Speaker 1: Welcome back to Good Mom's Bad Choices.
Speaker 2: I'm Erica and I'm Mila. Happy Wednesday, Happy Wednesday, Witches.
Speaker 1: It's top day, bitches. How you do Onceitches? I'm about
Speaker 1: to drop some fourth because my name is Erica and
Speaker 1: I could drive four Wow.
Speaker 2: That was beautiful.
Speaker 1: That's as far as it goes my mind. I'm high.
Speaker 1: So that's that's it.
Speaker 2: Guys, Welcome back to the show.
Speaker 1: Oh you know what, you know what? Sorry, I just
Speaker 1: remembered I've have been writing poetry again, so I think
Speaker 1: that maybe at some point I do need to bring
Speaker 1: back like my my wraps and my readings for my journal.
Speaker 3: Do we need to do like a poetry Slam episode?
Speaker 3: Because I have some very very emo poetry that I
Speaker 3: can dig up from my seventeen thousand journals that I
Speaker 3: have in my apartment.
Speaker 1: Should we? I think we should? Okay, Okay, I like that.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, right, yeah.
Speaker 1: Good Mom's Poetry Slam.
Speaker 3: Yes, Oh my god, it's so good. We could like
Speaker 3: put like snaps in the back. My name is jam.
Speaker 3: I didn't have a little lamb. Her fleece was not
Speaker 3: white as snow. She always wanted more.
Speaker 2: And I gotta work on it.
Speaker 3: But you know, yeah, ho ho ho ho ho ho ho.
Speaker 1: But it ain't Christmas, Oh nope, it's August.
Speaker 3: You know, I was a deep fucking poetry writer all
Speaker 3: throughout my teenage years, like deep as hell. I had,
Speaker 3: Like yeah, I had deep poetry aspirations. And I'm so
Speaker 3: glad that we've created a platform or we could do
Speaker 3: whatever the fuck we want, including bringing back our teenage.
Speaker 1: I knew that one day these would see the light
Speaker 1: of day.
Speaker 2: Do we need to have like a poetry show?
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe it's like a poetry after hours with good moms.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Lisa, I'm looking forward to this. I have some
Speaker 2: deep shit to say.
Speaker 1: You guys, she really is. She's just I saw you.
Speaker 1: Just think about what the one specific.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to the show.
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Speaker 2: How you doing, I'm good, I'm doing good, beautiful.
Speaker 1: I just noticed that your scarf matches your boots. It's
Speaker 1: giving like pop a pop of color.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I was gonna take the scarf off, but I said,
Speaker 3: I'm a fashion icon, so I'm gonna do two prints.
Speaker 1: No, it looks good. If you're on YouTube, make sure
Speaker 1: you check out Jamila's outfit. Wait, shake it up and
Speaker 1: show the people because remember the girl said she wants
Speaker 1: us to show her outfits more often.
Speaker 4: This is me and.
Speaker 1: Good Mom's bad choices YouTube. Okay, okay, don't. I was
Speaker 1: told I look like it's like I'm going to space.
Speaker 2: Here goes Erica.
Speaker 3: She's wearing a futuristic casual business jumpsuit, but it's sleeveless
Speaker 3: and she's wearing a beautiful futuristic earring.
Speaker 2: Is it a robot? No, it's just Erica's fat ass.
Speaker 2: No shoes because he I need choose except me. If
Speaker 2: you're wearing pink Barbie boots.
Speaker 1: Yes, I kept it. I'm a hippie today, I'm I'm
Speaker 1: a space hippie.
Speaker 3: I don't know what this is. This is business, cowgirl business, cowgirls,
Speaker 3: poci space hippie. Yes.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: If you guys haven't checked out on YouTube, now is
Speaker 3: the time, because we'd be looking the fuck it.
Speaker 1: We may be like rest enough for y'all.
Speaker 3: We'd be having different hairstyles, be doing our makeup and
Speaker 3: sheet and we figured like, yeah, come see us, don't
Speaker 3: be talking shit, just say nice things.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because it's some weirdos on YouTube.
Speaker 3: So lovely, what's going on? How are you this hump day?
Speaker 3: This fun, lovely hump day?
Speaker 1: This hump day is good. I am feeling excited because
Speaker 1: I just feel like I'm in a new season of
Speaker 1: my life, that the doors have opened and I'm walking
Speaker 1: through them and I'm grateful, and I've just been called
Speaker 1: to just really recognize how grateful i am. More and
Speaker 1: more often. This week, I've been writing in my journal more,
Speaker 1: which has been nice. I don't know. I know that
Speaker 1: I'm supposed to write in my journal, Like this is
Speaker 1: literally like the thing that I'm told all the time
Speaker 1: by like every person that's ever read me, any therapist,
Speaker 1: all of them. But I don't know why. In my
Speaker 1: adulthood I avoid writing in my journal in my free time.
Speaker 1: So I've gotten in the habit of the first thing
Speaker 1: I do when I wake up is just like write it,
Speaker 1: which is like pretty standard. I think that's like everyone's
Speaker 1: tip to writing, but it really helps me, Like I
Speaker 1: don't even know half the should I write. And then
Speaker 1: I went back and started reading other stuff. I actually
Speaker 1: went back and I went back and I read my
Speaker 1: twenty nineteen Life Partner Manifestation. Actually I have a picture
Speaker 1: of it here. I just read a few things, but
Speaker 1: I need to revisit that. It's so it's so interesting
Speaker 1: because the person that I'm seeing right now seems to
Speaker 1: encompass many of these things, and they're pretty specific. Life
Speaker 1: Partner Web Funny Gentle helps me grow. I can understand
Speaker 1: or listen to my needs and not take everything personal.
Speaker 1: Hastyle loves me boldly and loudly. Protect Or Provider plays
Speaker 1: golf with my dad.
Speaker 2: Beautiful so specific.
Speaker 1: Golf with my dad. What else apple of his eye,
Speaker 1: loves to dance, willing to explore sexually, which is why
Speaker 1: the vitamins are very important in my lifestyle right now.
Speaker 2: Your sexual exploration lifestyle, it's heavy on the sex. I
Speaker 2: was trying to see.
Speaker 3: If I can find my on my phone because you know,
Speaker 3: if you put any keywords in your fucking robot find it.
Speaker 1: It's so weird.
Speaker 3: If you put any words in your robot phone writing,
Speaker 3: it will be there, which is fucking scary as shit.
Speaker 3: The government is fucking watching against you, guys. Get your
Speaker 3: fucking farm and get the fuck off the grid.
Speaker 1: But yeah, So I've just been trying to let things
Speaker 1: flow out of me in the morning easily, and it
Speaker 1: feels good. So that's when I've that's what's up with me.
Speaker 3: Do you feel like that helps with your communication and
Speaker 3: like trying to just like express things immediately how they like,
Speaker 3: how they come, instead of trying to.
Speaker 2: Hold them in like just writing.
Speaker 1: Yes, because I feel like I'm actually not that great
Speaker 1: off the cuff type of person, even though my whole
Speaker 1: show is podcasting. I feel like when I'm when I
Speaker 1: feel like I need to communicate feelings sometimes I feel
Speaker 1: like I need time to like organize how I'm going
Speaker 1: to say it, but then it ends up not coming
Speaker 1: out well because it feels contrived. So I think writing
Speaker 1: helps it kind of just easily flow. And I've been
Speaker 1: told that, like in other readings, like communication because I
Speaker 1: was born on a retrograde is always difficult for me.
Speaker 1: Even though I communicate a lot, it doesn't always feel
Speaker 1: like I'm being understood a lot, or like the message
Speaker 1: is misunderstood. So one of the reasons why i'ven't always
Speaker 1: been told to write is because it's to help kind
Speaker 1: of like clear that space. And so it feels it
Speaker 1: feels like it is. And I was like going back
Speaker 1: and reading how I write as like an early twenty
Speaker 1: year old to like how I write as a thirty
Speaker 1: four year old. It's the same, I.
Speaker 2: Was gonna say, it's so much difference your experience.
Speaker 1: It's the same. It's the same. It's the same. It's messy,
Speaker 1: I used to I don't even know, like it's just
Speaker 1: it's rambles. I was like reading so much and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what am I talking about. I was like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I remember that, and that makes sense. Oh yeah, Actually,
Speaker 1: like no one else knows what that means, but I.
Speaker 3: Do, right, Yeah, I need to be better at keeping
Speaker 3: a journal more often. I feel like I used to
Speaker 3: do it a lot in my deep poetry days and
Speaker 3: I've stopped. So I think, thank you, friend, I'm going
Speaker 3: to implement that and try to.
Speaker 2: I feel like we talk so fucking much.
Speaker 1: I did, But you know what, it doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be like long, because sometimes it's literally half a page
Speaker 1: that's all I got. Yeah, Yeah, I woke up and
Speaker 1: I'm like, I wrote five sentences.
Speaker 2: I am alive and happy and well.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think that's kind of like, I think
Speaker 1: that's kind of like the overall misconception of wellness in
Speaker 1: general is that you have to like take the whole
Speaker 1: bite or just don't take any at all, and so
Speaker 1: like you don't you know, like I've done that too, though,
Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't want to write because that means
Speaker 1: I have I have so much to say right now
Speaker 1: and my hand is gonna hurt, and I don't want
Speaker 1: to write four pages. I'm like, then, don't say at all.
Speaker 1: Just do what you can cliff notes true. So yeah,
Speaker 1: when I wake up, sometimes I'll write three pages. Sometimes
Speaker 1: I'll write half a page. Sometimes I'll just write two words,
Speaker 1: you know, like this is how I feel. You know,
Speaker 1: so do it? Will you feel good about it? I will?
Speaker 3: I will, And I'll read more too. I think reading
Speaker 3: makes me want to write more. See reading is hard
Speaker 3: for me.
Speaker 1: I fall asleep.
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too, Like I don't know.
Speaker 1: I go through like phases. There's times where I can
Speaker 1: read a lot, Like I remember I read the Miles
Speaker 1: Davis autobiography and or was it his biography? Biography? And
Speaker 1: that shit was long as fuck and I couldn't believe how.
Speaker 1: I just like it was so so interesting how I
Speaker 1: just ran through it In other books too. And then
Speaker 1: there's some books where I'm like, I know, I'm supposed
Speaker 1: to read this book because everyone says this book is
Speaker 1: very important, And then I open it and I buy it,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, Okay, I'm going to read it. It's
Speaker 1: only one hundred and twenty two pages. I can do this.
Speaker 1: And then like, I've literally been reading this book for
Speaker 1: like four years.
Speaker 2: I've been reading books for four years.
Speaker 3: But you know what, I just realized when you said that,
Speaker 3: I think it's actually easier for me to read books
Speaker 3: that have a storyline, you know, like I can follow
Speaker 3: in a storyline, which is crazy because like in movies,
Speaker 3: I don't really like nonfiction, but like in a storyline,
Speaker 3: I can be engaged. But like it's more difficult for
Speaker 3: me to like read prescriptive books. It's just kind of
Speaker 3: good that we've realizing this right now as we're writing
Speaker 3: a book, because you know, it's very memoir, but there
Speaker 3: is prescriptive.
Speaker 2: But that's why I kind of feel.
Speaker 3: Like it needs to keep that component alive and well,
Speaker 3: because people like to read stories.
Speaker 2: It's like reading Netflix.
Speaker 1: I mean that's the reason why I because when I
Speaker 1: was younger, I did enjoy reading. I mean I read
Speaker 1: like you know, teenage Soup to the what is it,
Speaker 1: teenage Chicken Soups to the teenage Soul, and like I
Speaker 1: was really into Like I was even in like during
Speaker 1: school and we'd had to read certain books, like I
Speaker 1: enjoyed it.
Speaker 3: I wasn't fucking avid like Coldest Bungeterever true to the
Speaker 3: game Milk in my Coffee waiting to Exhale. I read
Speaker 3: a lot of black ghetto books about like the life,
Speaker 3: even some books about like the down Low. I did
Speaker 3: what it's a book called, It's like a famous book
Speaker 3: not that not there. There's a famous black book about
Speaker 3: a down low man in DC.
Speaker 2: There were football players. I was really into that book.
Speaker 3: Huh makes sense. Makes sense to my bisexual porn categories.
Speaker 3: In my adult life, I've read a lot.
Speaker 1: Of books that have like then become film adaptations. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I like the storyline element as well. I've read there's
Speaker 1: like some like people you have to read this stelf
Speaker 1: help book, and I'm like, I read it.
Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm like, I'm highlighting, but it feels like school,
Speaker 3: feels very schoolish.
Speaker 1: But I will even highlight. There's been books where I've
Speaker 1: read that are I guess fiction or even nonfiction that
Speaker 1: I've like, I'll highlight stuff too. I'm like, I need
Speaker 1: to know this quote for life, Like I need to
Speaker 1: be able.
Speaker 3: To say this out loud at some point, but I
Speaker 3: like to I like to be a lesson within the storyline.
Speaker 3: I don't need to like read a whole prescriptive book
Speaker 3: to get that, you know, So you know I agree. Damn,
Speaker 3: I haven't read as many books I've read in high
Speaker 3: school on a long motherfucking time.
Speaker 1: I need to do another book club.
Speaker 2: We do we do?
Speaker 3: Really, I really want to do women that run with wool,
Speaker 3: but it's it's not there's stories, but they're like like
Speaker 3: like fables that they like compare to recent things, so
Speaker 3: it's kind of difficult to read.
Speaker 2: They're not easy stories. Does someone need.
Speaker 3: To ReadWrite women who write with the wolves and like
Speaker 3: the Black Urban Route could be me?
Speaker 2: Could that be me?
Speaker 3: But yeah, I just it's so hard to find the
Speaker 3: time to sit and get lost in a book like
Speaker 3: you did in high school.
Speaker 2: Damn.
Speaker 1: Well, now that's why they have Audible. But I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't. I can't read.
Speaker 3: Someone gave me a free year of Audible. I don't
Speaker 3: never fucking download. It's the books I want, and I
Speaker 3: don't feel the same like I'm receiving the message. I'm
Speaker 3: so fucking add I will think about something the whole
Speaker 3: time you're talking to me.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I feel like I could do it
Speaker 1: in my car because I don't like sometimes I don't want.
Speaker 1: I mean sometimes I listen to podcasts. Mostly I'm always
Speaker 1: listening to music, but I feel like I could listen
Speaker 1: to a book in audible form. I need to made
Speaker 1: my dad actually put out a book. I need to
Speaker 1: listen to his book in audible.
Speaker 3: Is he is he he's narrating.
Speaker 1: He's narrating it, and apparently he talks about me, of course,
Speaker 1: and I'm interested to know what he said.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, that's interesting. I can't wait to do our
Speaker 3: book on audible.
Speaker 1: I know, and our parents to listen to our book
Speaker 1: on audible.
Speaker 3: Hopefully, hopefully they'll just put like let us sign in,
Speaker 3: like put it in their house. I wasn't thinking they're
Speaker 3: going to read it. We're gonna have time and them
Speaker 3: not to read it. Now because they're going to read it,
Speaker 3: we got to just give it.
Speaker 2: To them, Okay, so we have to. I don't know
Speaker 2: what else do anything happening with you?
Speaker 1: Niw new things?
Speaker 2: You know recently, not so recently.
Speaker 3: A couple of months ago, I had a really really
Speaker 3: really this is totally good.
Speaker 2: We don't really have a route anyway.
Speaker 3: So I had a really scary experience with my brother
Speaker 3: and he got really really sick and I want to
Speaker 3: go see him, and I was like, WHOA, I was
Speaker 3: really scared and I haven't been like like, I guess
Speaker 3: face was something that was completely out of my hands
Speaker 3: in a really long time. I mean, everything's out of
Speaker 3: my hands, but I was just kind of grounded very
Speaker 3: quickly about like time management.
Speaker 2: And care for people that I love.
Speaker 3: And it's when over there, I looked at him. He
Speaker 3: looks so sick. I've never seen him look like this before.
Speaker 3: And you know, I haven't been spending as much time
Speaker 3: with him as I feel like I should, because like
Speaker 3: we're always in this fucking rat race of just like
Speaker 3: working and like you know, hitting goals, achieving our goals
Speaker 3: because you know, of course we love what we do,
Speaker 3: but just like we have the balance our motherhood. I'm like, damn,
Speaker 3: I have the balance being a big sister, being a daughter,
Speaker 3: being a friend.
Speaker 2: And I was so scared.
Speaker 3: And the first person I called was my friend, my wife,
Speaker 3: and I was like, I'm so scared.
Speaker 2: I'm so scared, Like I don't know what to do.
Speaker 3: I'm and she was just like, it's okay, do you
Speaker 3: want me to do you want me to get out
Speaker 3: of therapy to come over here.
Speaker 2: I was like, I think I'm gonna just come over there.
Speaker 3: And bring him over there, and like she immediately like
Speaker 3: dropped everything and like supported me and supported my brother,
Speaker 3: and like it was very scariest, the scariest thing that
Speaker 3: I've dealt with in a really long time, and I
Speaker 3: just want to say I appreciate you and I thank you.
Speaker 3: Of course I love you, and I was scared. I
Speaker 3: was scared too, because I know how you can be
Speaker 3: like it's cool and you were like, something's wrong. And
Speaker 3: so when you tell me something's wrong, I know something
Speaker 3: it's a fuck wrong. And I was like, what do
Speaker 3: we have to do?
Speaker 1: You know? Yeah, and I'm just so glad that Mazie's
Speaker 1: better and then you know he's on the mend, and yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean sometimes we need those wake up calls everyone,
Speaker 1: you know, Like that was a wake up call to
Speaker 1: me too. I was like, oh my god, like I
Speaker 1: needed to have I checked in, you know.
Speaker 3: With people right, like you have no idea what's going
Speaker 3: on in other people's worlds or you know, it would
Speaker 3: just be get so stuck in our lanes as adults.
Speaker 3: And my brother has down syndrome, so he's not verbal really,
Speaker 3: so it just dawned on me like how much and
Speaker 3: he's also a cancer, and how much he's probably holding
Speaker 3: in not communicating and not not you know, just not
Speaker 3: being interacting with people because he's used to just being
Speaker 3: in the house. And my mom's working and I'm working
Speaker 3: and everybody's just moving around quickly and he's just you know,
Speaker 3: doing his thing.
Speaker 2: But is he and how much?
Speaker 3: I just felt like maybe him not being nonverbal is
Speaker 3: what's making him sick, because if you're not being able
Speaker 3: to release your feelings or you're talking, like, imagine how
Speaker 3: much energy gets stored inside? How much pain and like
Speaker 3: I know, I already know. I used to live in
Speaker 3: that house, you know, with my parents and shit, and
Speaker 3: I fucking ran. So I just was super triggered and
Speaker 3: super like sat the fuck down because I was like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, if something happened to my brother, like
Speaker 3: I wouldn't never forgive myself for just being not present enough.
Speaker 3: And it's just yeah, I'm just like thankful I have
Speaker 3: a friend like you that I was like, oh my god.
Speaker 2: I called my retreat sister and I was like in
Speaker 2: the backyard moaning, no for real.
Speaker 1: I just he needed that, he needs more of that.
Speaker 2: And I was like.
Speaker 3: I started to breathe with him and just release sound
Speaker 3: because that's the tools that I have. And something told
Speaker 3: me man intuition was like he needs to release and
Speaker 3: he's like I feel better.
Speaker 2: But I was just like.
Speaker 3: We're just doing some retreat shit in the backyard, like
Speaker 3: literally like yelling and screaming together all three of us.
Speaker 3: Brian shout out to Brian the landlord who was there,
Speaker 3: But his wife's a witch, so I'm sure.
Speaker 1: He gets it. Yeah, but.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just.
Speaker 3: We give so much to our business and and to
Speaker 3: our community that I just don't want to forget to
Speaker 3: like serve the people closest to us with like the
Speaker 3: tools that we've discovered in this journey. And I'm just
Speaker 3: like thankful that I can like reach out to you
Speaker 3: on real levels on everyday life and just.
Speaker 1: Be like.
Speaker 2: I didn't think I was gonna cry like the home pain.
Speaker 3: You know, like have a sister friend that for real
Speaker 3: like has my back and you know, as my support
Speaker 3: system on all different levels, because I really was scared
Speaker 3: and I was like texting all the people like no,
Speaker 3: we're not coming. But yeah, that was just something that
Speaker 3: happened to me recently that I think I'm still processing
Speaker 3: and still just trying to be better all around. And
Speaker 3: it's just making me realize, like we can work so
Speaker 3: hard on all of these things, but if we're not
Speaker 3: working on ourselves and like being better all you know
Speaker 3: people all around then does it even really matter?
Speaker 1: No, it doesn't. And that's like it doesn't matter, It
Speaker 1: really doesn't. None of this should actually matters. It's just
Speaker 1: it's just like the add ons and pluses of life.
Speaker 1: What really matters is, yeah, our family, our tribe and
Speaker 1: those things. And I think I'm just grateful that I
Speaker 1: could be there for you, you know, and that and that
Speaker 1: we have honed these these specific tools to kind of
Speaker 1: like help and it did help, you know, obviously Mazi
Speaker 1: has you know, he had other stuff that he had
Speaker 1: to handle. But I think that when it comes to
Speaker 1: what matters, it's just overall that everyone's happy and taken
Speaker 1: care of and that we're checking in with the people
Speaker 1: and that we're trying to balance because life can get
Speaker 1: crazy and it can take us away and almost forget
Speaker 1: some of the most important people. We get like trapped
Speaker 1: in this bubble and it's just like our life is
Speaker 1: the most import and thing happening. Everything that's right in
Speaker 1: front of you is like what's happening. And also it's
Speaker 1: kind of easier to do that. It's kind of easier
Speaker 1: to be like a I don't feel like it right now,
Speaker 1: I don't feel like it. I'll get to it. I'll
Speaker 1: get to it. We'll get to it. I'll get to
Speaker 1: it until you can't get to it anymore, you know,
Speaker 1: And I don't. I don't want to ever feel that way.
Speaker 1: I know that life is inevitable, but if you can
Speaker 1: help it, and you know, like it, and even just
Speaker 1: setting boundaries, like if I can help, if I if
Speaker 1: I can help you set boundaries like today you said
Speaker 1: you need to leave at this time, Like, Okay, that's
Speaker 1: what's going to happen. We need to do that, like
Speaker 1: because I know that you'll be like okay, it's okay,
Speaker 1: Like we can be flexible. No, let's not be flexible.
Speaker 1: Let's not be flexible. Let's like really set the boundary
Speaker 1: that this is what needs to happen, because honestly, that's
Speaker 1: the only way it will happen. True, you know, and
Speaker 1: like and I know, and I hope that like I know,
Speaker 1: and I hope that you'll always hold those boundaries for
Speaker 1: me because I want to do that for you to
Speaker 1: make sure because I know that we get focused on
Speaker 1: the goal and I know that we have like things
Speaker 1: that we're trying to do and that we love what
Speaker 1: we do. You know, but yeah, it's like having the
Speaker 1: boundaries that we have for this also having those boundaries
Speaker 1: for everything and everyone else that we love.
Speaker 3: Too, I know, And there's like this like for me,
Speaker 3: I feel like, oh, I'm gonna when I reach this goal,
Speaker 3: then I'm gonna have time to do this and this
Speaker 3: and that. When I have when I reach this, School'm
Speaker 3: gonna have money to do this and this and that,
Speaker 3: and then you can come do this and I can
Speaker 3: pay for this, and then everything's going to be like
Speaker 3: this happy, like fucking fairy tale. But like you know,
Speaker 3: we're always trying to get to a goal, and we're
Speaker 3: always trying to have more money, and we're always trying
Speaker 3: to have more things. And like in the meantime though,
Speaker 3: in the process, what are you doing, you know, for
Speaker 3: the people that you love and that are important to you.
Speaker 3: And yeah, that was like seriously shifting for me. And yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't want to get lost in that all over again,
Speaker 3: just because like he's better and things are fine, you
Speaker 3: know what I mean, But just not being so self
Speaker 3: absorbed that I'm not just paying attention, you know, even
Speaker 3: to Luna, even to my mom, even to and some
Speaker 3: things I can't deal with you know, but some things
Speaker 3: I can be more patient. I can I can slow down,
Speaker 3: I can put my phone away to spend.
Speaker 2: Time with the people like this. We only get one life.
Speaker 3: We only get one motherfucking life, you know, And the
Speaker 3: truth is we never know when the end of that is.
Speaker 3: And life is beautiful and it should be. It's to
Speaker 3: be lived, but it's also to be spent and live
Speaker 3: with people that matter, you know. I think we spend
Speaker 3: a lot of time just like pleasing people that don't
Speaker 3: fucking matter. You don't know that, you won't know for
Speaker 3: a long time. Niggas that you met, niggas that you
Speaker 3: think are cute, but when you look at them deeper,
Speaker 3: they're not cute at all.
Speaker 1: You know.
Speaker 2: There's just so.
Speaker 3: Much noise essentially, and it's I think the older I've gotten,
Speaker 3: the more clear it is that some relationships, most of them,
Speaker 3: are just noise and don't need to be.
Speaker 2: Delved in very deeply. You know.
Speaker 3: I'm just like essentially learning boundaries, and I think it's difficult.
Speaker 2: I'm a people person. I respond to all my dms.
Speaker 3: Honestly, this is not an invitation, guys, No, I signed
Speaker 3: up like I'll answer all the jail calls, you know,
Speaker 3: like friends, I'm don for fucking fifteen years. I'm like, well,
Speaker 3: you know, I gotta write the letter, to send the pictures,
Speaker 3: like just all these things. But it's like this expectation
Speaker 3: that I don't even know where I've gotten this from,
Speaker 3: like the people pleasing or what, but just no, you know,
Speaker 3: and that and not feeling guilty about it, because that's
Speaker 3: another thing that I'll feel bad, and it's just like
Speaker 3: bad about what, you know. It's just like really being
Speaker 3: intentional with my time because I'm realizing because we're getting
Speaker 3: so busy that we don't have a lot of time,
Speaker 3: like the things I want to plan, I'm like, my god,
Speaker 3: I'm not gonna be able to do that till November.
Speaker 3: Erica asked me that, like the other day, when are
Speaker 3: we gonna be able to take a break, and I
Speaker 3: told her a strong twenty twenty four, it's looking more
Speaker 3: like early twenty twenty five.
Speaker 1: Don't say that, no, I'm just kidding.
Speaker 2: Twenty twenty four.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's twenty twenty four. My psychic said that thirty five,
Speaker 1: I'll by thirty six, I'll be making things for fun.
Speaker 2: Okay, that means I'll be thirty five, which means one year.
Speaker 1: So it's we're closer than we think.
Speaker 3: Literally, when Erica has a reading, I'm like, oh, even
Speaker 3: need to get one?
Speaker 2: What'd she say?
Speaker 1: This specific psychic will not email me back. I have
Speaker 1: been I missed one appointment and she's done with me.
Speaker 2: I don't know that's the same one. Yes, Oh, give
Speaker 2: me your nab. I'm gonna try.
Speaker 1: Okay, I think I did give her in. I'll give
Speaker 1: it to you again. Yeah, you know, be forgetting, but yes,
Speaker 1: it is. It's yeah, it's like but even with knowing that, like,
Speaker 1: I feel like we have to remove the anxiety from
Speaker 1: that because there's so much greatness in that time and
Speaker 1: there's so many lessons in that time, and the biggest
Speaker 1: one is balance and how do we actually do it
Speaker 1: so that by the time twenty twenty twenty four twenty
Speaker 1: twenty four hits we don't hate what we do. Like,
Speaker 1: I want to always love what I do and if
Speaker 1: it feels stressful, which it does all the time, but
Speaker 1: I still do it because I love it. Like, at
Speaker 1: what point does that stress become resentment towards what I want?
Speaker 1: What I'm doing? You know? I want to keep the
Speaker 1: joy in what I do at all times. And so
Speaker 1: I think balance, boundaries, work, boundaries, motherhood, boundaries, love life,
Speaker 1: like all those things, and like they have to exist
Speaker 1: and it doesn't. And boundaries sometimes can sound like a negative,
Speaker 1: like you're like really structured, which I know, like you
Speaker 1: don't thrive and structure, and really neither do I Like,
Speaker 1: there's elements of structure that I need, but I don't
Speaker 1: really like to be married to time because I'm late everywhere,
Speaker 1: but which I'm also trying to work on too, because
Speaker 1: that's a source of I think my anxiousness is me
Speaker 1: always being late places. I'm like, oh my god, people
Speaker 1: are waiting on me. Oh my god, I'm rude, Oh
Speaker 1: my god. Like you know, but these are all things
Speaker 1: that we can control, and the boundaries we set are
Speaker 1: all things that are possible, you know. So it's just
Speaker 1: a matter of like shifting the mindset and knowing that
Speaker 1: like by twenty twenty four, mark our words, it's gonna
Speaker 1: be explosion's gonna be so crazy.
Speaker 2: Gonna be balanced, bitches.
Speaker 1: By then, balanced, we're gonna be fucking levitating off the ground.
Speaker 2: Okay, we're gonna be just doing the podcast.
Speaker 1: Like literally're gonna walk into rooms. We're gonna be not
Speaker 1: if our toes don't even touch the floor.
Speaker 2: Hello, let's ask.
Speaker 3: We've come with a great balance and mastership fullness.
Speaker 2: Twenty twenty four.
Speaker 3: I told you bitches, I'd to be gliding on you host.
Speaker 1: Be gliding and swiping in on your hose.
Speaker 2: Twenty twenty four. We're gonna read.
Speaker 1: But also your host can come.
Speaker 3: I can see you how to levitate too. Just come
Speaker 3: to Costamika. You even need a flight home, Just levitate home,
Speaker 3: unlock the magic.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, we need to smoke.
Speaker 2: Okay, I have something rolled.
Speaker 1: Wait what is that?
Speaker 3: Oh girl, this is my blunt. I recently started smoking Backwoods.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I got the honey flavor and I kind of love it.
Speaker 1: You know what. My old nigga used to smoke honey
Speaker 1: and he used to love that shit.
Speaker 3: I love it, and you know, out here and try it.
Speaker 2: Hmmm. Right.
Speaker 3: I add a little lavender for a little extra relaxation.
Speaker 1: Oh I taste that lavender.
Speaker 3: Honey and the lavender and my wonderful weed. It really
Speaker 3: is my it's a game changer. It's my new favorite
Speaker 3: go to for blunts.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is actually like surprisingly smooth.
Speaker 2: Right, you're welcome.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, but it's true.
Speaker 2: I was listening to.
Speaker 3: I was listening to our first mom Tilla episode, and
Speaker 3: it was about us like manifesting like little shit like
Speaker 3: Natalie from Fashion Mamas on the show, Like we really
Speaker 3: wanted to meet Natalie, and she like just popped up
Speaker 3: and appeared and like all these little things and we
Speaker 3: kind of just started to realize.
Speaker 2: Like, oh my god, like, huh, I think we could
Speaker 2: do whatever we want.
Speaker 3: And I'm like it was so silly things like manifesting
Speaker 3: listening to Florence in the Machine that the Fashion Mama's
Speaker 3: fucking poll party and it's be sitting there and the
Speaker 3: fucking Florence and the machine comes on. But as I
Speaker 3: was listening to that from some fucking two years ago,
Speaker 3: three years ago, I was like, Wow, we've really mastered
Speaker 3: this motherfucking magic. And we've gotten a book deal, we've
Speaker 3: gotten a retreat with an s We've gotten you know,
Speaker 3: like all the things that we've gotten. You know, we've
Speaker 3: found our people. But that's just like from intentionally speaking
Speaker 3: it and that's why I've really started to try to
Speaker 3: apply the same manifestation to like my relationships. You know,
Speaker 3: please give me more time, give me my I'm gonna
Speaker 3: have more time to spend with my mom and be
Speaker 3: more patient with my mom. I'm gonna work better on
Speaker 3: our relationship. We're gonna be closer. Same with my brother. Now,
Speaker 3: I'm like, let me, let me. I'm gonna have time.
Speaker 3: We're gonna have a lot of moments together. I'm gonna
Speaker 3: be really present because just like you can manifest financial
Speaker 3: and busin and this success and all those other things
Speaker 3: that are the first things on our list to ask for,
Speaker 3: you can also manifest protection and clarity and being present
Speaker 3: and time and the opposite of anxiousness, which I don't
Speaker 3: even know what the word is.
Speaker 2: Peace, peace, fucking peace.
Speaker 1: You know. Also because I you know, I think that
Speaker 1: we believe, like there were things that we just believed
Speaker 1: innately with each other that maybe individually we might have
Speaker 1: not believed on our own. And I think that it's
Speaker 1: a matter too like when you're putting those manifestations, because
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times people they're like, I've
Speaker 1: been manifesting and nothing's happening for me, Like why is
Speaker 1: it happening? And it's because you have to put intention
Speaker 1: behind it. You actually have to like do the thing Also,
Speaker 1: it doesn't just show up, Like boundaries aren't just going
Speaker 1: to show up. You actually have to put them in practice.
Speaker 1: You have to you have to know that you're going
Speaker 1: to feel bad, and you have to just keep say no,
Speaker 1: feel bad and still say no, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Like you have to like I have to say, Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm going to spend every Sunday, I'm turning my computer
Speaker 1: off not working, and I'm going to pay attention like
Speaker 1: undivided attention with Iri. That's it. Like if I say
Speaker 1: that I want more time and more peace with Iri,
Speaker 1: like what are the things that I'm putting behind that
Speaker 1: to actually make that happen? Or that it just feels
Speaker 1: like flow because I think manifesting is things you already have,
Speaker 1: Like it's just kind of like building upon me things
Speaker 1: you already have, the ideas you already have. Like so
Speaker 1: I just I feel like sometimes people like there's people
Speaker 1: that have said to me, like I don't know, like
Speaker 1: that manifesting shit doesn't work, Like I've done it and
Speaker 1: it shit, I don't know, it's not working. And I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: are you just landing candles on the full moon or
Speaker 1: like or like are you actually believing it with someone.
Speaker 1: Are you speaking it to somebody, are you telling your
Speaker 1: friends that this is what's going to happen. Because even
Speaker 1: the other day, we rented this house and it was beautiful.
Speaker 1: We rented it with our friend, and I was so
Speaker 1: grateful that we were able to do that with her,
Speaker 1: because this is our like rich friend who like always
Speaker 1: is like taking care of shit for us. And I
Speaker 1: was like, no, no, we got we got it too, girl,
Speaker 1: like hold on, I let me put some money on
Speaker 1: this house for you, real quick, bitch. And it felt
Speaker 1: good to do that. And when I was in that house,
Speaker 1: my lover called me and he was like, oh, you're
Speaker 1: not home. I said, no, I'm home and he was like, no,
Speaker 1: you're not at your house. I was like, no, I'm
Speaker 1: at my house.
Speaker 2: No, I'm here, and.
Speaker 1: He's like you know what I mean. I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I don't. I was like, this is my house. I
Speaker 1: was like, this is the way I live. This is
Speaker 1: the way I want to live with anyone who's in
Speaker 1: my space. This is it. Like there's no like bar
Speaker 1: below this and we only go up and he's like, okay,
Speaker 1: I got it, and I was like yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2: No, for sure. For sure.
Speaker 3: When we made that agreement, we were like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: this is our house.
Speaker 2: I believe that.
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, this is like not far out of reach,
Speaker 3: and it is not. This is like God aligning. We're
Speaker 3: aligning with this, like the systems that we already know
Speaker 3: are going to happen by renting the house.
Speaker 2: We refuse to get out of the house.
Speaker 1: Literally, they like had to kick us out the house
Speaker 1: with my big ass combat stripper boots. They're cleaning, people
Speaker 1: were coming in the kids with the king, like what
Speaker 1: happened here?
Speaker 3: But for the belief believing it for sure, for sure,
Speaker 3: even like the things that are ours that are happening
Speaker 3: that you know, sometimes you have business deals in the
Speaker 3: works and you don't speak on them too soon.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh no, this is what I have.
Speaker 3: So I people do miss out on the manifestation because
Speaker 3: they don't really believe it and also visualizing it. And
Speaker 3: I feel like being in the house, living in the
Speaker 3: house for the weekend is the visualizing it.
Speaker 1: And that's in too, like I get it, like some
Speaker 1: people are like the rebuttal to that is like I
Speaker 1: can't visualize it because look where I'm at right now,
Speaker 1: And it's like well, that's why you have to put
Speaker 1: all these things in practice all the time, the speaking
Speaker 1: it out loud, the visualizing it until you do believe it,
Speaker 1: Like you have to keep trying until you do believe it,
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't just happen. Been like when I there
Speaker 1: were things with me and Mila where I'm like, I
Speaker 1: can't imagine, like there was not I don't want to
Speaker 1: say I can't because I can't. Actually is something that
Speaker 1: never really has come up here. I don't know why,
Speaker 1: which is weird. No, but there were moments where I
Speaker 1: was like will it like how when you know, like damn,
Speaker 1: like look at them like they they've already they got what.
Speaker 2: I want, like right, like how the fuck?
Speaker 1: You know? And just having to kind of talk yourself
Speaker 1: off of those ledges, and also kind of like that
Speaker 1: victimhood of like why not me? Why me? Why is
Speaker 1: all this happening to me? And not to diminish anyone's experience,
Speaker 1: because yeah, it should be happening, but like, okay, so
Speaker 1: now what.
Speaker 3: Though I know I was looking at my you know,
Speaker 3: my favorite couple from the internet, the witch the Witchy couple.
Speaker 2: They recently they moved somewhere. Yeah, you saw I saw, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I saw something happening where they go.
Speaker 3: They got a farm where it's still in Louisiana.
Speaker 2: Why do I know their life?
Speaker 3: It's four hours from New Orleans and they finally got
Speaker 3: their farm and they manifested it together and it's so
Speaker 3: fucking cute and they have chickens, and I was like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, do I need a farm. I didn't
Speaker 3: manifest a farm with chickens. I'm like with my fucking
Speaker 3: warrior man fucking carrying the furniture inside.
Speaker 2: I was on their stories last night, but uh fuck
Speaker 2: were we talking about.
Speaker 1: Believing it? Oh?
Speaker 2: Oh believing it? Oh oh?
Speaker 3: So for the like not for the first time, but
Speaker 3: I was like when I saw it, I was like, damn,
Speaker 3: I'm like kind of jealous, but also oh I could
Speaker 3: have this too. Oh they manifest this, manifested this, and
Speaker 3: I can have that too. And now my thought is
Speaker 3: you need to manifest to really. I was thinking of this, like,
Speaker 3: you need to manifest really specifically, because do you want
Speaker 3: the farm or do you want the fucking four million house?
Speaker 1: Both both?
Speaker 2: And that's what I was thinking, like, I want both,
Speaker 2: you know what?
Speaker 1: It? Also, I think I battle this all the time.
Speaker 1: I think, especially as we go to Costa Rica more
Speaker 1: and more like the the polarity were, like, I guess
Speaker 1: like not the polarity is what I'm the lifestyles in
Speaker 1: which I feel like I have to choose, like you
Speaker 1: know and like and a lot of that is it's
Speaker 1: all in my head, like of like, oh, I can't.
Speaker 1: I couldn't leave all this behind and then give up
Speaker 1: my life and go raise a farm, go go like
Speaker 1: live a simple life with my man on the farm.
Speaker 1: No I could. I could. It's just like either I
Speaker 1: don't want to right now or I'm just not quite there.
Speaker 1: But I do battle between like feeling like I want
Speaker 1: to escape it all. And I've talked about this a
Speaker 1: lot on the show. Is like wanting to escape it all,
Speaker 1: but then also like wanting to like maximize my potential.
Speaker 3: Also, I think, I think the beautiful thing about us
Speaker 3: designing our life is that we know that we can
Speaker 3: have both, and we know we probably need both because
Speaker 3: we're like some hippie las bitches. You know, I need
Speaker 3: a little luxury. I need to go to the luxury
Speaker 3: in the jungle all luxury though, or the farm.
Speaker 2: But I do.
Speaker 3: I think it's I think It's just really beautiful and
Speaker 3: cool to be in this place where I really understand
Speaker 3: that I can design my life and I literally can
Speaker 3: have this and that and I will, you know, and
Speaker 3: I can spend a year there and six months there
Speaker 3: and I'll have the space and time to do so.
Speaker 3: And the choice, the choice, which is so beautiful because
Speaker 3: she was like, she was like as she was talking
Speaker 3: to me, the new house is four hours from the city,
Speaker 3: And I was like, God, can I live four hours
Speaker 3: from a city? And I was like, yes, you could,
Speaker 3: you sure could, you know, And like just the piece
Speaker 3: that she's probably feeling with her little family, she's a
Speaker 3: new baby.
Speaker 2: While you would think this bitch is my best friend,
Speaker 2: it's less.
Speaker 3: It comes from a place of less like jealousy, like
Speaker 3: you know how you get on social like fuck them,
Speaker 3: and like, huh, I can have that, and that's beautiful
Speaker 3: for them.
Speaker 1: It's that, but it's also like, Wow, you've already reached
Speaker 1: that part of your like you've released that part of
Speaker 1: this like desire to have things and that she doesn't
Speaker 1: have things, because I'm sure she has plenty things and
Speaker 1: she's she's probably got she'd be killing on Patreon. I'm
Speaker 1: sure over there with all her witchy spells and her
Speaker 1: fine man doing weird things on the internet so fun.
Speaker 1: I might need to subscribe.
Speaker 2: Can we please subscribe?
Speaker 1: I think I need to too, but that she's kind of
Speaker 1: like said fuck it, but like not really though, because
Speaker 1: shes still tapped in. Yeah, you know, and it's really
Speaker 1: it is like a mind shift and a mindset shifts
Speaker 1: of like what it is that is important, what you desire. Also,
Speaker 1: I think, you know, even like what your partner desires,
Speaker 1: and like how you I'm sure they've influenced each other,
Speaker 1: you know. And I often think like could I go
Speaker 1: live on a farm by myself with my daughter or
Speaker 1: do I need to have a man like kind of
Speaker 1: want to do it with me?
Speaker 2: I would like a man to come with me. I need.
Speaker 3: I like partnership and doing things. I welcome a man
Speaker 3: that is healthy and wants to lay eggs honestly pick
Speaker 3: up the chickens like the candles, you know, like I do.
Speaker 3: I like the I like the partnership aspect. And also
Speaker 3: if I don't, if like that doesn't manifest that way.
Speaker 2: I'll still do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm still I'm here.
Speaker 3: Now I'll just hire some farmers to like learn how
Speaker 3: to plow myself or maybe not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, the moral of the story is do whatever
Speaker 1: you want, manifest what you want, design your life, design
Speaker 1: your life, remember the people. Don't forget the people you love.
Speaker 1: Check in with the people that you love. If there's
Speaker 1: someone that you haven't talked to in a while that's
Speaker 1: been on your mind, call them.
Speaker 3: Or just like if you don't know where they're at,
Speaker 3: just telepathically call them by thinking about them and they
Speaker 3: will come to you.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm. Speaking of telepathics and energies, is it tarot tyme?
Speaker 2: I think it is.
Speaker 4: I think it's terror, good terrort time terror.
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Speaker 2: And today's taro. I pulled a.
Speaker 3: Page of cups, which is creative opportunities, intuitive messages, curiosity
Speaker 3: and possibility. The page of cups upright soges a new
Speaker 3: idea or opportunity has come to you out of the blue.
Speaker 3: Creative energy is flowing, and now the question is how
Speaker 3: will you express it. Will you snap up to this
Speaker 3: new idea and turn it into something, or you'll let
Speaker 3: someone else bring it to fruition?
Speaker 2: Is it up to you?
Speaker 3: Spend time exploring the idea to see if you want
Speaker 3: to move forward. The page of cups invites you to
Speaker 3: have an open and curious mind. Be open to anything,
Speaker 3: including a fish popping its head out of a cup a.
Speaker 3: It is with a curious mind that you will discover
Speaker 3: new aspects of life and yourself. Open your mind to
Speaker 3: all possibilities, especially those of creative intuitive nature. You will
Speaker 3: be pleasantly surprised, be ready to dream the impossible dream
Speaker 3: and explore the magic of your fullest potential, even if
Speaker 3: it seems out of reach. The page of cup is
Speaker 3: asking you to embrace the inner child and believe that
Speaker 3: anything is possible. Did I not just fucking say that
Speaker 3: I could have everything?
Speaker 1: You have?
Speaker 2: Both?
Speaker 1: You did?
Speaker 3: The page of the Each page asked you to explore
Speaker 3: a new facet of yourself. The page of cups is
Speaker 3: asking you to explore your creative, emotional self. You may
Speaker 3: start a new art class, read books about how to
Speaker 3: express your feelings, or learn more about developing your psychic abilities.
Speaker 3: We need to get the Patreon dreamy aspirations race through
Speaker 3: your mind, and you may find yourself moved by simple things.
Speaker 3: Don't be afraid to let your feelings show and wear
Speaker 3: your heart on your sleeve.
Speaker 1: You may be moved by simple things. We're just saying,
Speaker 1: just how like the simplicities of life are often like
Speaker 1: the most appealing? Yeah yeah, And that you want to
Speaker 1: read more books? I do.
Speaker 2: I'm going to.
Speaker 1: Um.
Speaker 3: And then Erica pulled the Queen of pentacles. Pentacles are
Speaker 3: usually finances. She's looking luxury and lavish, so I'm betting
Speaker 3: on the riches the Queen of Pentacles is the nurturing
Speaker 3: mother of the material world. At home, she shows her
Speaker 3: love for others by cooking nutritious meals, maintaining a clean
Speaker 3: and inviting home, and giving warm cuddles to those who
Speaker 3: needed most. She is also able to work a full
Speaker 3: time job and make a financial contribution to the household,
Speaker 3: often as the primary breadwinner. She is masterful at taking
Speaker 3: care of the practical needs of work, home, and family,
Speaker 3: while also giving her love and support to those she
Speaker 3: cares about. Sounds balanced When the Queen of Pentacles appears
Speaker 3: in a tarot reading, you are embodying the ultimate working
Speaker 3: parent archetype. You care for your family and domestic responsibilities
Speaker 3: while also making a living for yourself and creating financial abundance.
Speaker 3: You can maintain a healthy balance between home and work
Speaker 3: by in creating the two and finding your place of
Speaker 3: flow in alignment. You strive to create a warm and
Speaker 3: secure environment for your family and loved ones while giving
Speaker 3: your love and support freely.
Speaker 1: Hmmm, I love that.
Speaker 2: I love that for you.
Speaker 1: Thanks.
Speaker 2: Okay, y'all, you have affirmation? Do I have an affirmation?
Speaker 1: I am easily accessible to those who prioritize my joy
Speaker 1: and their joy.
Speaker 3: I am easily accessible to those who prioritize my joy
Speaker 3: and their joy.
Speaker 2: Amen.
Speaker 3: Amen, Thank you guys so much for joining us today
Speaker 3: on another episode of Good Mom's Bad Choices. Please please
Speaker 3: make sure you rate and review this episode. Make sure
Speaker 3: you follow us on Patreon. More exclusive content at patreon
Speaker 3: dot com, backslash Good Mom's Bad Choices.
Speaker 1: Check out our merch store. Rate you said, rate and review.
Speaker 1: That's it.
Speaker 2: That's it. Check for us, follow us, and be nice
Speaker 2: in the comments.
Speaker 4: Bye.
Speaker 1: M h
Speaker 4: M hmm