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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode a alchemy this I'm your host,

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Speaker 1: Kevin Pollock, Yes that Kevin Pollock? What's that? Well? You

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Speaker 1: know what, when the cows do come home, this comment

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Speaker 1: of yours will seem rather tepid, won't it? But I digress.

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Speaker 1: Let's meet an Optimists and no particular order? Shall we

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Speaker 1: say hello to? But that's a raglan. You're trapped on

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Speaker 1: a deserted island. What is the one collection of music? Oh,

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Speaker 1: you'd like to have with you? Oh? These collections used

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Speaker 1: to be called albums. It's much easier to ask. You

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Speaker 1: know what. This is a really bad one for me.

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Speaker 1: So you don't have a musical stylings that you particularly enjoy?

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Speaker 1: Your eclectic? Your taste is eclectic. It's all over the place.

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Speaker 1: Are you over Judy Garland? I love Judy? We kill

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Speaker 1: each other on the island. Okay. Then the question shifts

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Speaker 1: which one of us? And you have to say, Joey,

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Speaker 1: would you like to make you a mixtape for the island?

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Speaker 1: I have to say, that's right. The same song on

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Speaker 1: Loop Grab your Shorts. Craig Atkowski is at the table,

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Speaker 1: ka cow, what is your deserted island album? You know what?

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Speaker 1: I'm saying album, so now it's no longer music could

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Speaker 1: be anything. I think one of those Haunted House records

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Speaker 1: of Spooky that way. Other people stay the funk off

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Speaker 1: my Desert Island, that's the beauty. So uh is it

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Speaker 1: desert island because it's a deserted island? What makes it

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Speaker 1: a desert? They mean the same thing. Turns out, I

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Speaker 1: think the British say desert, I mean deserted. So you

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Speaker 1: thought your face, you thought you were in the UK

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Speaker 1: for a moment. I know we've got a big UK

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Speaker 1: listeners do who love the accidents? At least one of

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Speaker 1: the same suggestions today is from the UK. Hold the

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Speaker 1: bread between your knees. It's Chris Alvarado, Chris T. Brinkley

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Speaker 1: of improv. What is your album of Desert Island? Man?

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Speaker 1: All right, I'm just gonna say it. Just say yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's Dr Dre's the Chronic boom Ka Boom cut the Grass.

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Speaker 1: Because they're James Heeney, James g McGee the third. Care

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Speaker 1: to share your albums? Yes, I do. It would be

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Speaker 1: it would be that's all the time we have. It

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Speaker 1: would be alive one from fish Okay, you know what

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Speaker 1: it's a really good album. It's really good. I meant

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Speaker 1: to ask you a question. Is that five hours long?

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Speaker 1: It's it's longer than most albums. But should ever be

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Speaker 1: how that so easily? See? You just jammed a lot

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Speaker 1: of different sounds coming out of that. Do they do

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Speaker 1: they have the nerve to name the tracks? Yeah, of

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Speaker 1: course they do. There's different songs. No, they aren't different titles.

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Speaker 1: Oh man, okay, God bless you for your choice. We

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Speaker 1: live in a free society, or allowed to be wrong.

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Speaker 1: And but may your car washby clothes if you think

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Speaker 1: at least it's Joey Greer, joe to the Greer. Oh

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Speaker 1: what is your album? You know? I'm I'm gonna go

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Speaker 1: with your own new album? You know my I had

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Speaker 1: to play my album Goodnight, which is on the Spotify

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Speaker 1: itune Sam. If you did, I would strip myself immediately.

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Speaker 1: I would forget that that's who I am. I forget

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Speaker 1: that I'm listening to myself and then vow to kill

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Speaker 1: the person on the album. And when I get back

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Speaker 1: to civilization, I realized that that's me and I've I've

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Speaker 1: already been dead. That's beautiful, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: That makes sense or Limbiscuit, Anything by Limbiscuit. Those are

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Speaker 1: my two albums. We'd like to invite you to become

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Speaker 1: a v I P member of our new Patreon page.

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Speaker 1: Bonus episodes not available to non members. Oh that's right,

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Speaker 1: episodes seen available only to you. There's a phone number,

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Speaker 1: and also that the just v i P s can

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Speaker 1: call in, leave a message, or put in requestion or

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Speaker 1: request whatever will reply at one of our regular meetups.

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Speaker 1: We've got one coming up actually at the house where

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Speaker 1: we do a live stream. Will tell you all about

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Speaker 1: it on the social media's Uh, those are only available

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Speaker 1: to v i P s All kinds of cool ship.

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Speaker 1: So joined the super core fans by going to Patreon

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Speaker 1: dot com slash alchemy this. All of today's scenes suggestions

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Speaker 1: regathered from our listeners emails. If you would like to

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Speaker 1: submit one, please write to the podcast that your name

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Speaker 1: here at alchemy this dot com. That's your name here

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Speaker 1: at alchemy this dot com. Our first scene comes from Dave,

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Speaker 1: a Patreon v I P. I'm sorry, did I not

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Speaker 1: mentioned that v I P s get priorities scenes suggestion

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Speaker 1: into the queue? Because you do, Dave wrote, it made

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Speaker 1: my day when you use my suggestion unibody body part

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Speaker 1: group therapy. Yep, it's me, Mr Univall. I don't think

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Speaker 1: I was here for that. You probably weren't. You might

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Speaker 1: have been. Thanks for doing that one. Here's my new

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Speaker 1: scenes suggested, brace Yourselves. Marvin mckugh as an advice call

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Speaker 1: in radio show host, thanks for all the last checking

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Speaker 1: his church Dave uh Marvin's So you just sit at

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Speaker 1: the counter that you've got the headphones and the microphone,

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Speaker 1: a firm view. That's all you gotta do, Will folle

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Speaker 1: with the questions to you, and you just first thing

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Speaker 1: that comes to your mind. Okay. And these real people

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Speaker 1: calling in, they certainly are yeah, yeah, people from all

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Speaker 1: over the world, by the way, not just the United States. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so it might be a different time zone. It could

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Speaker 1: in fact be a completely different time zone. Okay, so

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Speaker 1: I should adjust to that. You don't have to adjust anything.

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Speaker 1: I'll just shoot your question while play the person's asking

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Speaker 1: the question, and then you just first thing comes to

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Speaker 1: your mind. Okay, good, because I have a lot of

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Speaker 1: advice to give you. That please. That's we had a

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Speaker 1: lot of life experiences. That's why we've hired you. Good good,

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Speaker 1: or they've hired you. I'm just the engineer. My name

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Speaker 1: is Doug, Babe. So let's uh when you're ready to

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Speaker 1: give me a thumbs up. M that's not really a thumb. Okay, well,

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Speaker 1: I my thumb is mangled. So hello him? Am I

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Speaker 1: on the air. Oh here's our first caller? Yes, your stage,

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Speaker 1: your name please, and where you're calling from. Hey, my

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Speaker 1: name is Donny Carter. I'm calling from Downey, California. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Mr Carter, what question do you have from Marvin? Well?

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Speaker 1: Quick little backstory? My wife and I are well, we've

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Speaker 1: lost the spark frankly, and I just don't want to

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Speaker 1: lose her. She's a great woman. I just don't baby, Baby,

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Speaker 1: I'm ordering pizza. I'm ordering pizza. I'll make this quick

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Speaker 1: if you get something with pepperoni. No, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: that's not that's not my question. My question is how

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Speaker 1: do I bring the fire back to the bedroom? Bring

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Speaker 1: the used to have a fire there? No, sir, one second, baby, please?

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Speaker 1: I need I need, I need an answer, I need

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Speaker 1: it quickly. She's getting angry and I want to suite

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Speaker 1: her and make sweet sweet love to her. Please give

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Speaker 1: me lastly's coming over. We're going out you're staying at home.

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Speaker 1: Can I come? Now? Well that's the issue, isn't it. Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I can't come. Thanks for nothing. Look, look Danny dunny him.

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Speaker 1: It's okay, Marvin. We got another call. Okay in the

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Speaker 1: queue here for you call. Yeah, as it turns out

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Speaker 1: good one. Uh your name and where you're calling from?

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Speaker 1: Place by um sean turtle neck, no relation to the

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Speaker 1: actual clothing one um from I'm calling. I'm from Raleigh,

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Speaker 1: North Carolina, but I'm calling from New York, New York,

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Speaker 1: right outside and right outside, right outside now, and I

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Speaker 1: have a quick time is it there? Right now? It's

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Speaker 1: it's like six What time is it? Everybody? It's three eighteen? Okay,

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Speaker 1: So should I call back? Or how did this? Well?

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Speaker 1: I just want should I call back? Or is there

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Speaker 1: Doug b What do we do? We'll just go ahead

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Speaker 1: with the question. Uh, well, this is a time sensitive question.

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Speaker 1: I don't uh if we're not on the same time,

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Speaker 1: I don't know what. Okay, Well, let's synchronize. I watching.

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Speaker 1: Are you analog or digital? Okay? I am digital? All right,

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Speaker 1: So this is gonna be one two. Okay, what do

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Speaker 1: you see now? I see right now? It is off

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Speaker 1: I just turned my watch also off. All right, I

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Speaker 1: don't know what time it is. That's good. We don't

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Speaker 1: know what time it is, so both What is your question?

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Speaker 1: Question is actually more of a statement. It's actually more

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Speaker 1: of a statement. But all phrase as a question. We

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Speaker 1: can handle that phrase as a question. That's all right,

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Speaker 1: just to do it upward inflection. You got it. Red socks, Raleigh,

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Speaker 1: I'm not wearing socks right now. When we socks, I'm

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Speaker 1: in New York. When Raleigh, when I wear when I

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Speaker 1: wear socks, I do prefer red socks. All right, I

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Speaker 1: am in socks is a sponsor of the Marvin MQ

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Speaker 1: Show for many years. I'm in New York. I'm a

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Speaker 1: New York guy. Sox. We do all the thinking for you.

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Speaker 1: Why I choose a color when it's red red sox?

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Speaker 1: All right? Marvin? Alright, I remember, Marvin, if you'd like

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Speaker 1: to save one of these calls, were set up a

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Speaker 1: special bank and you can name the bank whatever you want. Okay,

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Speaker 1: So for playing back later. We live on the air

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Speaker 1: now we are okay, yeah, great, So everyone's hearing you

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Speaker 1: giving me notes. I don't think these are notes. I'm

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Speaker 1: taking them his notes. Yes, Yes, is Marvin m you're

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Speaker 1: on the You're in the Marvin MQ. I'm in the cure.

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Speaker 1: I'm on the show. You're on the show. I know you.

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Speaker 1: I'm disguising my voice. I'm trying to Okay, so, uh well,

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Speaker 1: I didn't expect you to guess so fast. What time

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Speaker 1: is it where you It's three nineteen? All right, we

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Speaker 1: are in sync. Okay, it's a pizza on the way.

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Speaker 1: What do you got? What you got? Where you are?

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Speaker 1: Where are you calling from? My house? Sure? And your name?

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Speaker 1: It's a condo? Is that Italian? Is this Marie condo? Oh?

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Speaker 1: I wish, I hope I could spark joy I'm calling.

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Speaker 1: I'm calling because I have a crush on someone. I

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Speaker 1: don't know how to tell them. Okay, that's tough. He

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Speaker 1: has beautiful ankles. Hm. You know people often compliment me

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Speaker 1: on my ankles when I'm not wearing my red socks. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: what what else is about it? Is true about him?

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Speaker 1: What else is true about him? What a beautiful question.

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Speaker 1: He's a poet, he's but his feet show it. They're longfellows.

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Speaker 1: Oh poetry related puns? Am I go to mom? I

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Speaker 1: I see this fellow at the library on Wednesday. Did

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Speaker 1: I go to the library on Wednesdays? Is this is

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Speaker 1: this fellow you're talking about me? If it was question,

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Speaker 1: how would I get you? How do I get you?

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Speaker 1: Is that the question? That's my question? Get off the jug. Well,

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Speaker 1: next time you're at the library, and maybe you need

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Speaker 1: to send the signal I've been trying. What are some

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Speaker 1: of the signals you've said? I have you ever noticed

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Speaker 1: the lady with no teeth? Okay, so you just want

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Speaker 1: to check this up for two days? You want to

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Speaker 1: check this up? Please quiet down, don't tell me the show.

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Speaker 1: Do you hold onto my shirt? Let go? What are

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Speaker 1: you doing, freak? I'm trying to check out a book

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Speaker 1: I need. I need this sex guide. Okay, this is

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Speaker 1: an advice show. Now I'm I'm out of the law business.

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Speaker 1: Don't need to check this out. This is just a

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Speaker 1: pamphlet of safe sex. Fact take this old karens are sex?

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Speaker 1: I love it? Do I still refer to you? Okay?

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Speaker 1: I don't remember that. Well, well, I apologize if I

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Speaker 1: treated you that way. It's okay. I I was trying

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Speaker 1: to create a scene. I didn't deserve your attention, but

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Speaker 1: I'd love to deserve your attention. Marvin. It sounds like

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Speaker 1: you've acquired teeth. I've gotten to my nephew. Oh you

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Speaker 1: got his teeth. No, I wish those are great, they're young.

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Speaker 1: These are fake. Well, I think you can kiss just

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Speaker 1: the same regardless, right, I can kiss better with him

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Speaker 1: out Marvin, Marvin, we were listening to your radio show.

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Speaker 1: I got pretty pretty fucked up. If I could just

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Speaker 1: be honest with you. Okay, you got pretty hot again?

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Speaker 1: Well subjective it was Red Sox upset. The Red Sox

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Speaker 1: is through the roof. All right, they're pulling sponsorship. Okay,

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Speaker 1: oh no, oh yes, are you think we're gonna have

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Speaker 1: our product on this fucking station? I understand, man, understand.

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Speaker 1: Started sweet, it went sexy, it got filthy. Understand. Look,

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Speaker 1: we're doing a live radio show here. Okay, it's three eighteen. Alright,

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Speaker 1: we're doing the best weekend. You talked to that motherfucker? Hey, Dave,

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Speaker 1: keeping my office for a second. Yeah, what's up? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: you're in charge of the Red Sox campaign, right, yeah?

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Speaker 1: On radio? On radio? Yeah? Have you heard the Marvin

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Speaker 1: MQ show. Well, they did a Red Sox ad. No, okay,

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Speaker 1: So my wife and I are driving a dinner last

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Speaker 1: night and this thing. I get it. You're married. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't mean to bring it up every time you do.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry about it. You're not married. Wish I was right,

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Speaker 1: so I started interrupted. I'm just taking orders for for

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Speaker 1: chicken or do you want roach of chicken? Because I do,

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Speaker 1: because you're married, I wanted you're not married' not married?

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Speaker 1: What do you mean? I'm not married? So just chicken

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Speaker 1: for us. I'm married, the marriage. I get some food, right,

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Speaker 1: I'll be back in a minute. Okay, so what's up? Yeah?

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Speaker 1: The ads are horror the live reads yea horrible. You

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Speaker 1: need to talk to whoever is in charge of the

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Speaker 1: station that he works out because my wife is humiliated.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, exactly. I can't have that again to read

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Speaker 1: those ads A real proa by the name of I

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Speaker 1: don't know his fucking name. Okay, this is all right.

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Speaker 1: Listen to people, all right, Like we run a business here.

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Speaker 1: Everyone's got to be married. Are you married? All right?

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Speaker 1: Everyone got to be married? Why did you look at me?

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Speaker 1: I'm married. I'm looking at everyone. You were looking at

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Speaker 1: me talking to you. I'm just respect you know that

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Speaker 1: I'm married, ted and my wife is in Canada right now.

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Speaker 1: I know that, all right, and uh Clark, Uh, well,

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Speaker 1: I'm I'm I'm just trying to find the right person.

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Speaker 1: It's I've dated and the thing is married. He was

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Speaker 1: you were married. I was very shortly married, but it

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Speaker 1: was it was kicking my leg or what are you doing? Sure,

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Speaker 1: don't kick my leg? Why don't don't? It's bruising. It's

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Speaker 1: hard to be married, it is. But we're a company

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Speaker 1: myself sucks to married people. For Mary, all right, you

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Speaker 1: married a nut, Clark, I'm no longer married. All right,

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Speaker 1: we have one last call for you. I'm stepping in

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Speaker 1: for Doug Paine, who don't worry about it. Where's call

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Speaker 1: for you? And we're going live. My name's Ebert and

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Speaker 1: I live in Laramie, Wyoming. Um. My wife, my wife

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Speaker 1: has been burying things in the backyard and there's people

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Speaker 1: missing in our neighborhood. What time is it there there?

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Speaker 1: I mean it's four or fifteen? Okay, Oh, that's strange.

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Speaker 1: It is strange. Did you not do you not have

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Speaker 1: one of those devices that automatically resets for daylight saving? No,

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Speaker 1: it doesn't, it doesn't. Okay, it's a wall clock I'm

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Speaker 1: looking at and I can't reach it. Alright, half you're wrong.

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Speaker 1: Do you have it like a step ladder? You can

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Speaker 1: get on? Sure? Okay, I'll give you time to get

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Speaker 1: the step. Close your eyes. I'm dragging something through here.

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Speaker 1: I don't want you to see it. Okay, all right,

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Speaker 1: I wish did you buy the bleach I asked for? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: they're bleaches under the sink. Thank you. I'm sorry. That

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Speaker 1: was my wife. She was tragging some garbage bags across

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Speaker 1: the floor. And you want to know where the bleach was.

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Speaker 1: So all your poisons labeled, Well, I don't know if

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Speaker 1: bleach is really a poison. Try drink against see how

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Speaker 1: that goes. I'd prefer not to, but I'll give it

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Speaker 1: a ship that was that was being facetious. Don't drink

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Speaker 1: the bleach? Well, is there a difference between something being

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Speaker 1: poisonous and being poisoned? Mr MQ. You realize you're in

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Speaker 1: some hot water. Yes, this is very relaxing. Well, we

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Speaker 1: wanted to relax before we sort of let you know

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Speaker 1: the scope of Parca. Enjoy this hot time. So maybe

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Speaker 1: your last So I'm sorry. I'm like to please do

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Speaker 1: not talk to my client until we have spoken. He's

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Speaker 1: a former he has a former jud right beyond, Jared,

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Speaker 1: your client got forty people to drink bleach. They think themselves.

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Speaker 1: I double there you on the air, and people can

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Speaker 1: be dead triple times if they'd like. My client is

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Speaker 1: a four judge. Jared's my roy Cone. Well, I don't,

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Speaker 1: I don't. Hey, Cindy thinks for coming back to my place.

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Speaker 1: I a quick little nightcap for us, if that's cool. Well,

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Speaker 1: I was listening to a radio show and I got

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Speaker 1: a little tip about something that might be spicy. Okay,

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Speaker 1: give me one second. Okay, close your eyes. Okay, Sean,

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Speaker 1: what the hell? What do you do in my apartment? Dude?

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Speaker 1: You said like a crash or what I need to hear?

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Speaker 1: Can I help? In my eyes? Eyes closed for one

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Speaker 1: Secon brought a date hearing me. I want to open

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Speaker 1: my eyes. Just hold on real quick. What the hell

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Speaker 1: is it? What do you have? Any of course? I

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00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:06,000
Speaker 1: got bleached? Want to drinking it? Almost man with the help? Fine, Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is my but he's my butler. He's my butler. Curious,

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00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,959
Speaker 1: I need this, I work out need this. He's my butler.

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00:18:15,600 --> 00:18:19,960
Speaker 1: And I was he was gonna make this up a drink? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: can I and how does that concern me? Exactly? Because

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00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:28,480
Speaker 1: ultimately they drank the bleach well I said on the show,

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00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:33,080
Speaker 1: I'm being facetious. Don't drink bleach. I had to step back,

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Speaker 1: triple dogs. Excuse me, excuse me. I had to step

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00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:37,440
Speaker 1: out for a minute. I did not hear what you said. Okay,

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00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,240
Speaker 1: so I am back now all right? Where did you

307
00:18:39,280 --> 00:18:41,600
Speaker 1: go to go out? I had to excrete myself, Thank

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00:18:41,600 --> 00:18:44,359
Speaker 1: you very much. I didn't want tolf Yes I did. Okay,

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00:18:44,680 --> 00:18:48,280
Speaker 1: you're an embarrassment. Am. I won't even pass the bar. No,

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Speaker 1: I didn't, but I got over it. Now let me

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Speaker 1: tell you something right now. It's a reptilian. He's gonna

312
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:54,760
Speaker 1: ship his skin like every hour. I can't help that.

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00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,720
Speaker 1: I'm from a different planet. But I'm like you. Your

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00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:05,119
Speaker 1: lawyer isn't a lawyer. He isn't lawyer? Galaxies. Where's the

315
00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,800
Speaker 1: hologram part? I don't see any hologram points? Do you

316
00:19:07,840 --> 00:19:10,960
Speaker 1: have one? Can we get a hologram port? I don't

317
00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:14,560
Speaker 1: run the case SPA and there is no hologram port

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00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:16,800
Speaker 1: that I'm aware of. Excuse me. My tail is full enough.

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Speaker 1: Can we get more bubbles here? There should be bubbly.

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00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,199
Speaker 1: I'm again. I don't run the case, hit the bubble buttons.

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Speaker 1: You're in big trouble, Marvin. We have time for just

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Speaker 1: one more call. Great, great, So I'm back on the air.

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Speaker 1: You are, yes, of course, good. Yeah, we've we've been

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00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,000
Speaker 1: on the AirLand this whole time. Of course. Yeah. But

325
00:19:35,240 --> 00:19:40,959
Speaker 1: my mind has been wondering. Yes, there's a calling now,

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00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:44,800
Speaker 1: Yes you are. You're on with Marvin mcque. The butler

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00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:48,720
Speaker 1: and the guy is dating there on the floor, and

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00:19:48,720 --> 00:19:54,600
Speaker 1: he said, okay, okay, i'd call a poison control center.

329
00:19:54,880 --> 00:20:00,199
Speaker 1: What's happening. What happened? Yeah, you'll know what's to do.

330
00:20:00,640 --> 00:20:04,760
Speaker 1: They were making a night cocktail, a cock to nightcap,

331
00:20:05,320 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 1: and the butler. The butler was wearing boxes and he

332
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,879
Speaker 1: was reaped, and I was like, oh my god, and

333
00:20:10,960 --> 00:20:13,480
Speaker 1: I like I was gonna cheers, and I cheers, but

334
00:20:13,520 --> 00:20:17,240
Speaker 1: I didn't drink it. You just from a dream, I

335
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:19,520
Speaker 1: don't think. So you're describing things that were happening. Now,

336
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:22,960
Speaker 1: it happened like three minutes at all. Where are you

337
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:29,240
Speaker 1: calling from. I'm calling from Alaska. Oh what time is it? There?

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Speaker 1: To fifteen? Wow? That is early, it's late. It's okay?

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00:20:35,560 --> 00:20:41,320
Speaker 1: Is still light out. It's always like that, when is

340
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:43,399
Speaker 1: it going to be night? Marvin? And why is the

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00:20:43,440 --> 00:20:46,280
Speaker 1: butler dying? So the question first and foremost is when

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00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 1: is it going to be nice? Well, uh, okay, I

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00:20:54,840 --> 00:20:58,520
Speaker 1: think six months, Like if wait six months, it's gonna

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Speaker 1: be nice. Okay. And then the butler question, Oh he's dead?

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00:21:03,720 --> 00:21:06,160
Speaker 1: Are you curious how she has a butler? I don't

346
00:21:06,200 --> 00:21:08,399
Speaker 1: have a butler. Actually I was on a date. It

347
00:21:08,480 --> 00:21:11,840
Speaker 1: was the second so I go back to the guy's place.

348
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:14,159
Speaker 1: But it wasn't It was his place, but the butler

349
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,680
Speaker 1: was there. But the butler was in a mood. But now,

350
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:20,919
Speaker 1: but now every they're both. I just moved to Lasco

351
00:21:21,080 --> 00:21:24,960
Speaker 1: last month, and this is like not what I wanted. Okay,

352
00:21:24,960 --> 00:21:27,640
Speaker 1: I'd get out of there. Okay. It sounds like the call,

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00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:29,920
Speaker 1: rather than to the Marvin MQ Show is to nine

354
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Speaker 1: one one. Can you do that? Sure? I can switch

355
00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:36,200
Speaker 1: you over? Okay, hold for nine one one operator? Please?

356
00:21:39,080 --> 00:21:43,159
Speaker 1: No one too? Oh no, I'm trying to call one

357
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:47,879
Speaker 1: forget great? Can you transfer me? Yeah? I guess what

358
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,520
Speaker 1: his name? Want to do? Can you help me this?

359
00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:51,800
Speaker 1: Of course I can help you. No one to Okay,

360
00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,320
Speaker 1: I'm in Alaska. There's two dead people here? Can I

361
00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,879
Speaker 1: write this down? To go on? What are you writing it?

362
00:21:57,920 --> 00:21:59,840
Speaker 1: I'm running down to dead people? What else you need? Quickly?

363
00:22:00,119 --> 00:22:03,200
Speaker 1: A pen? Yes, I'm more of a computer. We don't

364
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,440
Speaker 1: get that kind of well, well, well if it isn't

365
00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 1: the nine one two pussies just trying to do. Is

366
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:19,240
Speaker 1: our cafeteria one boys here, the real emergency boys. Sometimes

367
00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 1: sometimes they need an overflow and we do a good

368
00:22:21,600 --> 00:22:23,600
Speaker 1: job with it. Oh is that right? Who told you

369
00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,640
Speaker 1: to get out of here? You little son of a bitch? Alright? Pop?

370
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:29,719
Speaker 1: Quiz that one too? Someone gets shot? What do you do?

371
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,960
Speaker 1: Write it down? So alright, that's pretty good. Okay, so

372
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:37,280
Speaker 1: you got one right? What about fucking building fire? Second?

373
00:22:38,200 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 1: There's a building fire caused by fucking Is that what

374
00:22:40,480 --> 00:22:43,440
Speaker 1: you're saying? What are you talking about? We don't. We don't.

375
00:22:43,720 --> 00:22:46,200
Speaker 1: I never said you did. I don't even. We don't

376
00:22:46,240 --> 00:22:51,480
Speaker 1: even we both have we hold up. Let's let's write

377
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:55,560
Speaker 1: this down. Okay, I'm gonna write this now. No, no

378
00:23:00,320 --> 00:23:03,960
Speaker 1: hull came right now? Is a friendly hug? Is that? Okay?

379
00:23:04,160 --> 00:23:10,120
Speaker 1: Make a note of that fucking hug. Fucking huck, fucking huck. No,

380
00:23:11,520 --> 00:23:17,040
Speaker 1: excuse me, librarian, I wouldn't renew this sex pamphlet. Yes, again,

381
00:23:17,080 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 1: it's just a pamphlet. Excuse me, excuse me. I'm trying

382
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 1: to renew this sex family. You don't need to renew it.

383
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:27,840
Speaker 1: It's it's just a hello. Oh, I dropped my teeth.

384
00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,480
Speaker 1: Excuse me when I picked him up? And I'm going

385
00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,760
Speaker 1: to call look great, down on my butt hole? Man,

386
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:38,920
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call security. No, you're not what is this monstrosity?

387
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:45,880
Speaker 1: Marguerite one one? You can? Can you transform your nine

388
00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 1: one to well? Do really quick? Be sure I can't

389
00:23:48,560 --> 00:23:51,919
Speaker 1: help you out. Maybe there's a woman over here's one

390
00:23:52,119 --> 00:23:57,360
Speaker 1: for sure, alright, and we're transferring now. Hello, Okay, there's

391
00:23:57,400 --> 00:23:59,720
Speaker 1: no one on the line. It's still me. I think

392
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:02,199
Speaker 1: I think I can handle it. So you're not well,

393
00:24:02,240 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 1: there's a woman here who dropped her teth and she's

394
00:24:03,600 --> 00:24:10,200
Speaker 1: showing her but it's hard, that's but but but how

395
00:24:10,200 --> 00:24:12,159
Speaker 1: can I help you you by transforming? And I want

396
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:16,040
Speaker 1: to please, all right, find trans right now? Thank you? Yes,

397
00:24:16,040 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 1: I have a woman here is showing her teeth and

398
00:24:17,600 --> 00:24:20,080
Speaker 1: her buttle showing her teeth, she's losing her teeth and

399
00:24:20,119 --> 00:24:22,960
Speaker 1: then her buttles being shown picking my ankles. I just

400
00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 1: need someone, Okay, let me just quick. I'm a little confused,

401
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:32,800
Speaker 1: but whole teeth and I can't think of a better

402
00:24:32,840 --> 00:24:40,520
Speaker 1: way transition to a live read ADS. It's gonna be

403
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 1: super excited to find themselves placed so gently. I believe Chris,

404
00:24:47,320 --> 00:24:49,160
Speaker 1: you're going to leave us a yeah, that's right, because listen,

405
00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,879
Speaker 1: here's the deal. Casper products are cleverly designed to mimic

406
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:57,359
Speaker 1: human curves. That means anyway you're built, the mattresses can

407
00:24:57,440 --> 00:25:00,960
Speaker 1: handle that. They provide supportive comfort for all hinds of bodies,

408
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:06,080
Speaker 1: even Joey's, especially Joey's. And if you don't believe it,

409
00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 1: guess what. There are over twenty thousand reviews and an

410
00:25:09,680 --> 00:25:12,359
Speaker 1: average of four point eight stars. That's out of five

411
00:25:12,480 --> 00:25:16,399
Speaker 1: folks from Casper, from Amazon, from Google. Yeah, Casper is

412
00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:19,720
Speaker 1: becoming the Internet's favorite mattress and honey, the internet is huge. Yeah,

413
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Speaker 1: it's blow up. Yeah. Casper offers three other mattresses. The

414
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415
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Speaker 1: mirror the natural shape of your body, even joys, especially Joey.

416
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Speaker 1: It's a natural body that he has. The Essential has

417
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Speaker 1: a streamlined design at a price that won't keep you

418
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Speaker 1: up at night. I can't tell you how many times

419
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Speaker 1: I've woken with night terrors over purchases I've shouldn't made,

420
00:25:46,080 --> 00:25:48,720
Speaker 1: but I don't. I don't sweat over a Casper bed purchase.

421
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Speaker 1: And they got the hybrid, combined the pressure relief of

422
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Speaker 1: the award winning foam with durable yet gentle spring affordable

423
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Speaker 1: prices because Cast cuts out the middleman and sells directly

424
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425
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426
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:13,719
Speaker 1: hell did they do that? Size box? Free shipping and

427
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Speaker 1: returns in the US and Canada. You can be sure.

428
00:26:18,680 --> 00:26:21,639
Speaker 1: Let me try that again. You can be sure? Come on,

429
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,880
Speaker 1: you got this. You can be sure of your purchase

430
00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:31,160
Speaker 1: with Casper's one hundred night risk free sleep on it trial. Joey,

431
00:26:31,200 --> 00:26:33,399
Speaker 1: what does that mean to you? Sleep on a trial?

432
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,679
Speaker 1: Sleep on a trial means that you can sleep on

433
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:38,159
Speaker 1: Let's see if it fits your body, and if you

434
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,119
Speaker 1: sleep well with it, you keep it. If you don't.

435
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,920
Speaker 1: Hundred nights and think of how many days that is

436
00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:50,280
Speaker 1: the overseas the trial, Yes, yes, there is. Would you

437
00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:52,520
Speaker 1: like to be on the jury. Yes, that's why you're asking.

438
00:26:52,880 --> 00:26:56,240
Speaker 1: All right, take a number. Uh now, Joey, I'm gonna

439
00:26:56,280 --> 00:26:59,320
Speaker 1: come to you for this personal experience because you guys

440
00:26:59,440 --> 00:27:03,040
Speaker 1: got a Asper mattress. We did, so roll out the

441
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 1: process for us. Please get the box all right, it

442
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:08,119
Speaker 1: shows up at your shows up at your door. Crazy,

443
00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 1: pop it open, the mattresses in there, and then in

444
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:15,600
Speaker 1: there it's rolled up. It's insane, it's nuts. And then

445
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,679
Speaker 1: you cut it open and the mattresses there and just

446
00:27:17,920 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 1: throw it on your box room or wherever you got before,

447
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:23,680
Speaker 1: wherever it's a mattress and you sleep on it immediately.

448
00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:26,719
Speaker 1: It's fantastic. Immediately. Yeah, you can go to bed right

449
00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,840
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450
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,280
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451
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452
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453
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454
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455
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Speaker 1: hundred dollars towards Select mattresses by Casper dot com slash Alchemy,

456
00:27:54,040 --> 00:27:58,359
Speaker 1: and thank you for supporting this show. Alright, let's start

457
00:27:58,359 --> 00:28:04,159
Speaker 1: with CE number two. I've got your attention? Hey why not? Um?

458
00:28:04,200 --> 00:28:07,080
Speaker 1: Oh this is good. This actually comes from Realm from

459
00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:12,280
Speaker 1: the UK, who who wrote, Hi, I have been listening

460
00:28:12,320 --> 00:28:15,359
Speaker 1: to you guys show for quite a while. Now I

461
00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:18,440
Speaker 1: have you guys to thank for keeping me sane during

462
00:28:18,560 --> 00:28:23,960
Speaker 1: soul crushing finals, and now that I've graduated, I guess

463
00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 1: we get credit for that, right right, soul crushing work. Joking.

464
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:30,560
Speaker 1: I love my job really, Mostly, I have to say,

465
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,560
Speaker 1: it amazes me still how much you guys are able

466
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 1: to derail every single scenario that suggested. I mean, for example,

467
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,520
Speaker 1: a kid's TV show ending with a psychological damage nine

468
00:28:41,640 --> 00:28:45,160
Speaker 1: year old who thinks he's an octopus unintentionally killing himself.

469
00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:49,960
Speaker 1: I think we all remember that, right enough, set, I

470
00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:53,239
Speaker 1: find myself pondering about various scenarios to pitch, and then

471
00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:56,720
Speaker 1: he offered like seven different choices. I chose the one

472
00:28:56,880 --> 00:29:00,440
Speaker 1: least like any other scene would ever done before. And

473
00:29:00,520 --> 00:29:03,200
Speaker 1: it goes like this. An alien couple who has spent

474
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,400
Speaker 1: a lifetime watching Earthlings finally lens and tries to pest

475
00:29:06,440 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 1: themselves off as human. Keep doing what you guys do best,

476
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 1: m from England. All right, so this is the last

477
00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,720
Speaker 1: house we're gonna show you. This looks fantastic. Yeah. Um,

478
00:29:17,920 --> 00:29:23,440
Speaker 1: as you can see, the entryway is quite sizeable, are you?

479
00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:27,240
Speaker 1: I'm just I love this house. I would love to

480
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,360
Speaker 1: cook food that I will eat with my mouth and

481
00:29:29,480 --> 00:29:32,600
Speaker 1: digestive system here. Look, I'm a lawyer, okay, and I

482
00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 1: want to get this house. What kind of law practice?

483
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:38,560
Speaker 1: In several galaxies? Okay? I don't want to yes, all right,

484
00:29:38,600 --> 00:29:40,479
Speaker 1: I don't want to brag. Have you ever noticed when

485
00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,560
Speaker 1: you're eating food that your taste buds on your tongue

486
00:29:43,960 --> 00:29:47,400
Speaker 1: can help you taste the food. I love that about

487
00:29:47,480 --> 00:29:49,800
Speaker 1: my body. Are you guys? Hungry? That your way of

488
00:29:49,800 --> 00:29:51,360
Speaker 1: saying I would love to eat you. I would love

489
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 1: to rip your flesh from your body to me, and

490
00:29:55,240 --> 00:30:00,200
Speaker 1: we'd love to eat food at the grocery. Yeah. Do

491
00:30:00,240 --> 00:30:02,160
Speaker 1: you want to see some of the bedrooms? And there's

492
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:05,200
Speaker 1: upstairs only we bring our own pods. I sleep upside

493
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:09,000
Speaker 1: down and I sweat in the night a riot. Okay.

494
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,520
Speaker 1: So that was to number two's and you still haven't

495
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:16,400
Speaker 1: told me your drink order yet. I probably, uh what

496
00:30:16,880 --> 00:30:20,920
Speaker 1: slurpian a slurpie? You know what we've done. No, no, no, no, no,

497
00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 1: span babe, what are you doing? What are you doing?

498
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:25,720
Speaker 1: What are you doing? What are you doing? We wanted

499
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,920
Speaker 1: to live here? Yeah, yeah, okay, so I made concession. Yet, yeah,

500
00:30:29,000 --> 00:30:30,840
Speaker 1: I said I was gonna tearrible lot to be able

501
00:30:30,880 --> 00:30:33,040
Speaker 1: to breathe this oxygen. Yet I recognize that accident. You

502
00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,360
Speaker 1: can't say that, of course I can say that. Of course,

503
00:30:35,520 --> 00:30:38,800
Speaker 1: two of the most popular human drinks on the menu. Okay, yes,

504
00:30:38,960 --> 00:30:41,960
Speaker 1: where are you guys from Jersey? I'm from a galaxy

505
00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:47,880
Speaker 1: far oh man. I recognize that anywhere from the hotpoon system. Ye.

506
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 1: Do you know many cases I got back on the

507
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:59,360
Speaker 1: hotpoon system? They don't do this. I'll do this this right,

508
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 1: do right? Two? Number two is too human drinks and

509
00:31:02,920 --> 00:31:07,920
Speaker 1: uh napkin to wipe holes and from our skin is

510
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:09,600
Speaker 1: gonna fall off. We do not need a napkin. We

511
00:31:09,760 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: have to use a napkin. Okay, here, it's all it's

512
00:31:12,800 --> 00:31:15,720
Speaker 1: outside here, it's thirteen forty two. Please you'll see that

513
00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 1: couple over there by the counter. Yeah, they're bad, they're

514
00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,200
Speaker 1: they're just are you looking at them? Well, I mean

515
00:31:21,400 --> 00:31:23,840
Speaker 1: undernath their skin looks like you talk to us anymore

516
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,440
Speaker 1: for us an the restaurant. I'm just saying there's some

517
00:31:28,520 --> 00:31:32,360
Speaker 1: creeping family for us. I'm not oh my, because I

518
00:31:32,400 --> 00:31:34,120
Speaker 1: got two jobs now, I'm too good for y'all home.

519
00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,960
Speaker 1: I think that's something that's going on. Also, because you

520
00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:40,400
Speaker 1: got the Dr Phil vitamins. Look, I can afford what

521
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 1: I can afford, or you can buy your own damn

522
00:31:43,960 --> 00:31:50,680
Speaker 1: Dr Watch. I ain't God, dammit, Claire, I'm not gonna

523
00:31:50,840 --> 00:31:53,480
Speaker 1: be a city bitch like that. All right, I'm I'm dad.

524
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:58,320
Speaker 1: You're scaring us. Look, no one believes that you saw

525
00:31:58,320 --> 00:32:02,240
Speaker 1: a sliging saucer. No one believes it's from a harpoon galaxy.

526
00:32:02,400 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 1: No one believes you can feel the the electro mechantic

527
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:10,200
Speaker 1: waves and energy. We love you, We love you. I

528
00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:12,640
Speaker 1: know what I saw, Okay, And I'm sorry. If I'm

529
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:15,760
Speaker 1: ruining Thanksgiving, you're not ruining it. We're just we're scared.

530
00:32:16,320 --> 00:32:19,880
Speaker 1: We're scared that you're losing your mind. You're you're scared.

531
00:32:20,160 --> 00:32:25,360
Speaker 1: I'm scared they're infiltrating our town. And I'm scared that

532
00:32:25,480 --> 00:32:29,280
Speaker 1: the sweet potatoes are getting cold. So let's just Stacy,

533
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:32,480
Speaker 1: You're not blood family, Okay. I cannot listen to you

534
00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:38,960
Speaker 1: say that door. Hello, how do you do? Oh? Yeah, look,

535
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:43,640
Speaker 1: I just needed tomorrow some turkey because we sell break.

536
00:32:44,240 --> 00:32:45,840
Speaker 1: You know what I can do one better. We can

537
00:32:45,920 --> 00:32:49,680
Speaker 1: borrow you some turkey inside, borrow me something turkey inside. Hey,

538
00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:57,680
Speaker 1: Hi guys, Okay, okay, sorry, we're sorry about this. The

539
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,280
Speaker 1: aliens that came right out of that flying point at me.

540
00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 1: I don't know. This is our grandfather. He's my dad.

541
00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:07,760
Speaker 1: Some sweet potato pie. I do it with marshmallows, but

542
00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 1: I got another version without marshmallows in the oven. It

543
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:12,080
Speaker 1: can go either way. I would like to eat that

544
00:33:12,120 --> 00:33:20,440
Speaker 1: grandfather's eyes. It might be my eye. He's he's a lawyer.

545
00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,400
Speaker 1: But it's not funny. All right. A couple of things.

546
00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 1: My dad, his grandfather, is not feeling well today. Okay. Also,

547
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:28,040
Speaker 1: Cyndy over here is not actually related to us. She's

548
00:33:28,080 --> 00:33:33,080
Speaker 1: a family friend. That's a family friend. I am married. Still.

549
00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:36,240
Speaker 1: Grandpa's money, that's what's really happening. I love him, we

550
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:40,200
Speaker 1: have been married for thirty eight years. I'm not after

551
00:33:40,320 --> 00:33:42,680
Speaker 1: his money. He doesn't have money. All right. Oh here

552
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:45,640
Speaker 1: comes mom turkey money here it is. Everybody, be careful.

553
00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:49,080
Speaker 1: This is very hot Grandpa. You usually uh, you usually

554
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 1: cut the turkey, don'ty, We will just eat it as is.

555
00:33:52,320 --> 00:34:00,800
Speaker 1: Usually they're obviously a question. Who's got ten fingers on

556
00:34:00,920 --> 00:34:03,920
Speaker 1: their hands? Look at all that we have so much

557
00:34:03,960 --> 00:34:06,200
Speaker 1: in common? You did, but she ate that one off

558
00:34:06,280 --> 00:34:09,359
Speaker 1: last night like an idiot. You're supposed to keep him all.

559
00:34:09,440 --> 00:34:11,000
Speaker 1: That's what they do, keep getting the way of my

560
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 1: goddamn nor my hands. We gotta here at the Sclusive family,

561
00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:20,239
Speaker 1: we say grace before we eat. Mom, he just ate

562
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,759
Speaker 1: the whole fucking turkey, and I'm we're you know what,

563
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:25,719
Speaker 1: We're not going to let that ruin. Thanks getting to

564
00:34:27,400 --> 00:34:30,359
Speaker 1: thank I got that extra sweet potato canst rolling, Yeah,

565
00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:33,640
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you everybody for coming to Um. I

566
00:34:33,680 --> 00:34:35,840
Speaker 1: saw an alien and no one's believed me and my

567
00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:38,960
Speaker 1: family anonymous. What's the acronym of game for that alien?

568
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:40,920
Speaker 1: I saw an alien and no one believes me and

569
00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:45,560
Speaker 1: my my family anonymous. So uh, I just want us

570
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:48,160
Speaker 1: to know that everyone here is in a safe place

571
00:34:48,840 --> 00:34:52,200
Speaker 1: and that um you know, if you know, what are

572
00:34:52,200 --> 00:34:55,680
Speaker 1: you gonna do to stop him? Well, I mean it's

573
00:34:55,680 --> 00:34:57,320
Speaker 1: cold listening right now that we're building. I feel like

574
00:34:57,480 --> 00:34:59,880
Speaker 1: that's what it is. Uh, and sir, I have a

575
00:35:00,120 --> 00:35:01,879
Speaker 1: you don't don't need to say into the background. Um,

576
00:35:02,080 --> 00:35:05,480
Speaker 1: but uh yeah, so uh you know, I think I

577
00:35:05,560 --> 00:35:06,719
Speaker 1: think the best thing we can do to stop and

578
00:35:06,880 --> 00:35:09,200
Speaker 1: just make sure that that we stay human. You know,

579
00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:13,719
Speaker 1: I think that's a great idea. Look, as the treasurer

580
00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:16,920
Speaker 1: of the I S A A N B M A,

581
00:35:17,800 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 1: I feel that we could use a little more funding,

582
00:35:21,680 --> 00:35:24,279
Speaker 1: a little more funding for therapy, for therapy. I have

583
00:35:24,400 --> 00:35:28,279
Speaker 1: a question. So, like one of your frowns, I'll talk

584
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:31,399
Speaker 1: about saying my son, comma alien. They're also taking these

585
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 1: rominans that I got off to. Man. They like that, man,

586
00:35:37,080 --> 00:35:38,680
Speaker 1: and they like that. You know, I'm not I'm not

587
00:35:38,719 --> 00:35:44,600
Speaker 1: a goddamn alien because I'm all right. Can we break

588
00:35:44,600 --> 00:35:47,319
Speaker 1: it up? Actually, she does bring up a good point.

589
00:35:47,400 --> 00:35:49,719
Speaker 1: I think we should all care do the proof or

590
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:54,440
Speaker 1: not an alien movement? Obviously we know aliens cannot uh clap,

591
00:35:55,239 --> 00:36:00,120
Speaker 1: so clap. I don't know, I don't know how they're made. Okaye,

592
00:36:00,239 --> 00:36:02,040
Speaker 1: claps go around the room, clops go around the room.

593
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:06,319
Speaker 1: All right, we are safe. We're safe. Well, they can

594
00:36:06,680 --> 00:36:09,160
Speaker 1: touch their hands together, they just don't have rhythm. That's

595
00:36:09,200 --> 00:36:11,960
Speaker 1: exactly right. Welcome. So I guess the clap is kind

596
00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:16,960
Speaker 1: of I never considered clap rhythm. That's always more than

597
00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 1: who's here? Ever seen the movie The Thing? Corrosa film critic?

598
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:29,800
Speaker 1: Anyone ever seen the Thing? Everybody has unlock paths of lifestyles.

599
00:36:31,480 --> 00:36:33,239
Speaker 1: You're the poor sum of bit I've ever seen my

600
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:36,640
Speaker 1: goddamn alright, alright, no more? You know the I S

601
00:36:36,760 --> 00:36:39,840
Speaker 1: A A, N B M A is a place of support.

602
00:36:40,160 --> 00:36:42,520
Speaker 1: Now we have a new member who walked in. We'd

603
00:36:42,560 --> 00:36:47,320
Speaker 1: like to hear his name. Welcome him. He sounds like

604
00:36:47,320 --> 00:36:52,320
Speaker 1: an alien, by the way, he's not welcome. That's a

605
00:36:52,400 --> 00:36:56,279
Speaker 1: good one. My name is Rick. I live right here

606
00:36:56,280 --> 00:37:02,000
Speaker 1: in town. Uh uh, I live on Waveland. Let's go,

607
00:37:03,760 --> 00:37:05,480
Speaker 1: let's go, let's go. Should we go? Should we do

608
00:37:05,560 --> 00:37:08,760
Speaker 1: the meeting there? Why we're all here? Now? Why wouldn't

609
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,960
Speaker 1: we go to another place? It's probably actually got a recline?

610
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:15,640
Speaker 1: Or won't you Rick? Anyway, I'm not sure if this

611
00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:18,200
Speaker 1: is the right meeting. I think it might be. Are

612
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:20,560
Speaker 1: you feeling pressure from your family? Do they not believe

613
00:37:20,600 --> 00:37:23,400
Speaker 1: the things that you've seen? Well, they didn't. But then

614
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:27,920
Speaker 1: two aliens came to dinner and clearly revealed themselves of

615
00:37:27,960 --> 00:37:32,919
Speaker 1: alien and now people in my family. Yeah, listen, you can't.

616
00:37:33,000 --> 00:37:35,879
Speaker 1: You can't walk BArch into this, into the sacred room

617
00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:40,239
Speaker 1: and then lie to our faces. Alien did his ass

618
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:45,640
Speaker 1: what they look like? Well, they look like people. Okay,

619
00:37:45,840 --> 00:37:50,080
Speaker 1: what would it tell tales that? Well one of them

620
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:58,000
Speaker 1: sucked an entire turkey into his mouth? What my mouth?

621
00:37:58,040 --> 00:38:00,680
Speaker 1: I'm a serman, you know what? Maybe you were right, sir.

622
00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:04,320
Speaker 1: Maybe this isn't the place for you. Which group is this? Damned?

623
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:06,600
Speaker 1: You look so upset? Did they not believe you at

624
00:38:06,640 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 1: the meeting? No? I need now to join a support

625
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:14,320
Speaker 1: group for but it sounded like the perfect group of people.

626
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:16,480
Speaker 1: You were right? How much more right can we tell

627
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,640
Speaker 1: you you were? Those aliens should get the funk out

628
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,239
Speaker 1: of our neighborhood. Thank you, Thank you for always on

629
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,280
Speaker 1: his side for what it's worth it. Maybe your stepmother, Becky,

630
00:38:24,760 --> 00:38:26,719
Speaker 1: you are my own age, Okay, so I don't want

631
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:28,919
Speaker 1: to call your stepmother. Well I've been around for thirty

632
00:38:29,000 --> 00:38:32,479
Speaker 1: four years, so yeah, you're thirty four years old. That's great.

633
00:38:33,800 --> 00:38:36,520
Speaker 1: I'm so em kidding. I'm kidding. That wasn't funny? Well,

634
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:38,879
Speaker 1: would you know what else to say? That wasn't funny? Okay,

635
00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:45,800
Speaker 1: that wasn't funny. Thank you do command coming into aliens.

636
00:38:45,880 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 1: Please receive communication. Yeah, we got it. Communication. You have

637
00:38:51,640 --> 00:38:57,320
Speaker 1: six hours. Still everything goes there a issue with the transmission.

638
00:38:57,360 --> 00:38:58,959
Speaker 1: There seems to be some break in between that would

639
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:03,080
Speaker 1: want kaboom kaboom. We need a big kaboom in six hours?

640
00:39:04,719 --> 00:39:07,360
Speaker 1: M or is the kaboom being generated by an external aliens?

641
00:39:07,560 --> 00:39:12,839
Speaker 1: External external aliens doing this message? Who's that messages? It's

642
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:16,200
Speaker 1: me scorn. Yeah, ship must be going down if you

643
00:39:16,280 --> 00:39:19,080
Speaker 1: doing messages? All right, get up my back. Six hours

644
00:39:19,200 --> 00:39:22,560
Speaker 1: till kabood? Score? Can you came him into my office?

645
00:39:22,560 --> 00:39:26,480
Speaker 1: But yeah, what's up? Um? I just read the transcripts

646
00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:29,719
Speaker 1: back from the message you sent down to clinking and

647
00:39:29,840 --> 00:39:35,320
Speaker 1: spanking on the earth surface. Yeah, yeah, what's this kaboom?

648
00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:40,200
Speaker 1: I'm not great at my job. Well, my uncle works here,

649
00:39:40,280 --> 00:39:42,800
Speaker 1: obviously you know him, and he's given me a shot.

650
00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,440
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, No, Reggie's the reason you got this job.

651
00:39:45,560 --> 00:39:48,920
Speaker 1: There's no question about that. I'm not confident in my abilities.

652
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,719
Speaker 1: Well let's work on that. That's what I'm trying to do. Yeah.

653
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:53,359
Speaker 1: So the first thing I would do is take your

654
00:39:53,400 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 1: hands away from your mouth. Oh yeah, see now you

655
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,840
Speaker 1: can speak a little more freely. Try to take a

656
00:39:58,880 --> 00:40:02,840
Speaker 1: boom now ka boom see much less. Uh. Look, I

657
00:40:02,920 --> 00:40:04,560
Speaker 1: can't just get you a job. Okay, I've got you

658
00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:07,080
Speaker 1: got another nephew or whatever the funk it is in there. Okay,

659
00:40:07,680 --> 00:40:09,320
Speaker 1: so just do your work and if you get it,

660
00:40:09,320 --> 00:40:10,960
Speaker 1: if you get up, you get up. All right. Let

661
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,600
Speaker 1: me get some more terse and crystals please? Thank you?

662
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 1: Are you married? Yes, I'm married. Yes. Look, if you

663
00:40:18,520 --> 00:40:19,880
Speaker 1: want a job, you're gonna have to get it yourself.

664
00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,279
Speaker 1: I can't just keep pushing family members through. All right.

665
00:40:22,480 --> 00:40:24,719
Speaker 1: I need a job. You're gonna have to get it

666
00:40:24,760 --> 00:40:27,280
Speaker 1: your uncle. Can I get some more rise and crystals?

667
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:33,640
Speaker 1: Uncle from a third reptile? Okay, we're not that close. No,

668
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:36,000
Speaker 1: my mother said that you guys were so close and

669
00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:37,520
Speaker 1: then you had that balling out and I need it

670
00:40:37,640 --> 00:40:41,640
Speaker 1: all well we fell out. Okay, I ate two birds

671
00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:44,080
Speaker 1: this morning. Can I get some tursey and crystals? Please?

672
00:40:44,160 --> 00:40:48,319
Speaker 1: All right? Just follow my lead. Hi, we're aliens. Um.

673
00:40:49,480 --> 00:40:55,839
Speaker 1: Can we order a number dash dash dash Yeah, I'll

674
00:40:55,880 --> 00:40:58,839
Speaker 1: have a dash dash dash as well. This is going well,

675
00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:03,360
Speaker 1: this is going well. Get shirt? Uh? Yes, please? Do

676
00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:13,479
Speaker 1: you want to take this one phil that went well,

677
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:17,000
Speaker 1: that went well, that's somehow he understood me. No, we

678
00:41:17,160 --> 00:41:19,320
Speaker 1: are in okay, now we have five hours, gets you

679
00:41:19,400 --> 00:41:24,759
Speaker 1: boys a drink? Yeah, we'll take the most popular alien drinks.

680
00:41:26,040 --> 00:41:29,839
Speaker 1: You got it. We're not from Earth. Nope. Five hours

681
00:41:29,920 --> 00:41:33,800
Speaker 1: until we made this whole place go operation boom. We

682
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:37,680
Speaker 1: were trusted with this gig. Okay, this looks delicious, This

683
00:41:37,800 --> 00:41:39,840
Speaker 1: does look good. I don't do we put it in

684
00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 1: our mouths? Excuse me? Where does this go? What do

685
00:41:43,719 --> 00:41:48,520
Speaker 1: you mean that's right? Are you asking? If it just

686
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:51,080
Speaker 1: it's because it's kind of gassy and floating and I

687
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 1: wasn't you know, we'll just pull out your nipple tube? Right?

688
00:41:57,000 --> 00:41:59,440
Speaker 1: Does you want to try something? I have to have

689
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:04,320
Speaker 1: his appens. We can't access our our nipple. To access

690
00:42:04,400 --> 00:42:09,320
Speaker 1: your nipple tupes for you boys us a few dolls

691
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:14,720
Speaker 1: extra access to nipple. But we don't have a nipple tube.

692
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:19,719
Speaker 1: That's the bad part. American dollars right right, of course,

693
00:42:19,760 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 1: not American dollars that would be observed. Let me take that. Yes,

694
00:42:25,880 --> 00:42:31,000
Speaker 1: I have it. Okay, well, also have you with me?

695
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:33,799
Speaker 1: If you want to access your nipple tubes, you're gonna

696
00:42:33,800 --> 00:42:37,399
Speaker 1: have to what's going on? Everything? Alright, Crystal? Now these

697
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:40,120
Speaker 1: are trying to access you know, they want me to

698
00:42:40,160 --> 00:42:42,080
Speaker 1: access to the nipple tubes because they say they keep

699
00:42:42,719 --> 00:42:45,560
Speaker 1: tailors all the time. The gas stuff is flowing, and

700
00:42:46,239 --> 00:42:48,839
Speaker 1: he's trying to give me American currency and he's talking

701
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:52,120
Speaker 1: about I don't have American Let me see your back

702
00:42:52,200 --> 00:42:56,800
Speaker 1: hooks are back hooks? All right? Jig's up? We accelerate.

703
00:42:57,360 --> 00:43:09,680
Speaker 1: What were you coming? Puss the ball for our final

704
00:43:09,760 --> 00:43:14,799
Speaker 1: scene today. It comes from Haley, who wrote, my sister

705
00:43:14,880 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 1: and I finally convinced our widowed mother to move closer

706
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:19,799
Speaker 1: to us. After two years of bugging her, she finally

707
00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:22,320
Speaker 1: put her house on the market. The problem is she

708
00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:24,959
Speaker 1: put it on the market for twice what it's worth.

709
00:43:25,160 --> 00:43:28,160
Speaker 1: We asked her to rethink it, but she refuses. Also

710
00:43:28,239 --> 00:43:30,520
Speaker 1: recently informed me that she does not plan to leave

711
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:34,040
Speaker 1: the house when potential buyers come to view, and will

712
00:43:34,400 --> 00:43:36,880
Speaker 1: just move to the next room when they come in.

713
00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:40,239
Speaker 1: She said. I told her that was insane, and now

714
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:42,320
Speaker 1: she's mad at me. I would love to hear a

715
00:43:42,360 --> 00:43:46,480
Speaker 1: funny spin I'll bet you would on this really frustrating situation.

716
00:43:46,560 --> 00:43:49,279
Speaker 1: I recently got a promotion, so I can't listen to

717
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 1: podcasts all day at work anymore like I used to.

718
00:43:52,360 --> 00:43:54,680
Speaker 1: But I've kept Alchemy this on my list of faiths,

719
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,160
Speaker 1: and I always listen when I can keep up the

720
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:02,920
Speaker 1: good work. Thanks Alchemists. Haley from Austin, uh So, we're

721
00:44:02,920 --> 00:44:04,960
Speaker 1: going to show you the house. This looks like an

722
00:44:05,080 --> 00:44:08,040
Speaker 1: r V. This looks like an r V. There is

723
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:11,719
Speaker 1: no way there's three bedrooms. I don't want to have

724
00:44:11,760 --> 00:44:13,680
Speaker 1: a bad attitude, but I'm not gonna waste my time

725
00:44:14,000 --> 00:44:16,360
Speaker 1: going into this mobile. We can afford what we can afford,

726
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:18,680
Speaker 1: and we can afford this. We try to enjoy that

727
00:44:18,880 --> 00:44:24,719
Speaker 1: train card design. Cute. It's on a foundation. You'll be

728
00:44:24,800 --> 00:44:28,080
Speaker 1: able to own the land for ninety nine years. What

729
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:33,360
Speaker 1: shill certainly will be your lifetimes. What happens what happens

730
00:44:33,360 --> 00:44:34,719
Speaker 1: at the end of the term. But wait a second,

731
00:44:34,760 --> 00:44:36,719
Speaker 1: don't even think about that. Shouldn't it just be ours

732
00:44:36,760 --> 00:44:38,520
Speaker 1: to give to our kids? Sure, and they can have

733
00:44:38,640 --> 00:44:40,160
Speaker 1: it to the end of the ninety nine years, and

734
00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:43,040
Speaker 1: then it will come back to the state. To the state.

735
00:44:43,880 --> 00:44:47,040
Speaker 1: Is this a rental? No, No, let's purchase. But the

736
00:44:47,160 --> 00:44:50,120
Speaker 1: land itself is always owned by the This is our

737
00:44:50,400 --> 00:44:54,719
Speaker 1: first time homebuyers. And that's fine, that's fine, head. I

738
00:44:54,760 --> 00:44:57,360
Speaker 1: didn't understand. It doesn't make a lot of sense. I understand,

739
00:44:57,400 --> 00:44:59,120
Speaker 1: But we'll walk you through the whole process. Let's go

740
00:44:59,160 --> 00:45:00,680
Speaker 1: in and take a look. I do have to tell

741
00:45:00,680 --> 00:45:04,560
Speaker 1: you when we go inside. Well, god, damn, looking at here, huh.

742
00:45:05,760 --> 00:45:07,760
Speaker 1: I was just about to tell them that your mother's

743
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:09,640
Speaker 1: would probably let me tell you something right now, don't

744
00:45:09,760 --> 00:45:11,759
Speaker 1: have any Dr Phil pills, all right. That's just gonna

745
00:45:11,800 --> 00:45:14,040
Speaker 1: ruin your bank accounts, gonna ruin your skin. Look at this.

746
00:45:14,520 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 1: This is Dickie. He's the owner's son. Much chess. Look

747
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:22,239
Speaker 1: at this chess. Yeah, he will not be here time.

748
00:45:22,280 --> 00:45:23,839
Speaker 1: He won't be here when you own the house. He's

749
00:45:23,880 --> 00:45:26,439
Speaker 1: just here now. So you gotta look past a few things.

750
00:45:26,560 --> 00:45:28,800
Speaker 1: I'm planning on din here before y'all come in, and

751
00:45:28,840 --> 00:45:33,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna burying myself on the property, all right. Dickie

752
00:45:33,280 --> 00:45:36,120
Speaker 1: recently started a profession as a stand up comedian. Is

753
00:45:36,160 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 1: this some of your material? Not? Yeah, I don't want

754
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 1: to burn what I do for free, just off your

755
00:45:40,280 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 1: comedy albums. So this is the foyer, I guess. Yeah,

756
00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:46,239
Speaker 1: we're in the fire now and again, Dickie won't be

757
00:45:46,280 --> 00:45:48,800
Speaker 1: here when you want. Okay, this is larger than I

758
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:51,359
Speaker 1: thought it would be from the outside. Please don't touch

759
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:53,680
Speaker 1: any of those standing pools water, thank you very much.

760
00:45:54,680 --> 00:45:58,360
Speaker 1: I hadn't noticed those. Um there's there seems to be

761
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:02,520
Speaker 1: a little plumbing issue over here. This, it turns out

762
00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 1: not plumbing issues. That sounds like a plumbing issue of

763
00:46:06,400 --> 00:46:09,319
Speaker 1: just recently redone all I mean plumbing. If it's mine,

764
00:46:12,280 --> 00:46:13,960
Speaker 1: I think we should. Yeah, I think we should. Thank

765
00:46:14,000 --> 00:46:17,040
Speaker 1: you so sure you the master sweet, it's pretty outstanding.

766
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:19,279
Speaker 1: Tell you what before you go, and I'm fine if

767
00:46:19,320 --> 00:46:21,359
Speaker 1: you want to go. We want to take a peek

768
00:46:21,360 --> 00:46:24,200
Speaker 1: at the Master Swite. It's it's what we call the closer. Okay,

769
00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 1: all the way out here? Are you sure? Show us

770
00:46:27,680 --> 00:46:31,480
Speaker 1: the Master Swiss down this hole. It's a longer hole

771
00:46:31,520 --> 00:46:33,600
Speaker 1: than I can get from the outside. Just really looks

772
00:46:33,680 --> 00:46:35,920
Speaker 1: like an RV, I know, but it's it's big. I

773
00:46:35,960 --> 00:46:38,040
Speaker 1: didn't know you could fit so many reptiles in here.

774
00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:43,239
Speaker 1: Feast your eyes on the Oh my god, oh my god,

775
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:49,040
Speaker 1: that smell. Smell. I mean, the view is beautiful, but

776
00:46:49,239 --> 00:46:54,120
Speaker 1: the it's a it's a over a while ago overwhe Yeah,

777
00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:57,520
Speaker 1: it's a human carcass. You're smelling right there. Oh my god,

778
00:46:58,000 --> 00:47:02,360
Speaker 1: thank you for the We got everybody in my past

779
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:06,759
Speaker 1: but lost another one. Okay, this is great. You know

780
00:47:07,040 --> 00:47:09,560
Speaker 1: I'm trying to sell your mom's place because that's what

781
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:14,840
Speaker 1: she wants. Yeah, exactly, So I need help from the family.

782
00:47:15,040 --> 00:47:17,279
Speaker 1: You got it. I said, y'all could come in and

783
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:20,000
Speaker 1: when we appreciate that because you get Dickie to go

784
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:25,440
Speaker 1: somewhere else. No, no, he lives here, I understand. And

785
00:47:25,560 --> 00:47:28,239
Speaker 1: also the urine puddles. If there's anything we can do

786
00:47:28,320 --> 00:47:30,319
Speaker 1: with the urine puddles, I could tell him to try

787
00:47:30,360 --> 00:47:33,200
Speaker 1: to make it more in the corner. That's a start,

788
00:47:33,640 --> 00:47:35,400
Speaker 1: you know what, That's a start. I've got the oh

789
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:37,120
Speaker 1: my goodness to out front. They gotta be out front

790
00:47:37,120 --> 00:47:42,440
Speaker 1: by now. Please don't no the next if you lock

791
00:47:42,520 --> 00:47:45,239
Speaker 1: it down, the fants are fucking here, sweetheart. I think

792
00:47:45,400 --> 00:47:49,600
Speaker 1: this purchase will save our marriage. Frankly, I'm looking for

793
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:51,879
Speaker 1: anything to save the marriage. Well, you were also looking

794
00:47:51,920 --> 00:47:54,520
Speaker 1: for your secretary and you found her. Look that's in

795
00:47:54,600 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: the past, Cynthia. That's not happening anymore. Okay, I cut

796
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:01,080
Speaker 1: it off. She still were for me, but we're not

797
00:48:01,640 --> 00:48:05,400
Speaker 1: sleeping together. Are you looking at each other? Well, occasionally

798
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:07,399
Speaker 1: we have to look at each other and yeah, well

799
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:10,160
Speaker 1: this will help. Buying a new home will help a

800
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:16,480
Speaker 1: fresh start. Okay, I love you. I'm hello. Hello, Hello, Okay, great,

801
00:48:16,680 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm late. Sorry, I'm late. I hear the turners. Yes,

802
00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:26,680
Speaker 1: where are the turners? Martha? Martha? And great? So sorry

803
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:29,120
Speaker 1: I realized I called you Cynthia earlier. My secretary's name.

804
00:48:32,560 --> 00:48:35,080
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, Martha. Yes, this is my wife, Martha, my

805
00:48:35,120 --> 00:48:37,799
Speaker 1: secretary name Cynthia. She's not here to do the time.

806
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,600
Speaker 1: And I'm letting it slide because that was Call me

807
00:48:40,640 --> 00:48:41,880
Speaker 1: on it. Call me on it the next time I

808
00:48:41,920 --> 00:48:46,200
Speaker 1: do it. Sorry, I gotta take I gotta take this. Okay. Well,

809
00:48:46,320 --> 00:48:51,560
Speaker 1: so hey, having some problems at the office. Oh do

810
00:48:51,680 --> 00:48:58,600
Speaker 1: I need to be there if I'm gonna get fucked? Okay, okay,

811
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:00,960
Speaker 1: I'm I just got to do this. I'm gonna do

812
00:49:01,000 --> 00:49:04,320
Speaker 1: this thing for Cynthia, I mean, Martha. I love it

813
00:49:04,360 --> 00:49:12,360
Speaker 1: when you call him my name. It's legitimately alright. So

814
00:49:12,520 --> 00:49:17,239
Speaker 1: I was just okay, just telling Martha that, um. The

815
00:49:17,360 --> 00:49:21,160
Speaker 1: home itself is it's actually built in nineteen twenties by

816
00:49:21,200 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 1: the architect, the HP HP HP the architect built it. Yes,

817
00:49:28,600 --> 00:49:30,719
Speaker 1: so you're gonna know some things aren't as aligned as

818
00:49:30,719 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 1: they should be. But the aesthetic is gorge So it's

819
00:49:33,680 --> 00:49:37,239
Speaker 1: a it's a natural history monument. It's a natural Yeah, yeah,

820
00:49:37,239 --> 00:49:39,080
Speaker 1: I do, I do. I sorry, I I do. Gotta

821
00:49:39,080 --> 00:49:41,040
Speaker 1: get to the office pretty soon. What do you do?

822
00:49:41,200 --> 00:49:44,400
Speaker 1: What do you do? I'm I'm alwayer. Oh fantastic. I

823
00:49:44,520 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 1: love law all right, so I'll make excuse me. And

824
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:50,400
Speaker 1: it was littally inappropriate and I'm not trying to be

825
00:49:50,520 --> 00:49:53,400
Speaker 1: rude or start anything. But we're in a rocky position

826
00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:56,040
Speaker 1: right now, and you being flirty doesn't help the situation.

827
00:49:56,200 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 1: Just show us the house, okay. So yeah, we're hoping

828
00:50:01,960 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 1: that buying this house will save our marriage. Great, you

829
00:50:04,680 --> 00:50:06,200
Speaker 1: must get that. A lot that happens, A lot that

830
00:50:06,239 --> 00:50:10,839
Speaker 1: happen a lot. Have you seen it work? Yes? Yes, so, yes,

831
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:16,480
Speaker 1: it works. I'm sorry, I gotta, I gotta take this. Yes, so, hey,

832
00:50:17,320 --> 00:50:19,920
Speaker 1: I got a big problem. Oh well, what's the problem?

833
00:50:20,120 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 1: I got an empty body? Cavity? Oh which cavity is it?

834
00:50:26,160 --> 00:50:33,120
Speaker 1: There's actually three? Three? Alright, mine wondering. So I'm gonna

835
00:50:33,200 --> 00:50:36,960
Speaker 1: need you to get over here and fill these suckers up. Okay,

836
00:50:37,600 --> 00:50:39,400
Speaker 1: all right, okay, I just gotta do this thing for

837
00:50:41,440 --> 00:50:43,680
Speaker 1: I don't actually care about the square footage. I'm looking

838
00:50:43,719 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 1: for a marriage repair. Okay, just catching up here, What

839
00:50:47,880 --> 00:50:50,200
Speaker 1: did I miss? So we're just going over the other

840
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:52,160
Speaker 1: bones of the of the home, just so you know

841
00:50:52,440 --> 00:50:59,720
Speaker 1: who are they? Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay, okay,

842
00:51:00,000 --> 00:51:02,759
Speaker 1: says Mrs Williams. Okay, she is one of the home

843
00:51:02,960 --> 00:51:07,839
Speaker 1: woman thing. It's a live human is a live Mrs Williams. So, God,

844
00:51:07,880 --> 00:51:11,000
Speaker 1: it's like they've seen seven. There's smoke committed. Yes, she's

845
00:51:11,040 --> 00:51:14,000
Speaker 1: a smoke her. So this home is owned by her

846
00:51:14,200 --> 00:51:20,440
Speaker 1: and just because of hops, I am about to Mrs So,

847
00:51:20,760 --> 00:51:23,239
Speaker 1: she's in hospital. She can't be moved. Okay, she's got

848
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:27,480
Speaker 1: to stay inside the like HP Lovecraft. Yes, did you

849
00:51:27,560 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 1: know you're familiar with She's always thought of people knew

850
00:51:32,080 --> 00:51:35,839
Speaker 1: him to lose the master of the basement. Don't go downstairs,

851
00:51:36,000 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 1: that's right. So the basement it's a little flooded, and uh,

852
00:51:39,160 --> 00:51:41,279
Speaker 1: it seems that there is an abyss down there. We've

853
00:51:41,320 --> 00:51:43,880
Speaker 1: we sent a drone and it's gone down hundreds and

854
00:51:43,960 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 1: hundreds of feet without everyone will take it. Okay, we're

855
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:50,120
Speaker 1: trying to say great, Yes, you got to get to

856
00:51:50,239 --> 00:51:53,960
Speaker 1: the office. There's some there's a lot of holes that

857
00:51:54,080 --> 00:51:55,719
Speaker 1: need to be filled. Baby, Thank you for taking the

858
00:51:55,800 --> 00:51:59,400
Speaker 1: first step. I appreciate it. Three exactly. I definitely know

859
00:51:59,440 --> 00:52:03,040
Speaker 1: what two of them are. Mr Turner. Mr. Can I

860
00:52:03,080 --> 00:52:05,239
Speaker 1: just talk to you before you get into your office? Yes? Yes,

861
00:52:05,360 --> 00:52:07,120
Speaker 1: what what? What is it? I just want to say,

862
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:09,160
Speaker 1: I thank you so much for helping me with my case.

863
00:52:09,560 --> 00:52:13,440
Speaker 1: Thank you so much help. When was that? When did

864
00:52:13,520 --> 00:52:17,239
Speaker 1: I help you last week? Right? Good? You got me

865
00:52:17,320 --> 00:52:20,080
Speaker 1: off paying ten thousand dollars I mean so much to me. Okay,

866
00:52:20,080 --> 00:52:22,640
Speaker 1: but then you gotta pay us? Right well I already did. Yes,

867
00:52:22,840 --> 00:52:24,759
Speaker 1: of course you did you. I took my fee and

868
00:52:25,040 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 1: gat So what did you want? I just wanted to

869
00:52:27,160 --> 00:52:29,239
Speaker 1: thank you so much. I really, I'm sorry. I gotta

870
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:30,879
Speaker 1: get it. I understand that you under staying that. Sorry.

871
00:52:30,880 --> 00:52:33,239
Speaker 1: I just just thank you again. You are so kind

872
00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:39,840
Speaker 1: and such a The butt is one of them. Sorry. Sorry,

873
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:44,319
Speaker 1: I'm so just thinking. Okay, uh, just can I get

874
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:45,799
Speaker 1: your ear for just a second. I got this case.

875
00:52:45,840 --> 00:52:49,959
Speaker 1: I just can't get the ear. Interesting, I just can't

876
00:52:50,320 --> 00:52:52,600
Speaker 1: close this case. Yeah, I need a little help of

877
00:52:52,640 --> 00:52:55,440
Speaker 1: the closing argument, is what I'm saying. Have you tried

878
00:52:55,480 --> 00:52:59,920
Speaker 1: Frankly versus Arkansas? Yes, that's perfect. There you go, Thank

879
00:53:00,000 --> 00:53:06,120
Speaker 1: you so much, Mr Turner. It's just that I've got

880
00:53:06,280 --> 00:53:07,880
Speaker 1: I've got to take the rest of the day off

881
00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:09,239
Speaker 1: because I've got to go to the dentist and get

882
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:12,239
Speaker 1: this cavity. Yes, good, good, take the rest of the

883
00:53:12,320 --> 00:53:18,560
Speaker 1: day off. Yes, okay, Hey you lawyer boy, Hey, get

884
00:53:18,640 --> 00:53:21,480
Speaker 1: the funk out of my way. Hold on, hold my

885
00:53:21,600 --> 00:53:25,800
Speaker 1: eye fell out? Okay, j Yeah, all right, and I

886
00:53:25,880 --> 00:53:29,600
Speaker 1: gotta just opened to alien stick your eye and yeah

887
00:53:29,680 --> 00:53:32,680
Speaker 1: they did. God dave me the first time. We've got

888
00:53:32,719 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 1: a class action suit going on right now. But there's

889
00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,680
Speaker 1: there's a hot shot guy coming in from Galaxy seven.

890
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:42,279
Speaker 1: You know they have an alien lawyer represent well, of

891
00:53:42,400 --> 00:53:45,440
Speaker 1: course they do, I guess. So well, anyway, do you

892
00:53:45,520 --> 00:53:47,560
Speaker 1: mind about just gonna sack up here and just take

893
00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:50,960
Speaker 1: a little nap outside your front door cooler? Sure? Yeah,

894
00:53:50,960 --> 00:53:56,520
Speaker 1: as long as you're outside. What it surpleause you? If

895
00:53:56,560 --> 00:54:00,560
Speaker 1: I told you? Okay, are you in side my head

896
00:54:00,680 --> 00:54:05,600
Speaker 1: right now? You will forever be tortured for your no. No,

897
00:54:07,239 --> 00:54:14,440
Speaker 1: oh god, I'm glad you're moved here, alright cthi cthing

898
00:54:14,480 --> 00:54:23,440
Speaker 1: out here? Oh god, what did you do? What happened

899
00:54:23,480 --> 00:54:28,879
Speaker 1: to happen? So Martha feel free, of course to bring

900
00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:30,520
Speaker 1: in whatever referring do you want, but it would have

901
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:34,279
Speaker 1: to be on top of Mrs Williamson's furniture. And there's

902
00:54:34,320 --> 00:54:39,959
Speaker 1: been a little issue. Okay, my husband's gone missing. Okay,

903
00:54:40,000 --> 00:54:41,520
Speaker 1: but you're still gonna pay for the home. Well if

904
00:54:41,520 --> 00:54:43,560
Speaker 1: there's no if there's no husband, then there's no marriage,

905
00:54:43,560 --> 00:54:47,520
Speaker 1: and there's no marriage, that there's no home. Okay, I

906
00:54:47,719 --> 00:54:50,759
Speaker 1: just all right, okay, yeah, that's fine. It's not fine,

907
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:52,400
Speaker 1: and that's okay to say it's not fine. It's not

908
00:54:52,480 --> 00:54:55,319
Speaker 1: fine because I needed this. I need what do you need?

909
00:54:55,840 --> 00:54:57,759
Speaker 1: I just needed to sale. Do you need the money? Yeah?

910
00:54:58,320 --> 00:55:00,640
Speaker 1: I have had a lot of money. I'm not gonna

911
00:55:00,680 --> 00:55:02,439
Speaker 1: take your money. I'll give your money. I just don't

912
00:55:02,480 --> 00:55:06,000
Speaker 1: have a great love. And that's something I'm coming to

913
00:55:06,120 --> 00:55:11,080
Speaker 1: terms with. What is what do you love myself? For

914
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:14,239
Speaker 1: the first time that why don't you spend money on that? Well,

915
00:55:14,280 --> 00:55:17,000
Speaker 1: the first thing I want to buy is whatever you

916
00:55:17,200 --> 00:55:23,680
Speaker 1: want to own? Money buy you something? Is this house

917
00:55:23,719 --> 00:55:28,759
Speaker 1: on the market I'm sorry interrupting. Nothing nothing, nothing, Yes,

918
00:55:28,840 --> 00:55:30,400
Speaker 1: this house is on the market. It was actually just

919
00:55:31,040 --> 00:55:33,840
Speaker 1: put up. It's a great place. I only have one handkerchief.

920
00:55:33,920 --> 00:55:36,880
Speaker 1: Can you guys share it to wipe your eyes? It's

921
00:55:36,920 --> 00:55:39,720
Speaker 1: a great place. Are you married? I'm no, I'm not married,

922
00:55:40,120 --> 00:55:42,520
Speaker 1: but I'm looking for a little place to make my own.

923
00:55:42,640 --> 00:55:48,080
Speaker 1: We're all looking, we're all looking. What's happening? I think

924
00:55:48,120 --> 00:55:51,000
Speaker 1: a love connection. You want to marry you and I

925
00:55:51,120 --> 00:55:56,839
Speaker 1: want to marry you. Can you? What do you say?

926
00:55:57,680 --> 00:56:00,759
Speaker 1: You're a single woman? I'm a single woman. Colored you

927
00:56:00,760 --> 00:56:03,400
Speaker 1: around the air? What's what's your problem? I'm in the

928
00:56:03,560 --> 00:56:07,560
Speaker 1: triple marriage in a hunted house, and we have our

929
00:56:07,600 --> 00:56:10,160
Speaker 1: furniture stacked on the other people's, which I thought wasn't

930
00:56:10,160 --> 00:56:11,400
Speaker 1: gonna be a big gilt, but it really is a

931
00:56:11,480 --> 00:56:15,040
Speaker 1: bumber because the chairs are wobbling and and the other

932
00:56:15,120 --> 00:56:18,759
Speaker 1: women love each other more than me. But I said yes,

933
00:56:19,000 --> 00:56:22,359
Speaker 1: and I sunk forty grand into this. Okay, we got

934
00:56:22,400 --> 00:56:25,759
Speaker 1: this question a lot. Okay, what do we do? What

935
00:56:26,120 --> 00:56:33,560
Speaker 1: time is it? There? Two? You just missed smoking ted?

936
00:56:34,239 --> 00:56:39,640
Speaker 1: What two minutes late to light one up? I don't

937
00:56:39,680 --> 00:56:43,799
Speaker 1: know what to do? Okay, Well, what are you wearing

938
00:56:43,880 --> 00:56:47,840
Speaker 1: on your feet right now. This episode is brought to

939
00:56:47,880 --> 00:56:51,080
Speaker 1: you by Red Sox because there are other colors, but like,

940
00:56:51,239 --> 00:56:55,200
Speaker 1: are there really Red Sox Marvin, we just got another

941
00:56:55,320 --> 00:56:56,800
Speaker 1: minute on the show. If you want to wrap it

942
00:56:56,920 --> 00:56:58,879
Speaker 1: up with this collar in any way you can offer

943
00:56:59,000 --> 00:57:01,680
Speaker 1: up some help. She's in uh flip flops, I take it,

944
00:57:02,400 --> 00:57:04,759
Speaker 1: miss and uh while she's in this triple marriage and

945
00:57:04,800 --> 00:57:07,160
Speaker 1: the furniture is on the furniture whatever you want to

946
00:57:07,200 --> 00:57:12,160
Speaker 1: throw at her. Okay, thanks for the notes. Does that

947
00:57:12,320 --> 00:57:15,359
Speaker 1: did cut considerably into the final minute of the show.

948
00:57:17,120 --> 00:57:22,320
Speaker 1: I think we still have time. Look, there's probably is

949
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:25,040
Speaker 1: there a Cathulhu in the basement of the of the

950
00:57:25,200 --> 00:57:29,320
Speaker 1: house HP Lovecraft, the noted writer, was also the architect

951
00:57:29,400 --> 00:57:32,480
Speaker 1: of that home, and the beast Cathul who is currently

952
00:57:32,560 --> 00:57:35,000
Speaker 1: living in the basement probably getting in the head and

953
00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:39,920
Speaker 1: offering demonic visions and utterances that people listening to. Now,

954
00:57:39,960 --> 00:57:42,760
Speaker 1: I would get out of that house and uh and

955
00:57:42,920 --> 00:57:46,040
Speaker 1: slip on some Red Sox are very comfortable and stylish.

956
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:49,880
Speaker 1: Where should I go? Red Sox dot Com for all

957
00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:52,880
Speaker 1: yours sock needs, well only one need, which is if

958
00:57:52,880 --> 00:57:55,400
Speaker 1: you need red socks, which you do, because like come on.

959
00:57:56,080 --> 00:58:00,720
Speaker 1: I love that tagline. Athe music tells us Marvin that

960
00:58:00,840 --> 00:58:03,400
Speaker 1: we're just about at a time. Thank you, caller, if

961
00:58:03,440 --> 00:58:05,600
Speaker 1: you'd like to stay on the on the phone there,

962
00:58:06,040 --> 00:58:09,000
Speaker 1: Marvin will take your finish up your call after the

963
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:10,920
Speaker 1: show ends. But we do need to wrap things up

964
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:17,120
Speaker 1: here in the studio. What Marvin, Yeah, that's that's a lie.

965
00:58:17,120 --> 00:58:22,520
Speaker 1: I don't finish up the calle talking. Oh look, who's home?

966
00:58:22,680 --> 00:58:25,640
Speaker 1: My sweetheart? I have to leave? What do you mean

967
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:31,960
Speaker 1: to leave? Drink this? What is drink this to the basement? Okay?

968
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:34,440
Speaker 1: Can we have one less host in the basement? Bring

969
00:58:34,520 --> 00:58:38,160
Speaker 1: her to the base? I guess I don't see why not? Wait, Csulu,

970
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:46,520
Speaker 1: you're in the basement now, you're gonna live here forever. Marvin,

971
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:50,400
Speaker 1: are you still there? Whatever you do, don't drink bleach. Okay,

972
00:58:50,600 --> 00:58:53,720
Speaker 1: And that's our show for today. Let's thank all of

973
00:58:53,800 --> 00:58:56,840
Speaker 1: our alchemists. Oh, Joey Greer, what can you tell us?

974
00:58:56,880 --> 00:58:59,640
Speaker 1: What do you want to say? I want to say? Yeah,

975
00:59:00,040 --> 00:59:02,920
Speaker 1: got Westside Comedy Theater, pretty pretty pony, we got what

976
00:59:03,280 --> 00:59:05,640
Speaker 1: orange tuxedough. We got barrassed by all great shows we

977
00:59:05,720 --> 00:59:07,040
Speaker 1: all play over there. Check that out? Check me on

978
00:59:07,120 --> 00:59:09,960
Speaker 1: Instagram at Jemmy Greeber. Check out Goodnight my album You're

979
00:59:09,960 --> 00:59:11,880
Speaker 1: gonna like it's funds to sketch comedy album with silly

980
00:59:11,880 --> 00:59:13,840
Speaker 1: as Ship. The number one album in the country right

981
00:59:13,880 --> 00:59:17,240
Speaker 1: when number fucking one. Congratulations on that. James Jeaney, you're

982
00:59:17,240 --> 00:59:19,520
Speaker 1: always armed with paper. I've brought some paper out. This

983
00:59:19,600 --> 00:59:24,320
Speaker 1: is where you can find me. That's just can't tell

984
00:59:24,400 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 1: literally the worst thing that's happened to my paper. You know,

985
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:29,280
Speaker 1: one of them to find you? You know your information,

986
00:59:33,000 --> 00:59:38,200
Speaker 1: Greig caw I guess, uh maybe Van Morrison's astro weeks. Okay,

987
00:59:38,240 --> 00:59:45,840
Speaker 1: I'll go with Ascar Twitter, Vanessa Hope or at donnastu

988
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:50,800
Speaker 1: typewriter on Instagram. Yeah. And Chris Alvarado, You're welcome. That's

989
00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:54,520
Speaker 1: exactly right. Let's thank our engineering, the stars, Richard doug By,

990
00:59:55,680 --> 01:00:00,600
Speaker 1: our post sound design artist, Raphael break To, and I

991
01:00:00,880 --> 01:00:06,200
Speaker 1: heard media it looks so good. I encourage all of

992
01:00:06,240 --> 01:00:08,080
Speaker 1: you to write a review. Tell everyone you've ever met

993
01:00:08,200 --> 01:00:10,000
Speaker 1: and write to us at your name here, and welcome

994
01:00:10,040 --> 01:00:12,000
Speaker 1: to this dot com. Until next time. I'm your host,

995
01:00:12,080 --> 01:00:14,439
Speaker 1: Kevin Polla. Remember yes,