Speaker 1: Aye, ye, hey, sweeten, what's up?
Speaker 2: Hi? Okay, let me tell you last night the thunder
Speaker 2: and lightning. I'm pretty sure it struck our house somewhere,
Speaker 2: Like it was so immediate, like it was flash bank. Yeah,
Speaker 2: like right on top of us. It was crazy and
Speaker 2: it lasted for like forty five minutes.
Speaker 1: It was crazy. Yeah. Yeah, I'll wake you up out
Speaker 1: of a dead slumber and you're just like, yees, what
Speaker 1: emergency is happening?
Speaker 2: Now? I know, I know it's been so great. Like
Speaker 2: I'm looking outside and it's rainy and wet a hole
Speaker 2: and it feels like fall, and next week we'll be
Speaker 2: back to seventy five. Look, I've gotten my slip on shoes.
Speaker 2: Now I'm eating cashan pie. Just let me take out
Speaker 2: my dentures and call.
Speaker 1: It your mouth tape. You're doing mouth tap.
Speaker 2: The mouth type works so good. The mouth type works.
Speaker 2: Like now, if I start to go to sleep and
Speaker 2: I don't have it, I'm like, oh wait, serious, I
Speaker 2: have not.
Speaker 1: I saw the other day.
Speaker 2: Here we go everyone from poison berries to nasal cavities.
Speaker 2: Uh no, your your your nose is designed to filter
Speaker 2: things properly. Your mouth away. So when you breathe through
Speaker 2: your nose in the in the way that nature intended.
Speaker 2: It's better for your sinuses. And you're in all of that. Okay,
Speaker 2: you don't sleep happening. I feel so well rested.
Speaker 1: Real I'm gonna try, Michael do it.
Speaker 2: I was like, this is tape your mouth shut. That's right.
Speaker 2: This just feels like some thiss, like some patriarchal nonst
Speaker 2: you know. Shut no, no, I will attest, and I
Speaker 2: am not a person who easily closes my mouth weight.
Speaker 2: I taped life.
Speaker 1: Changing wow, wow, and you got it.
Speaker 2: The key. The key is to get the I got
Speaker 2: mine the Skinny Confidential podcast. She gave me mine. And
Speaker 2: it's got like a little kind of slit in the
Speaker 2: middle where your lips are so you can like breathe
Speaker 2: in through your mouth. If it's not like a panicky
Speaker 2: feeling where you're like, oh, like there's you can intake air.
Speaker 2: But it just keeps your mouth closed enough that it's
Speaker 2: more comfortable to breathe through.
Speaker 1: So you're not you're not sleeping like a wide mouth
Speaker 1: bass with ah.
Speaker 2: That's exactly why, Oh my god, I yeah, because that
Speaker 2: would be like I can like unhinge my jaw. You
Speaker 2: know what I mean, it's really ridiculous, okay, kid. And
Speaker 2: I only know this because Miscal takes pictures of me
Speaker 2: when I sleep in public places especially, and then sends
Speaker 2: them to me at later dates. What happens? I know
Speaker 2: I sleep at a really unattractive one.
Speaker 1: What about if you have a nightmare and you need
Speaker 1: to scream, because that's sometimes I'll scream when I have nightmares,
Speaker 1: so can you.
Speaker 2: I don't scream when I have nightmares, and I tend
Speaker 2: I unfortunately have not as much anymore, but uh, I
Speaker 2: had pretty much every night I would have really awful nightmares.
Speaker 2: Uh And and I just like run and like move
Speaker 2: in my I'm like always raining. I don't yell.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you're a runner. I've I've done the running,
Speaker 1: I've done the screaming. I don't sleep walk. But I'm
Speaker 1: wondering if mouth tape will solve all of this, Like
Speaker 1: maybe it's.
Speaker 2: Look, I don't know, but it can't hurt.
Speaker 1: It can't hurt. Okay, I'll try it. Michael's been having
Speaker 1: trouble waking up with sinus issues, so maybe I.
Speaker 2: Should I tell you I I have yeah, mouth tape,
Speaker 2: just saying everybody mouth tape you give me cocoa floss,
Speaker 2: I'll give you a mouth tape and uh we will
Speaker 2: enter it slip. I'm pretty sure that's what the three
Speaker 2: wise men brought. At least two of the three was
Speaker 2: cocoa flows and mouthape. And they were like, you're gonna
Speaker 2: need this.
Speaker 1: Slip on shoes.
Speaker 2: Slip on shoes. Now that's what three wise women would.
Speaker 1: Yes, let the story.
Speaker 2: You need to bend over to put on your shoes.
Speaker 2: You're gonna sleep better with his mouth.
Speaker 1: Tape, and your dental hygiene will be to d hygiene.
Speaker 2: It's gonna be excellent.
Speaker 1: This is the gift that you don't keep.
Speaker 2: Your mouth shut if you have lost your teeth.
Speaker 1: I mean that there's an order to things, like you
Speaker 1: put on your shoes, you take off your shoes, you
Speaker 1: floss your teeth, then you put on your mouth tape.
Speaker 2: Right, and because your shoes slip on, you can even
Speaker 2: be flossing your teeth while kicking off your ship.
Speaker 1: You can multitask. Oh. Yes, is like where we writing
Speaker 1: the story.
Speaker 2: Everybody, Merry, Merry Christmas, Happy holidays. Go watch us, uh,
Speaker 2: and then we'll gift each other Google.
Speaker 1: This is how we do the holidays here at Dannertos.
Speaker 2: I wish it were that simple, you know, great check
Speaker 2: that off better.
Speaker 1: Than a candle, like, you know, if you have, like,
Speaker 1: if you need to like or something. I like a
Speaker 1: good candle too. But if who were we talking with?
Speaker 1: Oh it was the Keenan and Lake and Girl the
Speaker 1: when we were doing Keenan and Lake Friends Friends Giving,
Speaker 1: we're talking about was it with you? Maybe I was
Speaker 1: talking with somebody else about generic gifts. I'm having an
Speaker 1: elderly moment, right, I.
Speaker 2: Don't know, I don't know. It could have been me
Speaker 2: and we could have talked about at the beginning of
Speaker 2: this podcast twelve minutes ago and I wouldn't remember.
Speaker 1: So well, let's just get to the show. I mean,
Speaker 1: we're really, we're really, you know.
Speaker 2: Let's do that before people go I think they finally
Speaker 2: We're still go listen to uh the Keenan and Lincoln
Speaker 2: Friends Giving podcasts too, because it's it's very fun and
Speaker 2: it's uh delightfully off the rails and unhandled.
Speaker 1: Yes, I can't remember what we talked about, but I
Speaker 1: know it's unhinged.
Speaker 2: And a lot of yeah great, it was so great. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I know there were a lot of hot takes on
Speaker 2: Stacy's part. I know a lot.
Speaker 1: I learned a lot a lot about you guys. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna say, I mean you I kind of knew,
Speaker 1: but the other two. Yeah, I was like, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: welcome back to how rude tan Ritos. I'm Andrea Barber
Speaker 1: and I'm.
Speaker 2: Jody's And I don't know why I said, well, I.
Speaker 1: Think I'm like, let's mix it up a little. But then,
Speaker 1: how how many ways can you introduce yourself?
Speaker 2: I don't know, just I mean, you could do it
Speaker 2: in every in a new language every week.
Speaker 1: No, well no, that's too stressful, but I'm thinking it.
Speaker 1: Here's the problem is that when we say our names,
Speaker 1: we want to put like a curse word in the middle,
Speaker 1: like Jody.
Speaker 2: Well, yeah yeah, Jody f and Sweeten.
Speaker 1: Yes, that sounds better than Jody Sweeten. I'm sorry it does.
Speaker 2: That's you know. What I'll say is Janda Sweeten once
Speaker 2: gave me a pep talk and told me that no,
Speaker 2: she said, you don't.
Speaker 1: She used the word it was she yes, it was
Speaker 1: a really.
Speaker 2: Rough time and she was I was going through a lot,
Speaker 2: and she was like, don't you ever forget you are?
Speaker 1: And I was like.
Speaker 2: So yeah, So it is. It is officially my middle
Speaker 2: I love it.
Speaker 1: Okay, well here we are, welcome back today.
Speaker 2: Welcome back God. We can't even get our names. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: Today we're discussing season five, episode twenty three, Five's a Crowd.
Speaker 1: It originally aired March thirty first, nineteen ninety two, and
Speaker 1: it goes a little something like this. Jesse, Joey and
Speaker 1: Danny trade an awards dinner for a drive in movie
Speaker 1: when they learn that DJ is there with a teenage Casanova.
Speaker 1: It was directed by Joels Wick. It was written by
Speaker 1: Ellen Guiless. And we have one guest star this week.
Speaker 1: Roger Floyd guest stars as Pete. He's like uncle Jesse
Speaker 1: in like young form. You know, he's right Uncle Jesse.
Speaker 2: It doesn't look like a high schooler, but like this
Speaker 2: man is at least twenty.
Speaker 1: Years He's you should be on Melrose Place, not on.
Speaker 2: I was like, this is looking more like Beverly Hill's
Speaker 2: not a one.
Speaker 1: Oh. He also guest starred in a Pacific Blue, Graceland,
Speaker 1: Nashville mcguiver, and The Resident. So he's had a very.
Speaker 2: Long career, very big in the Tennessee area, yeah, very
Speaker 2: big and Nashville, Yes, He's covered all of those regions.
Speaker 1: It's lovely. So we start with the teaser. In the
Speaker 1: living room, Jesse and Michelle are watering the house plants.
Speaker 1: He tells Michelle the proper way to care for them
Speaker 1: is by giving them two squirts each. Michelle tries to
Speaker 1: follow his instructions, but she turns the squirt bottle toward
Speaker 1: Jesse and raise his hair instead, saying, ooops, I missed
Speaker 1: the plant. He wags his finger at her. You specifically
Speaker 1: aimed at my quaff, young lady. So this is how
Speaker 1: I learned, Like I learned all of the hair terms
Speaker 1: from uncle Jesse cough. Yeah, that was the first.
Speaker 2: Time I learned what that was because because of my
Speaker 2: grandma and my aunts, they had their little little old hair. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's a cool word.
Speaker 2: Hair was done. Yeah, it's great.
Speaker 1: See this is an educational show.
Speaker 2: We learned from full house learning so much.
Speaker 1: Now, there's only one way to handle this squirt bottle
Speaker 1: at three paces, So he turns away from her so
Speaker 1: they're back to back and explains that this is how
Speaker 1: they did it in the Old West. He instructs, now,
Speaker 1: we take three paces, turn around, and fire.
Speaker 2: Got it.
Speaker 1: Jesse waddles three paces away from Michelle, but she's just
Speaker 1: following right behind him, which I don't blame her. Like
Speaker 1: I was struggling to understand what he was trying to do,
Speaker 1: and I'm forty nine. I can only imagine a five
Speaker 1: year old being like, what are you? What you want?
Speaker 2: You don't know the rules of a duel? Can? Has
Speaker 2: she never seen Hamilton? I have yet, But I was
Speaker 2: just like, why is he.
Speaker 1: Doing this with a five year olds? A score? I
Speaker 1: don't know? It wasn't didn't totally work for you, But
Speaker 1: that's okay. It's a teaser. It's not supposed to not
Speaker 1: necessarily supposed to work. Uh So he counts down one, two,
Speaker 1: and then Michelle shouts three and sprays him relentlessly.
Speaker 2: He turns around, an ounce of honor, not an ounce
Speaker 2: of honor, and that.
Speaker 1: Duel no honor. He says, that's not how they did
Speaker 1: it in the Old West, and Michelle shrugs, I never
Speaker 1: heard of the Old West and they continue with their
Speaker 1: spray bottle fight.
Speaker 2: You live in San Francisco, kid, you are in the
Speaker 2: Old West.
Speaker 1: Right time for a history lesson?
Speaker 2: Right? Yeah?
Speaker 1: So next in the kitchen, Becky is making baby bottles.
Speaker 1: While Danny is practicing his speech for a big awards
Speaker 1: show that Wake Up San Francisco is nominated for. He recites,
Speaker 1: what a surprise, Thank you, Bay Area broadcasters. I never
Speaker 1: dreamed I'd be honored with this prestigious ward for best
Speaker 1: talk show Host. But he realizes that sounds too rehearsed,
Speaker 1: and so he tries to come up with an alternative.
Speaker 1: Becky reminds him we're never going to win. Every year,
Speaker 1: Wake Up San Francisco gets beaten by Up In Adam Oakland.
Speaker 1: Danny doesn't understand what people see in that show, so
Speaker 1: Becky jogs his memory cheer leaders wrestling in a syrup pit.
Speaker 2: Wow, Oakland, it's crazy, crazy, right, I don't know what
Speaker 2: they're doing over there.
Speaker 1: Then Joey makes his way downstairs with mister Woodchuck in
Speaker 1: his hand, of course on.
Speaker 2: His hand, not in his his hand.
Speaker 1: Well might as well be in his hand at this point,
Speaker 1: like mister Woodchuck is his hand is his hand. I'm
Speaker 1: starting to think that that Dave is hiding a wrist injury.
Speaker 1: Like every single scene the last few episodes he's carrying
Speaker 1: the Woodchuck, Like, what is he hiding?
Speaker 2: Do we know that he has a writ hand.
Speaker 1: I don't know. It might just be a wood Chuck.
Speaker 1: So he says, how do you hoe my fellow nominees?
Speaker 2: And I'm sorry when he said that, I was like,
Speaker 2: of course you're nominated.
Speaker 1: To course, he is right?
Speaker 2: Does all the get a show an award?
Speaker 1: It was nineties? Everybody got a show? Literally?
Speaker 2: Are they are the people that invented the participation troops everyone?
Speaker 2: If you're in it, you win.
Speaker 1: Your name's Tanner, you get everything you win.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's Jesse doing the music for this award show.
Speaker 1: Yo, that's that they should have added that exactly. So
Speaker 1: Becky asks them, you guys ready for the Awards show tonight,
Speaker 1: and Joey admits, I'm so nervous. I've never been nominated
Speaker 1: for anything in my life. Neither has mister Woodchuck. Mister
Speaker 1: Woodchuck chimes in, I hope we win. Knock on Wood
Speaker 1: and he knocks himself on Joey's head. Then DJ comes
Speaker 1: home from school with Kimmy. Danny immediately asks where she's been.
Speaker 1: Apparently she's forty five minutes late and didn't call, So
Speaker 1: kim He sarcastically responds, why don't you just strap a
Speaker 1: beeper collar on her and tracker like a wild to beast.
Speaker 2: Huh, only she knew what life three sixty was, where
Speaker 2: you will literally or apple tags, where you will literally
Speaker 2: strap a tag on your child and track them.
Speaker 1: Like a wild beast. Yeah, oh it's It's one of
Speaker 1: the greatest modern inventions.
Speaker 2: You're like, wow, well we just let him go.
Speaker 1: Wait, this was an insult back in nineteen ninety two.
Speaker 1: Danny frowns at R why don't you just go live
Speaker 1: with a will to beast? Which I thought was a
Speaker 1: week comeback.
Speaker 2: But she's already got one next to the oustria, right.
Speaker 1: And we've entered my perm era. My perm has arrived.
Speaker 1: I love it. I still have the little owl pellet
Speaker 1: tuft of bang, but that's fine, okay. And then this
Speaker 1: denim and floral outfit, which I actually really liked because
Speaker 1: it matched my parents couch.
Speaker 2: The floral I don't I'm amazed that that made you
Speaker 2: like it.
Speaker 1: Oh well, you know.
Speaker 2: I would think I'd be like, wow, I feel like
Speaker 2: my parents got My room was very floral, though I
Speaker 2: was very much into like the Laurel Laura Ashley floral
Speaker 2: you know things.
Speaker 1: So yeah, so what I liked it was for Kimmy Gilllo,
Speaker 1: that was pretty tame.
Speaker 2: Actually, for Kimmy, you look really like subdued.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'll take I'll take breadcrumbs. At this point, like,
Speaker 1: what about anything but these prior outfits. So DJ apologizes
Speaker 1: to Danny and then asks him not to do anything
Speaker 1: embarrassing because the hottest band in school is coming over
Speaker 1: to use Uncle Jesse's studio. Danny wonders, when did I
Speaker 1: ever do anything to embarrass you? And he pauses when
Speaker 1: he notices DJ and Kimmy glaring at him, and then
Speaker 1: he adds today and Kimmy yells out for the band
Speaker 1: to come in.
Speaker 2: Were they just waiting out there?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess waiting for permission. I don't I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe they drove up on motorcycles and we didn't hear them.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 2: Well, they parked all the way in the back.
Speaker 1: It took him a long time to walk from the
Speaker 1: back to the kitchen door. So the four guys walk
Speaker 1: in all dressed in leather jackets, denim, and sunglasses. DJ
Speaker 1: introduces them to everyone. This is Pete, Tim Tony and Sledge.
Speaker 1: The Funky Tongues Tanny laughs at their band name.
Speaker 2: Boy.
Speaker 1: I could have used you guys when I was licking
Speaker 1: stamps for my Christmas cards. Nobody laughs, and DJ rolls
Speaker 1: her eyes. Well that took care of today. Then she
Speaker 1: turns to the guys and points down to the studio.
Speaker 1: As Pete makes his way downstairs, he looks at DJ
Speaker 1: and compliments her, Hey, DJ, you're looking real good today.
Speaker 1: Danny immediately walks over to Becky and Joey to ask
Speaker 1: in front of her dad, this good issues with Pete,
Speaker 1: like I have not liked I did not like Pete
Speaker 1: for he walked in the door. Did not like Pete.
Speaker 2: Walked in the door. Now.
Speaker 1: Uh, Danny asks Becky what did that guy mean by
Speaker 1: saying DJ, You're looking real good today. Becky flatly responds,
Speaker 1: I think he meant she's looking real good today. Danny
Speaker 1: can't believe Pete didn't give him a compliment to considering
Speaker 1: he also looks good today. See, Danny, I'll just turn
Speaker 1: it around. Make it about yourself, right, And what about me?
Speaker 1: What about me? Very?
Speaker 2: I mean, yes, I was gonna say me so.
Speaker 1: Joey does the honors and says, Danny, you're looking real
Speaker 1: good today. Okay, so we've met Pete. We don't like Pete.
Speaker 1: And then we're down in Jesse's studio. The Funky Tongues
Speaker 1: are finishing their heavy metal scream Oh track while Jesse
Speaker 1: cringes in the background, Oh boy, it is bad. After
Speaker 1: they finished, he comments that was loud and painful. Then
Speaker 1: he hands them their demo tape and they all get
Speaker 1: visibly excited, but Jesse lends some advice. Don't get too excited.
Speaker 1: A demo doesn't mean you're gonna get a record deal.
Speaker 2: Unless you're me, in which case you'll get three three,
Speaker 2: a tour in Tokyo and yeah, yeah, tour, I don't
Speaker 2: know where else.
Speaker 1: Pete shakes them off and says they're just in it
Speaker 1: for the women. He holds up his guitar and posts,
Speaker 1: this guitar is a ticket to Babe Land. Jesse puffs
Speaker 1: out his chest. Oh yeah, I got a few chicks
Speaker 1: in the old days myself. I love how John always
Speaker 1: hoists his jeans up, like, oh.
Speaker 2: Gosh, who was it? The man was Sanford and Son? Yes, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: well it's the it's the like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: It's just these little details that John is just so
Speaker 1: good at yeah. So Pete asks if Jesse had a
Speaker 1: band in high school, and Jesse clarifies fourth grade. Then
Speaker 1: he leads the guys out of the studio, but DJ
Speaker 1: and Kimmy run downstairs to talk to Pete. Before he leaves,
Speaker 1: Gimme suggests that the Funky Tongues need some fly girls.
Speaker 1: She proceeds to break out and dance and beat box
Speaker 1: in front of him.
Speaker 2: And then you probably wish that the stage would open up.
Speaker 1: And swallow you. Hole. My face was hot just watching this.
Speaker 1: It's so so embarrassing that was. It wasn't funny, it
Speaker 1: was just dumb and lame. It was you have an
Speaker 1: expression on your face, and I need you to explain
Speaker 1: it right now, is sweeten?
Speaker 2: Because I'm laughing because there was a silly Hallmark movie
Speaker 2: that I did a while back and the character like
Speaker 2: acts really awkward and then starts to beat boxing, and
Speaker 2: I remember saying that the I was like, I'm friends
Speaker 2: of the director. I was like, Marco, I'm not doing this.
Speaker 2: I Am not. He's like, but He's like, he was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: you are. Even if it never makes it in the movie,
Speaker 2: I see this. So I'm just laughing because I as
Speaker 2: an adult. Like within the last two years, I was like,
Speaker 2: I don't want to beat boxes. I can imagine being
Speaker 2: a teenager and being like watch watch me do be
Speaker 2: like and now I can never It's.
Speaker 1: The worst feeling because you know you got to sell it.
Speaker 1: You have to at least half ass. No, right, you
Speaker 1: have to try to sell it, but you still like,
Speaker 1: you know, like you know yourself. I'm like, it's not
Speaker 1: going to be funny. I know it's not going to
Speaker 1: be funny. Well, no matter how hard I tried to sell.
Speaker 2: It, Yeah, I thought it was funny. It was very Kimmy.
Speaker 1: It was Kimmy. I thought, there's what I will say
Speaker 1: all of it.
Speaker 2: Well, here's what I will say. As a teenager, I
Speaker 2: think there's always a bit of reservation. So you as
Speaker 2: much as you try and sell it, there's still that hesitancy.
Speaker 2: You in fuller as Kimmy would have gone nuts with
Speaker 2: it and.
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have been embarrassed. Right, That's true the teenage part.
Speaker 2: Of the teenager thing where you're like, like, as much
Speaker 2: as you want to fully commit, you're like, this is
Speaker 2: I'm gonna pay for this later.
Speaker 1: I just wished all week. I was like, please cut
Speaker 1: this joke. Please cut this joke, and.
Speaker 2: I'm going to keep it.
Speaker 1: So Kimmy tries to recruit DJ to do this, Come on,
Speaker 1: be a fly girl, and DJ laughs, you're flying solo
Speaker 1: on this one.
Speaker 2: It would have been Jayla.
Speaker 1: P thanks DJ for hooking his band up with Jesse,
Speaker 1: and then he asks her out on a date tonight.
Speaker 1: DJ is surprised, admitting that tonight is short notice, so
Speaker 1: Kimmy promptly volunteers I'm free, and DJ backtracks on second thought,
Speaker 1: you noticed me, I noticed you. That's enough notice. Meanwhile,
Speaker 1: Sledge is still in the studio, so when he starts
Speaker 1: to leave with his guitar in hand, Kimmy jumps in
Speaker 1: to help him. She grabs his guitar and casually asks, Hey, Sledge,
Speaker 1: what are you doing tonight? He tries to tug his
Speaker 1: guitar away from her, but she won't let go. They
Speaker 1: do a tug of war with the with this thing
Speaker 1: until he finally grabs it and just runs out, but
Speaker 1: Kimmy remains confident and brags to Pete and DJ he
Speaker 1: wants me bad. I feel like we've entered a new
Speaker 1: area of cringe. It's just it's not like there's cringey
Speaker 1: and funny, but then there's cringe and just bad and
Speaker 1: not funny, and I feel like we've entered this cringe
Speaker 1: not funny.
Speaker 2: Well, it's the age too, like it, you know what
Speaker 2: I mean. It's funny when you're a little kid, but
Speaker 2: like at some point you're like, there's no way the
Speaker 2: teenager would do this.
Speaker 1: No, Like Kimmy just comes off as desperate, not funny.
Speaker 2: She's just like, what's that cartoon? Ooh a man? Then
Speaker 2: it's from Roger Rabbit or something, and it's like some
Speaker 2: cartoon and she's just like starts drooling over it and
Speaker 2: like chasing a dude around like the Pirates of the
Speaker 2: Caribbeans doll. You know what I mean is very much,
Speaker 2: but it's a very very KIMMI askue.
Speaker 1: Very Kimmy asque I don't like it, but again I
Speaker 1: can't separate myself.
Speaker 2: Kimm I was always kind of like this, yeah.
Speaker 1: But I was funny, like I was funny in early.
Speaker 2: I think this.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I feel like early funny jokes cringey,
Speaker 1: So I don't know. We'll see how I feel. But
Speaker 1: I'm I got a not in my stomach anticipating the
Speaker 1: rest of the series, because I'm like, I just get
Speaker 1: more and more cringe as we come. Okay, in the kitchen,
Speaker 1: Jesse's dressed in the Tucks and he's ready for tonight's
Speaker 1: awards show. He tells the babies that he and Becky
Speaker 1: are going out for a few hours and they're gonna
Speaker 1: miss them so much.
Speaker 2: I am surprised he didn't make this all about him, though.
Speaker 2: I was very Yes, he thought we were gonna have
Speaker 2: a moment where he was like, dressed in the tug.
Speaker 2: Now you know their supportive.
Speaker 1: I'm shocking, shocking, but very true. Becky walks in dress
Speaker 1: in a stunning, sparkly black gown with her hair in
Speaker 1: an updo.
Speaker 2: She looks all of nineteen ninety.
Speaker 1: Oh she does. Yes, that updu's very like you.
Speaker 2: The shoulder pads a little remnant from the late eighties.
Speaker 1: Peak in the early nineties. And she looks great.
Speaker 2: Oh god, she looks gorgeous.
Speaker 1: So Becky relays some bad news to Jesse. I just
Speaker 1: talked to aunt Ida and she can't babysit tonight. Jesse argues,
Speaker 1: we have to go out tonight. I'm having my best
Speaker 1: hair day of the year.
Speaker 2: Ah. There it is.
Speaker 1: It's a little bit about Jesse's the old Jesse wants
Speaker 1: to show up his hair, got your hair cool off?
Speaker 1: Jesse turns to DJ and asks if she can babysit,
Speaker 1: but she can't because she has a date, So Stefph
Speaker 1: pipes up, do it. I won't have a date for
Speaker 1: five years. Becky voices her appreciation, but she reminds Steph
Speaker 1: that she's still a little too young. So Michelle perks up,
Speaker 1: I'll do it, but obviously she's also too young for
Speaker 1: the job. Jesse doesn't know where they're going to find
Speaker 1: a babysitter. Last minute on a Friday night on Cue,
Speaker 1: the door flies open and Kimmy barges in, shouting her
Speaker 1: signature greeting all at tanner Rito's. Jesse and Becky silently
Speaker 1: go back and forth, realizing this could be their babysitter opportunity.
Speaker 1: Becky is all for it, Jesse's totally against it. DJ
Speaker 1: suggests they use Kimmy and Steph, and Steph scoffs, why
Speaker 1: don't you just throw your kids to a pack of wolves.
Speaker 1: Kimmy defends herself, Hey, I've babysat every kid on this block.
Speaker 1: The screaming Tailor, Baby, the Watson Brats, and your very
Speaker 1: own Squirt and Squirt Junior mission.
Speaker 2: Last time you covered a kid's head and butter Yeah,
Speaker 2: oh it went great.
Speaker 1: I mean, they'll keep the kid alive, but I will
Speaker 1: torture him.
Speaker 2: But they will be covered in some sort of condiment
Speaker 2: when you get home.
Speaker 1: And that's the price you pay for. Jimmy, givel a
Speaker 1: cover babysitter exactly. Michelle and Stuff angrily respond in unison,
Speaker 1: don't call me squirt, and Michelle adds Junior. Becky pulls
Speaker 1: Jesse aside to convince him to hire Kimmy. He eventually
Speaker 1: gives in when they agree to call her every ten
Speaker 1: minutes to check in. He happily tells Kimmy she's in
Speaker 1: and she gets right down to business. My rates are
Speaker 1: five dollars an hour, but since you're in a bind,
Speaker 1: it's seven fifty, and Jesse scowls at her. Seven fifty
Speaker 1: and man, this is just.
Speaker 2: That was probably uh, that was probably about minimum wage
Speaker 2: at the time or more.
Speaker 1: That was way more minimum wage seven fifty yeah, oh oh,
Speaker 1: way more definitely. Then Comet runs into the kitchen. Yay,
Speaker 1: comment's back. We've I've missed Timmy hasn't been around in
Speaker 1: a hot minute. Kimmy tells them she doesn't do dogs.
Speaker 1: What kim he has a poodle? Didn't she have a
Speaker 1: poodle in like the dog show or whatever Teddy put
Speaker 1: on in the backyard.
Speaker 2: There was a pool, but that's but it's a family.
Speaker 2: That's a family, it's a family. It's her mom's dogs.
Speaker 2: So she mom's very obsessed.
Speaker 1: With the poodle.
Speaker 2: Jimmy feels bad because basically mom replaced her with Hoodoh
Speaker 2: she didn't like that, very big resentment. Yeah, yeah, she
Speaker 2: replaced explains everything.
Speaker 1: This explains all of it.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: Michelle offers, I can doggie sit Commet will do anything
Speaker 1: for a doggie doodle. She gives the dog a few
Speaker 1: commands while holding the treat, and he obeys every single one.
Speaker 1: Kimmy watches with amusement. Hey, that's pretty good. Will those
Speaker 1: doggie doodles work on the twins? Jesse scowls at her again,
Speaker 1: and this time Becky has to hold him back. What
Speaker 1: could possibly go wrong? Right in the living room, Danny
Speaker 1: is practicing his speech, and this time he's thanking his
Speaker 1: orthodontist for his beautiful smile. So on Brand then the
Speaker 1: doorbell rings and DJ rushes to answer it. She quickly
Speaker 1: tells her dad that she has a date tonight, and
Speaker 1: Danny's surprised because she didn't mention it. On que Pete
Speaker 1: walks in Danny's eyes widen as he surveys two point zero.
Speaker 1: He asks, Uh, it's sludge, isn't it. DJ butts in,
Speaker 1: telling him it's Pete and it's a last minute date.
Speaker 1: Then Pete takes DJ's hand to lead her outside, but
Speaker 1: Danny quickly grabs the other hand and pulls her and
Speaker 1: Pete back inside. He addresses Pete, why don't we have
Speaker 1: a quick little father to new date chat. DJ tries
Speaker 1: to tell him they're only going to the movies, but
Speaker 1: that doesn't stop Danny from questioning. He asks Pete that
Speaker 1: means you to be driving? Huh do you have auto insurance?
Speaker 1: Collision comprehensive uninsured motorists?
Speaker 2: I don't even know if I have all that. I'm
Speaker 2: just kidding, I think.
Speaker 1: Pete tells him he's covered, but Danny does not let
Speaker 1: up any unpaid parking tickets, overdue library books? Have you
Speaker 1: ever had a flu shot? Pete? And he makes a joke, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm clean, ask my parole officer. Danny's horrified parole officer,
Speaker 1: and Pete laughs it's a joke. Chill out, and he
Speaker 1: pokes Danny's stomach.
Speaker 2: That was an odd movie.
Speaker 1: Don't like this. I do not this kid. This kid
Speaker 1: needs to take a seat.
Speaker 2: I'm right. I'd be like, I don't trust.
Speaker 1: To like, have some respect when you come into someone's
Speaker 1: home and speak to the dad.
Speaker 2: Also, would you would you ever poke someone's parents in
Speaker 2: the stomach?
Speaker 1: That'd be weirdy in the stomach, like there's no right, yeah,
Speaker 1: I would be like, hey.
Speaker 2: Just met you, yeah, keep yeah, No, that's weird unless
Speaker 2: you're the pills very door, and then it's mandatory.
Speaker 1: Yes, so Danny, oh yeah, oh, DJ tells her dad,
Speaker 1: could you lay off the third degree please? Pete's a
Speaker 1: nice guy. Danny finally seems to loosen the reins, saying
Speaker 1: all right, then he adds be back in twenty minutes.
Speaker 1: This time, Pete's the one who's shocked, but Danny mocks
Speaker 1: him it's a joke, chill out and pokes his stomach
Speaker 1: too to shame.
Speaker 2: Yeah, just poking each other. Okay, DJ, did it get
Speaker 2: loud all of a sudden or is it just me.
Speaker 1: I guess you're well to me. You're always loo to me,
Speaker 1: but that's just that's your normal.
Speaker 2: I am always allowed to everyone. But you know, it
Speaker 2: felt like that in my ears, my headphones.
Speaker 1: It turned out not Maddie, Manny. Manny will let us
Speaker 1: know if there's something wrong.
Speaker 2: I've tried to not touch the mic though, so goes.
Speaker 1: Very well, You've done very well today, Danny, No where
Speaker 1: am I?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: So? DJ is? DJ and Pete leave and Danny's sighs
Speaker 1: as he closes the door behind them. Joey walks in
Speaker 1: again with mister Woodchuck and they're both dressed in matching tuxedo.
Speaker 2: It's okay, that's kind of how did you get how
Speaker 2: do you find a wood Chuck size tuxedo? It's just,
Speaker 2: you know, it's not like a toddler because he's short,
Speaker 2: but he's also incredibly wide. You're not hitgecock, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean? That sort of body to mension. He's
Speaker 2: short and squarish. Jilly.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this hearkens back to the mannequin that feels like
Speaker 1: Joey would always match clothes with.
Speaker 2: It's just well, it's either the mannequin or the muppet, right,
Speaker 2: and so oh, here we go it is mister Woodchuck
Speaker 2: is really cute in the tuxedo.
Speaker 1: Danny asks if he actually rented a tuxedo for his dummy,
Speaker 1: and Joey responds, of course I did. Mister Woodchuck calls
Speaker 1: Joey snappy, but Joey admits, except for the shoes, they
Speaker 1: gave me two lefties, and he waddles around the room
Speaker 1: to prove it. Then Jesse walks downstairs and tells the
Speaker 1: guys to get going because his new moose is only
Speaker 1: guaranteed for forty five minutes.
Speaker 2: Ah, there it is, there it is.
Speaker 1: But first Danny asks Jesse's opinion on DJ's date tonight.
Speaker 1: Jesse shrugs, calling him a good kid, and Danny lets
Speaker 1: out a huge sigh of relief. He tells them that
Speaker 1: DJ just went out on a date with him. Jesse gasps,
Speaker 1: what you let her go out with that animal? Danny
Speaker 1: reminds Jesse of his previous words, so Jesse clarifies he's
Speaker 1: in a band. All he thinks about is girls. He's
Speaker 1: exactly how I was at seventeen. Danny is now officially
Speaker 1: terrified and tells Kimmy to come into the living room.
Speaker 1: He asks her to tell him everything she knows about
Speaker 1: this pete guy. Kimmy Gusha's he's a legend. Girls throw
Speaker 1: themselves at him. They say, he's never heard the word no.
Speaker 2: She admits that it feels problematic, but we're gonna there's.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, huh, I know.
Speaker 1: It's it's yeah, there's a there's.
Speaker 2: I mean implication, but it's. But I was like, but
Speaker 2: it just sort of hearing it with today's you're like, like,
Speaker 2: oh what really that's not a compliment, right, not at all?
Speaker 1: That sounds so. Kimmy admits, I would love to be
Speaker 1: DJ right now on her way to the drive in
Speaker 1: and that hot black and red van. Oh Van, it's
Speaker 1: always always, always, everyone is an utter disbelief, Jesse asks.
Speaker 1: Drive in Joey questions Van and Danny whimper's my baby,
Speaker 1: and all three of them stand there looking extremely concerned.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we hands are never it's never a good no.
Speaker 2: I remember I had a friend friend in high school.
Speaker 2: My friend Dennis had like a white old mini van
Speaker 2: with no windows, but like a creep van.
Speaker 1: Creep fan a creepy van, yes, but it was.
Speaker 2: Like a it was like a you know, one of
Speaker 2: those old like Astro Chevy Astro whatever. But I just
Speaker 2: remember flying over the back seat of it so that
Speaker 2: we could sneak out of on out on campus, like
Speaker 2: to go off campus for lunch. Three of us piled
Speaker 2: in that little like hatch door behind the third seat.
Speaker 1: Yes, oh, that's very that's very cunny, if you Jody.
Speaker 2: Soon or the time my mom, uh, my friend and
Speaker 2: I went to the movies and then uh, Dennis and
Speaker 2: a couple of friends all came and we were going
Speaker 2: to a party and he picked us up in the
Speaker 2: van and my mom was waiting in the parking lot.
Speaker 1: Janie, Janie is a legend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, She's like, I know this fool. Yeah, She's like,
Speaker 2: you're not going to the movies?
Speaker 1: Nice try, Jody.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: So we come back from a tense commercial break. We're
Speaker 1: still in the living room. Becky walks in and asks
Speaker 1: if everyone's ready to go. Jesse tells her they can't
Speaker 1: go because DJ's at the drive in. Joey adds in
Speaker 1: a hot black and red van and Danny finishes with
Speaker 1: the lead singer of the Funky Tongues. Jesse points to
Speaker 1: the door, saying, we gotta go get her. Joey hands
Speaker 1: mister Woodchuck to Becky and insists they'll meet her at
Speaker 1: the dinner. As Joey's heading out the door, he veers
Speaker 1: off to the side because of his two left shoes.
Speaker 1: Becky is holding mister Woodchuck and she realizes, well, at
Speaker 1: least I have a date. Mister Woodchuck squeals and looks
Speaker 1: Becky up and down, and she jokes, you behave yourself
Speaker 1: and he laughs as they exit the room. Very clever still,
Speaker 1: I mean, very clever. But also, is she.
Speaker 2: Like, then you have the moment You're like, if if
Speaker 2: she were just in the living room, is she making
Speaker 2: is she having this moment with the puppet herself?
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, it's cute.
Speaker 2: I mean, no, it is cute. I thought it was
Speaker 2: very funny.
Speaker 1: If she started a full on conversation, I'd be like,
Speaker 1: what is what is in the water in this house?
Speaker 1: But you know, it was just a little nod to
Speaker 1: the puppetry of mister Foodchuck. It was Laurie did a
Speaker 1: good job.
Speaker 2: No, she was very cute. But my god, This Family's
Speaker 2: Code about Jesus Right takes three adult three adults, two
Speaker 2: of which are nominated for a for an award right,
Speaker 2: three of which you're nominated for award.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just sent Jesse because Jesse's is like, you know,
Speaker 1: Pete grown up, right, And then Danny could get his
Speaker 1: award and Joey could get his award. Like there was
Speaker 1: no need for all three of them, but we have
Speaker 1: to have a storyline.
Speaker 2: Travel in packs.
Speaker 1: Next, in the kitchen, Steph is keeping an eye on
Speaker 1: the babies while Michelle handles commet. He runs inside from
Speaker 1: the backyard, and Michelle proudly states, comment did his business.
Speaker 1: Steph reminds her that he gets a treat for that,
Speaker 1: and Michelle admits, I wish I got a treat every
Speaker 1: time I did my business. Then Kimmy walks over to
Speaker 1: feed the babies their dinner. She looks at the tiny
Speaker 1: food jar and reads strained squash, and then she smells
Speaker 1: it and her face sours. I just remembered I had
Speaker 1: a traumatic experience with a squash once I had to
Speaker 1: eat it. She slides the baby food jar to Stephanie
Speaker 1: and commands, here, you feed them. Steph reminds Kimmy it's
Speaker 1: her job, but Kimmy protests, come on, be a bud
Speaker 1: and nourish the little drool puppies. Stephanie agrees, but under
Speaker 1: one condition. It'll cost her. Kimmy offers a dime, and
Speaker 1: Stuff negotiates for a dollar. She gets Kimmy to agree
Speaker 1: when she waves the strange squash under her nose, and
Speaker 1: Stuff also clarifies that's a dollar per kid. Burps are
Speaker 1: extra and they shake on it.
Speaker 2: This is why I love steph She knows, she knows
Speaker 2: how to work, work it. You know, she will work
Speaker 2: that to her advantage. She's like, I'm a middle child.
Speaker 2: I gotta be scratched. Yeah, you know she is.
Speaker 1: She knows she has learned how to survive in this house. Yeah,
Speaker 1: very very smart. Next we're at the drive in and Danny, Jesse,
Speaker 1: and Joey are walking around searching for DJ.
Speaker 2: Where is there a drive in in sand for Cisco.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's an open, Maybe it's up and at an open. Yeah,
Speaker 2: where would Oakland with the They have the syrup wrestling
Speaker 2: over there, so they probably got to drive in.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess. I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know, like there are many drive ins left
Speaker 1: these days, so I'm just I just feel like, uh,
Speaker 1: drive in in San Francis, in the city of too
Speaker 1: many hills, right, too many top hills.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: The boys are getting honked at for standing in front
Speaker 1: of people's cars, and Danny yells, DJ, where are you?
Speaker 1: Finally they spot a red van, but when Jesse and
Speaker 1: Joey try to look inside, they can't see because it's
Speaker 1: all steamed up. Danny nervously says they better be making
Speaker 1: soup in there. Jesse opens the van doors to reveal
Speaker 1: an old couple holding each other in the back seat.
Speaker 1: They're so cute.
Speaker 2: Yeah, there's just old people trying to you know, get
Speaker 2: it there friday night in the back of their own.
Speaker 1: Van, lives you know, entire interrupted by these pause, Jesse stammers, sorry,
Speaker 1: wrong van, Do your parents know what you're up to?
Speaker 1: They shut the doors and continue their search. Then we
Speaker 1: switch over to DJ and Pete, who are watching the
Speaker 1: movie in his van. DJ's in the passenger seat and
Speaker 1: Pete's in the driver's seat. DJ's making comments on the film,
Speaker 1: but Pete thinks it's lame. He suggests they get in
Speaker 1: the back to get a little more comfortable. DJ hesitates,
Speaker 1: I don't like this guy. I hate this guy. Like
Speaker 1: did I hate him as much? Back when we shot
Speaker 1: this in ninety two?
Speaker 2: I don't think so, probably not, because this was more
Speaker 2: of the typical like cool bad boy sort of. Now
Speaker 2: you're just like, dude, you're a creepy creed.
Speaker 1: Got that. Yeah? So DJ hesitates, and she says I'm
Speaker 1: pretty comfortable right here, and Pete lets out a sigh
Speaker 1: of disappointment. Oh that's right, I forgot. You're a freshman.
Speaker 1: This must be like your first time at a drive in, right.
Speaker 1: DJ nods, but tells him she was just there for
Speaker 1: a swap meet on Sunday. He continues to push her
Speaker 1: to get in the back. He says they'll just listen
Speaker 1: to music for a while. Hate this guy, hate this guy? Right?
Speaker 2: No, No, I'm like, I'm so worry I'm listening, don't right,
Speaker 2: I know, I'm so uncomfortable with this whole scene, which
Speaker 2: I know I don't it's the point, but also, yeah,
Speaker 2: now it's maving.
Speaker 1: I'm more uncomfortable watching this in twenty twenty five than
Speaker 1: I would have been watching.
Speaker 2: Nineteen because, you know, because in twenty twenty five you're like,
Speaker 2: this is really inappropriate behavior, but in nineteen ninety two,
Speaker 2: it was just kind of normal and we all accepted like,
Speaker 2: oh no, dudes are just kind of creepy and like
Speaker 2: or she went.
Speaker 1: To the back of a vand yeah, no way, different
Speaker 1: implications now so and I just.
Speaker 2: Couldn't Now I know when when, what's exactly what it meant?
Speaker 2: When he's never heard the word no?
Speaker 1: I bet yeah, exactly exactly heat oh man, this guy.
Speaker 1: So DJ agrees and they climb in the back. It's
Speaker 1: separated with a curtain and decorated with two tiger print pillows,
Speaker 1: a blanket, and a stereo. Do you Jay realize I'm
Speaker 1: Decora alone?
Speaker 2: Run man, this is what is this?
Speaker 1: Nineteen seventy four DJ said, it's sure as private back here,
Speaker 1: and Pete tries to set the mood. Now all we
Speaker 1: need is a little romantic music, and he plays his
Speaker 1: scream o music from their demo tape. Got Pete like,
Speaker 1: read the room, you'll catch it. Just catch on to
Speaker 1: her signals. She's not comfortable with this.
Speaker 2: Pete, and the screamo music isn't healthing. Certainly those death
Speaker 2: metal is not the it's not Marvin Gange, you know
Speaker 2: what I mean. It doesn't exactly inspire. It's not making
Speaker 2: DJ more comfortable. I'll tell you no, no, no, no, DJ.
Speaker 1: Anxiously says, boy, that just makes you want to get
Speaker 1: up and dance, but Pete tells her to just relax,
Speaker 1: and then he leans in and kisses her. Outside, Jesse, Danny,
Speaker 1: and Joey find Pete's vand Jesse recognizes Pete's song and
Speaker 1: Joey spots DJ's coat in the passenger seat. Inside. DJ
Speaker 1: pulls away from Pete and says, let's just watch the movie.
Speaker 1: He asks why, and she admits, I just don't feel
Speaker 1: right about this.
Speaker 2: Okay, good DJ, good job.
Speaker 1: Proud of you, DJ. Oh, that's exactly kids who are listening,
Speaker 1: that's the thing you say.
Speaker 2: You say what you don't.
Speaker 1: Feel comfortable with something?
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: Pete drops his head in disappointment and sighs, all right,
Speaker 1: that's cool, and he offers to go get them some popcorn.
Speaker 2: Okay, he took it.
Speaker 1: Well, I will give him back that. I'll give him.
Speaker 1: I mean, it is full house, we can.
Speaker 2: If it would have gotten any further, it would have
Speaker 2: been an after school Smell's true, very true.
Speaker 1: But I'm happy yes that he finally took the hint
Speaker 1: and removed himself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, go get some popcorn.
Speaker 1: Go cool off, dude. He hops out of the van.
Speaker 1: DJ turns off the music and opens the curtains. DJ
Speaker 1: screams when she sees Danny, Joey, and Jesse sitting in
Speaker 1: the front seat, and they scream right back at her.
Speaker 1: DJ is horrified that they crashed her date and asks
Speaker 1: what they're doing here. Danny says they were worried about her,
Speaker 1: and he asks where's Pete. She frantically tells them he's
Speaker 1: getting popcorn and begs, would you guys please leave? I'm
Speaker 1: on a date, okay. Jesse reminds her she didn't say
Speaker 1: she was going to a drive in, and Danny adds
Speaker 1: in Tony the Tigers Van. DJ promises they can talk
Speaker 1: about it later, but she doesn't want Pete to see
Speaker 1: them in here. When they don't budge, she shouts, do
Speaker 1: you know how embarrassing this is? Put yourself in my shoes?
Speaker 1: And Joey responds, I'd love to you got a left
Speaker 1: in a right. DJ looks outside the window and she
Speaker 1: notices that Pete's coming back. She pleads with them, please leave.
Speaker 1: I promise, I'll tell him to take me home. Just
Speaker 1: don't let him see you here, and she quickly shuts
Speaker 1: the curtains. Pete hops back in and suggests they move
Speaker 1: back to the front, but DJ stops him, Wait just
Speaker 1: a minute, we should straighten up first. I come from
Speaker 1: a very neat family. Then someone sneezes in the front seat.
Speaker 1: Pete opens the curtain to find all three of the
Speaker 1: guys still there.
Speaker 2: I don't know which is creepier, you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 2: is it Pete?
Speaker 1: Is it three? The guys won't leave you in the van.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to feel about. That's in unison.
Speaker 1: The three guys say hello. Pete greets them back, looking
Speaker 1: extremely surprised. The guys try to explain what they're doing
Speaker 1: in the front seat, but no one can come up
Speaker 1: with a valid reason. Finally, they decide it's time to leave,
Speaker 1: and Pete tells DJ, why don't we just call it
Speaker 1: a night. Actually, you can go ahead and go home
Speaker 1: with your dad, and DJ looks at the guys with
Speaker 1: utter devastation.
Speaker 2: They saved you. I saved you. That's why I know
Speaker 2: it's painful at the time. Saved you from from this.
Speaker 1: F boy exactly. I feel like the way this was written,
Speaker 1: it was meant to get us to feel bad for DJ,
Speaker 1: like olak embarrassing Your dads are right they.
Speaker 2: Were spot on.
Speaker 1: They were right to be, to be you know, this
Speaker 1: guy suspicious paper in a vanage. I don't think I
Speaker 1: would have left the front seat either. I would have
Speaker 1: been like not staying here.
Speaker 2: It's like a mind Hunter episode, that's how it starts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, totally.
Speaker 2: So do you do you remember though?
Speaker 1: I do? I do exactly story you're going, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: go for it. So on.
Speaker 2: On the gag reel for this season, for season five,
Speaker 2: there is a bit where when it was just Bob
Speaker 2: and Dave and John. They were like in the parking lot,
Speaker 2: parking lot looking at different you know, vans or whatever.
Speaker 2: So it's just the adults. No, no kids were there,
Speaker 2: wasn't you know, right, And they they show the clip
Speaker 2: is they're supposed to walk out from behind the van
Speaker 2: and be like, oh, this is Pete's van. Yeah, So
Speaker 2: instead they walk out from behind the van all of
Speaker 2: them in boxer shorts with like their pants around their ankles,
Speaker 2: just like in tuxedos, right, tuxedoxo top and just still
Speaker 2: the tuxedos and the pants and just ridiculous like like
Speaker 2: shorts boxers, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: When they played the city, like they start their line
Speaker 1: and in the whole scene, yeah John pants stop laughing.
Speaker 1: He's laughing the whole thing of Bob's just saying his
Speaker 1: lines like normal.
Speaker 2: Like this is right. Yeah, Oh, it was hilarious.
Speaker 1: It was very fun. I don't even know why they
Speaker 1: did that except just to I think it was to
Speaker 1: break the tension on a long Thursday night or something.
Speaker 2: It was a long Thursday night.
Speaker 1: Joel.
Speaker 2: Like the I'm sure it was the joking of it,
Speaker 2: like what are these three guys doing creeping around in
Speaker 2: a drive in parking lot and like you know what
Speaker 2: I mean, the only thing that would make it creepier
Speaker 2: is if they had their pants run And that's a
Speaker 2: stupid joke of it, you know.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: That was just kind of like when we did the
Speaker 2: gym scene with huh and yeah, and we all did
Speaker 2: the stupid sobs shit. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is just this is what we do. This
Speaker 1: is how we entertain ourselves, right on a set on
Speaker 1: long weeks. Yeah, No, that was fun. That's a classic.
Speaker 1: I remember that from from the gag. Really, that was hysterical. Yep.
Speaker 1: We're back in the kitchen now. Kimmy walks over to
Speaker 1: the twins and announces, Okay, let's get you two to
Speaker 1: bed so I can hit the phone. But then she
Speaker 1: catches a whiff of something stinky. She immediately turns to
Speaker 1: Stephanie and asks, would you mind disposing of the toxic waste?
Speaker 1: Steph agrees, but it'll cost her again. Kim Me agrees,
Speaker 1: but tells her to hurry up before the smoke alarm
Speaker 1: goes off. Meanwhile, Michelle surveys comment after she finishes brushing
Speaker 1: his mane. She praises, good boy, you look very pretty.
Speaker 1: He stands up on the counter begging for another treat,
Speaker 1: and Michelle gives it to him. She takes a closer
Speaker 1: look at the doggy doodle and realizes that they look
Speaker 1: more like a cookie. She holds it up to her
Speaker 1: nose and comments, they smell like a pork chop, so
Speaker 1: of course she takes a bite of one and immediately
Speaker 1: regrets it. He grabs a napkin to dispose of the
Speaker 1: dog treat.
Speaker 2: She wi has a lot of kids that do that.
Speaker 2: They're like, what it tastes like?
Speaker 1: Well, yes, i'd be curious too. You know It's like I.
Speaker 2: Think I remember being a kid and my friend eating
Speaker 2: a jerky treat. Oh remember those treats for dogs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, well I think that. Unfortunately, dog, the
Speaker 1: stinkier it is, the more dogs love it. That's the least.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, they're like, oh, that's a disgusting, but yeah.
Speaker 1: Michelle wipes her tongue and she says, I should have
Speaker 1: known you drink from the toilet. And next in the nursery,
Speaker 1: Kimmy's standing in the corner as far away from Stephanie
Speaker 1: and the changing table as she can get. Steph tells
Speaker 1: her she can breathe now, and Kimmy lets out an
Speaker 1: exaggerated exhale. Then Becky walks in and asks, how are
Speaker 1: my adorable babies. Kimmy sarcastically responds, yeah, adorable if you
Speaker 1: don't have a sense of smell. I'm surprised your wallpaper
Speaker 1: isn't peeling. Could you please pay me so I can
Speaker 1: go home. Becky owes her ten dollars, so she walks
Speaker 1: out to go get her purse. In the meantime, Steph
Speaker 1: starts to add up all of her paid tasks. She
Speaker 1: shows Kimmy the piece of paper with everything listed out.
Speaker 1: You owe me for two feeds, two burps, two number twos,
Speaker 1: and a number one, which is As Becky walks back
Speaker 1: into the room and starts to hand Kimmy a ten
Speaker 1: dollar bill, Steph snatches it from Becky's hand and that
Speaker 1: comes out to ten dollars and Kimmy's jaw drops. What
Speaker 1: a rip off. Steph grins and asks Becky if they
Speaker 1: can make Kimmy their regular babysitter.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know that's working it.
Speaker 1: She's working. I don't Stiff did all the work, so
Speaker 1: she deserves the many.
Speaker 2: Exactly.
Speaker 1: Kimmy just made sure that the house didn't burn down.
Speaker 1: That's all she did. Meanwhile, in the living room, DJ
Speaker 1: storms in and Jesse, Joey, and Danny try to stop
Speaker 1: her from running upstairs. Danny shouts, we need to talk.
Speaker 1: You can't keep giving us the silent treatment. She stops
Speaker 1: halfway up the stairs. Okay, fine, let's talk. I'm totally
Speaker 1: humiliated and when this gets around school, I'll never be
Speaker 1: asked out again. But that's what you wanted, isn't it.
Speaker 1: She runs away from them, and Jesse admits I think
Speaker 1: we were doing better with the silent treatment. Before they
Speaker 1: can follow after her, Joey stops them so he can
Speaker 1: take off his shoes. He lets out a sigh of
Speaker 1: relief once they're often gives them the go ahead.
Speaker 2: I think was like, remember how when you were a
Speaker 2: teenager and you like storm off and it was like
Speaker 2: annoying when your mom or your dad like came and
Speaker 2: followed you to continue talking about it. Yeah, can you
Speaker 2: imagine three of them?
Speaker 1: That's overwhelming. We're coming. It's an ambush, right yes. In
Speaker 1: DJ's room, DJ's standing with her arms crossed. When the
Speaker 1: guys walk in, Danny insists that they have to talk
Speaker 1: about this. She scoffs. You said I was old enough
Speaker 1: to date. You said you trust me, You said you
Speaker 1: have had confidence in my judgment. But you didn't mean it,
Speaker 1: did you. I mean, the first time I go out
Speaker 1: with a guy you don't like, you come charging in
Speaker 1: like the date police. You completely overreacted. All three of
Speaker 1: you owe me an apology. The guys look at each
Speaker 1: other and realize she may be right. They did get
Speaker 1: a little crazy, and they all apologize for their behavior.
Speaker 1: I don't think they need to apologize, but I don't.
Speaker 1: I mean, they don't.
Speaker 2: Well, the way they handled it was a bit ridiculous.
Speaker 1: It was a little over the top. It was a
Speaker 1: little over the top.
Speaker 2: They embarrassed him. But you know they kind of hopping
Speaker 2: in the van was and then not leaving and then
Speaker 2: not leaving.
Speaker 1: Right, I'm like, stand a little ways away, but right, yeah, well,
Speaker 1: and I'm thinking, I know we're in the middle of
Speaker 1: the scene, but I'm just going to start talking anyway,
Speaker 1: So who cares? Who cares about the copy? Uh? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking about this, like, because this is relatable to
Speaker 1: me because Felicity has her first boyfriend now, okay, and
Speaker 1: I'm I'm a little I parent differently than I did
Speaker 1: with Tate. I was just like, you got to be careful.
Speaker 1: She's like, you don't trust me, and I'm like, I
Speaker 1: do trust you. I don't trust the boys, so I
Speaker 1: mean until I get to know them. Now I know
Speaker 1: her boyfriend, he's a great guy, but you know, when
Speaker 1: it's like they're starting to date, I'm just like, no, no,
Speaker 1: you can't be alone with them. You need to go
Speaker 1: to a public setting, go to a mall, but right,
Speaker 1: go you know anywhere where there's lots of hundreds and
Speaker 1: hundreds of right right that they don't go to the
Speaker 1: mall anymore. I know, I know, So I don't. I mean,
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's fair, but that's just how
Speaker 1: I parent in twenty twenty five, is that it's different.
Speaker 1: I think girls need to be more careful. I don't
Speaker 1: know if that's sexist or unfair to say that, but
Speaker 1: I'm just worrying about my kid.
Speaker 2: Well yeah, I mean you're worried about your kid. I
Speaker 2: don't think it's out of the out of like the
Speaker 2: norm to worry about your kids once they start dating.
Speaker 2: I think it's just a matter of like teaching our
Speaker 2: boys how to behave and teaching our girls how to
Speaker 2: listen to their guts.
Speaker 1: And yeah, speak up. That's actually to themselves.
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, because usually you're like, like Evened, she was like,
Speaker 2: I don't think this is not great, and then he's like,
Speaker 2: hey we should go in the back.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, you got to listen to trust, trust your guts,
Speaker 1: little voice. And for boys, yeah, you got to teach
Speaker 1: them about consent now, you know, yes, exactly, make it
Speaker 1: very clear. Crystal is sexy. Yes, right, yeah exactly, absolutely
Speaker 1: so DJ lets them off easy. Everybody makes mistakes. I
Speaker 1: just hope the next time you'll think things through a
Speaker 1: little better, and she pats Danny's arm in reassurance. They
Speaker 1: all continue with their apologies as they file out of
Speaker 1: the room and she shuts the door behind them. As
Speaker 1: soon as the door closes, it opens. The guys realize
Speaker 1: they have a lot more to say. DJ jokes, I
Speaker 1: knew that was too easy. Danny asks, why did you
Speaker 1: lie to us about where you were going tonight? DJ
Speaker 1: says she didn't lie. She did say she was going
Speaker 1: to a movie, and Jesse argues, yeah, but you conveniently
Speaker 1: forgot to tell us it was a drive in movie.
Speaker 1: Danny adds, with a guy who's never heard the word no.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that would be creepy.
Speaker 1: That's creepy, and DJ does admit that she forgot to
Speaker 1: mention that, so Danny reasons with her, Look, you're fifteen
Speaker 1: years old and you still live by the rules of
Speaker 1: this house, and if you're going on a date, you
Speaker 1: have to tell us exactly where you're going. DJ insists
Speaker 1: she just didn't want them to freak out, and Jesse wonders,
Speaker 1: what makes you think we would have freaked out just
Speaker 1: because we ran around a drive in in our tuxedos.
Speaker 1: Joey also reminds her that her dating life is new
Speaker 1: territory for them too. He emphasizes we just have to
Speaker 1: trust each other. We always want what's best for you.
Speaker 1: Dj thanks them and asks for one favor, no more
Speaker 1: commando raids on her dates, and Danny responds, no more
Speaker 1: drive ins for a while. She agrees to that deal
Speaker 1: and they hug it out. Then Becky walks in. So easy,
Speaker 1: every fight can be resolved in one scene at the
Speaker 1: end of a twenty two minute nobody gets an attitude.
Speaker 2: Nobody yells, there's no door slamming.
Speaker 1: You're not referencing, you know, the fight you had three
Speaker 1: weeks ago, right.
Speaker 2: Yeah, bringing up how you're always unfair. You never do
Speaker 2: any of this. Yeah, yeah. Nobody's crying.
Speaker 1: Nobody's crying, nobody's yelling. It's just resolved. So then Becky
Speaker 1: walks in and she has a trophy in her hand.
Speaker 1: Danny notices and immediately gets excited because he thinks they won.
Speaker 1: He holds the trophy in the air and announces vindicate
Speaker 1: it after four long years. But she takes the tr
Speaker 1: trophy from Danny and hands it over to Joey. She clarifies, well,
Speaker 1: actually they recognized Joey's talents. He won for Best Children's Programming.
Speaker 1: Now Joey's the one to hold the trophy in the
Speaker 1: air and say, oh, this is great. Vindicated after four
Speaker 1: long months, Danny.
Speaker 2: As you do in the Tanner household, you know, just
Speaker 2: shoot right up to success.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, he does enough to climb that ladder. He's
Speaker 1: already at the top it started at the time. Danny
Speaker 1: congratulates him and asks to hold hold it for a second,
Speaker 1: And when Joey hands it over, Danny runs away and
Speaker 1: steals it. Joey calls him an immature baby and runs
Speaker 1: after him. And that is our.
Speaker 3: Show, Dinna, who Well that was a doozy, Yeah, I remember,
Speaker 3: but it was a it was a I get, you know,
Speaker 3: the sort of the big deal of like DJ.
Speaker 2: Going on dates and all that. That's a very big
Speaker 2: milestone for like fifteen year old yeah and parents.
Speaker 1: Yeah, big milestone. Trick he to navigate, you know, gets
Speaker 1: hurdered territories. I just I didn't like. I didn't like
Speaker 1: this Pete guy because he also had zero charm. Like
Speaker 1: at least Jesse, Uncle Jesse, he's got charmed for days.
Speaker 1: But this Pete guy, he was just like, what.
Speaker 2: Was here's the thing. Well, here's the thing I always is.
Speaker 2: And I go, oh, I think this is what dudes
Speaker 2: think is attractive. Oh just that's always you know what
Speaker 2: I mean. Sometimes you'll just see like and you're like,
Speaker 2: they're it real. It feels like that doesn't Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it feels like this is what a dude would think
Speaker 2: is like mister cool guy and gonna get all the girls,
Speaker 2: and girls are like, I don't like not really.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're right, okay nineteen ninety.
Speaker 2: I mean he was, but you know he was. He
Speaker 2: was cute rocker.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he looked Uncle Jesse s No. But I just
Speaker 1: thought the care I just didn't like. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know if it was the actor or the writing,
Speaker 1: but I'm just like, he just he had I didn't
Speaker 1: see the appeal unless it's just DJ wants to date
Speaker 1: a bad boy, I don't know. I mean, there's giving Viper.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of people you mean like that. You're like,
Speaker 1: I don't see the appeal. So, you know, especially have
Speaker 1: some lead singers, some artists.
Speaker 2: You're like, I don't really get it. Now that I
Speaker 2: meet you, I really don't get it.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it's just I guess this is a trend.
Speaker 2: Blinded by, blinded by you know, a den invest and
Speaker 2: a good metal screen. I guess, I guess, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't know. This is just DJ's type because this
Speaker 1: is DJ.
Speaker 2: DJ is going yeah she later DG is the good girl,
Speaker 2: so she's like, I'm going to.
Speaker 1: Go out with the I need to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to go for the bad boys, right
Speaker 2: and all right, Well it doesn't work out great for her,
Speaker 2: although Viper's coming.
Speaker 1: So I just just wait via Viper is oh boys here, yes,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I remember this. I remembered this storyline. I
Speaker 1: didn't remember feeling this way. So again I can't I
Speaker 1: cannot untangle my protective gut instinct to protect DJ from
Speaker 1: this nineteen ninety to storyline where it wasn't that it
Speaker 1: was people weren't triggered like I apparently am right now.
Speaker 2: Well again, it just makes such a difference when you're like, oh, yeah, no,
Speaker 2: this is just not the way you approach things or
Speaker 2: people or dates or you know, trying to make a
Speaker 2: move on. It's just not yeah, yeah, but that was
Speaker 2: the nineties.
Speaker 1: Was the nineties. That was the nineties.
Speaker 2: But yeah, everybody had a weird creepy van. That's the
Speaker 2: first thing. It up in a mystery machine.
Speaker 1: No, don't get in, No, just don't know.
Speaker 2: No paneled vans don't get in if there's no windows. No, no, no, nope, nope,
Speaker 2: go right and ask you what size you are while
Speaker 2: trying to have you help them with a cout.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: It's a scene from Silence of the Lab. He has
Speaker 2: her helping, he has her helping lift this thing into
Speaker 2: the and he goes.
Speaker 1: What size shoe are you?
Speaker 2: Or what size are you? Because he's gonna make a
Speaker 2: dress out of her. So I asked, Yeah, it's creepy, creepy, creepy. Again,
Speaker 2: that's why you should not trust.
Speaker 1: People with the trust people with vans exactly that that's
Speaker 1: your less and today faneritos, don't trust, don't trust van
Speaker 1: people with fans with no windows especially Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'm sorry out there if we've offended anyone
Speaker 2: who listens to this podcast who has a non windowed van. Uh,
Speaker 2: you aren't a creep Uh. We're sorry, but you should
Speaker 2: know that people are assuming that you are.
Speaker 1: So we just want to air on the side of caution.
Speaker 1: We're a we are mothers of young girls, so we're
Speaker 1: just like, hey, right, don't just have anybody Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: any other car.
Speaker 2: I do remember being with the girls one time at
Speaker 2: like a little outdoor like Mexican restaurant, and this van
Speaker 2: pulled around the back and like we were Celia and
Speaker 2: I were kind of overstanding here right here, eating table
Speaker 2: was literally like five feet away. Why did the creepiest
Speaker 2: old man pull up next to the thing, like down
Speaker 2: the little alley and hold up a puppy to the
Speaker 2: table full of four young girls?
Speaker 1: Was like, look at that?
Speaker 2: And I was like absolutely red you are, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: And of course at the time, they you know, the
Speaker 2: kids were little. B was like, oh, a puppy, Like
Speaker 2: you're that's it, You're the one.
Speaker 1: You're all that's missing is candy to like, here's some candy,
Speaker 1: Here's a puppy. It's like, yikes. Anyway, did you have
Speaker 1: any van? Did you have an everywhere you look? I
Speaker 1: think I have one, but I'm not sure I didn't
Speaker 1: have one. I think, well, the one I have maybe
Speaker 1: one of the funky tongues. I'm pretty sure that's Mark
Speaker 1: Warren's kid, Like that looks exactly like Mark Warren. One
Speaker 1: of them that didn't not sludge, but like the one.
Speaker 2: Of the Pete not Pete Tony.
Speaker 1: I don't remember that.
Speaker 2: I don't know the wrist. I don't know, not Sludge,
Speaker 2: not Pete, the other guys.
Speaker 1: One of the other guys is Mark, I probably, Yeah,
Speaker 1: it looks just like him, so I'm like that. I
Speaker 1: think that's him. So that's I'm making it up.
Speaker 2: That's my everywhere, that's your everywhere.
Speaker 1: It's not mister, I apologize.
Speaker 2: I did not I did not have one.
Speaker 1: No, So okay, well that's it all right. Well that
Speaker 1: was that was an episode that we've.
Speaker 2: We've learned our lesson today. Everyone ofoid the creepy vans,
Speaker 2: don't go to drive ins, and also, uh, try not
Speaker 2: to be crazy and jump into a van when your
Speaker 2: teenagers on a date and uh, you know, maybe just
Speaker 2: be a little more normal.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's lessons for every lessons for everyone, to lessons
Speaker 1: for everyone. Yes, and don't make that's it. Yeah, that's it.
Speaker 1: We Yeah, we saw that. I liked our bits.
Speaker 2: We saw We've solved so many process today.
Speaker 1: And don't trust Kimmy Gibbler with your children and don't
Speaker 1: yeah trus Kimmy Gibbler.
Speaker 2: Uh, basically, what has been shown in this is that
Speaker 2: stuff can hold it down.
Speaker 1: I was hoping for something more dramatic between you and
Speaker 1: me like, because Kimmy famously has like crazy stuff happens
Speaker 1: when she baby sits, the butter, the head, the banister,
Speaker 1: you know, dropping TV's off, like all the things happened.
Speaker 1: So I'm like, oh, nothing catastrophic happened.
Speaker 2: Between it was just I mean that's probably a good thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it involves Becky and Jesse's kids, so yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess yeah you can.
Speaker 2: You can other kids heads and butter, but not not.
Speaker 1: The babys twins. No, Jesse would never allow.
Speaker 2: Well, he might be like, maybe it's giving them a
Speaker 2: nice hair treatment. They're gonna butter at all the facts
Speaker 2: just really getting in there.
Speaker 1: May yeah, maybe they're hair faster exactly some butter on there.
Speaker 2: Oh Jesse would do that, would well. Everybody, thank you
Speaker 2: so much for joining us again for another fun, fabulous,
Speaker 2: uh informational episode. We teach how rd Tanato's. Yeah, we
Speaker 2: teach things, you guys, We really do. So you're welcome anyway. Uh,
Speaker 2: make sure that you find us on Instagram if you
Speaker 2: want to catch more of our craziness or behind the
Speaker 2: scenes stuff. We are at how Rude Podcast, or you
Speaker 2: can send us an email at how Rude Tanatos at
Speaker 2: gmail dot com, our merch storg, how rude merch dot com.
Speaker 2: And I all right, everybody, well we will see you
Speaker 2: next time. And remember the world is small. The house
Speaker 2: full of creepy tiger print pillows, just it's there everywhere.
Speaker 2: You can't get there, the furry, the fuzz, there's nothing.
Speaker 2: You're like, why is that? Why is the fuzz feel
Speaker 2: that way? Yeah, no, just you know, it's weird. It's
Speaker 2: just I don't like.
Speaker 1: Yeah, we're the most retired.
Speaker 2: Please gross