of learning about pain in

434
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,960
Speaker 1: a couple new ways. Right. I haven't had major surgery before,

435
00:29:00,120 --> 00:29:04,000
Speaker 1: or at a deviated septum at some point many years ago,

436
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 1: but that wasn't like a major surgery, and it wasn't

437
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:12,320
Speaker 1: a surgery that changed anything visually, and the recovery was

438
00:29:12,520 --> 00:29:17,680
Speaker 1: for me very very simple and easy. But I got

439
00:29:17,720 --> 00:29:23,280
Speaker 1: to learn now what the pain of surgery is, what

440
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:26,520
Speaker 1: the pain of this kind of recovery is, what the

441
00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:30,480
Speaker 1: pain of patience with my physical body is. I'm given

442
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:34,800
Speaker 1: the chance to learn specifically what bone pain feels like,

443
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 1: which is something, oh, take your breath away, entirely different,

444
00:29:40,920 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 1: my God, because in what they did with me, you

445
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 1: drill into the bone, right, and you have a lot

446
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:52,360
Speaker 1: of nerve pain connected. I got to learn what it

447
00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:56,760
Speaker 1: feels like to be on an opioid, right, they prescribe

448
00:29:56,800 --> 00:30:01,840
Speaker 1: some really hardcore stuff for me for the first few days,

449
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:03,840
Speaker 1: and I got to know what it felt like to

450
00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:07,480
Speaker 1: be in that because as an observer, though I've heard

451
00:30:07,520 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 1: all the stories of people that become dependent on opioids

452
00:30:10,880 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 1: and what a huge, huge issue it is for so many,

453
00:30:15,960 --> 00:30:17,920
Speaker 1: I don't know what that feels like. And I didn't

454
00:30:17,960 --> 00:30:21,280
Speaker 1: know why someone would like that or want that until

455
00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:24,680
Speaker 1: this moment, right until feeling like the depths of the

456
00:30:24,720 --> 00:30:28,959
Speaker 1: pain and then the kind of complete numbness and slightly

457
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:32,440
Speaker 1: euphoria you get from certain things, and where that takes

458
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 1: you and what that does, and why someone who maybe

459
00:30:36,960 --> 00:30:39,320
Speaker 1: hadn't yet been able to do some of the inner

460
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:43,920
Speaker 1: work could be so drawn to replicating that feeling, even

461
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 1: at their own demise, over and over again, like I

462
00:30:47,040 --> 00:30:51,120
Speaker 1: get to learn so that I can serve right Like

463
00:30:51,280 --> 00:30:55,360
Speaker 1: I for many years I could speak to emotional pain,

464
00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:59,720
Speaker 1: I could speak to again mental, spiritual pain, observational pain.

465
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 1: And now I get to speak to this particular type

466
00:31:03,600 --> 00:31:06,479
Speaker 1: of pain to anyone I meet on the path, that

467
00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:08,800
Speaker 1: it may be useful for us to be in community

468
00:31:08,800 --> 00:31:11,880
Speaker 1: in that way. And so when I was talking to

469
00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 1: my friend. I was just like, Oh, my god, God

470
00:31:16,080 --> 00:31:20,400
Speaker 1: is so brilliant. You got the lessons are so brilliant

471
00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:24,800
Speaker 1: and faceted if you let them. And when you let them,

472
00:31:25,440 --> 00:31:27,959
Speaker 1: you also give yourself the opportunity to dip in and

473
00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:31,680
Speaker 1: dip out, right, Because I'm choosing to be present and however,

474
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 1: this is manifesting for me right now, which I cannot overstate.

475
00:31:35,680 --> 00:31:39,840
Speaker 1: I'm having reverence for my experience, and I'm sharing my experience.

476
00:31:39,920 --> 00:31:43,560
Speaker 1: And I also know, in comparison to some of the

477
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:47,719
Speaker 1: much harsher and harder things that are going on in

478
00:31:47,840 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 1: humanity right now, or some of the things that some

479
00:31:50,480 --> 00:31:54,720
Speaker 1: people may be facing with their illnesses and with their bodies,

480
00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 1: this is a blip on the radar right This is

481
00:31:57,720 --> 00:32:02,000
Speaker 1: a tiny, tiny pebble in comparison to some of the

482
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:05,000
Speaker 1: ways that this may pre presenting for some of us.

483
00:32:05,880 --> 00:32:07,840
Speaker 1: But this is my teacher right now, and so I'm

484
00:32:07,840 --> 00:32:09,880
Speaker 1: present with it and I'm trying to get as much

485
00:32:09,960 --> 00:32:12,960
Speaker 1: out of it as i can. And that's another thing

486
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 1: that I've learned, is that when we allow ourselves to

487
00:32:15,800 --> 00:32:19,960
Speaker 1: be present with whatever is, whatever is the full truth

488
00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,800
Speaker 1: of the moment, and we stay awake to it and

489
00:32:23,880 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 1: aware to it. We get to learn by dipping in

490
00:32:28,320 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 1: and dipping out. I get to learn about and begin

491
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:37,120
Speaker 1: to be very curious about the things that I stated

492
00:32:37,200 --> 00:32:43,520
Speaker 1: surgical pain, bone pain, significant season injury, season ending injury,

493
00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:51,320
Speaker 1: type pain, opioid connection, and pain. And I get to

494
00:32:51,360 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 1: learn about it in the span of several weeks and

495
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:57,000
Speaker 1: not in the span of something that had to really

496
00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:02,360
Speaker 1: catalyze and be used to teach me for a longer

497
00:33:02,400 --> 00:33:07,680
Speaker 1: period of time. And so I'm sinking into that, I

498
00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:11,920
Speaker 1: am savoring that I am surrendered to the opportunity of this,

499
00:33:12,800 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 1: and I'm grateful for it, and I'm just so grateful

500
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:17,920
Speaker 1: for the people in my life. And I think the

501
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 1: last thing that I would share about this, another reflection

502
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:25,160
Speaker 1: that I have that I hope lands within those listening

503
00:33:25,280 --> 00:33:30,880
Speaker 1: in whatever ways it needs to, is I've learned so

504
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:37,400
Speaker 1: many lessons about receiving and how much tolerance you actually

505
00:33:37,440 --> 00:33:40,680
Speaker 1: have to build within your body and in the way

506
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:44,080
Speaker 1: that you interact with your world to actually be in

507
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:47,840
Speaker 1: a state to receive, so good things can happen to

508
00:33:47,880 --> 00:33:51,880
Speaker 1: you and goodness can find you. And this has been

509
00:33:52,040 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 1: an opportunity for me to see how far I've come

510
00:33:54,800 --> 00:33:57,120
Speaker 1: because I share one of the stories I share in

511
00:33:57,160 --> 00:33:59,959
Speaker 1: my book Living in Wisdom April twenty second, twenty two,

512
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,120
Speaker 1: twenty five. One of the things that I share in

513
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:05,160
Speaker 1: my book is a story about one of my first

514
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:11,759
Speaker 1: breakthrough experiences and being able to receive selfless kindness from

515
00:34:11,800 --> 00:34:17,279
Speaker 1: another person. This story I had of having this incredible

516
00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:20,160
Speaker 1: good Samaritan stay with me once when I had to

517
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:24,120
Speaker 1: visit the hospital, and how triggering that was for me,

518
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:28,480
Speaker 1: but how much it healed my ability to receive forever.

519
00:34:29,160 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 1: That was many years ago, and so through this experience,

520
00:34:33,560 --> 00:34:36,719
Speaker 1: I've been able to see how far I've come and

521
00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:39,480
Speaker 1: how I received with ease. And when I tell you

522
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:43,960
Speaker 1: the floodgates have opened, I think this is like one

523
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:47,280
Speaker 1: of my first times I've ever really shared that something

524
00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:51,640
Speaker 1: physical has happened to me on social media. And physical

525
00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:54,400
Speaker 1: stuff has been happening to me NonStop my whole life,

526
00:34:54,440 --> 00:34:56,879
Speaker 1: but I would just that's just not something I would

527
00:34:56,880 --> 00:35:00,040
Speaker 1: ever share or think to share. And this time I

528
00:35:00,280 --> 00:35:02,160
Speaker 1: just kind of shared. I shared a picture of me

529
00:35:02,200 --> 00:35:06,200
Speaker 1: on the gurney like getting rotator cuff surgery, you know,

530
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:08,840
Speaker 1: like this is what's happening today. This is part of

531
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 1: my life. And that was pretty much it. And when

532
00:35:13,239 --> 00:35:17,239
Speaker 1: I tell you, a flood poured into my life, a

533
00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:22,600
Speaker 1: flood of roses. I received roses and flowers and arrangements

534
00:35:23,040 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 1: from so many people I love, local and in other states.

535
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:36,640
Speaker 1: My sister Angela bought and sent me an ice machine,

536
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:41,680
Speaker 1: so many friends, like just meals after meals after meals,

537
00:35:42,280 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 1: desserts like breakfast, like another. My girlfriend Lauren sent me

538
00:35:47,160 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 1: tackos like it was just like it was just so

539
00:35:49,239 --> 00:35:51,600
Speaker 1: all the things I love, y'all, like food and flowers,

540
00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:54,960
Speaker 1: like come on, that is my love language for all time.

541
00:35:56,400 --> 00:36:00,800
Speaker 1: And it just came in like nothing, you know, like everything.

542
00:36:00,880 --> 00:36:01,360
Speaker 2: And.

543
00:36:03,040 --> 00:36:07,239
Speaker 1: I just said, wow, I'm so comfortable with this, you know,

544
00:36:07,600 --> 00:36:13,680
Speaker 1: like wow, God, Wow, God, I get this and I

545
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:17,560
Speaker 1: get to heal. It's just been so special. It's been

546
00:36:17,600 --> 00:36:20,359
Speaker 1: so special, and it's been so special to also know

547
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:26,399
Speaker 1: that receiving these kinds of things from people I love

548
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:32,080
Speaker 1: and respect and know it's also because my spirit is

549
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,120
Speaker 1: deserving of it, because I am showing up in community

550
00:36:35,160 --> 00:36:37,400
Speaker 1: and all the ways that I can with these people.

551
00:36:37,520 --> 00:36:40,880
Speaker 1: So it is their pleasure, it is their happiness to

552
00:36:40,960 --> 00:36:43,960
Speaker 1: do this for me, to bring me joy, to allow

553
00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:48,359
Speaker 1: me to feel supported, to just make me smile, right,

554
00:36:48,440 --> 00:36:52,080
Speaker 1: because none of that can necessarily be changed. But the

555
00:36:52,120 --> 00:36:55,000
Speaker 1: beauty that got to enter my life because I was

556
00:36:55,280 --> 00:36:59,280
Speaker 1: already prepped and ready for it, I've just been letting

557
00:36:59,280 --> 00:37:02,200
Speaker 1: myself really back asking it. And so as I'm kind

558
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:06,840
Speaker 1: of figuring out how to now shape the release of

559
00:37:06,880 --> 00:37:09,120
Speaker 1: the book and how that will look and how I'll

560
00:37:09,160 --> 00:37:11,640
Speaker 1: be able to show up and still you know, get

561
00:37:11,680 --> 00:37:13,960
Speaker 1: my son to school and loving my baby and live

562
00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:17,680
Speaker 1: in my life like I'm also taking me slow walks

563
00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:21,440
Speaker 1: through my house of smelling roses and smelling flowers and

564
00:37:21,760 --> 00:37:30,960
Speaker 1: just smiling at how rich, rich, rich the soil of

565
00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:35,000
Speaker 1: my life is, how fertile the ground underneath my feet is.

566
00:37:36,840 --> 00:37:45,319
Speaker 1: And I am grateful in the most profound ways, the

567
00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 1: most profound ways. So I'm taking it slow. I'm taking

568
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:54,440
Speaker 1: it slow. I'm being present. You know, it might take

569
00:37:54,480 --> 00:37:57,399
Speaker 1: me thirty minutes to get a shirt on, but why

570
00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:01,240
Speaker 1: can't it Why can't it take that life? There's nothing

571
00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:04,840
Speaker 1: more important than this in this moment. So that is

572
00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 1: where I'm at on my healing journey.

573
00:38:06,560 --> 00:38:07,000
Speaker 2: Y'all.

574
00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 1: Again, thank you so much for just like all the kindness,

575
00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:14,440
Speaker 1: so much kindness and anybody that is watching this show

576
00:38:14,680 --> 00:38:19,080
Speaker 1: and hurting in any way, but especially for my light

577
00:38:19,080 --> 00:38:24,320
Speaker 1: warriors that also live with chronic pain or are having

578
00:38:24,400 --> 00:38:30,400
Speaker 1: to go through initiations, through surgeries, or through diagnoses. You

579
00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 1: are not broken, you are not deficient. Your body is miraculous,

580
00:38:37,320 --> 00:38:40,239
Speaker 1: and there is so much goodness that is still waiting

581
00:38:40,320 --> 00:38:44,760
Speaker 1: for you. And whatever you need to do to feel

582
00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:48,320
Speaker 1: like yourself, even for just a glimpse or a portion

583
00:38:48,480 --> 00:38:51,359
Speaker 1: of the day, there is no more important work than

584
00:38:51,360 --> 00:38:55,719
Speaker 1: you can do than feeding that. And then there's no

585
00:38:55,840 --> 00:38:58,879
Speaker 1: more important work than you can do than stretching your

586
00:38:58,920 --> 00:39:03,760
Speaker 1: capacity to be in patience with the beauty of your

587
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:08,200
Speaker 1: humanity and your human experience with the beauty of your body.

588
00:39:09,280 --> 00:39:14,040
Speaker 1: Healing is possible in the instances that it may feel impossible,

589
00:39:14,040 --> 00:39:17,279
Speaker 1: that it may feel too big. Right now, I just

590
00:39:17,520 --> 00:39:21,120
Speaker 1: really ask and imply with humility, because I don't know

591
00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:24,080
Speaker 1: what anyone's walking through or how much it hurts. I

592
00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:30,400
Speaker 1: can't know that, but I do just want to reflect,

593
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:35,880
Speaker 1: talk to God all day every day about it. Do

594
00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:40,759
Speaker 1: whatever you need to do to create more space, to

595
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:46,319
Speaker 1: find ways even the tiniest slightest smiles, to rev your

596
00:39:46,400 --> 00:39:53,800
Speaker 1: spirit and your system and do whatever is necessary, evolutionary

597
00:39:53,920 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 1: and valuable to feed your ability to be in patience

598
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:06,200
Speaker 1: with whatever is currently present. I offer that with humility

599
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:10,399
Speaker 1: because I know how hard and how isolating and how

600
00:40:10,480 --> 00:40:13,120
Speaker 1: lonely it can be to be on a journey of

601
00:40:13,160 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 1: physical pain. And I really implore everyone that finds themselves

602
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:19,960
Speaker 1: on that journey, do not take no for an answer

603
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:24,160
Speaker 1: from any of your doctors. Do not take do not

604
00:40:24,440 --> 00:40:29,360
Speaker 1: go silently if you're around people that cannot hold space

605
00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 1: for your physical pain. And I want to extend patience

606
00:40:33,640 --> 00:40:36,319
Speaker 1: and grace to both sides of that equation, because it

607
00:40:36,360 --> 00:40:39,880
Speaker 1: is also hard to be in the hearing of things

608
00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:44,760
Speaker 1: that you can't help or fix for others. But whatever

609
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 1: way is necessary, fine community, whether it is with people

610
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,680
Speaker 1: in person going through what you're going through, or it's

611
00:40:51,719 --> 00:40:54,800
Speaker 1: on a reddit and a forum, or wherever you happen

612
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:58,080
Speaker 1: to find yourself, but find a place where you can

613
00:40:58,160 --> 00:41:05,279
Speaker 1: be fully expressed about what it is you're experiencing. And then,

614
00:41:09,680 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 1: in addition to and or if all else fails, do

615
00:41:13,320 --> 00:41:15,319
Speaker 1: what some of the greats that have come before us

616
00:41:15,400 --> 00:41:18,800
Speaker 1: have done. Like one of my favorite muses of all times,

617
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 1: free to call O find a way to make it art.

618
00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:25,719
Speaker 1: If you can't change the suffering, find a way to

619
00:41:25,800 --> 00:41:28,239
Speaker 1: make it purposeful. Find a way to make it art.

620
00:41:28,320 --> 00:41:30,680
Speaker 1: Find a way to make it beautiful. Find a way

621
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:35,120
Speaker 1: to make your life beautiful no matter what. Thank you

622
00:41:35,160 --> 00:41:37,800
Speaker 1: for joining me on this episode. Thank you for listening.

623
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:41,280
Speaker 1: I will be announcing my book tour stops very soon.

624
00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:43,400
Speaker 1: I am going to hit the road. I may not

625
00:41:43,440 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 1: be able to do a lot of hugs, but I

626
00:41:45,000 --> 00:41:47,520
Speaker 1: will be out in those streets. My book, Living in

627
00:41:47,560 --> 00:41:50,319
Speaker 1: Wisdom Again is out April twenty second. I would love

628
00:41:50,360 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 1: it if you pre ordered it. I also did the

629
00:41:52,160 --> 00:41:55,080
Speaker 1: audio book, which was a blast. I love doing it,

630
00:41:55,160 --> 00:41:57,680
Speaker 1: so it's also available for pre order on Audible and

631
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:00,920
Speaker 1: all the places you buy books. Living in Wisdom Debbie Brown.

632
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,000
Speaker 1: If you haven't yet checked out, we have a new

633
00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 1: cover of the podcast that I'm utterly obsessed with. Obsessed.

634
00:42:07,320 --> 00:42:09,920
Speaker 1: It's giving Yacht Rock. I hope you love it, and

635
00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:12,760
Speaker 1: if you haven't yet, I would just love to ask

636
00:42:12,920 --> 00:42:15,880
Speaker 1: if you would go on to Apple and leave a

637
00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 1: five star review and share some words if there is

638
00:42:19,040 --> 00:42:21,759
Speaker 1: a particular episode that has moved you, if there is

639
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:25,960
Speaker 1: anything that you have connected with from me from this show,

640
00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:28,319
Speaker 1: I would just love it if you would please leave

641
00:42:28,360 --> 00:42:31,239
Speaker 1: a review about what you love or like about this

642
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:34,200
Speaker 1: show or how it's met you on your journey. So

643
00:42:34,239 --> 00:42:37,120
Speaker 1: if you could do that on Apple YouTube comments are

644
00:42:37,160 --> 00:42:40,360
Speaker 1: great too, and I will be with you next week.

645
00:42:41,200 --> 00:42:51,120
Speaker 1: Big Love, No Mistaydayday. The content presented on Deeply Wells

646
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:55,319
Speaker 1: serves solely for educational and informational purposes. It should not

647
00:42:55,400 --> 00:43:00,000
Speaker 1: be considered a replacement for personalized medical or mental health guidance,

648
00:43:00,400 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 1: and does not constitute a provider patient relationship. As always,

649
00:43:05,080 --> 00:43:08,359
Speaker 1: it is advisable to consult with your healthcare provider or

650
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Speaker 1: health team for any specific concerns or questions that you

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Speaker 1: may have. Connect with me on social at Debbie Brown.

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Speaker 1: That's Twitter and Instagram, or you can go to my

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Speaker 1: website Debbie Brown dot com. And if you're listening to

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Speaker 1: Well is a production of iHeartRadio and The Black Effect Network.

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Speaker 1: It's produced by Jacqueis Thomas, Samantha Timmins, and me Debbie Brown.

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Speaker 1: The Beautiful Soundbath You Heard That's by Jarrelen Glass from

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Speaker 1: Crystal Cadence. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio, visit the iHeartRadio app,

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