WEBVTT - How We Met Francia Raisa 0:00:03.640 --> 0:00:05.440 Your mom was really good friends with my mom. Oh 0:00:05.559 --> 0:00:07.640 my god, that's awesome. Yeah, she loo turns with your dad, 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:09.680 but my mom and her got pretty close actually, so 0:00:09.720 --> 0:00:11.720 we have to be friends, damn it. Frans. Yeah, Like, 0:00:11.720 --> 0:00:14.360 I feel like i'd vibe with you. I remember there 0:00:14.400 --> 0:00:16.520 was a red carpet. I was nominated for an Alma Award, 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:18.239 and your mom came up to be so sweet. Because 0:00:18.280 --> 0:00:20.079 I think your mom even came to my King Sea 0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:21.640 or something, but she came up to be so sweet. 0:00:21.640 --> 0:00:23.360 It was like, I'm so proud of you. I knew 0:00:23.360 --> 0:00:26.440 you were going to do it on first generation. So 0:00:26.480 --> 0:00:29.600 I'm literally like, okay, navigating two worlds. And my parents 0:00:29.640 --> 0:00:31.440 think that if I go to therapy, I'm going to 0:00:31.520 --> 0:00:33.199 end up in a psyche cord, like there's such a 0:00:33.200 --> 0:00:40.959 stigma behind it. Hello and Happy Monday to all of 0:00:41.040 --> 0:00:45.319 my beautiful listeners. Thanks to everyone for tuning into this 0:00:45.360 --> 0:00:48.080 week's episode of Cheeks and Chill. I don't know about you, 0:00:48.320 --> 0:00:50.879 but I'm a little over the rain, you guys. I mean, 0:00:50.920 --> 0:00:52.600 I love the rain. I think it's good, it's cleansing, 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:55.400 the earth needs it. But I think it's time for 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:58.560 some sunny days. But AnyWho, On today's show, we're going 0:00:58.560 --> 0:01:00.639 to be joined by an actress you might know from 0:01:00.640 --> 0:01:04.039 the Show's Grown Ish or How I Met Your Father. 0:01:04.200 --> 0:01:08.040 I'll give you a hint. She's Mexican, and we're going 0:01:08.080 --> 0:01:10.920 to talk about everything from being a first generation Latina 0:01:11.080 --> 0:01:14.080 to mental health to being a strong and confident woman. 0:01:14.200 --> 0:01:24.360 So let's get started. This is chickies and chill as promised. 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:27.240 Sitting here with me today is a very talented actress, 0:01:27.640 --> 0:01:31.680 Francia Raisa. Oh my god, Francia, how are you? Thank 0:01:31.680 --> 0:01:35.000 you for being here, Thanks for having me. I'm really good. 0:01:35.480 --> 0:01:39.160 You have beautiful skin. Thank you so much that I 0:01:39.200 --> 0:01:44.280 just got a fictional yesterday. So oh nicee, no way. Yeah. 0:01:44.319 --> 0:01:45.920 So what do your friends call you? Do they call 0:01:45.920 --> 0:01:48.320 you Francia or do they like shorten it? On How 0:01:48.400 --> 0:01:52.560 Met Your Father? Actually, the cast calls me Frank Frank Okay, 0:01:52.760 --> 0:01:57.400 Hillary started that nickname. There's also another nickname. It's Frasia 0:01:57.720 --> 0:02:00.440 because on the first season of How Your Father I 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:05.760 joined Rya and then didn't make it into the spelling 0:02:06.080 --> 0:02:08.040 and my cap father was so funny. So they call 0:02:08.080 --> 0:02:13.359 me frame for Frasia uma organ. Oh nice that's that's 0:02:13.360 --> 0:02:16.079 like what I do, Amiga Yeah, that's so cute. Oh 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:18.520 so Riya, Oh my gosh, are you still in Riya? 0:02:18.639 --> 0:02:21.320 I'll just took a break from it. I mean technically 0:02:21.400 --> 0:02:24.320 I am, but I it's just like when you connect 0:02:24.360 --> 0:02:26.119 with somewhere, you actually have to go on the date 0:02:26.120 --> 0:02:30.280 part or like do the effort. Yeah, so you're kind 0:02:30.280 --> 0:02:32.520 of like nah. Yeah. So for those of you who 0:02:32.560 --> 0:02:34.080 don't know what Riya is, I think we've talked about 0:02:34.120 --> 0:02:35.920 it here on the pod. It's a dating app. I 0:02:36.000 --> 0:02:38.080 was on right before I met my boyfriend and then 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:39.360 he was on there. I didn't know he was on 0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:41.640 there until we started dating, like I don't know, like 0:02:41.680 --> 0:02:43.359 three weeks in and I was like, oh, you're still Riya. 0:02:43.639 --> 0:02:46.480 Hold on, you better erase that. But that's that's cool. 0:02:46.680 --> 0:02:49.480 I think Rya is one of the cooler, like upskill 0:02:50.240 --> 0:02:53.040 dating apps. I personally think it's it's cool. But I'm 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:55.120 glad you're taking a little break. I think sometimes it 0:02:55.160 --> 0:02:58.360 is necessary. But AnyWho, getting back to you, Okay, so 0:02:58.400 --> 0:03:01.840 you're an actress. But you started off as a dancer, right, Yes, 0:03:02.000 --> 0:03:04.600 I did. I started dancing when I was about five 0:03:04.960 --> 0:03:09.200 day doing everything you know latin Na Daniel Dad being 0:03:09.240 --> 0:03:12.079 like and tap and bile and karate and hip hop, 0:03:12.120 --> 0:03:14.480 and then I was going to pursue a dance career 0:03:14.560 --> 0:03:19.440 when I was fifteen sixteen years old, but at the 0:03:19.520 --> 0:03:22.079 time I also had the dream of acting. And this 0:03:22.160 --> 0:03:24.240 girl that I was backup dancing with id just booked 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:27.200 a part on Unfabulous on Nickelodeon when Emma Roberts was 0:03:27.240 --> 0:03:29.959 on Nickelodeon. That's how long the boat it was. And 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:31.560 I was like, oh my god, how did you do that? 0:03:31.720 --> 0:03:33.760 And she was like, oh, I went to an audition. Girl. 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:36.600 I didn't even know what an audition was. I was like, cool, 0:03:36.720 --> 0:03:38.960 how did you get that? She said a manager. I 0:03:39.000 --> 0:03:41.800 said cool, Can I meet her? And she and I 0:03:41.840 --> 0:03:44.200 didn't really understand how bold that was at the time. 0:03:44.240 --> 0:03:46.320 I was about fifteen, and she was like, well, she's 0:03:46.360 --> 0:03:49.080 actually looking for a bilingual actress. And I was like, great, 0:03:49.120 --> 0:03:52.760 I'm bilingual. Let's do it. And she signed me and 0:03:52.800 --> 0:03:55.320 there went my dance career. I started auditioning for acting 0:03:55.400 --> 0:03:58.720 roles in about six months later. I booked bring it on, dude, 0:03:58.760 --> 0:04:01.480 that's freaking awesome. And see, it's because how bold you 0:04:01.520 --> 0:04:03.680 were that you were just like, I don't know, I 0:04:03.760 --> 0:04:06.800 just I mean, being outspoken and not being afraid to 0:04:06.840 --> 0:04:09.240 ask questions is so powerful, especially at that age. So 0:04:09.280 --> 0:04:11.840 I freaking applaud you for that. Thank you. I lost that, 0:04:12.040 --> 0:04:14.520 but thank you at the time. Yeah, you know what 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:17.800 happens is that the world happens, and then you know, 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:21.479 we life and we become a little bit more. I 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:23.560 don't know if the word is afraid because of what 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:26.080 people may think or what they say, but like like 0:04:26.120 --> 0:04:28.680 they always say, when you're young, you don't think about, oh, 0:04:28.720 --> 0:04:30.200 I'm gonna get on that roller coaster, like you just 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:31.600 want to get on it, and you don't think of 0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:33.840 like the consequences. I think that's what happens. We start 0:04:33.920 --> 0:04:37.120 thinking of consequences and shit, and then we lose that 0:04:37.200 --> 0:04:39.880 like free spirit. Maybe I don't know, but you seem 0:04:39.920 --> 0:04:44.080 like a very confident, like outspoken woman though now I am. Yeah, 0:04:44.360 --> 0:04:48.239 I lost a lot of that confidence for a while. 0:04:48.800 --> 0:04:51.520 I think it's because we start getting introduced to rejection. 0:04:52.440 --> 0:04:55.600 You know, as young kids. I think our parents are 0:04:55.640 --> 0:04:58.440 constantly trying to cheer a song, which is amazing, but 0:04:58.520 --> 0:05:00.720 in cheering a song and telling us we could do it, 0:05:00.720 --> 0:05:02.800 they should probably also tell us that, like sometimes it 0:05:02.880 --> 0:05:05.120 might not happen and it's okay. Other people deserve to 0:05:05.120 --> 0:05:07.800 win as well, right, And so when you don't win 0:05:08.279 --> 0:05:10.640 and you gain that competitive nature, and then you go 0:05:10.640 --> 0:05:12.960 out in the real world and you realize everything your 0:05:12.960 --> 0:05:15.680 parents told you is true, but that doesn't mean that 0:05:15.760 --> 0:05:18.480 everything is meant for you, or that doesn't mean everything 0:05:18.520 --> 0:05:20.920 goes your way. So we start losing that and it's 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:24.120 like this whole identity crisis that we go through and 0:05:24.160 --> 0:05:26.840 then you know, whether we want to accept it or not. 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:29.599 You know, a lot of us need to therapy. And 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:32.640 in twenty fourteen, that's when I first started seeking it, 0:05:34.120 --> 0:05:37.880 people were concerned, and I think in twenty twenty, the 0:05:37.960 --> 0:05:42.480 forced rest that we all had to endures. Probably I 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:44.479 hate that so many people lost their lives. There's probably 0:05:44.520 --> 0:05:46.599 the best thing that ever happened to me, And I 0:05:46.680 --> 0:05:48.839 think that break helped me to figure myself out and 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:51.200 understand everything that I'm talking about right now and be 0:05:51.279 --> 0:05:53.599 the and bring back my confidence. I also durned my 0:05:53.640 --> 0:05:55.440 hair a month ago, so that also made me feel 0:05:55.440 --> 0:05:57.400 like just the rabbit and I feel like a whole 0:05:57.440 --> 0:06:01.440 new persons that poisoned yesterday. And I was like, yeah, yeah, 0:06:01.480 --> 0:06:04.120 her too, her k yeah, her too, her too. I 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:05.839 love it. I've been wanting to do my hair like 0:06:06.000 --> 0:06:07.800 dye my hair red for so long my hairstyle is 0:06:07.839 --> 0:06:08.960 just won't do it because my hair, I have a 0:06:09.040 --> 0:06:11.360 lot of hair, it's just very thin, so I just 0:06:11.400 --> 0:06:13.120 I gotta like let it rest a little bit. But 0:06:13.160 --> 0:06:16.200 it looks beautiful on you. And I think, like, you 0:06:16.200 --> 0:06:18.320 know what you said right now, Sometimes when we're going 0:06:18.320 --> 0:06:21.440 through a breakup or something like horrible, like we want 0:06:21.480 --> 0:06:24.880 to make some type of external change and it just 0:06:24.960 --> 0:06:28.880 helps us internally. So I totally get that, and I'm glad. 0:06:29.040 --> 0:06:32.400 I'm huge. I'm a huge advocate for you know, seeking 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:34.960 therapy and doing therapy and life coaching. I've been doing 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:37.400 it since I was twelve, and it's helped me so 0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:40.400 much because sometimes I think, like shit, like I've been 0:06:40.400 --> 0:06:42.320 through so many things, how the heck did I get here? 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:45.120 And it's because of therapy. So I totally feel you 0:06:45.160 --> 0:06:48.200 on that. I feel you. On twenty twenty, it was 0:06:48.480 --> 0:06:50.920 a year of like so much change for all of us, 0:06:50.920 --> 0:06:53.960 of course, but for me it was like whoa. It 0:06:54.080 --> 0:06:56.919 put a lot of things into perspective. So I totally 0:06:57.000 --> 0:06:59.360 get you. And then just backpedaling a little bit because 0:06:59.360 --> 0:07:02.440 you did mention your dad and I know him pretty well. Yeah, 0:07:02.440 --> 0:07:06.760 so he's your Mexican correct, Yeah, my dad? So your 0:07:06.839 --> 0:07:09.520 dad is from I thought your dad was Mexican for 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:13.080 some reason. I don't know, but his name is What 0:07:13.200 --> 0:07:15.280 was that like growing up with him? Is this famous 0:07:15.360 --> 0:07:19.040 like radio jockey? Oh my god? You know what? Because 0:07:19.080 --> 0:07:20.800 you were in the same boat as me, I can 0:07:20.880 --> 0:07:24.840 talk to you about this. It wasn't easy. Amazing girl, 0:07:25.040 --> 0:07:30.680 like so much expectation, you know how it is lasa 0:07:30.760 --> 0:07:32.200 and you have to like sweep it on the rug 0:07:32.240 --> 0:07:35.280 and pretend like nothing's happening, and you're like, yeah, some 0:07:35.400 --> 0:07:41.640 shit is going down. I don't know why. I starts 0:07:41.640 --> 0:07:44.120 seeing finished. And they didn't explain to Caves very well 0:07:44.680 --> 0:07:47.720 that my dad was famous. You know, I didn't. I 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:49.560 didn't get it. They would they were. They didn't really 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:52.280 explain the celebritiness. It just was what it was. And 0:07:52.360 --> 0:07:54.960 so I remember going out to the movies or anything 0:07:55.040 --> 0:07:57.360 and people stopping him for pictures and autographs and I 0:07:57.400 --> 0:08:01.040 got so mad. I'm like, it's a family time. Why 0:08:01.160 --> 0:08:04.120 And so that's tough it is. And then, you know, 0:08:04.280 --> 0:08:06.440 I don't know about you, but even you know, sometimes 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:08.120 growing up, I didn't know if some friends were my 0:08:08.160 --> 0:08:11.560 friends because of me or because of my dad. And 0:08:12.000 --> 0:08:14.600 you know, all some people didn't like me because I 0:08:14.640 --> 0:08:18.880 was a rich bitch. Oh I hear you. I feel 0:08:18.880 --> 0:08:22.000 you same. Same like I grew to say okay because 0:08:22.040 --> 0:08:23.680 my mom would be like, well, these people feed us. 0:08:23.720 --> 0:08:25.560 But sometimes they'd be like we're at Disneyland or we're 0:08:25.640 --> 0:08:27.320 somewhere at the movies, and it's like I just want 0:08:27.360 --> 0:08:29.800 my mom right now, like yeah, you yeah, I'm like 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:31.880 I just want my mom, like I don't want the artists, 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:33.960 like you know, And it was so hard. Now I 0:08:34.000 --> 0:08:36.080 understand because I'm like, oh shit, Like now I feel 0:08:36.120 --> 0:08:37.480 bad for the people around me, and I feel like, 0:08:37.480 --> 0:08:40.080 oh my god, hopefully they don't get annoyed. But like, 0:08:40.440 --> 0:08:43.960 as a child, it's tough. You don't know, and I 0:08:43.960 --> 0:08:46.680 don't think they explained it to us. But also I 0:08:46.760 --> 0:08:48.439 have to understand that they didn't really know how to 0:08:48.480 --> 0:08:50.680 explain it to us. Like, if you think about it, 0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:53.960 my dad was first generation money, so was my mom. 0:08:54.040 --> 0:08:55.840 Like they didn't know what to do with that, or 0:08:56.040 --> 0:08:57.559 and the fame. You know, you talk about it, but 0:08:57.679 --> 0:08:59.240 no one prepares you for it you and I have 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:02.520 the advantage that we can learn from their mistakes. And 0:09:02.679 --> 0:09:06.360 also I don't know your first generation, right, I'm third, 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:10.360 your third Yeah, oh wow, that's crazy. See, I'm first generations. 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:13.120 My parents really just didn't know any better. Being first generation. 0:09:13.200 --> 0:09:16.400 Growing about here, it's like acclimating to American life and 0:09:16.640 --> 0:09:18.680 keeping to my culture. It's like a whole thing. But 0:09:18.720 --> 0:09:20.760 it was it was tough. Yeah, of course, as you 0:09:20.760 --> 0:09:23.520 feel like, okay, if I become too quote unquote American 0:09:23.600 --> 0:09:25.240 and I'm not going to be accepted by my people, 0:09:25.320 --> 0:09:27.719 and it's kind of like, I think, now, what has 0:09:27.720 --> 0:09:29.040 helped me is kind of like I'm part of the 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:31.040 two hundred percent club. You know, I'm one hundred percent 0:09:31.120 --> 0:09:33.240 Mexican and I'm one hundred percent American, and I just 0:09:33.679 --> 0:09:36.160 I'm lucky and we're blessed enough to have that, you know, 0:09:36.280 --> 0:09:38.720 just embrace it. But growing up, it was like, oh, 0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:41.400 you're too light skin like, uh, you don't fit in. 0:09:41.559 --> 0:09:43.160 And then on the other side it was like, oh, no, 0:09:43.160 --> 0:09:44.880 you're too Mexican. It was just like always trying to 0:09:44.880 --> 0:09:46.599 find well, who the hell where do I fit in? 0:09:47.160 --> 0:09:51.080 And then your parent is famous. Yes, on top of that, 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:57.360 and scratching my car. Girl shut up at school. Yes, 0:09:57.440 --> 0:10:00.560 my first call was Alexius see four thirty. It was 0:10:00.600 --> 0:10:03.360 two thousand, I don't remember. But anyways, I'll have to 0:10:03.400 --> 0:10:05.640 start parking in the teacher's parking lot because I got 0:10:05.640 --> 0:10:10.800 my car scratched. They scrolled car. My god, same same. 0:10:10.840 --> 0:10:13.120 I had a BMW my uncle. My uncle lupa about 0:10:13.160 --> 0:10:15.840 it for me. And I changed so many different schools 0:10:15.840 --> 0:10:18.040 because it's like I couldn't fit in anywhere, you know. 0:10:18.120 --> 0:10:20.160 So They're like, oh, they found out who my mom was, 0:10:20.160 --> 0:10:21.880 Oh the little rich bitch and this and that, and 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:24.600 they would scratch my car and I was like, oh yes, 0:10:25.000 --> 0:10:27.160 I'm like, what the Hell's not my fault? You sho 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:31.160 stuck up just because her dad or her mom. I'm like, 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:34.640 oh my god, oh my god, I feel you. Is 0:10:34.640 --> 0:10:37.680 that why they called you like a diva and stuff? 0:10:37.840 --> 0:10:41.360 Is that one of the res because I heard that somewhere. Yeah, 0:10:41.440 --> 0:10:42.920 I mean a diva is a word that I hear 0:10:42.920 --> 0:10:46.240 a lot. I mean, so I'm assuming yes, but I'll 0:10:46.280 --> 0:10:50.120 admit at the same time, my dad did raise me 0:10:50.200 --> 0:10:53.400 to be a brat, like he really did. I mean, okay, 0:10:53.679 --> 0:10:55.360 they didn't make me do any chores at home. I 0:10:55.400 --> 0:10:57.240 don't know about you, but we did no chores. The 0:10:57.280 --> 0:11:00.480 only chore I had was going to dance class as 0:11:00.520 --> 0:11:03.240 being the best of karate, so that those were my chores. 0:11:03.320 --> 0:11:05.280 But like he was like, you're the best of everything, 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:07.240 and you're gonna be a star one day, blah blah blah. 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:09.160 That's why I was so confident. But he didn't teach 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:11.640 me about rejection. He didn't teach me about work, he 0:11:11.640 --> 0:11:13.520 didn't teach me about how hard it wasna be. And 0:11:13.600 --> 0:11:15.200 he was already famous. So I was like, oh, this 0:11:15.240 --> 0:11:18.280 seems easy. This seems easy. Do you have siblings, Yeah, 0:11:18.280 --> 0:11:22.280 after younger sisters, your mom met all of us. Yeah, 0:11:22.280 --> 0:11:24.959 your mom was really good friends with my mom. Oh okay, 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:27.160 I thought with your dad, but oh, oh my god, 0:11:27.240 --> 0:11:29.200 that's awesome. Yeah she returns with your dad, but my 0:11:29.200 --> 0:11:32.000 mom and her got pretty close. Actually, oh wow, I 0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:35.520 didn't know that. Yeah. What what's your mom's name, Beatina? 0:11:37.800 --> 0:11:40.400 I think I have pictures. Oh my god, that's crazy. Yeah, 0:11:40.440 --> 0:11:42.079 because I remember there was a red carpet. I was 0:11:42.160 --> 0:11:44.120 nominated for an Alma Award, and your mom came up 0:11:44.120 --> 0:11:45.920 to be so sweet. Because I think your mom even 0:11:45.960 --> 0:11:47.720 came to my king Signeta or something, but she came 0:11:47.800 --> 0:11:49.079 up to be so soon. It was like, I'm so 0:11:49.160 --> 0:11:52.360 proud of you. I knew you were gonna would tell me. Yeah, yeah, 0:11:52.400 --> 0:11:54.760 she would tell me. She's like, that's a who's daughter, baby, 0:11:54.800 --> 0:11:57.320 and look what she's doing. She always wanted for me 0:11:57.360 --> 0:11:58.959 to be an actress. She didn't want me to sing. 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:01.360 She says, also or it, but I want you to 0:12:01.360 --> 0:12:03.520 be an actress. I feel like that's better. It's easier, 0:12:03.559 --> 0:12:05.640 like in the music, it's so hard now. I'm like, damn, 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:08.280 mom She was right, but like so when she saw 0:12:08.320 --> 0:12:10.640 you and she's like Meeta, mommy, like she look at 0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:12.719 her like she's doing her thing, and she was very 0:12:12.760 --> 0:12:14.439 proud of you, very very proud of you. So I 0:12:14.520 --> 0:12:16.360 wanted to just tell you because I remember clearly. I 0:12:16.400 --> 0:12:18.319 was like, I saw you at a red carpet. You 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:20.120 were taking pictures and we weren't able to say high 0:12:20.120 --> 0:12:22.880 because everything was that crazy. Yeah, but I know of you, 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:24.680 of course, I know who you are and everything and 0:12:24.760 --> 0:12:26.560 what you're what you're doing, what you have done, which 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:29.520 I honestly like the fact you're representing us so well. 0:12:29.559 --> 0:12:31.720 So thank you for that. So we have to be friends, 0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:41.280 damn it, Francia, Like, I feel like i'd vibe with you. Okay, 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:43.280 So let's talk a little bit about mental health because 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:46.440 it is something that I've gone through, and I want 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:49.680 to know what your take is on it, especially ever 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:52.040 since you know the pandemic, and I think that's when 0:12:52.080 --> 0:12:55.760 most of us, like felt the anxiety and depression. I 0:12:55.800 --> 0:12:59.000 know I did hardcore, but it helped me. What is 0:12:59.240 --> 0:13:01.280 your take on on what's going on and if we 0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:03.560 should speak about it a little bit more, especially in 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:06.560 our culture, well in our culture especially, I think it's 0:13:06.640 --> 0:13:09.840 super important to talk about And the reason I constantly 0:13:09.880 --> 0:13:13.520 ask people what generation they are because I'm understanding that 0:13:13.600 --> 0:13:17.360 each generation goes through something different. On first generation, so 0:13:17.400 --> 0:13:20.520 I'm literally like, okay, navigating too worlds, and my parents 0:13:20.559 --> 0:13:22.319 think that if I go to therapy, I'm going to 0:13:22.440 --> 0:13:24.840 end up in a psychord like there's such a stigma 0:13:24.920 --> 0:13:27.720 behind it. I would encourage I'm first energy, so my 0:13:27.760 --> 0:13:30.320 kids would be second generation, so I would actually encourage that. 0:13:30.480 --> 0:13:33.240 Now that those kinds have just changed, like it's actually 0:13:33.320 --> 0:13:36.559 just recently, I think the pandemic opened the doors law 0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:39.439 and I appreciate that the world is now more understanding 0:13:39.679 --> 0:13:42.840 of mental health issues and what it can cause us 0:13:42.840 --> 0:13:45.920 because now we have a lot more resources. But in 0:13:45.960 --> 0:13:50.200 our culture, man, it's just so important for us to 0:13:50.240 --> 0:13:54.640 talk about us navigating too worlds, especially because we look 0:13:54.720 --> 0:13:58.200 different and we're in a season of unlearning a lot 0:13:58.240 --> 0:14:05.040 of things culturally, politically, human wise. So I think it's 0:14:05.080 --> 0:14:07.520 just a lot of change, and especially our generation, like 0:14:07.559 --> 0:14:10.120 we were born at a time when the internet wasn't 0:14:10.160 --> 0:14:12.520 even what it is today. We grew I mean, I 0:14:12.559 --> 0:14:15.200 remember dial up. So I think especially for us growing 0:14:15.280 --> 0:14:17.840 up where we're constantly going through a lot of changes, 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:21.520 is really necessary, especially with our parents, who I mean 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:24.320 never even had cell phones, I imagine the changes are 0:14:24.360 --> 0:14:26.600 going through. So I think, yea more so than anything 0:14:26.600 --> 0:14:30.240 with mental health, I think the first thing to for 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:33.280 us to do is to understand and forgive and have grace. 0:14:33.440 --> 0:14:35.600 Like I was we were talking about our parents earlier, 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:38.480 I have to tell myself and repeat, they didn't know 0:14:38.520 --> 0:14:42.720 any better, they didn't understand. I grew up differently, they're 0:14:42.760 --> 0:14:45.560 from a different generation. I have to have grace for 0:14:45.600 --> 0:14:47.120 the way that they're talking to me, or the way 0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:48.960 they're viewing me, or for the way that they raised me, 0:14:49.000 --> 0:14:51.560 and it's my job now at thirty four almost thirty 0:14:51.560 --> 0:14:55.240 five years old, to change the way that or change 0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:58.280 the plugs that they put into my brain and like 0:14:58.840 --> 0:15:01.520 just reorder them as far as how I view the world, 0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:04.560 how I view myself, how I view relationships. I'm still 0:15:04.600 --> 0:15:07.080 single at you know, at this age, and I never 0:15:07.120 --> 0:15:10.920 thought that would be because you know, culturally it's unheard of, right, 0:15:11.080 --> 0:15:13.400 but it's it's also not a bad thing. And I'm 0:15:13.440 --> 0:15:15.360 glad and thank you for saying that I represent Latina 0:15:15.360 --> 0:15:17.400 as well, because I'm really trying. I'm also trying to 0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:20.040 now is a thirty four year old single woman, like 0:15:20.560 --> 0:15:22.440 you know, kind of bleed out that stigma that we 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:25.200 have to be young when we get married, young, when 0:15:25.240 --> 0:15:29.080 we have kids, or you know, we're no good. Absolutely, 0:15:29.120 --> 0:15:31.800 that's something that I had to kind of a hump 0:15:31.840 --> 0:15:35.720 in the road that I had to just overcome. Was oh, 0:15:36.720 --> 0:15:39.160 like you yeah, I was married and I got divorced 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:40.840 and I have no kids yet, and oh are my 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:43.920 like the fact that I have to do perhaps IVF 0:15:43.960 --> 0:15:45.600 to get pregnant if I want kids. It's kind of 0:15:45.600 --> 0:15:47.240 like for a long time in our culture, it was 0:15:47.280 --> 0:15:50.280 my eggs you did, good job. I'm so proud of you. 0:15:50.400 --> 0:15:52.920 I haven't done it yet, and I think it takes 0:15:52.920 --> 0:15:55.240 so much pressure off because it's kind of like, oh, 0:15:55.280 --> 0:15:57.280 you got to go that route. You're broken. It's that's 0:15:57.400 --> 0:16:00.800 you know, no cedras and its way no no, no no. 0:16:00.960 --> 0:16:03.000 Things have changed, and like what you said is having 0:16:03.040 --> 0:16:06.360 grace and just understanding people that came before us and 0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:09.000 our grandparents and even my mom. She was very like 0:16:09.080 --> 0:16:11.720 open minded and very hip, a very hip mom, but 0:16:11.800 --> 0:16:14.920 she was also very traditional, you know what I mean 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:17.560 in certain things that I'm like, Okay, now I have 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:19.840 more compassion for her now that I've gotten older or whatever. 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:23.480 But absolutely I think that everything you're saying about mental 0:16:23.520 --> 0:16:26.760 health and making it okay like along for a long time. 0:16:26.840 --> 0:16:28.520 I mean, I think it's getting a little better, but 0:16:28.520 --> 0:16:32.480 it's like boys don't cry, you know, and it's like, okay, guys, 0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:34.600 should you know it's okay to be vulnerable, it's okay 0:16:34.640 --> 0:16:37.000 to do therapy. That doesn't mean that there's something wrong 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:38.680 with you. It's no worse. See, I think we all 0:16:38.720 --> 0:16:41.560 need it, right But okay, So that's a great example. 0:16:41.680 --> 0:16:45.480 I totally agree. But because I was raised for so 0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:48.080 many years believing that a man is in a man 0:16:48.080 --> 0:16:51.560 if he cries. I still get uncomfortable when a man cries. Really, 0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:53.760 it makes me so uncomfortable. So I have to sit 0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:57.040 back and be like, Okay, I'm uncomfortable because this is 0:16:57.040 --> 0:17:01.120 what I was taught. This is okay, I he's allowed 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:03.400 to cry. He's a human being. So it's like retraining, 0:17:03.440 --> 0:17:05.280 and I think that's where a lot of our mental 0:17:05.280 --> 0:17:09.600 health issues also stem from the retraining, the relearning. It's insane, 0:17:09.600 --> 0:17:11.560 and it could be something as simple as that that's 0:17:11.560 --> 0:17:14.159 going it triggered anyone that's listening right now, or something 0:17:14.200 --> 0:17:16.239 else that was triggling, Like you know, there's a lot 0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:20.480 of tweets about what parents say to us when we're little. 0:17:20.560 --> 0:17:23.960 Like let's say, if you rip the banana, you're gonna faint, 0:17:24.000 --> 0:17:28.840 and then it happens one time, you're like oh yeah, yeah, 0:17:29.000 --> 0:17:31.400 So like how long does it take you to understand 0:17:31.440 --> 0:17:33.200 that just because you rip the banana, you don't faint, 0:17:33.520 --> 0:17:36.359 you know, or something like that. So it's hard. It's 0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:39.159 it's a trigger. So even that I'm like, okay, I 0:17:39.200 --> 0:17:41.280 have to understand if it was a different time, it 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:44.320 was a different time. This is morally correct, this is 0:17:44.400 --> 0:17:47.119 not this is old, it's not traditional. We're in a 0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:51.880 new world. It's it's hard. Yeah, it's giving yourself that therapy, 0:17:52.040 --> 0:17:53.880 you know what I mean, it's just speaking to yourself. 0:17:53.920 --> 0:17:56.640 And one thing from the short time that like we've 0:17:56.680 --> 0:17:59.760 been speaking and talking, it's like you're very very enlightened. 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:02.119 Like I don't think you're a smart woman, Like I 0:18:02.160 --> 0:18:06.679 can tell you've done your internal work. And and I 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:09.199 did hear on Jay Shetty, you your interview a few 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:12.080 years back where your journal. Do you still do that 0:18:12.160 --> 0:18:14.680 journal and write letters to God or no? Yeah, I 0:18:14.760 --> 0:18:18.000 still have. I've been pretty bad about it lately because 0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:21.719 I've been more focused on meditating differently. It's so funny 0:18:21.720 --> 0:18:23.879 that Jay Shetty podcast that you brought up, because I 0:18:23.920 --> 0:18:26.880 just talked to him the other day and I said, Jay, 0:18:26.880 --> 0:18:29.680 I really want to do that interview again, and he was, yeah, okay, 0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:32.320 and I was like no, seriously, I was so depressed 0:18:32.760 --> 0:18:36.040 during that time that like every not everything I said, 0:18:36.080 --> 0:18:37.800 I was I can't even listen to it. But also 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:40.320 I was like I wore a baseball cap and a sweater. 0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:43.000 I was very tired. I wouldn't wear any makeup, but 0:18:43.040 --> 0:18:45.040 I was like, I also just didn't feel good about myself. 0:18:45.080 --> 0:18:48.359 I was so depressed and that relationship I was in 0:18:48.359 --> 0:18:51.040 that I was talking about wasn't great and I was 0:18:51.320 --> 0:18:56.119 blaming myself in the podcast about it, and I was like, wow, 0:18:56.200 --> 0:18:58.840 I'm still doing this to myself. So we broke up 0:18:58.880 --> 0:19:01.359