WEBVTT - Real Talk with Jhonni of Love and Hip Hop 0:00:04.200 --> 0:00:07.800 Hey guys, welcome, Welcome. Your ringo was good. It is 0:00:07.840 --> 0:00:11.039 exactly a Mada and this is your girl A Mada. 0:00:11.320 --> 0:00:13.400 Thank you so much for joining me every Thursday. You 0:00:13.480 --> 0:00:16.840 already know to do. I want to do a little 0:00:16.880 --> 0:00:19.880 something different because I wanted to bring a special guest. 0:00:20.120 --> 0:00:26.279 Um knowing that you know, we are somewhat we're somewhat 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:30.880 like loving hip hop family without being loving hip hop 0:00:30.920 --> 0:00:34.839 family because we're on different franchises. Today I'm talking to 0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:37.600 someone who is part of loving hip hop. Hey, Johnny, 0:00:37.640 --> 0:00:41.720 how are you doing? You look beautiful? And forgive me 0:00:41.720 --> 0:00:43.640 because I look a little crunchy today. I wish that 0:00:43.640 --> 0:00:48.120 I was more familous. Tell me where are you located 0:00:48.200 --> 0:00:51.400 right now? I'm in between l A and Atlanta. WI. 0:00:51.560 --> 0:00:54.280 Do you like more l A because it's more R 0:00:54.320 --> 0:00:56.040 and B. I feel like R and B is more 0:00:56.080 --> 0:00:59.520 out in Atlanta for me, and then also like it's 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:03.360 just love at like the buildings and the scenery is 0:01:03.400 --> 0:01:05.720 really really dope. Well, for those that may not know 0:01:05.920 --> 0:01:07.920 of you, I hate when people ask me this, But 0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:11.119 for those that is the first time that they're hearing you, Um, 0:01:11.160 --> 0:01:13.200 can you, you know, let them in a little bit 0:01:13.240 --> 0:01:17.880 on who Johnny is okay, So my name is Johnny. Um. 0:01:17.920 --> 0:01:20.959 I am German and Black descent. I was born on 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:23.240 Moody Air Force days, but also Georgia, so I'm a 0:01:23.280 --> 0:01:30.560 Georgia baby. Um. I play six instruments, I sing, I write, produce. UM. 0:01:30.680 --> 0:01:33.039 I've done love in hip hop, growing up in hip hop, 0:01:33.080 --> 0:01:36.200 and now I'm past the reality TV and I'm working 0:01:36.200 --> 0:01:39.560 on two movies and also a show UM that's on Stars. 0:01:39.800 --> 0:01:45.400 So I'm just uh, just re revance my whole look awesome. 0:01:45.560 --> 0:01:48.960 My bird wants to interview too. It's okay, no worries, 0:01:49.000 --> 0:01:51.480 no worries, you know what. This is part of our 0:01:51.560 --> 0:01:55.640 new lifestyle or new norms. You know, it's okay. We 0:01:55.640 --> 0:01:58.200 were actually even more personal into your life. So it's 0:01:58.200 --> 0:01:59.960 all good. Out of all the things that you do, 0:02:00.120 --> 0:02:01.800 which one do you feel that you enjoy the most. 0:02:02.520 --> 0:02:05.240 Music is more of my thing, Like it's just I 0:02:05.280 --> 0:02:07.400 don't know. I get up, I want to record, I 0:02:07.440 --> 0:02:09.440 want to perform, I want to do features, I want 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:12.359 to do It's just a love for a passion. I've 0:02:12.360 --> 0:02:16.240 been doing classical piano since I was like six, so 0:02:16.280 --> 0:02:18.840 it's like it's kind of a thing for me. It's 0:02:18.880 --> 0:02:21.839 not even a job. It's just a thing. It's my thing. 0:02:22.680 --> 0:02:25.399 So why Johnny Blaze? But now with this whole new 0:02:25.440 --> 0:02:29.000 revamp is just Johnny um, Johnny Blaze. I got tired 0:02:29.000 --> 0:02:31.960 of people that didn't know that I can really really sing. 0:02:32.320 --> 0:02:36.000 They were like, so wrap something for me and I'm like, huh, 0:02:37.080 --> 0:02:39.240 I'm like, okay, let me just well my label. Actually 0:02:39.760 --> 0:02:42.640 Green Team was like, you know, maybe you should delete 0:02:42.639 --> 0:02:44.960 the Blaze. So now they're working on like my social 0:02:44.960 --> 0:02:48.239 media handles, like changing them and it does sound much better. 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:50.359 It's like, you know, Johnny, like that's more r and 0:02:50.440 --> 0:02:52.200 b isshue for me. And then Blaze is like my 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:55.160 past I feel and I've grown so much. So it's 0:02:55.160 --> 0:02:58.760 just like multiple reasons. Why. So if you have to 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:04.520 describe herselfing three, what would you say? I would say misunderstood, 0:03:05.520 --> 0:03:13.000 but I don't give a damn um kind and determined. Um. 0:03:13.760 --> 0:03:15.800 I feel like a lot of people they tend to. 0:03:15.800 --> 0:03:18.959 Why I say determined is because people, Um, you'll have 0:03:19.000 --> 0:03:20.960 a talent or something that you're really great at, and 0:03:21.000 --> 0:03:22.520 people will tear you down to the point that you 0:03:22.520 --> 0:03:24.240 won't even believe in yourself. And it's like I have 0:03:24.320 --> 0:03:28.960 a determination to win for myself, but also just like 0:03:29.040 --> 0:03:32.760 it's that more of a like how I told you so, 0:03:32.919 --> 0:03:36.800 like I knew, no, it wasn't gonna be my last answer. Um, 0:03:37.200 --> 0:03:40.240 kind is just I'm just a sweet person. And I 0:03:40.240 --> 0:03:43.800 don't think nobody knows that. Like, I'm really non confrontational now, 0:03:44.000 --> 0:03:46.840 like I'm not. I will care in your ass. I 0:03:46.880 --> 0:03:48.800 will seriously call the police, and I don't feel bad 0:03:48.800 --> 0:03:51.040 about it. I will lower up. I'm gonna suiting you 0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:55.160 for defamation. Like I don't deal with drama or violence. 0:03:55.240 --> 0:03:58.600 You know. So I'm really kind, so um, some people 0:03:58.680 --> 0:04:02.760 tend to take that for a weakness. So that and then, um, 0:04:02.800 --> 0:04:07.400 the talented thing is just I'm just I'm gifted. Um, 0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:10.600 I'm misunderstanding gifted and just really really a sweet person. 0:04:11.240 --> 0:04:13.800 What about if you had to describe yourself as an artist? 0:04:14.800 --> 0:04:21.680 Oh that bitch. Okay, the ugly they call each chunky, 0:04:22.200 --> 0:04:24.320 they call me whatever. They But what you back gonna 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:26.120 take from me. And that's what people tend to want 0:04:26.120 --> 0:04:28.960 to take from you, your energy and your faith in yourself. 0:04:29.000 --> 0:04:30.840 It is telling you that you're not something. And you're 0:04:30.880 --> 0:04:33.040 just not going to tell me that I'm not gifted, 0:04:33.400 --> 0:04:40.760 that I'm not talented. So yeah, okay, well she's that bitch. Um. 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:43.720 But you know, even though that we say, you know 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:46.280 I'm that bitch deep down inside. Have you ever had 0:04:46.360 --> 0:04:50.480 those moments where some of those comments may have actually 0:04:50.520 --> 0:04:53.440 gotten to you because me, like, I'm a boss, bitch, 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:56.279 I'm I'm all these things. I'm in the spotlight, people 0:04:56.279 --> 0:04:58.280 always looking at me, and I get all those things right, 0:04:58.320 --> 0:05:00.760 that's great, But as on that they try to be 0:05:00.839 --> 0:05:04.280 there are moments where it could just be that day, 0:05:04.360 --> 0:05:07.599 like today, I woke up that I'm not with it 0:05:07.800 --> 0:05:11.760 and one person's comment, I will say, we'll kill my 0:05:11.800 --> 0:05:14.640 whole day, but it will it will make me feel 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:22.120 like I'm not necessarily that bit for like for like seconds. Yeah, 0:05:22.160 --> 0:05:26.320 So so are there those moments for you? Um, it's 0:05:26.320 --> 0:05:29.200 always those moments. It's it's more of it. It's not 0:05:29.279 --> 0:05:31.520 from strangers. Sometimes it's from people that you think that's 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:34.760 close to you. Um, it comes from them more than 0:05:35.080 --> 0:05:37.120 because I really don't care about the comments, like it's 0:05:37.160 --> 0:05:39.960 more of a family member or a friend affecting me 0:05:40.080 --> 0:05:42.440 with what they say. And then then no longer my friend, 0:05:42.440 --> 0:05:44.080 I'm not as close to the family member, So it 0:05:44.160 --> 0:05:48.160 does it does affect me, but I've become so spiritual 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:52.000 since like October fourteen of two thousand twenty one, where 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:54.200 I just like read the Bible every day like a scripture, 0:05:54.640 --> 0:05:57.440 and I'm more into myself to the point the confidence 0:05:57.520 --> 0:06:00.640 level has went up, and I just ignore, you know 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:02.919 what people say. But it does it does bother me. 0:06:03.040 --> 0:06:06.160 It does affect me. Um, I do cry because it 0:06:06.480 --> 0:06:08.880 hurts more when it's somebody that's your friend or family 0:06:09.360 --> 0:06:11.920 rather than a random person. And it's just like difficult. 0:06:11.920 --> 0:06:16.279 But I've I've grown to ignore it and just move 0:06:16.320 --> 0:06:18.920 forward and kind of distance myself from stuff like that. 0:06:19.240 --> 0:06:23.520 Like I'm very big on energy, but like meditation, like 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:26.760 I don't like to go outside and feel that my 0:06:27.040 --> 0:06:29.760 energy I need to put some bad energy into somebody. 0:06:29.800 --> 0:06:31.920 Like my hopes is to just give energy to somebody. 0:06:31.960 --> 0:06:35.000 Somebody might be on their last limb, and because I smile, 0:06:35.080 --> 0:06:38.400 they'll ask them how are they? How are they doing? Um, 0:06:38.400 --> 0:06:40.440 it affected them in a good way. So yes, it 0:06:40.480 --> 0:06:43.279 does affect me, but I tend to find other things. 0:06:43.400 --> 0:06:45.800 Me making other people happy actually gets me out of 0:06:45.839 --> 0:06:50.280 that space when people are negative in me. So now 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:54.120 this is completely random, but I had seen you on 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:56.960 social media. I hadn't really gotten to know you as 0:06:57.080 --> 0:06:59.880 a person per se. This is like the furthest we've 0:07:00.000 --> 0:07:04.440 actually going into talking. Do you feel and judgment free zone? 0:07:04.480 --> 0:07:07.320 But do you feel that people sometimes may misjudge you 0:07:07.440 --> 0:07:11.480 based off your looks, based off your social media? From 0:07:11.640 --> 0:07:14.800 the woman that I'm talking to right now this scene, 0:07:14.840 --> 0:07:17.280 you know, you sound very sweet, you sound very genuine, 0:07:17.320 --> 0:07:20.120 you sound very polite, very kind of all those things. 0:07:20.160 --> 0:07:23.520 But when I see you at first, right, the first 0:07:23.520 --> 0:07:27.360 thing I'm getting is based off your social media alone, right, 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:30.960 or just the wather you're naturally you know, set up physically. 0:07:31.360 --> 0:07:33.240 Do you feel that people judge you and there's like 0:07:33.280 --> 0:07:40.080 a misguidance there? Um? Okay, So with me, I feel 0:07:40.120 --> 0:07:41.840 like this guy puts you on earth even though you 0:07:41.880 --> 0:07:43.840 came out of your mom and your daddy. You feel me, 0:07:43.920 --> 0:07:46.640 I'm so country you want to put on this earth 0:07:46.640 --> 0:07:50.400 for everybody to like you or to understand you. Like 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:53.520 Nobody knows how this big change happened for me. Five 0:07:53.560 --> 0:07:56.480 months ago, I just really started just being focused on 0:07:56.520 --> 0:07:58.760 myself and showing people what I want to and I 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:02.280 feel that people um to get that social media. It's 0:08:02.320 --> 0:08:04.320 like whatever you post out there, whatever you put it's 0:08:04.360 --> 0:08:06.520 your fault you put it out there. So if you 0:08:06.560 --> 0:08:10.000 want the narrative to change, change it. So I started 0:08:10.040 --> 0:08:13.200 showing more of my personality and skits, start showing people 0:08:13.200 --> 0:08:15.120 like this goopy sac because this is me all day. 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:19.400 I'm very clumsy, and people are either gonna gravitate to 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:22.400 the person that you're becoming for the better you or 0:08:22.440 --> 0:08:25.560 they're not. And I do think that even though I'm 0:08:25.600 --> 0:08:27.440 a much happier person if you see it on my 0:08:27.480 --> 0:08:29.400 social media now, I think people look at my body 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:30.680 and just like, oh, she has to be a bit 0:08:31.120 --> 0:08:32.840 she has. Okay, and let me break it down for 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:36.160 those that obviously can't see you. Right, So she is 0:08:36.480 --> 0:08:40.480 very curvy. She is you know, she let me just 0:08:40.520 --> 0:08:43.160 bring it down. She got them fastest this, she got 0:08:43.160 --> 0:08:48.520 the booty, she got small waists, and well, shoot, I 0:08:50.200 --> 0:08:53.719 want TV. I was like, yo, where'd y'all find that 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:57.560 person from? Like okay, so but okay, but then you know, 0:08:57.559 --> 0:09:02.000 then I went through a whole body transformation and good, yes, yes, 0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:05.640 and and I love my body now. But but she's very, 0:09:05.760 --> 0:09:08.640 very curvy, and obviously on social media, she does, you know, 0:09:08.720 --> 0:09:11.640 accentuate the fact that you know, she embraces her body 0:09:11.960 --> 0:09:13.800 and she wears, you know, a lot of sexy stuff 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:17.000 or whatever, and automatically, just based off seeing it, I wouldn't. 0:09:17.000 --> 0:09:21.040 I would sometimes we can be very judgmental as a society, 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:23.560 and you know, I would think something else. But then 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:25.959 now talking to you, I'm like, oh my gosh, she's 0:09:26.000 --> 0:09:28.360 so sweet, she's so nice. I would never match. Let 0:09:28.360 --> 0:09:30.840 me tell yourself, I'm like the most. If you see 0:09:30.880 --> 0:09:32.640 me in person, you're going to crack a left. And 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:34.880 first of all, people think I'm six feet. I am 0:09:35.000 --> 0:09:38.960 five one. Okay, Okay, I'm lying. I just put the 0:09:39.000 --> 0:09:40.920 one so I don't. I don't feel so bad. I'm 0:09:40.920 --> 0:09:45.199 five feet, but the point is five feet. I look, 0:09:45.679 --> 0:09:47.400 look this interview. I'm gonna keep you so real. Look 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:50.920 the other side of me. I don't nightclothes. Okay, y'all 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:53.240 just seeing this, I'm being a professional, but really I'm 0:09:53.320 --> 0:09:57.240 like this okay, And I'm just I've got to a point. 0:09:57.320 --> 0:09:59.679 You know, my grandmother had passed away. I've been through 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:04.040 human trafficking. People don't know why I had that guard 0:10:04.120 --> 0:10:06.680 up of being the mean girl and wanting to fight 0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:10.000 because I was protecting how I am now. So I 0:10:10.000 --> 0:10:12.680 had to get my mental in my space, in a 0:10:12.800 --> 0:10:15.400 right space for not just me, but for my music, 0:10:15.480 --> 0:10:18.680 my career. And now people when they see me, they're like, Okay, 0:10:18.679 --> 0:10:21.079 I see it, but it's it's it's going faster than 0:10:21.120 --> 0:10:22.880 what I thought. Because now when people see they're like, yo, 0:10:22.960 --> 0:10:25.760 she's super cool, and I do get it does hurt 0:10:25.760 --> 0:10:27.480 my feelings a little bit that people think I'm just 0:10:27.559 --> 0:10:32.079 like this baby grinch and I'm like, I'm friendly. Hugged me. 0:10:33.559 --> 0:10:44.960 I must see you just heard something that was very sensitive. 0:10:45.000 --> 0:10:46.640 I don't know you if you would be willing to 0:10:46.640 --> 0:10:49.640 talk a little bit more into that and how, um, 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:53.880 how that affected your you know what, what exactly happened 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:57.040 when you said human traffic? Yeah, I I from my 0:10:57.080 --> 0:11:01.880 mother sent me away when I was fourteen, um um, 0:11:01.960 --> 0:11:04.240 and I ended up in New York, and I took 0:11:04.240 --> 0:11:07.600 an ad on a computer, um, and I thought it 0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:10.560 was for kids, you know, I was fourteen, about to 0:11:10.559 --> 0:11:13.240 be fifteen. I took at that thought it was for photos, 0:11:13.800 --> 0:11:15.760 you know. And I went to this house and I'm 0:11:15.800 --> 0:11:19.040 Philly and it wasn't that. Um. I didn't have barely 0:11:19.040 --> 0:11:21.240 no money to even go back. So it was basically 0:11:21.280 --> 0:11:26.480 like a house for underage um kids to prostitute and 0:11:26.480 --> 0:11:28.880 and and sell yourself and you really can't leave. So 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:32.320 the girl that was with me felt extra extra um 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:36.680 bad for me. I gave me a drink um. It 0:11:36.720 --> 0:11:39.360 definitely wasn't a normal liquor because I became like very 0:11:39.440 --> 0:11:42.360 just energetic, very hyper. I couldn't even tell you what 0:11:42.440 --> 0:11:46.480 was in the cup. And I just stayed and it 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:48.880 just I kind of I was into it, like I 0:11:48.920 --> 0:11:51.600 got into it because the guy that was over that home, 0:11:52.040 --> 0:11:53.760 he was like, you know, y'a, I gotta make some money. 0:11:53.800 --> 0:11:57.120 Like it's kind of like um Players Club but for kids, 0:11:57.200 --> 0:11:59.880 which is so sickening to say, but it's like you 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:02.360 got to make the money. And I just kind of 0:12:02.400 --> 0:12:05.400 fell into the drugs and the drinking at a young 0:12:05.480 --> 0:12:08.160 age because I was rebellious. My mother sent me away 0:12:08.160 --> 0:12:10.600 because I was molested when I was fourteen by my stepfather. 0:12:11.320 --> 0:12:15.679 So I was already having a disconnect of if if 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:18.480 that can happen, then it's like nobody really like cares, 0:12:18.559 --> 0:12:21.520 nobody um loves me or supports me. I was just 0:12:21.559 --> 0:12:23.680 like becoming a rebel because I was so angry, like 0:12:23.679 --> 0:12:25.680 why is this happening to me, So I wanted to 0:12:25.679 --> 0:12:27.440 make some money. I'm like, okay, I'm young. I could 0:12:27.440 --> 0:12:30.160 get some pictures, but it was not that. I went 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:34.840 from about fifteen to seventeen in that for years, and 0:12:34.840 --> 0:12:38.400 then I was actually lacking in school and UM had 0:12:38.440 --> 0:12:40.240 to go to summer school to graduate because my dad 0:12:40.240 --> 0:12:43.040 wasn't having it. He wasn't like trying to figure me 0:12:43.040 --> 0:12:45.800 out because I wouldn't let him in. Um, and it 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:49.520 just I got out only because I was always the 0:12:49.559 --> 0:12:54.120 singing girl. I was always the girl that sung, and UM, 0:12:54.320 --> 0:12:56.040 he was like, you don't even belong here, like at 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:57.559 least go to the strip club. And that's kind of 0:12:57.600 --> 0:13:00.000 how I got introduced to the strip club. Somebody actually 0:13:00.040 --> 0:13:03.080 we brought me there and they were more popular in Philly. 0:13:03.160 --> 0:13:05.120 To let the person that have me at the house, 0:13:05.200 --> 0:13:07.520 let them know, like don't don't bother her no more 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:10.160 like she's here now. So I ended up and I 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:14.800 ended up stripping at the age of eighteen. So, um, 0:13:14.880 --> 0:13:17.520 it was it was a lot for me because I 0:13:17.559 --> 0:13:20.080 don't think people know and people are like, you're easy 0:13:20.160 --> 0:13:22.400 to talk about the story, like it's just so normal, 0:13:22.440 --> 0:13:24.840 and it's not that it's normal. It's just I don't 0:13:24.840 --> 0:13:27.000 want to be a sad story. I want to tell 0:13:27.040 --> 0:13:30.440 people my life and hopefully it changes or helps them 0:13:30.520 --> 0:13:33.880 somewhere somewhere or somehow, you know. And I never want 0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:36.040 to be looked at as something that's like, oh poor baby, 0:13:36.120 --> 0:13:38.400 Like no, like look at me now on bossed up. 0:13:38.679 --> 0:13:41.120 I didn't let it affect me, And yeah it was 0:13:41.840 --> 0:13:44.840 I've been through some stuff and to see how I 0:13:44.840 --> 0:13:47.520 am now, and then how people first time even talking 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:49.160 to me and I get this a lot, They're like, 0:13:49.160 --> 0:13:53.720 you're very happy. And that's why I think that sometimes 0:13:53.760 --> 0:13:55.959 people can be very judgmental. That's why I was getting 0:13:55.960 --> 0:13:58.560 into that space of like, um, we can judge someone 0:13:58.600 --> 0:14:01.080 without really getting to know the story. Or I had 0:14:01.120 --> 0:14:03.760 no idea that you had gone through those things. Um, 0:14:03.800 --> 0:14:05.560 I didn't know that you know that you got you 0:14:05.600 --> 0:14:10.920 were an exotic right exotic dancer at one point. Um. 0:14:10.960 --> 0:14:13.200 But at the same time, we don't really know. And 0:14:13.240 --> 0:14:15.360 a lot of people we go to these clubs, we 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:19.640 go to these environments just judging like, oh, she wants this, 0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:22.080 this is the life that she chose, the da da 0:14:22.240 --> 0:14:25.520 da or whatever, without truly knowing what may have cost, 0:14:25.720 --> 0:14:29.480 what's the background. What's the true story behind every single 0:14:29.520 --> 0:14:31.760 girl that's up there dancing? For those people that are 0:14:31.840 --> 0:14:36.160 judgmental towards them, you know you were there, Um, what 0:14:36.240 --> 0:14:38.680 would you say to those people that go to these 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:44.560 places judge these girls without really knowing the backstory. I 0:14:44.560 --> 0:14:47.240 actually feel bad for them, not for us that the 0:14:47.280 --> 0:14:48.920 women that have went through it or girls that have 0:14:49.040 --> 0:14:51.320 went through it. I feel bad for them because I 0:14:51.400 --> 0:14:55.880 know for a fact, everybody on earth, because sin is real. Um, 0:14:55.920 --> 0:14:59.240 everybody has done something or secretly done something, and they'll 0:14:59.280 --> 0:15:01.560 take to their great that they've not they're not proud 0:15:01.600 --> 0:15:04.880 of or either did a mistake or something. So it's like, 0:15:05.040 --> 0:15:08.600 you judge this person or me, but what have you done? 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:10.560 I would never judge you, like I don't think. I 0:15:10.960 --> 0:15:13.640 don't think I ever really judged somebody because it's like 0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:16.960 I don't have a really position to do that. Um. 0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:20.080 I think it's pretty sad because you can meet some 0:15:20.160 --> 0:15:23.480 pretty great people, even if they used to be exotic dancers, 0:15:24.000 --> 0:15:27.120 if they, you know, UM, went through something that people 0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:31.640 might not look look down on supposedly. Um, some of 0:15:31.640 --> 0:15:34.440 these people are amazing people. You know what I'm saying. 0:15:34.440 --> 0:15:36.480 I have a friend that's been through way worse than me, 0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:40.440 got our own businesses car wash and nurse and got kids, 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:43.400 a husband, And I'm just like, people don't believe in 0:15:43.480 --> 0:15:48.640 people changing. People don't believe in uh people growing and 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:52.680 uh being successful throughout whatever they've been through. And I 0:15:52.720 --> 0:15:55.520 think that's more of a jealousy thing people have towards 0:15:55.560 --> 0:15:58.080 people that do come from that, and they do succeed, 0:15:58.360 --> 0:16:02.720 so majority succeeds, but some are not successful and they 0:16:02.800 --> 0:16:05.000 end up still dancing and stuff, and so those are 0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:07.920 looked bad upon and it's like it makes everything look 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:09.600 bad and I'm like, no, they're the same as the 0:16:09.600 --> 0:16:11.760 person that came from that that's successful, it just might 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:13.760 take them a little bit more time. So I think 0:16:13.760 --> 0:16:15.720 it's a judging thing and people not understand. I think 0:16:15.760 --> 0:16:19.600 it's kind of sad because it's like, why would you judge? 0:16:19.640 --> 0:16:23.440 You're not God. So it's like, and then how was 0:16:23.480 --> 0:16:26.000 that transition for you, Like, after all those things that 0:16:26.040 --> 0:16:28.520 you had been through and then from there go to 0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:31.800 being on one of the most watched reality shows like 0:16:31.880 --> 0:16:34.200 Love and Hip Hop. I ended up being on TV 0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:37.920 because of that. I was the girl that I'm not 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:40.600 trying to date nobody just because they're popular. I'm not 0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:42.840 trying to click it with girls just because and then 0:16:42.880 --> 0:16:45.880 the next week we're fighting about we wore the same 0:16:45.960 --> 0:16:48.280 hair or the same outfit. Like I was never that girl. 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:50.880 I was just me and me being me. I was 0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:54.160 like the hood, I guess celebrity, like I'm in Walmart, 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:57.560 I'm getting tampons, which you're getting something too, Okay, you're 0:16:57.560 --> 0:17:00.760 in the week aligned me too? Like I was. I 0:17:00.800 --> 0:17:02.720 made people feel comfortable and it got to the point 0:17:02.720 --> 0:17:05.120 where love and hip hop was like who is that? 0:17:05.160 --> 0:17:07.760 Because around that time when I was dancing, it was 0:17:07.840 --> 0:17:10.840 like popular for the strippers of the exotic dancers to 0:17:10.880 --> 0:17:14.840 be dating somebody or they're just popping. So I was 0:17:14.880 --> 0:17:17.280 one of the popping girls coming from Houston as a dancer, 0:17:17.320 --> 0:17:19.399 and they were like okay, well, and I used to 0:17:19.480 --> 0:17:21.360 live in New York and they're like the springer on there. 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:24.520 So it was really just a shocker. I didn't know 0:17:24.520 --> 0:17:27.520 how what I was doing. I didn't know I didn't 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:30.159 read scripts. I didn't listen to scripts if it was 0:17:30.200 --> 0:17:37.679 given to me. I was just TV material basically for them. 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:43.159 Did you feel like there was one because there's a 0:17:43.160 --> 0:17:47.159 difference in between once you were, um, being out of 0:17:47.200 --> 0:17:52.760 the TV world, Um, then being in the exotic entertainment world, 0:17:53.160 --> 0:17:56.600 and then from there you are in reality TV. Do 0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:59.080 you feel that there was any state that you feel 0:17:59.119 --> 0:18:05.000 like you meant really weren't you know? Uh, healed, prepared, 0:18:05.240 --> 0:18:07.399 bounds out to be able to deal with all the 0:18:07.480 --> 0:18:10.760 drama the TV brings because people people don't really understand 0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:13.359 that part as well. All the drama that happens on 0:18:13.400 --> 0:18:16.720 these reality shows are very much so real for most 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:19.480 of us. Some people I've heard that you know, they 0:18:19.520 --> 0:18:22.040 come up, they you know, they finessed the fund. But 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:26.040 for those like myself that the drama has been very real. Um, 0:18:26.080 --> 0:18:28.320 did it ever really affect your mental your mental health, 0:18:28.359 --> 0:18:32.040 your mental state. I came in there mentally just kind 0:18:32.040 --> 0:18:35.160 of out of the earth, So it wasn't like it 0:18:35.240 --> 0:18:37.600 was just like, um, you know, it was so much 0:18:37.640 --> 0:18:40.280 like it. I didn't know people was doing stuff behind 0:18:40.320 --> 0:18:42.560 my back. First of all, I never got paid, and 0:18:42.720 --> 0:18:44.199 that would be the last time somebody and never not 0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:45.920 paid me and I give them them type of ratings 0:18:45.960 --> 0:18:47.760 that I gave them and wasn't a cast member, never 0:18:47.800 --> 0:18:53.960 got paid. Uh uh that's crazy. Um. And then it 0:18:54.040 --> 0:18:57.280 was just the drinking, the not my boyfriend hold on, 0:18:57.359 --> 0:18:58.840 even though you didn't get paid, Do you think this 0:18:58.920 --> 0:19:01.399 was a good opportunity, a good platform to be seen. 0:19:01.880 --> 0:19:07.200 Did your life change somewhat after that? No? No, I'm 0:19:07.240 --> 0:19:09.400 not trying to send cocky nothing. But I've always been 0:19:09.440 --> 0:19:12.280 that girl like I've always been. When I say that girl, 0:19:12.359 --> 0:19:14.200 that's like for anybody to feel like that, I've always 0:19:14.200 --> 0:19:18.359 been that girl. I've always I was already popular, like extremely, 0:19:18.520 --> 0:19:21.119 like I was just the the Houston was the place 0:19:21.160 --> 0:19:24.080 where all the popping dancers were, and it was that 0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:26.560 error where I was in just so happened to be in. 0:19:26.800 --> 0:19:28.439 So I was already No, I didn't care if I 0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:31.760 was on TV or off TV. I was drinking, doing 0:19:31.800 --> 0:19:33.679 all types of stuff where I just didn't care. It 0:19:33.800 --> 0:19:35.080 was what it was. They was like, you want to 0:19:35.080 --> 0:19:37.760 do it short? Where's my checks that still waiting for? 0:19:37.840 --> 0:19:39.920 That never got checked. So it was just like this 0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:42.800 is just like stripping, you going to club, all eyes 0:19:42.840 --> 0:19:45.520 on you. It's like a TV and from different countries 0:19:45.560 --> 0:19:48.440 and different cities people coming, they're watching everything that you do. 0:19:48.880 --> 0:19:51.280 So I didn't think I benefited from it because people 0:19:51.320 --> 0:19:53.159 would always say like I don't think love and hip 0:19:53.200 --> 0:19:55.520 Hop helped you. The only thing it probably helped is 0:19:55.560 --> 0:19:57.520 what a couple more million people that was already gonna 0:19:57.520 --> 0:20:00.240 eventually see me because I'm talented and have been. If 0:20:00.240 --> 0:20:02.040 you don't get your stuff right, you failed yourself. So 0:20:02.040 --> 0:20:03.600 I knew I was gonna get my stuff right. I 0:20:03.640 --> 0:20:06.639 just didn't know when you know so. And I'm not 0:20:06.680 --> 0:20:08.840 trying to discredit love and hip hop. It's just I 0:20:09.720 --> 0:20:11.800 you couldn't give me twenty million dollars to go back 0:20:12.200 --> 0:20:15.440 because it's like, so you wouldn't consider loving hip hop 0:20:15.440 --> 0:20:17.520 to have been a good experience for you. Maybe, girl, 0:20:18.000 --> 0:20:20.120 I think I think you the first person I told baby, 0:20:20.160 --> 0:20:22.240 I'm on P Valley. I got two movies under my 0:20:22.280 --> 0:20:25.360 belt P Valley, and I'm getting my own show. So 0:20:25.440 --> 0:20:28.440 it's like on God's time. You know what I'm saying, 0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:32.119 on God's time is when it's not on loving hip 0:20:32.200 --> 0:20:34.080 hop time. So no, they could not pay me, and 0:20:34.119 --> 0:20:36.440 it's no disrespect. I love them that I think they're cool. 0:20:36.600 --> 0:20:40.280 They're cool for somebody else, not for me, because I'm 0:20:40.280 --> 0:20:42.720 not about You're not about to play. When you let 0:20:42.760 --> 0:20:46.639 people control or feel they can control you and control 0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:49.840 your narrative of your life. That's when it fails. And 0:20:49.880 --> 0:20:52.439 I felt like I let them control. You know, you 0:20:52.520 --> 0:20:55.520