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Speaker 1: Hello everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Wide

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Speaker 1: Open with Ashland Harris. Today, I can't wait to introduce

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Speaker 1: our guest, Marion Jones. Welcome to the podcast. You uh,

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Speaker 1: one of my favorite humans. We caught up maybe what

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Speaker 1: was it two weeks ago, had such a great conversation

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Speaker 1: and we both went to the University of North Carolina.

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Speaker 1: You played hoops, yeah, and have have always been an

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Speaker 1: incredible track star. And now you're out, You're back on

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Speaker 1: the grind. You were on Special Forces.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, thank you, Ashland. It has it has been an

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Speaker 2: incredible ride. To say it lightly, but it's always a

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Speaker 2: pleasure when I get an opportunity to to share and

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Speaker 2: talk with folks whom one like we have a a

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Speaker 2: special bond and that we made a decision to attend

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Speaker 2: the best university in the land. So that there's that,

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Speaker 2: so you know, we're very very smart individuals. But in

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Speaker 2: addition to that, Ashlynd like getting a chance to share

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Speaker 2: what I who I am with somebody whom I respect

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Speaker 2: at another level makes it even more enjoyable, and it

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Speaker 2: also makes the journey, which we know like can be

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Speaker 2: a challenging one when there are hiccups along the road.

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Speaker 2: And to be able to communicate with somebody who understands

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Speaker 2: that and can help, like the world sip through it

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Speaker 2: all makes it even better. So I'm just excited to

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Speaker 2: hop into all things.

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Speaker 3: Oh thank you, thank you for that.

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Speaker 1: And what I'll say is, you know, I Marion co

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Speaker 1: hosts a podcast called Second Wind, and I was lucky

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Speaker 1: enough to be on it and kind of kind of

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Speaker 1: share a little bit of my story and a lot

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Speaker 1: of it was centered around me. But what I love

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Speaker 1: so much about you is your bravery to stand in

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Speaker 1: the pain and talk about it and share your scars

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Speaker 1: and you know, come forward with your truth in a

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Speaker 1: lot of different ways and a lot of aspect like

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Speaker 1: that's there's so much courage.

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Speaker 3: And bravery in it. And you know, anyone who.

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Speaker 1: Knows your story, knows what you've had to walk through.

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Speaker 1: That's like a huge testament to your character. And I'm

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Speaker 1: grateful for you to do that because it is not easy,

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Speaker 1: and it is not easy by any means. And now

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Speaker 1: to come out and stand in your truth and come

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Speaker 1: out as being a queer woman, I just think there's

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Speaker 1: so much beauty in showing the world that no matter

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Speaker 1: what age you are, we get second chances at life,

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Speaker 1: and it's it's our job to take them and be

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Speaker 1: resilient and show up up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, no, no doubt. Like it's almost I almost find

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Speaker 2: that it's a we all. We have a certain sense

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Speaker 2: of responsibility when we have, in essence, been given the

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Speaker 2: baton no pun intended.

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Speaker 4: Or or the torch in regards.

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Speaker 2: To like someone some being felt that we would be

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Speaker 2: in a position when we are in on this planet

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Speaker 2: to have.

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Speaker 4: A big voice, to have a big.

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Speaker 2: Presence, right, So I find that it's almost our responsibility

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Speaker 2: to once things happen in our life, good, bad and

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Speaker 2: everything in between, that you don't disappear that you stand

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Speaker 2: in it, even sometimes if it's funky, you standing in

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Speaker 2: your shit, right, And for for folks like myself and

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Speaker 2: you and others, for us to just like say, you

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Speaker 2: know what, I'm just gonna just be in my little

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Speaker 2: world here, right, and I'm not gonna share my experiences

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Speaker 2: and the good and the bad with anybody else because one,

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Speaker 2: maybe it's too painful, Maybe I don't want to be embarrassed.

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Speaker 4: Maybe it's it's going to be costly, right, Like it's

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Speaker 4: gonna be a financial hit to me.

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Speaker 2: That's all A bunch of like crap. But I've also

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Speaker 2: Ashland had to grow into it, right, Like I would

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Speaker 2: tell you, yeah, at twenty one years old when the

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Speaker 2: shit was hitting the fan, right, like, I was not

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Speaker 2: in this space. Ho no to not to share all

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Speaker 2: my stuff, like we can get into some of the

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Speaker 2: nitty gritty ashen but like when I was released from

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Speaker 2: federal prison, right and like really unsure of what the

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Speaker 2: future held.

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Speaker 4: I knew that.

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Speaker 2: I had a passion for sport, Like, you know, I

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Speaker 2: wanted to be competitive somehow. I was still fairly young,

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Speaker 2: but what would that look like in the world of sport?

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Speaker 2: So you know, I wanted to try my hand in basketball,

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Speaker 2: and I did that and I made a WABA team, the.

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Speaker 4: Oldest rookie ever to do that.

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Speaker 2: That kind of fizzled out for a little bit and

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Speaker 2: then I'm like, well, well, who else are you marrying?

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Speaker 4: Because for so much of our lives, and I include union, yes,

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Speaker 4: our sport was who we are? Who are you married?

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Speaker 1: Oh?

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Speaker 4: I'm an athlete? Who are you Ashley?

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Speaker 3: Oh you're a rock soccer soccer player?

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Speaker 4: And beyond that, like I was just like like.

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Speaker 3: Who the who am I? Yeah? Who are we? How

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Speaker 3: do we show up, how do we move in the world?

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Speaker 4: Sport? And it bled into everything, It bled into relationships,

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Speaker 4: it bled into like and so I I'm actually so grateful.

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Speaker 2: And I know I'm just kind of going all over

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Speaker 2: the place here, but I'm just I'm grateful for the

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Speaker 2: times that I was forced to spend with my shit,

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Speaker 2: with myself. And that happened to be incarceration, right, forty

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Speaker 2: nine days in solitary confinement, whereby I had to say,

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Speaker 2: all right, like pump the brakes, Marian, you are so

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Speaker 2: much more than what the world thinks you are, Okay?

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Speaker 2: Was I blessed Ashland to be able to run from

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Speaker 2: here to there very fast?

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Speaker 3: Was I blessed woman on the planet? Babe?

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Speaker 4: Right? Or it's to stand a wall and right or

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Speaker 4: writ the layup or whatever, But that's not who you are.

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Speaker 4: That's what you do do.

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Speaker 2: Right, And you and you married, And I'm talking about

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Speaker 2: myself for a second, and the third person, I don't

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Speaker 2: always do that.

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Speaker 4: It you You were so much more than that. Like

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Speaker 4: my mom is a is a was is is a rock.

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Speaker 2: Star human right. She made the decision when she was young.

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Speaker 2: She was pregnant with my older brother. I have one sibling.

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Speaker 2: He's one year he's five years older than me. And

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Speaker 2: she made the decision when she she's from a small

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Speaker 2: country in Central America by the name of Billize, and

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Speaker 2: she became pregnant with my brother, with my brother, and

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Speaker 2: she made a decision. You know what, My current situation

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Speaker 2: is not one that I want for myself anymore, nor

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Speaker 2: my babies. So I am gonna make that trek and

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Speaker 2: get up to the States to try and provide a

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Speaker 2: better life for them. And in my darkest moments, ashlynd

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Speaker 2: And they were dark, right, I spent I told you

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Speaker 2: forty nine days locked up, right, twenty three out of

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Speaker 2: twenty four days unable to go outside. And sometimes because

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Speaker 2: of where I was incarcerated here in Texas, some of

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Speaker 2: the guards didn't even want to take me out for

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Speaker 2: the one hour of wreck time because it was sold.

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Speaker 2: And in those moments from like would Mary, would this

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Speaker 2: be what Marion lois? That's my mom's name, Marian. Also

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Speaker 2: I used to call her big Marion me little Marian.

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Speaker 2: Now it's the other way around. Is this what Marion

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Speaker 2: Loy's envision for her babies?

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Speaker 1: Is?

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Speaker 2: This?

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Speaker 4: Is this what and who I am? Right?

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Speaker 2: Is this like the products of all of the sacrifices

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Speaker 2: that she made. Yeah, And once I put it in

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Speaker 2: that perspective, I'm like, well, hell to the no, it's

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Speaker 2: not did I Did I make some poor decisions?

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Speaker 4: Did we go a little bit off track?

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Speaker 2: But that's not going to define that's not going to

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Speaker 2: define me, and I refuse to allow it.

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Speaker 4: To define me. Right, And so that is when the

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Speaker 4: growth like started. And I don't know, honestly, Ashlynd, I

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Speaker 4: don't know if without having that quiet time, even though

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Speaker 4: it was forced upon me right.

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Speaker 2: To just sit with myself, if I would have come

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Speaker 2: to that real that that moment that.

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Speaker 4: I am not what I do?

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Speaker 2: Yes, yes, and so and so when I say that

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Speaker 2: I'm grateful for it all, that's what I mean.

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Speaker 4: And when I say I mean, are there regrets? Sure? Whatever? Whatever,

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Speaker 4: right you know, are there moments? But man, I don't know.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna tell you because I am not the woman

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Speaker 2: that I am today. I mean, you hear it all

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Speaker 2: the time from people who have perseveres and who are

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Speaker 2: so resilient. You hear it from them all the time.

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Speaker 2: I'm not the person who I am today. If I

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Speaker 2: hadn't gone through my.

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Speaker 3: Sky yes, yes, I agree.

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Speaker 1: I we we speak the same language. And I'll say

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Speaker 1: this for those of you who are listening or watching

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Speaker 1: and who who don't know the background of Marion, I

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Speaker 1: mean she was. You're You're the trailblazer on and off

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Speaker 1: the field. You're a phenom. I mean, how many people

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Speaker 1: can literally say, oh, I went to the University of

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Speaker 1: North Carolina, played basketball one national championship and became one

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Speaker 1: of the most like fastest women on the planet. And Sydney,

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Speaker 1: you know you in two thousand and you won five

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Speaker 1: medals and you just you were the first black female

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Speaker 1: athlete on the cover of Vogue, Like you were everywhere,

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Speaker 1: like it was insane. And then what happened was, you know,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to speak for you as you live.

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Speaker 3: This is there.

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Speaker 1: This is when performance enhancement drugs started really hitting the scene.

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Speaker 3: And like, you know, I am younger than you, and.

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Speaker 1: I understand what you sacrifice at all costs to be

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Speaker 1: the greatest.

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Speaker 4: I smiled.

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Speaker 2: Now, there was a time, Ashley, when I would cringe

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Speaker 2: when people would like make comments or you know, I

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Speaker 2: there was a lot of disappointment in all of it

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Speaker 2: with me, Like I dealt with the familial disappoint like

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Speaker 2: disappointing my family and like my close people, and that

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Speaker 2: is that is actually a constant that I struggle with

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Speaker 2: and that I.

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Speaker 4: Deal with often still.

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Speaker 2: But this idea that in the past when people would

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Speaker 2: come in and they would say certain things about my

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Speaker 2: legacy and my career and all that, and it would

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Speaker 2: just get under my skin and eat me up, and

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Speaker 2: I just kind of have to like swallow my words.

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Speaker 2: And now I'm at a point where like cool, like

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Speaker 2: what were you doing when you were twenty eighteen, nineteen

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Speaker 2: twenty three, Like did you have a microscope on you?

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Speaker 1: Were?

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Speaker 2: You're getting paid millions of dollars and everybody in your

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Speaker 2: circle were patting you on the back and they were

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Speaker 2: your yes people, And you know, I'm people listening.

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Speaker 4: To that, They're like, well, what is that?

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Speaker 2: These are people who are around you because and they

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Speaker 2: tell you yes to everything.

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Speaker 4: Yes, you're awesome, Yes you're beautiful. Yes that's the right decision, right.

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Speaker 2: And if you're around that and long enough, you start

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Speaker 2: to like it and you start to say, you know what,

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Speaker 2: I have the resources and the power to only surround

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Speaker 2: those people with me and people who are going to

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Speaker 2: give it to me straight, like my mama, like my

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Speaker 2: close friends, I'm going to distance myself from them because

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Speaker 2: I don't have to hear them telling me that I'm

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Speaker 2: not great or beautiful, right, And that's what happens. And

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Speaker 2: so I just smile now when when you know people

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Speaker 2: will comment because that stuff now is.

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Speaker 4: We think differently.

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Speaker 2: We meeting elite right, like thinkers, elite musicians, elite athletes.

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Speaker 4: We think differently, and that people can come at us

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Speaker 4: all they.

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Speaker 2: Want, and they don't understand how when you get to

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Speaker 2: a certain level of maturity in your growth, Like.

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Speaker 3: We use that shit as fuel fuel.

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Speaker 2: Right, Like I'm training right now, ashlond for for a triathlone,

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Speaker 2: don't triathl don't ask me how I get myself into

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Speaker 2: this stuff.

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Speaker 1: But because we're used to pain, what comfort and the

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Speaker 1: suffering girl and so.

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Speaker 2: Mean, this idea of fuel is in my everyday vocabulary

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Speaker 2: because triathletes they talk about fueling them, fueling their workouts NonStop.

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Speaker 2: But I like to laugh, like I love the critics now,

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Speaker 2: like it's like, yes, come at me, come at me

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Speaker 2: right now, so that just for a moment, I can

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Speaker 2: turn that dang mirror around and say, okay, well, tell

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Speaker 2: me about tell me about your twenties to thirties, right,

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Speaker 2: tell me about your thirties, so for me, tell me

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Speaker 2: about your childhood? Right, and and are you able to

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Speaker 2: now stand in it all and share with the world

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Speaker 2: with the hopes of making helping people realize that they

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Speaker 2: don't have to stay stuck there Ashley, That's where I'm

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Speaker 2: at right now.

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Speaker 4: The mantra is what you don't have to stay stuck

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Speaker 4: in your stuff. You don't have to. When you do,

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Speaker 4: you're making a decision to stay there. You don't have to.

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Speaker 2: There are resources, there are tools, things that you can learn.

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Speaker 2: Your failure in life doesn't have to stay there.

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Speaker 3: Forever, right, And that's where the power lies, no doubt.

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Speaker 4: And then and then the last thing that I share

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Speaker 4: is like, we all have setbacks, right, how can you

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Speaker 4: use it as a catalyst, right for your biggest comeback?

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Speaker 4: And they're like, no, I don't know. I was like, hey, here,

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Speaker 4: just just follow my journey.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: If you if you need a living.

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Speaker 2: Example, right, like, log into this damn podcast, follow Action's career, like,

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Speaker 2: like you know, follow Marion on Instagram.

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Speaker 4: Whatever. If you're looking for it, it's.

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Speaker 3: Out there out there.

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Speaker 1: You just gotta like and we're humanizing it though, Like

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Speaker 1: that's the problem, is humanizing it.

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Speaker 3: Stay tuned, we'll be right back after this. I want

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Speaker 3: to I want to.

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Speaker 1: I want to talk about the price of greatness that

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Speaker 1: people don't know. Right, So people always think I want

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Speaker 1: to be rich, I want to be powerful. It's the

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Speaker 1: American mentality, right, But people don't understand the toll it

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Speaker 1: takes on being the one.

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Speaker 3: People don't understand the pressure to perform at all fucking costs.

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Speaker 1: People don't know the difference, like you know, ambition, expectation,

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Speaker 1: like what is right?

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Speaker 3: What is wrong?

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Speaker 2: It's it's you throw you throw in that in that

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Speaker 2: pot of goodness that you just shared. You know, the

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Speaker 2: pressures of being a woman of color, right, yea, the

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Speaker 2: pressure of being a queer woman before I was even

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Speaker 2: comfortable with sharing with the world and for fear right,

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Speaker 2: that is going to negatively impact me financially.

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Speaker 4: And whatever else.

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Speaker 2: And that I've found and I've been able to identify

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Speaker 2: now Ashlyn as I'm about to turn fifty this year,

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Speaker 2: which is mind blowing. Like we celebrated a few years back,

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Speaker 2: we celebrated thirty years from.

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Speaker 4: The time we won the national champion, Like.

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Speaker 3: It's crazy. That is crazy, right, it is crazy crazy.

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Speaker 2: Maybe it's crazy because you know, every year during March

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Speaker 2: Madness they show the shot that we won, so it's

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Speaker 2: kind of constantly relieved. Yeah, but that's insane. But I

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Speaker 2: find now I can put a word to it. It

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Speaker 2: is a very lonely, lonely journey. People like I want

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Speaker 2: to be a success, like you said, I want to

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Speaker 2: be rich. I want to be on the cover of.

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Speaker 4: This, on the on the let me.

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Speaker 3: People are not ready.

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Speaker 4: Many people are not ready that I mean you you

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Speaker 4: think you see like special social especially with social media,

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Speaker 4: you only see the beautiful, the nice.

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Speaker 3: Good, the highlights, what we call the highlights.

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Speaker 2: People don't know that ninety nine I'm gonna throw a

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Speaker 2: number too. In ninety nine point eight percent of the time,

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Speaker 2: it is a dark place to get there. You see success,

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Speaker 2: you see the gold medals. You know you don't You

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Speaker 2: don't know that. I struggle with stuff growing up in

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Speaker 2: terms of a parent whome turned their back on my fam,

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Speaker 2: my mom and I right, and and although I wanted

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Speaker 2: to be a part of his life and him see

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Speaker 2: my successes and.

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Speaker 4: All that, he chose not to.

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Speaker 2: To the point I get to Carolina. Let me tell

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Speaker 2: you a quick story that it always about. I get

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Speaker 2: to Carolina and we win. We win the national championship

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Speaker 2: my freshman year. My sophomore year, we make it to

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Speaker 2: the sweet sixteen. So we have to fly out to

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Speaker 2: my hometown in Los Angeles. And I were playing Stanford

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Speaker 2: and we're down at halftime.

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Speaker 4: We're just struggling, and I run to the locker room.

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Speaker 2: But before I get there, I look into the fans

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Speaker 2: and I see my father. Now I hadn't seen my

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Speaker 2: father in maybe five or six years. He had cut

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Speaker 2: off all communication with me, et cetera. And I see

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Speaker 2: him right, but I'm running into the locker room, and

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Speaker 2: it almost it makes me excite, Like you know, at

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Speaker 2: that point, I'm really wanting his approval. Right, Look what

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Speaker 2: I've been doing, Dad, right, Like I'm doing something.

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Speaker 4: It's big, it's great.

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Speaker 2: And he just never responded in high school and on

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Speaker 2: all that. And I see his face Ashlyn and I

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Speaker 2: and he kind of pumps me up, like.

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Speaker 4: Well we wound up.

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Speaker 2: Was still losing to Stanford, and that's emotional and everything.

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Speaker 2: And I come out and my mom had driven by

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Speaker 2: that point, she had moved to North Carolina, right, So

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Speaker 2: she was there and I came out mainly because I

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Speaker 2: just wanted to see him, man, I wanted to like

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Speaker 2: hug him, and he was gone, like I couldn't never,

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Speaker 2: I could never find him. And that was actually the

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Speaker 2: last time that I saw him because after I won

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Speaker 2: in the Olympics, a number of years later thousand, two

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Speaker 2: thousand and one, I get.

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Speaker 4: A call that my dad had passed, that my father

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Speaker 4: had passed away.

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Speaker 2: Right, And so people don't know in all of those moments,

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Speaker 2: all of those awards and celebrations, and like how hard

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Speaker 2: it was not to know why.

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Speaker 4: He made certain choices and we all do right, like

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Speaker 4: especially now that we all got different reasons why we

347
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Speaker 4: do stuff, and the idea of not having any of

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Speaker 4: those questions answered now forever.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it's hard.

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Speaker 1: It does something to someone, you know, it's hard not

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Speaker 1: I don't care how much work you do on yourself,

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Speaker 1: marry and like, it does something to someone, and you

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Speaker 1: internalize that.

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Speaker 4: People only see ah, the gold medal, and people only

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Speaker 4: see all that other stuff. They don't know that there

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Speaker 4: is a demon in there that is many times you're

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Speaker 4: not high that you don't want the world to.

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Speaker 1: See you know you're pushing it and you're like, no,

359
00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:54,840
Speaker 1: don't come out now, come out now?

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Speaker 4: Why he wants to see?

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Speaker 2: Right, Like, this is what I'm going to make them

362
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Speaker 2: see exactly what they want to see, which is not

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Speaker 2: a queer woman of color during that time.

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Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, Like I actually no, I didn't know that

365
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:09,760
Speaker 1: about you, Marin.

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Speaker 3: I didn't know that you already knew. Oh yeah years ago.

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Speaker 4: You know, there's when.

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Speaker 3: Did you when did you know? I'm curious?

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Speaker 4: Probably high school? Oh wow, yeah they're there. And yeah.

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Speaker 2: Also there's pressure that I have never even really talked

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Speaker 2: about Ashlyn in that my my family on my maternal side,

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Speaker 2: I share there from Belize, right, which is a very.

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Speaker 4: They were a former British colony, right.

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Speaker 2: And so they're very very conservative even now, like I'll

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Speaker 2: tell you even now. And so growing up in a

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Speaker 2: household whereby I knew that it like it wasn't a

377
00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,760
Speaker 2: thing like it it better not be a thing, right,

378
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Speaker 2: like this is the way it should be, you know,

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Speaker 2: men and women and families and babies, and that is

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Speaker 2: how it should look. And so I have you have

381
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Speaker 2: that pressure that one again. I go back to not

382
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Speaker 2: wanting to disappoint the woman who risked it all for

383
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Speaker 2: following and I have for her and her journey and

384
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Speaker 2: how this will be interpreted by her and her country

385
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Speaker 2: men and women right where by now as a parent,

386
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Speaker 2: I know and of course now with my relationship with

387
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Speaker 2: my mom that has blossomed that it didn't need to

388
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Speaker 2: be that I could have one thousand percent.

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Speaker 4: Been able to share with her who my authentic self

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Speaker 4: was and she would have still loved and embraced me

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Speaker 4: no matter what. So if there are regrets when people

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Speaker 4: are like, oh there must be, let me tell you,

393
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Speaker 4: that's the fucking regret regrets or reaction for.

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Speaker 3: My where where past that you be?

395
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Speaker 4: You the regret that my mom and I had to

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Speaker 4: go through so many years and decades of disconnect because

397
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Speaker 4: I felt that that was what I needed to do

398
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Speaker 4: besides all the.

399
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Speaker 2: Other stuff, right, besides telling the world whatever when it's

400
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:33,119
Speaker 2: your mama, right, and and how our relationship has manifested

401
00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:37,040
Speaker 2: now because I'm my authentic self and wishing that I

402
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:38,960
Speaker 2: could get all of those.

403
00:22:38,800 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 4: Years back right.

404
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:44,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it's very raw and real with me right now,

405
00:22:44,119 --> 00:22:47,640
Speaker 2: just because like knowing that.

406
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Speaker 4: It hurt her for her daughter to be like disconnected.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I want to dive into that a little

408
00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,840
Speaker 1: bit because I can tell it's bumping you. Yeah, And

409
00:22:58,880 --> 00:23:00,920
Speaker 1: I want to talk about because I think it's really

410
00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:04,200
Speaker 1: important because you have gone through so much. You were

411
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 1: sentenced to fuck it you, I mean, you were locked

412
00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:11,080
Speaker 1: up and all of this stuff in the public eye

413
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 1: was unfolding. So many people had judgment, so many people

414
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Speaker 1: had something to say. And I'm curious because I know

415
00:23:20,720 --> 00:23:24,960
Speaker 1: I'm a mom, you're a mom. The shame and the

416
00:23:25,040 --> 00:23:29,520
Speaker 1: private healing and that amongst those walls where you can't

417
00:23:29,800 --> 00:23:32,359
Speaker 1: the only person you can talk to is yourself and

418
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Speaker 1: your soul. And I'm curious what that like was, what

419
00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:40,120
Speaker 1: that walk me through that? What is the difference between

420
00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:43,520
Speaker 1: the guilt and the shame? Where's the power in between it?

421
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Speaker 1: Where do I even begin to where do you begin

422
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Speaker 1: to forgive yourself?

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Speaker 2: You know, you know, as I've shared the moments that

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Speaker 2: were the deepest and darkest were you know, during those

425
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Speaker 2: forty nine days, But they also the most enlightening because

426
00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:08,919
Speaker 2: you know, people will people don't know, I say, you know,

427
00:24:09,040 --> 00:24:12,600
Speaker 2: but people don't know when you are in what they

428
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,040
Speaker 2: call the shoe, which is just a way for you

429
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:19,639
Speaker 2: to say solitary confinement. Generally most of your privileges have

430
00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:23,199
Speaker 2: been taken away, right, So I'll give a little bit

431
00:24:23,200 --> 00:24:26,040
Speaker 2: of background on why I was insolitary. First of all,

432
00:24:26,600 --> 00:24:30,080
Speaker 2: I was sentenced to six months in incarceration for lying

433
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Speaker 2: to federal investigators.

434
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:32,440
Speaker 4: That was my offense.

435
00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:38,520
Speaker 2: And when I was initially sentenced on that particular day

436
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:42,520
Speaker 2: in New York, my legal team and I went.

437
00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:44,440
Speaker 4: Into the sentencing.

438
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:49,240
Speaker 2: Fairly confident Ashland that I would be sentenced to some

439
00:24:49,440 --> 00:24:50,320
Speaker 2: form of probation.

440
00:24:52,040 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 4: They do an.

441
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:58,920
Speaker 2: Extensive investigation on the individual and the benefits of incarcerating

442
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Speaker 2: somebody versus them being on probation and essentially using their

443
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:09,639
Speaker 2: mess to teach. So the recommendation from the court even

444
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:13,440
Speaker 2: before we went into the sentencing was that Marian most

445
00:25:13,560 --> 00:25:17,880
Speaker 2: likely would be given probation, although we knew that there

446
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 2: was a chance that time could be had.

447
00:25:22,600 --> 00:25:23,800
Speaker 4: I stepped in there.

448
00:25:23,600 --> 00:25:26,880
Speaker 2: With confidence, and so did my lab And so three

449
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:30,359
Speaker 2: hours later I had to look to my left and

450
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:34,320
Speaker 2: my right to my attorneys and I said, hold on,

451
00:25:34,800 --> 00:25:39,800
Speaker 2: did I hear this guy the judge say that I

452
00:25:39,880 --> 00:25:44,240
Speaker 2: was sentenced to six months incarceration And they were almost

453
00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 2: flabberg acid as well, like, we don't we think so

454
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,639
Speaker 2: in essence, what it came down to, and the judge

455
00:25:51,720 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 2: shared this that I was of course being used as

456
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:58,560
Speaker 2: the example. You know, of course, plus athletes that were

457
00:25:58,560 --> 00:26:02,440
Speaker 2: in all of this, somebody needed to be the example.

458
00:26:04,119 --> 00:26:06,800
Speaker 2: Found out later Ashland, and I don't mind saying now,

459
00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:09,280
Speaker 2: I don't need to whisper please, at that time that

460
00:26:09,560 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 2: this particular judge was up for reelection.

461
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:16,920
Speaker 4: And needed to have a big case, a big strong case. Right.

462
00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:20,320
Speaker 2: Anyways, whole other story that we won't go down to,

463
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:23,400
Speaker 2: but the whole point that when I was initially sentenced,

464
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:24,720
Speaker 2: I was sentenced to some.

465
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:29,160
Speaker 4: Hardcore federal prison I don't know, and I don't.

466
00:26:28,960 --> 00:26:32,280
Speaker 2: Even remember this in Mississippi or somewhere. It wasn't Martha

467
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:35,000
Speaker 2: Stewart type like incarceration. Right.

468
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:39,800
Speaker 4: Thankfully, at the last moment they moved me closer to

469
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,440
Speaker 4: home in Fort Worth. And there's two parts of the

470
00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:45,840
Speaker 4: federal prison in Fort Worth, Texas. It's called Carswealth.

471
00:26:46,960 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 2: There is a camp side Ashland whereby they are offenders

472
00:26:52,119 --> 00:26:56,960
Speaker 2: that like fudge on their taxes, like no, not hardcore offenders.

473
00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,320
Speaker 2: And across the street behind the barbed wire there are

474
00:27:00,359 --> 00:27:04,280
Speaker 2: your hardcore offenders, murderers whatever, so I was on the

475
00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:07,000
Speaker 2: camp side, right, and I was functioning in there.

476
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:08,880
Speaker 4: I was, you know, figuring it out.

477
00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:16,760
Speaker 2: And trying to understand and learn the prison way.

478
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 4: No background, Ashland.

479
00:27:19,359 --> 00:27:22,360
Speaker 3: Whatever that look, I mean, nobody in my family.

480
00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,119
Speaker 2: I mean the only exposure I had to it was

481
00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:27,560
Speaker 2: that show lock Up like lock.

482
00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:29,080
Speaker 3: Hell, yeah, I watched that too.

483
00:27:29,600 --> 00:27:30,920
Speaker 4: I love that damn show.

484
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,679
Speaker 3: And so I'm glad you could laugh about it.

485
00:27:34,720 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 4: Now. You have to know, right, you have to.

486
00:27:37,080 --> 00:27:41,359
Speaker 2: Know I didn't have any any any any prison sense.

487
00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 4: And I find out quickly right that there are some

488
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,520
Speaker 4: halves and have nots. Even in prison. There haves are

489
00:27:46,640 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 4: people who have a support system on the outside, people

490
00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,760
Speaker 4: whom will write them and you can call and they

491
00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 4: will put money on your books so that you can

492
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:58,439
Speaker 4: get commissary. And then you have the have nots. And

493
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:00,800
Speaker 4: these are people, unfortunately who maybe I've been in the

494
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,800
Speaker 4: system for so long Ashland, they have no support system,

495
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,439
Speaker 4: so they don't have anybody who writes to them, they

496
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:08,720
Speaker 4: don't have anybody who puts money on their books for

497
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:12,479
Speaker 4: the basic necessities. And so the way the system works

498
00:28:12,680 --> 00:28:16,640
Speaker 4: is by if you're part of the have nots, you

499
00:28:16,840 --> 00:28:19,639
Speaker 4: have a trade, you have a skill that you and

500
00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:23,560
Speaker 4: essence sell so that you can have money on your commissary.

501
00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:24,159
Speaker 4: And I learned that.

502
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,680
Speaker 2: Of course, I had folks supporting me, and I had money,

503
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 2: plenty of money on my commissary to buy stuff. So

504
00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:32,240
Speaker 2: I had a roommate who was part of the have

505
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:36,120
Speaker 2: not and she offered her skill was washing clothes. Let

506
00:28:36,119 --> 00:28:37,840
Speaker 2: me tell you why it's a big thing in prison,

507
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,800
Speaker 2: because they only have two or three washers and dryers

508
00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 2: on the camp side and you have to stand there

509
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:46,200
Speaker 2: the entire time or somebody will steal your shit. Okay,

510
00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:50,360
Speaker 2: w I hired her to wash my stuff because I

511
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:53,360
Speaker 2: worked out a lot. Again, that's my release from it all.

512
00:28:53,480 --> 00:28:57,240
Speaker 2: I left my prison time more in shape.

513
00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 4: Than when I went to the Olympics.

514
00:28:58,280 --> 00:29:01,120
Speaker 2: That's how much I worked out, because that I had

515
00:29:01,120 --> 00:29:04,840
Speaker 2: a lot of sweatsuits and I needed to wash it often. Well.

516
00:29:04,880 --> 00:29:07,640
Speaker 2: I started to notice, Ashland, that some of my stuff

517
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:13,240
Speaker 2: was missing, like and I'm paying her in commissary of course,

518
00:29:13,560 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 2: to make sure my stuff is And you find out

519
00:29:17,040 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 2: very quickly, Ashland, that you do not confront anybody that.

520
00:29:23,920 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 4: You don't do that.

521
00:29:24,960 --> 00:29:26,680
Speaker 2: So I have to figure out a way how to

522
00:29:26,800 --> 00:29:29,040
Speaker 2: tell this individual that I don't want to use her

523
00:29:29,080 --> 00:29:31,440
Speaker 2: services anymore in a way that she's not going to

524
00:29:31,480 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 2: take offense. And so I decided, you don't do it

525
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,120
Speaker 2: in front of anybody else, you do it one on one,

526
00:29:39,400 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 2: which I did and then I realized later on though,

527
00:29:42,760 --> 00:29:46,160
Speaker 2: but what I did really was I took away her

528
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:50,840
Speaker 2: ability to get anything from commissary by saying hey, in

529
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,560
Speaker 2: the way I said it was, hey, I'm not gonna

530
00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:54,560
Speaker 2: I'm not going to need for you to do that anymore.

531
00:29:54,560 --> 00:29:57,800
Speaker 2: I'm going to wash stuff myself. I did it very gently, lightly.

532
00:29:58,040 --> 00:29:58,360
Speaker 3: Yeah.

533
00:29:58,400 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 2: Well, she didn't take it very well, and there was

534
00:30:00,360 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 2: an altercation to the point where I had to run.

535
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:03,720
Speaker 4: I mean, there were.

536
00:30:03,560 --> 00:30:07,000
Speaker 2: Fistical all kinds of stuff why or had to run

537
00:30:07,080 --> 00:30:09,840
Speaker 2: find the guard. The guard then takes us both to

538
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:13,640
Speaker 2: the other side, the real prison side, while they do

539
00:30:13,760 --> 00:30:16,760
Speaker 2: an investigation, which took forty nine days.

540
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:20,400
Speaker 4: Her word versus my word. So that is why I

541
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,440
Speaker 4: was in solitary for forty nine days.

542
00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:27,000
Speaker 2: Right again, though your reaction is this, but Ashley, it

543
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:30,080
Speaker 2: was such a blessing because if I was on the

544
00:30:30,080 --> 00:30:33,880
Speaker 2: camp side and I'm doing my job and I'm functioning,

545
00:30:33,960 --> 00:30:37,600
Speaker 2: and I'm doing marrying type things, which means I'm connecting

546
00:30:37,640 --> 00:30:40,760
Speaker 2: with people and I'm forming relationships and I'm learning and

547
00:30:40,840 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 2: all of that. I don't know if I would have

548
00:30:42,920 --> 00:30:47,560
Speaker 2: had time to pause enough even in prison the camp side,

549
00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,840
Speaker 2: as opposed to when I was twenty three out of

550
00:30:50,880 --> 00:30:55,080
Speaker 2: twenty four days where I was just by myself. And

551
00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,320
Speaker 2: so to kind of wrap this story, bring it in

552
00:30:57,360 --> 00:30:59,719
Speaker 2: for a landing, you talked about like what it all

553
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:02,000
Speaker 2: looked like initially?

554
00:31:02,640 --> 00:31:08,520
Speaker 4: Dark? Right? I journaled a lot, I, you know.

555
00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:11,160
Speaker 2: Beat myself up, like how could you you know, how

556
00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:14,120
Speaker 2: could you have made certain choices? How how why did

557
00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:18,440
Speaker 2: you surround yourself with people who wouldn't be solid with you?

558
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:22,520
Speaker 2: Or why couldn't you identify red flags and relationships and

559
00:31:22,520 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 2: all that?

560
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:27,520
Speaker 4: And then you just get to a point, probably two

561
00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:29,280
Speaker 4: three four weeks.

562
00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:32,080
Speaker 2: Into my my time in solitaire, I'm like, well, what

563
00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:32,600
Speaker 2: is that?

564
00:31:33,600 --> 00:31:35,000
Speaker 4: Like what's that doing for you?

565
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 2: Like? Is that gonna help me when I get out

566
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:41,600
Speaker 2: to figure out who I am, who I'm going to become?

567
00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:43,280
Speaker 4: Is that going to provide a living?

568
00:31:43,560 --> 00:31:43,680
Speaker 1: Like?

569
00:31:43,720 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 3: What?

570
00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:44,200
Speaker 1: What?

571
00:31:44,640 --> 00:31:44,680
Speaker 4: What?

572
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:47,520
Speaker 2: And so you just I just got to a point

573
00:31:47,520 --> 00:31:50,280
Speaker 2: where I'm like done with the fucking tears. I'm done

574
00:31:50,320 --> 00:31:53,560
Speaker 2: with them I'm done with the apologies. I stood on

575
00:31:53,600 --> 00:31:56,800
Speaker 2: the courtroom steps after the sentencing. I stood on the

576
00:31:56,840 --> 00:32:00,959
Speaker 2: courtroom steps, and I had made the decision, even prior

577
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 2: to the sentencing Ashland, that for the last time, I

578
00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:08,120
Speaker 2: was going to share with the world like this is

579
00:32:08,160 --> 00:32:15,479
Speaker 2: what happened, and I apologize right because also I asked

580
00:32:15,520 --> 00:32:18,400
Speaker 2: for acceptance with the world, right like I wanted to

581
00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:20,920
Speaker 2: be on the cover of every magazine, right like I

582
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 2: wanted the fame, I wanted the money, and I brought

583
00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:26,920
Speaker 2: this the whole world with me. And when I made

584
00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 2: certain poor choices, I disappointed many, many people, and they

585
00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 2: deserved an apology. So that's why on the courtroom steps

586
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:37,400
Speaker 2: in front of I don't know somebody brought up the

587
00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:39,760
Speaker 2: other day, it must have been one thousand plus cameras,

588
00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:44,440
Speaker 2: I shared that I had made a poor choice, and

589
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:50,920
Speaker 2: I am accepting my consequences. And the moment that I knew, Ashland,

590
00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:53,320
Speaker 2: that I was going to get through it all, this

591
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 2: was even before I went I surrendered and turned myself

592
00:32:58,080 --> 00:33:01,440
Speaker 2: in for the six months. On those courtroom steps, my

593
00:33:01,560 --> 00:33:05,760
Speaker 2: mom's hand was on my shoulder, right, and she's rubbing

594
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,680
Speaker 2: my shoulder, and she's whispering in my ear. With all

595
00:33:08,720 --> 00:33:12,160
Speaker 2: the cameras and the questions, she said, you got this,

596
00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 2: You're gonna get through this.

597
00:33:15,080 --> 00:33:16,240
Speaker 4: We're going to get through this.

598
00:33:17,120 --> 00:33:20,720
Speaker 2: And people have asked how when like that is the

599
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:24,200
Speaker 2: moment for me that I knew that it was gonna

600
00:33:24,240 --> 00:33:29,360
Speaker 2: be hard, right, I'm no stranger to hard stuff, to discomfort,

601
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,959
Speaker 2: as we talk about, I knew that it was going

602
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:35,120
Speaker 2: to have the dark, hard moments. But then the next

603
00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:39,440
Speaker 2: day we'd bring some light. And I decided while I

604
00:33:39,560 --> 00:33:42,160
Speaker 2: was in the shoe, while I was locked up in solitary,

605
00:33:42,720 --> 00:33:48,800
Speaker 2: that when the time was right Ashland, that the world was.

606
00:33:48,760 --> 00:33:51,800
Speaker 4: Going to hear the whole story. They were going to

607
00:33:51,920 --> 00:33:53,120
Speaker 4: hear about the mess.

608
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:56,280
Speaker 2: They were gonna hear how I was able to deal

609
00:33:56,320 --> 00:33:59,160
Speaker 2: with it, get through it, like all of it when

610
00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:01,840
Speaker 2: I was ready, when I also felt like my family

611
00:34:01,920 --> 00:34:02,320
Speaker 2: was ready.

612
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:10,719
Speaker 4: At that point, I had two kids, two boys, and.

613
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:12,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what people don't know, like you were

614
00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:15,560
Speaker 1: doing this when you had two like you were a

615
00:34:15,680 --> 00:34:16,320
Speaker 1: new mom.

616
00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:16,839
Speaker 4: Yeah.

617
00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:20,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was also the catalyst though, to say,

618
00:34:20,280 --> 00:34:22,719
Speaker 2: you know what, like it's time to share with the

619
00:34:22,760 --> 00:34:25,480
Speaker 2: world what it is, because, as you know, when you

620
00:34:25,560 --> 00:34:30,120
Speaker 2: have kids, everything you say and you don't say. Everything

621
00:34:30,160 --> 00:34:35,239
Speaker 2: you do and don't do like affects them. And so

622
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:39,680
Speaker 2: during that time when I was being investigated and everything,

623
00:34:39,719 --> 00:34:42,400
Speaker 2: and I'm you know, claiming that I didn't know what

624
00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:44,640
Speaker 2: I had been given and all that type of stuff,

625
00:34:44,680 --> 00:34:49,000
Speaker 2: And right, I'm turning around and coming home and telling

626
00:34:49,000 --> 00:34:52,800
Speaker 2: my kids, like, when you make a poor choice, you

627
00:34:53,280 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 2: tell me and we deal with the consequences, and.

628
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:57,600
Speaker 4: What a hypocrite.

629
00:34:57,800 --> 00:35:00,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, like I was living and then I'm like, wait, no,

630
00:35:01,640 --> 00:35:04,719
Speaker 2: at at one point in my kids' lives, they're gonna

631
00:35:04,760 --> 00:35:08,360
Speaker 2: do the timeline right, and they're gonna say, Okay, you know,

632
00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:10,719
Speaker 2: mom was in lead athlete, she was this, this, this,

633
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:13,399
Speaker 2: and she made poor choices and then she had us

634
00:35:13,560 --> 00:35:15,960
Speaker 2: and then she was still telling lies but then telling

635
00:35:16,040 --> 00:35:21,319
Speaker 2: us not to lie. What No, pump the brakes. I

636
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:23,520
Speaker 2: don't care what the consequences are gonna be, and it

637
00:35:23,560 --> 00:35:25,200
Speaker 2: certainly I didn't at that point know what they were

638
00:35:25,239 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 2: gonna be. But I don't care because this means more

639
00:35:28,120 --> 00:35:29,680
Speaker 2: to me than any of it.

640
00:35:30,480 --> 00:35:32,399
Speaker 4: Right. If I lose it all, I lose it all.

641
00:35:32,440 --> 00:35:35,440
Speaker 2: But at least I have the respect of my babies, right,

642
00:35:36,080 --> 00:35:41,359
Speaker 2: And that's I mean that was the catalyst. And so

643
00:35:42,400 --> 00:35:44,360
Speaker 2: now I can stand here and I go back to

644
00:35:44,400 --> 00:35:48,160
Speaker 2: this idea of pride knowing that my kids right, and

645
00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 2: they're old enough now I have a twenty one, a seventeen,

646
00:35:50,560 --> 00:35:54,400
Speaker 2: and a fifteen, and they know the story right, and

647
00:35:54,440 --> 00:35:58,399
Speaker 2: that they when they dissect it all, if they haven't yet,

648
00:35:58,560 --> 00:35:59,080
Speaker 2: they will.

649
00:35:59,560 --> 00:35:59,880
Speaker 3: Right.

650
00:36:00,360 --> 00:36:03,719
Speaker 2: I've raised some incredible humans that are gonna make such

651
00:36:03,760 --> 00:36:06,239
Speaker 2: an incredible impact in the world. And what I am

652
00:36:06,320 --> 00:36:09,640
Speaker 2: most proud of in my life to having having to

653
00:36:09,640 --> 00:36:10,600
Speaker 2: do that and doing that.

654
00:36:12,160 --> 00:36:16,200
Speaker 4: But now it's time. My quiet time is done. My

655
00:36:16,360 --> 00:36:20,360
Speaker 4: time now is to shout it right whoever needs to

656
00:36:20,400 --> 00:36:23,080
Speaker 4: hear it. People who weren't who are not even a

657
00:36:23,120 --> 00:36:26,680
Speaker 4: fan Ashland of sport, who could care less how fast

658
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:30,280
Speaker 4: I ran, how many soccer balls you blocked, right, But.

659
00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 2: They now are in some shit and they need to

660
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:37,239
Speaker 2: hear from somebody who has lived it that it's possible.

661
00:36:37,000 --> 00:36:37,920
Speaker 4: To get out of it.

662
00:36:38,480 --> 00:36:41,319
Speaker 2: Yep, right, And that is the moment that you know

663
00:36:41,400 --> 00:36:43,319
Speaker 2: what I'm gonna shout. I don't care if there's still

664
00:36:43,400 --> 00:36:45,960
Speaker 2: doors slam Ashton, I don't care if there's some people

665
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:48,040
Speaker 2: out there that are like and I.

666
00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 4: Don't want to hear from her she's a cheat, or.

667
00:36:50,880 --> 00:36:53,240
Speaker 2: I don't want to hear from her because she lied,

668
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:55,440
Speaker 2: okay by Felicia?

669
00:36:55,560 --> 00:36:56,640
Speaker 4: Is that what now?

670
00:36:57,640 --> 00:36:58,760
Speaker 3: Just unsubscribed?

671
00:36:58,960 --> 00:37:02,440
Speaker 4: Right? Not? And my voice will not be stifled.

672
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:06,480
Speaker 2: I am not going to have as you talked about earlier,

673
00:37:06,560 --> 00:37:11,360
Speaker 2: like my narrative written for me anymore. So and so

674
00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,359
Speaker 2: and that is the moment right where ah you talk

675
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 2: about it, talk about strength, you talk about like that's

676
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:21,880
Speaker 2: the fuel that gets me up now in all of it, Ashlyn,

677
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,040
Speaker 2: and my my tone will change just for a millisecond.

678
00:37:25,400 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 2: I don't want anybody hearing this to think that that

679
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:34,040
Speaker 2: they're not days, they're not moment that I that I

680
00:37:34,120 --> 00:37:36,319
Speaker 2: sit and I stew in it, right and then I

681
00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:40,400
Speaker 2: don't you know, there's not sadness and anger and humiliation

682
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:41,319
Speaker 2: and embarrassment.

683
00:37:41,360 --> 00:37:44,400
Speaker 4: It's not that. But I just don't stay there for

684
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:46,600
Speaker 4: longer than however long, right.

685
00:37:46,719 --> 00:37:49,719
Speaker 3: No, that grief, that grief still lives within you.

686
00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:53,279
Speaker 2: Days and that you just you're you're better equipped with

687
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:54,480
Speaker 2: how to deal with.

688
00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:55,239
Speaker 3: To handle it.

689
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:57,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, I got to ask this as you say this,

690
00:37:57,560 --> 00:38:00,600
Speaker 1: it's just you know, I'm I'm you know, as we spoke,

691
00:38:01,000 --> 00:38:03,520
Speaker 1: you know a few weeks ago I am in the

692
00:38:03,640 --> 00:38:07,120
Speaker 1: journey now of my second wind, and you're so true

693
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:10,640
Speaker 1: and sure of who you are, and you talk about

694
00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:13,400
Speaker 1: this really important moment where your mom puts, you know,

695
00:38:13,680 --> 00:38:17,440
Speaker 1: her hand on your shoulder and just shows you like

696
00:38:17,719 --> 00:38:20,320
Speaker 1: I'm here, like I got you and we're in this together.

697
00:38:21,239 --> 00:38:22,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, just grace.

698
00:38:24,960 --> 00:38:27,600
Speaker 1: Who showed up for you when everyone else left besides

699
00:38:27,640 --> 00:38:31,800
Speaker 1: your mom? Because that's been my biggest struggle. I'll be

700
00:38:31,880 --> 00:38:35,080
Speaker 1: real honest, that's been my biggest struggle is when all

701
00:38:35,080 --> 00:38:39,320
Speaker 1: this shit you know, happened and all these people it

702
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:43,480
Speaker 1: opened the door all these opinions and expectations and who

703
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:45,920
Speaker 1: you were and how you showed up as a mom

704
00:38:45,960 --> 00:38:50,600
Speaker 1: and your character who showed up when everyone else left?

705
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:57,520
Speaker 4: It's hard. It's not hard because I don't know.

706
00:38:57,920 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 2: It's hard to express it because.

707
00:39:05,280 --> 00:39:07,359
Speaker 4: People are people. And let me explain what I mean

708
00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:12,000
Speaker 4: by that. There are people along the way that were there.

709
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:22,920
Speaker 2: Okay, they were there when it's convenient for them. And

710
00:39:26,880 --> 00:39:30,759
Speaker 2: what's hard about it is to think about it, right,

711
00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 2: like to to know that even some.

712
00:39:35,000 --> 00:39:37,719
Speaker 4: Of them are my friends now, right.

713
00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:41,480
Speaker 2: So that's what's hard, right, is because it's not a

714
00:39:41,520 --> 00:39:44,640
Speaker 2: conversation that has been had with them because it's hard.

715
00:39:45,040 --> 00:39:47,520
Speaker 4: And I want to say like, yeah, you were there,

716
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:53,160
Speaker 4: but when it's convenient for you, right, And.

717
00:39:56,080 --> 00:40:05,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, mama, it makes for establishing a community of friends hard, right,

718
00:40:06,040 --> 00:40:10,279
Speaker 2: because like I mean, and if you have that, great,

719
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:13,759
Speaker 2: but I find that like trust issues and people might

720
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 2: even turn it around and say, well, we don't trust

721
00:40:15,680 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 2: you married well, like I have a very very hard

722
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:23,719
Speaker 2: time with establishing a circle because of my lack of

723
00:40:23,760 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 2: trust that when and if things go sour, people will

724
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:33,000
Speaker 2: just disappear. I know, Mama's not disappearing. I know my brother.

725
00:40:33,239 --> 00:40:35,239
Speaker 2: I should have also said my brother and my mother

726
00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:38,920
Speaker 2: like they've always been there. But you know, and I

727
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,839
Speaker 2: am confident that I have a partner now that's not

728
00:40:41,880 --> 00:40:44,480
Speaker 2: going to disappear. And now I have brought three kids

729
00:40:44,480 --> 00:40:46,120
Speaker 2: in the world and they're not disappearing.

730
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:50,400
Speaker 4: They need Venmo cash app all that. No, they're not

731
00:40:50,440 --> 00:40:51,960
Speaker 4: going anywhere.

732
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 3: But damn and they're expensive.

733
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:59,800
Speaker 2: But beyond that, you know, there's just that that caution

734
00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:07,040
Speaker 2: to create a community whereby man, if hiccups happen in life,

735
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:10,680
Speaker 2: and they do, and they will like who who is

736
00:41:10,719 --> 00:41:13,040
Speaker 2: going to be around for it all? And I'm confident

737
00:41:13,080 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 2: and I've put together some people now that will, but

738
00:41:16,400 --> 00:41:19,680
Speaker 2: there's always that and that's a that's a that's a

739
00:41:19,719 --> 00:41:24,280
Speaker 2: lonely place to live and to function and to grow

740
00:41:24,360 --> 00:41:25,319
Speaker 2: old with.

741
00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:28,680
Speaker 4: And that's what I have to hold on to, you know.

742
00:41:29,200 --> 00:41:31,680
Speaker 4: So that's tough, that's hard. That's a really good question asked.

743
00:41:31,719 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 4: I've never been asking that.

744
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:39,560
Speaker 1: This is wide open and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris.

745
00:41:39,680 --> 00:41:40,560
Speaker 3: We'll be right back.

746
00:41:48,680 --> 00:41:51,640
Speaker 1: I feel like we connect on a lot of levels.

747
00:41:51,719 --> 00:41:54,760
Speaker 1: And you know, as you know, going through my second

748
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:58,160
Speaker 1: wind right now, and I'm grieving in the process, I'm

749
00:41:58,200 --> 00:42:01,920
Speaker 1: parenting in the process, and I agree, I have moments

750
00:42:01,960 --> 00:42:03,760
Speaker 1: of great grief and shame.

751
00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,200
Speaker 3: And you know, I have.

752
00:42:06,120 --> 00:42:08,719
Speaker 1: Two very young kids who see that, you know, and

753
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:13,120
Speaker 1: I I it's hard, and sometimes it's okay just to say, man,

754
00:42:13,120 --> 00:42:13,920
Speaker 1: it's fucking hard.

755
00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:15,080
Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah.

756
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:19,520
Speaker 2: And I'll tell you, though, Ashlyn, what in an incredible

757
00:42:19,719 --> 00:42:24,320
Speaker 2: role model you are in that even when we talked

758
00:42:24,360 --> 00:42:27,960
Speaker 2: a few weeks back and how you parents and who

759
00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:33,160
Speaker 2: you are and that you are so transparent when it

760
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:36,960
Speaker 2: comes to your babies and to your kids, and for

761
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:42,719
Speaker 2: me that was everything, right, like how all of this

762
00:42:43,200 --> 00:42:50,560
Speaker 2: would shape my kids' lives. Transparency, authenticity, that they see

763
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:53,680
Speaker 2: the good days right with mom or mom, I don't

764
00:42:53,719 --> 00:42:56,719
Speaker 2: know what they're what they call it, Mama, I see

765
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,359
Speaker 2: the good days, they see the hard days, they see

766
00:42:59,400 --> 00:43:01,480
Speaker 2: how you now to gate it, you talk them through it.

767
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:03,520
Speaker 2: And as they get older, I know they're they're young,

768
00:43:03,840 --> 00:43:06,880
Speaker 2: but as you get older, like continue to do that,

769
00:43:07,360 --> 00:43:10,640
Speaker 2: just on a whatever level they're at. So I'm giving

770
00:43:10,680 --> 00:43:13,400
Speaker 2: you like high five, like thank you. We all need

771
00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 2: we all need encouragement. And I and I'm here to say,

772
00:43:16,320 --> 00:43:18,840
Speaker 2: looking from the outside in and what you've shared and

773
00:43:19,360 --> 00:43:22,279
Speaker 2: what I've learned about you like you, that is the

774
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,200
Speaker 2: example that you are setting that all of us can

775
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:25,960
Speaker 2: look towards.

776
00:43:25,960 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 4: So keep doing.

777
00:43:27,000 --> 00:43:29,359
Speaker 3: Thank you for sure, Yeah, thank you for saying that.

778
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:33,279
Speaker 1: And I appreciate that, and I you know, I I'm

779
00:43:33,280 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 1: grateful that you said that, and you've taken the time

780
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:39,480
Speaker 1: and I see a lot of myself and your struggle,

781
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:42,520
Speaker 1: and it it humanizes it for me and and.

782
00:43:42,520 --> 00:43:46,200
Speaker 3: It lets me know I'm gonna be okay too, no doubt.

783
00:43:46,200 --> 00:43:52,200
Speaker 1: And I appreciate your vulnerability and your honesty and and

784
00:43:52,239 --> 00:43:54,480
Speaker 1: this is the big part, you know, and this is

785
00:43:54,520 --> 00:43:56,960
Speaker 1: the next part. I want to talk about your willingness

786
00:43:57,040 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 1: now to come out public and be in the public

787
00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 1: eye again and really start talking about it, because if

788
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:08,840
Speaker 1: you didn't choose to do that, we wouldn't be having

789
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:14,879
Speaker 1: these incredible conversations and you know, just share space and

790
00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:21,520
Speaker 1: feelings if you chose to continue working on yourself behind

791
00:44:21,520 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 1: the scenes and not in the public eye. So I'll

792
00:44:23,800 --> 00:44:26,160
Speaker 1: want to ask that question because you did decide to

793
00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:29,600
Speaker 1: do Special Forces, which is such a course you did.

794
00:44:30,440 --> 00:44:32,279
Speaker 1: Of course you did Special Forces. I mean, what are

795
00:44:32,320 --> 00:44:35,520
Speaker 1: we talking about? But I want to know why you chose.

796
00:44:35,840 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 1: You know, you spoke about it a little a little bit.

797
00:44:38,200 --> 00:44:41,360
Speaker 1: I want to know why now have you made the

798
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:45,640
Speaker 1: choice to really come out and talk about what you

799
00:44:45,719 --> 00:44:50,680
Speaker 1: went through and talk about your story and your life.

800
00:44:51,920 --> 00:44:53,600
Speaker 4: Well, there are a lot of layers to that.

801
00:44:56,080 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 2: I'll speak on the Special Forces opportunity in that.

802
00:45:03,000 --> 00:45:07,879
Speaker 4: It was I don't know, it is God in some.

803
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,160
Speaker 2: Way because I had made the decision about a year

804
00:45:10,160 --> 00:45:17,600
Speaker 2: and a half ago that the story in my head

805
00:45:17,640 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 2: and heart and body wasn't helping anybody, right, like, just

806
00:45:22,160 --> 00:45:26,960
Speaker 2: stay in there, and how to strategically start to share

807
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:32,080
Speaker 2: with people who I am, Why I am who I

808
00:45:32,280 --> 00:45:37,000
Speaker 2: More importantly, see myself becoming because I think we're all

809
00:45:37,040 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 2: a work in progress, yes, and like, yeah, how do

810
00:45:44,120 --> 00:45:48,880
Speaker 2: I do that authentically? I stem from a culture where

811
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 2: you don't really put your dirty laundry out there, right,

812
00:45:52,040 --> 00:45:55,319
Speaker 2: Like it's kind of looked looked down on to do that.

813
00:45:56,880 --> 00:45:59,200
Speaker 2: And then you start to realize, well, Mary, and you

814
00:45:59,239 --> 00:46:03,520
Speaker 2: need to come into you know, it's not going away.

815
00:46:04,160 --> 00:46:06,359
Speaker 2: So how do I leverage that in a way that

816
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:11,480
Speaker 2: truly and truly shows who I am? Right, There's no

817
00:46:11,560 --> 00:46:13,320
Speaker 2: way that I could have come back on the scene

818
00:46:13,360 --> 00:46:16,799
Speaker 2: Ashland and not it not be authentic, right, Like.

819
00:46:16,800 --> 00:46:20,120
Speaker 4: It almost had to be right, yeah.

820
00:46:19,760 --> 00:46:21,759
Speaker 2: And so the idea that when I came back on

821
00:46:21,800 --> 00:46:24,000
Speaker 2: I didn't even realize that it was a thing Ashland,

822
00:46:24,040 --> 00:46:27,240
Speaker 2: that that people didn't realize that I was out or whatever,

823
00:46:27,280 --> 00:46:31,240
Speaker 2: because for my time, you know, the decade that I

824
00:46:31,280 --> 00:46:33,960
Speaker 2: made the decision to be in my community and my

825
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:37,120
Speaker 2: family and raise my kids, like I was out right,

826
00:46:37,200 --> 00:46:40,480
Speaker 2: like yeah, and so when I made a decision to

827
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:43,840
Speaker 2: like be back in the world, it was almost like

828
00:46:43,920 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 2: somebody said, wait, you know, the world doesn't know that,

829
00:46:47,640 --> 00:46:48,000
Speaker 2: like you.

830
00:46:48,000 --> 00:46:50,720
Speaker 4: Have a partner. I was like, oh, okay, so that's

831
00:46:50,760 --> 00:46:54,480
Speaker 4: I guess I got to share that so that and

832
00:46:54,560 --> 00:46:57,400
Speaker 4: so it was it was almost like a flippant type

833
00:46:57,440 --> 00:47:00,439
Speaker 4: thing that I'm like, hey, y'all, it's pride, this last

834
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:02,680
Speaker 4: year pride or something like, it's pride, and and it

835
00:47:02,760 --> 00:47:05,879
Speaker 4: really resonates with me because right, this is who I am.

836
00:47:06,560 --> 00:47:11,080
Speaker 4: And again, the reason that I think it came across

837
00:47:11,200 --> 00:47:16,279
Speaker 4: so authentically was because it wasn't a thing yo, like,

838
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:19,280
Speaker 4: this is it. But the Special Forces thing was important

839
00:47:19,280 --> 00:47:24,880
Speaker 4: because one we crave and I know you experienced this

840
00:47:25,000 --> 00:47:29,080
Speaker 4: as well, but I need some type of physical challenge.

841
00:47:29,120 --> 00:47:31,719
Speaker 4: It's I guess I need that. It's in my it's

842
00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:33,040
Speaker 4: in my DNA.

843
00:47:33,160 --> 00:47:38,560
Speaker 2: And and having having had to distance myself from it,

844
00:47:38,640 --> 00:47:42,360
Speaker 2: like competitively for lots of reasons, but also because of

845
00:47:42,480 --> 00:47:46,120
Speaker 2: age and injury and grade four arthritis in both knees

846
00:47:46,160 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 2: and that type of stuff, and I.

847
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:49,680
Speaker 4: Moved away from.

848
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:53,920
Speaker 2: It, but it's still ah, right, Like, the Special Forces

849
00:47:54,000 --> 00:47:56,640
Speaker 2: was a very interesting for me, and that I would

850
00:47:56,680 --> 00:48:02,960
Speaker 2: be challenged physically, I would be child emotionally and mentally,

851
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:06,280
Speaker 2: and it would give me a platform to be able

852
00:48:06,320 --> 00:48:10,200
Speaker 2: to say, yo, I'm back, this is who I am,

853
00:48:10,440 --> 00:48:11,560
Speaker 2: this is where I'm at.

854
00:48:12,080 --> 00:48:14,960
Speaker 4: And so that's what I made the decision.

855
00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 2: To do it, and it checked all of those boxes,

856
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 2: and I felt, you know, anytime you I have a

857
00:48:22,840 --> 00:48:29,319
Speaker 2: love hate relationship with the media, understanding and making the

858
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:33,920
Speaker 2: decision right. Making the decision, Ashley, though, to sign up

859
00:48:33,960 --> 00:48:37,640
Speaker 2: for a show whereby I don't have editing rights was

860
00:48:37,680 --> 00:48:40,319
Speaker 2: a scary one because at the end of the day,

861
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:43,759
Speaker 2: I don't know how they can edit however they want

862
00:48:43,840 --> 00:48:48,359
Speaker 2: to make whomever look like.

863
00:48:46,760 --> 00:48:50,640
Speaker 4: Like a god or the devil, right, And so by.

864
00:48:50,520 --> 00:48:53,560
Speaker 2: Making the decision and putting myself back out there and

865
00:48:53,600 --> 00:48:57,879
Speaker 2: making that scary choice that Okay, I'm gonna like put

866
00:48:57,920 --> 00:48:59,279
Speaker 2: it in the hands of somebody else.

867
00:48:59,320 --> 00:49:01,000
Speaker 4: I'm gonna be who I am on the show.

868
00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:03,520
Speaker 2: But ultimately, let me see, let me turn on the

869
00:49:03,560 --> 00:49:06,959
Speaker 2: TV and see whom they decide to create.

870
00:49:06,640 --> 00:49:07,000
Speaker 4: Me to be.

871
00:49:08,360 --> 00:49:11,439
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know what I was able to say

872
00:49:11,440 --> 00:49:14,160
Speaker 2: at the end of the day, good decision, Mary, because

873
00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:18,000
Speaker 2: whatever they saw in how I was on the show

874
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:21,799
Speaker 2: and how I competed and how I fought and and

875
00:49:22,760 --> 00:49:27,600
Speaker 2: was what they saw and what they made and what

876
00:49:27,640 --> 00:49:29,640
Speaker 2: they decided to portray to the world.

877
00:49:29,880 --> 00:49:31,840
Speaker 1: And you really did show that to the world. And

878
00:49:32,120 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 1: I want to say thank you. I appreciate all the

879
00:49:36,040 --> 00:49:40,759
Speaker 1: things that you show up and continue to do to

880
00:49:40,840 --> 00:49:45,319
Speaker 1: make this world better. And it really shows me that

881
00:49:45,440 --> 00:49:50,680
Speaker 1: your journey, this whole redemption thing about like erasing the past,

882
00:49:50,719 --> 00:49:51,759
Speaker 1: it's really not about that.

883
00:49:52,120 --> 00:49:54,000
Speaker 3: It's the bravery.

884
00:49:53,480 --> 00:49:55,759
Speaker 1: To rise again and to grow and to lead with

885
00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:56,839
Speaker 1: honesty and love.

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00:49:57,280 --> 00:49:59,880
Speaker 3: And a lot of people see that in you.

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00:50:00,080 --> 00:50:03,560
Speaker 1: You and you heal them in the process of the

888
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:06,880
Speaker 1: things that they're having to be honest and brave about.

889
00:50:06,960 --> 00:50:08,839
Speaker 3: So I have to say thank you.

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00:50:08,920 --> 00:50:11,520
Speaker 4: And that makes it worth it, Ashlyn, Right, it makes

891
00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:14,960
Speaker 4: our dark days or even our current dark days, it

892
00:50:15,080 --> 00:50:17,920
Speaker 4: makes it worth it when people see that, and maybe

893
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:21,799
Speaker 4: they are inspired by it, maybe they're inspired to make

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00:50:22,040 --> 00:50:24,920
Speaker 4: some type of change in their own life. Like that

895
00:50:25,080 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 4: to me makes it worth it. Like like we were

896
00:50:27,719 --> 00:50:31,000
Speaker 4: meant here, We were meant to be here to be

897
00:50:31,120 --> 00:50:34,360
Speaker 4: an example. Right, Yes, that's what we and I include

898
00:50:34,400 --> 00:50:36,880
Speaker 4: you in this, Ashley, that's what we are doing.

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00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:41,799
Speaker 1: So yeay, yep, second win, second chances. It's just it's

900
00:50:41,840 --> 00:50:45,759
Speaker 1: about courage and bravery. So thank you for for being

901
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:48,600
Speaker 1: that for us, and thanks for being on wide open

902
00:50:48,680 --> 00:50:53,920
Speaker 1: and and I'm grateful for your story and all of it.

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00:50:54,360 --> 00:50:56,239
Speaker 4: Yeah, thank you. Ashlyn, it's been, it's been.

904
00:50:56,280 --> 00:50:57,879
Speaker 3: You're the best. Thank you.

905
00:50:57,880 --> 00:51:01,160
Speaker 4: You bring me back and we can talk all of Yes, Okay.

906
00:51:00,920 --> 00:51:04,160
Speaker 3: Let's do it. Yes, let's do it. Thanks everybody for

907
00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:04,799
Speaker 3: tuning in.

908
00:51:05,080 --> 00:51:07,920
Speaker 1: Marion again, thank you for your vulnerability, Thank you for

909
00:51:07,960 --> 00:51:11,240
Speaker 1: being wide open, and please tell everyone about your podcast

910
00:51:11,320 --> 00:51:12,600
Speaker 1: and where they can check you out.

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00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:17,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, check out Second Wind anywhere. If you listen to

912
00:51:17,880 --> 00:51:21,960
Speaker 2: your podcast, Ashlan will be on the show. Yes, exited

913
00:51:22,239 --> 00:51:24,920
Speaker 2: to be able to share all the goodness that you

914
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:27,640
Speaker 2: all already that are listening know that she is, but

915
00:51:27,760 --> 00:51:28,359
Speaker 2: to be able to.

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00:51:28,320 --> 00:51:31,080
Speaker 4: Give talk to you about it, it was a pleasure.

917
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 4: So thank you, Thank.

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00:51:31,880 --> 00:51:36,960
Speaker 3: You, appreciate it. Go heels yay, go heels.

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00:51:38,719 --> 00:51:42,640
Speaker 1: Wide Open with Ashland Harris is an iHeart women's sports production.

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00:51:43,200 --> 00:51:46,960
Speaker 1: You can find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts,

921
00:51:47,080 --> 00:51:48,799
Speaker 1: or wherever you get your podcasts.

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00:51:49,080 --> 00:51:50,440
Speaker 3: Our producers are.

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Speaker 1: Carmen Borca Correo, Emily Maronov, and Lucy Jones. Production assistants

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00:51:56,640 --> 00:52:01,720
Speaker 1: from Malia Aguidello. Our executive produce users are Jesse Katz,

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00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 1: Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder. Our editors are Jenny Kaplan

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Speaker 1: and Emily Rudder and I'm your host, Ashlyn Harris,