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Speaker 1: Ten Takes is a production of the NFL in partnership

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Speaker 1: with iHeartRadio. Welcome everybody, Thank you for clicking. I appreciate you.

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Speaker 1: I love you. Ten Takes with Kyle Brandt's episode two

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Speaker 1: about Week two in the NFL Seeds. You know how

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Speaker 1: this goes. I have ten takes to share with you,

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Speaker 1: and I have just ten minutes to do it. Jack

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Speaker 1: Bauer Keifer Sudlin is our muse. We are diffusing a

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Speaker 1: bomb on this show. You don't have time in your

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Speaker 1: life for these long ass podcasts. You can't do it concise,

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Speaker 1: lean mean ten minutes. A lot of you have tweeted

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Speaker 1: where you've been listening to it. Continue to do that.

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Speaker 1: Tweet me where you're listening. Ten minute, an extended bathroom break.

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Speaker 1: We love you right now on the porcelain thrones. If

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Speaker 1: you're listening, go ahead and take off the headphones, disconnect bluetooth.

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Speaker 1: Play it for the stall next to you, Play it

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Speaker 1: for the down the hall. Guy still at his desk

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Speaker 1: just blasted, why not we're big in bathrooms, That's what

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Speaker 1: I hear. Takes Kyle Brampt ten minutes. Let's start the

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Speaker 1: damn clock right now. Take number one, Michaeh Parsons is

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Speaker 1: the best player in the NFL. He is the best

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Speaker 1: player in the NFL. My god, watching that dude. There

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Speaker 1: is no player right now in the league at any

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Speaker 1: position who does their job better than Michaeh Parsons does his.

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Speaker 1: What he did to the Jets, to Zach Wilson, to

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Speaker 1: Nathaniel Hackett, Robert Sala, the entire state of New Jersey

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Speaker 1: was unholy. They knew what was coming from Parsons. They

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Speaker 1: probably spent most of the week on offense preparing for

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Speaker 1: number eleven for the Cowboys, thinking about blocking schemes, helping

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Speaker 1: over there, and it did nothing. He did whatever he

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Speaker 1: wanted with him and I thought he had a scoop

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Speaker 1: and score touchdown. He is the player to watch in

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Speaker 1: the NFL right now. Some great ones in Mahomes' Mahomes

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Speaker 1: and TJ Watt What did not play Yesterday's Great Pastors

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Speaker 1: Hat three sax week When Michaeh Parsons is a terminator,

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Speaker 1: it is so fun. They should do a whole deal

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Speaker 1: where every time the Cowboys defense is on screen, put

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Speaker 1: Michaeh Parsons in a little bubble on the bottom left.

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Speaker 1: I just want a Parsons, Cam, I don't care if

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Speaker 1: he's on the sideline. I don't care if he's running

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Speaker 1: in the locker room. In fact, put the game in

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Speaker 1: the bubble and put Micah Parsons in the rest of

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Speaker 1: the screen. Best player in the NFL Take number two.

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Speaker 1: You know who's not the best player in the NFL.

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Speaker 1: Zach Wilson. We sat here and listened for a week,

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Speaker 1: and our hearts were a little bit broken, all things

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Speaker 1: being equal, for the New York Jets, because what they

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Speaker 1: went through, and they rallied around Zach Wilson. We believe

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Speaker 1: in Zach, and this is Zach's team, and we're all

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Speaker 1: kind of like, all right, Robert Salin, I got you, sure. Sure.

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Speaker 1: In the meanwhile, we're thinking, like, doesn't he kind of suck?

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Speaker 1: But it sounds great. The sound bites are there, and

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Speaker 1: we got that nice Sacher in that Hard Knocks puts

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Speaker 1: over every player when Leave Schreiber is talking about them

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Speaker 1: and the music's played doom there in slow motion. Think,

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Speaker 1: you know, maybe Zach Wilson would be a really cool story. No,

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Speaker 1: he's not. He's not good. And I hate to be

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Speaker 1: so harsh, but did you watch that game The Jets

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Speaker 1: were in that game, and he just started chucking picks

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Speaker 1: out of every orifice of his body. When someone tells

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Speaker 1: you who they are, believe that. When someone tells you,

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Speaker 1: now for three years, where they are, you better believe them.

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Speaker 1: Zach Wilson is not a first year guy. This isn't

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Speaker 1: even like a Trey Lance type who we haven't seen much.

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Speaker 1: We've seen it. We saw it a lot. The Cowboys

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Speaker 1: obviously saw it, and then they won because of it.

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Speaker 1: And I'm seeing people who I know and like and respect,

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Speaker 1: like Peter Schrager, floating theories about how the Vikings should

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Speaker 1: trade Kirk Cousins to the Jets. I saw Bill Simmons

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Speaker 1: talking about the same thing. I don't think the Jets

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Speaker 1: will do that. I think they're stubborn and they're belief

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Speaker 1: behind Zach Wilson. Also, I think trading for Kirk Cousins

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Speaker 1: to rescue the Jets season I think, in a strange way,

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Speaker 1: would ruffle feathers with Aaron Rodgers, who despite not being there,

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Speaker 1: not being intact, kind of still runs the show and

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Speaker 1: they're thinking he's coming back next year, and even have

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Speaker 1: delusions of him coming back this year. I honestly think

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Speaker 1: you wouldn't like that, And they're committed to Rogers and

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Speaker 1: by proxy committed to Wilson. I don't think they're gonna

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Speaker 1: do it. Take number three, Josh Allen. What do you know?

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Speaker 1: He's not the worst player in the NFL. He's not

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Speaker 1: the worst quarterback. It always happens this way. I saw

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Speaker 1: it coming a mile away. Every time Josh Allen has

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Speaker 1: the I'm a nine year old drinking and mashing buttons

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Speaker 1: playing Madden game, which is ironic because he's actually on

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Speaker 1: the Madden cover and people say he just have to

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Speaker 1: take care of the football. They can't win with Josh Allen.

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Speaker 1: Too many mistakes, too many turnovers. He has a game

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Speaker 1: like he had against the Raiders in which he did

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Speaker 1: whatever he wanted. He's doing jump passes, he's doing side arm,

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Speaker 1: he's thrown laid over the middle. That is who he is.

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Speaker 1: What did I just say? If someone tells you who

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Speaker 1: they are, believe him. He's in a sixth year. He's

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Speaker 1: not someddenly gonna change sober up on the football field

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Speaker 1: and start throwing the ball away. The Buffalo Bills are

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Speaker 1: gonna live and die, not just this year, not just

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Speaker 1: this month. But the entire Josh Allen administration, hopefully another

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Speaker 1: decade to come. They're gonna live and die with the sword.

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Speaker 1: He does what he does, he will always do it. It

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Speaker 1: will always be erradic, bold, dared devil. He's a maverick,

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Speaker 1: That's who he is, and top gun Mavericks his favorite movie.

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Speaker 1: I haven't on good authority. Take number four, The New

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Speaker 1: York Giants save their season. People are reluctant to use

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Speaker 1: that quote. I've seen them say, well, listen, we never

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Speaker 1: know what could happen. I'm not gonna say they save

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Speaker 1: their season Week two by beating the Cardinals. No, they did.

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Speaker 1: They definitely save their season. Not only would you go

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Speaker 1: and two against allegedly the worst team in the NFL who

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Speaker 1: actually plays really tough. Look at the stats. I looked

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Speaker 1: it up. Since nineteen ninety, teams to start zero to

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Speaker 1: two missed the playoffs eighty nine percent of the time.

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Speaker 1: One in ten turns the season around to make the playoffs.

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Speaker 1: They weren't doing it, especially when they start this season

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Speaker 1: down sixty to nothing. Daniel Jones turned into like good

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Speaker 1: Josh Allen. He was awesome. I get Daniel Jones A

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Speaker 1: lot of crap I was kind of skeptical of him

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Speaker 1: and all the money. He was awesome in the second half.

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Speaker 1: Looked like a star, not just a game manager, not

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Speaker 1: just the guy they paid because they think they can

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Speaker 1: win with them, and they got the right pieces. He

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Speaker 1: looked like the piece Daniel Jones. The Giants saved their season.

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Speaker 1: Don't let anybody tell you otherwise. Take number five. I'm

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Speaker 1: not really surprised by the and two teams. I was asked,

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Speaker 1: that's this morning, good morning football. Which of the O

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Speaker 1: and two teams surprises you? There's only one pats. I'm

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Speaker 1: not surprised. Chargers. I can't be surprised. And Brandon Staley

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Speaker 1: was really frosty after the game. Went asked if they

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Speaker 1: still think they're hungover from losing that terrible Jacksonville playoff game.

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Speaker 1: Not surprised. Texan's not surprised. Not surprised the Bengals either.

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Speaker 1: Not only is the two years in a row. I

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Speaker 1: predicted it last week. Last year they started going two

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Speaker 1: and their quarterback wasn't injured. He's injured now. The Bronco's

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Speaker 1: not surprised. I can't say I'm surprised with the Vikings either.

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Speaker 1: Their own line. Their defense is bad. Cardinal's not surprised.

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Speaker 1: I am surprised at the Bears, though I didn't think

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Speaker 1: going to this all come together this year. The worst

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Speaker 1: prediction I made so far this year, and I've probably

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Speaker 1: made a bunch of battles that the Bears would win

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Speaker 1: the NFC North. I don't know what they're doing. It's

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Speaker 1: really depressing. I mean, they've lost twelve games in a row.

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Speaker 1: That makes you the worst team in the NFL. Right,

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Speaker 1: twelve in a row, going back to last year, they're

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Speaker 1: the worst team in the NFL. I don't do power rankings,

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Speaker 1: but they should be thirty two. Take number six. The

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Speaker 1: Falcons keep winning and I love them and I hate them.

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Speaker 1: They play a really cool brand of football where they

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Speaker 1: just run and play defense and Desmond Ridgers got some

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Speaker 1: moxie to him and has to make a few throws.

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Speaker 1: But they're wreaking havoc on my personal life, my social life.

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Speaker 1: If you don't know, if you turn a good morning

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Speaker 1: football look at my social I had this crazy, stupid,

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Speaker 1: creepy mustache. I said I would grow it in solidarity

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Speaker 1: with Arthur Smith, the Falcons head coach. As long as

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Speaker 1: they keep winning, didn't think it would happen. Guys, I

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Speaker 1: thought they lose the opener. They didn't. I definitely thought

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Speaker 1: they'd lose to the Packers. They didn't. And now I

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Speaker 1: have people coming up to me like who I know

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Speaker 1: in town and they're like, whoa, what's that about. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: it's for the Falcons? Like what doesn't make any sense?

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Speaker 1: Like are you from Atlanta? No? Did you pick the

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Speaker 1: Falcons to win? No? Do you know their coach? No?

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Speaker 1: It doesn't make any sense. It's awkward for me. It's uncomfortable,

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Speaker 1: but I'm still gonna do it and they might beat

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Speaker 1: the Lions next week. Take number seven? How much do

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Speaker 1: you love Pooka Nakula? How much do you love Pooka Nakua?

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Speaker 1: I had a moment in Fantasy this week where I

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Speaker 1: benched Dj Moore for Pooka Nakua. Dj Moore was trading

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Speaker 1: for the number one overall picking the draft. That's a

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Speaker 1: big bounty for DJ Moore and I sat his butt

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Speaker 1: down in Fantasy for Poka Nakua. And what did Puka

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Speaker 1: Nakua of the La Rams do? He had fifteen bleeping

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Speaker 1: catches on twenty targets twenty Jamar Chase can't get anything

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Speaker 1: done justin Jefferson has seen stats to feel like empty coweries.

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Speaker 1: But Pooka Nakua with twenty targets. Matthew Stafford's been in

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Speaker 1: this league. I feel like since the nineties. He loves

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Speaker 1: Pooka Nakua. It is so fun, and I gonna keep

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Speaker 1: starting him. I would bench anybody for Pooka Nakua. I

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Speaker 1: would sit down in his prime Randy Mos for Pooka Nakua.

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Speaker 1: I will start him from my cold dead hands. Will

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Speaker 1: you take Pooka Nakua from me? And fantasy? It's not

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Speaker 1: gonna happen. Take number eight. Speaking of Fantasy, I'm not

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Speaker 1: gonna make my own team because everybody hates that. Is

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Speaker 1: there a worse loss in fantasy than when you lose

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Speaker 1: because of the other team's kicker? God, do I hate that.

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Speaker 1: It's okay if the other team's got the Mahomes type

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Speaker 1: or Jefferson or an Austin Eckler type who just puts

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Speaker 1: up big numbers, you expect that, damn. You know. Austin

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Speaker 1: Eckler put up thirty six points last year and that

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Speaker 1: week and that just killed me. But when you have

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Speaker 1: the lead and you get that sneaky game where your

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Speaker 1: team that you're playing against the kicker as four field

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Speaker 1: goals and three of them are from fifty plus. It's like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, the kicker just put up twenty two points.

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Speaker 1: That's not fair. I lost because of Nick Folk this

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Speaker 1: week and Nick folk Folk, the folk hero, the Titans kicker.

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Speaker 1: He had thirty six field goals and he had fifty

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Speaker 1: the week before, so annoying. The Titans win though Titans

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Speaker 1: never go away. They're just bobbing out there at sea.

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Speaker 1: You can't dunk them underwater. They win. Nick Folk, gotta

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Speaker 1: respect you, but I hate you all right. Take number nine.

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Speaker 1: I had a terrible dining experience over the weekend. I

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Speaker 1: went to a nice Italian restaurant with my wife and

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Speaker 1: two friends and I ordered a steak and the steak

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Speaker 1: came out really great. It was just the mood for

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Speaker 1: a steak. And on the side of the plane, I

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Speaker 1: didn't know what the side on it was gonna be.

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Speaker 1: It was probably six pounds of cauliflower, six pounds of steamed,

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Speaker 1: disgusting cauliflower, and it made me say, who back in

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Speaker 1: the kitchen's like, you know what we should really treat

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Speaker 1: our customers to how about a whole mess of cauliflower

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Speaker 1: on the plate? Is there anyone out there, I'm talking

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Speaker 1: to you who not just tolerates cauliflower, who not just

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Speaker 1: abides it, who has their fist in the air for

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Speaker 1: a team cauliflower is something they love to eat, they

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Speaker 1: want their family to eat, and they're like, I just

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Speaker 1: can't get enough cauliflower in my life. I love the stuff.

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Speaker 1: In my experience, most of the time you run across cauliflowers.

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Speaker 1: You go to somebody's house and they go to cost

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Speaker 1: going that little veggie tray where you appeal the plastic offit,

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Speaker 1: and there's the ranch in the middle, and there's the

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Speaker 1: carrots and the tomatoes and the bean sprouts and the cauliflower.

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Speaker 1: And if you show up late to that party, the

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Speaker 1: cauliflower is the only thing left. Everyone else is picked

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Speaker 1: over because nobody likes cauliflower. Is there big cauliflower a

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Speaker 1: powerful union behind it to keep putting it on our plates.

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Speaker 1: I didn't touch one ounce of the cauliflower, and I

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Speaker 1: hope they brought my plate back to show the chef

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Speaker 1: maybe we should diw down our cauliflower. I only have

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Speaker 1: thirty seconds left. My favorite moment of the weekend. Referee

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Speaker 1: Alex Camp rolled the tape Sensional browning offense number seven.

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Speaker 1: It's a ten yard pedally and I'm talking to America

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Speaker 1: here at school. So ten yard pedally and a loss

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Speaker 1: of down, I mean second down. That's right. He's standing

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Speaker 1: there trying to talk to America and he's got Geno

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Speaker 1: Smith barking at him to argue. It had all these

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Speaker 1: pangs of like you're trying to have an important phone

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Speaker 1: call and your kid's like, Daddy, can you type in

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Speaker 1: the password on my kindle? I want to play rollblocks

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Speaker 1: and you're like, I'm on the phone. I'm talking to work.

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Speaker 1: Except his work was I'm talking to America. Alex Camp,

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Speaker 1: my favorite referee, and that is ten minutes. Boo. That's

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Speaker 1: how we do it. I haven't taken a breath. I

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Speaker 1: held my nose even when we were talking about Kyliflower.

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Speaker 1: That is it. It is over. Ten takes ten minutes.

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Speaker 1: We promise it every single time. We love you people.

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Speaker 1: Not an ounce of fat on that sucker, because this

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Speaker 1: podcast is cauliflower fed. See you next week. Ten Takes

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Speaker 1: with Kyle Brant. Hope you liked it. Tweet the show.

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Speaker 1: Tell your friends, follow, like, review all that stuff, See

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Speaker 1: you guys. Ten Takes is a production of the NFL

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Speaker 1: in partnership with iHeartRadio. For more iHeartRadio pods, go to

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Speaker 1: the iHeartRadio app, go to Apple, go anywhere you like,

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Speaker 1: it'll be there.