WEBVTT - My L.A. Wildfire Evacuation 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:04.160 Hah, I just got a text. The Church of Scientology 0:00:04.760 --> 0:00:08.000 is witnessing for people in the parking lots at the 0:00:08.000 --> 0:00:13.520 grocery stores. They got these jackets that say Scientology Volunteer 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:17.000 Ministry and they're just walking around talking to people. That's 0:00:17.040 --> 0:00:18.560 what people think of California. 0:00:18.720 --> 0:00:30.040 Yeah, good God, Tosh Show. 0:00:30.760 --> 0:00:35.919 Welcome to Tosh Show, Daniel Tosh Live and in the 0:00:35.960 --> 0:00:39.400 flesh Man. It's good to be back. I'm in a 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:42.680 great mood. Eddie. How are you? Eddie's not here. Eddie's 0:00:42.720 --> 0:00:46.839 not here. Now, I'm in a better mood, and I'm 0:00:46.840 --> 0:00:52.240 gonna pass those savings onto you, the viewers, the money 0:00:52.240 --> 0:00:55.200 that I would have spent on Eddie being here today. Now, 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:57.560 where is Eddie? That's a great question. You guys know 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:01.200 where he is. Yeah, he's in the Florida Keys, Florida Keys. 0:01:02.000 --> 0:01:05.319 He's in Key West doing shows. No better place to 0:01:05.360 --> 0:01:10.440 be when hell and fury has struck down here in 0:01:10.640 --> 0:01:13.880 all of southern California. Well, I should check in on Eddie. 0:01:13.880 --> 0:01:15.440 I should at least make sure Eddie's fine. Let me 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:18.600 see if Eddie's fine, Let me call Eddie. What do 0:01:18.640 --> 0:01:22.480 you do when you're in Key West? Have sex with men. 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:29.080 Was that big dog? Oh yeah, you're on the pod, Eddie. 0:01:29.120 --> 0:01:32.679 We're checking in on you. Oh hey, how's it going, everybody? 0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:35.840 How's key West? Key West is great? I just got 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:40.000 here in death a man like a little bungalow and 0:01:40.600 --> 0:01:43.319 faces of the sunset. So man, this might be this 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:46.640 place is cool. All right, well're glad you're safe. Stay safe, Eddie, 0:01:46.640 --> 0:01:51.160 all stay safe? Oh wow, buddy, stay safe, stay here 0:01:51.280 --> 0:01:55.400 by Eddie. Couldn't live further away from the fires. Just 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:58.480 so weird, We're clear. He lives in South Bay. Before 0:01:58.520 --> 0:02:05.400 I get in to the wildfires that have rocked so col. Yeah, 0:02:05.480 --> 0:02:07.480 you ever call it so cal? I never do, never. 0:02:07.600 --> 0:02:10.040 I know. I don't think anyone calls it so cal. 0:02:10.280 --> 0:02:12.200 If I'm writing it down, maybe I would write so 0:02:12.280 --> 0:02:14.919 cal just because it's less and less time. But anyway, 0:02:15.800 --> 0:02:17.799 before I get I gotta talk about a few other things. 0:02:18.080 --> 0:02:21.400 Some of you are probably, hey, Dan, why do you 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:25.560 still have the beard? Have you been out fighting fires? No? No, no. 0:02:26.000 --> 0:02:30.200 The reason I still have the beard is because I 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:32.679 was gonna shave it clean up, and my wife's like, 0:02:32.760 --> 0:02:35.160 don't don't shave that. You look way better with it, 0:02:35.480 --> 0:02:38.040 And I was like, whoa No, I don't think that 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:43.480 our relationship has lost some of the spice. But if 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:46.840 there's something that's given me an edge, then I'll keep it. 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:48.880 You tell me, I just got to grow some ball 0:02:48.919 --> 0:02:51.799 hair on my face. That's what it feels like to 0:02:52.120 --> 0:02:54.520 It feels like a fourteen year old's balls or on 0:02:54.520 --> 0:02:58.320 my face. Now, before you take that and run with it, well, 0:02:58.400 --> 0:03:00.200 how do you know what a fourteen year old's ball 0:03:00.320 --> 0:03:03.960 feel like on your face? No? I don't really have 0:03:04.000 --> 0:03:07.400 an answer for that. Last week I told a story 0:03:07.680 --> 0:03:10.040 about how I had a poop in the woods, and 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:15.960 unfortunately I mentioned or fortunately, depending on who he asked, 0:03:16.040 --> 0:03:19.000 I mentioned the bakery, which was a cakeery that I 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:23.120 went to first. And I just want to reiterate because 0:03:23.160 --> 0:03:25.800 they immediately texted me like, hey, I hope you weren't 0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:30.280 implying that our place gave you the shits, and I'm like, no, no, 0:03:30.480 --> 0:03:33.040 and I'm sorry that it came across. I was saying. 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:35.760 I'm lactose intolerant. I eat like a child. That was 0:03:35.800 --> 0:03:38.160 just too much for my ston My stomach can't handle 0:03:38.440 --> 0:03:42.240 you know anything, I could eat celium husk for breakfast. 0:03:42.560 --> 0:03:46.760 I'm still gonna go diarrhea at some point. Yeah, okay, Well, anyway, 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:49.440 I just wanted them to know my friends with Sugar 0:03:49.440 --> 0:03:52.120 Pine Cakeery that I love them and their food's amazing. 0:03:52.200 --> 0:03:54.840 And don't let one story of me pooping in the 0:03:54.840 --> 0:03:57.920 woods make it sound like I'm not a huge fan. Yeah, 0:03:58.000 --> 0:04:00.680 does not cause diarrhea. You know, your food does not 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:03.800 cause That's that's just the life I live. That was 0:04:03.840 --> 0:04:10.680 just a horrible coincidence. Anyway, here's the problem when you 0:04:10.720 --> 0:04:15.560 have wildfires in California. The California is so big that 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:19.359 everybody reaches out to you, Oh my goodness, are you okay? 0:04:19.720 --> 0:04:23.880 Nobody ever understands how big certain areas are. Los Angeles 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:29.599 isn't a town, It's it's just a throw up of 0:04:29.600 --> 0:04:32.880 of the devil. You know, if you lived in North 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:37.919 Carolina and a wildfire broke out in Delaware, you wouldn't 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:40.279 call your friends in North Carolina like, how are you 0:04:40.320 --> 0:04:44.120 guys doing? Are you okay? From the Delaware fires? That's 0:04:44.160 --> 0:04:46.279 nowhere near us? You know. The other thing that was 0:04:47.080 --> 0:04:51.120 I found so terribly annoying during this is all the 0:04:51.200 --> 0:04:56.080 people's again. I'm I'm sure, I'm I'm putting this on them, 0:04:56.080 --> 0:05:01.280 But this sincerity was in question with everyone. Oh everyone's 0:05:01.320 --> 0:05:04.920 so worried. It's weird how everyone's so worried when normally 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:08.880 everybody just loves to shit on California constantly. But now 0:05:08.920 --> 0:05:12.479 everybody's just heartbroken over what we're going through. I'm like, 0:05:12.560 --> 0:05:15.200 are you are you really heartbroken? You know, when the 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:18.560 door's closed, no one's around, and you're pounding away on 0:05:18.600 --> 0:05:22.600 your keyboard about how fuck these liberals blah blah blah, 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:26.160 you're really heartbroken hate us because you ain't us, right, 0:05:26.400 --> 0:05:29.039 that's Joey's you know people you would always say that 0:05:29.120 --> 0:05:33.320 about the Patriots when they were having their run. That's 0:05:33.360 --> 0:05:35.880 just how they are about California. You know, you love 0:05:36.040 --> 0:05:37.760 you love to shit on us because we're the best, 0:05:37.960 --> 0:05:40.080 and we're the best by a mile. Now you could 0:05:40.279 --> 0:05:42.600 argue and say, oh, it's not true. I wouldn't want 0:05:42.640 --> 0:05:47.599 those wild fires. Okay, where do you live? Tornadoville, Hurricaneville. 0:05:48.360 --> 0:05:52.600 Everyone's got something. But you ever have your Apple TV 0:05:52.760 --> 0:05:56.080 on and not watch something, Just just keep it paused 0:05:56.120 --> 0:05:58.400 for a while and then it goes to a screen saver, 0:05:58.839 --> 0:06:01.880 and then all of a sudden, these beautiful images of 0:06:01.920 --> 0:06:04.280 our planet Earth come up. You want me to tell 0:06:04.279 --> 0:06:08.120 you something. Out of the thirty stock images that they 0:06:08.160 --> 0:06:11.760 have slow motion moving around, fifty percent of them are 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:15.120 from the state of California. Yeah, you know why, because 0:06:15.120 --> 0:06:18.000 it's beautiful, Because it's the prettiest place in the world. 0:06:18.560 --> 0:06:24.599 Rarely are they panning over some random town in Kentucky. 0:06:24.760 --> 0:06:30.720 There's no shot of the mall just outside of Arkansas. 0:06:31.279 --> 0:06:34.440 Just go through that screensaver, and if you can't find 0:06:34.480 --> 0:06:38.080 your hometown in there, know that there's a reason nobody 0:06:38.080 --> 0:06:41.040 wants to see the Ohio River. Oh it's so beautiful. 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:44.599 Look at the Ohio River. Everyone checked in. I can't 0:06:44.600 --> 0:06:47.159 believe what you've gone through. Mike. First of all, you 0:06:47.200 --> 0:06:49.600 don't know what we've gone through. And second one, I 0:06:49.600 --> 0:06:53.120 haven't gone through anything. If I haven't said this already, 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:59.760 I'm good. I'm fine. We filmed an episode last week 0:07:00.800 --> 0:07:04.480 the day that the fires started, and I remember calling 0:07:04.520 --> 0:07:07.040 the guys and I said, hey, you probably want to 0:07:07.080 --> 0:07:10.360 get out here early because the winds are picking up. 0:07:10.880 --> 0:07:15.400 And when the winds pick up, Edison, the power company 0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:20.000 shuts off the electricity to be preventative for wildfires. So 0:07:20.040 --> 0:07:22.040 I was like, get out here early so that we 0:07:22.120 --> 0:07:27.480 can film now we pushed the shoot up. We're shooting. Literally, 0:07:27.960 --> 0:07:31.200 i'd say thirty minutes after we finished shooting the episode, 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:36.080 boom power went off. And then they drove home. And 0:07:36.160 --> 0:07:38.760 as they were driving home, I'm like, guys, you see 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:42.520 that that plume coming from the Palisades. And they're like yeah, yeah, 0:07:42.560 --> 0:07:44.520 and they drove right by it. They filmed it. They're like, 0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:48.240 it's getting worse and worse, and sure, shit, that was it. 0:07:48.360 --> 0:07:51.200 That was our Tuesday. And I don't, you know, I'm 0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:55.480 not going to get into conspiracies on what started the fire. 0:07:56.120 --> 0:07:58.800 You know, I don't know if it was a climate 0:07:58.920 --> 0:08:02.360 change versus God. I don't know if it was some 0:08:03.040 --> 0:08:07.960 maga arsonist that couldn't figure out that his candidate won 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:10.280 the election. I was like, well, I still have these 0:08:10.320 --> 0:08:13.520 plans to destroy California. Who whatever it is, whether it 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:18.320 was a fire that started six days before, hey, maybe 0:08:18.320 --> 0:08:22.600 you blame our tone def governor, who's really listen, he's 0:08:22.600 --> 0:08:26.600 going to fix this, come hell or high water because 0:08:26.640 --> 0:08:28.840 he's got an Olympics to put on. I don't care 0:08:28.920 --> 0:08:33.000 what it was, it happened and now there's destruction. And 0:08:33.040 --> 0:08:36.120 I also want to point out this in twenty eighteen 0:08:36.520 --> 0:08:42.480 the Wosey fires. I was building my current home near completion. 0:08:42.880 --> 0:08:46.880 We had investment property next door that housed all of 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:49.880 our stuff, and the Wolsey fire came through and it 0:08:50.040 --> 0:08:53.120 burnt my house down, and it burnt down that neighbor's 0:08:53.120 --> 0:08:55.520 house that had all the stuff in it. So I've 0:08:55.520 --> 0:08:58.680 been through it, and my wife was seven months pregnant 0:08:58.679 --> 0:09:01.360 at the time, and it was just the worst thing 0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:04.880 in the world. But the point is I've gone through it. 0:09:04.880 --> 0:09:09.839 It's horrific, and you know, I'm not gonna live in 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:13.240 a state of depression for the next three to five years. 0:09:13.880 --> 0:09:18.120 When I was fortunate for this particular fire. You know, 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:20.960 what am I gonna do? How is Malibu and going 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:25.160 to rebuild? Well, they're going to maybe it. You can't 0:09:25.160 --> 0:09:28.200 see it now, but it's gonna happen. And I hear 0:09:28.240 --> 0:09:31.120 people when they say this. You know, not everybody in 0:09:31.160 --> 0:09:35.960 Malibu is wealthy. Not everybody in the Pacific Palisades is wealthy. No, okay, 0:09:36.320 --> 0:09:39.959 not everybody, most of them, not everybody. And and a 0:09:40.040 --> 0:09:44.360 lot of people are hurting and they've lost, you know, everything, 0:09:44.400 --> 0:09:48.880 that's it's horribly tragic. I certainly know that if it 0:09:48.960 --> 0:09:55.480 were in other areas of Los Angeles, the numbers, you know, 0:09:56.000 --> 0:10:00.439 might be much higher, and the coverage would be much less. 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:03.880 You don't have as many celebrities living in Altadena as 0:10:03.880 --> 0:10:05.599 you do the Pacific Palace stage, so I feel like 0:10:05.600 --> 0:10:09.200 they're not getting the equal coverage. But we care about 0:10:09.240 --> 0:10:12.760 you just as much. Well maybe not as much as 0:10:13.160 --> 0:10:18.120 Steve Kerr's family home or JJ Reddick's house, but you 0:10:18.600 --> 0:10:21.280 get it. I mean, it's okay. So anyway, it wasn't 0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:24.200 near us, and I'm like, it's the direction of the 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:27.000 is okay for us. We don't need to leave. And 0:10:27.080 --> 0:10:30.040 I got a I've got a generator at my house. 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:32.960 It's you know, it hooked up to a main gas line. 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:35.440 They shut the gas off and they've never done that before. 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:37.360 And then the internet went out, and I'm like, whoa, 0:10:37.480 --> 0:10:40.760 this is bad. I got now I've got to evacuate. Guy, 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:43.000 I got a one year old. I can't. I can't 0:10:43.080 --> 0:10:45.760 live like that. I can't entertain a one year old. 0:10:45.840 --> 0:10:48.720 She already knows about technology. You want me to you 0:10:48.720 --> 0:10:51.000 want me to pretend like it's a little house on 0:10:51.040 --> 0:10:55.120 the prairie. M So we had to go. We we 0:10:55.400 --> 0:11:02.400 headed out to Monacito. Oh beautiful. Go to the Rosewood Mahormar, 0:11:03.040 --> 0:11:07.400 most expensive hotel. It won't even it'd make you sick. 0:11:07.640 --> 0:11:10.360 And they were nice enough, and it's funny. Here's what 0:11:10.400 --> 0:11:14.400 I learned during an evacuation. No hotel is allowed to 0:11:15.200 --> 0:11:19.960 turn away animals dogs. That's interesting. Every hotel becomes pet 0:11:20.000 --> 0:11:24.880 friendly during an evacuation. Anyway. This place is pet friendly regardless. 0:11:24.960 --> 0:11:27.360 But everybody that was getting out of their car had 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:31.400 two or three pets and a mother in law and 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:35.360 it was just hysterical. And nobody was packed properly. You know. 0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:39.800 They had a hamper filled with random toys, clothes piled up. 0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:44.480 All of the people there, people from Calabasas and Malibu 0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:48.640 and the Palisades, and everybody's just in different states of shock. 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:56.080 I immediately ran into Chandler Parsons there. He's got tequila, screaming 0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:59.640 fifty to fifty coach if my house is gone. Made 0:11:59.640 --> 0:12:02.080 me laugh. I'm like, good, this is who I want 0:12:02.080 --> 0:12:04.400 to be with right now. I'll tell you what though. 0:12:04.520 --> 0:12:07.360 Evacuation life was good for Chandler. He's golf and every day. 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:09.600 One day he was with his daughter and she was 0:12:09.640 --> 0:12:12.720 just sobbing crying. I was with my daughter, happy as 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:16.360 can be, and I say to his daughter, Oh, what 0:12:16.600 --> 0:12:20.760 would holding a bluey make you happier? My daughter has 0:12:20.800 --> 0:12:23.040 a stuffed bluey. She was holding it, and then my 0:12:23.120 --> 0:12:27.080 daughter just without hesitation, just just hands it to his daughter. 0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:31.040 She immediately stops crying. And then and then Chandler just 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:37.559 leaves and takes it. I mean I asked for it. 0:12:37.600 --> 0:12:39.360 Like the next day, I said, hey, how about that 0:12:39.559 --> 0:12:42.760 stuffed animal back? And you know, He's like, oh, yeah, 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:45.160 I'll get that back to you. And that hasn't happened, 0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:49.240 by the way. One day Chandler was this was funny. 0:12:49.600 --> 0:12:53.360 He's like, hey, I'm gonna bet bet the Chargers to 0:12:53.440 --> 0:12:56.120 beat the Texans. I go, don't do it. I can 0:12:56.400 --> 0:12:59.080 show it to you. I had texts. Are they don't. 0:12:59.280 --> 0:13:01.600 He's like, I'm doing it. And then I keep seeing him. 0:13:01.600 --> 0:13:04.160 I'm like, don't do it. He's like, no, no, they're 0:13:04.160 --> 0:13:07.400 gonna They're gonna easily beat them. I'm like, ah, He's like, 0:13:07.440 --> 0:13:12.520 I'm putting thirty k on it. I go, oh, don't. Yeah, 0:13:12.760 --> 0:13:15.400 how'd that work? He he left, He got kicked out 0:13:15.400 --> 0:13:17.280 of the hotel. He was tired of that place. He 0:13:17.360 --> 0:13:20.240 got kicked out. Well, he thought he thought his reservation 0:13:20.400 --> 0:13:23.240 was through that, you know, one day, and it wasn't. 0:13:23.520 --> 0:13:25.920 They're like, you got to move on. There's but guess 0:13:25.920 --> 0:13:29.800 who I guess who replaced him as basketball Royalty entered 0:13:29.880 --> 0:13:32.000 the hotel. Dwayne Wade. 0:13:32.200 --> 0:13:32.720 Oh wow. 0:13:33.120 --> 0:13:35.360 Yeah. I didn't see his wife, which would have been 0:13:35.400 --> 0:13:38.480 a better sighting. But I went up to Dwayne again. 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:41.439 I was with my daughter and I said, hey, how 0:13:41.520 --> 0:13:45.880 are you Dwayne? What's going on with this Butler situation? No, 0:13:46.000 --> 0:13:47.800 he didn't give me any insight on that. I do 0:13:47.960 --> 0:13:52.240 my normal thing. Hi. I'm comedian Daniel Tosh. I'm a 0:13:52.360 --> 0:13:56.200 fan of the Miami Heat. I have been since day 0:13:56.240 --> 0:13:58.319 one nineteen eighty eight or is it eighty nine? I 0:13:58.360 --> 0:14:01.960 don't fucking remember. Ready for this, yeah, day two after 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:05.240 the fires, who do I run into? I'm standing in 0:14:05.320 --> 0:14:11.600 the lobby with Carl and I'm holding my daughter waiting 0:14:11.760 --> 0:14:15.920 for a glass of whole milk, which oddly was hard 0:14:15.960 --> 0:14:18.880 to get from time to time. And who comes in with, 0:14:19.440 --> 0:14:24.720 you know, an assistant or somebody Oprah Winfrey? Ooh Royalty. Wow, 0:14:25.160 --> 0:14:28.440 the A list celebrity sighting of all comes walking. What 0:14:28.520 --> 0:14:30.560 does she do? Does she look at my beautiful daughter 0:14:30.760 --> 0:14:33.480 and give her a nod or a smile? Absolutely not 0:14:34.560 --> 0:14:39.440 looks at Carl immediately gets excited, just immediately does a 0:14:39.720 --> 0:14:42.680 look at that dog. That's what she goes, look at 0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:46.200 that dog. Wow. I was like, look at that Carl 0:14:47.440 --> 0:14:51.120 Oprah And he was ungroomed, right, he was horribly ungroomed. 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:51.560 Oh wow. 0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:54.640 If she would have saw him today, oh man, man, 0:14:54.760 --> 0:14:57.160 she would have been taken back. No, he was looking awful. 0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:01.640 He is had, you know, a little dread appropriating some culture. 0:15:02.960 --> 0:15:05.680 Whenever you're at these nice hotels, they love to tell 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:08.480 you what celebrities have stayed there. And I'm always like 0:15:08.720 --> 0:15:11.680 not impressed because I'm like, well, of course they've stayed here. 0:15:12.680 --> 0:15:16.120 It's a nice hotel. Where else would they stay? Now? 0:15:16.320 --> 0:15:20.920 I would be more interested in shitty hotels telling me 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:26.000 what celebrities have stayed there. You know, you're telling me 0:15:27.000 --> 0:15:33.160 at this fair field in Diplo stayed here? All right, 0:15:33.880 --> 0:15:37.680 that's interesting. Why do you think Diplo is there? Huh? 0:15:39.120 --> 0:15:42.640 By the way, no thing I didn't do right by people. 0:15:42.840 --> 0:15:47.400 I've offered up our Tahoe house to anyone that needs 0:15:47.480 --> 0:15:50.000 to get away that we know. I mean even people 0:15:50.040 --> 0:15:52.200 that don't really know if we kind of secondhand know 0:15:52.320 --> 0:15:54.920 them and they need a place, I'm like here, when 0:15:54.960 --> 0:15:56.800 the time is right and you just want to get 0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:00.320 away for a week, a couple of days, whatever, go 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:03.840 on up, I'll have it opened up for you. But 0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:07.280 then we had a rental house immediately after our hotel stay, 0:16:07.840 --> 0:16:11.480 and you know, we invited everyone, any families that needed 0:16:11.520 --> 0:16:13.640 to come. We had a big house. We only needed 0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:18.760 one room. We crammed in. I put there's two closet 0:16:18.840 --> 0:16:21.000 areas in my room, so one kid got one of them, 0:16:21.040 --> 0:16:23.160 one got the other, and then the rest of the 0:16:23.200 --> 0:16:25.840 bedrooms we just divvied up to other families that needed it. 0:16:26.200 --> 0:16:34.920 Just really, you know, just generous. Poor Ava, my beautiful, old, sweet, 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:40.600 confused fifteen year old dog. She doesn't do well when 0:16:40.640 --> 0:16:43.480 you bring her anywhere else. She just doesn't understand where 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:46.800 she is. And when we got to the rental house, 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:49.640 you know, this lady has showing me around how to 0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:52.960 use stuff. I'm pretending to listen. Here's how you turned 0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:56.800 the jacuzzi on. I can never figure it out. Anyway, 0:16:56.880 --> 0:17:00.200 she leaves. I happened to be walking outside and I 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:05.240 watched Ava quickly just walk right into the pool. And 0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:08.640 then when she walked into the pool, she didn't even 0:17:08.680 --> 0:17:12.520 attempt to swim, didn't kick her legs, just started sinking 0:17:12.640 --> 0:17:16.720 to the bottom. Swear just started sinking straight to I 0:17:17.040 --> 0:17:19.560 reach my arm and I grab her by an ear 0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:22.560 and slowly pull her up and get her out, dryer off, 0:17:23.040 --> 0:17:27.080 and I'm like, day, honey, let's not kill yourself right now, Jesus. 0:17:27.520 --> 0:17:30.600 But I had it, you know, because of all the 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:34.840 travel and not being groomed, she got madded and I've 0:17:34.880 --> 0:17:38.200 had to shave her down. Oh my goodness, still cute 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:41.240 and she's doing good. Everybody says, no, no, she's got 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:43.960 She's still got life in her. She's still enjoying things. 0:17:44.040 --> 0:17:47.280 You know. Remember when our vet friend was on and 0:17:47.400 --> 0:17:49.080 he said, you come up with a list of ten 0:17:49.200 --> 0:17:51.840 things that they like, and when they stopped doing five 0:17:51.920 --> 0:17:55.320 of them start having the conversation. Huh, she has stopped 0:17:55.359 --> 0:18:00.760 all ten. She eats and poops. That's the only time 0:18:00.760 --> 0:18:02.640 I can ever tell if she's got any joy left 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:05.880 in her. But every now and then there's just some life. 0:18:05.960 --> 0:18:07.399 I don't know. I don't know what to do with her. 0:18:07.960 --> 0:18:10.720 Matt love her though. By the way, my wife's birthday 0:18:11.680 --> 0:18:15.320 is this coming weekend, and I've already reserved a hotel 0:18:15.840 --> 0:18:20.320 for us up in Montecito, and we're gonna go. I 0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:22.760 have to act like it's like, no, no, it's not. 0:18:23.440 --> 0:18:27.040 It's different. It's your birthday. We're gonna celebrate. We didn't 0:18:27.200 --> 0:18:30.120 just do this, No, I just I'm just gonna pretend 0:18:30.600 --> 0:18:34.080 that we haven't just been in a hotel, in a 0:18:34.160 --> 0:18:37.399 rental house and in Tahoe, like we've been at our 0:18:37.440 --> 0:18:40.240 house for two days this year. Twenty twenty five. Guys 0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:47.920 man starting off strong. Oh yeah, oh brother, speaking of 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:51.840 wildfires and how long it takes to rebuild. You remember 0:18:51.920 --> 0:18:55.720 when Australia had those horrible wildfires. Oh yeah. I was 0:18:55.880 --> 0:19:00.320 working there right after those fires in twenty nineteen. It 0:19:00.400 --> 0:19:04.199 was right before the pandemic, and I remember people going, oh, 0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:07.200 I can't believe you're going, like the wildfires are two 0:19:07.200 --> 0:19:10.000 out of control. You should cancel. And I didn't. I went, 0:19:10.640 --> 0:19:14.520 and then I felt guilty because of the wildfires, and I, 0:19:15.400 --> 0:19:19.200 you know, donated all the money that I made to help, 0:19:19.560 --> 0:19:23.320 you know, rebuild. And now it's been four or so 0:19:23.520 --> 0:19:26.200 years and I haven't checked in, but I was watching 0:19:26.200 --> 0:19:30.680 the Australian open this week, and I'm like, nobody even 0:19:30.760 --> 0:19:33.600 mentions it. Things look normal, things look good. I mean, 0:19:33.840 --> 0:19:36.840 I could be completely wrong, but the point is, and 0:19:37.000 --> 0:19:41.600 in four years things will be good or better. I hope. 0:19:42.240 --> 0:19:44.800 I can't even imagine how strong the economy is going 0:19:44.880 --> 0:19:48.200 to be when this new administration fixes everything. You'll be 0:19:48.240 --> 0:19:51.400 sitting on a fortune. Come out ahead. Yeah, you're gonna 0:19:51.400 --> 0:19:53.280 be coming out of head. Let me tell you something 0:19:53.320 --> 0:19:57.640 else about uh Australia. When I was there. You want 0:19:57.640 --> 0:20:01.600 to know how bad those fires were. It rained while 0:20:01.600 --> 0:20:04.240 we were in Melbourne, and the fires were so bad 0:20:04.920 --> 0:20:10.560 that there was like dust, dirt, ash in the air 0:20:11.160 --> 0:20:15.159 that the rain was coming down. I shit, you not 0:20:15.320 --> 0:20:19.359 like mud. It was redish, reddish like I remember my 0:20:19.480 --> 0:20:24.160 wife's shoes were immediately ruined from walking outside in the rain. 0:20:25.320 --> 0:20:27.440 You couldn't wrap your head around that. And I just think, well, 0:20:28.240 --> 0:20:31.480 that's worse if it was if it was raining blood 0:20:31.560 --> 0:20:36.240 here in LA Right now, I can imagine the news coverage. 0:20:38.840 --> 0:20:44.760 Here's here's a little bit of my hostility towards the coverage. 0:20:45.359 --> 0:20:47.879 I understand some of it's informative, but a lot of 0:20:47.960 --> 0:20:50.600 it is just the world we live. In now where 0:20:50.640 --> 0:20:54.440 everybody just like, look at the suffering, Look what they're 0:20:54.480 --> 0:20:58.080 going through. And I'm just somebody. When my house burnt 0:20:58.160 --> 0:21:02.880 down and I came back, I would have appreciated more 0:21:03.000 --> 0:21:05.800 stories of like, look at this, this place made it. 0:21:06.000 --> 0:21:09.160 This place made it. When they say that five thousand 0:21:09.240 --> 0:21:13.160 structures are damaged, that doesn't necessarily mean five thousand homes. 0:21:13.960 --> 0:21:17.240 You know that doesn't It's not one for one. And 0:21:17.800 --> 0:21:21.760 you know, I don't know how many homes survived in 0:21:21.880 --> 0:21:24.920 the Pacific Palisades, but I know homes did. The person 0:21:24.960 --> 0:21:30.000 that built my home twice, he bought me a little 0:21:30.080 --> 0:21:33.840 Honda pool drainer pump to fight fires. I got two 0:21:33.920 --> 0:21:37.280 hundred feet of two inch hose and I drop a 0:21:37.359 --> 0:21:40.800 line into my pool and I can, you know, stop 0:21:40.880 --> 0:21:45.040 any spotfires that come. And that's another thing that happens. 0:21:45.080 --> 0:21:47.960 When they tell you to evacuate, and and some people 0:21:48.080 --> 0:21:50.879 refuse to evacuate, you're like, oh, but then they have 0:21:51.040 --> 0:21:55.720 to save you. Yes, you should listen to evacuations, but 0:21:56.800 --> 0:22:02.680 certain people that are capable of helping you can't convince 0:22:02.800 --> 0:22:06.720 me that it's not beneficial. For instance, the guy that 0:22:06.800 --> 0:22:10.200 built my house lives in the Palisades, and sure shit, 0:22:10.320 --> 0:22:13.680 he had to evacuate, and then he's snuck back in 0:22:14.200 --> 0:22:17.800 on foot around police, got up back to his house, 0:22:18.080 --> 0:22:21.800 saw that his neighbor's house was on fire, put his 0:22:22.400 --> 0:22:26.600 pump in his pool, got their house out, drained his 0:22:26.880 --> 0:22:30.639 entire pool, went to his neighbor's house, drained their pool, 0:22:30.960 --> 0:22:34.720 just soaking everything. Went to the next house, drained their pool, 0:22:35.040 --> 0:22:38.520 soaking the next two houses. Saved four or five houses 0:22:38.640 --> 0:22:42.640 right there on a Palisades road. You know, by himself, 0:22:43.600 --> 0:22:47.040 I'm just letting you know, not every not everything is gone. 0:22:47.800 --> 0:22:49.879 People are like, oh the whole the whole town. No, 0:22:50.040 --> 0:22:52.800 there's some places that are okay. Not every place is 0:22:52.960 --> 0:22:54.800 completely derit. And some of the places that are that 0:22:54.920 --> 0:22:58.439 are damaged. Not the whole thing is damaged. And let 0:22:58.520 --> 0:23:02.720 me tell you something. Building in California is a nightmare. 0:23:04.080 --> 0:23:08.480 And guess what now, Oh, they're going to have to 0:23:08.560 --> 0:23:11.440 be more lenient and they're gonna have to like expedite 0:23:11.760 --> 0:23:15.040 all of these permits. And that's a good thing. People 0:23:15.280 --> 0:23:17.399 will you know, they won't have to It's not gonna 0:23:17.400 --> 0:23:20.200 be the process that it is normally when you try 0:23:20.240 --> 0:23:24.200 to build and everybody's got answers I talk to people. 0:23:24.680 --> 0:23:29.320 I listen. You know, we're getting this entire system put 0:23:29.359 --> 0:23:33.080 in our home that changes the humidity by over fifty 0:23:33.119 --> 0:23:36.159 percent and fires will just go around it. I'm like, 0:23:36.160 --> 0:23:40.720 all right, I'm gonna buy a different house. Or what 0:23:40.800 --> 0:23:43.800 do you think of these people that hire private firefighters? 0:23:44.080 --> 0:23:48.520 I'm jealous. If I could bribe a truck to just 0:23:48.680 --> 0:23:51.960 park it out in front of my place when a 0:23:52.080 --> 0:23:55.520 fire was coming, I think that'd be great. Am I 0:23:55.560 --> 0:23:57.080 going to look into what it costs to get a 0:23:57.119 --> 0:24:00.880 private firefighter? Now? No, I'm not. You know, I kept 0:24:00.960 --> 0:24:03.399 checking into my house because if you watch the news, 0:24:03.600 --> 0:24:08.520 the looters. The looters are everywhere. Okay, you know who 0:24:08.560 --> 0:24:11.520 buys into that stuff. Remember my AV guy John that 0:24:11.600 --> 0:24:13.840 I interviewed on the show, Uh huh. Sure enough. He 0:24:13.920 --> 0:24:17.240 was checking into my house constantly, and he's like, I 0:24:17.280 --> 0:24:21.240 got a gun on me. I'm like, what that maniacs 0:24:21.280 --> 0:24:23.679 walking over the gun. I'm like, if you shoot Roofina, 0:24:24.520 --> 0:24:27.680 wonder what kind of gun he has. Lord knows he 0:24:27.720 --> 0:24:29.840 shouldn't have a gun. I just I just know that 0:24:29.920 --> 0:24:32.960 if there's a criminal with the gun and my AV 0:24:33.240 --> 0:24:36.159 guy with the gun, I'm putting all my money on 0:24:36.240 --> 0:24:39.000