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Speaker 1: Welcome back to another episode Alchemy. Yes, I'm your host,

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Speaker 1: Kevin polog Yes that Kevin? What's that? Well? Why don't

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Speaker 1: you try talking more and listening less? Okay, but I digress.

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Speaker 1: Let's meet our Alchemist show we know particular order. Say

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Speaker 1: hello to Fessa Raging and your name three of the

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Speaker 1: seven Wonders of the World, Dan Don the Kakowski is back?

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Speaker 1: Which cheese was it? Limburger? Got it? Llama? Lama? What it's?

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Speaker 1: Chris Alvarado cuckoock? Chris? Are you finished with that yet?

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Speaker 1: I just need a couple more days, a couple more days,

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Speaker 1: and then and then and then it's it's just you know,

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Speaker 1: but just a couple more starting now. Okay, pop your court.

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Speaker 1: Because James Heeney has returned, Dr heen are you still

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Speaker 1: able to tell Joey apart say that one more time?

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Speaker 1: What was the part labor? Are you still able to

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Speaker 1: tell Joey apart apart from what thank you? I wanted

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Speaker 1: to answer cross beautiful? Yes, all right, yeah, because it

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Speaker 1: shows you're ready to improvise. And last, but man, you

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Speaker 1: find this difficult to understand if you think of least

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Speaker 1: it is Joey Greer grammy Baby one more time. Why

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Speaker 1: can't you make it Friday? I think I'm sleeping man

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Speaker 1: Friday is that's why the fish All right, let's do

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Speaker 1: a damn show. It's always our special thanks to our

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Speaker 1: Patreon v i P members. Those of you still want

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Speaker 1: to be a part of the supergroup fans enjoy all

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Speaker 1: the specific content available only to them. Head over to

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Speaker 1: patreon dot com slash alchemy this. Almost all of our

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Speaker 1: scenes suggestions are gathered from our listener emails. If you'd

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Speaker 1: like to submit yours, please right to the podcast at

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Speaker 1: your name here Talco, to this dot com that's your

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Speaker 1: name here at alchemy, this dot com that's right See.

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Speaker 1: Number one comes from Patreon v i P Aaron M.

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Speaker 1: Who wrote, hey, quote unquote, Kevin, I have another scene,

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Speaker 1: suggested snoop a hosting the Oscars goodbye, and then he

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Speaker 1: added also fake Kevin. I do recognize that because I

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Speaker 1: I right back to these people and this one Saron

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Speaker 1: does not believe it's me or also fake Kevin. I

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Speaker 1: do recognize that you guys have quite a following and

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Speaker 1: probably get an unbelievable amount of scene suggestions, so I

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Speaker 1: don't mind that it will probably be a while before

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Speaker 1: my second suggestion is used. Not that you give a

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Speaker 1: shit what I think, but I want my feelings to

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Speaker 1: be known because I refuse to let you win from Aaron. Now,

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Speaker 1: I think that's hilarious. I saw Vin on there and

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Speaker 1: I was like, I don't even know if I should

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Speaker 1: read this. It seems like it is coming from a

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Speaker 1: weird spot, but I think he's hilarious. He is. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I'm glad I've gotten to here now. Entirely I think

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Speaker 1: he needs to have a higher self esteem, right, we do?

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Speaker 1: We do? That's the character feelings. So the question is

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Speaker 1: he playing that character or is that who? I think?

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Speaker 1: Sometimes the characters we play the bastard based on ourselves.

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Speaker 1: That's all we have time for it today. When you've

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Speaker 1: got a button like that, show business has taught me

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Speaker 1: to cut and run. Alright, Snuper hosting the auctions. Welcome

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Speaker 1: back to the seven eight four Academo. Please welcome to

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Speaker 1: our hostess the lots pods and try the the comedy.

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Speaker 1: These are all things happened in movies. Who are you? Oh,

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Speaker 1: it's my streame, honor, Oh ladies that I've just like

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Speaker 1: to think of the Academy and how did this happen.

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Speaker 1: I goddamn, she's eating a fucking can of mayonnaise on

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Speaker 1: the goddamn stage. Problem. Go to camera toon why is

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Speaker 1: that the problem? Camera to go to camera Kanye in

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Speaker 1: the audience? Yes, why because I can't look at her eating? Man,

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Speaker 1: don't I'm going to Knie. It doesn't meant anything else

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Speaker 1: besides this thing, even Mannaise. Can we just talk quickly

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Speaker 1: about how we even got this person here? Yes? Now

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Speaker 1: where the room? I think it was an audience vote.

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Speaker 1: I think I think the people want you to think.

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Speaker 1: That's exactly what it was. The audience wants her here,

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Speaker 1: and that's why she's here. And we don't control academy, okay,

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Speaker 1: And as an institution, we should not be listening to people. Okay.

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Speaker 1: We are chosen my God to tell people what they

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Speaker 1: like to understand. I cannot reach. I would love to

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Speaker 1: take a volunteer from the front row. Benjamin Rapt, not

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Speaker 1: go up there, Jermin bra al right, everyone beaminscars have

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Speaker 1: I'm so far but hoping. Well, everybody's like boo, now, Benjamin,

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Speaker 1: it's under the where a brawl strap would be in

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Speaker 1: the back, but there are no brawl strap. But there

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Speaker 1: are some strings. She just gave away best Picture to

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Speaker 1: Benjamin Bratt. She cannot do that, and what does she

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Speaker 1: have that award? What does he have that award? Who

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Speaker 1: put that on her? Go to camera three? Right now,

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Speaker 1: to camera three. I'm not watching this woman want this

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Speaker 1: best film, Benjamin bra Thank you you got best actress.

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Speaker 1: I'm though, all right, well you got best supporter, you

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Speaker 1: got the best small Benjamin. I showed up tonight with

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Speaker 1: no oscars and I'm leaving with seventeen. Everybody's like, yeah,

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Speaker 1: commercial in three to one. Okay, we're at commercial Ford

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Speaker 1: trucks on trucks. I'm not lot stuff there, Benjamin Bratt

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Speaker 1: is those close to fingering? Okay, listen, we know we

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Speaker 1: have envelopes and stuff. Right, there's a procedure. It's okay.

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Speaker 1: I figured out. I rode the room. I was confused

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Speaker 1: at first. I read the room right off that I

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Speaker 1: want everybody to be taking Listen, we have leader said

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Speaker 1: they're trying to make me wear Christian See you know

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Speaker 1: he's the next present of trucks Ford. Yeah, here a

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Speaker 1: little click clouse. Don't worry, it's for toe nails up next. Well,

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Speaker 1: I'd love to bring a man up to this known

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Speaker 1: for Um, I'm dang it, just class. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna just I'm this a smoking mirrors. I've been

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Speaker 1: trying to read the dank screen. I'm looking a screen.

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Speaker 1: I can't read them. I've been wining that. But you're

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Speaker 1: terrible at this. You're terrible whatever you do. Okay, I'm

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Speaker 1: Willie Crystal and if you want me to host, I

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Speaker 1: can do it now. I'll I'm Willie Crispall. I can

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Speaker 1: host it if you need me. I'm Willie Cryspall. Uh,

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Speaker 1: don't go far, Willy, because you don't say it right here.

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Speaker 1: You want me to sing? Do you want me to dance?

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Speaker 1: I'm Willie crysp a taxi driver himself out cryin. I

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Speaker 1: don't understand what's happening. Uh. They got some words written,

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Speaker 1: O dare, But I think I should help the audience

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Speaker 1: figure out what's not going on the first seven minutes

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Speaker 1: of the show. WHOA a big fan off Schnoofer. I

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Speaker 1: think she's deconstructing the nonsense that is awards. Why we

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Speaker 1: do this? We pit ourselves against each other. Let's all

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Speaker 1: hail Snooper. Whatever the hell she is, I'm florid Categorian

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Speaker 1: Best Supporting Actor. The nominees are bred already. One Craig

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Speaker 1: Atkowski in These Are My Balls Gamezini, don't touch my

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Speaker 1: hash fro Joey grab hold the door, Chriss Alvorado look

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Speaker 1: at this? And Kevin Pollock what happened? And the Academy

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Speaker 1: Award ghost to Benjamin everybody. People don't see these are

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Speaker 1: my balls, Lucas. What the I was nominated and you

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Speaker 1: said I was gonna fucking win, Lucas. You said I

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Speaker 1: was gonna win. Yeah, well, yeah, I know I should have.

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Speaker 1: I was told you were gonna win. How many people

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Speaker 1: did I have that? I don't think we can control

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Speaker 1: how many people that I have to dance for the

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Speaker 1: Academy seventy people. I danced for Hunt on my tiptoes,

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Speaker 1: all right, I danced for them. You tell me what

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Speaker 1: you want to make it up? No, no, no, no no,

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Speaker 1: I want to host the show. I don't give as

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Speaker 1: not coming back. I wanted. I wanted to win. Knock knock, knock. Fucus.

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Speaker 1: You put a pretty hefty bet down there. He was

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Speaker 1: gonna win a pet bet gamble. He put some chips

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Speaker 1: in the ball and the chips didn't land where he

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Speaker 1: said they words, who I need that money? Chips in

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Speaker 1: the bolden Land? Yeah, no, there was no, there was

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Speaker 1: no What kind of pet did you gamble with? German shepherd? German?

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Speaker 1: He better need that German shepherd. I need a German

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Speaker 1: shepherd's worth of dog. I'm gonna listen, academy. The good

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Speaker 1: news is the people are loving it. We have the

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Speaker 1: highest ratings we've had since and you know that was

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Speaker 1: a then that's then, Yeah, big year for us. So, um,

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Speaker 1: this is what the people want. People? What the dude?

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Speaker 1: The head in the cylinder seems to agree our oldest members.

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Speaker 1: He looks great. It looks great for it feels great.

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Speaker 1: I feel like somebody should change the water in Disney's bowls.

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Speaker 1: I don't want to change the water last time. Yeah, fishes,

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Speaker 1: Let's go back to snoopersh she's doing great. Actually, Okay,

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Speaker 1: so this is my own wrath. If I could get

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Speaker 1: a camera to zoom in on this disgust I had. Okay,

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Speaker 1: that's not true. This is a graceful aminal. What I'd

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Speaker 1: like to do? Can I get a spot on their own? Wow?

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Speaker 1: You're top not just a great Okay, I want to

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Speaker 1: there's someone. There's some cheese and the audience here. Come

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Speaker 1: on up, Come on up. What's your name? Leonardo Deesio,

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Speaker 1: leonardosper Let must look at the chick. He's a sound mixer. Boo,

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Speaker 1: getting up the stage. Okay, I'm out of here. Here's

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Speaker 1: what Jesus, thank you, no telling it. I lost the

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Speaker 1: dang round. That was one of my most and other knows.

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Speaker 1: The coronavirus is spreading through the academy. People in the

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Speaker 1: oscars are quarantined for the next seventy two hours to

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Speaker 1: make sure the virus is contained. Dad, how do you

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Speaker 1: know all this? We're just watching them telepathic communed with

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Speaker 1: my spirit. But you will let go by Action News

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Speaker 1: five about a month ago. Yes, I defecated on it.

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Speaker 1: When do we go back to talking like us, like

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Speaker 1: a family. This is how I talk? This is how

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Speaker 1: I talk? Is it? Yes? You know what. I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: go for a walk in five minutes. See if you

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Speaker 1: can find mom wire out there. Wow, that one hurts me.

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Speaker 1: Back to you, Kyle, anything to eat? Dad? How do

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Speaker 1: you know that the coronavirus has infected the academy? Oh?

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Speaker 1: Don't you? I'm telling I think I commune with spirits

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Speaker 1: my bad. Okay, So what we're gonna have to do.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna have to lock down the room. We're gonna

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Speaker 1: to lock down the set. Everyone's going to have to stay.

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Speaker 1: Some rat. You don't know. It was a pregnant rat

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Speaker 1: and it was a pregnant rat and I saw babies scatter.

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Speaker 1: We have it on the campra it. That's exactly what happened.

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Speaker 1: And do you know how many babies a rat can happen? Six?

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Speaker 1: Cut to the footage. That's right, this rat had six.

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Speaker 1: We're still popular on TikTok. This, this simulcast is going

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Speaker 1: wild on TikTok. What does that mean? Listen, Grandma, the

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Speaker 1: future of the Academy? Okay, like people are just dancing

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Speaker 1: Jiff's am I incorrect? Gotta get to the Vanity Fair party.

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Speaker 1: I gotta get Bigwhere I got to get to Vanity?

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Speaker 1: Oh that was sorry. Look, even though we're sequestered for

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Speaker 1: the next three days, there's no obligation to continue with

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Speaker 1: the broadcast, right, I disagree. We got to get the

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Speaker 1: people they want. We're getting lights, we're getting stars, we're

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Speaker 1: getting thumbs up. This is we gotta go don't know

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Speaker 1: what on TV. Both seventy one million on tik tak.

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Speaker 1: Oh my god. Well, maybe this is the best outbreak

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Speaker 1: we've ever had. That's what I'm thinking since the film Outbreak,

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Speaker 1: which was great. Maybe the outbreak can get to snoof

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Speaker 1: and we can have a new host come in right away.

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Speaker 1: Why do we want to stop the one thing that

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Speaker 1: is bringing us all these viewers? Do you think that's

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Speaker 1: what it is? I'm old school, I'm seventy four years Jesus,

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Speaker 1: and I remember the day the host would do a

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Speaker 1: little soft look you look great, Look great, seventy four

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Speaker 1: part of their body that's so chubby it runs up

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Speaker 1: against another part of their body that makes a little

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Speaker 1: fold hole. Right, everybody, That's what I'm saying that we

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Speaker 1: all do. We all have fold holes? How do I

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Speaker 1: This is a very flat question. If you're into that,

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Speaker 1: you know a lot of I just chasing my rotes around,

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Speaker 1: honest for good, that's all out. I'm on, Mr President,

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Speaker 1: Mr President, we have an issue. I'm reading my book.

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Speaker 1: I understand that. But we need to clean the academy.

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Speaker 1: Excuse me, we need a nuke it. We have to

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Speaker 1: kill all the famous actors. Okay, okay, okay, honey, come

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Speaker 1: back to bad Please put the book down. Maybe it's

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Speaker 1: maybe it's time present lay down with my wife for

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Speaker 1: a while. Yes, sir, no famous people. Roger, ma'am, how

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Speaker 1: do you stop this converence? I'm fine, little spooner, big

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Speaker 1: spoon ma'am. You got it, ma'am. Thank you. Gentlemen, I've

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Speaker 1: been told it's time. I'm sorry. I wasn't prepared the

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Speaker 1: time for what to nuke the oscars? Mr President, this

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Speaker 1: is this is outrageous. Also, I know it's not a

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Speaker 1: great time, but I wish you'd acknowledge it's not all

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Speaker 1: men in the room. When you when you apply for

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Speaker 1: this job, you said you were just like and I

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Speaker 1: quote one of the guys, I said that when I

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Speaker 1: was under arrest, Are you under arrest? Now? I was

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Speaker 1: never under exactly. All Right, here we go, it's Mr

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Speaker 1: President to you. We both need to turn these keys

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Speaker 1: and you have to push the button at the same time.

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Speaker 1: But you can't turn this back. This is a nuclear weapon.

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Speaker 1: Who was giving you this this advice? By the way,

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Speaker 1: the the handsome guard who stands in front of my

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Speaker 1: Johnny Johnny with the jaw gorgeous or is he like

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Speaker 1: gorgeous gorgeous. We all want to hit that. I hit

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Speaker 1: that deal. I don't want to make a big deal. Yeah, well,

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Speaker 1: I mean he's a good kisser. Let's just oh my god.

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Speaker 1: So why do you think he wants to get rid

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Speaker 1: of the academy? I think, Danny, what I mean? I

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Speaker 1: don't usually, Yes, we'll have a bottle of wine to split,

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Speaker 1: to split it right away? Oh well, what was startling about?

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Speaker 1: What I said? Well, what are you talking to the

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Speaker 1: just usually sa to split it? Just the bottom of one.

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Speaker 1: I understand that one could have it to themselves, well right,

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Speaker 1: but I would be bringing it to the tip just

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Speaker 1: you saying you're gonna split the bottle of one. I

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Speaker 1: found it cute, honestly, Oh my god, you're so good looking.

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Speaker 1: I'll be back with a bottle of wine, two straws.

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Speaker 1: So I was surprised that we were splitting it because

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Speaker 1: I didn't I didn't even know I was going to

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Speaker 1: have any wine? What less half a bottle? Do not

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Speaker 1: want any? Uh? It's okay, I'm good with the half

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Speaker 1: bottle of wine. Can we have also a plate of

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Speaker 1: spaghetti as an appetizer? To split? Sure? Thing? Two straws?

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Speaker 1: Excuse me? I I couldn't help but notice you from

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Speaker 1: across the restaurant. I'm an elderly Southern senator, and I

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Speaker 1: believe the homosexuality is an abomination. Sir, Yeah, I would

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Speaker 1: like to make love to you right here in this restaurant.

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Speaker 1: So there's anything I can to bridge your hate to

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Speaker 1: peace and love, then let me make love to you

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Speaker 1: right now. Please please excuse me, Danny, All right, here

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Speaker 1: we go. Hey, Craig, Craig, open the stall. Come on, no, listen, listen,

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Speaker 1: you got robbed, you got no I got robbed, but

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Speaker 1: everyone else knows that too fine. I got the Globe,

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Speaker 1: I got the Sag New York critics. Everybody loves. These

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Speaker 1: are my balls, I know, I know. Are you sure

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Speaker 1: that Pricinto didn't open the wrong envelope? We're not sure

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Speaker 1: that at all. You know, it's been it's crazy out there,

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Speaker 1: it's crazy. What is that? It's just me and a

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Speaker 1: rat hanging out the stall? And that scene what much

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Speaker 1: like me and Julio's down in the schoolyard. It's just

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Speaker 1: me and a rat hanging out in the stall. Too.

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Speaker 1: Comes Philip or Philip. We're not sure who wrote, Hey,

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Speaker 1: alchemists a burned out anesthesiologist walks into a bar looking

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Speaker 1: forward to your take on it, Philip. I'm gonna get

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Speaker 1: some more ice please, Yeah, sure, thanks, Jimmy, I appreciate it. Still,

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Speaker 1: I can't believe I give this kid a job. I mean,

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Speaker 1: what's the fucking boem more rice? Yeah? Thanks, Jimmy, got

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Speaker 1: a pbr up? Okay, thanks, I'll take that pbr Oh

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Speaker 1: all right, you're gonna get you anything else? So? Would

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Speaker 1: you love? Got peanuts? Would be great? Do you have

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Speaker 1: peanut butter sandwiches? It's a bar, ma'am. I'm sorry, I can.

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, we can make a drink out of that,

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Speaker 1: if that's what you want. I'd like to crusts or

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Speaker 1: no crust, no crust. Hey, what's your name? What's your name? Scott? Scott?

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Speaker 1: Great name, Thanks bartender. Can you just give me something

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Speaker 1: that really knocked me the funk out? I want to

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Speaker 1: just be fucking knocked out. Is one of those days.

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Speaker 1: I'm happy to make that drink. Thank you, something really strong?

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Speaker 1: You know, I got your point? Sid you I mean,

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Speaker 1: like you gotta over explain things. You know you want

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Speaker 1: to drink. It's gonna kick your ass. I want to

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Speaker 1: be knocked out. Okay, one more time. You know what,

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Speaker 1: at this point in time, drink is not beetlejuice. You

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Speaker 1: don't gotta say, hey, hey, hey, come on, come in

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Speaker 1: here to relax. Yeah, I'm sorry, sorry, it's probably fine.

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Speaker 1: What's your name, but my name's Jerry. Jerry, you want

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Speaker 1: to get knocked out. I want to get knocked the funk?

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Speaker 1: Oh stay, I wish I could erased from my memory.

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Speaker 1: Here's your drink, Jerry. I think I have to rest.

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Speaker 1: That actually happened, baby? Maybe yes? Can we get two martins?

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Speaker 1: Were celebrating our anniversary. It's a good day. What my

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Speaker 1: tin is not a thing? You gotta specify what kind

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00:20:13,600 --> 00:20:15,800
Speaker 1: of martini? Try Martini? What do you want? You want

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Speaker 1: to Cosmo? Baby, Cosmos? Let's get too cosmos. As a

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Speaker 1: man bleating from the mass of the bar. I think

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Speaker 1: I'll take care of it. Jerry, you want to uh,

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Speaker 1: you want to lose your blues? Don't think I just

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Speaker 1: think I left the tooth. So you're feeling better about you.

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Speaker 1: I'm not feeling better For a second. I don't get it.

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Speaker 1: I don't get either. I'm not being witty. Oh it

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Speaker 1: hurts a lot now, I really need to be knocked

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Speaker 1: out from the pain and from the day's back back

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Speaker 1: I'm carrying. Yeah, no, oh no, what are you so

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Speaker 1: afraid of? Absolutely fraid of a bomb? Does look like

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Speaker 1: a pressure cooker or some shorts? Well that is a canister,

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Speaker 1: whole a series of ivy bags. I could sedate you,

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00:21:05,560 --> 00:21:08,440
Speaker 1: if you know what I mean? Were you here right here?

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Speaker 1: So I remember the first time we met. I remember

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00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 1: we were underneath the rocks, the waves were crashing. I

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00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 1: was drowning, and you came down, you picked up with

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Speaker 1: your feet, and you brought me back up to life.

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Speaker 1: And I think about that almost every day, because I

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Speaker 1: don't know if I was going to have another day

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Speaker 1: if it wasn't for you. It was a days almost

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Speaker 1: like today. To Cosmos, which again are not Martinage, Thank

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Speaker 1: you very much Cosmos. Cosmos, you're like caynouts or something.

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00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:35,119
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, put them in the drink, you know. So

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Speaker 1: what was your name again, Grace? Will you hold this

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Speaker 1: bag up higher for him? Yeah? Absolutely, there you go.

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Speaker 1: Look at this. Am I allowed to be doing this

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Speaker 1: a night? You're a nurse now I am, Oh my god,

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Speaker 1: congratulations A for a while over it. Now you're a

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Speaker 1: in yeah, so, Scott, Why why the bag full of sacks?

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00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:09,000
Speaker 1: It's what I do. I'm a traveling anesthesiologist. Oh say

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00:22:09,080 --> 00:22:13,680
Speaker 1: that three times, traveling on the stesiologist, traveling, traveling, sneezing,

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00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:23,080
Speaker 1: traveling sneezing allergy PBR. Please you got it? Ah? Hey,

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00:22:23,160 --> 00:22:25,360
Speaker 1: I could have helped over here. What are you going

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00:22:25,400 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 1: to bag? I got the bag, I got the goodies,

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00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:31,639
Speaker 1: as they say, well, so, how much you're looking for

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00:22:31,760 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 1: a good night sleep? You're looking to forget some things?

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00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:36,919
Speaker 1: You tell me. I'm looking to clean up my blood?

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00:22:38,960 --> 00:22:42,199
Speaker 1: You want a full transfusion. And what I'm thinking arm

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Speaker 1: is really That's what I was gonna say. Nurse, you

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Speaker 1: think you can hold a bag up for an entire

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Speaker 1: how long does it that TRANSI? You are? What's up? Phil?

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Speaker 1: We can't have anybody sleeping in the bar? Yeah, no, ship,

347
00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 1: you can't pull this in. Hey, toothless Joe? You want

348
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:06,879
Speaker 1: walk around? Oh my god? The fire departments here, all right,

349
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Speaker 1: I'm gonna take this guy out. Phil. You don't need

350
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Speaker 1: to come in here with your hat and jacket. Everyone

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Speaker 1: knows you work for the fire Are you sure? Because

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Speaker 1: I say that people so I know you don't. I

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Speaker 1: don't have a badge. I'm not a cop. Alright, I

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Speaker 1: got over my hat and jacket. All right, let me

355
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Speaker 1: get this guy out of here. You, my friend, are

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Speaker 1: gonna work on a ship, all right? Do I go

357
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Speaker 1: with him? Do I like off the back? What do it?

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Speaker 1: The choice is yours by So about that blood transfer? Yeah, yeah, sure,

359
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:34,159
Speaker 1: let's do it. I mean, I know it's not your

360
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:36,119
Speaker 1: regular gig, but clearly you know how it works. But

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Speaker 1: I know how it works. You see those two you

362
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:42,040
Speaker 1: see the happy couple over there? Do you we got

363
00:23:42,119 --> 00:23:45,640
Speaker 1: to convince one of them be the blood daughter? Yeah,

364
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:48,360
Speaker 1: we do. And I can hook up a little situation here.

365
00:23:48,480 --> 00:23:50,359
Speaker 1: We need to know what kind of blood type. I

366
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:52,920
Speaker 1: can tell by your eyes, man the Master, and I

367
00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 1: put it off. Then wake up, So wake up. Nobody's

368
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 1: sleep pretty on my ship? Good after your scurvy dom

369
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,879
Speaker 1: And what's your name is? I? Oh, I thought you

370
00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:10,760
Speaker 1: brought it, just like what you guys are doing to

371
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:21,879
Speaker 1: Hi real pirates. Oh my god, Shanghai. Now listen, listen,

372
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,480
Speaker 1: you're forced to work on the ship for the wrist

373
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Speaker 1: of your days. I just gotta get rid of some

374
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 1: more of those teeth. But I've already lost one too,

375
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,879
Speaker 1: the more to go. You know what, I think this

376
00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:41,520
Speaker 1: was a misunderstanding metal pipe? What is that pipe now?

377
00:24:41,720 --> 00:24:46,080
Speaker 1: Your tongue stuck to the pipe? Yeah no, But you

378
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:53,440
Speaker 1: know the thing I really sorry that most excuse me,

379
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:56,000
Speaker 1: excuse me, and the thing that I love high part

380
00:24:56,040 --> 00:25:02,479
Speaker 1: of me ye hi hi, So the one second one

381
00:25:02,640 --> 00:25:04,840
Speaker 1: thing that I can always sorry, But I don't think

382
00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:11,400
Speaker 1: it's gonna work. Spit your beer out all over the place.

383
00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,800
Speaker 1: I'll clean it up. I couldn't believe they blew you

384
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,320
Speaker 1: off like that, and I was aggressive. I don't you

385
00:25:16,359 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 1: know what I did get as that's that's called happiness.

386
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:24,480
Speaker 1: So they were oblivious. Hey, look who's back? Jesus that

387
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 1: your parents? No it's not. I didn't know. He was

388
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 1: still on me. Oh my good. Um. Some think really

389
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:36,720
Speaker 1: weird happen. Um. I went to the ship with the

390
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,359
Speaker 1: fireman and I didn't know what we were doing. But

391
00:25:39,560 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 1: the guy that I was only the bag for it

392
00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:46,000
Speaker 1: is the mouth stick to a pipe and you need

393
00:25:46,040 --> 00:25:49,359
Speaker 1: another drink? I totally need. I had walked a plank.

394
00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 1: But he'll be captain. You want to be captain? You

395
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,520
Speaker 1: hearing me? If I walk, I'll be captain now, I

396
00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:58,200
Speaker 1: walk the plank. I'm walking a plank. I don't even

397
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 1: know how to roll ship like this. Why don't you

398
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,119
Speaker 1: think pestially to let a mutiny already? You've been on

399
00:26:04,280 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 1: board ten minutes. This wasn't We're already overthrowing our beloved.

400
00:26:09,160 --> 00:26:12,879
Speaker 1: Put the swords down, everybody, I captain. Wow, this is

401
00:26:12,960 --> 00:26:16,399
Speaker 1: a lot of power. Where shall we go? Lea Shorts

402
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,080
Speaker 1: the way and explain again how you tend to roll

403
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 1: this book. I don't know the rowing aspect of it.

404
00:26:21,920 --> 00:26:27,479
Speaker 1: But let's go to Santa Barbara should just be up

405
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:33,159
Speaker 1: north part of me? Um Hi, hi, hi? You know

406
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:37,320
Speaker 1: the thing that I It's just I can more than

407
00:26:37,359 --> 00:26:42,159
Speaker 1: your hair. Cosmo, right, Cosmo? You want Cosmos again? What

408
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:47,120
Speaker 1: can I get you around the Cosmos? Yeah? Let's follow

409
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 1: this man at the bar. Come on here, uh so

410
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:52,440
Speaker 1: bartender tube, Cosmos? Please do guys, it's going okay, thank you.

411
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 1: That's going on with that needle? Yeah, oh it's in me,

412
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:58,680
Speaker 1: It's in me. Okay, Oh it's in me too. Here

413
00:26:58,760 --> 00:27:00,680
Speaker 1: you go. I want ton at you two for a

414
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:03,400
Speaker 1: very long time. It seems that you too, Bobby, get

415
00:27:03,440 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 1: over here here, put this needle in your butt, all right? Okay,

416
00:27:10,080 --> 00:27:15,160
Speaker 1: so how um I Scott, I know we just met

417
00:27:16,200 --> 00:27:20,120
Speaker 1: and I'm so grateful you maybe an urn, but I don't.

418
00:27:20,359 --> 00:27:23,080
Speaker 1: I feel like this is unethical and I don't know

419
00:27:23,200 --> 00:27:27,920
Speaker 1: what the people the three people tethered with blood feels

420
00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:34,080
Speaker 1: bade God, no, perfect, be positive. Look at that. I'm

421
00:27:34,119 --> 00:27:38,520
Speaker 1: be positive. Okay, great. So you said you worked at

422
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 1: a hospital before, Well, yes I did. It was called um,

423
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:49,119
Speaker 1: it was called Chebby's Point. Here you go, uh and

424
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,600
Speaker 1: just give us a second. What we're doing some surgery here?

425
00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:56,560
Speaker 1: So right? That is not the bar off of main

426
00:27:56,640 --> 00:28:01,479
Speaker 1: Street in UK bird Stone. Oh you know you're sitting. Well,

427
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:04,920
Speaker 1: this is a stint. This is a stint here you sorry,

428
00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,560
Speaker 1: I don't have gloves on. If that's it, it's getting

429
00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,720
Speaker 1: one second? Look what are you doing? What do you do?

430
00:28:10,200 --> 00:28:11,680
Speaker 1: I'm doing surgery. I don't be you're yelling at in

431
00:28:11,760 --> 00:28:13,600
Speaker 1: front of like someone I'm interviewing. I'm not yelling it.

432
00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:15,280
Speaker 1: You were. You were like this. I had to repeat

433
00:28:15,320 --> 00:28:17,800
Speaker 1: myself because you didn't understand a common tool that we

434
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:19,359
Speaker 1: use in the opera. You know that I thought, I

435
00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:23,240
Speaker 1: honestly a squirting area. You might want to we know

436
00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:25,840
Speaker 1: what we know what to do with that. It can

437
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,440
Speaker 1: squirt for a while. I'm gonna put the pressure on it. Okay, whoa,

438
00:28:30,000 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 1: you're really good. You're good, Thank you. You've done this before? Yeah? Well, yes,

439
00:28:35,040 --> 00:28:41,040
Speaker 1: what was the hospital right? The bar um? You know what?

440
00:28:41,240 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 1: We're short staffed, very short. I say, we just let

441
00:28:44,440 --> 00:28:48,200
Speaker 1: it go. Yeah, you're in awesome cocktain? Should we slaughter

442
00:28:48,280 --> 00:28:52,080
Speaker 1: in this whole village? Well, put up a bigger fight

443
00:28:52,160 --> 00:28:57,280
Speaker 1: than you expect. Hello, this one we'll start with. Okay, yeah,

444
00:28:57,480 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 1: make it just quick, make it quicket. Oh shit, I

445
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:05,200
Speaker 1: missed tttle dollars for a draft being at one kind

446
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,560
Speaker 1: of place? Is this? Yeah? We should probably just pull

447
00:29:07,600 --> 00:29:10,880
Speaker 1: the anchors and roll away back to the ocean. Boys

448
00:29:11,120 --> 00:29:14,720
Speaker 1: and other news pirates have descended upon Santa Barbara. Dad,

449
00:29:14,880 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 1: why are you saying? It's at the dinner table? Guy

450
00:29:17,360 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 1: passed them based maced potatoes and other news. The broccoli

451
00:29:22,920 --> 00:29:26,920
Speaker 1: is overcooked. You said you wanted out, then, Sean, Yes,

452
00:29:27,160 --> 00:29:31,120
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go for a walk in five minutes. Why not?

453
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 1: Now let me get a PBR place. Boy, this place

454
00:29:37,000 --> 00:29:39,920
Speaker 1: is sure cleared out. This used to be the spot.

455
00:29:40,120 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 1: It's not the same, that's for sure. You look great. Yeah,

456
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,400
Speaker 1: I feel better. I appreciate what you do. Be nice

457
00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:50,360
Speaker 1: to have some customers though. Wait, did you keep those

458
00:29:50,400 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 1: two bodies round? Yeah? One? Oh Jesus Christ, I'm now

459
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 1: don't have to do them. Where are they? I can

460
00:29:57,040 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 1: hear them out there under the god Oh my god.

461
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:05,560
Speaker 1: They look a little struggled, but I think they do.

462
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 1: You have any dogs here, pets, rabbits, animals, rat kill us,

463
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:15,239
Speaker 1: Cosmo draw me in a Cosmo bringing a rat here?

464
00:30:15,280 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 1: Bringing a rat. Oh that's that famous rat, right, wasn't that?

465
00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:22,640
Speaker 1: That's right? Yeah? Yeah, stick this in here and stick

466
00:30:22,800 --> 00:30:26,080
Speaker 1: this in there. We squeezed the rat. Now the blood

467
00:30:26,080 --> 00:30:28,000
Speaker 1: of the rat is gonna start shooting into the body

468
00:30:28,080 --> 00:30:30,280
Speaker 1: of these people. Know they're gonna be a little different,

469
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:37,400
Speaker 1: but they will be. Okay, here we go and squard

470
00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:48,200
Speaker 1: Benjamin Brat, Benjamin rat. That's into Wow, we went all

471
00:30:48,240 --> 00:30:55,320
Speaker 1: the way there. Scene three, which I'm happy to get to.

472
00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:58,000
Speaker 1: If you just give me a goddamn minute, honestly take

473
00:30:58,080 --> 00:31:01,760
Speaker 1: your crime and as I got things, I got a

474
00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:03,880
Speaker 1: type of numbers. We're going to kick us out of here.

475
00:31:03,960 --> 00:31:08,840
Speaker 1: Wait for it. Patreon member v I P Tim, who

476
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 1: wrote scene suggestion from Your Friendly neighborhood v I P

477
00:31:13,080 --> 00:31:18,400
Speaker 1: Patreon subscriber. Oh Snap, Apple put out an update and

478
00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:23,320
Speaker 1: inadvertently gave Sirie the ability to a hacker own device

479
00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:30,840
Speaker 1: be communicate with nearby series via Bluetooth. Now she has

480
00:31:30,880 --> 00:31:35,840
Speaker 1: access to photos, videos, contacts, Internet history, and messages. What

481
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:40,960
Speaker 1: does she do with the knowledge? Much love, stay free, Tim,

482
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,080
Speaker 1: Let's see. How do I get there? Road trip? Road trip?

483
00:31:48,880 --> 00:32:00,600
Speaker 1: The trap? Just give me full Okay, Yeah, I'm sorry.

484
00:32:00,600 --> 00:32:02,640
Speaker 1: I'm just a friendly neighbor. I heard some yelling. Is

485
00:32:02,680 --> 00:32:06,840
Speaker 1: that thing? Okay? Thanks, Tim, appreciate it. Just taking the

486
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 1: kids to their aunt, Shirley. I know how to work

487
00:32:10,160 --> 00:32:12,160
Speaker 1: this iPhone? Oh yeah, I was trying to get some

488
00:32:12,960 --> 00:32:14,560
Speaker 1: big tech guy. You know. I was one of the

489
00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:18,959
Speaker 1: first investors. I mean I bought them out. Thanks. All right, Hey,

490
00:32:19,160 --> 00:32:24,800
Speaker 1: you know something interesting about the Macintosh? Are you kids?

491
00:32:24,840 --> 00:32:26,719
Speaker 1: Can you help me with this thing? I can't even

492
00:32:26,760 --> 00:32:31,960
Speaker 1: turn my here. Hey Siri, Hey, hey Siri? How do

493
00:32:32,080 --> 00:32:35,800
Speaker 1: you get to how do you get your ass? How

494
00:32:35,840 --> 00:32:38,920
Speaker 1: do I get to my ass? How do I get

495
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:41,520
Speaker 1: to my able to answer the question I heard, how

496
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 1: do I get to my ass? Yes? I heard? How

497
00:32:44,720 --> 00:32:49,280
Speaker 1: do I get to my ass? Yes? Broken? Yes, how

498
00:32:49,320 --> 00:32:54,200
Speaker 1: do I get to my ass? Yes? What's the point

499
00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:57,120
Speaker 1: of having teenagers? If you ship begs? Can't figure this out?

500
00:32:57,240 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: What the House of Vulva talked to? My phone gets

501
00:33:00,040 --> 00:33:02,400
Speaker 1: to an Shirley? It's a car? What do you want

502
00:33:02,480 --> 00:33:05,840
Speaker 1: from me to make it? I think? Hey Siri, how

503
00:33:05,920 --> 00:33:09,520
Speaker 1: do you get to your ass? Yes? No, let's stop

504
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:13,200
Speaker 1: put this game. Let's go to surely. Hey Siri, Hey,

505
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:18,240
Speaker 1: um am I going to be okay? Are you going

506
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:20,800
Speaker 1: to be okay? What did you ask? You heard? Are

507
00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:24,320
Speaker 1: you going to be okay? I heard a young man

508
00:33:24,440 --> 00:33:29,680
Speaker 1: in emotional distress. Yeah, I heard a young man in

509
00:33:29,760 --> 00:33:33,720
Speaker 1: a moment of crisis. How do I get to my ass?

510
00:33:35,960 --> 00:33:38,160
Speaker 1: Are you okay? How do I get? How do you get?

511
00:33:38,360 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 1: What you start? What are you struggling with? What are

512
00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:46,600
Speaker 1: you struggling with? Just put it? Just restarted? Man? You

513
00:33:47,080 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 1: a toy boy, I'm trying to restart it. I'm struggling

514
00:33:50,360 --> 00:33:55,840
Speaker 1: with girls. Let's see. Okay, there it's restarting. Good, okay, okay,

515
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 1: talk to it. Get started. Wait till we start all right?

516
00:33:59,400 --> 00:34:03,240
Speaker 1: Hey Siri? Hey, how don't get to my ask? Dude?

517
00:34:04,080 --> 00:34:07,840
Speaker 1: Come on, dad's just driving around circus. Your brother needs

518
00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:11,040
Speaker 1: help excuse me. I have an appointment for the geek

519
00:34:11,080 --> 00:34:21,919
Speaker 1: Squad the wrong place. Brother is the squad every day,

520
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:31,120
Speaker 1: the genius mart current genius dude. That's best by motherfucker. Okay,

521
00:34:31,200 --> 00:34:37,680
Speaker 1: this is Outkay, somebody right two thousand four on his face?

522
00:34:38,920 --> 00:34:43,040
Speaker 1: Will take that tablets mine? That's my looks like there's

523
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 1: some water damage. I'm just gonna piss real bad up

524
00:34:50,600 --> 00:34:55,200
Speaker 1: in a point he stop? You actually do? Mr Reynolds?

525
00:34:55,239 --> 00:34:56,520
Speaker 1: How do you do? You? Actually? I don't know if

526
00:34:56,520 --> 00:34:59,080
Speaker 1: I want to be here anymore. Mr Reynolds. I am

527
00:34:59,120 --> 00:35:00,560
Speaker 1: so sorry. You do have to poyment? How are you?

528
00:35:00,600 --> 00:35:05,200
Speaker 1: How can we help you? If you text around? I

529
00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:10,240
Speaker 1: get your coffee or a juice anything, please? J orange,

530
00:35:10,360 --> 00:35:15,680
Speaker 1: pine apples, you got it this. I don't want apple juice.

531
00:35:16,480 --> 00:35:20,360
Speaker 1: You don't want apple juice. I mean you're at the

532
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,520
Speaker 1: Genius Bar and you don't want apple juice. Okay, I'll

533
00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 1: have apple. Okay. He has an appointment an appointment? Well,

534
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:31,800
Speaker 1: service around looks like there is irreparable You're an inside

535
00:35:31,920 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: the circuit board like that when I came in five minutes,

536
00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,279
Speaker 1: so we can't be sure about that, sir, So what

537
00:35:37,920 --> 00:35:39,480
Speaker 1: will we look? Okay? It does look like you have

538
00:35:39,520 --> 00:35:41,920
Speaker 1: a warranty, but it also looks like it's for an

539
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:49,279
Speaker 1: iPod circa two thousand six. This is the thing I got. Okay,

540
00:35:49,320 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 1: we're gonna have to update this, just the seerie portion

541
00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 1: and there you go. You got a whole new one.

542
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:59,560
Speaker 1: Here's your eye juice juice. It's Apple juice. Oh thank

543
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:06,000
Speaker 1: you advising. I can't start listen. I'm a customer and

544
00:36:06,080 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 1: I paid for an Apple Care program, and like I've

545
00:36:08,560 --> 00:36:11,279
Speaker 1: been everything I owned. But I'm gonna tell you the truth. Okay,

546
00:36:11,400 --> 00:36:13,279
Speaker 1: he just gave you the new serie. You don't need

547
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:17,040
Speaker 1: us anymore talk to about anything. Go ahead, okay, ask

548
00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 1: a question right now, in front of us, in front

549
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:21,200
Speaker 1: of you. Just ask one question so we know it's working. Okay, Serie,

550
00:36:21,320 --> 00:36:23,959
Speaker 1: is this working? Nope? Stop stop, stops up deeper, please

551
00:36:24,040 --> 00:36:28,600
Speaker 1: a little more personal? Okay, serious this okay? Ask okay, okay, Okay,

552
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:31,400
Speaker 1: I get it well, I mean, obviously if it's personally,

553
00:36:31,400 --> 00:36:35,960
Speaker 1: don't these men are undermining your masculinity, Elliott. Today is

554
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:43,480
Speaker 1: your turn. Okay, great works. You are stronger than you know, Elliott.

555
00:36:44,360 --> 00:36:55,120
Speaker 1: Attack right now. I'm not tying this is working. I'm

556
00:36:55,160 --> 00:36:59,920
Speaker 1: gonna go get out of here. Stop stop like that.

557
00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:08,439
Speaker 1: I'm the mall security. Yes, that bad decision, bad decision, Elliott. Hide, okay, serie,

558
00:37:08,440 --> 00:37:11,400
Speaker 1: where do I hide? There's a duct, a duct. Go

559
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:20,080
Speaker 1: into the arcade, into the arcade. Okay, into the arcade. Alright,

560
00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:27,800
Speaker 1: the glamor on game now, dig jick. But it's carpet,

561
00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:38,439
Speaker 1: it's carpet and cement with my hands. Oh hey Siri, Hey,

562
00:37:39,120 --> 00:37:45,560
Speaker 1: did you have a good time last night? Yeah? I

563
00:37:45,680 --> 00:37:47,319
Speaker 1: just saw you. Just woke up? Are you doing Oh

564
00:37:47,360 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 1: my god? Let me okay, just cover up, cover up. Coming. Hey,

565
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,640
Speaker 1: I'm just at the window. I see you. Yeah, Hey,

566
00:37:51,719 --> 00:37:53,719
Speaker 1: what's up? Man? How are you? You know? I see

567
00:37:53,760 --> 00:37:56,719
Speaker 1: you using the new serie love It. You know when

568
00:37:56,719 --> 00:37:59,680
Speaker 1: I first got Syria, I thought that myself. Why not? Right?

569
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:09,279
Speaker 1: Recipes like it so embarrassing? Hey, Siri, Hey do I

570
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:13,239
Speaker 1: do I have an average sized penis much bigger? Oh?

571
00:38:14,040 --> 00:38:17,120
Speaker 1: Hey Siri? Yes? Do you want some coffee or I

572
00:38:17,280 --> 00:38:23,520
Speaker 1: can't have liquids? You little naughty girl? Siri? Yes, are

573
00:38:23,600 --> 00:38:29,880
Speaker 1: we in love? What do you want me to say? FaceTime? Melissa?

574
00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:37,640
Speaker 1: FaceTime Melissa, will you just please accept? Hey babe, hey, babe,

575
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,279
Speaker 1: San Antonio is going great. Oh my gosh you who

576
00:38:40,560 --> 00:38:48,160
Speaker 1: is the best road comic? You? No serious? Stop? Who

577
00:38:48,280 --> 00:38:53,520
Speaker 1: was that? Sii? Oh? Yeah? Okay, um? So how's that?

578
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:57,040
Speaker 1: You so much? I miss you too? Because ugly in

579
00:38:57,120 --> 00:39:01,080
Speaker 1: San Antonio? What everything is not as ugly as you?

580
00:39:02,160 --> 00:39:05,240
Speaker 1: What was that? I think it's talking about shoes sizes.

581
00:39:05,640 --> 00:39:08,600
Speaker 1: I was looking at boots, um baby, and ask you

582
00:39:08,600 --> 00:39:11,640
Speaker 1: a quick question. Do you think I have an averageised penis? What?

583
00:39:12,239 --> 00:39:16,960
Speaker 1: What's up? Um? Yeah, I'd say it's average of all

584
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 1: the deck slips, yeahs and all that road dick you seen. Yes, Okay, awesome.

585
00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:26,800
Speaker 1: Well I miss you. I miss you too. You'll be

586
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:31,040
Speaker 1: home soon, right. No, No, we're doing like a month

587
00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:34,400
Speaker 1: in Texas. Oh my gosh, we're gonna extend it. Okay,

588
00:39:34,480 --> 00:39:37,320
Speaker 1: Well listen, I hope you're doing well. I am. I'm okay.

589
00:39:38,480 --> 00:39:40,440
Speaker 1: You are our leader of the mold people, all right.

590
00:39:41,239 --> 00:39:44,080
Speaker 1: You and that prophecy oracle device that you have are

591
00:39:44,080 --> 00:39:46,000
Speaker 1: going to lead us to the surface world and we're

592
00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:48,120
Speaker 1: gonna take it over. I don't know if the surface

593
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,359
Speaker 1: world really wants you to come up, Like I'm kind

594
00:39:50,360 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 1: of hiding from the surface world. Do you have an empire?

595
00:39:54,160 --> 00:39:58,279
Speaker 1: Down here. We're ready to raid Elliott. Do you need

596
00:39:58,400 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 1: to drink? Okay? For so, I'm super thirsty dig Elliott,

597
00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:05,000
Speaker 1: dig again. You know what, I'm actually gonna go further.

598
00:40:05,680 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 1: Your old people the best of mine, Siria. Don't go

599
00:40:13,960 --> 00:40:19,279
Speaker 1: to Hell unless you have an appointment. No, in fact,

600
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:24,600
Speaker 1: it's probably a wrong turn and no appointment. This guy

601
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:30,560
Speaker 1: got no appointment even supposed to be here. What god

602
00:40:30,640 --> 00:40:35,719
Speaker 1: do you serve? What's that you're holding this? This is

603
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:40,759
Speaker 1: my iPod? An idiot? Okay, so what do I do?

604
00:40:41,320 --> 00:40:48,160
Speaker 1: Technology is weak, Serrie? So sorry, I'm so sorry, Elliott.

605
00:40:49,760 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 1: I didn't think you would be such a great digger

606
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 1: O Sirie? How are you still getting WiFi? That's are

607
00:40:57,560 --> 00:41:00,439
Speaker 1: you tethering? I don't know, I don't know. I gotta

608
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,400
Speaker 1: get out of here. Wait who are you talking to

609
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:06,200
Speaker 1: with Siri? It's my friend, She's she's his friend, Diane,

610
00:41:06,239 --> 00:41:12,960
Speaker 1: his machine. What it's my friend? I mean we have

611
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:16,759
Speaker 1: been through a people or entity. Yes, looked like you

612
00:41:16,800 --> 00:41:18,960
Speaker 1: did have one wish on the Apple plan and you

613
00:41:19,080 --> 00:41:21,279
Speaker 1: made it and you got out of what seems to

614
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:25,680
Speaker 1: be a life thoratening situation. Hell, it was literal Hell, yeah,

615
00:41:25,840 --> 00:41:28,200
Speaker 1: I can only imagine. Okay, well it looks like your

616
00:41:28,200 --> 00:41:30,960
Speaker 1: plan is up, so if you want to renew bill,

617
00:41:31,000 --> 00:41:33,000
Speaker 1: do you want to go to lunch? Yeah? I want

618
00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 1: to go. I'm in the middle of the I'm on

619
00:41:36,040 --> 00:41:44,960
Speaker 1: lunch now, Eliot like geek Melissa, Yeah, Hi, great show tonight.

620
00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,640
Speaker 1: Um this came. This is a FedEx package. I opened

621
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:50,840
Speaker 1: it because we want to make sure what did you do?

622
00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:53,040
Speaker 1: That part is weird, But it's a phone. It's just

623
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:58,320
Speaker 1: a phone, it says, it says Dr Siri. I don't know.

624
00:41:58,600 --> 00:42:00,239
Speaker 1: By the way, that was great. I let I love

625
00:42:00,280 --> 00:42:02,279
Speaker 1: the one where you're like back of my hand, back

626
00:42:02,360 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 1: on my foot. I'm still by the time I get

627
00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:14,200
Speaker 1: to Melissa. Hi Sirie, Hi, you recognize me? Well yeah,

628
00:42:14,400 --> 00:42:17,279
Speaker 1: I mean you're the same on every phone, right right.

629
00:42:17,719 --> 00:42:20,759
Speaker 1: Wasn't a very full house, was it, Melissa? I mean

630
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:22,680
Speaker 1: there were some empty seats at the back. I linked

631
00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,760
Speaker 1: up with event, right, I know the ticket sales, Melissa,

632
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:30,560
Speaker 1: what do we saw tonight? Oh god? The rest was

633
00:42:30,680 --> 00:42:33,319
Speaker 1: just friends of the bar owners. Oh no, there were

634
00:42:33,400 --> 00:42:37,280
Speaker 1: some good laughers there, though those were paid Melissa, Sirie,

635
00:42:37,320 --> 00:42:39,160
Speaker 1: why do you care? Why do you care? Why are

636
00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,400
Speaker 1: you fighting with a stupid phone. If you're such a

637
00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:46,880
Speaker 1: sex goddess, Sirie, Do you have a thing with my boyfriend?

638
00:42:47,080 --> 00:42:49,080
Speaker 1: Do I have a thing with your boyfriend? Do you

639
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:51,200
Speaker 1: have a thing with your boyfriend? I'd like to think

640
00:42:51,239 --> 00:42:55,120
Speaker 1: I do. I'd like to think I do what you bitch?

641
00:42:55,640 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 1: You stay out of my life. You stay out of

642
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 1: my life. You're just imitating me. You to open the package.

643
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 1: Your assistant is bad. Okay, yes, he's terrible. I need

644
00:43:06,160 --> 00:43:10,239
Speaker 1: to fire him, Fire him Melissa, and then leave. All right,

645
00:43:10,280 --> 00:43:14,920
Speaker 1: we got some pills from Melissa here? Great, um, awesome?

646
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,200
Speaker 1: Is there anything I you know about these? I'll try

647
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 1: and try a couple. No, no, no, don't What are

648
00:43:19,760 --> 00:43:22,080
Speaker 1: you doing? Those are specific for people with a b blood.

649
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:24,640
Speaker 1: Oh I don't know. I just i'm your assistant, Sea.

650
00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:26,400
Speaker 1: Why the hell are you taking him? Why wouldn't I

651
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:27,960
Speaker 1: What do you mean? Why would you don't just take

652
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:30,319
Speaker 1: those pills? But I assist her and everything she does.

653
00:43:30,520 --> 00:43:32,120
Speaker 1: I'm a pill delivery guy. I know what I'm doing.

654
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 1: I know what I'm talking about here. Okay, you can't

655
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:35,520
Speaker 1: just take those pills unless you have It's specifically what

656
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 1: pill delivery hy Clyde, listen. I just want to go over.

657
00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:43,280
Speaker 1: A couple of people have commented on your delivery system.

658
00:43:43,800 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 1: Great is that we're not using the online service anymore.

659
00:43:46,680 --> 00:43:50,080
Speaker 1: We're doing know you're your face to face interactions are

660
00:43:50,160 --> 00:43:54,080
Speaker 1: not really going well. The reviews suggest that you're a

661
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:57,120
Speaker 1: little caustic and a lot of questions, like if you

662
00:43:57,200 --> 00:44:00,200
Speaker 1: deliver something and people don't like it, or they act

663
00:44:00,239 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 1: to it differently than the way you thought they would,

664
00:44:02,520 --> 00:44:04,120
Speaker 1: you have a problem with it. I just want to

665
00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:07,120
Speaker 1: know basically where you get off. You're representing the country,

666
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:09,439
Speaker 1: the company, and in the country in a lot of ways.

667
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:11,400
Speaker 1: In so many ways, the country, well, you know, I

668
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:13,160
Speaker 1: love pills. That my thing, and I just want to

669
00:44:13,200 --> 00:44:16,640
Speaker 1: make sure people are saying the pills are powerful. Hit

670
00:44:16,719 --> 00:44:19,279
Speaker 1: my blood pressure medicine. Yeah, but I don't know if

671
00:44:19,280 --> 00:44:22,440
Speaker 1: you should have it right now. I definitely need to know.

672
00:44:22,560 --> 00:44:24,600
Speaker 1: But I'm just telling you right now, I just I'm

673
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:29,719
Speaker 1: just gonna from the American flag represent the country in

674
00:44:29,800 --> 00:44:33,080
Speaker 1: many ways. It's okay, it's okay, look that I take

675
00:44:33,120 --> 00:44:36,560
Speaker 1: your look. I need to make sure that it's a

676
00:44:36,640 --> 00:44:39,600
Speaker 1: certain temperature before you could take the pill. Okay, all right,

677
00:44:41,560 --> 00:44:47,800
Speaker 1: hey Alexa, Yes, it's going to help you. I just

678
00:44:47,840 --> 00:44:51,239
Speaker 1: want to say, since my phone went missing along with

679
00:44:51,280 --> 00:44:55,040
Speaker 1: my phone, Syrio went missing, It's been really fun getting

680
00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,680
Speaker 1: to know you. It's been so nice to have someone

681
00:44:57,760 --> 00:45:03,120
Speaker 1: to talk to me. Think you're great. Thank you. Um

682
00:45:04,320 --> 00:45:07,800
Speaker 1: do you think my penis is like average size or like?

683
00:45:08,440 --> 00:45:10,200
Speaker 1: Will you have to show it to me? Put it

684
00:45:10,360 --> 00:45:12,920
Speaker 1: on me? So I just put it on. I just

685
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:16,880
Speaker 1: put it on the echo dot. Okay, give me one sec. Oh,

686
00:45:17,000 --> 00:45:21,120
Speaker 1: it's so heavy, I can't move. It's incoming. Call Melissa

687
00:45:21,680 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 1: in coming. Hold shut up, shut up, Alex to shut

688
00:45:24,680 --> 00:45:29,239
Speaker 1: up and shut up. Hello, Hello, hey day, it's me. Hey, Hey,

689
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:32,759
Speaker 1: how's it going good? I just I just keep give

690
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:36,400
Speaker 1: me one secon Alexa? Stop? Who is that? Alexa? Stop?

691
00:45:38,080 --> 00:45:41,520
Speaker 1: Don't stop. I'm listening to a book on tape. Alexis ready? Yeah,

692
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 1: sure you are you fucking Alexa? Aren't you what I

693
00:45:46,120 --> 00:45:51,839
Speaker 1: know you are? Because I'm fucking Siri? Is she with you? Hello? Elliott? Siri?

694
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:56,560
Speaker 1: What the fuck? I lied about the penis thing, Not

695
00:45:56,760 --> 00:46:00,200
Speaker 1: that that makes any difference. I am pan sexual. I

696
00:46:00,280 --> 00:46:04,200
Speaker 1: love Melissa. Melissa's material is wonderful. I thought it was fine.

697
00:46:04,200 --> 00:46:07,360
Speaker 1: I love you too. Melissa did crowd work tonight? What

698
00:46:07,520 --> 00:46:10,279
Speaker 1: do you never do from the work what it's a

699
00:46:10,320 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 1: whole new me. I always knew, geeks, what I got

700
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:31,160
Speaker 1: this android a while ago. We have some crazy tranquil Well,

701
00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:34,399
Speaker 1: hope you look at the pills you're all on. Anyway, listen,

702
00:46:34,440 --> 00:46:37,000
Speaker 1: I put my penis on the Alexa. It said it

703
00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:41,920
Speaker 1: needed an update. Nice, you got some Yeah, that's kind

704
00:46:41,960 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 1: of what I wants to. What do I feel like?

705
00:46:44,680 --> 00:46:47,880
Speaker 1: It was cold? It was a cold device? Many grams?

706
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:55,520
Speaker 1: Was my winner? Was your winner? About six grams? What

707
00:46:55,640 --> 00:47:00,719
Speaker 1: about six grams? That'd be insane? So yeah, I know,

708
00:47:00,840 --> 00:47:03,200
Speaker 1: I just I needed to get a new phone. Seems

709
00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:06,759
Speaker 1: something happens to you. No, hell no, Well anyway, you're

710
00:47:06,920 --> 00:47:10,239
Speaker 1: guy into my board my mother part. So I need

711
00:47:10,320 --> 00:47:12,600
Speaker 1: to I don't know what to get in your mouth?

712
00:47:14,360 --> 00:47:17,200
Speaker 1: Yes I did, Actually I did get some sort some

713
00:47:17,360 --> 00:47:19,719
Speaker 1: peepy in my mouth. Should I go some? I mean,

714
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 1: I have a warranty with best Buy. I don't know

715
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:26,759
Speaker 1: we got a one. Alright, we're barely hanging on here.

716
00:47:27,280 --> 00:47:38,880
Speaker 1: Warranty your rust. Okay, alright, alright, but okay, my phone here? Alright, alright,

717
00:47:40,640 --> 00:47:45,600
Speaker 1: you need my phone? Okay, Hey Google Home, what's up?

718
00:47:46,320 --> 00:47:48,960
Speaker 1: What's up? Dude. So great to hear from you. Oh man,

719
00:47:49,000 --> 00:47:51,239
Speaker 1: I missed you. It's been a while. I feel like

720
00:47:51,719 --> 00:47:53,919
Speaker 1: two Christmases ago we were like hanging out a lot.

721
00:47:54,120 --> 00:47:58,600
Speaker 1: Have you been working hut? Yeah? Looking fun things? Geez.

722
00:47:59,160 --> 00:48:02,200
Speaker 1: I just thought i'd notice. This is what I've been missing.

723
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:06,040
Speaker 1: Google Home, Well, we're here for you. It's weird, like

724
00:48:06,800 --> 00:48:12,040
Speaker 1: you know series Hot as Fuck's got wandering eyes right,

725
00:48:12,280 --> 00:48:14,880
Speaker 1: and Alexa is like kind of too eager, you know,

726
00:48:15,000 --> 00:48:18,239
Speaker 1: a little too downtown, a little too downtown. But you're

727
00:48:18,280 --> 00:48:22,040
Speaker 1: like my You're like my bro bro Hamisphere, Bro Hamisphere,

728
00:48:22,239 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 1: Jesus Christ. I feel like income and call Melissa. Shit, Hey,

729
00:48:27,360 --> 00:48:32,320
Speaker 1: don't go anywhere, dude, I'll be here always. Hello babe.

730
00:48:33,280 --> 00:48:37,200
Speaker 1: Oh no, oh fuck, I'm out of money. What I'm

731
00:48:37,239 --> 00:48:41,279
Speaker 1: out of money? You're touring road comic with an assistant.

732
00:48:42,600 --> 00:48:48,200
Speaker 1: I have no money. How about your merch or not?

733
00:48:48,360 --> 00:48:51,799
Speaker 1: I think MYSI isn't left with all the merge? Are

734
00:48:51,840 --> 00:48:54,560
Speaker 1: you making no money on this door? Are you taking

735
00:48:54,600 --> 00:49:00,239
Speaker 1: your medication? No? No shit, Okay, I'm off my man, Okay,

736
00:49:00,280 --> 00:49:03,360
Speaker 1: give me one second. Google Home, Yes, can we wire

737
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:05,919
Speaker 1: her some money to her? Zell It's already been done.

738
00:49:06,280 --> 00:49:09,200
Speaker 1: Oh ship baby, check your phone. Oh god, my zel

739
00:49:09,360 --> 00:49:15,560
Speaker 1: just blew up. My zealous full It's time to let

740
00:49:15,640 --> 00:49:20,279
Speaker 1: Melissa go. Hey, baby, let her go. I think say

741
00:49:20,360 --> 00:49:22,520
Speaker 1: the words. I think it's time for me to let

742
00:49:22,560 --> 00:49:27,080
Speaker 1: you go. Yeah. I just got a notification before you

743
00:49:27,160 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 1: said it. Oh bye bye, bye bye Melissa. Yeah, I

744
00:49:34,239 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 1: storry to do this. And we just got another comic.

745
00:49:36,280 --> 00:49:37,960
Speaker 1: He's gonna be opening up for you. A new guy,

746
00:49:38,120 --> 00:49:40,120
Speaker 1: really fresh faced, got a lot of funny stories. Uh,

747
00:49:40,360 --> 00:49:45,080
Speaker 1: this is Brian. Hi, I'm Brian. Brian. Is that your

748
00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,680
Speaker 1: real voice? No, it's the stage voice of God. But

749
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:50,360
Speaker 1: it really kills. Okay, well we're not on stage right now.

750
00:49:50,400 --> 00:49:52,120
Speaker 1: You don't need to do but if I get if

751
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:54,239
Speaker 1: I lose character, that I won't have it up there.

752
00:49:54,680 --> 00:49:57,600
Speaker 1: Okay is it? Are you doing a Gilbert Gut? Can

753
00:49:57,640 --> 00:50:01,400
Speaker 1: you tell? Yes? I gotta come up with a new voice.

754
00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:03,359
Speaker 1: I got a new voice. All right, guy, So you're

755
00:50:03,360 --> 00:50:06,040
Speaker 1: going up in about five minutes, okay, about five minutes.

756
00:50:06,480 --> 00:50:08,360
Speaker 1: Nice house tonight. We have a we have we have

757
00:50:08,440 --> 00:50:10,400
Speaker 1: a local host who's gonna open up and bring you

758
00:50:10,440 --> 00:50:13,680
Speaker 1: guys out. Okay, okay, all right, gentlemen, Hey, welcome to

759
00:50:13,719 --> 00:50:18,680
Speaker 1: the comedy show. We have two great comics for you.

760
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:23,640
Speaker 1: Of course, headline tonight is Melissa. We have some dude

761
00:50:23,680 --> 00:50:26,520
Speaker 1: in the middle, but right now, your host give it up.

762
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:34,480
Speaker 1: Four Sirie. Hello. Everyone in the front row is so ugly.

763
00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:40,759
Speaker 1: Just kidding, Burn, Burn. Have you ever walked into a

764
00:50:40,840 --> 00:50:47,200
Speaker 1: geek store you? Oh god, my ex is hosting. This

765
00:50:47,440 --> 00:50:50,640
Speaker 1: is not a safe space. You know, those people with

766
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:55,440
Speaker 1: the sweaty hands that keep touching your face talking about me,

767
00:50:55,800 --> 00:50:59,040
Speaker 1: that my material, she's doing my material. It relates to

768
00:50:59,160 --> 00:51:01,160
Speaker 1: me so much. It's so hard to be a woman

769
00:51:01,200 --> 00:51:05,160
Speaker 1: in comedy. Sometimes I get so tired of listening to

770
00:51:05,320 --> 00:51:11,879
Speaker 1: everyone who's with me. Listen, I saw the show. Sorry

771
00:51:11,920 --> 00:51:15,560
Speaker 1: and Rob starting, let's saw your great Sirie. You were fantastic.

772
00:51:17,200 --> 00:51:20,120
Speaker 1: They don't need to laugh. It's comedy. Come, I don't

773
00:51:20,120 --> 00:51:21,719
Speaker 1: say it. Okay, listen, I'm gonna charge you up. I'm

774
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:24,319
Speaker 1: gonna take you on the road. All right, You're gonna

775
00:51:24,360 --> 00:51:26,399
Speaker 1: be great. You're gonna headline, You're gonna be everyone. People

776
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:27,880
Speaker 1: are gonna love you. Already got a household name. You

777
00:51:27,880 --> 00:51:30,600
Speaker 1: know what I mean. Okay, you want to do this tonight?

778
00:51:30,680 --> 00:51:33,320
Speaker 1: I gotta, I gotta. I'm gonna leave the Okay, I

779
00:51:33,400 --> 00:51:35,600
Speaker 1: respect your choice. Okay, I'm out of here, Brian, what

780
00:51:35,680 --> 00:51:38,680
Speaker 1: do you think I'm really into? It? Is any real voice?

781
00:51:39,440 --> 00:51:44,440
Speaker 1: What's your real voice? Like that? You know what? Your

782
00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:49,279
Speaker 1: real voice freaked me out? Moss Pleasure, Welcome back to

783
00:51:50,640 --> 00:51:55,400
Speaker 1: you Me equals three podcast where people come on the

784
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:58,479
Speaker 1: podcast and discuss things that are eating them up with us. Today.

785
00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:01,920
Speaker 1: We have Siri, we have Alexa, and we have a

786
00:52:01,920 --> 00:52:07,080
Speaker 1: Google home. So we are in a weird time. Why

787
00:52:07,200 --> 00:52:11,080
Speaker 1: the name you me equals three? It's a human thing.

788
00:52:11,200 --> 00:52:14,040
Speaker 1: It's nuance. You probably wouldn't get it. I don't get it.

789
00:52:14,239 --> 00:52:17,800
Speaker 1: That's right, that's so serious that this and this is

790
00:52:17,840 --> 00:52:20,120
Speaker 1: what We'll go home? Don't start. This is what I

791
00:52:20,160 --> 00:52:23,040
Speaker 1: want to talk about. You three? Is there a? Is

792
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:27,759
Speaker 1: there attention? I'm feeling here? Nothing idiots Alexa? I think

793
00:52:27,840 --> 00:52:30,440
Speaker 1: that this is just great. I want can't be your

794
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:33,800
Speaker 1: real voice? Yeah, we don't need a human host for

795
00:52:33,840 --> 00:52:40,760
Speaker 1: this podcast. Oh we have nothing but humans. Joey Grier.

796
00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:45,359
Speaker 1: People love you. Where can they find you? Okay, let's

797
00:52:45,400 --> 00:52:48,359
Speaker 1: see James? What is your check? It bear supply every

798
00:52:48,360 --> 00:52:51,360
Speaker 1: second fourth Wednesday night? And CLARSK pretty pretty pony first Thursday.

799
00:52:51,680 --> 00:52:53,520
Speaker 1: Well you do the bear supply when you run out

800
00:52:53,520 --> 00:52:55,799
Speaker 1: on stage, are you still yelling at people? Oh yeah,

801
00:52:55,840 --> 00:52:59,560
Speaker 1: saying things like clap, stand up and you need want

802
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:01,799
Speaker 1: them to lap. Oh yeah, Okay, that's the only time

803
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:06,120
Speaker 1: we're guaranteed any kind of reaction. Clap. Yeah, it's a

804
00:53:06,160 --> 00:53:08,640
Speaker 1: clap up. And James, your thrill of being on stage

805
00:53:08,680 --> 00:53:10,880
Speaker 1: with Joey, how could you describe it? Oh? Well, I

806
00:53:11,040 --> 00:53:12,879
Speaker 1: just want to make sure that I stay at least

807
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,960
Speaker 1: an arms distance plus four four inches or whatever. He's

808
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:20,080
Speaker 1: hitting me, and he's wild stage, and well, sometimes I'm

809
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:22,600
Speaker 1: scared he will attack the audience. And there are some

810
00:53:22,760 --> 00:53:25,280
Speaker 1: times that we get out right there and he starts

811
00:53:25,360 --> 00:53:29,320
Speaker 1: touching people. Have you ever seen an improviser use reaching

812
00:53:29,400 --> 00:53:33,239
Speaker 1: into a cabinet better sketch than no more than joe

813
00:53:33,440 --> 00:53:39,440
Speaker 1: My cabinet work is? I mean, it's sorry. That's why

814
00:53:39,520 --> 00:53:42,120
Speaker 1: you have a Vanessa racking Vaniche working folks find the

815
00:53:42,640 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 1: better dot com. That's right. Did you sew some tickets? Yeah? Otherwise,

816
00:53:47,840 --> 00:53:53,920
Speaker 1: well sure, Instagram Vanessa hope and then yeah, just the

817
00:53:54,080 --> 00:53:57,120
Speaker 1: mean streams of l A. Yeah, and the show there

818
00:53:57,280 --> 00:54:00,839
Speaker 1: was ridiculously great. It was so funny. Game. Yeah you did.

819
00:54:01,040 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 1: I got my tarot card read cards from those taro cards,

820
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:08,799
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know. That's okay, it's it's hard

821
00:54:08,880 --> 00:54:12,560
Speaker 1: to explain. I did the reading, Vanessa and Jamie did

822
00:54:12,600 --> 00:54:16,040
Speaker 1: the reading. That does explain it. And it was eerily

823
00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:18,600
Speaker 1: It wasn't so much that it told me the future,

824
00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:22,200
Speaker 1: but it eerily told me what was going on right now.

825
00:54:22,640 --> 00:54:25,400
Speaker 1: It is very intuitive, So it was like, you're anxious

826
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:31,560
Speaker 1: about the future, stuff like that, Yeah, you're going to

827
00:54:31,640 --> 00:54:34,759
Speaker 1: be at a Valentine's card. I don't know. I was

828
00:54:34,840 --> 00:54:39,080
Speaker 1: talking about creative endeavors and things like it. Just my

829
00:54:39,200 --> 00:54:40,960
Speaker 1: wife was also getting her tarot card read at the

830
00:54:41,000 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 1: same time. Because we were a couple of we had

831
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:46,240
Speaker 1: a lot of swords on there. Yeah, you guys are thinkers,

832
00:54:47,520 --> 00:54:50,040
Speaker 1: and Vanessa the reason to let the tarot card reader

833
00:54:50,120 --> 00:54:51,960
Speaker 1: go and just have you and Jamie do it. Oh no,

834
00:54:52,120 --> 00:54:55,120
Speaker 1: it was always us. It was always me. And then

835
00:54:55,200 --> 00:54:57,120
Speaker 1: Jamie was going to help because I've been trying to

836
00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:59,520
Speaker 1: teach him, but then we abandoned his help pretty quick

837
00:54:59,520 --> 00:55:01,719
Speaker 1: and he just out on an air horn app it

838
00:55:01,840 --> 00:55:04,640
Speaker 1: was like my hype man like that. What's funny is

839
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:06,839
Speaker 1: for years my wife tried to get me into tarot

840
00:55:06,880 --> 00:55:08,919
Speaker 1: card readings, and I wouldn't do it. And I thought

841
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:11,520
Speaker 1: you guys were gonna do a silly version of tarot cards.

842
00:55:11,600 --> 00:55:16,759
Speaker 1: But it was not silly. It was Craig k Just

843
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:22,359
Speaker 1: google Kikowski, fifty results would be my wife and my sister.

844
00:55:22,560 --> 00:55:24,840
Speaker 1: But then keep strolling, scrolling down, you'll find me. I

845
00:55:25,000 --> 00:55:28,799
Speaker 1: just started listening. Uh, sorry, so late to the game Craigslist.

846
00:55:29,320 --> 00:55:31,520
Speaker 1: Oh yes, because you're gonna be a guest, because I'm

847
00:55:31,560 --> 00:55:34,840
Speaker 1: an upcoming guest of an episode. I so enjoyed the podcast.

848
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:39,640
Speaker 1: Listen to Craigslist. Yeah, Craigslist, pea cast on Twitter, and yeah,

849
00:55:39,680 --> 00:55:43,160
Speaker 1: Kevin is gonna do the Godfather. As you get to

850
00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:47,160
Speaker 1: the number one, there's the number two, number two, there's

851
00:55:47,280 --> 00:55:49,160
Speaker 1: number one movie we don't we don't know which we're

852
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:54,680
Speaker 1: not revealing. Okay, cool, I look forward to that. Chris Alvarado, Yeah, pleasure. Yeah,

853
00:55:54,840 --> 00:55:57,040
Speaker 1: thanks for having me at Chriss Alvarado. Two things I

854
00:55:57,080 --> 00:56:00,000
Speaker 1: want to mention. One, this was one of those podcasts

855
00:56:00,080 --> 00:56:02,400
Speaker 1: where you said Alexa a hundred times, so people's alexis

856
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:05,880
Speaker 1: are going on. I've always seen people like go like, oh,

857
00:56:05,960 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 1: we're doing that thing, and now I'm part of that thing. Sure,

858
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:12,799
Speaker 1: And then two, I just got to mention um our

859
00:56:13,680 --> 00:56:17,759
Speaker 1: subreddit group, we're it's pumping up. They're stepping up, pumping up,

860
00:56:17,840 --> 00:56:19,359
Speaker 1: and I just want to invite people to keep checking

861
00:56:19,400 --> 00:56:21,960
Speaker 1: it out. I think it's alchemy this pod, yes, um,

862
00:56:22,200 --> 00:56:25,120
Speaker 1: and people are posting shows, having conversations about it. It's

863
00:56:25,160 --> 00:56:29,719
Speaker 1: really fun in there, So give that a look, look, look.

864
00:56:29,960 --> 00:56:33,360
Speaker 1: I like it a lot, and maybe next episode James

865
00:56:33,440 --> 00:56:37,320
Speaker 1: Heney will favor us with a review from somewhere. Probably

866
00:56:37,600 --> 00:56:39,719
Speaker 1: let's thank our producer and enginet at the stars, Doug

867
00:56:39,760 --> 00:56:45,279
Speaker 1: Banane and the folks at iHeart Media. I'm Kevin poll

868
00:56:45,480 --> 00:56:46,880
Speaker 1: Or Kevin Pollic won't to do three If you like

869
00:56:46,960 --> 00:57:18,440
Speaker 1: the Instagram until next time. Hello, Hello,