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Speaker 1: Good.

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Speaker 2: All right, break it down.

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Speaker 3: If you ever have feelings that you just won't Amy

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Speaker 3: and Cat gotcha cove and likeing no brother Lady's and pelts,

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Speaker 3: do you just follow anna spirit where it's all the

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Speaker 3: front and real stuff to the chill stuff and the

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Speaker 3: m but Swayne, sometimes the best thing you can do

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Speaker 3: it jes stop you feel things. This is feeling things with.

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Speaker 2: Amy and Cat Happy Tuesday. Welcome to feeling things. I'm

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Speaker 2: Amy and I'm Cat happy. Saint Patrick's Day.

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Speaker 1: Happy, Saint Patrick's Day.

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Speaker 2: M hm, you're wearing green, I am so and you're

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Speaker 2: wearing black, so technically I could pinch you. But you

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Speaker 2: do have a green water bottle.

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Speaker 1: But did you know I came in hot. I have

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Speaker 1: some Saint Patrick's a facts. Do you know originally the

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Speaker 1: color was not green?

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Speaker 2: What was this blue? Why? But I thought it because

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Speaker 2: of the clover and the clover's green.

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Speaker 1: They changed it because of the clover.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 1: But also as I realized it was Saint Patrick's Day,

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Speaker 1: I wondered to myself, what is Saint Patrick's Day?

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Speaker 2: What does you know? I don't, which is it's.

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Speaker 1: Kind of crazy that we have do you Saint Patrick's Day?

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Speaker 1: But none of us know what. I think most people

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Speaker 1: don't know what it's for. It celebrates Saint Patrick bringing

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Speaker 1: Christianity to Ireland. But you know what's even more crazy.

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's not that crazy, I guess I have

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Speaker 1: heard that.

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Speaker 2: It's just so interesting that if that's the origin, why.

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Speaker 1: Do you.

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Speaker 2: Lots of beer? Because the Irish they drink maybe that,

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Speaker 2: and it's like green beer, as everything's green.

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Speaker 1: But also I found out that the first Saint Patrick's

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Speaker 1: Day wasn't even or like the parade wasn't even in Ireland's.

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Speaker 1: It celebrated more I think in America than in Ireland.

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Speaker 2: Oh, I mean that makes sense. We love to have

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Speaker 2: an excuse pity do something.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so happy Saint Patrick's Day.

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Speaker 2: Happy Saint Patrick's Day. I remember when I turned twenty one,

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Speaker 2: I went to bar in College Station. They served green beer,

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Speaker 2: and that's the first drink I was legally allowed to

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Speaker 2: buy because we were there at midnight. So we went

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Speaker 2: on the seventeenth and my birthday is the eighteenth, so

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Speaker 2: when the clock switched to midnight, I was officially twenty

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Speaker 2: one and I could buy my first alcoholic beverage, which

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Speaker 2: was a green beer. Did you enjoy it. I mean

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Speaker 2: it was fine.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, i'd had beer before. No, there's no way that

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Speaker 1: you would have done that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah no, but that's yeah.

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Speaker 1: So well, happy almost birthday.

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Speaker 2: Thank you.

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Speaker 1: How are you.

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Speaker 2: Feeling feel good? Turning forty five or plus five is nine?

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Speaker 2: So I have no idea. I don't know, just kidding.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know if that's how you do it,

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Speaker 2: but I feel like if Cryoka was here, she's not today,

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Speaker 2: but she would have some Oh this is your year

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Speaker 2: of the I'm guessing maybe if you do split the

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Speaker 2: four and the five and add four plus five, does

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Speaker 2: it mean it's my year of the nine?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, And like, what does the nine actually mean?

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Speaker 2: I have no idea.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel I know you're not there yet, but

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Speaker 1: does this feel like any kind of milestone or does

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Speaker 1: this feel like a birthday?

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Speaker 2: I guess I didn't really have a feeling of the

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Speaker 2: day for the episode, so I guess I will say

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Speaker 2: I am feeling older because my birthday is tomorrow, but

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Speaker 2: I'm not feeling old. Okay, so maybe that's because I've

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Speaker 2: been so proactive lately. Like I stretch now, Yeah, I

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Speaker 2: actually physically pay somebody to stretch me small, dude, that

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Speaker 2: also feels old. It's an old activity.

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Speaker 1: We're going to reframe this because stretch labs are popping

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Speaker 1: up everywhere, so they must be hip and cool obviously. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: And when I walk in there are so many hip

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Speaker 2: and young people and they're getting stretched.

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Speaker 1: I bet athletes and stuff go there.

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Speaker 2: I haven't seen any You've just seen older men. I

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Speaker 2: haven't seen any yet.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well, yeah, I know you just started this.

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Speaker 2: I'm really not feeling I feel good, though, I'm not

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Speaker 2: feeling old like I think. There have been birthdays in

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Speaker 2: the past where I felt older than I do now,

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Speaker 2: and I don't know what to attributed it to. Maybe

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Speaker 2: because this is the year of reading for me and

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Speaker 2: I've been reading way more.

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Speaker 1: You would think that that would make me feel a

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Speaker 1: little old.

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Speaker 2: No, I think it's exercising my brain. Oh, like I'm

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Speaker 2: on a good probiotic. I just feel like my gut health,

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Speaker 2: my brain health, my ligament health. We're feeling good.

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Speaker 1: Okay, you know good?

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Speaker 2: So yeah, good the big four or five. So that's

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Speaker 2: my feeling of the day. What's yours.

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Speaker 1: Uh, I'm feeling really tired but really excited because I'm pregnant.

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Speaker 2: It gets pregnant, I get so nervous.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: I knew that that was gonna be your feeling of

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Speaker 2: the day. So I was like eagerly waiting and smile

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Speaker 2: like trying to be like, okay, let's get I was like,

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Speaker 2: let's like, I know I'm gonna be like and speaking

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Speaker 2: of birthdays, Cat is gonna be birthing a baby.

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Speaker 1: Do you want to share what you wanted to say?

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Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, your baby's gonna be of Italian descent.

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Speaker 1: I thought you were saying, like a baby's gonna descend

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Speaker 1: from you.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, your baby will descend from you and your

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Speaker 2: Italian lineage. And then I was like, ooh, it's like

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Speaker 2: you're cooking a little lasagna and you're in you're little

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Speaker 2: you got a little lasagna in the oven. But really

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Speaker 2: it's not the size of a lasagna. The baby is

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Speaker 2: the size of a line So Kat told me a

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Speaker 2: couple of weeks ago, or.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I told you when I was seven weeks pregnant, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I had I told Patrick. I was like, I've got

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Speaker 1: to tell Amy because it is really hard for me

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Speaker 1: to like talk to you but not tell you what's like.

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Speaker 1: I was so tired, like another level, and it was

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Speaker 1: just like eating it. I was like, I can't keep

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Speaker 1: it phels, like I'm lying to her. I have to

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Speaker 1: tell her why I'm tired, or like you were going

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Speaker 1: to figure it out anyway.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well I kind of thought, because well, are you

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Speaker 2: talking about the other stuff you do?

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Speaker 1: Well yeah, okay, well no, but I was just tired

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Speaker 1: in general. I didn't think you would figure that out.

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Speaker 2: I thought you were were tired because of that stuff

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Speaker 2: to say what that is?

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Speaker 1: Okay, say, I've been like saying.

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Speaker 2: I was like doing like an injection into my butt

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Speaker 2: because Kat was doing fertility treatment type stuff, and I

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Speaker 2: knew from the shots you were tired.

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Speaker 1: Yes, So I did IVF. So I did take progesterone

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Speaker 1: shots in my booty every single night, and those like

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Speaker 1: put you to sleep. So that was a good excuse

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Speaker 1: because people knew I was doing that because I it

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Speaker 1: impacted like my social life, like I couldn't go out

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Speaker 1: past a certain time because I had to go home

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Speaker 1: and do my shot. But or you, I knew you would.

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Speaker 1: You wouldn't pick up on that because well I assumed

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Speaker 1: you when I guess you could have googled it. You

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Speaker 1: didn't know like you hadn't haven't done that, so you

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Speaker 1: wouldn't have known, like what that means that I'm doing

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Speaker 1: those shots? Yeah, but like other people like my sister,

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Speaker 1: if she knew I was doing the shots, she knew

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Speaker 1: where I was in the process, right you know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, So you came over to my house with Patrick

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Speaker 2: and you gave me a T shirt that says Auntie Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and it's so cute. And that's how you told it. Well,

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Speaker 2: at first I opened it up. You were like, hey, Patrick,

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Speaker 2: and I just want to drop something off real quick.

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Speaker 2: I was like, okay, and so did you know? I

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Speaker 2: didn't know. Okay, I absolutely did not know. I thought

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Speaker 2: you were giving me something because what what was going

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Speaker 2: on with me during that time? I was I thought

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Speaker 2: you were just trying to you were having a hard time, yeah,

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Speaker 2: And I thought you were trying to make me happy.

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Speaker 1: Shoot, I thought you were.

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Speaker 2: Just bringing no, no, no, no like it did I want

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Speaker 2: happy to know? But I thought you were like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I want to bring you this because that's what you said.

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Speaker 1: You decided me.

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Speaker 2: You said I saw something that reminded me of you,

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Speaker 2: which I guess the shirt did. But you acted like

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Speaker 2: maybe you were out and about, and you saw something

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Speaker 2: and you were like, oh, this, I'm going to get

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Speaker 2: this for Amy. So then you act like you had

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Speaker 2: to drop it off, which you did, and then I

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Speaker 2: opened it up and it was a shirt that says

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Speaker 2: Antie with a little bow. It was so cute.

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Speaker 1: I was like okay, and I said, do you know

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Speaker 1: what that means? And you're like, yes, yes, it's like

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Speaker 1: your little kid. Do you know what that means?

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Speaker 2: I got I understood what it meant. But anytime I

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Speaker 2: think of Antie, I think of the Anti Ann's pretzel

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Speaker 2: that I had in the Denver Airport at Terminal D.

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Speaker 1: Which you did bring that up.

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Speaker 2: Oh really, No, it's like anytime because there's a bow

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Speaker 2: and the bow kind of looked like a pretzel too. Yes,

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Speaker 2: And I think that that pretzel was so life changing. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: that was in December that I ate that pretzel. And

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Speaker 2: now anytime the word anti is mentioned, I think of

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Speaker 2: that pretzel.

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Speaker 1: Take me back.

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Speaker 2: It was so delicious. So Cat's pregnant.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's been a long process. I don't know why.

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Speaker 1: I feel so like every time I've told somebody, I

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Speaker 1: get so nervous. But I don't know why, because it's

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Speaker 1: good news.

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Speaker 2: It's exciting.

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Speaker 1: Maybe I wouldn't say. I'm usually somebody who doesn't like

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Speaker 1: a lot of attention on me, but I think I

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Speaker 1: am learning as I get older. I'm okay having attention

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Speaker 1: on me, but I don't want it to be about me,

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Speaker 1: if that makes sense. Like I'll tell a story or whatever,

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Speaker 1: but I would rather tell a story about you. You know, yeah,

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Speaker 1: maybe that could be wrong.

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Speaker 2: Well, I love checking in with you to see what

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Speaker 2: fruit you are. Like I'll ask you what fruit are

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Speaker 2: you today, and you're like, it's a blueberry. And then

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Speaker 2: it's been other things like a golf It has not

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Speaker 2: always a fruit, because sometimes it was a golf ball,

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Speaker 2: but then now it's a line.

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Speaker 1: It's always a fruit. There's the app I have. You

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Speaker 1: can look at it in like different categories like a fruit.

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Speaker 1: One of them's Disney. It's like Disney objects sports. That's

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Speaker 1: really weird. It's really weird. But some of the fruits

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Speaker 1: sometimes are hard. Like when I was a strawberry, I

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Speaker 1: was like, well, that's hard to understand because strawberries come

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Speaker 1: in different sizes. So then I used the golf ball

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Speaker 1: as mine.

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Speaker 2: That size, that's a big strawberry.

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Speaker 1: That's a big strawberry, That's what I'm saying. So, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: I like to use the fruits.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, mostly got it. Shannon looked up what turning forty

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Speaker 2: five means, I guess in the spiritual realm or what

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Speaker 2: would even call it, or in numerology. I don't know which.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know that I believe any of this,

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Speaker 2: but it's just fun.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Turning forty five is often viewed as the eye of

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Speaker 2: the storm. The eye of the storm signifies a transition

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Speaker 2: where the emotional chaos of youth is behind and the

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Speaker 2: physical realities of later aging have not yet fully set in.

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Speaker 2: It's a period of quiet, allowing for deep reflection. Spiritually,

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Speaker 2: the number forty five can symbolize a need for balance

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Speaker 2: between stability the four, and freedom and adventure the five,

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Speaker 2: encouraging a transformation of one's life.

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Speaker 1: Who do you think writes these things?

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Speaker 2: Though? The people from a long time ago?

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Speaker 1: Like, could I just start a website and like make

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Speaker 1: meanings for every birthday?

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't think so, because numerology has been

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Speaker 2: around for a really long time, Like even like in

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Speaker 2: the Bible, numbers are used for symbolism.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so I could do that. But I would not.

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Speaker 1: I would be like.

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Speaker 2: Just making up a phony. Yeah, used to be phony,

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Speaker 2: and I don't want to be that.

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Speaker 1: And there is some something to some of this sometimes, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: do you relate to any of this?

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Speaker 2: Well, it's also the year of the Horse, right, m hm,

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Speaker 2: I'm feeling some of that.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 2: I looked it up one day and then I got

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Speaker 2: really confused because we were in the Year of the

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Speaker 2: Snake maybe yeah, and then we were transitioning and now

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Speaker 2: this year of the Horse, and it's like a I mean,

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Speaker 2: if it's for real, like this is it's a powerful

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Speaker 2: year for me. Not only am I turning forty five.

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Speaker 2: It's the year of the horse. Like, I got exciting

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Speaker 2: things happening, We got momentum.

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Speaker 1: Oh. I was gonna say, like, what is like the horse? Like?

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Speaker 1: Is that means something for everybody?

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Speaker 2: Like I guess I would summarize it as like big

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Speaker 2: things popping and happening. That's my that's my interpretation. So

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Speaker 2: specifically the year of it's the fire horse. Excuse me,

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Speaker 2: Shannon just looked it up for me. It's a rare,

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Speaker 2: energetic and intense sixty year cycle event associated with rapid change, passion,

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Speaker 2: and at times impulse, impulsivity.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel I told you passion.

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Speaker 2: How it resonates with me is big things popping and happening.

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Speaker 2: I gave you, I tried to give you, my my, my. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I'm paraphrasing it for myself. And so far in Q.

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Speaker 1: One, you're popping. Big things have been popping.

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Speaker 2: Like I don't know when we transition to the Year

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Speaker 2: of the fire Horse, because it wasn't like January one,

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Speaker 2: it was a couple it was the Chinese New Year, right. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: people that are listening right now, it's totally into this.

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Speaker 2: They're like, oh my gosh, y'all are butchering this. But

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Speaker 2: I will say I've stepped forward into some things that

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Speaker 2: I've wanted to do for a long time. I'm stepping

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Speaker 2: into them finally, like stuff I've had on the burner,

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Speaker 2: Like I literally had a meeting this morning that is

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Speaker 2: taking another step towards something I really wanted to do

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Speaker 2: for a while. And I'm going to take another step

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Speaker 2: and another step, like it will happen this year, and

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Speaker 2: so obviously it's happening this year because it's the Year

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Speaker 2: of the fire Horse.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it has to.

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Speaker 2: And I have been making some bold moves like there

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Speaker 2: was a transition in our company with somebody, and instantly

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Speaker 2: when I saw it, I thought, oh my gosh, I

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Speaker 2: need to send some emails. So I did based on

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Speaker 2: what I saw happening, and I was proactive. I don't

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Speaker 2: know that last year I would have had that same energy.

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Speaker 2: I think I would have been like, oh, well, that's interesting.

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Speaker 2: I hope maybe they call me. But instead of hoping

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Speaker 2: they call me, I put my name in the hat

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Speaker 2: immediately with multiple people. I even talked to Bobby about it,

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Speaker 2: and he gave me advice of like he goes, make

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Speaker 2: it so obvious and send it to so many people

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Speaker 2: that if, in fact they do have to end up

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Speaker 2: telling you no, they're gonna hate it. It's gonna feel awkward.

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Speaker 2: They're gonna hate telling you no. And I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: tell me more like that bit of people it was,

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Speaker 2: but I just went I was like, oh, well, I'm

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Speaker 2: going to take this advice that I'm being given and

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna go for it. I think that whatever

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Speaker 2: this energy is, I guess I am feeling it, whether

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Speaker 2: it's like because I know it's the year of the

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Speaker 2: fire Horse, and I want to lean into that energy.

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Speaker 2: Or just naturally happening, because maybe there's a lot of

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Speaker 2: that energy going around, but I'm seeing things through a

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Speaker 2: different lens, and there is more of a mph about me.

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Speaker 2: That's being like the text messages and the emails that

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Speaker 2: I sent and I fired off, and they're already leading

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Speaker 2: to something like got an opportunity to fly to Austin

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Speaker 2: and host a red carpet thing that I was not

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Speaker 2: slated to do. But then that might lead to something

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Speaker 2: that come up in LA, which might lead to something

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Speaker 2: that come up in New York, which might lead to

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Speaker 2: something that I really want to do in Austin in May.

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Speaker 2: But I don't know if it will. But I'm gonna.

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to. I'm not sitting back and waiting to

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Speaker 2: be like, oh, maybe that will happen. And I feel

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Speaker 2: like I have had that energy before, which is okay.

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Speaker 1: It's also, I think easy for a woman. I think

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Speaker 1: that's what we're taught to do. Like when you were saying,

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Speaker 1: Bobby told you to make it so uncomfortable for them,

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Speaker 1: women are taught to make people feel comfortable, and so

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Speaker 1: it's extra effort for us. That's not like our go

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Speaker 1: to I mean, some people Obviously people have different personalities,

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Speaker 1: but I think generally, as a woman, our go to

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Speaker 1: is to like I'm gonna wait for them to come

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Speaker 1: to me and be polite about it and not like

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Speaker 1: ruffle any feathers versus I get to be bold and

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Speaker 1: go after what I want. That is more masculine energy,

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Speaker 1: which is looked at differently when you're a woman than

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Speaker 1: when you're a man, where it's like he's a go

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Speaker 1: getter and he knows what he wants. She's pushy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I do think that.

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Speaker 1: I not that you're pushy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I do think that. I still was very polite,

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Speaker 2: and I definitely still used like an exclamation point here

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Speaker 2: and there, just to keep it feminine, just to keep

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Speaker 2: that feminine.

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Speaker 1: Energy, I think it.

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Speaker 2: But I did say like sorry for bothering you, or

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Speaker 2: you know you, it's okay, If not, it's okay. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I didn't. I left out all of that language like

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Speaker 2: all good if you've got another person in mind, yeah,

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Speaker 2: or hate to bother you.

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Speaker 1: I just was.

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Speaker 2: I was short and brief and to the point, but

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Speaker 2: I was still kind and thoughtful and polite. I think

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Speaker 2: I hope they just see it as like oh Amy's

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Speaker 2: eager I had no idea she would even want to

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Speaker 2: do this. We hadn't considered her. Let's put her on

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Speaker 2: the short list. Yeah, and then we'll see what happens.

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Speaker 2: And girl, I feel like there is a boldness in me.

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Speaker 2: And maybe it's just the wisdom of you know, almost

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Speaker 2: being forty five. Now, maybe it's the because yeah, now

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Speaker 2: I'm forty five, which I did see something. Shoot where

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Speaker 2: was it? I don't know, but I saw that for

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Speaker 2: women ages forty five to fifty five can be such

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Speaker 2: a creative season for us. Really, I wonder if part

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Speaker 2: of don't ask me more, because I was gonna say, I.

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Speaker 1: Wonder if a part of that is once you reach

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Speaker 1: a certain age, like you care I'm assuming this is

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Speaker 1: coming from just nothing like maybe you care less about

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Speaker 1: what people think and you're more like, oh, life is short,

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Speaker 1: Like if I want something, I have to go after it.

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Speaker 1: If I want to try something, I'm going to try it.

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Speaker 1: And so you kind of like shut down a little

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Speaker 1: of your ego and so creativity can come out easier.

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Speaker 1: Oh potentially that's just from your therapy, just from the

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Speaker 1: dome as you would say.

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Speaker 2: I mean, I don't I don't hate that reason I

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Speaker 2: also think of depending on when you have kids, you've

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Speaker 2: done a lot of the raising, and then their kids

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Speaker 2: are more at a point where they're self sufficient and

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Speaker 2: they're in school, and you can have more time to yourself,

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Speaker 2: so you have more bandwidth than you had before too.

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Speaker 1: Your brain. The space has been opened up again for

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Speaker 1: you to to do that.

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Speaker 2: I'm feeling I guess literally had a feeling and then

381
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Speaker 2: it just left my brain. So this is also this

382
00:18:24,200 --> 00:18:28,159
Speaker 2: is also an age where pyramidopause does that and just

383
00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:30,959
Speaker 2: things escape your brain. But Shannon did just look it up,

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Speaker 2: and she said research suggests that ages forty five to

385
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Speaker 2: fifty five often represent a peak period for experimental creativity,

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Speaker 2: which relies on experience, knowledge, and refined skills rather than

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Speaker 2: the rapid conceptual leaps of youth. I'm in my golden age.

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Speaker 1: Maybe you can be more creative because there's already more thoughts.

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Speaker 2: In your brain. Yeah, and also because I'm reading more.

390
00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:06,800
Speaker 2: Don't sleep on reading.

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Speaker 1: I read with my ears. I know.

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Speaker 2: I think that if you consume books through audio or reading,

393
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:21,720
Speaker 2: even if you're consuming it through audio, you're still imagining

394
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,520
Speaker 2: a whole story in your mind. You're still having to

395
00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:27,520
Speaker 2: use parts of your brain that you wouldn't if you're

396
00:19:27,560 --> 00:19:30,040
Speaker 2: watching a TV show, the work is done for you.

397
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:35,080
Speaker 2: I think whether you're reading or listening, you're still exercising

398
00:19:35,119 --> 00:19:38,680
Speaker 2: your brain in a way that is creative and opening

399
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,960
Speaker 2: up certain parts that you don't get to always use.

400
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:44,800
Speaker 2: So I think listening or read, I mean I do

401
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,160
Speaker 2: both obviously, and I do think that it has been

402
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:51,440
Speaker 2: just a little nugget this year. There's been a gift. Yeah,

403
00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,320
Speaker 2: it's been a gift. I can't explain it.

404
00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,359
Speaker 1: Yay, reading is a gift.

405
00:19:55,560 --> 00:19:56,119
Speaker 2: Yeah.

406
00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:59,480
Speaker 1: So I wanted to say not to make this about

407
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:05,200
Speaker 1: me again, but I did want to say I feel

408
00:20:05,200 --> 00:20:08,880
Speaker 1: like it's important because we've talked about, and we've had

409
00:20:08,920 --> 00:20:11,440
Speaker 1: listeners right in about like infertility and stuff like that,

410
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:15,320
Speaker 1: and I don't want my which this is a little

411
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:17,680
Speaker 1: bit of me people pleasing and all that, but also

412
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:22,800
Speaker 1: it's authentic too. I don't want the pregnancy announcement to

413
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 1: go without also acknowledging that, like hearing that for some

414
00:20:26,080 --> 00:20:28,520
Speaker 1: people could be very hard and I know that, and

415
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,040
Speaker 1: I mean you've talked about, like you know what that

416
00:20:30,080 --> 00:20:32,600
Speaker 1: feeling is like, and so I want to be sensitive

417
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:35,159
Speaker 1: to This is a very exciting season for me, But

418
00:20:35,200 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 1: I know some people are still in this season that

419
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,840
Speaker 1: I have been in, and if you are, then I'm

420
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:46,680
Speaker 1: thinking of you. And I've had a weird relationship with

421
00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:52,080
Speaker 1: our pregnancy journey because we did have to do fertility treatment,

422
00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 1: and I don't mind talking about it. It's not a

423
00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:58,840
Speaker 1: secret at all. We did IVF, and it's not I

424
00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,200
Speaker 1: keep saying like I would ever choose to do that

425
00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,639
Speaker 1: if I didn't have to, Like it's a lot of shots,

426
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:06,160
Speaker 1: it's a lot of appointments, it's a lot of money,

427
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:10,240
Speaker 1: it's a lot of emotional energy. And our experience went

428
00:21:10,320 --> 00:21:16,280
Speaker 1: really well, Like every milestone we had through that process,

429
00:21:17,080 --> 00:21:21,119
Speaker 1: we got relatively good news, and I say relatively for

430
00:21:21,240 --> 00:21:24,760
Speaker 1: like having to do that like no again, And so

431
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,040
Speaker 1: it feels weird when you get to the end of

432
00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 1: it to be like, oh it worked when you were

433
00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 1: in this community so long with people that are struggling,

434
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 1: Like when we left the fertility clinic the last time

435
00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 1: we went and we had like an ultrasound, he printed

436
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:43,159
Speaker 1: off a picture and I remember leaving and somebody, as

437
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,439
Speaker 1: I'm leaving, one of the nurses was like congratulations, And

438
00:21:45,480 --> 00:21:48,520
Speaker 1: I wanted to be like sh and I like hid

439
00:21:48,560 --> 00:21:51,600
Speaker 1: the ultrasound picture when we were walking out, because I

440
00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:53,199
Speaker 1: was like, I don't this is a safe space for

441
00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:54,800
Speaker 1: people that just get to be like, we're all in

442
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:57,679
Speaker 1: this together, and it feels it's like almost survivor's guilt

443
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,760
Speaker 1: kind of like obviously we're so happy, and at the

444
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,280
Speaker 1: same time it's like, oh, this is like a it's

445
00:22:04,320 --> 00:22:07,800
Speaker 1: just a weird space, which I imagine other people feel that

446
00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,440
Speaker 1: in different ways, like if you're I mean, if you're

447
00:22:10,600 --> 00:22:13,159
Speaker 1: going through cancer treatment or something, and like you like.

448
00:22:13,359 --> 00:22:16,160
Speaker 2: The hospital you ring a bell, like if you're done

449
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:18,840
Speaker 2: with your radiation when people ring a bell and some

450
00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:22,600
Speaker 2: people are still there for their radiation appointment.

451
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:26,240
Speaker 1: Which I guess also that could be very it's hopeful, yes,

452
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,480
Speaker 1: but when you're the one it's weird, when like you're

453
00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:30,720
Speaker 1: the one that like it's it's this weird survivor's go

454
00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:32,720
Speaker 1: is the only way I know how to describe it,

455
00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:35,600
Speaker 1: where it's like so happy and also it's like, well,

456
00:22:35,640 --> 00:22:37,760
Speaker 1: I want to give a piece of this to everybody.

457
00:22:38,400 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 1: So I just wanted to make sure I said, like,

458
00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,760
Speaker 1: we're so excited. This is a dream come true and

459
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,200
Speaker 1: a prayer answered. And I know a lot of people

460
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:49,240
Speaker 1: are still waiting for their answer, and I don't have

461
00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:51,200
Speaker 1: the right thing to say, but I just want people

462
00:22:51,440 --> 00:22:52,560
Speaker 1: to know I'm thinking of them.

463
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:56,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think, you know, just to piggyback off of that,

464
00:22:57,200 --> 00:23:00,880
Speaker 2: people appreciate hearing that from you, and you're does give

465
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:05,080
Speaker 2: hope and they know they're not alone in it. And

466
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:13,280
Speaker 2: in the emotional expense, the financial expense, the the fear.

467
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:16,880
Speaker 2: I remember for me making the decision to not pursue

468
00:23:16,920 --> 00:23:23,000
Speaker 2: any type of fertility interventions. We did try clonid, which

469
00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:27,119
Speaker 2: is a pill that essentially makes your eggs more attractive

470
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:30,359
Speaker 2: to the sperm. I guess in Layman storms that I

471
00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:33,880
Speaker 2: didn't last very long on that because I suck cuckoo

472
00:23:33,920 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 2: for cocoa puffs on it. And then that led to

473
00:23:37,960 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 2: us going the adoption route. And as you're telling that story,

474
00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,679
Speaker 2: I'm even thinking back to when we were trying to

475
00:23:44,680 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 2: get pregnant and I was like, that was our number

476
00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:50,960
Speaker 2: one prayer, like just I really wanted to get pregnant,

477
00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:55,120
Speaker 2: and that prayer wasn't answered. And then fast forward, now

478
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,800
Speaker 2: we became parents in a way we didn't expect and

479
00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:02,640
Speaker 2: ended up adopting not even our original adoption plan, which

480
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:06,359
Speaker 2: was a newborn from America. We ended up going with

481
00:24:06,520 --> 00:24:11,600
Speaker 2: older children from Haiti and giving them a chance at

482
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:15,520
Speaker 2: life that they otherwise never would have had. And of

483
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 2: course I didn't know during the our fertility struggles that

484
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,399
Speaker 2: that was going to be our ultimate plan. So I

485
00:24:22,520 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 2: share that part of just like if you are in

486
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:28,640
Speaker 2: the season of waiting or you're wondering why is this happening,

487
00:24:29,200 --> 00:24:32,919
Speaker 2: switch the why to what, because there's there is our

488
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 2: question here, what is now possible from this? Okay, we're

489
00:24:35,760 --> 00:24:39,720
Speaker 2: not able to get pregnant, so what are our options now?

490
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:42,840
Speaker 2: And it's either go down the fertility route. But I

491
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:44,639
Speaker 2: did have fear of like, what if we spend all

492
00:24:44,640 --> 00:24:46,680
Speaker 2: this money and do all this energy and it still

493
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,600
Speaker 2: doesn't work, because that is reality for some people. And

494
00:24:51,680 --> 00:24:55,919
Speaker 2: I just felt in my heart like that's just not

495
00:24:56,040 --> 00:24:58,400
Speaker 2: the route we're supposed to go. I felt like adoption

496
00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,359
Speaker 2: was more of a guaranteed thing if we're going to

497
00:25:01,400 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 2: put a lot of emotions and energy and finances, which

498
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:07,280
Speaker 2: adoption is all of the above as well. So it's

499
00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:13,679
Speaker 2: same but different. And that's where we landed and I

500
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:17,119
Speaker 2: wouldn't change that. So just know if you are on

501
00:25:17,119 --> 00:25:20,040
Speaker 2: that journey or it's not going exactly how you thought.

502
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:24,920
Speaker 2: There is hope for a different a journey. It literally

503
00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 2: maybe looks so different than what you had pictured in

504
00:25:27,600 --> 00:25:32,080
Speaker 2: your mind, because my situation certainly does. And if you

505
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:35,840
Speaker 2: have a desire to be a mom or dad, it

506
00:25:36,080 --> 00:25:39,240
Speaker 2: just may look a little different than how you thought.

507
00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 1: Yeah, there was I've shared this before, but there was

508
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,520
Speaker 1: somebody that told me when I was talking about like

509
00:25:44,680 --> 00:25:48,560
Speaker 1: struggles with infertility and creating a family whatever that looks like.

510
00:25:49,359 --> 00:25:51,280
Speaker 1: She's also a therapist, and she said she tells her

511
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:54,880
Speaker 1: clients like, just because you aren't getting what you want,

512
00:25:54,920 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 1: it doesn't mean you get nothing. And that was very helpful.

513
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,080
Speaker 1: Like that even makes me like tear up a little

514
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,560
Speaker 1: bit that like, Okay, I have to be I need

515
00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:06,160
Speaker 1: to create some flexibility in my mind. That like I've

516
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,520
Speaker 1: had this idea of what creating a family will look like,

517
00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:11,400
Speaker 1: But just because that doesn't happen doesn't mean I get

518
00:26:11,440 --> 00:26:15,040
Speaker 1: nothing at all. There's still so much one there's still much,

519
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:18,479
Speaker 1: so much other stuff in my life outside of just

520
00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:22,760
Speaker 1: having children, So that's where I also can pool from.

521
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,399
Speaker 1: But also like having children might look different, and that

522
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:29,160
Speaker 1: doesn't mean I get nothing. I was thinking that when

523
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 1: you were talking about like your journey was different. Quote again,

524
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,200
Speaker 1: just because you didn't get what you wanted, it doesn't

525
00:26:36,240 --> 00:26:36,960
Speaker 1: mean you get nothing.

526
00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,879
Speaker 2: Just because you didn't get what you want doesn't mean

527
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:43,399
Speaker 2: you get it.

528
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:47,359
Speaker 1: You get nothing. Yeah, and there's a finesse I think

529
00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:51,040
Speaker 1: when sharing that was somebody who's struggling, kind of like

530
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:53,160
Speaker 1: how we've talked about, like there's a finesse with when

531
00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:55,400
Speaker 1: to say what does this make possible? Yeah, we get

532
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 1: to have the moment where we're grieving and we're sad

533
00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 1: and we're like, this isn't what we wanted. And then

534
00:27:00,320 --> 00:27:02,359
Speaker 1: once we were sitting with that for a little bit,

535
00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,399
Speaker 1: then we can open up this idea. Okay, but it

536
00:27:04,400 --> 00:27:06,960
Speaker 1: doesn't mean that you get nothing here, like what do

537
00:27:07,080 --> 00:27:11,119
Speaker 1: you have? And I even I mentioned this kind of

538
00:27:11,160 --> 00:27:14,680
Speaker 1: like incognito months ago, I think on the podcast when

539
00:27:14,680 --> 00:27:16,160
Speaker 1: I was I think it was when we were talking

540
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:20,440
Speaker 1: about the drama triangle when I was saying, like we're

541
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 1: I said, like we're struggling getting pregnant naturally, and I

542
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:27,880
Speaker 1: might have just said shrilling getting pregnant. And I sat

543
00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:30,280
Speaker 1: with that because it was really hard for me at first,

544
00:27:30,320 --> 00:27:34,400
Speaker 1: like I just wanted to like be normal, be intimate

545
00:27:34,440 --> 00:27:37,240
Speaker 1: with my husband, and then like take a pregnancy test

546
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:40,000
Speaker 1: and get to surprise him with it. But it didn't

547
00:27:40,040 --> 00:27:42,800
Speaker 1: look like that at all. It was for me. It

548
00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 1: was awful, and I think he wasn't enjoying the process either.

549
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,720
Speaker 1: I had like seventeen different like ovulation tests that I

550
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 1: was taking, and everything was so timed, and our life

551
00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:54,280
Speaker 1: was like revolved around like Okay, when do I think

552
00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,120
Speaker 1: I'm going to ovulate? And then when I don't, it's

553
00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:59,160
Speaker 1: like then I'm upset. Like then I'm taking seventeen pregnancy

554
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 1: tests and they're all negation, but I'm like, maybe one

555
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,359
Speaker 1: of those wrong, but like, you know, you're not pregnant, right,

556
00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,119
Speaker 1: And so I wanted us to have that like fun

557
00:28:06,119 --> 00:28:09,600
Speaker 1: experience or even I'm like, what if it accidentally happened,

558
00:28:09,720 --> 00:28:13,719
Speaker 1: is that'd be crazy? And so I had to think like, okay,

559
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,280
Speaker 1: just because this isn't easy and this isn't happening this

560
00:28:17,320 --> 00:28:21,840
Speaker 1: way going the IVF route. I'm one hundred percent honest

561
00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 1: when I say this, I would not choose that if

562
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:29,760
Speaker 1: I didn't have to. And I am so grateful for

563
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:32,520
Speaker 1: what it gave to not just a baby, but gave

564
00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:35,600
Speaker 1: to Patrick and I as a couple. It brought us

565
00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 1: so close, Like I got to see him do things

566
00:28:38,360 --> 00:28:42,840
Speaker 1: that like I never imagined him do doing and he

567
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:46,160
Speaker 1: took his role so seriously and it was just a

568
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 1: really sweet moment. And we didn't share. We shared with

569
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 1: people close to us, but there was often details we

570
00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:56,040
Speaker 1: weren't sharing because we were like in this little thing together.

571
00:28:56,720 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: So yes, I didn't want to do that, but I

572
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:03,239
Speaker 1: got something more than like I imagined out of that.

573
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,479
Speaker 2: I love that. Yeah, thank you for sharing that. It

574
00:29:07,520 --> 00:29:11,960
Speaker 2: was special to hear. And also I'm picturing Patrick being

575
00:29:12,040 --> 00:29:16,680
Speaker 2: so sweet and helpful and to Yeah, they were gunning

576
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:21,120
Speaker 2: your butt, like he had.

577
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,160
Speaker 1: To mix all the medicines and put them in this ringe,

578
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: and like we had this like cute little ritual we

579
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,480
Speaker 1: would do when we were doing the progesterone shots, even

580
00:29:28,520 --> 00:29:30,920
Speaker 1: when we were doing the agg retrieval shots too, But

581
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,000
Speaker 1: it was just like it became our little thing, and

582
00:29:33,040 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 1: like it was like, okay.

583
00:29:34,840 --> 00:29:39,480
Speaker 2: Which I know, I'll just say this something that some

584
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:41,680
Speaker 2: of the sacrifices you were having to make, Like everybody

585
00:29:41,680 --> 00:29:46,440
Speaker 2: around you knew what y'all had going on, but other

586
00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:48,640
Speaker 2: like listeners didn't know. Like we had the thing at

587
00:29:48,640 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 2: Top Golf. It turns out you enkep not feeling well anyways,

588
00:29:52,560 --> 00:29:54,400
Speaker 2: but also that was gonna be the first night of

589
00:29:54,440 --> 00:29:56,280
Speaker 2: your shots. Yeah, and they had to be at a

590
00:29:56,320 --> 00:29:58,440
Speaker 2: specific time, and you were like, I can come to

591
00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,120
Speaker 2: the Top Golf event, which we had so many listeners coming,

592
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 2: and I know you wanted to be there, but that

593
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:04,320
Speaker 2: was one of those things where it was like, oh, yeah,

594
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:07,080
Speaker 2: I cat can't be here. But now to see it's

595
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:11,920
Speaker 2: almost like that there's the fruit from that, like you

596
00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:14,400
Speaker 2: had to you really wanted to be there, Like you

597
00:30:14,440 --> 00:30:17,200
Speaker 2: had to sacrifice certain things. And I'm just giving that

598
00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,920
Speaker 2: one as example. There were other things that came up

599
00:30:19,960 --> 00:30:22,160
Speaker 2: where were like, oh I can't do that, or oh

600
00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:24,240
Speaker 2: I've got to get home at this time, or oh

601
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:26,640
Speaker 2: and you can't always explain to people and they don't know.

602
00:30:26,680 --> 00:30:29,480
Speaker 2: And it's like, oh, but now, yeah, because because I

603
00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:31,400
Speaker 2: was trying to make a little baby and now there's

604
00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:33,120
Speaker 2: a baby outside of me, got that.

605
00:30:33,320 --> 00:30:34,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was like I'll come and I'll just go

606
00:30:34,920 --> 00:30:36,520
Speaker 1: to the car and do them. But like some of

607
00:30:36,520 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 1: them had to refrigerated.

608
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 2: It would have been so bad, like for you to

609
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 2: come to Top Golf and I go out feel like

610
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,840
Speaker 2: I come back. No, no, no, you and Patrick need

611
00:30:44,840 --> 00:30:47,240
Speaker 2: adult y'all's like you said you were had your sacred

612
00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 2: little bubble at home where y'all were able to do

613
00:30:51,400 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 2: that together. And I just that's one of those things.

614
00:30:55,440 --> 00:30:57,560
Speaker 2: If somebody happened to be listening right now and they

615
00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:01,080
Speaker 2: were at top Golf for the fun. No, I'm thinking

616
00:31:01,080 --> 00:31:02,760
Speaker 2: they might be listening right now and they might want

617
00:31:02,760 --> 00:31:04,520
Speaker 2: to know, Oh my gosh, that's what that's what was

618
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:06,160
Speaker 2: going on with Cat, Like that's so cool and now

619
00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 2: she's pregnant.

620
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:09,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, And what's interesting about that is I was thinking,

621
00:31:09,840 --> 00:31:12,760
Speaker 1: like at first I wasn't feeling good, but I was like,

622
00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:16,000
Speaker 1: I'll figure this out, like we'll pack a cooler whatever.

623
00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 1: But I would say, if anybody is going through this,

624
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:23,920
Speaker 1: I wasn't aware of how emotional I was gonna be

625
00:31:24,080 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 1: about what we were doing. Like it felt like no

626
00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,600
Speaker 1: big deal to me at first, because I was like,

627
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:30,719
Speaker 1: I've accepted that we're doing this. This is just from

628
00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:32,719
Speaker 1: taking a couple of shots, like no big deal. But

629
00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:35,320
Speaker 1: then when he did it, I had this moment of

630
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,320
Speaker 1: like like I didn't like booho cry, but I did

631
00:31:38,360 --> 00:31:40,560
Speaker 1: tear up and I was like, I'm feeling really emotional

632
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 1: and I was not expecting to feel this way, and

633
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:47,000
Speaker 1: so I am glad that I was at home that night. Yeah,

634
00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 1: because then I'd be like, stuck it up. You got

635
00:31:48,960 --> 00:31:52,440
Speaker 1: to go back in there and act normal. So yeah,

636
00:31:52,520 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 1: that's where I was.

637
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,160
Speaker 2: That's where Cat was, and I was covering for you.

638
00:31:56,480 --> 00:31:59,440
Speaker 2: Don't worry. And I hope you know is those that

639
00:31:59,440 --> 00:32:01,720
Speaker 2: love you want to support you that like we wouldn't

640
00:32:01,920 --> 00:32:04,920
Speaker 2: like you were exactly where you needed to be. Yeah,

641
00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 2: and now I got a baby in your belly.

642
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:10,000
Speaker 1: Baby, Oh, and I can share it's a girl.

643
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:10,800
Speaker 2: It's a girl.

644
00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:14,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it's a girl. Line, it's a girl. It's

645
00:32:14,200 --> 00:32:19,320
Speaker 1: a baby. Girl live, which we when you do IVF,

646
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:24,440
Speaker 1: you could choose if you have both genders or sexes embryos,

647
00:32:24,800 --> 00:32:27,000
Speaker 1: but we didn't look at I don't know. Out of

648
00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,400
Speaker 1: the embryos that we did get, I don't know the

649
00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 1: sex of any of them. So we just said, put

650
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:35,440
Speaker 1: the best one. They grade them like K put the

651
00:32:35,440 --> 00:32:37,520
Speaker 1: best one in. And I was like, I feel like

652
00:32:37,560 --> 00:32:40,560
Speaker 1: it's going to be a boy. Because everybody that I've

653
00:32:40,560 --> 00:32:43,080
Speaker 1: known that's done IVF, not everybody, but most people have

654
00:32:43,160 --> 00:32:46,600
Speaker 1: had boys, So I'm like, maybe male embryos are stronger.

655
00:32:46,600 --> 00:32:49,000
Speaker 1: I don't know, it's a girl.

656
00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 2: It's a girl. I didn't know if you were saying that.

657
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 2: Then I thought, oh, shoot, you just said that there

658
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:54,080
Speaker 2: was a bow on my anti shirt and that the

659
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:55,800
Speaker 2: bow might give away that it's a girl. And I

660
00:32:55,800 --> 00:32:57,200
Speaker 2: didn't know if you were saying anything, so I didn't.

661
00:32:57,360 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 2: I just kept quiet. You're like at a bow and

662
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,320
Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, which reminds me of pretzels.

663
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 1: Well, I didn't even think about the bow for being

664
00:33:05,480 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 1: a girl.

665
00:33:05,880 --> 00:33:06,160
Speaker 2: I don't know.

666
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:08,280
Speaker 1: Did I know it was a girl when I told.

667
00:33:10,120 --> 00:33:11,680
Speaker 2: Yeah, because you put it you had a pink bow

668
00:33:11,760 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 2: on the back.

669
00:33:23,720 --> 00:33:23,960
Speaker 1: Okay.

670
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:26,160
Speaker 2: I know you were excited about this because you have

671
00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,240
Speaker 2: a question that doesn't come up, and you love questions

672
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:29,600
Speaker 2: that don't come up. And I have no idea what

673
00:33:29,640 --> 00:33:30,280
Speaker 2: the question is.

674
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:35,840
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay. So on my drive here, I saw a

675
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 1: brick mailbox, and when I was younger, I in my

676
00:33:40,920 --> 00:33:44,120
Speaker 1: head I was like, Okay, if you have a brick mailbox,

677
00:33:44,440 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 1: you are rich. Like interesting, that is. I'm like when

678
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:50,440
Speaker 1: I went at my friend's house and they had a

679
00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,960
Speaker 1: brick mailbox, I was like, they have money, and so

680
00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:56,000
Speaker 1: I was just wondering because that was one of the

681
00:33:56,000 --> 00:33:59,000
Speaker 1: things in my childhood. I was like, Okay, that equals

682
00:33:59,040 --> 00:34:03,120
Speaker 1: that brick mailbox. Your parents are doing pretty good, so

683
00:34:03,240 --> 00:34:05,120
Speaker 1: are I was wondering. Are there things as a kid

684
00:34:05,160 --> 00:34:09,840
Speaker 1: that you were like, if they had that, they were wealthy? Well,

685
00:34:10,400 --> 00:34:11,920
Speaker 1: and do you relate to the brick mailbox.

686
00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,319
Speaker 2: I have not thought of that. I had a brick

687
00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:16,839
Speaker 2: mailbox growing up, So.

688
00:34:16,840 --> 00:34:19,279
Speaker 1: You were like, yeah.

689
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:23,240
Speaker 2: And we had a pool. Oh my gosh, we were loaded,

690
00:34:23,320 --> 00:34:24,799
Speaker 2: except for behind the scenes we were not.

691
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:27,160
Speaker 1: Because I was going to say. The other thing that

692
00:34:27,200 --> 00:34:28,520
Speaker 1: I think of is like, if you have an in

693
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:30,960
Speaker 1: ground pool, yeah, you also have money.

694
00:34:31,080 --> 00:34:33,880
Speaker 2: Okay, so we we did. I do think obviously there

695
00:34:33,920 --> 00:34:36,400
Speaker 2: was seasons where my dad had money and then he

696
00:34:36,440 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 2: did it, which is one of the reasons why my

697
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 2: parents up getting divorced because my dad went bankrupt. So

698
00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:44,440
Speaker 2: we still we lived in a neighborhood that had money.

699
00:34:44,480 --> 00:34:49,919
Speaker 2: So I don't know that I have this like we were.

700
00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,040
Speaker 2: I never even saw myself as real like I thought

701
00:34:52,120 --> 00:34:54,400
Speaker 2: other people in our neighborhood, which they did, had so

702
00:34:54,480 --> 00:34:56,480
Speaker 2: much more money than we did. But it's like we

703
00:34:56,480 --> 00:34:58,399
Speaker 2: were all still in the same neighborhood, and we were

704
00:34:58,400 --> 00:35:00,960
Speaker 2: a very neighborhood in a bubble, Like our neighborhood was

705
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 2: way far out, like nothing else was around us, and

706
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,880
Speaker 2: it was a golf course community. So I guess I

707
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,680
Speaker 2: would think like the houses that were on the golf course,

708
00:35:10,320 --> 00:35:13,840
Speaker 2: like if their backyard was a hole, yeah, they had money.

709
00:35:13,880 --> 00:35:17,880
Speaker 2: What about like I was across the street, so like

710
00:35:18,239 --> 00:35:20,480
Speaker 2: to only be a I know, but that's part of

711
00:35:20,520 --> 00:35:22,120
Speaker 2: my Like I've had to work through this in therapy,

712
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:26,320
Speaker 2: like my the mental gymnastics I played as a child

713
00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:33,120
Speaker 2: to keep up with the Joneses as a child, obviously

714
00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:34,680
Speaker 2: I didn't have money to keep up. It wasn't like

715
00:35:34,719 --> 00:35:37,440
Speaker 2: I was trying. I wouldn't try to buy things. I

716
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:41,440
Speaker 2: would just try to have conversation or stories that like

717
00:35:41,480 --> 00:35:43,800
Speaker 2: oh yeah, yeah, my parent you know, because my friends

718
00:35:43,840 --> 00:35:46,800
Speaker 2: were my dad had just left and we weren't taking

719
00:35:46,880 --> 00:35:51,160
Speaker 2: like trips or vacations we used to, but then suddenly

720
00:35:51,200 --> 00:35:54,720
Speaker 2: like everything stopped. So I kept up the like, oh, yeah,

721
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:57,960
Speaker 2: we're taking this trip like or we're going here, which

722
00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:01,400
Speaker 2: I'm sure my friend's parents knew our situation, like the

723
00:36:01,440 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 2: adults probably knew. Yeah, I think it was news that like,

724
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:08,000
Speaker 2: my dad left and probably bankrupt, and he found a

725
00:36:08,040 --> 00:36:11,440
Speaker 2: younger wife that thought he had money. I don't know.

726
00:36:13,200 --> 00:36:15,120
Speaker 2: I think for where she was coming from, my dad

727
00:36:15,160 --> 00:36:19,280
Speaker 2: still had money, and then I think she realized like, oh,

728
00:36:19,600 --> 00:36:21,680
Speaker 2: this is going to be more work because he would

729
00:36:21,680 --> 00:36:24,080
Speaker 2: always bounce back. He just had He was like a

730
00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:24,920
Speaker 2: rob condoscer.

731
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:27,280
Speaker 1: He was he was He.

732
00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,960
Speaker 2: Got excited about things, and he wanted to go all in.

733
00:36:30,040 --> 00:36:33,839
Speaker 2: And I loved my dad and I loved his heart

734
00:36:33,880 --> 00:36:36,839
Speaker 2: towards things. I just think, you know, so, did you

735
00:36:36,840 --> 00:36:38,400
Speaker 2: didn't make a lot of the best decisions.

736
00:36:38,440 --> 00:36:41,240
Speaker 1: Did you feel the instability as a kid with money.

737
00:36:41,920 --> 00:36:44,400
Speaker 2: I don't know that I fully felt it. No, I

738
00:36:44,440 --> 00:36:46,520
Speaker 2: don't think I fully felt it. To answer that question,

739
00:36:46,560 --> 00:36:49,839
Speaker 2: I think I had an idea. Something's often something's very

740
00:36:49,880 --> 00:36:52,400
Speaker 2: different about me and some of my friends in this neighborhood.

741
00:36:52,440 --> 00:36:54,799
Speaker 2: So I need to make sure I keep up with

742
00:36:55,680 --> 00:36:57,520
Speaker 2: stories like I'll get real vulnerable with you. I've told

743
00:36:57,560 --> 00:36:59,880
Speaker 2: my therapist this. I've never said it out loud or whatever,

744
00:37:00,840 --> 00:37:04,840
Speaker 2: but I will. No, I guess, okay, okay, my dad's

745
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:12,600
Speaker 2: friend had this farm with horses. It was beautiful and

746
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:15,720
Speaker 2: it was someone my dad also did business with or whatever.

747
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:19,640
Speaker 2: But we had all these pamphlets and like pictures of

748
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:22,480
Speaker 2: these horses or whatever, and I would act like like

749
00:37:22,520 --> 00:37:24,080
Speaker 2: my friends would ask and be like, oh, yeah, we

750
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:26,360
Speaker 2: go there, that's our farm or something.

751
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:31,279
Speaker 1: But that was my that was the facade. That was yeah.

752
00:37:31,280 --> 00:37:33,920
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't have anything to like. I mean,

753
00:37:33,960 --> 00:37:36,160
Speaker 2: these are my friends, like their parents are buying. Like again,

754
00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,160
Speaker 2: I think my mom was trying to do us a

755
00:37:39,239 --> 00:37:42,239
Speaker 2: favor by staying in that neighborhood so that we had

756
00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:47,000
Speaker 2: some stability. She only stayed there because my dad gave

757
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:50,040
Speaker 2: her the house, like he said, you take the house,

758
00:37:50,120 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 2: I'm leaving, it's yours. So for her, moving would have

759
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:57,800
Speaker 2: been an expense. And then also it would have taken

760
00:37:57,880 --> 00:38:00,960
Speaker 2: us away from our friends, our school, like it just

761
00:38:00,960 --> 00:38:03,080
Speaker 2: would have been a disruption. And she was a stay

762
00:38:03,120 --> 00:38:04,839
Speaker 2: at home mom. So then my mom had to get

763
00:38:04,880 --> 00:38:06,719
Speaker 2: a job. So suddenly I went from a mom that

764
00:38:06,800 --> 00:38:08,960
Speaker 2: was home and very present and always around and like

765
00:38:10,440 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 2: played tennis to like she never then I never saw

766
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:18,880
Speaker 2: her go on like play tennis or walk and to

767
00:38:19,160 --> 00:38:23,719
Speaker 2: working all the time. And that was very different. And

768
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:25,960
Speaker 2: where all my other friends their moms, A lot of

769
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,560
Speaker 2: them stayed at home and played tennis, which I'm not

770
00:38:28,680 --> 00:38:30,959
Speaker 2: I'm not like saying like woe is me at all.

771
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:34,440
Speaker 2: It just as a child, you notice something is very different,

772
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:37,360
Speaker 2: and like as I remember as a kid going to

773
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:42,160
Speaker 2: Disney and Hawaii and then that sort of stuff just stopped.

774
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,240
Speaker 2: But I'm in a neighborhood where my friends are still

775
00:38:45,280 --> 00:38:48,680
Speaker 2: having those experiences or their parents are buying new cars

776
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:52,480
Speaker 2: and this and that, and I'm like, oh, yeah, this

777
00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:56,280
Speaker 2: is my horse. I don't know, like it's very sad

778
00:38:56,520 --> 00:38:58,480
Speaker 2: to think back on it, like doesn't make sense. And

779
00:38:58,560 --> 00:39:01,959
Speaker 2: I know exactly who I told that too to this day,

780
00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,959
Speaker 2: and I brought it up in therapy, and I feel

781
00:39:04,000 --> 00:39:05,880
Speaker 2: like I want to call that person and be like,

782
00:39:06,760 --> 00:39:09,239
Speaker 2: I have no idea what I told you that I

783
00:39:09,320 --> 00:39:12,400
Speaker 2: never had a whrse And he might be like, it

784
00:39:12,200 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 2: was it was a guy friend in my neighborhood, and

785
00:39:14,239 --> 00:39:15,640
Speaker 2: he would be like, and you have no idea what

786
00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:19,680
Speaker 2: you're talking about. And he probably doesn't even remember. But

787
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:21,520
Speaker 2: I know I know for a fact if he went

788
00:39:21,560 --> 00:39:24,400
Speaker 2: home and said something about Amy was showing me pictures

789
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:26,279
Speaker 2: of her whatever, I know for a fact his parents

790
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 2: to be like, what she did.

791
00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 1: Not have that how old were you when you did that?

792
00:39:30,840 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 2: Nine?

793
00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:36,240
Speaker 1: Okay, that's different than you're like sixteen? Yeah that actually, yeah.

794
00:39:36,160 --> 00:39:38,799
Speaker 2: I grew out of it. It wasn't a it wasn't

795
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 2: a Thankfully for some it may be a pattern that

796
00:39:42,400 --> 00:39:47,239
Speaker 2: continued continues. It was not a long drawn out thing.

797
00:39:47,320 --> 00:39:50,480
Speaker 2: It's just something. In fact, I remember it so well.

798
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:52,600
Speaker 2: I remember the exact moment and it was on my

799
00:39:52,640 --> 00:39:54,880
Speaker 2: bulletin board and the questions he was asking, and then

800
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:57,040
Speaker 2: I just built this story around his name. Well I

801
00:39:57,440 --> 00:39:59,880
Speaker 2: didn't have okay, if I named it, I don't remember

802
00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:03,319
Speaker 2: that part, but I do remember enough about the experience

803
00:40:03,680 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 2: that it stayed with me as like an icky of like,

804
00:40:06,280 --> 00:40:07,080
Speaker 2: why oh.

805
00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:09,040
Speaker 1: Did I do that? That's so interesting that you feel

806
00:40:09,040 --> 00:40:11,080
Speaker 1: so dick about it? Because when I hear that, I'm like, you,

807
00:40:11,280 --> 00:40:13,799
Speaker 1: sweet nine year old who just was like trying to

808
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:18,000
Speaker 1: like feel like okay and like cool enough or good

809
00:40:18,120 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 1: enough or whatever. I don't I don't feel like, eh,

810
00:40:21,200 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 1: you lose her, you little liar. I'm like, that's actually

811
00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:27,080
Speaker 1: really sweet, and I want to give her a hug.

812
00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:30,239
Speaker 2: I remember too, my mom trying to cut costs of

813
00:40:30,760 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 2: like everything, like there most people aren't even out a

814
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:35,600
Speaker 2: lawn service. That's just the way that I'm so that

815
00:40:35,640 --> 00:40:38,360
Speaker 2: would be enough tun if you have a break mailbox,

816
00:40:38,560 --> 00:40:41,080
Speaker 2: if you have a lawn service or whatever. So then

817
00:40:41,280 --> 00:40:45,080
Speaker 2: my mom had a start. She started doing the yard work,

818
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:46,640
Speaker 2: and then I would try to help her, but then

819
00:40:46,680 --> 00:40:50,160
Speaker 2: I was embarrassed. And then sometimes she wouldn't even have

820
00:40:50,239 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 2: time because she was working full time. In our yard

821
00:40:52,000 --> 00:40:54,040
Speaker 2: would kind of get out of control. And when you're

822
00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:56,400
Speaker 2: again in a neighborhood where all the yards are pretty

823
00:40:57,160 --> 00:41:00,440
Speaker 2: well kept and manicured. I remember I lived in a

824
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:03,440
Speaker 2: cul de sac and my neighbors in the middle of

825
00:41:03,480 --> 00:41:05,600
Speaker 2: the cul de sac. I was obsessed with their house

826
00:41:05,960 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 2: and they would leave town and they would have me,

827
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:10,480
Speaker 2: you know, water their plants and do stuff. And I

828
00:41:10,520 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 2: would go over there and water their plants and pretend

829
00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:13,320
Speaker 2: their house was mine.

830
00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,279
Speaker 1: I'm just watering my house as.

831
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:20,879
Speaker 2: Plays yes, like I live here, and I would think, like, Maud,

832
00:41:20,880 --> 00:41:22,640
Speaker 2: he's so awesome if this is my house. And they

833
00:41:22,640 --> 00:41:25,840
Speaker 2: were literally my neighbor, and I mean my house was fine,

834
00:41:25,880 --> 00:41:28,440
Speaker 2: but I of course I saw all the things raw.

835
00:41:28,520 --> 00:41:31,200
Speaker 2: I just wanted to escape my life. But anyway, back

836
00:41:31,239 --> 00:41:34,520
Speaker 2: to my yard. Sometimes my mom wouldn't get around to it.

837
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 2: And our church, we had a really good church community,

838
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,279
Speaker 2: and they were very great about taking care of my mom.

839
00:41:41,560 --> 00:41:45,239
Speaker 2: And I remember sometimes my sister's boyfriend who she's now

840
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:48,719
Speaker 2: married to, and then my ex husband too. Sometimes our

841
00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:50,640
Speaker 2: pastor would get the youth group, y'all need to go

842
00:41:50,680 --> 00:41:52,600
Speaker 2: over to miss Judy's house and help her with the yard.

843
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:55,160
Speaker 2: And so the boys from the youth group they would

844
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:57,560
Speaker 2: come over and like do the yard for us, which

845
00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:00,879
Speaker 2: was such a sweet gift for my mom or even

846
00:42:00,880 --> 00:42:03,319
Speaker 2: my pastor himself, like sometimes you'd be like, Judy, I'm

847
00:42:03,320 --> 00:42:05,360
Speaker 2: gonna come over and take care of your yard for

848
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,200
Speaker 2: you today, because we had to our front yard. It

849
00:42:07,280 --> 00:42:10,640
Speaker 2: was laborists on my mom. It was a big front yard,

850
00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:14,560
Speaker 2: so it'd take a while to mow, and that was

851
00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:17,160
Speaker 2: really special for me to see. But also I just

852
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:20,400
Speaker 2: felt it was also like embarrassing that it was still.

853
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:22,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's.

854
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:25,840
Speaker 2: Weird because you know, people like I feel even silly

855
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:27,520
Speaker 2: saying this stuff out loud, because people like we want I

856
00:42:27,520 --> 00:42:29,440
Speaker 2: cryme me a river. We're like, okay, Like I had

857
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:34,280
Speaker 2: to get food from the church or food stamps or whatever.

858
00:42:34,440 --> 00:42:38,800
Speaker 2: So every it's all relative, yeah, relative to your situation,

859
00:42:40,480 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 2: and that was just what I was experiencing at the time,

860
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:47,200
Speaker 2: and that my child brain couldn't process and it went

861
00:42:47,239 --> 00:42:53,120
Speaker 2: from living one way to things changing overnight. Yeah, and

862
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 2: so I was just doing the bets that I could.

863
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:57,480
Speaker 1: I don't hear it while I crime me a river.

864
00:42:57,560 --> 00:42:59,400
Speaker 1: I think that that because.

865
00:42:59,200 --> 00:43:00,960
Speaker 2: Because I'm not there now, I'm just thinking of like

866
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 2: where I was.

867
00:43:01,920 --> 00:43:03,960
Speaker 1: That's also you're saying, like I went from this to

868
00:43:04,040 --> 00:43:06,160
Speaker 1: this it was jarring and confusing, and like I was

869
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:08,279
Speaker 1: comparing myself to the people around me. I also had

870
00:43:08,320 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 1: the brain of a nine year old, and that's how

871
00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,400
Speaker 1: much I can Actually that's why like as nine, as

872
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:15,120
Speaker 1: a nine year old, I can see like, yeah, that

873
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,640
Speaker 1: is scary in all this stuff. As an adult, you

874
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 1: can look back and say, okay, this makes sense. It

875
00:43:20,680 --> 00:43:23,000
Speaker 1: actually wasn't my fault. There was nothing wrong with me.

876
00:43:23,160 --> 00:43:25,439
Speaker 1: I was trying to survive all of that. I don't

877
00:43:26,640 --> 00:43:28,399
Speaker 1: I don't want you to feel like you're not allowed

878
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:30,840
Speaker 1: to have feelings about that sounds like a big deal

879
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:32,239
Speaker 1: for a kid to go through.

880
00:43:32,320 --> 00:43:35,640
Speaker 2: I'm okay with it now. But so so anyway, I

881
00:43:35,640 --> 00:43:37,640
Speaker 2: had a brick. I had a brick mailbox.

882
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:40,080
Speaker 1: To bring it back.

883
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:42,920
Speaker 2: I don't have a brick mailbox now though.

884
00:43:43,120 --> 00:43:47,200
Speaker 1: But there are brick mailboxes in your neighborhood. There are, yeah,

885
00:43:47,640 --> 00:43:50,920
Speaker 1: huh there. But what's interesting is like you could have

886
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 1: a brick mailbox in front of like a shack. Like

887
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:58,040
Speaker 1: there's all. It doesn't actually make sense, like a brick

888
00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:01,120
Speaker 1: mallox does not equal that, but in my head as

889
00:44:01,120 --> 00:44:01,759
Speaker 1: a kid, it did.

890
00:44:01,840 --> 00:44:02,040
Speaker 2: It did.

891
00:44:02,160 --> 00:44:04,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, And like I don't have one now,

892
00:44:04,320 --> 00:44:08,239
Speaker 1: and so maybe I've disappointed myself.

893
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:09,000
Speaker 2: But I don't. I don't either. I feel like I

894
00:44:09,080 --> 00:44:11,319
Speaker 2: have that. I like Mi, mine's a cute, little iron one.

895
00:44:12,280 --> 00:44:13,080
Speaker 2: I think it's cute.

896
00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:15,480
Speaker 1: Patrick had a brick mail box in his last house

897
00:44:15,680 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 1: when I met him, and our house now is nicer

898
00:44:18,719 --> 00:44:19,320
Speaker 1: than that house.

899
00:44:19,520 --> 00:44:21,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, so you're like.

900
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:23,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I would not trade the houses for the

901
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:24,480
Speaker 1: brick mailbox.

902
00:44:24,560 --> 00:44:26,879
Speaker 2: Your method of determining.

903
00:44:27,440 --> 00:44:29,719
Speaker 1: But it just was holly to think back and think about, like, oh,

904
00:44:29,719 --> 00:44:30,600
Speaker 1: I used to really think that.

905
00:44:31,160 --> 00:44:33,040
Speaker 2: So that was your questions that don't come up. Yeah,

906
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:36,600
Speaker 2: I'm sorry that led us to that's okay. Somewhere we

907
00:44:36,600 --> 00:44:39,200
Speaker 2: weren't planning on talking like I was gonna it's beauty

908
00:44:39,360 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 2: tell you that we need to have an all girls

909
00:44:42,160 --> 00:44:44,640
Speaker 2: slumber party before you have your baby.

910
00:44:44,800 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 1: Do you want to do that? Well?

911
00:44:46,280 --> 00:44:49,280
Speaker 2: Because I saw this whole thing on adults having slumber

912
00:44:49,320 --> 00:44:53,480
Speaker 2: parties adult women. I mean, I guess guys could have

913
00:44:53,520 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 2: it too if they want. But if you like, when

914
00:44:55,520 --> 00:44:56,920
Speaker 2: you think back to being a child, did you ever

915
00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,400
Speaker 2: have slumber parties with your girlfriends?

916
00:44:58,480 --> 00:45:00,120
Speaker 1: One hundred pcent? But you know, kids don't really do

917
00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:03,200
Speaker 1: that anymore. A lot of kids don't.

918
00:45:03,640 --> 00:45:05,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, but some still do.

919
00:45:06,160 --> 00:45:08,480
Speaker 1: Some still do, but I've learned recently that a lot

920
00:45:08,520 --> 00:45:09,840
Speaker 1: of kids don't do that anymore.

921
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's kind of scary out there. Yeah, I get that,

922
00:45:12,960 --> 00:45:14,880
Speaker 2: But if you've got here, it's very different.

923
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:15,200
Speaker 1: Corp.

924
00:45:15,320 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 2: Yes, as an adult, you don't have to worry about

925
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 2: anything creepy happening. But it was this article I saw

926
00:45:22,200 --> 00:45:27,520
Speaker 2: all shout the person out specifically Jamie Aroona KREM's director

927
00:45:27,600 --> 00:45:32,920
Speaker 2: of the UCLA Center for Friendship Research. Okay, serious legit.

928
00:45:33,920 --> 00:45:37,600
Speaker 2: She did research in a friendship and emotional bonding and

929
00:45:37,640 --> 00:45:40,919
Speaker 2: found that it suggests that shared spaces and extended time

930
00:45:40,960 --> 00:45:44,839
Speaker 2: together strengthens connection and well being. When people feel safe

931
00:45:44,880 --> 00:45:48,080
Speaker 2: and comfortable enough to stay overnight, they are often more

932
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:52,280
Speaker 2: willing to be emotionally vulnerable, and that is the point.

933
00:45:52,760 --> 00:45:58,240
Speaker 2: Sleepovers allow for late night chats, no judgment, laughing until

934
00:45:58,239 --> 00:46:01,840
Speaker 2: you cry, crying until you la, And so what feels

935
00:46:01,840 --> 00:46:05,360
Speaker 2: like a teenage ritual is actually emotional regulation.

936
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:08,080
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm down to have a sleepover.

937
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:09,880
Speaker 2: So maybe it's time to plan an adult sleepover.

938
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:11,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, with no pranks.

939
00:46:12,360 --> 00:46:14,000
Speaker 2: You don't have to have any pranks, like just.

940
00:46:14,040 --> 00:46:15,680
Speaker 1: You know, like they dip your hand in water and

941
00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:18,399
Speaker 1: see if they pee. Did you ever do that while

942
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:19,000
Speaker 1: they're sleeping?

943
00:46:19,680 --> 00:46:19,919
Speaker 3: Yes?

944
00:46:20,320 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 1: And the freezer underwear mm hmm yeah.

945
00:46:22,440 --> 00:46:25,279
Speaker 2: And none of that, no pranks. The requirements would be

946
00:46:25,320 --> 00:46:30,280
Speaker 2: good food, yes, a good movie, es, good maybe question

947
00:46:30,400 --> 00:46:35,880
Speaker 2: card game type things, good games yeah, like board games, activity, good.

948
00:46:35,719 --> 00:46:37,560
Speaker 1: Non alcoholic drinks because.

949
00:46:37,920 --> 00:46:41,200
Speaker 2: You're pregnant and I yeah, and I don't. I don't

950
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:44,800
Speaker 2: think you have to have alcohol. Good little mocktails yeah.

951
00:46:44,719 --> 00:46:47,479
Speaker 1: Or just diet coke. I'd be okay with too, which

952
00:46:47,480 --> 00:46:49,880
Speaker 1: I can't have a lot of that right now. Yeah,

953
00:46:50,160 --> 00:46:52,880
Speaker 1: I can have one every once in a while. My

954
00:46:52,920 --> 00:46:56,239
Speaker 1: doctor said, oh yeah, yeah, don't worry, I check. That's

955
00:46:56,239 --> 00:46:56,640
Speaker 1: what I do.

956
00:46:56,719 --> 00:46:59,440
Speaker 2: Anyways, I probably have one every once in a while yeah, no,

957
00:46:59,480 --> 00:46:59,879
Speaker 2: matter what.

958
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:02,919
Speaker 1: It was more about the artificial sweetener than anything else

959
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:05,400
Speaker 1: in the caffeine. But there's not that much caffeine in

960
00:47:05,400 --> 00:47:07,120
Speaker 1: it anyway.

961
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:12,680
Speaker 2: So sleepover time. Yeah okay, Well, wherever you are, whatever

962
00:47:12,680 --> 00:47:16,120
Speaker 2: you're doing, call some girlfriends, get on together, have a sleepover,

963
00:47:16,920 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 2: and have the day you need to have.

964
00:47:19,760 --> 00:47:22,839
Speaker 1: Bye. Bye,