1 00:00:12,320 --> 00:00:16,160 Speaker 1: Hi, Hi. First thing I have to ask is how 2 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:16,520 Speaker 1: are you. 3 00:00:19,040 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 2: I'm okay. I'm hanging in there. 4 00:00:21,880 --> 00:00:28,560 Speaker 3: It's been a whirlwind, it's been chaos, but I've taken 5 00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 3: some time to myself to reflect and try to understand 6 00:00:33,040 --> 00:00:36,880 Speaker 3: my actions, and I finally have come to the place 7 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:38,960 Speaker 3: where it makes sense to me. 8 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:46,720 Speaker 1: Wow, so quieting all the noise going away, disconnecting really 9 00:00:46,760 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 1: gave you, and getting help really gave you clarity. 10 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:54,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I part of the reason why I wanted to 11 00:00:54,840 --> 00:00:57,680 Speaker 3: take some time away, It's just because it was so 12 00:00:58,320 --> 00:01:03,080 Speaker 3: chaotic and loud, and there was such vitriol online. But 13 00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:06,080 Speaker 3: then the other part of the reason why I wanted 14 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:11,760 Speaker 3: to go to a treatment facility was to understand my behaviors. 15 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:16,319 Speaker 3: And my goal was to really get down to the 16 00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:22,560 Speaker 3: bottom of Okay, why am I choosing men that are unavailable? 17 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:28,760 Speaker 3: Why do I keep finding myself in unhealthy relationships? What 18 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,800 Speaker 3: are the things that I need to change about my behavior? 19 00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:37,080 Speaker 3: And in knowing that I needed to make a change, 20 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:40,679 Speaker 3: I first had to know what it was that leads 21 00:01:40,720 --> 00:01:44,560 Speaker 3: to those behaviors. So the place of wounding. 22 00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 1: I used to have a therapist that called it my 23 00:01:46,319 --> 00:01:48,920 Speaker 1: place of wounding, Like whatever your thing is in your 24 00:01:48,960 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 1: life that just holds you back. So how did we 25 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 1: get here? From your perspective? Because I never I've never 26 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:03,320 Speaker 1: watched vander Pump Rules until I took interest in you. 27 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:07,960 Speaker 1: I saw clips online and in the back of my 28 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,160 Speaker 1: head had an opinion about what was going on, and 29 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:15,080 Speaker 1: it seemed disproportionate to me. I was watching clips on 30 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:18,360 Speaker 1: social media and hearing about this scand of all that 31 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,760 Speaker 1: had a name was being marketed and it was being 32 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 1: pumped through the PR machine, and I did say everyone, 33 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:27,640 Speaker 1: I think I made one comment about it, saying, everybody's 34 00:02:27,720 --> 00:02:30,160 Speaker 1: going to be more well known than they were before 35 00:02:30,200 --> 00:02:33,560 Speaker 1: because of this. And my mind was, they're on a 36 00:02:33,600 --> 00:02:36,959 Speaker 1: reality show. It's set in a bar, was what. I think. 37 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:43,680 Speaker 1: It's fueled by alcohol and partying and multiple affairs. So what, respectfully, 38 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,200 Speaker 1: what the hell is the big deal that everyone's talking about, 39 00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:48,600 Speaker 1: Like I didn't watch. I just saw online being like, 40 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 1: what this is so gigantic, Like the guy, the girl 41 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 1: wasn't married, the couple wasn't married, no one had kids, 42 00:02:55,440 --> 00:02:58,320 Speaker 1: like so that was just in the back of my mind, 43 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,280 Speaker 1: not knowing you, not knowing the show, and I started 44 00:03:01,320 --> 00:03:04,720 Speaker 1: to talk about this reality reckoning and this concept that 45 00:03:04,800 --> 00:03:06,639 Speaker 1: was just an off the cuff thing that I said 46 00:03:06,760 --> 00:03:12,520 Speaker 1: about exploitation without compensation, and I said, your name just 47 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,080 Speaker 1: as an example of what I imagined to be somebody 48 00:03:15,120 --> 00:03:18,240 Speaker 1: who had been exploited and for the rest of your life, 49 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 1: that content will be out there without compensation. And that 50 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,360 Speaker 1: was like where I left it, and that's so. And 51 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,800 Speaker 1: then your representative reached out to me, so that was like, 52 00:03:28,840 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 1: that's my perspective, and I wanted to know what your 53 00:03:31,880 --> 00:03:32,400 Speaker 1: side was. 54 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:37,640 Speaker 3: It's so nice to have you validate that experience, because 55 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 3: for a moment, I thought I was going crazy. And 56 00:03:42,520 --> 00:03:48,360 Speaker 3: it's true reality TV is it's edited, it is contrived 57 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:53,920 Speaker 3: to create a certain storyline, and so it's not all factual. 58 00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:59,360 Speaker 3: So as a viewer tuning in, it's easy to get 59 00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 3: wrapped up and then the concept of an affair hits home. 60 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:07,080 Speaker 2: It's really hard to a lot of people. 61 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,040 Speaker 3: So I think there was a lot of projection happening, 62 00:04:10,400 --> 00:04:14,600 Speaker 3: a lot of emotions that came up for people, and 63 00:04:15,240 --> 00:04:18,480 Speaker 3: unfortunately I was the punching bag for a lot of that. 64 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 3: I do want to take a moment, though, to I 65 00:04:24,560 --> 00:04:30,080 Speaker 3: do want to take a moment to just acknowledge the 66 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 3: hurt that I brought to a lot of people. I 67 00:04:33,839 --> 00:04:37,200 Speaker 3: was not careful in my actions and I was not 68 00:04:37,480 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 3: thinking long term. I was completely wrapped up in heartbreak 69 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:49,640 Speaker 3: and wanting to get certain needs met. Looking back now, 70 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:54,120 Speaker 3: I can see that I was still healing from a 71 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:59,120 Speaker 3: relationship from somebody who I thought I was going to marry, 72 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:04,360 Speaker 3: and in ending that I still haven't healed yet. So 73 00:05:05,400 --> 00:05:08,640 Speaker 3: when I was filming, I was drinking a lot to 74 00:05:08,760 --> 00:05:13,960 Speaker 3: ease that anxiety, and in a reality TV environment, I 75 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:21,200 Speaker 3: wasn't getting that safe space for me to express my 76 00:05:21,320 --> 00:05:23,160 Speaker 3: emotions in a healthy way. 77 00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 1: It's funny because I often say the game is moving 78 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:31,599 Speaker 1: too fast, and people say to me, to you, didn't 79 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:34,800 Speaker 1: you sign up for this? And we're going to get 80 00:05:34,839 --> 00:05:39,000 Speaker 1: into that, But it's very difficult for anyone, including even 81 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 1: someone close to it like an Andy Cohen, to understand 82 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:44,719 Speaker 1: what it's like to be on a reality show. It 83 00:05:44,800 --> 00:05:46,880 Speaker 1: seems like a great idea to drink because everything's moving 84 00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:49,240 Speaker 1: so fast and there are cameras and you might say 85 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 1: something and you're in your head knowing you've said or 86 00:05:51,600 --> 00:05:54,920 Speaker 1: done something that's bad, but nobody stops down. So it's 87 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,480 Speaker 1: like when you see those fast flashes in Tokyo or something. 88 00:05:58,520 --> 00:06:00,800 Speaker 1: Everything is coming at you so quickly and it's hard 89 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 1: to stop down. And then you also don't know what's 90 00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:06,279 Speaker 1: going to be manufactured in the kitchen and served. So 91 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:10,360 Speaker 1: while what you're doing is real, it's real what's happening 92 00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:14,560 Speaker 1: in the moment, but it's a manufactured scenario because you 93 00:06:14,560 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 1: wouldn't necessarily be associating with all of these people having 94 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:20,960 Speaker 1: these conversations, and it's a circular reference. So I really 95 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 1: I understand, I mean, and your show is way crazier, 96 00:06:24,480 --> 00:06:27,760 Speaker 1: way younger, way more alcohol, So I get it. So 97 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 1: how does it feel to be able to just tell 98 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,520 Speaker 1: your story with your own voice? Right? 99 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:39,000 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, it feels like I have this opportunity 100 00:06:39,080 --> 00:06:43,280 Speaker 3: to share how much I've grown and how hard I'm 101 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:45,600 Speaker 3: trying to be a better person. 102 00:06:46,240 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 2: That person that I saw. 103 00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:52,200 Speaker 3: Watching back on my TV was someone who's completely out 104 00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:56,800 Speaker 3: of character from who I truly am, and so I 105 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,840 Speaker 3: feel like having this opportunity to share my side of 106 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 3: the story and to represent myself in a way that 107 00:07:04,240 --> 00:07:08,560 Speaker 3: I feel like is true to who I am, is 108 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:09,840 Speaker 3: all I could ever ask for. 109 00:07:11,200 --> 00:07:15,360 Speaker 1: So you were born Rachel, and then at some point 110 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,760 Speaker 1: you didn't legally, but you just wanted to be called Raquel, 111 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:23,160 Speaker 1: and now you're going back to Rachel. What is the 112 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: big problem with that? What is it? Because I see 113 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,360 Speaker 1: so many people that have stage names, or you lived 114 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:30,280 Speaker 1: in la or on a TV show. Maybe you wanted 115 00:07:30,280 --> 00:07:32,920 Speaker 1: to have a different identity. What is the big problem 116 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:34,000 Speaker 1: and what is the truth about that? 117 00:07:34,480 --> 00:07:37,760 Speaker 3: So I changed my name to Raquel in first grade. 118 00:07:37,880 --> 00:07:39,760 Speaker 3: There's a few other Rachel's in my class, and I 119 00:07:39,800 --> 00:07:43,240 Speaker 3: wanted to be special, right. I also feel like, deep 120 00:07:43,320 --> 00:07:46,679 Speaker 3: down I wasn't comfortable in my own skin. I wanted 121 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:52,320 Speaker 3: to be somebody better in my eyes, So Raquel was 122 00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:55,760 Speaker 3: a way for me to kind of be that person. 123 00:07:56,680 --> 00:08:00,320 Speaker 3: The name has stuck ever since. My friends are always 124 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:02,920 Speaker 3: called me Raquel and my family called me Rachel, so 125 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 3: I respond to both. During therapy, we were doing some 126 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:11,720 Speaker 3: inner child work where you typically write with your left hand, 127 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 3: and my therapist asked me to write my name on 128 00:08:14,800 --> 00:08:19,040 Speaker 3: the whiteboard and I wrote Rachel and she was like, interesting, 129 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 3: I see. 130 00:08:20,280 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 2: You as Rachel. 131 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:27,440 Speaker 3: To your core, You're going by Raquel, which is okay, 132 00:08:27,520 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 3: but it's not true to who you are. 133 00:08:29,760 --> 00:08:31,520 Speaker 2: It's a wall that you have. 134 00:08:31,560 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 3: A persona it's I mean, maybe I feel like most 135 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:42,440 Speaker 3: of my life I've been afraid. I've had I've struggled 136 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:46,439 Speaker 3: with social anxiety, I've struggled with judgment from other people. 137 00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 3: So having a fear of vulnerability makes sense. So I'm 138 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:55,960 Speaker 3: really just trying to come back to my roots. And 139 00:08:56,480 --> 00:09:00,000 Speaker 3: I am introducing myself as Rachel Nice. 140 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:04,320 Speaker 1: So nice, Okay, Well, welcome Rachel. I want to know 141 00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:10,200 Speaker 1: about your family, like who got you through this? And well, actually, first, 142 00:09:10,400 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: are you close with your family? Have you always been 143 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:13,120 Speaker 1: close with your family? 144 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 3: Yeah? I have. Yeah, I'm very close with my family. 145 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:23,079 Speaker 3: My parents are still married and we have. 146 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:30,120 Speaker 2: A really tight knit family. You know, my mom is 147 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,200 Speaker 2: a little bit she's a mama bear. 148 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:37,840 Speaker 3: She's very torn up about this situation, and she says 149 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,920 Speaker 3: that she relates to you a lot. Whatever you're saying online. 150 00:09:40,920 --> 00:09:42,880 Speaker 3: She's like, yeah, Bethany gets it, you know. 151 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:45,079 Speaker 1: So it's. 152 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really hard for her, and I feel that 153 00:09:50,080 --> 00:09:56,360 Speaker 3: pain for her because I put our family in this situation. 154 00:09:56,559 --> 00:10:03,440 Speaker 3: That's a very hard dynamic to navigate. But she's been 155 00:10:03,480 --> 00:10:12,120 Speaker 3: so supportive and both my parents have been They were 156 00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 3: able to make this treatment happen for me, and I'm 157 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:20,280 Speaker 3: so blessed that I had that opportunity to go and 158 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:25,040 Speaker 3: to extend into ninety days because I knew I wasn't 159 00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,560 Speaker 3: ready to leave yet. I knew I had more work 160 00:10:27,600 --> 00:10:33,280 Speaker 3: to do, and I just feel so lucky that I 161 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:38,000 Speaker 3: was able to learn about myself at such a young age. 162 00:10:38,679 --> 00:10:42,400 Speaker 1: In retrospect, Wow, that's so that's very It's so true. 163 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:44,560 Speaker 1: You could be my daughter. I've thought about that many 164 00:10:44,679 --> 00:10:47,880 Speaker 1: times in watching the reunion, which we're going to get into, 165 00:10:48,240 --> 00:10:51,240 Speaker 1: and I thought about, I would probably be in jail 166 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:55,360 Speaker 1: for murder if I were your mom, Like I was 167 00:10:55,400 --> 00:10:59,160 Speaker 1: wondering if you were feeling guilty for quote unquote putting 168 00:10:59,160 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 1: them through this. Absolutely, yeah, because that probably took a 169 00:11:03,400 --> 00:11:06,720 Speaker 1: toll on your whole family. And what about your childhood 170 00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:11,439 Speaker 1: friends and what's been that like, like your whole real infrastructure. 171 00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:15,200 Speaker 3: My childhood friends are the only people that I can 172 00:11:15,679 --> 00:11:20,720 Speaker 3: talk to and trust. Unfortunately, there have been so many 173 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:27,079 Speaker 3: betrayals of friendships who I trusted and disclosed confidential information 174 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:31,800 Speaker 3: to thinking that they would hold that value of keeping 175 00:11:32,679 --> 00:11:37,360 Speaker 3: it in the vaults, and then they turn around and 176 00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 3: disclosed those things to the press. And it's been really 177 00:11:42,840 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 3: difficult to accept that I don't have friends in LA anymore. 178 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:49,960 Speaker 1: Has anyone defended you. 179 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:54,080 Speaker 3: There's a few people that have, but most of the 180 00:11:54,160 --> 00:11:59,679 Speaker 3: people that weren't posting negative things online were getting harassed 181 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:03,120 Speaker 3: to you post something. And one of my friends reached 182 00:12:03,120 --> 00:12:05,679 Speaker 3: out and said, I'm so sorry, I have to unfollow 183 00:12:05,720 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 3: you because I'm getting such hate for even following you. 184 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 1: Wow. Okay, So let me just read really quickly or 185 00:12:14,520 --> 00:12:18,120 Speaker 1: Instagram apology. You said, I want to apologize my actions 186 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 1: and my choices, foremost to Arianna and to my friends 187 00:12:20,800 --> 00:12:23,640 Speaker 1: and the fans so invested in our relationships. There's no excuse. 188 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 1: I'm not a victim. I must own my actions, and 189 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:28,960 Speaker 1: I deeply regret hurting Ariana. In the time since this 190 00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 1: came to light, I'm reflecting on my choices, speaking to 191 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,760 Speaker 1: a counselor, and I'm learning things about myself, such as 192 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:37,920 Speaker 1: my patterns of codependency and addiction to being and feeling loved. 193 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:42,000 Speaker 1: You said that you sought validation through intimate connections and 194 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 1: that you've began counseling, and kind of what you said before. 195 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:50,200 Speaker 1: So was this whole apology? Is this whole apology as 196 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,439 Speaker 1: accurate now coming out of treatment as it was then 197 00:12:52,520 --> 00:12:55,120 Speaker 1: did you feel like you had to say this because 198 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:59,520 Speaker 1: the you just had to say something? And is this 199 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:02,400 Speaker 1: a full authentic apology based on where you are now? 200 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:05,559 Speaker 3: Yes, I still stand by that apology. 201 00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 2: It is. 202 00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:12,680 Speaker 3: Full circle in a way, talking about that need to 203 00:13:12,720 --> 00:13:17,840 Speaker 3: be validated and that wanting to be loved there it 204 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:21,559 Speaker 3: took me a while to accept, but I learned about 205 00:13:21,640 --> 00:13:25,080 Speaker 3: love addiction, and it's a real thing. It's where you 206 00:13:25,320 --> 00:13:28,319 Speaker 3: confuse intensity for intimacy. 207 00:13:28,600 --> 00:13:31,400 Speaker 1: The pheromones and the oxytocin and all those things that 208 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,680 Speaker 1: I called oxytosin that yeah. 209 00:13:33,320 --> 00:13:36,880 Speaker 3: And those chemical changes in the brain are the same 210 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,640 Speaker 3: chemical changes that happens when you take drugs. So it 211 00:13:40,720 --> 00:13:46,760 Speaker 3: is addictive and it explains why I couldn't stop seeing 212 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:52,440 Speaker 3: this person, But it also doesn't excuse the fact that 213 00:13:52,480 --> 00:13:53,080 Speaker 3: it happened. 214 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,040 Speaker 2: But now I know better, and. 215 00:13:56,040 --> 00:14:01,440 Speaker 1: Also it went okay. So I I remember planning a 216 00:14:01,440 --> 00:14:04,560 Speaker 1: wedding on a reality television show, and I don't know 217 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 1: that I would have done that if I weren't on 218 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:10,560 Speaker 1: a reality television show. Everything's bigger, Like I said, the 219 00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,960 Speaker 1: train is moving, the train has left the station, and 220 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:15,760 Speaker 1: everybody's talking to you, and there's so much messaging. So 221 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 1: you're in this flurry and we'll get into this, but 222 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:22,760 Speaker 1: it feels like that environment that you were in celebrates 223 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:27,120 Speaker 1: affairs and scandal. It seems like that show is thriving 224 00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,880 Speaker 1: because of that. So it seems like you're in a 225 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:32,320 Speaker 1: world where that's all kind of It's bad in normal life, 226 00:14:32,400 --> 00:14:35,360 Speaker 1: but there with producers and everybody, that's good. An affair 227 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 1: is great for TV. 228 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:41,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, and with the cast, it's almost been normalized in 229 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 3: a way. And so as I'm looking up to my 230 00:14:45,120 --> 00:14:49,560 Speaker 3: fellow cast members and seeing them as role models and 231 00:14:49,640 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 3: like how to make a good reality TV show because 232 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:58,080 Speaker 3: I want to do my job, Well, it's uncanny to 233 00:14:58,160 --> 00:15:04,480 Speaker 3: see the I hate that this specific affair brought up 234 00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:09,240 Speaker 3: in people when almost every single one of the cast 235 00:15:09,280 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 3: members have. 236 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:12,840 Speaker 2: Been in an affair. 237 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:16,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, it just hit sideways somehow that you were in 238 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:19,400 Speaker 1: the perfect storm. And I'm not saying that you weren't responsible, 239 00:15:20,640 --> 00:15:24,400 Speaker 1: and you're accepting I think at least partial responsibility. But 240 00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: there's a lot going on. So I want to just 241 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:29,680 Speaker 1: talk about the facility before we get into the show. 242 00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:34,560 Speaker 1: So what happens. We can get into the reunion after, 243 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:37,520 Speaker 1: but you leave a reunion and then what happens you 244 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,760 Speaker 1: walk out of this reunion that I have since seen? 245 00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,400 Speaker 1: How do you get into a facility and how does 246 00:15:42,440 --> 00:15:43,280 Speaker 1: this all transpire? 247 00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:46,720 Speaker 3: So I walked out of the reunion. There was a 248 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:50,600 Speaker 3: few days before I did my final interview, which is 249 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:54,760 Speaker 3: that five minute at the end of season ten where 250 00:15:54,760 --> 00:15:59,680 Speaker 3: I break down. And you know, that was really difficult 251 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:04,520 Speaker 3: for me because I was committed to keeping these secrets 252 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:09,479 Speaker 3: and I felt like I betrayed all of my friendships 253 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:16,800 Speaker 3: and relationships with everyone except for Tom, and by going 254 00:16:16,840 --> 00:16:20,160 Speaker 3: behind his back, that would be the ultimate betrayal in 255 00:16:20,360 --> 00:16:22,000 Speaker 3: my eyes from my perspective. 256 00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,600 Speaker 1: So you mean you had alienated everyone and then you 257 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:26,680 Speaker 1: were going to alienate him? 258 00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:30,360 Speaker 3: Yes, okay, So it's really like that fear of abandonment. 259 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:37,000 Speaker 3: It was really hard for me to, you know, decide, 260 00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:41,040 Speaker 3: like am I am I going to take this story 261 00:16:41,080 --> 00:16:44,400 Speaker 3: to the grave when most people already are assuming the 262 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:47,480 Speaker 3: worst anyway? Or am I going to own up to 263 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:52,200 Speaker 3: my actions and be honest and really take accountability. And 264 00:16:52,640 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 3: in that moment, I wasn't even able to be fully 265 00:16:56,080 --> 00:17:02,000 Speaker 3: honest because I was still keeping secrets for people who 266 00:17:02,200 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 3: specifically requested for me to like keep it on the 267 00:17:05,440 --> 00:17:09,160 Speaker 3: down low, especially going to visit his family and his 268 00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:10,639 Speaker 3: friends out in Saint Louis. 269 00:17:11,840 --> 00:17:17,160 Speaker 2: So it really just showed me that. 270 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 3: Honesty is one of my core values that I refuse 271 00:17:23,840 --> 00:17:26,520 Speaker 3: to compromise any longer. 272 00:17:27,680 --> 00:17:31,879 Speaker 1: Okay, so that's Rachel talking now, because there was some 273 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:35,280 Speaker 1: dishonesty from your previous action. So this is sort of 274 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,359 Speaker 1: your saying, like, that's the main tenant now going forward, 275 00:17:38,440 --> 00:17:41,280 Speaker 1: like honesty will not be compromised. Correct, And there are 276 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 1: many different reasons for why you were dishonest. You're taking accountability, 277 00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:49,800 Speaker 1: but there also were many ingredients that contributed to Okay, well, 278 00:17:49,840 --> 00:18:04,000 Speaker 1: we're definitely going to talk about it. Oh, so what 279 00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:07,879 Speaker 1: happened at the facility? Like you, so, how do you 280 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:10,080 Speaker 1: get to the facility? You go do that? Didn't interview? 281 00:18:10,080 --> 00:18:11,880 Speaker 1: And then how do we get to the facility? What 282 00:18:11,920 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 1: was that decision? Like who made it? And then. 283 00:18:16,359 --> 00:18:20,639 Speaker 3: It was a really scary decision to make because I 284 00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:24,080 Speaker 3: knew I needed help, but I didn't know what to 285 00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:27,919 Speaker 3: expect going in. I had the option to go straight 286 00:18:27,960 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 3: into the treatment facility before the reunion, but I decided 287 00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:38,520 Speaker 3: to commit to my work obligation and go back and film. 288 00:18:40,040 --> 00:18:45,680 Speaker 3: But once I filmed the reunion and did that final interview. 289 00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:50,280 Speaker 3: I took a flight to Phoenix and went straight to 290 00:18:50,520 --> 00:18:51,600 Speaker 3: the treatment center. 291 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:55,160 Speaker 2: They took my. 292 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:58,760 Speaker 3: Phone, they searched my bags for anything that they needed 293 00:18:58,760 --> 00:19:03,720 Speaker 3: to confiscate, and I was kind of thrown into this 294 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:08,080 Speaker 3: place where it was a lot of new faces, and 295 00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:10,879 Speaker 3: I was already caring so much shame that it was 296 00:19:11,320 --> 00:19:17,000 Speaker 3: difficult for me to be like, Hi, I'm Raquel. But 297 00:19:17,560 --> 00:19:19,880 Speaker 3: as time went on, I was able to warm up 298 00:19:20,040 --> 00:19:25,560 Speaker 3: and really share my story in an authentic, honest way, 299 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:32,280 Speaker 3: and I was met with grace and compassion from my peers. 300 00:19:33,080 --> 00:19:35,359 Speaker 3: And a big part of my journey is learning to 301 00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:38,320 Speaker 3: be compassionate with myself as well. 302 00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:42,080 Speaker 1: So do you forgive yourself? Yeah? 303 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 2: I do. 304 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:50,439 Speaker 1: Okay, So now we're onto the show, which I you 305 00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,800 Speaker 1: know what, First of all, what made you talk to me? 306 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,639 Speaker 1: I mean, everybody I would assume want to talk to 307 00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:57,960 Speaker 1: you haven't spoken in months. We don't know each other, 308 00:19:58,560 --> 00:20:02,000 Speaker 1: and that take some blind faith, some trust. 309 00:20:02,040 --> 00:20:05,639 Speaker 2: So why me, Bethany? You are a force to be 310 00:20:05,760 --> 00:20:06,240 Speaker 2: reckoned with. 311 00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 3: And I just heard what you were saying on TikTok 312 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:16,160 Speaker 3: and using my example as using my case as an 313 00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 3: example of exploitation and the way that the network is 314 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:25,080 Speaker 3: running to the bank, like laughing, running to the bank 315 00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,439 Speaker 3: with this scandal, and I haven't seen a single penny. 316 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:36,359 Speaker 3: So in that way, I feel like, I it's not fair, 317 00:20:36,680 --> 00:20:39,480 Speaker 3: and I feel like a toddler saying it's not fair, 318 00:20:39,840 --> 00:20:42,880 Speaker 3: but it really isn't. And I feel like I've been 319 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:46,840 Speaker 3: portrayed as the ultimate villain my mistakes that I made 320 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:51,439 Speaker 3: on camera Live on Forever, and you mentioned something about 321 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:56,360 Speaker 3: the addiction of doing reality TV and the way that 322 00:20:56,440 --> 00:20:59,840 Speaker 3: they always dingle that care in front of you, like, well, 323 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,320 Speaker 3: you need to tell your side of the story otherwise 324 00:21:02,359 --> 00:21:05,560 Speaker 3: it's going to be written for you, and that's terrifying. 325 00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,560 Speaker 3: So I almost went back because of that. 326 00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,600 Speaker 1: What happens is to give people inside baseball, and I 327 00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:16,919 Speaker 1: have institutional knowledge of fifteen years, what happens is somebody 328 00:21:16,920 --> 00:21:19,000 Speaker 1: could have a great season and everyone loves them, and 329 00:21:19,040 --> 00:21:21,320 Speaker 1: you're feeding off of that. That's the drug, that's the heroine. 330 00:21:21,320 --> 00:21:23,679 Speaker 1: You've taken the drug, you got the hit, and then 331 00:21:23,720 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 1: all of a sudden something happens and the pendulum swings. 332 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:29,320 Speaker 1: Because I always say it's a zero sum game. Someone's 333 00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:33,520 Speaker 1: always winning, someone's always losing. Someone's always killing, someone's always 334 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,040 Speaker 1: being killed. The people that end up in the middle 335 00:21:36,800 --> 00:21:39,240 Speaker 1: get fired or or friends. The people that are in 336 00:21:39,240 --> 00:21:41,160 Speaker 1: the middle under the radar. You got to be getting 337 00:21:41,240 --> 00:21:47,120 Speaker 1: killed or killing somebody. So if you are winning, you're 338 00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,240 Speaker 1: on top of the world and it seems great, and 339 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:51,080 Speaker 1: then all of a sudden you go to the bottom. 340 00:21:51,640 --> 00:21:55,199 Speaker 1: And that's like an addict who hits rock bottom. And 341 00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:56,439 Speaker 1: what do they want to do. They want to take 342 00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 1: another hit. And the producers are there, and this is 343 00:21:58,760 --> 00:22:02,080 Speaker 1: a fact to tell you, you know why you should go back. 344 00:22:02,160 --> 00:22:05,399 Speaker 1: Don't let them tell your story for you. You get to 345 00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:07,439 Speaker 1: go back and you'll show them all next season. And 346 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,639 Speaker 1: that's how they get people who are miserable and on 347 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:13,800 Speaker 1: antidepressants and anti anxiety medication to go back in not 348 00:22:13,960 --> 00:22:16,760 Speaker 1: to mention, many people ruin their reputations, and this is 349 00:22:16,800 --> 00:22:19,200 Speaker 1: the only place that we'll have them. You have fifty 350 00:22:19,240 --> 00:22:21,640 Speaker 1: five sixty year old women who couldn't really work anywhere 351 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:25,480 Speaker 1: else much less, have ruined their reputations. So this is 352 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:27,920 Speaker 1: a place that will take you back. And because if 353 00:22:27,920 --> 00:22:30,640 Speaker 1: you do drugs or get drunk or having an a fair, 354 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:36,600 Speaker 1: you get paid more. You're celebrated, so it's about this institution, 355 00:22:36,760 --> 00:22:40,040 Speaker 1: this system that I've been talking and I really do 356 00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,720 Speaker 1: understand what you're saying, and it occurs to me that 357 00:22:44,160 --> 00:22:49,000 Speaker 1: you're the villain, Arianna is the hero. Tom is another 358 00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:51,240 Speaker 1: character who doesn't take the hit as much as you 359 00:22:51,640 --> 00:22:54,840 Speaker 1: in this scand of all, but you're right, the realm 360 00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:57,480 Speaker 1: is making a lot of money. And now it took 361 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:00,680 Speaker 1: three of you in a recipe to create that scandal 362 00:23:01,160 --> 00:23:04,439 Speaker 1: as people who are partially produced. Let's just say that 363 00:23:04,560 --> 00:23:07,960 Speaker 1: it's real in a very unreal circumstance and also produced. 364 00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:11,639 Speaker 1: So now you have one of the three characters that 365 00:23:12,280 --> 00:23:15,040 Speaker 1: can't even afford to pay for your treatment that you 366 00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:19,160 Speaker 1: just went through, right, because it's my understanding that you 367 00:23:19,240 --> 00:23:21,840 Speaker 1: get paid in a year less than my interns get paid. 368 00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:29,520 Speaker 3: Really yeah, yeah, And one of the things that producers 369 00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:34,000 Speaker 3: also told me is that you get paid based off 370 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 3: of your performance from the season prior, so that already 371 00:23:38,560 --> 00:23:42,160 Speaker 3: set me up to want to perform well. Going into 372 00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:44,440 Speaker 3: season ten, I was like, Okay, if this could be 373 00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:48,119 Speaker 3: my season, I could really stand out and I'm single 374 00:23:48,160 --> 00:23:53,040 Speaker 3: for the first time, like I want to embrace that, and. 375 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:56,040 Speaker 2: I took direction. 376 00:23:56,240 --> 00:24:00,440 Speaker 1: Well, yeah, you don't ever know how you're doing game, 377 00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:03,640 Speaker 1: because the producer is telling both people, the person killing 378 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,480 Speaker 1: and being killed that they're doing a great job. So 379 00:24:05,520 --> 00:24:07,760 Speaker 1: you never know until what comes out of the oven. Yeah, 380 00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:12,400 Speaker 1: I mean, so that talking about the show, I really 381 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:16,920 Speaker 1: want to talk about let's be really honest about the relationships. 382 00:24:17,000 --> 00:24:22,560 Speaker 1: So I have made relationships on reality television and it's 383 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:26,639 Speaker 1: not a healthy place to nurture a relationship. It's not 384 00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,720 Speaker 1: a place to bring a relationship in, which is why 385 00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,000 Speaker 1: many marriages have failed. And it's not I'm not saying 386 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:34,720 Speaker 1: it's because of reality TV, but it certainly hasn't helped. 387 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:39,200 Speaker 1: And then friendships you see very unlikely friendships, and the Housewives, 388 00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:42,239 Speaker 1: you'd see someone like Carol Radziwill and Tinsley Mortimer or 389 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:47,919 Speaker 1: Jill Zarn and Kelly Bensone, very unlikely friendships because you 390 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,439 Speaker 1: need alliances. It started back with Survivor. So you have 391 00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:53,840 Speaker 1: these friendships and they do seem and feel real, and 392 00:24:53,880 --> 00:24:56,960 Speaker 1: they kind of are real because you're really connecting and 393 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,720 Speaker 1: you're having fun, and you're also have someone to talk 394 00:24:59,760 --> 00:25:01,639 Speaker 1: to this weird thing that no one else in the 395 00:25:01,640 --> 00:25:03,880 Speaker 1: world and your childhood friends would never understand. So it's 396 00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 1: all you talk about you're on a loop and you 397 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:08,160 Speaker 1: think the whole world is like this, and the whole 398 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,439 Speaker 1: world knows what's going on, And so I ask you 399 00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:16,280 Speaker 1: about this friendship, all of the friendships, and then I 400 00:25:16,280 --> 00:25:19,720 Speaker 1: guess the friendship with Arianna because being your best friend 401 00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,119 Speaker 1: is coming into question, and that's you know, the world 402 00:25:22,160 --> 00:25:27,040 Speaker 1: thinks you slept with your best friend's boyfriend of ten years. 403 00:25:27,119 --> 00:25:29,800 Speaker 3: Yes, that is the narrative that is being written for me. 404 00:25:30,359 --> 00:25:34,440 Speaker 3: It is more salacious that way. Arianna and I were 405 00:25:34,480 --> 00:25:41,520 Speaker 3: not best friends. We were acquaintances who became friends through 406 00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:46,520 Speaker 3: the show. She's always been somebody who's been very sweet 407 00:25:46,560 --> 00:25:50,280 Speaker 3: to me. She would stand up for me and encourage 408 00:25:50,359 --> 00:25:53,000 Speaker 3: me to pursue whatever I was. 409 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,560 Speaker 1: I don't know she's doing. 410 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, she would encourage me to pursue whatever I was pursuing. 411 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,520 Speaker 2: And that was all great. 412 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,199 Speaker 3: But we never had like a deep conversation that I 413 00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:12,320 Speaker 3: would have with a best friend. And it's painful to 414 00:26:12,359 --> 00:26:15,720 Speaker 3: think that I hurt her in this way because that 415 00:26:15,840 --> 00:26:19,960 Speaker 3: wasn't my intention. I wasn't trying to be a malicious person. 416 00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,280 Speaker 3: I just got wrapped up in this and wasn't thinking clearly. 417 00:26:27,280 --> 00:26:33,639 Speaker 3: But we were not best friends. The alliances who I 418 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,600 Speaker 3: called these people my friends because I really did believe 419 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:37,639 Speaker 3: that they were my friends. 420 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:40,479 Speaker 1: It feels real and it kind of is real in 421 00:26:40,520 --> 00:26:41,240 Speaker 1: that environment. 422 00:26:41,359 --> 00:26:47,359 Speaker 3: Yes, so Sheena was one of my best friends. She 423 00:26:48,560 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 3: offered her apartment to me to stay in while I 424 00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:56,040 Speaker 3: was figuring out my next moves after breaking up with James. 425 00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:00,320 Speaker 3: She kept this apartment in LA but wasn't living it 426 00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:04,399 Speaker 3: because she was living down in San Diego. But she 427 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:08,040 Speaker 3: started creating this narrative that she was a sister I 428 00:27:08,080 --> 00:27:10,720 Speaker 3: never had, and the mother like a mother to me, 429 00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:14,280 Speaker 3: and that she gave me a place to live when 430 00:27:14,280 --> 00:27:19,480 Speaker 3: nobody else would, you know, put me up anywhere, and 431 00:27:19,800 --> 00:27:22,000 Speaker 3: that I didn't pay rent, which is not true. 432 00:27:22,080 --> 00:27:22,960 Speaker 2: I did pay rent. 433 00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:26,760 Speaker 3: And I also cat sat for her cat who was 434 00:27:26,840 --> 00:27:30,680 Speaker 3: pumped with mercury for a treatment. She couldn't be near 435 00:27:30,720 --> 00:27:34,560 Speaker 3: the cat because she was breastfeeding for her daughter. And 436 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:40,440 Speaker 3: I also did her podcasts, and she said the one 437 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:44,000 Speaker 3: podcast that I did with her talking about my breakup 438 00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:48,080 Speaker 3: with James was the number one most listened to podcast. 439 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,520 Speaker 2: So I know that. 440 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,840 Speaker 3: It's just unfortunate that she's trying to create this narrative 441 00:27:56,960 --> 00:28:00,840 Speaker 3: that I've taken advantage of her when I feel like 442 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:04,960 Speaker 3: I did contribute in a way that would really. 443 00:28:05,240 --> 00:28:07,359 Speaker 1: You're saying, you're saying it was a quid pro quote. 444 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:11,960 Speaker 1: It was a mutual beneficial, mutually beneficial relationship within within 445 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:16,080 Speaker 1: a television show, which is all murky anyway, right, So 446 00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:20,600 Speaker 1: how sorry are you to Arianna? And you know, do 447 00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:22,520 Speaker 1: you what do you? What do you make of all 448 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:25,479 Speaker 1: of that? Is she? Do you think she'll ever forgive you? 449 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:30,280 Speaker 1: Do you care about that? Where are you with that part? 450 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:34,320 Speaker 3: I don't expect her to forgive me. I think once 451 00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:38,240 Speaker 3: trust is broken with somebody from personal experience, it's really 452 00:28:38,280 --> 00:28:42,240 Speaker 3: hard to come back from that. And the fact that 453 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,120 Speaker 3: I was able to keep those secrets from her, I 454 00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:49,040 Speaker 3: don't I don't expect her to ever forgive me, but 455 00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:54,840 Speaker 3: I you know, I am remorseful. I do recognize that 456 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:58,280 Speaker 3: I've caused her a lot of pain. And there was 457 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:06,360 Speaker 3: a lot of secrecy deception because although I wasn't hanging 458 00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:10,520 Speaker 3: out with Arianna off camera to begin with, I did 459 00:29:10,600 --> 00:29:14,160 Speaker 3: start hanging out with her in a group setting because 460 00:29:14,200 --> 00:29:17,480 Speaker 3: Tom would always invite me out. So it did seem 461 00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:21,080 Speaker 3: like we were close friends from the outside looking in, 462 00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:27,360 Speaker 3: But in those situations. I was hanging out with Tom 463 00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:28,880 Speaker 3: more than I was hanging out with her. 464 00:29:30,000 --> 00:29:32,360 Speaker 1: So did you spend time Did you ever spend time 465 00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:34,640 Speaker 1: with Ariana off camera and away from the show. 466 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:36,760 Speaker 2: No, not just us together? 467 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:41,520 Speaker 1: Never? No, Wow, that's something I mean. Yeah, you definitely 468 00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:45,440 Speaker 1: would have seen your best friend, Yeah, off camera, but 469 00:29:45,480 --> 00:29:46,600 Speaker 1: a whole life, like. 470 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,840 Speaker 3: I don't know, go out to dinner just the two 471 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:53,040 Speaker 3: of you, or shopping or punch. 472 00:29:52,960 --> 00:30:09,600 Speaker 1: No, yes, okay, So how much do you think their 473 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:13,320 Speaker 1: relationship is real Tom and Ariana? 474 00:30:14,080 --> 00:30:17,720 Speaker 2: I honestly, I don't know. 475 00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:23,400 Speaker 3: I know I would not be involved in this a 476 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:28,320 Speaker 3: fair secrecy type of situation if I thought that there 477 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:33,960 Speaker 3: was longevity in this relationship between Tom and Ariana. The 478 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:38,240 Speaker 3: people closest to them could see that their relationship hasn't 479 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:45,640 Speaker 3: been what they portray on camera. And Tom always told me, like, 480 00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:50,200 Speaker 3: they're a brand, they're an image. They work together to 481 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:55,000 Speaker 3: make brand deals, and they are business partners. 482 00:30:56,440 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 1: Are they business partners literally or just you mean in 483 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:00,960 Speaker 1: the show being like a duo on the show. 484 00:31:01,120 --> 00:31:04,560 Speaker 3: They're a duo on the show, and they utilize that 485 00:31:04,840 --> 00:31:07,920 Speaker 3: for the success of their brand or image. 486 00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,640 Speaker 1: Got it? And do they live together now? Still? 487 00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:13,080 Speaker 2: They do still live together. 488 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,200 Speaker 1: I don't you have to explain that to me. You 489 00:31:16,280 --> 00:31:19,239 Speaker 1: don't know, but I don't understand. How does America know that? 490 00:31:19,720 --> 00:31:23,480 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, America does know that, and people are confused 491 00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:26,120 Speaker 3: as to why they're still living together. I actually gave 492 00:31:26,280 --> 00:31:29,680 Speaker 3: Tom the key to my apartment while I was away 493 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:34,240 Speaker 3: at the Meadows, and he had a free place to 494 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:37,560 Speaker 3: stay and chose to stay in the house with Arianna. 495 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:40,600 Speaker 1: I mean they both can afford a place or go 496 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:41,240 Speaker 1: rent a place. 497 00:31:41,400 --> 00:31:43,280 Speaker 2: I I don't know. 498 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:46,360 Speaker 3: I know that a lot of his money was wrapped 499 00:31:46,440 --> 00:31:51,720 Speaker 3: up in the bar shorts and Sandy's, and I know 500 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:55,080 Speaker 3: that Arianna has been doing a lot of brand deals. Yeah, 501 00:31:55,320 --> 00:31:58,080 Speaker 3: I don't know their situation, but I do know that 502 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,520 Speaker 3: it really isn't that so prising that they're living together 503 00:32:01,640 --> 00:32:04,880 Speaker 3: in my eyes, because it's been this way. They haven't 504 00:32:04,920 --> 00:32:09,560 Speaker 3: been an authentic couple romantic. 505 00:32:10,360 --> 00:32:13,200 Speaker 1: So it doesn't matter. So their roommates and it doesn't matter, 506 00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,200 Speaker 1: it doesn't it's not as deep, and so the breakup 507 00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:19,320 Speaker 1: isn't as deep either. And now seeing that she's doing 508 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:22,600 Speaker 1: millions of dollars of deals, so it takes three to 509 00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:27,600 Speaker 1: tango and scandaal And how does it, honestly feel seeing 510 00:32:27,720 --> 00:32:31,320 Speaker 1: that she's doing all of these deals and is America's 511 00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:35,320 Speaker 1: sweetheart and all these appearances and doing the talk show 512 00:32:35,360 --> 00:32:36,440 Speaker 1: circuit and things like. 513 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:40,200 Speaker 3: That, part of me says, good for you, because take 514 00:32:40,200 --> 00:32:43,720 Speaker 3: advantage of these opportunities while they come your way. 515 00:32:44,840 --> 00:32:49,280 Speaker 2: But it is hurtful to me just to think that. 516 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:56,120 Speaker 3: My nature is very kind and forgiving and understanding of 517 00:32:56,160 --> 00:32:59,520 Speaker 3: other people. So the concept of me being the ultimate 518 00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:07,160 Speaker 3: reality TV villain just blows my mind. And the way 519 00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:10,360 Speaker 3: that she spoke to me at the reunion, I feel 520 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,760 Speaker 3: like it was uncalled for. 521 00:33:14,360 --> 00:33:19,040 Speaker 1: It was too far. Yeah, yeah, I mean the thing is, 522 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:22,040 Speaker 1: I think, and we're gonna get into the reunion because 523 00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:26,040 Speaker 1: that's where I really became invested in this as a concept, 524 00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:31,720 Speaker 1: and I'm speechless about the reunion. But what I wanted 525 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,920 Speaker 1: to ask you was, is it more don't hate the player? 526 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,200 Speaker 1: Hate the game? Like you don't blame all of the 527 00:33:38,240 --> 00:33:41,920 Speaker 1: warriors like yourself, who are there to get ratings and 528 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,080 Speaker 1: to kill people or be killed, and to cheat and 529 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,160 Speaker 1: to drink and to have affairs and think it's real 530 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,840 Speaker 1: and normal because that's this landscape. But you blame the game. 531 00:33:51,120 --> 00:33:54,280 Speaker 3: Is that how you feel I feel like I just 532 00:33:54,320 --> 00:33:57,000 Speaker 3: got caught up in something that is way too big 533 00:33:57,040 --> 00:33:59,280 Speaker 3: for me to handle, and I'm just trying to survive. 534 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:04,959 Speaker 3: So I don't know who people should hate. That's up 535 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:06,360 Speaker 3: to their discretion. 536 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:09,080 Speaker 1: But I oh, I didn't mean literally. I meant like right, 537 00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:09,839 Speaker 1: But I mean. 538 00:34:09,960 --> 00:34:13,480 Speaker 3: I think like being knowledgeable on all the factors that 539 00:34:13,560 --> 00:34:17,480 Speaker 3: play into reality TV is important because there's so much 540 00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:21,839 Speaker 3: that is brushed, brushed under the rug and hidden from 541 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:26,120 Speaker 3: the viewers that it's easy to consume this narrative that's 542 00:34:26,200 --> 00:34:27,000 Speaker 3: being thrown at you. 543 00:34:28,280 --> 00:34:33,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, so I want to talk about this tape this 544 00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:37,040 Speaker 1: face time. I can't imagine what your parents went through 545 00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:42,080 Speaker 1: about that. There's a video, so your facetiming Tom. You're 546 00:34:42,120 --> 00:34:44,520 Speaker 1: in New York and Tom is in LA and you're 547 00:34:45,840 --> 00:34:49,000 Speaker 1: masturbating and he's recording you, and you don't know that 548 00:34:49,040 --> 00:34:54,799 Speaker 1: you're being recorded, correct, Okay, And then that tell me 549 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,280 Speaker 1: what happened with this video that I now know about. 550 00:34:57,280 --> 00:34:58,920 Speaker 1: So I don't understand what happened. 551 00:34:59,440 --> 00:35:01,840 Speaker 3: I was in New New York for Watch What Happens 552 00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:06,600 Speaker 3: Live the night before All of our the night before 553 00:35:06,800 --> 00:35:10,080 Speaker 3: our big press day and the live interview with Andy Cohen. 554 00:35:10,960 --> 00:35:16,440 Speaker 3: I decided to be adventurous and look at the adult 555 00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:20,280 Speaker 3: section on the TV, and Tom and I FaceTime a lot, 556 00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:24,520 Speaker 3: so it turned into something more of an intimate face time. 557 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:33,720 Speaker 3: I expected to have privacy in that moment, so that happened. 558 00:35:35,360 --> 00:35:38,919 Speaker 3: The entire day is a success in my eyes. And 559 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:44,879 Speaker 3: I was celebrating with Shena after watch What Happens Live, 560 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:48,799 Speaker 3: and I looked at my hairstylist and I was like, 561 00:35:49,560 --> 00:35:54,160 Speaker 3: you know what, I'm ready for anything, whatever happens. I 562 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:57,080 Speaker 3: feel like I just leveled up and I'm killing it 563 00:35:57,160 --> 00:36:02,000 Speaker 3: and I can handle anything. Literally five minutes later, I 564 00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:07,719 Speaker 3: get a text from Ariana sending me two screen recording, 565 00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:13,319 Speaker 3: two screen recorded videos and a text that said you're 566 00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 3: dead to me, And that's how I knew that she 567 00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:22,720 Speaker 3: knew what day was that this was March first. 568 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:27,200 Speaker 1: Of twenty twenty three, okay, yes, and so that's like 569 00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:28,320 Speaker 1: five months ago, okay. 570 00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:32,160 Speaker 3: And then also that's how I found out that I 571 00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:40,120 Speaker 3: had been recorded without my consent, So of course all 572 00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:45,320 Speaker 3: of these emotions came flooded, flooding over me. She called 573 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:51,920 Speaker 3: me and she was yelling at me and begged to 574 00:36:52,000 --> 00:36:53,320 Speaker 3: know when it first started. 575 00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,800 Speaker 1: Was she being filmed? When she asked that no, okay. 576 00:36:56,600 --> 00:36:59,320 Speaker 3: This was all off camera. We had already wrapped filming, 577 00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:07,240 Speaker 3: and because she had that video, I was scared for 578 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:12,880 Speaker 3: you know, I was scared that it was gonna be leaked. 579 00:37:13,760 --> 00:37:15,560 Speaker 1: And it was a graphic like you could see. 580 00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:18,520 Speaker 3: I mean, it was It's not something that I would 581 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:21,000 Speaker 3: ever want my grandma to see you now, yeah, right, 582 00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:27,239 Speaker 3: or your kids, yeah exactly. So I felt pressured in 583 00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:32,799 Speaker 3: that moment. And one of the reasons why, one of 584 00:37:32,840 --> 00:37:35,160 Speaker 3: the reasons why it went on for so long this 585 00:37:35,239 --> 00:37:38,799 Speaker 3: affair is because Tom and I couldn't come to a 586 00:37:39,280 --> 00:37:43,160 Speaker 3: resolution on the timeline of it all because Tom didn't 587 00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,640 Speaker 3: want Ariana to know how long it actually had been 588 00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:49,720 Speaker 3: going on and felt like it would hurt her more 589 00:37:49,760 --> 00:37:55,359 Speaker 3: if she knew that this happened during the summer. This 590 00:37:55,440 --> 00:37:58,359 Speaker 3: was summer of twenty twenty two. Oh so this went 591 00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:01,719 Speaker 3: on for a while seven month? Oh okay, yeah, So 592 00:38:01,840 --> 00:38:05,200 Speaker 3: I told she begged to know. I told Ariana that 593 00:38:05,320 --> 00:38:10,160 Speaker 3: it had been happening for seven months, and she flipped out. 594 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:17,799 Speaker 3: This is also while Tom was Tom was performing his 595 00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:24,080 Speaker 3: hit new single in West Hollywood at Tom Tom So 596 00:38:24,719 --> 00:38:28,279 Speaker 3: everyone was there. Lisa vander Pump was there and his 597 00:38:28,440 --> 00:38:31,640 Speaker 3: phone just happened to fall out of his pocket while 598 00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:35,359 Speaker 3: he was performing. He didn't change his password, even though 599 00:38:35,400 --> 00:38:38,560 Speaker 3: at this time he said that they were broken up officially. 600 00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:44,279 Speaker 3: And then he also left the video in his camera role. 601 00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:47,600 Speaker 1: Wait, this is what you believe or this is what 602 00:38:47,680 --> 00:38:48,280 Speaker 1: was said? 603 00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:52,239 Speaker 3: This is what I know, because this is what has 604 00:38:52,280 --> 00:38:57,000 Speaker 3: been said by Tom and by Ariana. 605 00:38:57,320 --> 00:39:00,120 Speaker 1: That the phone fell out of his pocket. Yes, and 606 00:39:00,160 --> 00:39:00,799 Speaker 1: you believe that. 607 00:39:01,400 --> 00:39:03,680 Speaker 2: I don't even know what to believe anymore. 608 00:39:04,320 --> 00:39:06,879 Speaker 1: Okay, So the phone fell out of his pocket and 609 00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:10,399 Speaker 1: she then picked it up and put his password in 610 00:39:10,680 --> 00:39:13,239 Speaker 1: and or did you didn't have his face ID? And 611 00:39:13,280 --> 00:39:15,759 Speaker 1: then found a video that was on the front of 612 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,120 Speaker 1: his phone for her to see. 613 00:39:17,360 --> 00:39:20,160 Speaker 3: Yes, a mutual friend picked it up gave it to 614 00:39:20,200 --> 00:39:24,440 Speaker 3: Ariana because Thomas still performing. She had this gut instinct 615 00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:29,400 Speaker 3: she said to look through the phone. And she just 616 00:39:30,320 --> 00:39:32,480 Speaker 3: looked through the camera role and there was the video. 617 00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:38,400 Speaker 1: And okay, and who else has seen that? 618 00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:44,160 Speaker 3: I it seems to be that a lot of people 619 00:39:44,239 --> 00:39:48,719 Speaker 3: have seen it, despite my immediate season desist letter that 620 00:39:48,840 --> 00:39:56,239 Speaker 3: went out. She some of Arianna's friends have described the 621 00:39:56,480 --> 00:40:04,480 Speaker 3: video in great detail online and she also sent it 622 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:08,239 Speaker 3: to me, so I don't know who else she sent 623 00:40:08,280 --> 00:40:11,000 Speaker 3: it to. I wouldn't be surprised if she sent it 624 00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:15,279 Speaker 3: to other people, but it's not legal. 625 00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,359 Speaker 1: Right, And other people have said to you that they've 626 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:23,040 Speaker 1: seen it. Yeah, okay, So do you mind if I 627 00:40:23,040 --> 00:40:25,719 Speaker 1: ask how old you are? I'm twenty eight, you're twenty eight. 628 00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:30,239 Speaker 1: So have you had many relationships before reality television? 629 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:34,239 Speaker 3: No? I had an unofficial boyfriend who is scared of 630 00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:40,120 Speaker 3: commitment in college, and that was my first love, my 631 00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:46,040 Speaker 3: first I love you to somebody. And then I met James. 632 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:50,080 Speaker 3: And I met James and I was twenty one. I 633 00:40:50,120 --> 00:40:53,080 Speaker 3: was in this like DJ phase where I was like 634 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:55,160 Speaker 3: into the DJ and try to get up on stage 635 00:40:55,160 --> 00:40:58,000 Speaker 3: and whatever. And when I met him, he had this 636 00:40:58,120 --> 00:41:04,399 Speaker 3: like charming British accent, and so I fell like in 637 00:41:04,440 --> 00:41:09,200 Speaker 3: love with James. We did long distance for two years 638 00:41:09,280 --> 00:41:12,960 Speaker 3: and then we lived together for three years. 639 00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:16,439 Speaker 1: But you've had your major significant relationships in your life 640 00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:17,759 Speaker 1: have been on reality television? 641 00:41:17,840 --> 00:41:19,160 Speaker 3: Yes? Wow? Yes? 642 00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:24,080 Speaker 1: Okay? So were you what you believed to be in 643 00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:25,400 Speaker 1: love with Tom? 644 00:41:25,960 --> 00:41:28,560 Speaker 3: I believed I was in love with Tom at the time. 645 00:41:29,120 --> 00:41:31,520 Speaker 3: I now look back on it and see that I 646 00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:34,800 Speaker 3: was not in love with him. I also don't believe 647 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:38,000 Speaker 3: that he truly was in love with me either. Okay, 648 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:44,120 Speaker 3: it was we had this connection that I felt seen 649 00:41:44,440 --> 00:41:48,759 Speaker 3: and heard by him that I haven't really had that 650 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:53,319 Speaker 3: connection with other people on the cast, nor people in 651 00:41:53,320 --> 00:41:54,080 Speaker 3: my real life. 652 00:41:54,320 --> 00:41:55,560 Speaker 2: So it was like. 653 00:41:57,440 --> 00:42:03,000 Speaker 3: I was filming in a tumultuous environment. I was needing 654 00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:09,400 Speaker 3: some validation and somebody to hear what I was going through. 655 00:42:09,920 --> 00:42:14,400 Speaker 3: And here comes along Tom, who really gave me that 656 00:42:14,560 --> 00:42:16,920 Speaker 3: time of day to share my side of the story 657 00:42:17,480 --> 00:42:23,799 Speaker 3: in a non judgment zone, and that's exactly what I 658 00:42:23,880 --> 00:42:24,800 Speaker 3: needed in that moment.