1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:00,560 Speaker 1: Was hosting. 2 00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:04,760 Speaker 2: It was called Nick Cannon's Fresh Faces of Commony, and 3 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,560 Speaker 2: that's what made me realize, Okay, this shit over here 4 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:10,559 Speaker 2: is my responsibility that out there is gonna go whether 5 00:00:10,640 --> 00:00:12,640 Speaker 2: or not I'm here or not, and get all this 6 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:14,760 Speaker 2: shit together on my own and somebody. 7 00:00:15,040 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: That's how Nick met me. 8 00:00:16,000 --> 00:00:18,680 Speaker 2: I was outside talking to myself getting my set together 9 00:00:19,000 --> 00:00:20,840 Speaker 2: because the dude at the comedy club told me I 10 00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,800 Speaker 2: couldn't talk about none of this shit that I planned 11 00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:24,960 Speaker 2: on talk about the first time I was going up 12 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,560 Speaker 2: there to do the show in New York. Always find 13 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:30,320 Speaker 2: it funny that niggas can be a real nigga everywhere 14 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 2: except for in their house. Get into a position where 15 00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:39,040 Speaker 2: everybody wanted something from me, to realize that the only 16 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:41,720 Speaker 2: shit that really mattered was what I can get in myself. 17 00:00:42,840 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 2: Know that they were just asking me how I was feeling. 18 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:48,040 Speaker 2: To ask me for something right after made me do 19 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,600 Speaker 2: something that I had never done in my life prior 20 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:54,880 Speaker 2: to that point. And that's duck the responsibility necessary to 21 00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,800 Speaker 2: have in the conversations with these people. 22 00:00:56,840 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 1: I ain't never dunck nothing in my life. 23 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 3: Now, niggas know me to the salute loan exactly my man, 24 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:05,759 Speaker 3: my man, loans old loan, new loan. 25 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 2: Okay, okay, okay, it's up there and stuck that when 26 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:13,600 Speaker 2: it's up there, man, it's stuck there. 27 00:01:13,760 --> 00:01:14,240 Speaker 4: Shut up. 28 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:17,479 Speaker 1: One. 29 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:19,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, I have been booed, but it was on purpose, 30 00:01:20,520 --> 00:01:22,520 Speaker 2: like I knew the booze was coming. Like I went 31 00:01:22,560 --> 00:01:25,560 Speaker 2: to Dallas and I'm in and this is when I 32 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:28,399 Speaker 2: first performed in front of Martin, my first time meeting Martin. Right, 33 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,399 Speaker 2: I'm on the show. It's a group show now with 34 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:34,480 Speaker 2: the big toys. When you see all of these different guys. 35 00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:35,360 Speaker 1: When you have a. 36 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:42,039 Speaker 2: D Ray and Martin and uh, you know, Ricky Smiley 37 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:45,320 Speaker 2: and Corey Hokum and all them dudes on one show, 38 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:47,800 Speaker 2: that's the pot. Look, that's when you bring your dish 39 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 2: to the big show, you know what I mean. The 40 00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:53,360 Speaker 2: comedy club is where you your skill. I had what 41 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,280 Speaker 2: twenty I had twenty minutes. 42 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:59,320 Speaker 1: That's twenty minutes. But at this point it's a set. 43 00:01:59,400 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 4: That's a lot. 44 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:00,880 Speaker 1: Yeah it is. 45 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 2: But for me, I was just in awe the fact 46 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 2: that I'm getting ready to perform in front of a 47 00:02:07,880 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaker 2: nigga that I idolized as a young nigga. 48 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,440 Speaker 1: So I'm like, what can I do. 49 00:02:15,480 --> 00:02:20,440 Speaker 2: To separate myself in this moment in front of this 50 00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:23,160 Speaker 2: person that can seen every kind of comedy that exists 51 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 2: at the highest level. Like it's very rare that I 52 00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 2: want to impress other men in any capacity, but in 53 00:02:29,840 --> 00:02:32,839 Speaker 2: that capacity, I was like, I want to impress this 54 00:02:32,880 --> 00:02:37,240 Speaker 2: man because he's impressed me for so many years. 55 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:38,160 Speaker 1: Not even knowing who I am. 56 00:02:38,200 --> 00:02:39,960 Speaker 2: And then he just greeted me and said he was 57 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:42,040 Speaker 2: glad to meet me and gave me level. I want 58 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:46,240 Speaker 2: him to I want him to see that I'm one 59 00:02:46,320 --> 00:02:48,959 Speaker 2: of them once, you know what I'm saying. I want 60 00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:51,440 Speaker 2: him to see that in this moment. So I came 61 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:55,160 Speaker 2: out and you know, I'm in Dallas, and you know 62 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:56,680 Speaker 2: I always rap, you know what I mean, That's just 63 00:02:56,720 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 2: always something I do. And it's a song called us 64 00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,359 Speaker 2: south Side as the Realists. That a big song in Dallas. 65 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,799 Speaker 2: So I came out and I got the from like 66 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:05,640 Speaker 2: every time I hear this song, it made me feel 67 00:03:05,680 --> 00:03:07,959 Speaker 2: like I'm from Dallas, you know what I mean, I'm 68 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,800 Speaker 2: the cheek o. It's the realist. Know you're gonna Phillis. 69 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,400 Speaker 2: You know what did I say? Know You're gonna Pheelis. 70 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 2: Know that I'm the illest that I get to rapping 71 00:03:16,040 --> 00:03:17,800 Speaker 2: and I'm like, you know what I mean, pockets on 72 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:20,520 Speaker 2: Swoon flow is so cold and mind you at this 73 00:03:20,600 --> 00:03:24,000 Speaker 2: point they all the way into the ride. Hey, I'm like, 74 00:03:24,040 --> 00:03:26,519 Speaker 2: the Cowboys ain't never gonna win the Super Bowl? 75 00:03:27,200 --> 00:03:27,560 Speaker 3: Boom. 76 00:03:29,600 --> 00:03:32,960 Speaker 2: Nigga fucking Like, how did you get nigga Washington Football team? 77 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 2: Fuck y'all? You should have waited. That's what's wrong with niggas. 78 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,000 Speaker 2: We niggas rap to your name. You think you know 79 00:03:38,040 --> 00:03:41,400 Speaker 2: a nigga? No, And then just that and then being 80 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 2: able to turn them around that quick, that was what 81 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:48,400 Speaker 2: I had to do. And for me to stand down 82 00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:50,160 Speaker 2: in that moment like I'm gonna come out and say 83 00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:52,880 Speaker 2: I'm talking about everybody, Hey. 84 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 1: The Cowboys ain't Boom, I'm like a nigga fuck y'all. 85 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 2: And and that I did was a level of audacity 86 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,240 Speaker 2: that most people don't have the fearlessness to be able 87 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:08,000 Speaker 2: to do on stage, especially in that moment, Like because 88 00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 2: I'm nervous, as nervous, I get nervous before every show. 89 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,160 Speaker 2: I've always told myself, if it's a show and I 90 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,120 Speaker 2: ain't getting nervous, that I mean, I don't accomplished everything 91 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,520 Speaker 2: I'm supposed to accomplished. So I still get nervous before 92 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,040 Speaker 2: I touch every stage. But once I get out there 93 00:04:20,040 --> 00:04:22,480 Speaker 2: and hear my voice, you know, it's clockwork. 94 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 3: I'm doing my thing. But so that's how you get 95 00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:29,200 Speaker 3: through it. But you get nervous, you just recognize this 96 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:30,360 Speaker 3: is part of the pasThe. 97 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's just what it is. Yeah, I just because 98 00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,840 Speaker 2: I want to. You know, like I said, my work 99 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:38,159 Speaker 2: is my work. I want my work to be something 100 00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,840 Speaker 2: that people are proud to, you know what I mean, 101 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,760 Speaker 2: say that they saw. So I'm always like, let me 102 00:04:42,800 --> 00:04:46,120 Speaker 2: make sure I give my best. But in that moment, 103 00:04:46,200 --> 00:04:48,640 Speaker 2: I'm like, nah, I want to show this nigga. How 104 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,720 Speaker 2: raw I am like, you know, because I don't necessarily 105 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,760 Speaker 2: have the same capacity that most people do. It's like, 106 00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 2: if you know you can do something, or if you 107 00:04:56,480 --> 00:04:58,159 Speaker 2: know you that man, you ain't got to show up 108 00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,960 Speaker 2: and announce it. You know, the loud nigga and the 109 00:05:00,080 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 2: room as usually the motherfucker trying to prove something and 110 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 2: then probably to himself. Mostly for me, I don't do 111 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,320 Speaker 2: none of that, you know what I mean. But when 112 00:05:07,320 --> 00:05:09,640 Speaker 2: I want to and when I feel it, I'm like Man, 113 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,760 Speaker 2: I'm about to show this person how much of a 114 00:05:12,920 --> 00:05:15,560 Speaker 2: dog I am at this shit because I want you 115 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:17,800 Speaker 2: to leave here more than even the people. I want 116 00:05:17,800 --> 00:05:19,599 Speaker 2: the people to leave here with that perspective. But I 117 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:23,080 Speaker 2: want you to leave here knowing that your influence gave 118 00:05:23,560 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 2: me disability to be able to take the positive game 119 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,680 Speaker 2: that you laid down and do this with it. I 120 00:05:28,720 --> 00:05:30,720 Speaker 2: want to give you that because you mean so much 121 00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:33,679 Speaker 2: to me in my career and my life and my moment. 122 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,640 Speaker 2: I ain't had no daddy, so nigga, you kind of 123 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:37,359 Speaker 2: helped raise me being able to sit in front of 124 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,080 Speaker 2: that TV while my mama wouldn't handle business and watch 125 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:42,320 Speaker 2: you and laugh. So the fact that you are in 126 00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:45,160 Speaker 2: front of me right now and I'm a peer of 127 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:48,719 Speaker 2: yours in theory, I want you to be able to see, man, 128 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,680 Speaker 2: a Slim, the work that you put in has impacted 129 00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:54,240 Speaker 2: the next generation to this capacity, and I'm one of 130 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,400 Speaker 2: your understudies, whether you know it or not. And look 131 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,719 Speaker 2: what I'm able to do from your tutelagit. 132 00:05:59,120 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: If you will. 133 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,120 Speaker 4: Some dope shit, How did you get into comedy? 134 00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:02,600 Speaker 2: Uh? 135 00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:04,359 Speaker 1: I went to college and. 136 00:06:06,560 --> 00:06:09,360 Speaker 2: Eight I started doing it in eight Yeah, I graduated 137 00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:10,200 Speaker 2: from college and I. 138 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:14,159 Speaker 1: You know, went to Winston Salem State Like, oh, nigga, 139 00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:16,280 Speaker 1: what that's how you start? You know what I mean? 140 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:17,279 Speaker 1: And I was the first. 141 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:19,720 Speaker 2: I was the last class of comedian that came in 142 00:06:19,839 --> 00:06:23,120 Speaker 2: was before social media, you know eight social media what 143 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,640 Speaker 2: and't it was just Facebook for real. It wasn't no 144 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 2: you know, social media that you can capitalize off with comedy. 145 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:32,599 Speaker 2: So I still was having to go do the open mics, 146 00:06:32,640 --> 00:06:34,920 Speaker 2: and you know, I started at the Greensboro Comedy z 147 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,880 Speaker 2: On in Greensboro, North Carolina. And I did that purposefully 148 00:06:37,920 --> 00:06:40,240 Speaker 2: because it's like, I got to make a name here, 149 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,960 Speaker 2: because whenever I go to these places, do they tell 150 00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 2: me you got to go to make it? Then I 151 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 2: need to have somebody that I can come back to 152 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:49,120 Speaker 2: and and that's going to support me, whether or not 153 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,240 Speaker 2: they believe I'm the ship or not. So I got 154 00:06:51,240 --> 00:06:53,040 Speaker 2: to build this following and I'm gonna do it right 155 00:06:53,040 --> 00:06:55,000 Speaker 2: here where it's not a hot bed of comedy, where 156 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:59,520 Speaker 2: ain't nobody necessarily coming to look for nobody that's comedic talent. 157 00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 2: If I can come up out of here with a name, 158 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:03,599 Speaker 2: then it's gonna make them respect me when I go 159 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,599 Speaker 2: to these places, and even if they don't when I 160 00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:07,800 Speaker 2: touched that stage, the work that I've been doing in 161 00:07:07,839 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 2: these places to make these people fuck with me. When 162 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:12,920 Speaker 2: you do this shit every night, You're gonna see the difference, 163 00:07:13,120 --> 00:07:15,680 Speaker 2: right bright exactly. 164 00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:17,880 Speaker 1: You know what I mean. So when I graduated. 165 00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:20,040 Speaker 2: When I graduated, I went to get a job where 166 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 2: I did my internship at and they told me I 167 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,520 Speaker 2: was gonna be making six twenty five cent an hour. 168 00:07:24,560 --> 00:07:26,480 Speaker 2: And I was like, I'm not because like the hustler 169 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:29,480 Speaker 2: in me just wouldn't allow me to go the route 170 00:07:29,480 --> 00:07:31,480 Speaker 2: that they say you supposed to go. Like I'm saying, 171 00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:33,880 Speaker 2: like we've been talking about that social customary thing that 172 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 2: we believe in, subscribing to the group thing. I didn't 173 00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:39,120 Speaker 2: went and did this, and you telling me I'm about 174 00:07:39,160 --> 00:07:41,280 Speaker 2: to be making lesson I was making when I got 175 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 2: my first job bagging up groceries at thirteen. 176 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: Nah, I'm not okay with that. 177 00:07:48,360 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 2: So I went home, went through the whole process of 178 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:53,320 Speaker 2: figuring out what I was gonna do. My man Jerome 179 00:07:54,080 --> 00:07:55,840 Speaker 2: had told me, man, you need to try comedy, because 180 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 2: I was hosting all this shit on campus in college 181 00:07:58,280 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 2: and doing all the step shows and all that, but 182 00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:03,000 Speaker 2: I'm like, I ain't never want to be no comedian, nigga. Like, 183 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:06,680 Speaker 2: I ain't really I like comedy. I study comedy because 184 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,640 Speaker 2: I enjoy, you know, the craft of it. But I 185 00:08:08,640 --> 00:08:11,200 Speaker 2: ain't never wanted to be no comedian. He was like, Bro, 186 00:08:11,280 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 2: I'm telling you, Bro, you need to get his shit 187 00:08:12,840 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 2: to try it. Bur you funny as fuck. But I'm like, 188 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 2: I'm funny to you because you my man, nigga. I 189 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:20,120 Speaker 2: ain't walking around goofy nigga out Like my perception was 190 00:08:20,160 --> 00:08:22,880 Speaker 2: different of what it took to be in this space. 191 00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,800 Speaker 2: So he was like, man, they got an open mic 192 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,840 Speaker 2: at the comedy Zone. Let's just go look and watch it. 193 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:30,120 Speaker 2: So it was first and second Thursday of every month. 194 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,720 Speaker 2: That first Thursday, I went and watched everybody bomb Nigga. 195 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:35,920 Speaker 2: I was just like, well, I at least can do 196 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,640 Speaker 2: this fucked up. So that next week I was getting 197 00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,800 Speaker 2: my whole four minutes together, because that's the only time. 198 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:43,320 Speaker 2: All the time you got was four minutes. I went 199 00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 2: the next Thursday, went and did my four minutes, and 200 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:47,760 Speaker 2: when I got off stage, I swear to god, it 201 00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,240 Speaker 2: was like I felt it. I said, this is what 202 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:50,559 Speaker 2: I'm supposed to be doing this it. 203 00:08:51,440 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 1: That's how it came to I've been doing it ever 204 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:53,560 Speaker 1: since that day. 205 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 4: Quick do you write, Joe's how long take to write? 206 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 1: I don't write. I don't. 207 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,760 Speaker 2: I write the idea down in min That's how I'm now. 208 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,640 Speaker 2: My mind is different, man. You know what I'm saying, Like, No, 209 00:09:05,040 --> 00:09:07,360 Speaker 2: I don't want to lose an idea, but I talk 210 00:09:07,440 --> 00:09:09,559 Speaker 2: to myself like I get it together in my own mind. 211 00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:11,599 Speaker 2: It's just the way my mind work, you know what 212 00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:14,200 Speaker 2: I'm saying, Like, I've embraced the parts that the shit 213 00:09:14,280 --> 00:09:17,200 Speaker 2: that for me doing the type of work that I 214 00:09:17,240 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 2: do and prior to being a comedian. It's made me 215 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 2: embrace the things that people are going to say about 216 00:09:23,559 --> 00:09:27,079 Speaker 2: you that caught that justify you being crazy, quote unquote, 217 00:09:27,320 --> 00:09:29,120 Speaker 2: like the fact that I talk to myself and walk 218 00:09:29,160 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 2: around in the circle and get all this shit together 219 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:32,600 Speaker 2: on my own and somebody. 220 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 1: That's how Nick met me. 221 00:09:33,880 --> 00:09:36,520 Speaker 2: I was outside talking to myself getting my set together 222 00:09:36,840 --> 00:09:38,760 Speaker 2: because the dude at the comedy club told me I 223 00:09:38,760 --> 00:09:40,640 Speaker 2: couldn't talk about none of this shit that I planned 224 00:09:40,679 --> 00:09:42,800 Speaker 2: on talk about the first time I was going up 225 00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:45,000 Speaker 2: there to do the show in New York at Gotham 226 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 2: Comedy Club. This was my first time ever performing in 227 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 2: a major comedy club, and you know New York is 228 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,760 Speaker 2: the mecca stand up comedy. So I got in there. 229 00:09:53,840 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 2: Dudes like, I don't know who you are. You can't 230 00:09:55,640 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 2: say this, you can't say, you can't curse, she can't 231 00:09:57,520 --> 00:09:59,480 Speaker 2: say the N word. We want to. You know, this 232 00:09:59,520 --> 00:10:01,679 Speaker 2: is a dis time show. So at that point, that's 233 00:10:01,679 --> 00:10:03,040 Speaker 2: what I thought. I was great to go up there 234 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:06,079 Speaker 2: and do my death jam shit. So he was like, no, 235 00:10:06,120 --> 00:10:10,400 Speaker 2: you can't do that. I'm outside reworking my whole set. 236 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,680 Speaker 2: I got ten minutes. I'm out there walking around in 237 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,199 Speaker 2: the circle talking to myself, getting this shit together, like yes, 238 00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:18,400 Speaker 2: I'm gonna do this. Nick comes in seize me outside 239 00:10:18,440 --> 00:10:21,400 Speaker 2: talking to myself. He don't know me from a can 240 00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,720 Speaker 2: of paint at this point, but he see me talking 241 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:25,800 Speaker 2: to myself because I'm really into it. I don't care 242 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,319 Speaker 2: that nobody's looking at me. I'm in my own bubble, 243 00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,760 Speaker 2: like getting my shit together. Fast forward. 244 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,360 Speaker 3: I'm gonna come holler at that though. We see somebody 245 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:37,280 Speaker 3: on the vibe like we're gonna say he's serious about this. See, 246 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:38,959 Speaker 3: he didn't know what I was doing. You did we 247 00:10:39,720 --> 00:10:43,280 Speaker 3: in New York. I'm just a crazy nigga talking to myself. Yeah, yeah, 248 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:43,760 Speaker 3: you know what I mean. 249 00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,000 Speaker 2: I'm just another nigga outside running around in the circle 250 00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:50,320 Speaker 2: talking to itself. Fast forward, I do my show Rock 251 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:54,560 Speaker 2: that Bitch Kill It, and I'm talking about what just happened. 252 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,800 Speaker 2: I'm talking about the fact that this nigga just seen 253 00:10:56,840 --> 00:10:59,320 Speaker 2: me outside talking to myself getting this shit together because 254 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,400 Speaker 2: this white man and just told me what the fuck 255 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 2: I couldn't do. And I ain't had no choice because 256 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:07,720 Speaker 2: I'm broken. I need the opportunity. That was my whole set, 257 00:11:08,120 --> 00:11:10,320 Speaker 2: talking about what happened to me that day. When I 258 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,199 Speaker 2: get off stage, Nick stopped me. I mean, stop me 259 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 2: in my tracks. He grat He's supposed to be going 260 00:11:15,480 --> 00:11:18,640 Speaker 2: up to introduce the next comedian. He grabbed me, a 261 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:22,280 Speaker 2: A was you just outside making that ship up that 262 00:11:22,360 --> 00:11:25,040 Speaker 2: you just did. I'm like, yeah, I was. He said, Man, 263 00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,800 Speaker 2: I'm around some of the best in the game. They 264 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,840 Speaker 2: can't do what you just did. Keep working. That was 265 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:32,719 Speaker 2: his and that's how that's how we met. That was 266 00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:37,040 Speaker 2: our first him again, Dolly, that went, but that was 267 00:11:37,240 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 2: almost two years after that. 268 00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,400 Speaker 3: But I just wanted to connect it, but that's crazy. 269 00:11:41,520 --> 00:11:43,640 Speaker 3: So he what was he in the building for. He 270 00:11:43,679 --> 00:11:44,199 Speaker 3: was hosting it. 271 00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,680 Speaker 2: He was hosting it was called Nick Cannon's Fresh Faces 272 00:11:46,679 --> 00:11:51,400 Speaker 2: of Comoedy. Dolly Damn Dolly making their phone call saying, 273 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:52,960 Speaker 2: I got some guys in North Carolina. 274 00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:53,480 Speaker 1: That's funny. 275 00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:55,200 Speaker 2: You should give him the opportunity to come up here 276 00:11:55,240 --> 00:11:57,600 Speaker 2: and do the show. And that's he was like, all 277 00:11:57,679 --> 00:11:59,760 Speaker 2: I bet book them because he was looking for new talent, 278 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:01,440 Speaker 2: but not for a while'n out. He was just looking 279 00:12:01,440 --> 00:12:03,679 Speaker 2: for new talent because that's just something Nick does from 280 00:12:03,720 --> 00:12:06,320 Speaker 2: time to time. He just try to find new talent. 281 00:12:06,840 --> 00:12:08,800 Speaker 2: And it was a fresh phrase is of comedy. My 282 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:11,720 Speaker 2: man beat out who we used to do the FFCS 283 00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:14,160 Speaker 2: with my freestyle funny comedy show that I started doing 284 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 2: in North Carolina. He went up the first week and 285 00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,400 Speaker 2: did it, and then I came up that second week 286 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 2: and did it. And that's what happened. When I came 287 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,880 Speaker 2: and walked in the club, he was like, all right, 288 00:12:23,800 --> 00:12:26,240 Speaker 2: Chico Bean, Okay, who are you. I'm like, I'm on 289 00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,600 Speaker 2: the list. I'm performing. He was like, what are you? 290 00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,080 Speaker 2: What are you doing this? Because they got more than 291 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,000 Speaker 2: one room. I'm like He's like, Oh, you're in the 292 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,560 Speaker 2: main room or you're on that Nick Cannon show. All right, 293 00:12:34,880 --> 00:12:37,040 Speaker 2: so you know what type of material do you do? 294 00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,400 Speaker 2: I'm like, you know, comedy, nigga? 295 00:12:39,440 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 1: Fuck? 296 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,160 Speaker 2: You mean, what type of material do I do? I 297 00:12:41,200 --> 00:12:44,040 Speaker 2: ain't never had to answer no question like that. Yeah, 298 00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:46,640 Speaker 2: So he like, and what type of material you? 299 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 1: Are you dirty? Are you cleaning? Or what are you mind? You? 300 00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,160 Speaker 2: I'm fresh into doing come out a year and a 301 00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:55,960 Speaker 2: half in. I'm like, nigga, I I do comedy. 302 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,199 Speaker 1: Like, what do you mean do I curse? 303 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 2: Yeah? 304 00:12:57,600 --> 00:13:00,199 Speaker 1: Well do you talk about sex? Yeah? Do you say 305 00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:01,079 Speaker 1: the N word? Yeah? 306 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:02,760 Speaker 2: Well, you can't do any of that in here. Got 307 00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:05,200 Speaker 2: to be clean, you got to do this. You can't 308 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:05,760 Speaker 2: do any of that. 309 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,160 Speaker 4: So that's why you was outside. 310 00:13:07,200 --> 00:13:09,360 Speaker 2: And that's why I was outside because everything that I 311 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,280 Speaker 2: planned on talking about, this man just told me that 312 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:14,440 Speaker 2: I'm not going to be able to say in this club. 313 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:18,560 Speaker 2: And I could have been a rebel and went up 314 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 2: there and just did this shit anyway and fucked my 315 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:23,280 Speaker 2: opportunity up to ever be able to come back into 316 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:25,600 Speaker 2: that space again. And I don't know who this person is, 317 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:27,960 Speaker 2: and I know that this is the biggest opportunity that 318 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:31,640 Speaker 2: I have gotten up until that point, and I'm up 319 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:34,120 Speaker 2: there on the strength of somebody who I love to 320 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:38,080 Speaker 2: death's word and recommendation. So I don't want to fuck 321 00:13:38,160 --> 00:13:40,360 Speaker 2: up what she gotna have to deal with tomorrow when 322 00:13:40,400 --> 00:13:42,520 Speaker 2: I take my ass back down here to the comedy 323 00:13:42,600 --> 00:13:45,560 Speaker 2: zone in North Carolina. So I'm gonna make sure that 324 00:13:45,600 --> 00:13:48,080 Speaker 2: I go out here and do that. Most motherfuckers in 325 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:49,960 Speaker 2: that position would have just said fuck it and left 326 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:53,440 Speaker 2: because they can't do what I was able to do. 327 00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:55,959 Speaker 2: But I'm just, you know, the way my mind worked. 328 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,480 Speaker 2: I've always just been a special, big headed motherfucker that 329 00:13:59,520 --> 00:14:02,160 Speaker 2: can go out and do different things at a level 330 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,480 Speaker 2: that most people can't do and they can't understand. 331 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:05,800 Speaker 1: And I always embraced that. 332 00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:08,240 Speaker 2: So I went out and talked to myself and I'm 333 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,960 Speaker 2: talking about I'm out there full fledged, like I know, 334 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:15,640 Speaker 2: and this nigga walk in and I'm all the way. 335 00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:18,040 Speaker 2: I'm not even saying I sing. I'm aware of my surroundings, 336 00:14:18,040 --> 00:14:20,040 Speaker 2: but I'm locked into what I'm doing. And when I 337 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,880 Speaker 2: got on stage, the first thing I did was talk 338 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 2: about what just happened, and when I did my wild'n 339 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,760 Speaker 2: out audition two years later, when I first walked into 340 00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,520 Speaker 2: the audition room, that minds you, my man did tells 341 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:35,760 Speaker 2: this story so crazy because we went together. He went 342 00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:39,600 Speaker 2: in and you know, he does his whole little spell 343 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:42,560 Speaker 2: and they ain't really fucking with it when he leaves out. 344 00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:45,600 Speaker 2: And this is from him telling me his perspective of it. 345 00:14:45,680 --> 00:14:47,920 Speaker 2: When I walk into the room. He said, within the 346 00:14:47,960 --> 00:14:51,200 Speaker 2: first couple of fifteen seconds of you being in the room, 347 00:14:51,440 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 2: all I heard was that bitch r erup with laughter, nigga. 348 00:14:54,640 --> 00:14:56,400 Speaker 2: And he said, that's when I knew I didn't make it. 349 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 2: He said, when after you, I heard that laughter that 350 00:14:58,640 --> 00:15:00,400 Speaker 2: came out the room when you walked in, I knew 351 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,440 Speaker 2: it was over with. But for me, when I walked in, 352 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:10,600 Speaker 2: I'm not talking about the preparation that I had driving 353 00:15:10,720 --> 00:15:13,680 Speaker 2: up here for this. I'm talking about what's in front 354 00:15:13,720 --> 00:15:17,120 Speaker 2: of me because I want you to see that this 355 00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:21,200 Speaker 2: is naturally who I am. I don't have to practice 356 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,640 Speaker 2: being me like me. Being me is what I want 357 00:15:24,640 --> 00:15:27,040 Speaker 2: people to subscribe to, and that's what I want you 358 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 2: all to see because no matter what position you put 359 00:15:29,720 --> 00:15:31,240 Speaker 2: me in, this is who I'm going to be in 360 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:31,840 Speaker 2: that position. 361 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:33,440 Speaker 1: So I want you to know what you're getting. 362 00:15:33,440 --> 00:15:35,880 Speaker 2: So when I walked in the audition room, a dude 363 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,760 Speaker 2: named Dorian Salute to the O G. 364 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:38,520 Speaker 1: Doran Man. 365 00:15:38,560 --> 00:15:40,400 Speaker 2: He was sitting in the room and he big old dude, 366 00:15:40,440 --> 00:15:42,760 Speaker 2: you know what I mean, big nigga, and he was 367 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:46,080 Speaker 2: just mugging, just like, man, what's up? 368 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:46,360 Speaker 1: Nick? 369 00:15:46,440 --> 00:15:47,920 Speaker 2: He was like, I, Man, I remember you, man, You 370 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,640 Speaker 2: my man from you know what I mean, dolly homeboy, man, 371 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:52,720 Speaker 2: my man from the joint. I was like, yeah, I 372 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:55,800 Speaker 2: appreciate you, Nick, but who your man right here? 373 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,800 Speaker 1: Man? What's wrong with him? What's up with slim big man? 374 00:15:58,880 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 1: You good? I need to be I need to be worried. 375 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,880 Speaker 1: Big as niggas? Why you ain't Why you just staying 376 00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:05,560 Speaker 1: there looking at me. 377 00:16:05,640 --> 00:16:07,360 Speaker 2: He acted like he ain't want to laugh, And then 378 00:16:07,360 --> 00:16:09,440 Speaker 2: I was like, bro at least tell me your name. 379 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:10,480 Speaker 1: He was like, Dorian. 380 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:12,120 Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I see why you don't want 381 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,720 Speaker 2: to laugh. Your tea big as a motherfucker. You fucking 382 00:16:14,720 --> 00:16:16,640 Speaker 2: around to cut your tongue off trying to laugh in 383 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,880 Speaker 2: and then it's like broke boom, you know what I'm saying. 384 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 2: And that was just my interaction because it's like, man, 385 00:16:23,600 --> 00:16:25,360 Speaker 2: this is this is what you get with me. And 386 00:16:25,400 --> 00:16:27,840 Speaker 2: I'm comfortable in my skin. I've always had to be. 387 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:31,200 Speaker 2: I've never been given a gray area growing up, Like 388 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:33,840 Speaker 2: my mother was different. She was like, Nigga, this is 389 00:16:33,880 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 2: the reality of what it is. This is who you are. 390 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 2: Learn how to love that. And I had to figure 391 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,680 Speaker 2: that out growing up as a young man because I 392 00:16:41,760 --> 00:16:46,120 Speaker 2: always had man responsibilities. Like when my friends was playing 393 00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,280 Speaker 2: football and riding their bikes, Nigga, I was walking to 394 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:50,200 Speaker 2: the safeway with a cat to get the groceries for 395 00:16:50,240 --> 00:16:52,400 Speaker 2: the house. My mama was burnt out. She had to 396 00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:55,560 Speaker 2: catch three busses to get back home from work. She 397 00:16:55,560 --> 00:16:57,840 Speaker 2: ain't got the energy to walk down here to this safeway. 398 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,360 Speaker 2: So he go to money, he go to car, go 399 00:17:00,400 --> 00:17:02,600 Speaker 2: down there and get everything on this list. You're gonna 400 00:17:02,600 --> 00:17:04,840 Speaker 2: miss that football game, It'll be another one, Nigga. You're 401 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,280 Speaker 2: gonna miss that bike ride, It'll be another one. And 402 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:09,919 Speaker 2: I had to figure out how to be comfortable watching 403 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:13,359 Speaker 2: all of this fun go on while I had to 404 00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:17,800 Speaker 2: go handle responsibility that was not necessarily for a child 405 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:20,600 Speaker 2: to have to bear, but it was my reality. And 406 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,600 Speaker 2: then those walks and them times where I had to 407 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,399 Speaker 2: be by myself. I had to learn how to be 408 00:17:24,440 --> 00:17:28,359 Speaker 2: comfortable and confident within my own space, and as fucked 409 00:17:28,440 --> 00:17:31,320 Speaker 2: up as that may have been for me as a child, 410 00:17:31,880 --> 00:17:35,280 Speaker 2: as a grown man, I'm thankful. I thank God every 411 00:17:35,320 --> 00:17:37,919 Speaker 2: day for those experiences because now I'm able to be 412 00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:41,159 Speaker 2: comfortable and shit that I see other grown men fail that. 413 00:17:41,240 --> 00:17:42,960 Speaker 4: And that's one of them gifts for the future. 414 00:17:43,080 --> 00:17:44,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what I'm saying that you don't know 415 00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:46,399 Speaker 3: what you're getting all the way. You don't even know 416 00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:48,560 Speaker 3: when you're going through it. You're like, man, it's cramping 417 00:17:48,600 --> 00:17:51,000 Speaker 3: my shit. Did you have your pops in your life? Nah? 418 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 1: You do? You have a Did you have any type 419 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:54,280 Speaker 1: of relationship with me? 420 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 3: And they've came back around when you know what I'm saying, Like, 421 00:17:57,560 --> 00:18:00,000 Speaker 3: I used to do certain things. 422 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:01,560 Speaker 4: You know what artists, right? 423 00:18:01,600 --> 00:18:04,800 Speaker 3: I used to wrap and I used to I had 424 00:18:05,280 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 3: tip and droll and walk a flocker in the town 425 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 3: one time and my father showed up. 426 00:18:10,359 --> 00:18:11,520 Speaker 4: I hadn't seen him in a year. 427 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,439 Speaker 3: Like, I don't have a relation I got gained from 428 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,880 Speaker 3: my uncle and from the streets. Yeah, me too, saying, 429 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:19,080 Speaker 3: so I ain't have any relationship with him. 430 00:18:19,280 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 1: That's who raised me. With my uncles in the streets. 431 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:26,560 Speaker 2: And you know, I just did Steve Harvey's Boys Camp, 432 00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:28,240 Speaker 2: and one of the things that I gave to the 433 00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:30,679 Speaker 2: young boys is none of them had fathers, And like 434 00:18:30,760 --> 00:18:33,320 Speaker 2: I told them, as unfortunate as it is to not 435 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:36,920 Speaker 2: have a relationship with your father, you also aren't tied 436 00:18:36,960 --> 00:18:40,960 Speaker 2: down to the obligations of responsibilities that your father would. 437 00:18:40,720 --> 00:18:42,440 Speaker 1: Have gave you, you know what I'm saying. 438 00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:45,679 Speaker 2: So you able to soak up a game right and 439 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:49,760 Speaker 2: directly passed down to you or you know, diverted you 440 00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,639 Speaker 2: from something that you what was passionate about, but he not. 441 00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:54,760 Speaker 2: So now you got to go by so you got 442 00:18:54,760 --> 00:18:58,080 Speaker 2: to feel free to be able to understand it. It's unfortunate, 443 00:18:58,119 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 2: but you got to find a silver lining in the 444 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,480 Speaker 2: fact that you can take game from everywhere. You can 445 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,160 Speaker 2: get it from all over, and you got to soak 446 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,440 Speaker 2: as much of it up as you can. But I 447 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,880 Speaker 2: asked you that because you know, in talking to you, 448 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,119 Speaker 2: you can see that you have an ability to be 449 00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:16,960 Speaker 2: able to translate a message in the way that most 450 00:19:17,040 --> 00:19:20,040 Speaker 2: niggas who didn't have a relationship with they father can't do. 451 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:25,440 Speaker 2: And I'm always interested to ask guys who didn't. At 452 00:19:25,440 --> 00:19:29,800 Speaker 2: what point did you realize you was different than everybody else? 453 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:35,880 Speaker 4: I think I knew that from. 454 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,439 Speaker 2: Or was it a moment that you feel like it 455 00:19:36,560 --> 00:19:38,879 Speaker 2: really resonated and set in with you that you knew 456 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,520 Speaker 2: you wasn't like everybody else. 457 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:42,640 Speaker 4: It's when. 458 00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:46,680 Speaker 3: When life threw at me the same things they threw 459 00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:51,760 Speaker 3: at people, and I conquered them. But also when I 460 00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:56,680 Speaker 3: knew that life was giving me everything it had from 461 00:19:56,680 --> 00:19:59,840 Speaker 3: a negative standpoint, and I survived that. 462 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:02,240 Speaker 4: So I said, nah, if I. 463 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:05,840 Speaker 3: Outwitted that, like, I wouldn't the devil, you know what 464 00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:06,439 Speaker 3: I'm saying. 465 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:07,960 Speaker 4: And I felt like and then. 466 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:11,879 Speaker 3: All my people, Man, my people don't tell me that 467 00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:15,399 Speaker 3: I'm great, but they I don't care about words anywhere. 468 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:18,240 Speaker 3: I watch actions, so their actions tell me I'm great. 469 00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:22,600 Speaker 3: Everybody brings everything to me when I when I didn't 470 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:25,160 Speaker 3: get broke down by what should have broke me down, 471 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:30,640 Speaker 3: you know, And. 472 00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:31,080 Speaker 1: Can you give me an example of one of those times. 473 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,880 Speaker 3: One time I was I was in a very serious 474 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:41,840 Speaker 3: relationship and that relationship turned my hustle along. And I 475 00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:46,119 Speaker 3: always tell people that sometimes love can turn on and 476 00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:49,120 Speaker 3: activate a different kind of hustle when you ain't got 477 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:51,840 Speaker 3: children and shit and you fast and you fall in love, 478 00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:54,119 Speaker 3: like I gotta take care of this. I didn't know 479 00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 3: women were trickery. I didn't know they had trickery involve 480 00:21:00,040 --> 00:21:02,520 Speaker 3: off them. I was young, so I didn't really know that. 481 00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:06,200 Speaker 3: Like when a woman would call me king, I would 482 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,919 Speaker 3: really try to live up to that. I didn't know 483 00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,640 Speaker 3: that that's trickery, not all the time and not from 484 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:16,800 Speaker 3: a pure woman, but where I was coming from because 485 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:19,800 Speaker 3: I had some money, I'm king to everybody. You know 486 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:22,280 Speaker 3: what I'm saying. The dog is your cousin when you 487 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,280 Speaker 3: get a little money. So I didn't know I was 488 00:21:25,359 --> 00:21:29,160 Speaker 3: operating in a space where people didn't mean what they 489 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,879 Speaker 3: were saying. So when I finally left out of that, 490 00:21:32,160 --> 00:21:35,080 Speaker 3: I think I hit rock bottom mentally far as like 491 00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:40,400 Speaker 3: you're way too smart to have done that, Like when 492 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 3: it starts when I started to reveal things to myself 493 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 3: and get away from it emotionally and look at it logically. 494 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:50,520 Speaker 3: It started to just say, all right, nigga, you gave 495 00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,880 Speaker 3: a lot to something that you ain't get much from. 496 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,320 Speaker 4: How smart really are you? 497 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 1: Do you? 498 00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:57,960 Speaker 4: Really? Who really are you? 499 00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,080 Speaker 3: When you can be tricked by words in it that 500 00:22:00,160 --> 00:22:02,560 Speaker 3: way and I dived into books. 501 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,639 Speaker 1: There was some pussy involved too, Don't just say it 502 00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:05,119 Speaker 1: was the words. 503 00:22:05,119 --> 00:22:09,680 Speaker 2: You gotta get it, that's really That was a big 504 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,159 Speaker 2: part of it too. The words just made the pussy 505 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,960 Speaker 2: just yeah, you gotta get yourself some brace on that one, 506 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 2: and yeah, everything and all that shit. 507 00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:20,320 Speaker 3: Right, it was a vibration. But but I think I 508 00:22:20,359 --> 00:22:24,600 Speaker 3: still gave it too much. I still gave it too much. Mentally, 509 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:27,440 Speaker 3: you have a good time with it and thing, yeah, 510 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,200 Speaker 3: but if I'm not careful with. 511 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:33,320 Speaker 2: This thing, oh trust me, who you telling? I got 512 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:36,280 Speaker 2: the same problem. That's why I say this. You know, 513 00:22:36,720 --> 00:22:39,280 Speaker 2: it's so important to subscribe to whatever it is that 514 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,480 Speaker 2: you know, because the most consistent thing that's gonna happen 515 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:43,360 Speaker 2: to us in this life is your mind gonna talk 516 00:22:43,359 --> 00:22:46,080 Speaker 2: inside your mind, as we have in this conversation right now, 517 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,680 Speaker 2: our brain talking inside our brain. So that's what you 518 00:22:48,760 --> 00:22:51,640 Speaker 2: got to navigate because when everything gone and everybody gone 519 00:22:51,680 --> 00:22:53,960 Speaker 2: and it's just you and your thoughts, that's. 520 00:22:53,760 --> 00:22:54,679 Speaker 1: Who you are. 521 00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,320 Speaker 2: And I know, like I got a dep I got 522 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,159 Speaker 2: to say something. Yeah, I got to I got. 523 00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:04,240 Speaker 1: Me. 524 00:23:04,359 --> 00:23:07,040 Speaker 4: I still a gold he said, what gonna do? 525 00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:11,560 Speaker 2: I'm man, And it's that's the worst thing. 526 00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:13,560 Speaker 1: It's me. 527 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:18,080 Speaker 2: And that's the hardest thing to be able to shake. Man, 528 00:23:18,200 --> 00:23:20,720 Speaker 2: I'm telling you, I'm with you. I totally understand it 529 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:26,000 Speaker 2: because I feel the same way about in the perspective 530 00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,400 Speaker 2: that you just gave in regards to navigating the things 531 00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,439 Speaker 2: that should have broke you down. And I've had so 532 00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,760 Speaker 2: many different moments throughout my life that you know should 533 00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 2: have I mean, and I had every excuse, like I said, 534 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:38,680 Speaker 2: like if not having no daddy, my daddy getting killed, 535 00:23:38,680 --> 00:23:41,440 Speaker 2: I got every excuse to be as fucked up as 536 00:23:41,480 --> 00:23:45,800 Speaker 2: I can be. But when my uncle got killed, I 537 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:51,040 Speaker 2: remember how I felt when I saw the world still moving, 538 00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:55,159 Speaker 2: everything was still going, And that's what made me realize, Okay, 539 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,480 Speaker 2: this ship over here is my responsibility. That out there 540 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:01,879 Speaker 2: is gonna go whether or not I'm here not. And 541 00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:05,359 Speaker 2: once I realized that, it made me realize that the 542 00:24:05,440 --> 00:24:10,520 Speaker 2: importance of managing your bubble. It's so it's the most 543 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:14,760 Speaker 2: it's imperative man, for you to be able to navigate 544 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,520 Speaker 2: that because I know from what I come from and 545 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:20,919 Speaker 2: what the way I was trained, like everybody in my 546 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,520 Speaker 2: household was with the bullshit and was on it. And 547 00:24:23,520 --> 00:24:25,880 Speaker 2: that was normal and the environment that I come from, 548 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:27,680 Speaker 2: the city that I come from, all of that shit 549 00:24:27,880 --> 00:24:30,840 Speaker 2: was normalized to us. So for me to get to 550 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:33,280 Speaker 2: a point where I navigate beyond that and to be 551 00:24:33,359 --> 00:24:35,800 Speaker 2: able to be pulled back into it based off of 552 00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:38,480 Speaker 2: me not being able to manage my emotions. It's something 553 00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:41,879 Speaker 2: that I constantly challenged myself on. Like when I was 554 00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:44,480 Speaker 2: dealing with my mother being sick. I'm at the gas 555 00:24:44,480 --> 00:24:46,920 Speaker 2: station and mind you, I'm going through all these emotions 556 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,960 Speaker 2: because I feel it. I know my baby about to 557 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,080 Speaker 2: leave here, and I'm in the gas station and the 558 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 2: nigga is just looking at me and he keep looking 559 00:24:53,320 --> 00:24:55,879 Speaker 2: at me, and I'm like, man, man Slim. He's like, 560 00:24:55,920 --> 00:24:57,879 Speaker 2: oh my bad dog. I thought you was chicek Obean. 561 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:02,320 Speaker 2: And in that moment, I'm like, nigga, you're tripping like 562 00:25:02,400 --> 00:25:07,320 Speaker 2: you you are Chico. Now you tripping, nigga, Like, I 563 00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:08,560 Speaker 2: know it's fucked up right now? 564 00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:09,280 Speaker 1: I know you great? 565 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:12,000 Speaker 2: You know could potentially be great, lose the most important 566 00:25:12,040 --> 00:25:14,760 Speaker 2: thing in regards to you being who you are. But 567 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:16,800 Speaker 2: my nigga, you are who you are. And it took 568 00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:20,400 Speaker 2: me to walk around the block and through that same process. 569 00:25:20,440 --> 00:25:22,840 Speaker 2: That's the blessing of me having that process and saved 570 00:25:22,840 --> 00:25:24,920 Speaker 2: my life because I knew what to do in that moment. 571 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,399 Speaker 2: I knew how to take myself out of it. So 572 00:25:27,520 --> 00:25:30,240 Speaker 2: you got to develop something to be able to snatch 573 00:25:30,240 --> 00:25:32,159 Speaker 2: yourself out of that ship whenever it happened, you know 574 00:25:32,200 --> 00:25:32,560 Speaker 2: what I mean. 575 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:43,160 Speaker 3: And then you know, I think because I've been because 576 00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:47,080 Speaker 3: you see me by myself. Man, this is it's a strength, 577 00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:50,440 Speaker 3: but it's a weakness and the weak side of it, yeah, 578 00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:54,040 Speaker 3: because the weak the weakness side of it is. 579 00:25:57,960 --> 00:25:58,720 Speaker 4: I don't think. 580 00:25:59,160 --> 00:26:02,200 Speaker 3: I think I'm not I think I'm not available, So 581 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:07,080 Speaker 3: I'm not emotionally available. You know, I'm not available for 582 00:26:07,640 --> 00:26:11,960 Speaker 3: much like and I don't mean time consuming shit, I 583 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:16,320 Speaker 3: mean like emotionally like, like I said, I'm not celebrating wins, 584 00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:21,119 Speaker 3: I'm not relationships not not really meaning much to me, 585 00:26:21,240 --> 00:26:22,560 Speaker 3: like me and a girl together. 586 00:26:22,640 --> 00:26:24,239 Speaker 4: It's like, it is what it is. 587 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,880 Speaker 1: It's fine though, I mean, because I'm the same way, like. 588 00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:30,080 Speaker 3: I'm trying to work through these things I'm trying to 589 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:33,440 Speaker 3: see in my disconnected like what's you know. 590 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:33,920 Speaker 4: What I'm saying. 591 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,959 Speaker 2: It's not It's not that coming from somebody who moves 592 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:42,479 Speaker 2: the same way I'm always by myself, not because I 593 00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:44,560 Speaker 2: can't be around a whole bunch of people, but I'm 594 00:26:44,600 --> 00:26:47,280 Speaker 2: my own best friend and I'm comfortable in that. I 595 00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:50,840 Speaker 2: embrace that, and I think it's just a perception thing, 596 00:26:50,960 --> 00:26:55,040 Speaker 2: like you want to be everything that you can be 597 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:57,800 Speaker 2: for the people that count to you, but you got 598 00:26:57,800 --> 00:27:01,560 Speaker 2: to be that for yourself first. As cliche as that sound, 599 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:05,159 Speaker 2: it took me to get into a position where everybody 600 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:08,480 Speaker 2: wanted something from me to realize that the only shit 601 00:27:08,520 --> 00:27:10,880 Speaker 2: that really mattered was what I can get on myself 602 00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:15,719 Speaker 2: and being alone and not having the same capacity that 603 00:27:15,800 --> 00:27:18,640 Speaker 2: you see people judge you on, you know what I mean. 604 00:27:18,680 --> 00:27:20,480 Speaker 2: Like I've been one of the people that's been running 605 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:22,480 Speaker 2: around saying I don't want to ever get married or 606 00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:25,480 Speaker 2: be in a relationship publicly for years, and one of 607 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:27,679 Speaker 2: the first things when I have a conversation with a 608 00:27:27,680 --> 00:27:29,639 Speaker 2: woman about that is the first thing they do is 609 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:30,359 Speaker 2: relegate me. 610 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 1: The loneliness that's the. 611 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:36,159 Speaker 2: Biggest but still that's the first thing they go to 612 00:27:36,280 --> 00:27:39,280 Speaker 2: because that's the people project what they fear the most 613 00:27:39,359 --> 00:27:41,840 Speaker 2: on you when they hear you not conform to what 614 00:27:41,920 --> 00:27:45,520 Speaker 2: they believe is something that works. But my perspective on 615 00:27:45,600 --> 00:27:50,119 Speaker 2: what's lonely is different from yours. Because being by myself, 616 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:53,040 Speaker 2: I revel in that, and that's why I learned everything 617 00:27:53,119 --> 00:27:57,720 Speaker 2: that's got me. I'm loving that right, being by myself, 618 00:27:57,760 --> 00:28:02,000 Speaker 2: I love that. What I'm saying is old is that 619 00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:06,000 Speaker 2: is that for me? In particular, I believe I've developed. 620 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:11,040 Speaker 3: A skin or a shield or or or something that 621 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:17,040 Speaker 3: is not allowing anything to penetrate. Right because I'm blocking 622 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:20,280 Speaker 3: out bad and negative because I'm saying stay on your 623 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:23,080 Speaker 3: pay off some kind of way, it seemed like I 624 00:28:23,119 --> 00:28:26,880 Speaker 3: done shut the door on anything coming in. 625 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:30,199 Speaker 2: Nah, I disagree, because you look at you look at 626 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:30,760 Speaker 2: where you're at. 627 00:28:30,880 --> 00:28:31,440 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? 628 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:35,480 Speaker 2: You got you know, just using Charlemagne, somebody that we 629 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:40,480 Speaker 2: shared regards to, like he's been instrumental and he's a 630 00:28:40,480 --> 00:28:44,120 Speaker 2: big brother and so much in my career, you know 631 00:28:44,160 --> 00:28:47,080 Speaker 2: what I'm saying, just. 632 00:28:45,960 --> 00:28:48,920 Speaker 1: Saying, hey man, here go do your thing. You know 633 00:28:48,960 --> 00:28:49,480 Speaker 1: what I'm saying. 634 00:28:49,680 --> 00:28:52,480 Speaker 2: Or because every opportunity don't come with some money attached 635 00:28:52,480 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 2: to it. 636 00:28:52,760 --> 00:28:54,600 Speaker 1: It's like just the looks. 637 00:28:55,240 --> 00:28:58,400 Speaker 2: You think about how long I've been doing what I've 638 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:00,920 Speaker 2: been doing. I got on TV and thirteen, what was 639 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:04,480 Speaker 2: you doing? In twenty thirteen exactly that you ain't even 640 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:08,520 Speaker 2: got to say it. So you think to now we 641 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,360 Speaker 2: share a commonality of a person that I have been 642 00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:15,480 Speaker 2: dealing with since over a decade now, and this is 643 00:29:15,480 --> 00:29:18,120 Speaker 2: somebody that you can genuinely say is a big brother 644 00:29:18,160 --> 00:29:20,360 Speaker 2: because he's in a position to offer you the same 645 00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:21,840 Speaker 2: type of help that he's offered me. 646 00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:24,080 Speaker 1: So you not blocking out. 647 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:27,240 Speaker 3: Everything And I'm not talking about professionally, That's what I'm saying. 648 00:29:27,520 --> 00:29:32,800 Speaker 3: I'm so locked in professionally that personally is suffering. 649 00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,680 Speaker 2: I mean, have you identified the things that you desire 650 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:36,960 Speaker 2: personally to be able to know? 651 00:29:37,040 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 3: If you But I've lost everything I had personally elevating professionally. 652 00:29:42,960 --> 00:29:43,920 Speaker 4: You see what I'm saying. 653 00:29:44,040 --> 00:29:48,960 Speaker 3: Okay, So because everything I had personally came from most things, 654 00:29:49,040 --> 00:29:52,680 Speaker 3: I'm wonna say everything. Most things I had personally prior 655 00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:56,120 Speaker 3: to leaving that whole. 656 00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:01,840 Speaker 4: Stage was of that life. 657 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,480 Speaker 3: It was of that elk and when I'm over here, 658 00:30:05,560 --> 00:30:07,800 Speaker 3: and when I mix those two, I put myself in 659 00:30:07,840 --> 00:30:08,560 Speaker 3: a trick bag. 660 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:12,760 Speaker 4: So I literally had to cut that off. Now that 661 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,040 Speaker 4: was the right move. When I'm saying the. 662 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:18,680 Speaker 3: Unintentional consequences, I think and I could be wrong. 663 00:30:18,720 --> 00:30:20,280 Speaker 4: But we're talking through this, right. 664 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,080 Speaker 3: The unintentional consequences I think I'm faced with is that 665 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:28,040 Speaker 3: because I had to cut all of that off and 666 00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,480 Speaker 3: shield myself because I love them people on the other 667 00:30:30,560 --> 00:30:33,160 Speaker 3: side of this thing, Like, Bro, I just talked my 668 00:30:33,360 --> 00:30:35,720 Speaker 3: right hand man, I talked to you every single day. 669 00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:38,320 Speaker 3: Is facing a life sentence. You know what I'm saying, 670 00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:41,120 Speaker 3: This is my God, God, God. This ain't somebody I 671 00:30:41,200 --> 00:30:43,800 Speaker 3: know in passing. I don't even never drop his name. 672 00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:45,960 Speaker 3: I ain't never done an interview. This ain't about no 673 00:30:46,040 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 3: clout shit. This is my guy guy. So I'm saying, 674 00:30:50,280 --> 00:30:52,960 Speaker 3: it's love on over there, and it seemed like that's 675 00:30:53,000 --> 00:30:54,280 Speaker 3: where all my love at. 676 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:55,920 Speaker 4: But I can't go get it. 677 00:30:56,880 --> 00:30:58,920 Speaker 3: You see what I'm saying, Like, I'm over here where 678 00:30:58,960 --> 00:31:02,400 Speaker 3: I get professionally, I'm piping hot right, I'm doing shit. 679 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:05,560 Speaker 3: I can call anybody in the game I can get 680 00:31:05,560 --> 00:31:08,080 Speaker 3: in contact with just off my wit and out my 681 00:31:08,120 --> 00:31:11,600 Speaker 3: ability to talk. Dog, I'm blessed beyond measure for sure. 682 00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:15,000 Speaker 3: But my love the people that I know loved me 683 00:31:15,120 --> 00:31:16,959 Speaker 3: before this before. 684 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:18,080 Speaker 4: Because again, all. 685 00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,760 Speaker 3: This I'm I'm thinking it's motives attached to shit. Now 686 00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:24,240 Speaker 3: everything seems weird, and I'm sure you know what it's 687 00:31:24,360 --> 00:31:25,320 Speaker 3: like on this sideway. 688 00:31:25,320 --> 00:31:27,600 Speaker 4: It's like, who's here for what? 689 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 1: Yeah? 690 00:31:28,480 --> 00:31:30,400 Speaker 2: I mean, but that's what I'm saying about what I 691 00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:34,239 Speaker 2: was the knowledge that I was using about seeing that 692 00:31:34,360 --> 00:31:38,320 Speaker 2: table and being able to, you know, go like this, 693 00:31:38,760 --> 00:31:41,239 Speaker 2: that's one aspect of it. But it's another thing to 694 00:31:41,240 --> 00:31:43,520 Speaker 2: be able to see that table and go over there 695 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:46,360 Speaker 2: and stand at it and watch the game be played 696 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:49,360 Speaker 2: and give your perspective and all that, but not putting 697 00:31:49,360 --> 00:31:50,640 Speaker 2: none of your money into. 698 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:51,520 Speaker 1: It, you know what I'm saying. 699 00:31:51,520 --> 00:31:55,280 Speaker 2: And I think I'll get there and that, Yeah, it 700 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:59,040 Speaker 2: sounds like you still having separated your love that you 701 00:31:59,200 --> 00:32:04,800 Speaker 2: get and the love that you were given in that 702 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:08,360 Speaker 2: regard when you over on that other side, Like it's 703 00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:10,880 Speaker 2: one thing for the love that you receive, but when 704 00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:13,440 Speaker 2: people see you, it takes you back into the mold 705 00:32:13,520 --> 00:32:16,280 Speaker 2: of being who you were over there to them, and 706 00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:18,520 Speaker 2: it's hard for you not to turn back into that 707 00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:20,880 Speaker 2: person exactly. And that's the thing that you got to 708 00:32:20,920 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 2: be able to navigate getting over there and being able 709 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:27,440 Speaker 2: to still be able to receive the love and give it, 710 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,160 Speaker 2: but just give it in a different way than they 711 00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,200 Speaker 2: used to. You and it takes training. I give you 712 00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:35,040 Speaker 2: an example. I had to show at the MGM and DC. 713 00:32:36,480 --> 00:32:38,080 Speaker 2: I knew that I had to. I did the first 714 00:32:38,080 --> 00:32:40,000 Speaker 2: one right after my mama passed, so I was still 715 00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,680 Speaker 2: in the twilight zone and I had like, man like 716 00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:43,880 Speaker 2: eighty comp tickets. 717 00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:47,960 Speaker 1: I just was putting niggas on the list. They accommodated me. 718 00:32:48,440 --> 00:32:51,240 Speaker 2: But when they came back the next time, which I'm 719 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:53,360 Speaker 2: blessed that we even was the next time because I 720 00:32:53,400 --> 00:32:56,320 Speaker 2: sold enough tickets to where the eighty comps wasn't a problem. 721 00:32:56,480 --> 00:32:58,880 Speaker 2: But when I came back the next time, they was like, look, 722 00:32:58,960 --> 00:33:03,200 Speaker 2: you know, we understanding of what happened, you know, prior, 723 00:33:03,720 --> 00:33:07,000 Speaker 2: but we can't do that many comp tickets this time 724 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,480 Speaker 2: because we opening up the second level. We want to really, 725 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:12,320 Speaker 2: you know, sell this thing out. So you know, of 726 00:33:12,320 --> 00:33:15,080 Speaker 2: course we're gonna accommodate your people, but only a certain 727 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:19,160 Speaker 2: number of people right now. Mind you, my mother played 728 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:22,920 Speaker 2: a big role in being a filter through certain people 729 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:26,040 Speaker 2: to me, Like they didn't certain shit didn't come to 730 00:33:26,040 --> 00:33:27,480 Speaker 2: me because they didn't want to have to deal with one. 731 00:33:28,200 --> 00:33:30,880 Speaker 2: But once she was gone, all of that shit came 732 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:35,560 Speaker 2: to me. Now, mind you, It fucked me up emotionally, 733 00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:38,200 Speaker 2: as you said, because I'm real in touch with my emotions, 734 00:33:38,440 --> 00:33:41,800 Speaker 2: I understand that it's very rare I get into them. 735 00:33:41,800 --> 00:33:44,040 Speaker 2: But if you somebody that I give them to, they 736 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:48,040 Speaker 2: were in there and you got me. So to know 737 00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,600 Speaker 2: that people that I felt like should have been able 738 00:33:50,640 --> 00:33:53,000 Speaker 2: to feel what I was feeling. To know that they 739 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,160 Speaker 2: were just ask me how I was feeling. To ask 740 00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:58,479 Speaker 2: me for something right after made me do something that 741 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:01,040 Speaker 2: I had never done in my life prior to that point, 742 00:34:01,080 --> 00:34:05,880 Speaker 2: and that's duck the responsibility necessary to having the conversations 743 00:34:05,920 --> 00:34:08,320 Speaker 2: with these people. I ain't never duck nothing in my life, 744 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:11,239 Speaker 2: but this was the first time I ever put shit off. 745 00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:13,560 Speaker 2: Niggas is texting me, calling me, hey man, you know 746 00:34:13,600 --> 00:34:18,600 Speaker 2: what I mean, and I'm just. 747 00:34:17,160 --> 00:34:18,359 Speaker 1: I ain't worried about that shit. 748 00:34:18,640 --> 00:34:20,600 Speaker 2: Then it crept up on me and my manager hit me, 749 00:34:20,640 --> 00:34:22,839 Speaker 2: boss lady hit me like, yeah, we gotta grad get 750 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:25,600 Speaker 2: this promo, how we're gonna run this, you know this, 751 00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:27,120 Speaker 2: this this ship for the show and all of that, 752 00:34:27,160 --> 00:34:30,640 Speaker 2: and I'm like, I can't do it. She's like, what 753 00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:34,240 Speaker 2: you mean, I can't. I can't do it. I realized 754 00:34:34,280 --> 00:34:36,839 Speaker 2: I'm not ready to go up there and face these 755 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:39,520 Speaker 2: motherfuckers who I dodnet let do this shit that I 756 00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,640 Speaker 2: know I got a problem with, but I didn't have 757 00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,800 Speaker 2: the ability to be able to address in a manner 758 00:34:43,840 --> 00:34:46,959 Speaker 2: that was necessary up until now. I know I can't 759 00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:48,680 Speaker 2: go up there and face them people because I know 760 00:34:48,800 --> 00:34:50,719 Speaker 2: my mind. I know I get in there and the 761 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,720 Speaker 2: nigga in there eating lamb chops and drinking champagne. 762 00:34:53,960 --> 00:34:55,680 Speaker 1: Man, I wouldn't have missed this for the world. I 763 00:34:55,719 --> 00:34:56,279 Speaker 1: can't say that. 764 00:34:56,320 --> 00:34:57,600 Speaker 2: I'm not gonna you would have missed it if might 765 00:34:57,680 --> 00:35:00,800 Speaker 2: give you a ticket, bitch, ass nick and not in 766 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:03,719 Speaker 2: these people, not there, not at this level, not at 767 00:35:03,719 --> 00:35:06,160 Speaker 2: the MGM, not you know what I mean. And it 768 00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:08,520 Speaker 2: really made me realize I had duck something. So it 769 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:10,160 Speaker 2: was the first time I didn have been ashamed of 770 00:35:10,200 --> 00:35:12,440 Speaker 2: myself in my life. I was ashamed of myself, like 771 00:35:12,480 --> 00:35:15,120 Speaker 2: I can't believe I let this shit happen and had 772 00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:17,680 Speaker 2: to cancel this show. I ain't never did that, But 773 00:35:17,960 --> 00:35:22,280 Speaker 2: after that cancelization, I said, Man, I'm. 774 00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:24,560 Speaker 1: Gonna do what I need to do. Fuck it. 775 00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:27,520 Speaker 2: I got to develop the mentality of what's necessary to 776 00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:30,560 Speaker 2: be able to go over here and face these people 777 00:35:31,520 --> 00:35:33,520 Speaker 2: because I got to these my people, you know what 778 00:35:33,560 --> 00:35:35,120 Speaker 2: I'm saying, But I got to do it in a 779 00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,319 Speaker 2: way where they respect the fact that I'm over here 780 00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:39,799 Speaker 2: now and I can't do it this way. So my 781 00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:42,760 Speaker 2: thing was, look, everybody that was asking me for some shit. 782 00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:46,759 Speaker 2: Wherever I'm at in the world, you can come see me. 783 00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:51,279 Speaker 2: I got you, except for in this city in Washington, DC. 784 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,919 Speaker 2: If I'm here, got to buy a ticket to see me, man, 785 00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:56,680 Speaker 2: because you ain't got to really do nothing to support me. 786 00:35:56,680 --> 00:35:58,880 Speaker 2: If you drive to Baltimore, I got you, because at 787 00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,080 Speaker 2: least it took you to gas money to get up here. 788 00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,600 Speaker 2: But if you in this city and I'm performing in 789 00:36:03,640 --> 00:36:05,640 Speaker 2: this city, man, buy a ticket to see me. You 790 00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:08,120 Speaker 2: should want to, if you, my folks. And then with 791 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,080 Speaker 2: some hard conversations to have. But I had to do it, 792 00:36:11,480 --> 00:36:14,760 Speaker 2: and it took me to have that experience of canceling 793 00:36:14,800 --> 00:36:16,799 Speaker 2: the show some shit I never did before, to give 794 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:18,520 Speaker 2: me the strength to be able to go over there 795 00:36:18,520 --> 00:36:21,440 Speaker 2: and have them conversations. I can't let that shit happen 796 00:36:21,520 --> 00:36:24,360 Speaker 2: no more. And I'm glad that I was able to 797 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:26,239 Speaker 2: do it. And then it ended up selling out the show. 798 00:36:26,320 --> 00:36:30,279 Speaker 2: The shit was amazing, but I just know that had 799 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:36,880 Speaker 2: I not had that type of interactions with the people 800 00:36:36,920 --> 00:36:39,560 Speaker 2: that I had to have them with prior, then I 801 00:36:39,560 --> 00:36:41,719 Speaker 2: would have never known what it took to be able 802 00:36:41,760 --> 00:36:43,920 Speaker 2: to get it after the sack. 803 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:48,359 Speaker 3: Where you too, bro this where you got me at 804 00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:58,320 Speaker 3: that's you personal meeting professional. Yeah see, I've what I've 805 00:36:58,400 --> 00:37:07,080 Speaker 3: done was sever the personal to elevate the professional. 806 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,960 Speaker 2: But there's no way you could have completely severed it 807 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:13,040 Speaker 2: if you still over there, you see what I mean. 808 00:37:13,080 --> 00:37:15,000 Speaker 2: But you over there enough to know that the love 809 00:37:15,120 --> 00:37:17,719 Speaker 2: that you was that still being over there. So the 810 00:37:17,800 --> 00:37:20,759 Speaker 2: severing that you did was your connection to what you 811 00:37:20,920 --> 00:37:22,839 Speaker 2: was giving them folks while you was over there. 812 00:37:22,880 --> 00:37:23,680 Speaker 1: That's what you stop. 813 00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:27,480 Speaker 2: You stopped being the guy that show up with the 814 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:31,120 Speaker 2: answers and all of the solutions and all of the 815 00:37:31,120 --> 00:37:34,680 Speaker 2: the man fucked up loan or man I this happened, 816 00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:35,320 Speaker 2: and that happened. 817 00:37:35,360 --> 00:37:36,719 Speaker 1: I can't be that no more. 818 00:37:37,120 --> 00:37:40,400 Speaker 2: But you haven't severed the connection to these people fully 819 00:37:41,040 --> 00:37:43,279 Speaker 2: enough for you to be able to say that you 820 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:46,080 Speaker 2: then separated the professional. These people are still a part 821 00:37:46,120 --> 00:37:47,960 Speaker 2: of who you are. You just have to figure out 822 00:37:47,960 --> 00:37:50,040 Speaker 2: a way for yourself to be able to go over 823 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:54,480 Speaker 2: there without being attached to what you used to be. 824 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:56,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, see a lot of it ain't even for them. 825 00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:57,400 Speaker 4: A lot of it is for me. 826 00:37:57,520 --> 00:37:59,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. It's all for you. 827 00:37:59,360 --> 00:38:02,560 Speaker 3: Because over there and turn back up because I see them. 828 00:38:02,600 --> 00:38:07,680 Speaker 3: I see it, bro, Like, Bro, it's this town is popping, 829 00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:12,000 Speaker 3: like popping, popping popping. My homeboy, another one of my guys, 830 00:38:12,320 --> 00:38:15,040 Speaker 3: they just he just went. He took a million dollar loss. 831 00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:18,400 Speaker 4: They win there five hundred recks for the bricks. 832 00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:21,799 Speaker 3: Like it's if you involved on that level around here, 833 00:38:22,120 --> 00:38:24,280 Speaker 3: Like in here, it'd be one hundred and fifty thousand 834 00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:28,520 Speaker 3: in here just on just floating around niggas gambling and 835 00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,080 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying, it's going down in this town. 836 00:38:31,239 --> 00:38:33,120 Speaker 3: So I got I try to stay away from that 837 00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:36,720 Speaker 3: because it'll be my luck in here fucking with the homeboys. 838 00:38:37,360 --> 00:38:40,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's you gotta be at But that's the 839 00:38:40,520 --> 00:38:42,560 Speaker 2: that's what that's the price of of. 840 00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:45,359 Speaker 4: Seeing getting that in love. 841 00:38:45,440 --> 00:38:49,440 Speaker 3: I know it's real because it's too dangerous for the 842 00:38:49,560 --> 00:38:53,279 Speaker 3: overall circumstance I find myself in. So it got me 843 00:38:53,640 --> 00:38:57,040 Speaker 3: by default forced to deal with fake love. 844 00:38:57,440 --> 00:39:00,200 Speaker 2: I mean, you know, I disagree in regards to what 845 00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:03,279 Speaker 2: you can do, like what you just. 846 00:39:03,239 --> 00:39:04,480 Speaker 1: Said, what you already doing. 847 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:06,600 Speaker 2: You already you a nigga that then did it yourself 848 00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,400 Speaker 2: and created your own island. You smart enough to be 849 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:12,200 Speaker 2: able to develop and curate a space where you can 850 00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:15,600 Speaker 2: get some of that without having to deal with what 851 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:16,319 Speaker 2: come with that. 852 00:39:16,680 --> 00:39:19,880 Speaker 3: And that's what Tim said. I still ain't forgave myself. Yeah, 853 00:39:19,920 --> 00:39:23,000 Speaker 3: so that first what I explained to you about whatever 854 00:39:23,080 --> 00:39:25,440 Speaker 3: time about Yo, you put a lot into that and 855 00:39:25,520 --> 00:39:29,120 Speaker 3: didn't get nothing. I still remember that. Yeah, what am 856 00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:32,480 Speaker 3: I getting for that trust that I'm giving you? 857 00:39:32,520 --> 00:39:33,320 Speaker 4: See what I'm saying. 858 00:39:33,560 --> 00:39:36,520 Speaker 3: I'm saying, bro, when it gets now now, it ain't 859 00:39:36,560 --> 00:39:39,040 Speaker 3: even bout me feeling that because I got these two 860 00:39:39,120 --> 00:39:41,759 Speaker 3: little boys I gotta worry about now. And if I 861 00:39:41,800 --> 00:39:46,640 Speaker 3: had to pick myself up again, where they capture my 862 00:39:46,719 --> 00:39:51,120 Speaker 3: ability to understand I am who I am? That's what 863 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:55,000 Speaker 3: That's what I tell people. Don't let nobody capture your confidence. 864 00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:58,120 Speaker 4: Man. Oh yeah, because you cannot. It's hard to rebuild. 865 00:39:58,320 --> 00:39:59,240 Speaker 1: Yes, it's tough. 866 00:39:59,360 --> 00:40:02,480 Speaker 3: And so when I got down in that place, I 867 00:40:02,560 --> 00:40:05,399 Speaker 3: had to go back to my roots and say this 868 00:40:05,440 --> 00:40:07,600 Speaker 3: is what made me smarter. But here'll see, if I 869 00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:11,400 Speaker 3: just remember the process, then I would know what happened 870 00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:14,799 Speaker 3: after that, because boy, when they told me down like that, 871 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,040 Speaker 3: when I caught that case in the street, and then 872 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:21,640 Speaker 3: that happened because consequently the money won't the same, because 873 00:40:21,640 --> 00:40:24,120 Speaker 3: they got me my hands tied up and all of 874 00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:28,319 Speaker 3: a sudden, this fall victim to the circumstances changing. You 875 00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:30,600 Speaker 3: don't think I'm smart enough to connect the dodge. You 876 00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:33,319 Speaker 3: want me to believe that somehow we fell out of 877 00:40:33,360 --> 00:40:37,120 Speaker 3: love when I know, damn well, it's because I can't 878 00:40:37,120 --> 00:40:38,040 Speaker 3: do the same things. 879 00:40:38,040 --> 00:40:38,439 Speaker 4: I don't. 880 00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,120 Speaker 3: But I put my life on the line in a 881 00:40:40,160 --> 00:40:42,560 Speaker 3: way while I leave my children. So I'm saying I 882 00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:45,759 Speaker 3: make conscious decisions to say them little boys don't come 883 00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:47,879 Speaker 3: see me in jail. My last time going to jail. 884 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,799 Speaker 3: Them little boys were so young they didn't remember. It's 885 00:40:50,840 --> 00:40:54,360 Speaker 3: like they I gotta probably tell them, you know, daddy 886 00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:55,000 Speaker 3: went to jail. 887 00:40:55,080 --> 00:40:58,320 Speaker 4: They haven't came to a jail house or a jail phone. 888 00:40:58,600 --> 00:41:01,399 Speaker 3: That will break my heart, right, But in a way, 889 00:41:02,040 --> 00:41:04,680 Speaker 3: if I just remember the process when they when they. 890 00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:07,120 Speaker 4: Threw everything they could at me when I was talking. 891 00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:09,520 Speaker 3: About earlier, because that was rock bottom for me, not 892 00:41:09,640 --> 00:41:14,600 Speaker 3: even the picking myself up from from whatever love I've gave. 893 00:41:15,120 --> 00:41:17,319 Speaker 3: But when I've been through things where I felt like 894 00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:19,600 Speaker 3: it was the end or the bottom, that I can 895 00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:23,359 Speaker 3: be well, my confidence has been captured. Where I felt like, Yo, 896 00:41:23,760 --> 00:41:25,959 Speaker 3: who are you now? They don't say you you can't 897 00:41:26,000 --> 00:41:29,000 Speaker 3: even hustle, bro, your money running out? They got you 898 00:41:29,080 --> 00:41:32,200 Speaker 3: pushing a fork left? What is happening? 899 00:41:32,640 --> 00:41:36,480 Speaker 4: Who? Who? Who are you like? Bro? That that was 900 00:41:36,520 --> 00:41:38,080 Speaker 4: an identity change. 901 00:41:38,160 --> 00:41:40,560 Speaker 3: But if I remember the process after that and I 902 00:41:40,600 --> 00:41:45,000 Speaker 3: got in them books, I became a monster. I shd 903 00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:48,400 Speaker 3: it all that dumb street shit because it forced me 904 00:41:48,480 --> 00:41:51,279 Speaker 3: to revaluate and say, you ain't swift as you talk. 905 00:41:51,400 --> 00:41:54,560 Speaker 3: You got caught hustling that went left this winter left? 906 00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:56,759 Speaker 4: What were you? That street shit had you in a 907 00:41:56,840 --> 00:41:58,320 Speaker 4: trick bag? I went to reading. 908 00:41:59,160 --> 00:42:02,200 Speaker 3: I went to listening the powerful things and just reading 909 00:42:02,239 --> 00:42:05,839 Speaker 3: and watching seeing me and again for technique though, fuck 910 00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:09,120 Speaker 3: what they're saying. And I built the monster that they 911 00:42:09,200 --> 00:42:14,280 Speaker 3: have to deal with today. Right, So sometimes shedding things, 912 00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:16,080 Speaker 3: it's like, I don't know why I want to keep 913 00:42:16,120 --> 00:42:18,200 Speaker 3: going back there for even that love. 914 00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:21,160 Speaker 4: When it's the big world. We operate in a very 915 00:42:21,160 --> 00:42:21,600 Speaker 4: big one. 916 00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:25,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's the thing is it's like that, we 917 00:42:25,280 --> 00:42:30,960 Speaker 2: make excuses to go and feel the level of comfort 918 00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:35,000 Speaker 2: that we felt when things were easier for us and 919 00:42:35,120 --> 00:42:37,560 Speaker 2: the work that was required for us to be successful 920 00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:40,560 Speaker 2: at whatever it was we was doing. It's hard to 921 00:42:40,600 --> 00:42:42,879 Speaker 2: be a street nigga, but once you good at it, 922 00:42:42,880 --> 00:42:46,239 Speaker 2: it's easy, easy, because all you gotta do is just 923 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,719 Speaker 2: show up. And a lot of motherfuckers who trying to 924 00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:51,400 Speaker 2: get up under you. Like I said, it's a lot 925 00:42:51,400 --> 00:42:54,160 Speaker 2: of niggas getting taken advantage of by these big homides 926 00:42:54,160 --> 00:42:55,680 Speaker 2: and these niggas and shit like that. 927 00:42:55,920 --> 00:42:58,759 Speaker 1: So you have every excuse to be over there. 928 00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:02,200 Speaker 2: So the fact that you making a conscientious decision every 929 00:43:02,280 --> 00:43:05,000 Speaker 2: day to even though you're struggling with the back and 930 00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:08,040 Speaker 2: forth of it, you're still making a decision not only 931 00:43:08,120 --> 00:43:10,200 Speaker 2: knowing what you knew then, but knowing what you know 932 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:11,920 Speaker 2: now and what you can. 933 00:43:11,840 --> 00:43:13,560 Speaker 1: Really do if you took it back over there. 934 00:43:13,880 --> 00:43:17,160 Speaker 2: You know what it is now, So that right there 935 00:43:17,239 --> 00:43:19,640 Speaker 2: is what it is that is the most important in 936 00:43:19,680 --> 00:43:22,160 Speaker 2: regards to you moving all the way outside of being 937 00:43:22,200 --> 00:43:24,080 Speaker 2: attached to it in the way that you are attached 938 00:43:24,080 --> 00:43:27,440 Speaker 2: to it now, because those people who are in that space, 939 00:43:28,320 --> 00:43:30,080 Speaker 2: if they love you, the way that that they supposed 940 00:43:30,080 --> 00:43:31,360 Speaker 2: to love you, they don't want you to be a 941 00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,080 Speaker 2: part of it. And I'm sure don't love me like 942 00:43:33,120 --> 00:43:36,400 Speaker 2: I think that man. Yeah and yeah again, Like you said. 943 00:43:36,200 --> 00:43:37,360 Speaker 4: I'm dealing with the comfort. 944 00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:40,760 Speaker 3: I'm just comfortable there, you know, because as a man, 945 00:43:41,040 --> 00:43:44,640 Speaker 3: though we're talking man ship, it costs. 946 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,400 Speaker 4: A man something to be all love. 947 00:43:46,960 --> 00:43:49,759 Speaker 1: No, it's a very expensive it's a man. 948 00:43:51,200 --> 00:43:53,759 Speaker 3: I want to find love again as a man. I 949 00:43:53,800 --> 00:43:56,359 Speaker 3: know how expensive that is. It's almost like I ain't 950 00:43:56,400 --> 00:44:00,360 Speaker 3: willing to pay it. But I do myself a disservice. Actually, 951 00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:04,879 Speaker 3: when I'm operating at this level, right, I'm saying to myself, Yo, 952 00:44:06,600 --> 00:44:09,160 Speaker 3: I don't want no relationship, but I'm I don't even 953 00:44:09,239 --> 00:44:13,839 Speaker 3: trust people at all, family, Like I got zero trusts, 954 00:44:14,080 --> 00:44:17,400 Speaker 3: especially for when I deal with women. It's zero trust. 955 00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:20,520 Speaker 3: Ain't no coming nowhere around me, Like I'm gonna meet 956 00:44:20,560 --> 00:44:24,000 Speaker 3: you somewhere, you know, And this is you know, this 957 00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:28,759 Speaker 3: is just standard for sin' not a bound. What I'm 958 00:44:28,800 --> 00:44:33,719 Speaker 3: saying is when you operate in the real world outside 959 00:44:33,760 --> 00:44:37,080 Speaker 3: of the streets, and you see people more comfortable with 960 00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:42,640 Speaker 3: things and people like move different than you, it's like, damn, man, 961 00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:44,759 Speaker 3: it seems like that's a nicer life to have. 962 00:44:45,080 --> 00:44:47,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, but you gotta give yourself some grace too, 963 00:44:47,600 --> 00:44:51,320 Speaker 2: because you you ain't that far removed from the space 964 00:44:51,360 --> 00:44:53,680 Speaker 2: that you was in. You just happen to be very 965 00:44:53,719 --> 00:44:56,560 Speaker 2: good at this new space to where you elevated quickly, 966 00:44:56,640 --> 00:45:00,239 Speaker 2: so quickly that you're thinking, Nigga, I'm used to they've 967 00:45:00,280 --> 00:45:02,600 Speaker 2: got the street nigga mentality. Nigga didn't hustle up this 968 00:45:02,719 --> 00:45:06,319 Speaker 2: niggauld have you got to give yourself some grace in 969 00:45:06,320 --> 00:45:08,520 Speaker 2: that regard, to give yourself some time to. 970 00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:11,200 Speaker 1: Be able to re program yourself. 971 00:45:11,239 --> 00:45:13,800 Speaker 4: My name glad. We have this helping so many niggas 972 00:45:13,840 --> 00:45:14,279 Speaker 4: watching it. 973 00:45:14,400 --> 00:45:17,640 Speaker 2: Like you gotta be able to reprogram yourself and give 974 00:45:17,680 --> 00:45:20,840 Speaker 2: yourself some time to be able to do that personally. 975 00:45:21,800 --> 00:45:27,799 Speaker 2: Fuck everybody else on every capacity, women, your homeboys, all that. 976 00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:28,120 Speaker 4: You know. 977 00:45:28,200 --> 00:45:31,160 Speaker 3: That's my vibe though, like you, if you see me here, 978 00:45:31,280 --> 00:45:33,640 Speaker 3: this is my time and have this motherfucker field up, 979 00:45:33,760 --> 00:45:35,839 Speaker 3: I'm popping, popping. It could be a bunch of fake 980 00:45:35,920 --> 00:45:38,680 Speaker 3: love in here right now. But do you need that 981 00:45:39,080 --> 00:45:41,120 Speaker 3: You don't see it, so if it didn't, I don't. 982 00:45:41,719 --> 00:45:44,440 Speaker 3: But what I'm saying is I got the ability to 983 00:45:44,480 --> 00:45:47,719 Speaker 3: do that. So I'm conscious about I don't need nobody, 984 00:45:48,160 --> 00:45:52,359 Speaker 3: but I understand that that that that I'm maneuvered into 985 00:45:52,400 --> 00:45:55,240 Speaker 3: a new spot to what I no longer have to try. 986 00:45:55,920 --> 00:45:58,080 Speaker 4: And I gotta build the new truck, I gotta curate 987 00:45:58,120 --> 00:45:58,760 Speaker 4: the new trone. 988 00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:02,040 Speaker 2: But what are you thinking is that's constantly making you 989 00:46:02,160 --> 00:46:04,680 Speaker 2: keep thinking about the fact that you can do it. 990 00:46:05,080 --> 00:46:08,680 Speaker 2: That's the thing, the fact that you saying, Man, I 991 00:46:08,680 --> 00:46:10,879 Speaker 2: can have this bitch jumping and I know I can 992 00:46:10,880 --> 00:46:11,320 Speaker 2: go through that. 993 00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,960 Speaker 1: You gotta stop thinking about that shit in that. 994 00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:18,080 Speaker 2: Capacity because the more the more you thinking about it, 995 00:46:18,080 --> 00:46:22,799 Speaker 2: the more you're gonna eventually find yourself surrounded by the 996 00:46:22,800 --> 00:46:26,319 Speaker 2: thing that you trying to remove yourself from. It's inevitable. 997 00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:28,560 Speaker 2: There's no way you can't do that because you didn't. 998 00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:33,839 Speaker 2: It's just like me, like when I go home, I 999 00:46:33,920 --> 00:46:37,000 Speaker 2: see people like I had a situation. I saw a 1000 00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:39,319 Speaker 2: dude I went to high school with, and I thought 1001 00:46:39,360 --> 00:46:41,600 Speaker 2: this nigga was above it. Like you know, it's certain 1002 00:46:41,680 --> 00:46:44,440 Speaker 2: niggas that you think they you know, they might you 1003 00:46:44,480 --> 00:46:46,359 Speaker 2: know what I mean, everybody taking the risk of going 1004 00:46:46,400 --> 00:46:48,880 Speaker 2: to jail and getting killed out here, But it's certain 1005 00:46:48,880 --> 00:46:51,359 Speaker 2: shit that certain niggas. You just man, you ain't gonna 1006 00:46:51,360 --> 00:46:55,759 Speaker 2: succumb to that. And I saw him and that wasn't 1007 00:46:55,760 --> 00:46:59,080 Speaker 2: the case. He had totally, and I'm like, damn, And 1008 00:46:59,120 --> 00:47:01,759 Speaker 2: I couldn't even bring myself to stop and holler at 1009 00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:04,880 Speaker 2: him as much as I wanted to, because I understand 1010 00:47:04,960 --> 00:47:08,600 Speaker 2: that I have removed myself completely from whatever you got 1011 00:47:08,640 --> 00:47:11,160 Speaker 2: going on, and I can't afford for it to walk 1012 00:47:11,239 --> 00:47:13,719 Speaker 2: up on you while I'm standing here hollering at you. 1013 00:47:14,320 --> 00:47:16,640 Speaker 2: I can't afford for that to be the case. I 1014 00:47:16,640 --> 00:47:19,600 Speaker 2: gotta let you stand in your space and hopefully in 1015 00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:21,799 Speaker 2: this prayer, I'm gonna give you because it broke my heart, 1016 00:47:21,840 --> 00:47:24,680 Speaker 2: but I gotta keep going. As much as I wanted 1017 00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:27,719 Speaker 2: to pull over and holler at him, I seen him, 1018 00:47:27,960 --> 00:47:29,279 Speaker 2: I mean nodding out in front of. 1019 00:47:29,280 --> 00:47:29,799 Speaker 1: The carry out. 1020 00:47:29,880 --> 00:47:31,880 Speaker 2: This is a nigga that I thought this was my 1021 00:47:32,160 --> 00:47:35,640 Speaker 2: man like, this was a nigga I never not that. 1022 00:47:36,840 --> 00:47:39,799 Speaker 2: So whatever it is that he had going on, I 1023 00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:42,600 Speaker 2: understand what I have going on won't allow me to 1024 00:47:42,600 --> 00:47:46,080 Speaker 2: put insert myself into it in the capacity that I 1025 00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:48,680 Speaker 2: wanted to. And that was natural for me to do 1026 00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:53,680 Speaker 2: because who we were the last time we interacted. Now, Man, 1027 00:47:53,760 --> 00:47:55,759 Speaker 2: what's up with you, slim Man? What you got going on? 1028 00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:58,319 Speaker 2: I know you ain't out here. Nah, I'm not dead 1029 00:47:58,400 --> 00:48:02,440 Speaker 2: no more. So what I can out of love is 1030 00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:05,160 Speaker 2: get in contact with somebody who is close to him 1031 00:48:05,280 --> 00:48:07,719 Speaker 2: and still in that kind of that vicinity and help 1032 00:48:07,760 --> 00:48:09,799 Speaker 2: him that way. And that's what I chose to do. 1033 00:48:10,120 --> 00:48:13,719 Speaker 2: I pulled another nigga that I know that from his neighborhood. Hey, man, 1034 00:48:13,719 --> 00:48:15,359 Speaker 2: come home, let me Man, I gotta talk to you 1035 00:48:15,400 --> 00:48:17,080 Speaker 2: so I can get the backstory of what I just 1036 00:48:17,120 --> 00:48:19,440 Speaker 2: saw and my tripping. What's going on? He gave me 1037 00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:21,960 Speaker 2: the backstory. Man, do this for him, look out for 1038 00:48:22,040 --> 00:48:23,640 Speaker 2: him in this way. Tell him it came from me. 1039 00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:24,719 Speaker 1: You know what I mean. 1040 00:48:24,840 --> 00:48:25,960 Speaker 4: You gotta still away. 1041 00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:28,520 Speaker 1: But you got it. You can't insert yourself with me. 1042 00:48:28,600 --> 00:48:29,520 Speaker 4: I think I'm saying. 1043 00:48:29,640 --> 00:48:32,080 Speaker 3: I think what I'm saying is when I say I 1044 00:48:32,080 --> 00:48:34,640 Speaker 3: can have a bunch of people in here, what I'm 1045 00:48:34,680 --> 00:48:41,719 Speaker 3: saying is is that I refuse to surround myself with 1046 00:48:41,880 --> 00:48:47,760 Speaker 3: fake love. Now by consequence, because I've been wrong about 1047 00:48:47,760 --> 00:48:48,600 Speaker 3: it several times. 1048 00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:49,759 Speaker 1: I was just about to say that. 1049 00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:54,680 Speaker 4: It's made me say, fuck surrounding yourself. 1050 00:48:54,280 --> 00:48:57,239 Speaker 2: With love with any you know. I mean right, and 1051 00:48:57,280 --> 00:48:59,360 Speaker 2: I think, guess what I'm dealing with. You gotta be 1052 00:48:59,440 --> 00:49:00,560 Speaker 2: able to identify. 1053 00:49:01,320 --> 00:49:02,520 Speaker 4: So what do you staying with? 1054 00:49:02,719 --> 00:49:05,080 Speaker 3: Relationships and shit like as far as what you're in 1055 00:49:05,080 --> 00:49:09,160 Speaker 3: a relationship, as far as an intimate relationship, no, I'm 1056 00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:10,440 Speaker 3: in a couple of them. 1057 00:49:11,000 --> 00:49:12,520 Speaker 1: I got multiple women ideas. 1058 00:49:14,000 --> 00:49:17,360 Speaker 2: But the thing about it is I say that, and 1059 00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:19,880 Speaker 2: I'm very honest as well. I don't do no line, 1060 00:49:20,160 --> 00:49:22,759 Speaker 2: ain't no games being played. Every woman that deals with 1061 00:49:22,800 --> 00:49:25,399 Speaker 2: me knows exactly what they dealing with. Like the way 1062 00:49:25,440 --> 00:49:28,440 Speaker 2: I make a long story short, I make the outside 1063 00:49:28,440 --> 00:49:30,560 Speaker 2: of my house ugly. I leave with all the shit 1064 00:49:30,640 --> 00:49:33,400 Speaker 2: that you're gonna catch your nigga doing. I'm telling you 1065 00:49:33,520 --> 00:49:36,319 Speaker 2: up front, this is what I have going on. You're 1066 00:49:36,320 --> 00:49:38,439 Speaker 2: not gonna be the only woman I deal with. You're 1067 00:49:38,440 --> 00:49:40,480 Speaker 2: not gonna be the only woman I talk to. You're 1068 00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:42,719 Speaker 2: not gonna be the only woman I have a relationship with. 1069 00:49:43,160 --> 00:49:45,560 Speaker 2: So if you come over here, know that that's gonna 1070 00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:47,960 Speaker 2: be the reality. Now, as far as the details of that, 1071 00:49:48,239 --> 00:49:50,200 Speaker 2: I usually don't even have to get into that because 1072 00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:55,279 Speaker 2: that eliminates majority or the questions that come once you 1073 00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:55,960 Speaker 2: lead with that. 1074 00:49:56,120 --> 00:49:58,240 Speaker 1: But that's who I am and that's how I operate. 1075 00:49:58,320 --> 00:50:01,680 Speaker 2: But what that does for me is that allows me 1076 00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,680 Speaker 2: to be able to surround myself with people who I 1077 00:50:04,719 --> 00:50:07,600 Speaker 2: can hold to the same standard that I hold myself 1078 00:50:07,640 --> 00:50:10,959 Speaker 2: to and tell the truth to. Like I always say 1079 00:50:11,360 --> 00:50:14,120 Speaker 2: one thing that I find very interesting about niggas when 1080 00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:16,360 Speaker 2: I had conversations when we you know, were about to 1081 00:50:16,360 --> 00:50:18,799 Speaker 2: go into something. You know, a lot of people always 1082 00:50:19,239 --> 00:50:21,480 Speaker 2: interact with me about or ask me about because I've 1083 00:50:21,520 --> 00:50:23,920 Speaker 2: been so vocal about it, and I live like this 1084 00:50:23,960 --> 00:50:26,799 Speaker 2: is really my life. I always find it funny that 1085 00:50:26,960 --> 00:50:30,000 Speaker 2: niggas can be a real nigga everywhere except for in 1086 00:50:30,040 --> 00:50:33,840 Speaker 2: their house. You a real nigga in the streets. You 1087 00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:36,000 Speaker 2: will do all this shit, but when you go home, 1088 00:50:36,440 --> 00:50:38,680 Speaker 2: you can't look at this woman that you say you 1089 00:50:38,800 --> 00:50:41,440 Speaker 2: supposed to be the king and the leader and be 1090 00:50:41,560 --> 00:50:45,160 Speaker 2: who you really are nigga. That's yeah, I can't. I 1091 00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:46,200 Speaker 2: can't live like that. 1092 00:50:46,520 --> 00:50:50,839 Speaker 3: Like see, because what dudes are doing acting, Yeah very 1093 00:50:50,880 --> 00:50:53,640 Speaker 3: good too. So yeah dudes are undiscovered actors. Man, when 1094 00:50:53,680 --> 00:50:56,240 Speaker 3: they are out here, they ain't. That's not a nigga 1095 00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:57,480 Speaker 3: taking care of no bingess. 1096 00:50:57,480 --> 00:50:59,279 Speaker 2: He just looked like and he just looked like that 1097 00:50:59,360 --> 00:51:03,000 Speaker 2: costume tell you what's really going on, right, that's where 1098 00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:06,480 Speaker 2: you get it from. And for me, I've learned in 1099 00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:11,759 Speaker 2: me being this way with women and being forthcoming about 1100 00:51:11,840 --> 00:51:14,480 Speaker 2: who I am completely that you learn the truth of 1101 00:51:14,520 --> 00:51:18,520 Speaker 2: who women are. See, most niggas don't know who these 1102 00:51:18,560 --> 00:51:22,400 Speaker 2: women really are. But when you lead with this and 1103 00:51:22,440 --> 00:51:24,840 Speaker 2: the disarming the thing, because all of this shit is 1104 00:51:24,880 --> 00:51:27,279 Speaker 2: just disarming you because all of the things that you 1105 00:51:27,400 --> 00:51:29,520 Speaker 2: got bottled up and you think you're going to be 1106 00:51:29,560 --> 00:51:31,960 Speaker 2: able to sneak and can nad that ain't happening over here. 1107 00:51:32,000 --> 00:51:35,399 Speaker 2: It's a whole nother program. Like if you playing full 1108 00:51:35,440 --> 00:51:38,879 Speaker 2: court basketball, I'm letting you know I'm out here because 1109 00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:41,240 Speaker 2: I fuck with you. I love women, especially Black women, 1110 00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:43,759 Speaker 2: So I'm over here, but I'm over here on this 1111 00:51:43,840 --> 00:51:46,160 Speaker 2: side court with this tennis ball. So if you want 1112 00:51:46,200 --> 00:51:48,759 Speaker 2: to play full court, if you're looking for a relationship, 1113 00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:51,480 Speaker 2: and do your thing, but don't come over here fucking 1114 00:51:51,520 --> 00:51:53,960 Speaker 2: with this unless you want to learn a new game. 1115 00:51:54,239 --> 00:51:55,279 Speaker 1: That's just what it is. 1116 00:51:55,560 --> 00:51:59,319 Speaker 2: And then having those types of conversations you learn the 1117 00:51:59,360 --> 00:52:03,840 Speaker 2: things that most niggas don't know. And in my environment 1118 00:52:03,920 --> 00:52:07,720 Speaker 2: growing up, the game that I got about women came 1119 00:52:07,800 --> 00:52:08,400 Speaker 2: from women. 1120 00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:10,879 Speaker 1: A nigga ain't never gave me. 1121 00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:13,880 Speaker 2: No game in regards to a woman that I could 1122 00:52:14,040 --> 00:52:18,480 Speaker 2: utilize in regards to my interaction with a woman. Niggas 1123 00:52:18,480 --> 00:52:21,880 Speaker 2: have gave me the game to how to handle being 1124 00:52:21,960 --> 00:52:23,960 Speaker 2: with a woman and the shit that you do in 1125 00:52:24,000 --> 00:52:26,880 Speaker 2: regards to getting them and keeping them and all of that. 1126 00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:29,600 Speaker 2: But day to day interactions and the things that you're 1127 00:52:29,640 --> 00:52:32,879 Speaker 2: gonna notice that a woman is doing to you. And again, 1128 00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:35,040 Speaker 2: like you said, them tricks and all of that, that's 1129 00:52:35,080 --> 00:52:38,200 Speaker 2: only gonna come from a woman because they are iron clad. 1130 00:52:38,239 --> 00:52:42,680 Speaker 2: The difference between niggas and women is niggas get caught 1131 00:52:42,880 --> 00:52:45,680 Speaker 2: women get away with it. That's why you hear niggas 1132 00:52:45,719 --> 00:52:48,640 Speaker 2: ain't shit. Niggas ain't shit because niggas is constantly getting 1133 00:52:48,640 --> 00:52:52,200 Speaker 2: caught up because women are emotionally more developed and able 1134 00:52:52,280 --> 00:52:55,319 Speaker 2: to handle the bullshit and the stress that we give 1135 00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:57,719 Speaker 2: them way better than we are able to. 1136 00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:00,200 Speaker 1: Handle the stress that they give us. 1137 00:53:00,320 --> 00:53:02,800 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, Like you can fuck fifty 1138 00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:04,640 Speaker 2: women on your girl. You found out she gave a 1139 00:53:04,719 --> 00:53:07,120 Speaker 2: nigga a hug too long, you ready to kill everybody. 1140 00:53:07,480 --> 00:53:09,720 Speaker 2: So that's just the difference. When you think about somebody 1141 00:53:09,719 --> 00:53:12,880 Speaker 2: who can endure that much shit that you have agreed 1142 00:53:12,920 --> 00:53:15,200 Speaker 2: that you would never do to this person. What is 1143 00:53:15,239 --> 00:53:18,239 Speaker 2: she doing in that time to quell those emotions that 1144 00:53:18,280 --> 00:53:21,000 Speaker 2: you've given them? What she develop What is she developing 1145 00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:24,399 Speaker 2: into that in those moments. That's what I've been able 1146 00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:27,239 Speaker 2: to be privy to now that I stopped being full 1147 00:53:27,239 --> 00:53:28,560 Speaker 2: of shit, because I used to be full of shit 1148 00:53:28,640 --> 00:53:30,279 Speaker 2: like every other nigga, you know what I mean, as 1149 00:53:30,320 --> 00:53:32,920 Speaker 2: a younger nigga. But after a certain point in my 1150 00:53:32,960 --> 00:53:35,399 Speaker 2: life at twenty three years old, you know what I mean, 1151 00:53:35,480 --> 00:53:39,560 Speaker 2: I was like, you know what, I'm really on some 1152 00:53:39,600 --> 00:53:40,160 Speaker 2: sucker shit. 1153 00:53:40,480 --> 00:53:43,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, Like, and that's a reality, chick. 1154 00:53:44,440 --> 00:53:49,160 Speaker 2: I'm really on some sucker shit, yeah, and pretending to 1155 00:53:49,160 --> 00:53:52,080 Speaker 2: be somebody to make them like me, and saying whatever 1156 00:53:52,160 --> 00:53:54,759 Speaker 2: I need to say to make you that sucker shit. 1157 00:53:55,200 --> 00:53:57,439 Speaker 2: And I ain't never been a sucker and I ain't 1158 00:53:57,440 --> 00:53:59,960 Speaker 2: never been able to be around. I ain't never been 1159 00:54:00,120 --> 00:54:02,680 Speaker 2: comfortable in that space. But when it comes to this 1160 00:54:02,680 --> 00:54:05,840 Speaker 2: this female, I throw all that ship out the window 1161 00:54:07,280 --> 00:54:09,240 Speaker 2: just to be able to say I got some pussy 1162 00:54:09,440 --> 00:54:12,560 Speaker 2: that is not straight. But we do that, we do 1163 00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:15,120 Speaker 2: it to young men right now. Yeah, don't do that 1164 00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:17,200 Speaker 2: if you can help it and you gotta go through it. 1165 00:54:17,239 --> 00:54:20,200 Speaker 2: I understand it's tough because I've been through it. I've 1166 00:54:20,200 --> 00:54:22,239 Speaker 2: been the nigga that sometimes. 1167 00:54:21,719 --> 00:54:23,480 Speaker 1: It's just you. It is what it is. 1168 00:54:23,560 --> 00:54:28,120 Speaker 2: But at this point in life, I'm not going to 1169 00:54:28,160 --> 00:54:30,840 Speaker 2: pretend to be anything ever. 1170 00:54:31,600 --> 00:54:34,480 Speaker 1: This is who I am, this is what comes with me. 1171 00:54:34,680 --> 00:54:35,759 Speaker 4: What turned you into that? 1172 00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:38,359 Speaker 1: Just being able to understand you. 1173 00:54:38,320 --> 00:54:41,200 Speaker 4: Didn't you didn't have you didn't always be. 1174 00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:42,359 Speaker 1: No no, no, no no. 1175 00:54:42,560 --> 00:54:46,040 Speaker 2: It was just one of those moments where I went 1176 00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:49,919 Speaker 2: through some ship. And really it was a conversation I had. 1177 00:54:51,040 --> 00:54:53,520 Speaker 2: I think we might have got I say, I became 1178 00:54:53,600 --> 00:54:55,960 Speaker 2: that way from It was really a conversation that I 1179 00:54:56,000 --> 00:54:59,080 Speaker 2: had with my mama. I had a conversation with my 1180 00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:02,120 Speaker 2: mother man and and I don't even think I ever 1181 00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:05,520 Speaker 2: talked about this before, but I had a conversation with 1182 00:55:05,560 --> 00:55:09,960 Speaker 2: my mother about my father. And she never talked to 1183 00:55:10,000 --> 00:55:13,080 Speaker 2: me about who my father was. She talked to me 1184 00:55:13,120 --> 00:55:15,800 Speaker 2: about how my father was, like you act like your daddy, 1185 00:55:15,800 --> 00:55:17,680 Speaker 2: you look like your daddy, you lie like your daddy, 1186 00:55:17,719 --> 00:55:21,160 Speaker 2: But she never told me who he was as a man. 1187 00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:24,080 Speaker 2: And having this conversation where it was just spur of 1188 00:55:24,080 --> 00:55:26,080 Speaker 2: the moment, Like I said, I'm, you know, staying in 1189 00:55:26,120 --> 00:55:28,799 Speaker 2: North Carolina. I went home to visit and I had 1190 00:55:28,880 --> 00:55:31,160 Speaker 2: just went through some shit and stopped dealing with a 1191 00:55:31,200 --> 00:55:34,480 Speaker 2: female based on some. 1192 00:55:34,400 --> 00:55:35,560 Speaker 1: Bullshit that I did. 1193 00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:38,560 Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying, And I'm having a conversation, 1194 00:55:38,640 --> 00:55:39,799 Speaker 2: and I just I asked my mom. 1195 00:55:39,880 --> 00:55:42,920 Speaker 1: I was like, my daddy ever cheat on you? And 1196 00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:44,120 Speaker 1: she was like, cheat on. 1197 00:55:44,120 --> 00:55:47,200 Speaker 4: Me, like much as you can, just in case it's 1198 00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:48,279 Speaker 4: doing some funny shit. 1199 00:55:48,360 --> 00:55:50,000 Speaker 2: She said, cheat on me. She was like, what made 1200 00:55:50,040 --> 00:55:51,640 Speaker 2: you ask me that? I'm like, I'm just wondering if 1201 00:55:51,640 --> 00:55:54,040 Speaker 2: you ever went through that with my father. She was like, oh, 1202 00:55:54,080 --> 00:55:55,560 Speaker 2: with you out here, nigga, you got your dig in 1203 00:55:55,560 --> 00:55:57,600 Speaker 2: the streets. This, my mama, is how she talked to me, 1204 00:55:57,840 --> 00:55:59,400 Speaker 2: Like when you got your digg in the streets. I'm like, 1205 00:56:00,160 --> 00:56:02,520 Speaker 2: yeah to an extent, But I just was wondering, if 1206 00:56:02,600 --> 00:56:04,600 Speaker 2: you know, because I don't know who my daddy. I 1207 00:56:04,640 --> 00:56:06,120 Speaker 2: don't know if I got something. I don't know if 1208 00:56:06,160 --> 00:56:07,920 Speaker 2: this nigga was a you know, if he had that 1209 00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:10,120 Speaker 2: black snake mo owning him, Like was this nigga the 1210 00:56:10,239 --> 00:56:11,600 Speaker 2: hound dog or who was he? 1211 00:56:11,640 --> 00:56:12,280 Speaker 1: In that regard? 1212 00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,880 Speaker 2: Because I'm at this point, I'm feeling like a sucker 1213 00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:17,600 Speaker 2: because I had got caught doing some shit that was 1214 00:56:17,640 --> 00:56:20,040 Speaker 2: some sucker shit. I'm bitched, and caught me up lying 1215 00:56:20,080 --> 00:56:23,000 Speaker 2: about some sucker shit, and I just felt like, man, 1216 00:56:23,000 --> 00:56:25,160 Speaker 2: and that's the only person I can come to about it. 1217 00:56:25,280 --> 00:56:27,360 Speaker 2: So she was like, your daddy ain't never had to 1218 00:56:27,440 --> 00:56:30,160 Speaker 2: cheat on me. She's like, your daddy ain't never told 1219 00:56:30,200 --> 00:56:33,200 Speaker 2: me nothing but what it was. She was like, So 1220 00:56:33,640 --> 00:56:35,880 Speaker 2: that's the ont And that's why I feel like I 1221 00:56:35,920 --> 00:56:38,480 Speaker 2: ain't had nobody to ever meet that standard since then, 1222 00:56:39,080 --> 00:56:42,160 Speaker 2: because everybody that came in contact with me then been 1223 00:56:42,239 --> 00:56:44,040 Speaker 2: full of shit. And I ain't a bitch that you 1224 00:56:44,080 --> 00:56:47,160 Speaker 2: can play with like that. And I'm like, you know what, 1225 00:56:47,920 --> 00:56:50,920 Speaker 2: that changed my perspective, and they gave me a little 1226 00:56:50,920 --> 00:56:53,880 Speaker 2: glimpse into Okay, my daddy was a he was telling 1227 00:56:53,920 --> 00:56:54,280 Speaker 2: the truth. 1228 00:56:54,280 --> 00:56:55,400 Speaker 1: What does that even look like? 1229 00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:57,279 Speaker 2: What does it feel like to look a woman in 1230 00:56:57,320 --> 00:56:59,799 Speaker 2: the face and be able to tell her some shit 1231 00:56:59,800 --> 00:57:02,080 Speaker 2: that did a maker turn around and walk away from 1232 00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:06,680 Speaker 2: you and be all right with it. I had no idea. 1233 00:57:06,360 --> 00:57:08,600 Speaker 4: What that was that to say something to a woman. 1234 00:57:08,960 --> 00:57:12,840 Speaker 2: But is you are saying, I'm good taking that l 1235 00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:15,839 Speaker 2: of you not getting whatever it is you. I had 1236 00:57:15,920 --> 00:57:18,160 Speaker 2: no idea what that felt like. I didn't even know 1237 00:57:18,240 --> 00:57:21,200 Speaker 2: that that was something that could be done outside of 1238 00:57:21,200 --> 00:57:24,360 Speaker 2: the type of relationships that I saw my uncles have. 1239 00:57:24,520 --> 00:57:26,200 Speaker 1: That was, you know, pimps.