1 00:00:01,520 --> 00:00:02,800 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Stephen Ferdick. 2 00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:05,840 Speaker 2: I'm the pastor of Elevation Church and this is our podcast. 3 00:00:05,920 --> 00:00:08,320 Speaker 2: I wanted to thank you for joining us today. Hope 4 00:00:08,320 --> 00:00:11,040 Speaker 2: this inspires you. Hope it builds your faith. Hope it 5 00:00:11,039 --> 00:00:13,560 Speaker 2: gives your perspective to see God is moving in your life. 6 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:18,119 Speaker 2: Enjoy the message. 7 00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:24,639 Speaker 3: My name is Lisa, and I can't even tell y'all 8 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:30,760 Speaker 3: how excited I am to be here, how overwhelmed I 9 00:00:30,800 --> 00:00:34,720 Speaker 3: am to be here. You are family to me, whether 10 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:40,120 Speaker 3: you claim me or not. I claim y'all. I deeply, deeply, 11 00:00:40,280 --> 00:00:45,479 Speaker 3: deeply love and respect Pastor Holly and Pastor Stephen, and 12 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:49,600 Speaker 3: I know full well you could have anybody from around 13 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:52,320 Speaker 3: the world and it would be an undeserved privilege for 14 00:00:52,360 --> 00:00:56,400 Speaker 3: them to be in this house. And so I'm always 15 00:00:56,480 --> 00:01:02,000 Speaker 3: surprised flying from Nashville to Charlotte that, yeah, I kind 16 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:03,600 Speaker 3: of feel like the girl and the math club and 17 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 3: the quarterback aster to prom it is. I mean, not 18 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:11,240 Speaker 3: that there aren't amazing girls in math clubs. My apologies 19 00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 3: if you're in the math club, but. 20 00:01:13,800 --> 00:01:16,320 Speaker 1: I just I'm always. 21 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 3: Just kind of undone that I get to be with 22 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 3: y'all because I love this house so much. Chunks and 23 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:26,679 Speaker 3: Amy Corbett. I would follow y'all off a cliff. I 24 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:30,839 Speaker 3: just think you hung the moon. And I'm feeling especially 25 00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:34,480 Speaker 3: nostalgic this week, and so I'm glad I get to 26 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:39,520 Speaker 3: be with surrogate family because my little girl, some of 27 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:41,440 Speaker 3: you I've met, and some of you know I became 28 00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:44,959 Speaker 3: a mom through the miracle of adoption, and the year 29 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:45,720 Speaker 3: I turned fifty. 30 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:47,280 Speaker 1: I don't have a baby daddy yet. 31 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 3: So if you know somebody, I'm sixty one, If you 32 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:53,279 Speaker 3: know somebody between fifty five and death, I'll go younger 33 00:01:54,240 --> 00:02:00,240 Speaker 3: who's employed and loves Jesus and doesn't live in his 34 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:01,000 Speaker 3: mother's basement. 35 00:02:01,040 --> 00:02:03,360 Speaker 1: But anyway, it's just Missy and me. 36 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:07,840 Speaker 3: And she's turned in sixteen a week from today, and 37 00:02:07,960 --> 00:02:13,280 Speaker 3: so just all those all those mama feelings have been 38 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,080 Speaker 3: well enough over the last week, and I've been talking 39 00:02:16,080 --> 00:02:19,400 Speaker 3: to her about all these memories I have from when 40 00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 3: I first brought her home from Haiti in twenty fourteen, 41 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:27,359 Speaker 3: and she had all these just precious habits, like one 42 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:31,560 Speaker 3: of them was she called me Pablo the entire time 43 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:34,079 Speaker 3: that I was adopting her from Haiti for two years, 44 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,000 Speaker 3: she called me Mama Blah White mama in Creole. 45 00:02:37,360 --> 00:02:38,919 Speaker 1: And then the day I. 46 00:02:38,880 --> 00:02:43,080 Speaker 3: Brought her to Haye, Haiti to Nashville from Haiti, she 47 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:47,080 Speaker 3: started calling me Pablo, and I thought that's just odd. 48 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:49,400 Speaker 1: She would switch to. 49 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:53,400 Speaker 3: Pablo and I'd go, no, no, baby, morialy mama, blah, 50 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:57,280 Speaker 3: my name is white mama, and she'd go, no, Pablo, 51 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,040 Speaker 3: And I thought, this is going to be just awkward 52 00:03:01,160 --> 00:03:04,240 Speaker 3: when she gets married, because if y'all don't get on 53 00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:06,400 Speaker 3: the stick and I don't have a husband, I'm going 54 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:09,240 Speaker 3: to be the one that the pastor says, who gives 55 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:14,440 Speaker 3: this woman, I'm going to go meet Pablo. And so 56 00:03:14,480 --> 00:03:16,960 Speaker 3: I kept trying to dissuade her from calling me Pablo. 57 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:20,200 Speaker 3: She was insistent for about a month until we found 58 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,680 Speaker 3: out that the very last Sunday stool Sunday school curricula 59 00:03:23,800 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 3: she had done in her orphanage, they don't make enough 60 00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:30,080 Speaker 3: curricula to print them in Creole, and so they'll borrow 61 00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:34,480 Speaker 3: from Spanish curricula because that's close enough to Creole that 62 00:03:34,520 --> 00:03:37,000 Speaker 3: the kids can usually get it. And the very last 63 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 3: little lesson she had done was on the missionary journeys 64 00:03:39,960 --> 00:03:42,920 Speaker 3: of Paul Pablo, and when she asked one of the 65 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 3: nannies at the orphanage. What does my mama blanc do, 66 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,920 Speaker 3: my white mama do? Does she sell mangos? 67 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:49,320 Speaker 1: Does she? 68 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 3: So they said, well, she's kind of like a missionary. 69 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,280 Speaker 3: She travels around and talks about Jesus. And so my 70 00:03:55,440 --> 00:04:00,000 Speaker 3: punkin conflated those two stories and decided I was apostle Paul, 71 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 3: and so I could just imagine Paul and Glory going 72 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 3: really Jesus, like, really, could we get a better doppelganger. 73 00:04:06,960 --> 00:04:08,240 Speaker 1: So that was one of her habits. 74 00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:12,920 Speaker 3: Another thing that I thought was precious that she got 75 00:04:12,960 --> 00:04:16,479 Speaker 3: confused was her last name. Because I love teasing and 76 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:19,960 Speaker 3: given nicknames, and the whole time I was adopting her, 77 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:23,200 Speaker 3: I called her Scooter mctudor, And so the first couple 78 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:26,480 Speaker 3: of times people asked her what her last name was 79 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:30,240 Speaker 3: in Nashville, she'd go Missy Maketuda. I was like, no, no, no, 80 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:34,080 Speaker 3: it's Harper, baby, It's Harper. Her last habit I told 81 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 3: her about this last week that was priceless. It was 82 00:04:38,160 --> 00:04:42,240 Speaker 3: a little alarming, but it was priceless was anytime we 83 00:04:42,560 --> 00:04:45,160 Speaker 3: came near a wall, like if we were walking next 84 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:48,360 Speaker 3: to this or a fence, if I wasn't paying attention. 85 00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:50,800 Speaker 3: Missy would run up on the wall or the fence, 86 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,839 Speaker 3: and then without any warning, she would just hurl herself 87 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,360 Speaker 3: off the water fence toward me because she just knew, 88 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,920 Speaker 3: like she knew her name, that I would catch her. 89 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,719 Speaker 3: And it was so precious and a little scary to 90 00:05:04,880 --> 00:05:10,239 Speaker 3: just have this precious little little Haitian hurling herself off 91 00:05:10,640 --> 00:05:14,960 Speaker 3: high things into my arms. She, after about maybe a month, 92 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 3: dropped that habit. I was glad it might be hard 93 00:05:18,440 --> 00:05:20,880 Speaker 3: to catch her now. But are you okay if I 94 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 3: tell the hurling story? 95 00:05:22,360 --> 00:05:24,800 Speaker 1: Okay? Will you put in your earbuds for this next 96 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:25,200 Speaker 1: little cart? 97 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 3: Hurling is still a habit in the Harper household. It's 98 00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:35,120 Speaker 3: not Missy though, it's me. I was driving her to 99 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:38,479 Speaker 3: school for the last week of school just a few 100 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:41,760 Speaker 3: weeks ago, the end of May, and we were going 101 00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:46,000 Speaker 3: over her history final, going over notes for her history final, 102 00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:48,880 Speaker 3: and we were driving to school and Missy had stayed 103 00:05:48,920 --> 00:05:51,720 Speaker 3: up most of the night studying for her finals, so 104 00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 3: she wasn't in a good mood. Do you have them 105 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:57,279 Speaker 3: in another one? And she was, I'll let you know 106 00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:59,039 Speaker 3: when you can pull them out. She did tell me 107 00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 3: I could tell this story. But she's turned sixteen, and 108 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:05,160 Speaker 3: I don't want to embarrass her unduly. When Missy, there's 109 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:08,560 Speaker 3: how many of y'all have teenage daughters, you know, there's 110 00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 3: just like three days a month that they swallow grimlins, 111 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 3: And so only like three days a month that she 112 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:19,360 Speaker 3: Missy is normally the kindest. That's how you can tell 113 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:22,880 Speaker 3: she doesn't have my DNA. She is kind, deeply kind, 114 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:26,000 Speaker 3: But three days a week, she's a bear. 115 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:28,120 Speaker 1: So she had stayed. 116 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,960 Speaker 3: Up most of the night studying for her finals, and 117 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,400 Speaker 3: then she had swallowed PMS grimlins, And so we're driving 118 00:06:33,480 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 3: to her Christian private school and she's just mad. And 119 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 3: I'm I think I'm Jesus junior. You know, I'm driving, 120 00:06:40,080 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 3: I've gotten her sausage biscuit from her favorite place. You know, 121 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:47,960 Speaker 3: I'm just very patiently going over electromagnetic fields and characteristics 122 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:50,320 Speaker 3: with her on the way to school so she'll pass 123 00:06:50,360 --> 00:06:53,880 Speaker 3: her test. And I said something, I remember what I said, 124 00:06:53,920 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 3: and Missy said something very sarcastic under her breath. 125 00:06:58,480 --> 00:06:59,719 Speaker 1: Now, I can handle j. 126 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:04,560 Speaker 3: About anything as a mama, except for disrespect. 127 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,640 Speaker 1: Disrespect it's my achilles heel. 128 00:07:08,640 --> 00:07:12,480 Speaker 3: And so I looked at this beautiful miracle child of 129 00:07:12,520 --> 00:07:16,360 Speaker 3: mine who was tired and had PMS. But I have 130 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:28,200 Speaker 3: PMS two. It's called post menopausal demonic syndrome. And my 131 00:07:28,360 --> 00:07:34,240 Speaker 3: grimlins are big and tatted. My grimlins have little tears 132 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:38,880 Speaker 3: on them, and they want to fight. And so when 133 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 3: I'm around disrespect my PMS, grimlins come out in hordes, 134 00:07:44,240 --> 00:07:47,800 Speaker 3: big angry hordes. And so I looked at Missy and 135 00:07:47,840 --> 00:07:49,920 Speaker 3: I said, what did you say? 136 00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:52,200 Speaker 1: And she said hmmmm. 137 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:57,160 Speaker 3: And I pulled the car over to the side of 138 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:03,600 Speaker 3: the road and I said, in this home, we at 139 00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:09,840 Speaker 3: least have the integrity to speak disrespect out loud. 140 00:08:10,600 --> 00:08:12,840 Speaker 1: We don't say it under our breath. 141 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:15,520 Speaker 3: So would you like to try again and say that 142 00:08:15,640 --> 00:08:16,240 Speaker 3: out loud? 143 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:17,600 Speaker 1: Any of y'all have a mama like this? 144 00:08:18,360 --> 00:08:21,240 Speaker 3: I mean, I should have been in time out myself. 145 00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:26,120 Speaker 3: But Missy, because of that three day period, she gets 146 00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 3: braver than usual. She said it out loud, and you know, 147 00:08:31,400 --> 00:08:33,680 Speaker 3: I was backed into a corner at that point. I 148 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:37,360 Speaker 3: had to do something, and so I didn't really know 149 00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:41,199 Speaker 3: what to do, and so I just snatched her biscuit and. 150 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 1: Threw it out in the window. It's her older biscuit 151 00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:45,960 Speaker 1: out the window and. 152 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:49,880 Speaker 3: Missy just went and I was like, I know, I 153 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:53,200 Speaker 3: can't believe I her old true biscuit. I was so 154 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 3: grateful that within like thirty seconds, humor and humility invaded 155 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:02,560 Speaker 3: our car, and some of my fruit of the spirit 156 00:09:02,679 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 3: came back. Patients came lipping back, my pms. Grimlins had 157 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:10,200 Speaker 3: beaten patients. But it finally crawled back in the car 158 00:09:10,240 --> 00:09:12,720 Speaker 3: and we laughed, and I gave her my breakfast biscuit 159 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:14,959 Speaker 3: so she wouldn't have a headache, dear in your history exam, 160 00:09:15,360 --> 00:09:18,400 Speaker 3: and we laughed by the time we got to school. 161 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:22,200 Speaker 3: But I was like, man, it is different raising an 162 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:25,800 Speaker 3: almost sixteen year old than it was raising a four 163 00:09:25,880 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 3: year old. 164 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 1: When she was four. 165 00:09:28,160 --> 00:09:32,480 Speaker 3: I put just I'm so sorry I scared your child, baby, 166 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 3: your mama, Your mama will not throw your biscuit. I 167 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:40,240 Speaker 3: can cross. I'm the only hurler in the house this morning. 168 00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:44,400 Speaker 3: When she was four, I put most of my attention, 169 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:50,000 Speaker 3: my affection into her, establishing roots so she would have deep, 170 00:09:50,120 --> 00:09:52,840 Speaker 3: deep roots, that she would know that she was loved, 171 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:57,320 Speaker 3: that she was affirmed, that I wasn't going anywhere that 172 00:09:57,600 --> 00:10:00,920 Speaker 3: unlike her first mama, who passed when she was a baby, 173 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:04,040 Speaker 3: I was going to do everything I could to stay here. 174 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 3: So those formative years were all about roots. Now that 175 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:11,520 Speaker 3: Missy's growing up, it's all about wings. It's all about 176 00:10:11,559 --> 00:10:16,400 Speaker 3: me learning how to get behind her and affirm her. 177 00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 1: I've given her the parameters. She knows the boundaries. 178 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 3: Now it's about giving her the grace to fly and 179 00:10:24,679 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 3: to become the woman God has created her to be. 180 00:10:28,760 --> 00:10:33,240 Speaker 3: When she was little, our intimacy was all about her 181 00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:38,760 Speaker 3: total dependency on me. Now that she's growing up, our 182 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:43,920 Speaker 3: intimacy it's no longer based on her being totally dependent 183 00:10:44,040 --> 00:10:46,439 Speaker 3: on me. As a matter of fact, the more she matures, 184 00:10:46,840 --> 00:10:51,360 Speaker 3: the less dependent she'll be on me if she's healthy. 185 00:10:51,440 --> 00:10:54,360 Speaker 3: Now hang on and listen to me, Epham, do not 186 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,480 Speaker 3: mess with your an espresso machine right now. 187 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 1: Hang on to this next truth. 188 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:03,520 Speaker 3: For human children, it's important as they grow up that 189 00:11:03,559 --> 00:11:12,040 Speaker 3: they become more independent. For children of God, it's exactly 190 00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:17,760 Speaker 3: the opposite. If you want to mature as a Christ follower, 191 00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:25,480 Speaker 3: we should be increasingly dependent on our creator, Redeemer. It's 192 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:29,960 Speaker 3: counterintuitive in this world where plopped in you want to 193 00:11:30,080 --> 00:11:35,200 Speaker 3: grow as a Christ follower, it means you become increasingly 194 00:11:35,720 --> 00:11:39,440 Speaker 3: dependent on God. You don't cut the apron strings, they 195 00:11:39,480 --> 00:11:41,240 Speaker 3: become steel cables. 196 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:42,040 Speaker 1: If you brought your. 197 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,000 Speaker 3: Bibles turned to John's Gospel, We're going to look at 198 00:11:45,360 --> 00:11:49,880 Speaker 3: John chapter five today, very very very familiar story. 199 00:11:49,960 --> 00:11:51,520 Speaker 1: You have heard this story before. 200 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,680 Speaker 3: If you grew up in a conservative church, you've seen 201 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:57,920 Speaker 3: at flannel graft. You may have taught it before. John 202 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:00,880 Speaker 3: Chapter five, verses one through nine. We're gonna look at 203 00:12:00,920 --> 00:12:04,480 Speaker 3: my favorite healing in John's gospel account. John is different 204 00:12:04,520 --> 00:12:08,000 Speaker 3: than the other three Gospels Matthew, Mark, Luke. Those are 205 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:11,320 Speaker 3: called the Synoptic Gospels. That's just a fancy seminary word. 206 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:16,079 Speaker 3: That means those three are written in a similar literary format. 207 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 3: They all have some type of a birth narrative. They 208 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 3: all have parables. Those are the stories Jesus taught. That's 209 00:12:22,559 --> 00:12:25,960 Speaker 3: half of his sermonic material. And they have a lot 210 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 3: of healings forty healings. In the Synoptic Gospels. John's Gospel 211 00:12:30,840 --> 00:12:34,439 Speaker 3: there are no parables. John is very different in the 212 00:12:34,480 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 3: way he describes the earthly ministry of Jesus Christ. 213 00:12:37,400 --> 00:12:39,600 Speaker 1: He wrote it much later in his life. 214 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,520 Speaker 3: Theologians think he was probably in his sixties when he 215 00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:43,200 Speaker 3: wrote the gospel. 216 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:46,320 Speaker 1: According to John, and he only has four healings, And. 217 00:12:46,480 --> 00:12:50,080 Speaker 3: This is my favorite of the four John Chapter five, 218 00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:54,199 Speaker 3: beginning with verse one, I'm reading from the ESV. After this, 219 00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,960 Speaker 3: there was a feast of the Jews, and Jesus went 220 00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,439 Speaker 3: up to Jerusalem. 221 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:01,400 Speaker 1: Now there is in jerus Us Islam by the sheep Gate, a. 222 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:06,600 Speaker 3: Pool in Aramaic called Bethesda, which has five roofed colonnades. 223 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:10,640 Speaker 3: In these lay a multitude of invalids, blind, lamb and paralyzed. 224 00:13:10,679 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 3: One man was there who had been an invalid for 225 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:17,719 Speaker 3: thirty eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there and 226 00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 3: knew that he had already been there a long time, 227 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:23,960 Speaker 3: he said to him, do you want to be healed? 228 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:27,320 Speaker 3: How many of y'all have heard this story before? Do 229 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,480 Speaker 3: you want to be healed? One of my closest friends 230 00:13:30,720 --> 00:13:33,320 Speaker 3: grew up really close to here in Concord, North Carolina. 231 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:36,400 Speaker 1: Her name is Eva Whittington's self one. 232 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:40,880 Speaker 3: Of the godliest, most amazing friends I have, And when 233 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:43,559 Speaker 3: she was seventeen years old, she was in a hint 234 00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:47,000 Speaker 3: and run accident on an icy road. Her car flipped 235 00:13:47,040 --> 00:13:50,520 Speaker 3: into a ravine and her spine was severed, so she 236 00:13:50,640 --> 00:13:54,319 Speaker 3: was paralyzed. When she was seventeen years old, has two 237 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:58,920 Speaker 3: steel rods to stabilize her spine. She's been pair lized 238 00:13:58,960 --> 00:14:01,800 Speaker 3: from this level since she was seventeen. She's a little 239 00:14:01,800 --> 00:14:04,480 Speaker 3: bit older than me in her early sixties, so she 240 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:09,520 Speaker 3: has not been ambulatory for over forty years. She walks 241 00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,880 Speaker 3: in faith much more stable than I do. Has the 242 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 3: most amazing life, most amazing story, has two kids, miraculously 243 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:24,040 Speaker 3: got pregnant and delivered her children, married to an amazing man, 244 00:14:24,200 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 3: a judge in Kentucky by the name of Andrew's self. 245 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:32,880 Speaker 3: That I love Eva Whittington's self, and I love being 246 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:37,440 Speaker 3: with my friend at women's conferences because every time, if 247 00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:40,040 Speaker 3: there's a ramp and I'm wheeling, even she's strong as 248 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:44,040 Speaker 3: can be, super independent, drives herself, does everything, is much 249 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:45,480 Speaker 3: more accomplished than I am. 250 00:14:45,920 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 1: But if there's a ramp, I have to help. 251 00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:51,640 Speaker 3: Wheel or wheelchair and I'll watch women and it's like, oh, 252 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:55,280 Speaker 3: college cheapers. I might as well have walked into a 253 00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 3: Kido convention with hot bread. I mean, it's just like 254 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:02,160 Speaker 3: I know somebody's going to come up and ask Eva 255 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:03,360 Speaker 3: if they can pray for her healing. 256 00:15:03,400 --> 00:15:04,400 Speaker 1: It happens every time. 257 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:10,040 Speaker 3: Now, God absolutely could heal her spine if he wanted to, 258 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:15,560 Speaker 3: but her spine was severed when she was seventeen, severed. 259 00:15:16,320 --> 00:15:21,360 Speaker 3: Medically speaking, it is impossible for her spine to come 260 00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:24,080 Speaker 3: back together again if she had had that accent. Today, 261 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,880 Speaker 3: things have changed in the way they treat those type 262 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,200 Speaker 3: of victims. There's a chance in a couple of years, 263 00:15:30,480 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 3: with what they're doing now, maybe maybe some stuff could 264 00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:36,760 Speaker 3: be regenerated, but not when Eva was injured. And of course, 265 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:41,040 Speaker 3: thousands of people, including a lot of well known saints, 266 00:15:41,120 --> 00:15:44,640 Speaker 3: have laid hands on Eva, on an auditor with oil, 267 00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:48,800 Speaker 3: and in God's merciful sovereignty, He's chosen not to heal 268 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:51,280 Speaker 3: that facet of her life. 269 00:15:51,920 --> 00:15:52,840 Speaker 1: But if you talk to. 270 00:15:52,880 --> 00:15:56,520 Speaker 3: Eva, she'll say, I don't hate this cheer. God has 271 00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:59,400 Speaker 3: used this chair to introduce me to my husband. God 272 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,360 Speaker 3: has used the chair is a canvas on which to 273 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:07,320 Speaker 3: paint what a good God he is. Her testimony includes 274 00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:09,600 Speaker 3: this part of her story. Well, we were at a 275 00:16:09,640 --> 00:16:12,040 Speaker 3: conference recently and I saw a woman and I thought 276 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,280 Speaker 3: she's going to come up and be insistent about praying 277 00:16:14,320 --> 00:16:14,760 Speaker 3: for Eva. 278 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:16,960 Speaker 1: So sure enough she comes up and she said, I 279 00:16:16,960 --> 00:16:20,160 Speaker 1: would like to pray for you, and Eva said that 280 00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:21,200 Speaker 1: would be lovely. 281 00:16:22,120 --> 00:16:25,720 Speaker 3: Now I'm holding her chair and I'm like, she said 282 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,440 Speaker 3: that would be lovely. I'd really appreciate if you would 283 00:16:28,440 --> 00:16:32,600 Speaker 3: pray for my patience because I've been really short lately 284 00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:35,560 Speaker 3: with my daughters and my husband, and I know when 285 00:16:35,600 --> 00:16:36,960 Speaker 3: we get the through of the spirit, we have all 286 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,280 Speaker 3: the fruit. But my patience is it's just a little 287 00:16:40,280 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 3: bitty green orb on my tree. And so would you 288 00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,480 Speaker 3: pray for God to give me more patience? Y'all? 289 00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:49,040 Speaker 1: This woman got so ticked because she had an agenda. 290 00:16:49,760 --> 00:16:52,600 Speaker 3: She wanted to be the hero who prayed and Eva 291 00:16:52,600 --> 00:16:55,200 Speaker 3: would stand up and walk. So when Eva said that, 292 00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:57,960 Speaker 3: I watched this woman's face and it just kind of 293 00:16:58,040 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 3: went you like she'd been sucking on lemons or her 294 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:09,400 Speaker 3: spanks were just too tight, and she went, don't you. 295 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:13,719 Speaker 1: Want to get out of that chair and walk? And 296 00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,920 Speaker 1: I was like, do you want to call nine one 297 00:17:15,960 --> 00:17:18,359 Speaker 1: one before I punch you in the threat? 298 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:24,879 Speaker 3: I'm so sure you have the arrogant audacity to ask 299 00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:28,320 Speaker 3: my friend if she wants to get out of this 300 00:17:28,480 --> 00:17:30,720 Speaker 3: chair and walk. You don't know what it was like, 301 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:34,160 Speaker 3: was she wanted to stand up and kiss Andrew when 302 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:35,840 Speaker 3: they got married. You don't know what it was like 303 00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 3: when her baby started crying and she had to transfer 304 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,679 Speaker 3: into your chair and roll down to the nursery. You 305 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,919 Speaker 3: don't know what that was like for young mamma, And 306 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:48,359 Speaker 3: yet you dare to question her. Oh I got so 307 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,879 Speaker 3: ungodly mad. I mean sorry, I'm in leather pants, have 308 00:17:51,960 --> 00:17:56,080 Speaker 3: probably squeaked really terribly. But it made me so mad 309 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,479 Speaker 3: because it was so condescending. And yet, and yet, if 310 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,760 Speaker 3: we're on it, doesn't it almost sound like that's what 311 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:07,960 Speaker 3: Jesus is asking the sky. Thirty eight years, he's been 312 00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:10,639 Speaker 3: going to the Pool of Bethesda. If you've studied the 313 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:14,080 Speaker 3: background of the story, you know that people have gone 314 00:18:14,119 --> 00:18:19,960 Speaker 3: to this particular body of water for centuries because even 315 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:25,600 Speaker 3: the Pagans believe there's something supernatural there. Something happens when 316 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:29,719 Speaker 3: the water ripples and it has healing properties in it. 317 00:18:30,160 --> 00:18:32,600 Speaker 3: The Pagans weren't sure what it was, and then the 318 00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:36,679 Speaker 3: Jews came along. They believed it was the finger of Yahweh. 319 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:40,240 Speaker 3: It's actually underground springs, but they believe there's something in 320 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:43,639 Speaker 3: that pool that could bring about physical healing. This guy's 321 00:18:43,640 --> 00:18:48,760 Speaker 3: been going there for thirty eight years, and the first 322 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,480 Speaker 3: question Jesus asked, is do you want to get well? 323 00:18:53,600 --> 00:18:58,560 Speaker 3: I mean, humanly speaking, that's almost an eye roller. Well, 324 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:06,760 Speaker 3: of course, I've been dragging myself here for thirty eight years. 325 00:19:07,400 --> 00:19:10,760 Speaker 3: And we don't actually get the poignancy of this question 326 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:15,120 Speaker 3: unless we get the sociohistorical context, because we think as 327 00:19:15,359 --> 00:19:23,840 Speaker 3: first world modern believers, this is a first century culture based. 328 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:25,280 Speaker 1: On shame and honor. 329 00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:32,160 Speaker 3: If you're a note taker, write down t z e 330 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:36,560 Speaker 3: d a k a h. 331 00:19:37,640 --> 00:19:42,600 Speaker 1: Tz ed ak ah. 332 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:46,600 Speaker 3: It's a pronounced saduka, almost like the game math game 333 00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:49,280 Speaker 3: you play in the airport, but not quite. It's a 334 00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:54,040 Speaker 3: Hebrew word. Some say sideka saduka. You can just say 335 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,760 Speaker 3: it with authority in your small group and they'll think 336 00:19:55,760 --> 00:20:02,080 Speaker 3: you're smart. It's a Hebrew word that describes alms giving, charity, 337 00:20:02,359 --> 00:20:06,200 Speaker 3: or it's even translated righteousness in some of our English Bibles. 338 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:13,359 Speaker 3: Their culture hinges on sideka when it comes to invalids, 339 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:15,359 Speaker 3: when it comes to the blind, when it comes to 340 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:19,840 Speaker 3: the lame, because in this shame and honor culture, they 341 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:25,880 Speaker 3: were taught it is honorable to beg if you are 342 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:32,200 Speaker 3: legitimately sick. So if you're blind, if you're paralyzed, as 343 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:37,240 Speaker 3: this man was it is actually honorable for. 344 00:20:37,119 --> 00:20:39,560 Speaker 1: You to beg and provide for your family. 345 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:44,520 Speaker 3: Several rabbis who are contemporaries of Jesus Christ actually taught 346 00:20:44,640 --> 00:20:48,720 Speaker 3: that begging was positive for the community because it gave 347 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:53,879 Speaker 3: the community an opportunity to be generous. It was basically 348 00:20:53,960 --> 00:21:00,439 Speaker 3: the cultural ancestor of humble brags on social media. What 349 00:21:00,680 --> 00:21:03,879 Speaker 3: better way to prove you were a good person than 350 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:07,480 Speaker 3: to drop some coins in somebody's outstretched hand in the 351 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:11,679 Speaker 3: middle of a public place. So for this man to 352 00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:16,040 Speaker 3: be able to provide for his family and it to 353 00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:21,640 Speaker 3: be considered honorable for thirty eight years, I'm not suggesting 354 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,240 Speaker 3: that he enjoyed being a paralytic. I am saying he 355 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:29,119 Speaker 3: had grown comfortable in that he's able to do that 356 00:21:29,200 --> 00:21:31,280 Speaker 3: and provide for his family. He's able to do that 357 00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:36,400 Speaker 3: and actually be honored by culture, and Jesus says, do 358 00:21:36,480 --> 00:21:38,360 Speaker 3: you want. 359 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:42,240 Speaker 1: To get well, because this is going to change everything 360 00:21:42,280 --> 00:21:46,159 Speaker 1: for you. Son. For you to get. 361 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:52,240 Speaker 3: Deeply healed is going to cause some serious discomfort in 362 00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:56,480 Speaker 3: your story. Here's an old movie called The Shawshank Redemption, 363 00:21:56,600 --> 00:21:58,600 Speaker 3: and I don't want to encourage y'all to watch it. 364 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:00,439 Speaker 3: I see a lot of you have when you were 365 00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 3: struggling in your quiet times, but those you haven't watched 366 00:22:03,880 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 3: some real questionable language in it. 367 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:06,960 Speaker 1: But there's this one scene. 368 00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:09,359 Speaker 3: It's a movie that kind of centers around a prison 369 00:22:09,840 --> 00:22:13,479 Speaker 3: and around this wise old convict played by Morgan Freeman. 370 00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:16,679 Speaker 3: There's this one scene where Morgan is sitting next to 371 00:22:16,960 --> 00:22:21,080 Speaker 3: a guy who's only recently been incarcerated for I think 372 00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:25,280 Speaker 3: he embezzled. Tim Robbins is the actor who plays them 373 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:27,879 Speaker 3: so young convict and the Morgan Freeman's sitting there and 374 00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:31,240 Speaker 3: Tim Robbins is just completely discompopulated because one of their 375 00:22:31,320 --> 00:22:35,399 Speaker 3: friends had gotten out after years of being in prison. 376 00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:39,840 Speaker 3: He had gotten out and he reoffended really quickly and 377 00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,879 Speaker 3: was brought back on conditions of parole after only being 378 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:44,439 Speaker 3: out for like a week or two, and Tim is 379 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,080 Speaker 3: just undone. 380 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:47,560 Speaker 1: He's like, what a yay? 381 00:22:47,600 --> 00:22:49,280 Speaker 3: Who I mean? 382 00:22:49,359 --> 00:22:54,399 Speaker 4: He got out, He made it out of here, and 383 00:22:54,440 --> 00:22:58,600 Speaker 4: then it seems like he almost purposely got arrested and 384 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:00,720 Speaker 4: go what info world? 385 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:05,280 Speaker 3: And Morgan Freeman is listening to him complain about why 386 00:23:05,359 --> 00:23:08,119 Speaker 3: in the world would this guy give up his hard 387 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:12,879 Speaker 3: won liberty? And he waits for a minute and he says, 388 00:23:12,920 --> 00:23:17,679 Speaker 3: you know, at first these walls, and he gestures to 389 00:23:17,760 --> 00:23:19,880 Speaker 3: those prison walls with a barber wire on top. 390 00:23:19,960 --> 00:23:23,240 Speaker 1: He said, at first these walls, you hate. 391 00:23:23,040 --> 00:23:29,560 Speaker 3: Them, and then after a while you get used to him, 392 00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:36,400 Speaker 3: and then if you're in here long enough, you realize 393 00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,359 Speaker 3: you need them. 394 00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:44,840 Speaker 1: I wonder how many of us have gotten so comfortable 395 00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:53,040 Speaker 1: being sick that we've started decorating our prison cell so 396 00:23:53,119 --> 00:23:59,520 Speaker 1: it'll feel more like a living room. How comfortable are 397 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 1: you being sick? Do you want to get completely well? 398 00:24:05,480 --> 00:24:11,560 Speaker 1: Because to be completely well it'll change everything. Do you 399 00:24:12,359 --> 00:24:14,959 Speaker 1: want to be well? 400 00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:20,760 Speaker 3: Stick a finger in Luke and head backwards to Mark's gospel, 401 00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:26,919 Speaker 3: Mark chapter two, another very familiar encounter Jesus has with 402 00:24:27,080 --> 00:24:38,720 Speaker 3: some up adeat Pharisees. He went out again beside the sea. 403 00:24:38,840 --> 00:24:41,960 Speaker 3: This is Mark chapter two, beginning in verse fifteen. And 404 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,600 Speaker 3: all the crowd was coming to him, and he was 405 00:24:45,640 --> 00:24:47,960 Speaker 3: teaching them. And as he passed by, he saw Levi, 406 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:51,240 Speaker 3: the son of Alphaeus, sitting at the tax booth, and 407 00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:52,560 Speaker 3: he said to him, follow me. 408 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:54,000 Speaker 1: And he rose and followed him. 409 00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,760 Speaker 3: And as he reclined at table in his house, many 410 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 3: tax collectors and sinners were reclining with Jesus and his disciple, 411 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:02,520 Speaker 3: For there were many who followed him, the scribes of 412 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 3: the Pharisees. When they saw that he was eating with 413 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:09,000 Speaker 3: sinners and tax collectors, said to be his disciples, they said, 414 00:25:09,040 --> 00:25:13,400 Speaker 3: why does he eat with sinners and tax collectors. When 415 00:25:13,480 --> 00:25:16,000 Speaker 3: Jesus heard it, he said to them, those who are 416 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:19,880 Speaker 3: well have no need of a physician, but those who 417 00:25:19,920 --> 00:25:25,720 Speaker 3: are sick. I came not to call the righteous, but sinners. 418 00:25:28,800 --> 00:25:36,879 Speaker 3: Underneath that question, which is irony. Underneath that question, was 419 00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:44,919 Speaker 3: what's more important to you? Healing or comfort? Okay, because 420 00:25:45,040 --> 00:25:50,679 Speaker 3: oftentimes for a mature Christ follower who recognizes neediness as 421 00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:58,199 Speaker 3: a spiritual necessity, deep healing does cause discomfort because it 422 00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:01,760 Speaker 3: means we have to acknowledge I'm sick. 423 00:26:03,320 --> 00:26:05,360 Speaker 1: I don't have it all together. 424 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:09,640 Speaker 3: I can't carry the weight of my whole life anymore. 425 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:13,160 Speaker 3: I became a christ Follower when I was five years old, 426 00:26:14,240 --> 00:26:17,080 Speaker 3: and right after I became a Christian. Right before I 427 00:26:17,119 --> 00:26:19,399 Speaker 3: became a Christian, my father had left us for another 428 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,640 Speaker 3: woman and her child. And right after I became a Christian, 429 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:25,080 Speaker 3: partly because I wanted a dad who wouldn't leave. That's 430 00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:27,800 Speaker 3: what the pastor preached on when I walked an aisle 431 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:30,280 Speaker 3: and they sang just as I am seven hundred times 432 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:33,160 Speaker 3: because you used to. They'd sing it until somebody walked forward, 433 00:26:33,200 --> 00:26:34,520 Speaker 3: and then you could finally go to lunch. 434 00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:37,879 Speaker 1: But I put my hope in Jesus. 435 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,640 Speaker 3: I was just a peanut, and I understood at a 436 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:43,399 Speaker 3: very very very basic level that I was a sinner 437 00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:45,840 Speaker 3: and God was the only one who had the deterchant 438 00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:49,520 Speaker 3: to clean my heart. I understood at a very basic 439 00:26:49,640 --> 00:26:52,600 Speaker 3: level that he was a heavenly father who doesn't abandon 440 00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:53,360 Speaker 3: his children. 441 00:26:54,200 --> 00:26:58,000 Speaker 1: That's all I understood. And after I gave. 442 00:26:57,760 --> 00:26:59,920 Speaker 3: My heart to Jesus, some men came and went from 443 00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:02,520 Speaker 3: our family who did things to. 444 00:27:02,440 --> 00:27:04,480 Speaker 1: Me that no man should do to any woman, much 445 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:05,400 Speaker 1: less a little girl. 446 00:27:06,080 --> 00:27:10,360 Speaker 3: And so from my earliest memory, I have felt dirty, 447 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:15,240 Speaker 3: And so I learned really early on I conflated a 448 00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:18,280 Speaker 3: dirty heart with being just dirty because of what had 449 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:22,120 Speaker 3: been done to me, And so I conflated those two truths, 450 00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:24,040 Speaker 3: and I just resolved, I'm just going to try to 451 00:27:24,080 --> 00:27:25,840 Speaker 3: do better and be better. I'm just gonna try to 452 00:27:25,880 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 3: be good. I'm gonna fill in all the Bible state plants. 453 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:30,919 Speaker 3: I'm gonna go to youth group. I'm gonna volunteer at 454 00:27:30,960 --> 00:27:34,320 Speaker 3: youth group. I'm gonna stack chairs, I'm to go to 455 00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 3: youth camp. I'm just gonna do everything good that I 456 00:27:36,800 --> 00:27:39,960 Speaker 3: can possibly do to make up for how bad I am, 457 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:41,560 Speaker 3: to somehow make. 458 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,120 Speaker 1: Up for how dirty I am. 459 00:27:43,680 --> 00:27:50,639 Speaker 3: So I became a class a poser, just a poser. 460 00:27:51,600 --> 00:27:56,159 Speaker 3: I love Jesus, and I believe this was true. I 461 00:27:56,160 --> 00:27:58,400 Speaker 3: didn't think this was a rule book. I really did, 462 00:27:58,400 --> 00:28:00,679 Speaker 3: at some level think it was a love story. I 463 00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:03,120 Speaker 3: just couldn't understand how God like that could really love 464 00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:03,720 Speaker 3: a girl like me. 465 00:28:04,920 --> 00:28:06,840 Speaker 1: So I just tried to do better, be better, do better, 466 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:09,280 Speaker 1: be better, do better, be better. It's exhausting. 467 00:28:10,400 --> 00:28:14,920 Speaker 3: It's so exhausting to pretend like you don't need more healing. 468 00:28:17,280 --> 00:28:20,679 Speaker 3: How often in America do we pretend like atonement is 469 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:21,959 Speaker 3: one and done. 470 00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,440 Speaker 1: I came to Christ, I got baptized. I'm good. 471 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:29,960 Speaker 3: I'm good. I'm sixty one in single. I have four 472 00:28:30,119 --> 00:28:37,120 Speaker 3: chain sauce chain sauce. I mean, that's like an obsession. 473 00:28:37,280 --> 00:28:42,000 Speaker 3: I just want to cut things up. The reason I 474 00:28:42,000 --> 00:28:44,000 Speaker 3: have four chain saws is I live out in the 475 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,200 Speaker 3: Boonies and we have five acres, and whenever we have 476 00:28:47,240 --> 00:28:54,040 Speaker 3: a storm that comes through, and these Charlatans who masquerade 477 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:56,880 Speaker 3: as tree service guys tell me it's going to be 478 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:58,920 Speaker 3: thirty five hundred dollars to cut up a tree that 479 00:28:58,960 --> 00:28:59,360 Speaker 3: fell down. 480 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:00,320 Speaker 1: I'm like you, I can. 481 00:29:00,280 --> 00:29:05,080 Speaker 3: Kiss my big two because I'm not paying you thirty 482 00:29:05,080 --> 00:29:09,920 Speaker 3: five hundred dollars. Oh cut up my tree. So I 483 00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:12,000 Speaker 3: bought a chainsaw, and then I couldn't figure out how 484 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:13,840 Speaker 3: to get the chain back on, so I'd buy another 485 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:20,400 Speaker 3: one not messed up, and so then But I am independent, baby, 486 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:23,200 Speaker 3: I mean, I grew up in an era where one 487 00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:27,320 Speaker 3: of the famous advertisements I think I had to do 488 00:29:27,360 --> 00:29:32,240 Speaker 3: with perfume, but the melody was I can bring home 489 00:29:32,320 --> 00:29:38,360 Speaker 3: the bacon done on fried up in a pan, thank. 490 00:29:38,120 --> 00:29:41,080 Speaker 1: You, and never ever let you forget you're a man. 491 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:45,160 Speaker 3: That part of miss because I'm a warm I just 492 00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:49,160 Speaker 3: believe that hook line and sinker. Because I wasn't cared 493 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:53,920 Speaker 3: for when I was young, I decided it was a 494 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,120 Speaker 3: high value in my life to learn how to take 495 00:29:56,200 --> 00:29:59,960 Speaker 3: care of myself. When I begin to hear me say 496 00:30:00,000 --> 00:30:02,640 Speaker 3: say those things to my creator redeemer, I've got it. 497 00:30:03,000 --> 00:30:07,240 Speaker 3: I'm fine, I've got it, I'm fine. I realized I'm 498 00:30:07,320 --> 00:30:11,560 Speaker 3: not as healed as I thought I was because I 499 00:30:11,600 --> 00:30:15,400 Speaker 3: can't admit I'm sick anymore. And he came for those 500 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:19,240 Speaker 3: who recognized they're sick. How well do you want to be? 501 00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:26,960 Speaker 3: Do you want to be healed or do you want 502 00:30:27,000 --> 00:30:32,240 Speaker 3: to be comfortable? Because those two are really congruent for 503 00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:39,320 Speaker 3: a Christ follower. Fifteen years ago, God mercifully kicked my 504 00:30:40,120 --> 00:30:44,680 Speaker 3: self reliant legs out from under my stool. I lost 505 00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:49,160 Speaker 3: two primary relationships, and I was diagnosed with cancer that 506 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:53,240 Speaker 3: initially presented as brain cancer. And y'all, I just lost 507 00:30:53,320 --> 00:30:57,080 Speaker 3: the capacity to be self reliant, and I was ashamed. 508 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:02,040 Speaker 3: I was so ashamed that I couldn't carry the weight 509 00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:05,000 Speaker 3: of my own life anymore. And I remember being curled 510 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:08,440 Speaker 3: up and lived by myself little cottage south of Nashville. 511 00:31:08,680 --> 00:31:11,440 Speaker 3: I remember being curled up on the floor and God 512 00:31:11,560 --> 00:31:14,640 Speaker 3: spoke to me as clear as a belle. I've never 513 00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:18,080 Speaker 3: heard an audible voice, because sometimes his voice is so loud. 514 00:31:18,440 --> 00:31:20,760 Speaker 1: Do you ever hear him when you're wrestling? Does he 515 00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,240 Speaker 1: ever whisper encouragement to you? Like you know? It's a lord? 516 00:31:23,960 --> 00:31:26,520 Speaker 1: And it's different than your dad's voice, isn't it. It's 517 00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:28,360 Speaker 1: just you know. 518 00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:31,960 Speaker 3: John says that if you put your hope in Jesus, 519 00:31:32,560 --> 00:31:36,920 Speaker 3: you recognize his voice. It's different than any other voice. 520 00:31:37,040 --> 00:31:39,880 Speaker 3: And he said, and I'm so stupid. I'm shocked he 521 00:31:39,960 --> 00:31:42,400 Speaker 3: comes back again and again and again. I can be 522 00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:46,400 Speaker 3: so slow to learn and listen. But he said, Lisa, 523 00:31:47,600 --> 00:31:51,360 Speaker 3: you've been running scared your whole life, and so I'm 524 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,680 Speaker 3: going to take you to the basement and I'm going 525 00:31:53,760 --> 00:31:57,480 Speaker 3: to sit there with you in the dark until fear 526 00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:04,520 Speaker 3: doesn't own you anymore. Great church father from the sixteen hundreds, 527 00:32:04,560 --> 00:32:08,440 Speaker 3: Saint John of the Cross, he called those seasons in 528 00:32:08,440 --> 00:32:11,280 Speaker 3: our lives when we feel like we can't carry the 529 00:32:11,320 --> 00:32:12,920 Speaker 3: weight of our own life and we feel like we're 530 00:32:12,920 --> 00:32:13,720 Speaker 3: in a dark valley. 531 00:32:13,760 --> 00:32:16,240 Speaker 1: He called that a dark night of the soul. 532 00:32:17,360 --> 00:32:21,480 Speaker 3: My dark night of the soul lasted for six months. 533 00:32:22,360 --> 00:32:25,600 Speaker 3: I was so weak I couldn't get out of bed. 534 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:30,240 Speaker 3: And I'm not being hyperbolic. I could not physically get 535 00:32:30,240 --> 00:32:31,480 Speaker 3: out of bed without. 536 00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,680 Speaker 1: Saying the name Jesus out loud. 537 00:32:34,480 --> 00:32:41,920 Speaker 3: I just speak in the quietness of my little cottage, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus. 538 00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:44,600 Speaker 3: I'd get out of bed and go to the bathroom 539 00:32:44,640 --> 00:32:47,920 Speaker 3: and I had scripture laminated next to my sink, and 540 00:32:47,960 --> 00:32:51,120 Speaker 3: I just had to speak those promises out loud to 541 00:32:51,200 --> 00:32:53,720 Speaker 3: remember them. I don't know about y'all, but sometimes my 542 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:58,240 Speaker 3: heart's a calender. I mean, I'm finishing a doctorate in seminary. 543 00:32:58,360 --> 00:33:01,800 Speaker 3: I know enough Greek and Hebrew to bedous. My poor 544 00:33:01,840 --> 00:33:07,600 Speaker 3: little crooked heart lags so far behind my head because 545 00:33:07,640 --> 00:33:11,400 Speaker 3: I spent so long staying I'm fine, I'm fine When 546 00:33:11,440 --> 00:33:17,160 Speaker 3: I wasn't. He so graciously carried me when I was weak, 547 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:21,720 Speaker 3: So gracious. I would go back to that valley again 548 00:33:22,840 --> 00:33:27,360 Speaker 3: because it's in that weak place that I learned what. 549 00:33:27,440 --> 00:33:31,760 Speaker 1: A kind, strong god he is. 550 00:33:33,120 --> 00:33:36,280 Speaker 3: That's where I learned to peel off my emotional spanks 551 00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:38,040 Speaker 3: and say, Lord. 552 00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:38,880 Speaker 1: I need you. 553 00:33:39,200 --> 00:33:46,640 Speaker 3: Oh, I need you every hour. I need you. Do 554 00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:49,840 Speaker 3: you want to get well? 555 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:53,080 Speaker 1: How well do you want to get? 556 00:33:55,480 --> 00:33:59,479 Speaker 3: Because he had to leave this place of comfort and honor, 557 00:34:00,520 --> 00:34:02,600 Speaker 3: and I bet you he thought, how am I going 558 00:34:02,680 --> 00:34:03,560 Speaker 3: to provide. 559 00:34:03,160 --> 00:34:04,280 Speaker 1: For my kids? Now? 560 00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:11,319 Speaker 3: For thirty eight years, I knew who I was. I 561 00:34:11,400 --> 00:34:16,759 Speaker 3: got pretty comfortable using my arms in my brain. If 562 00:34:16,800 --> 00:34:21,880 Speaker 3: I walk behind him, everything is changing. 563 00:34:21,960 --> 00:34:23,680 Speaker 1: I want to ask y'all. 564 00:34:23,680 --> 00:34:27,680 Speaker 3: A couple of questions if I can be so old bold. 565 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:34,239 Speaker 3: I was thinking old because I feel like I'm your nana. 566 00:34:34,520 --> 00:34:41,759 Speaker 3: Do you trust Jesus enough to become solely dependent on him? Y'all? 567 00:34:41,840 --> 00:34:43,600 Speaker 3: I have to answer these, but I want you to 568 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:48,600 Speaker 3: think about him. Is being his beloved more important to 569 00:34:48,640 --> 00:34:51,560 Speaker 3: you than being a husband, a wife, your bestie's first call, 570 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:55,560 Speaker 3: your children's parent, your company's CEO or volunteer the year? 571 00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:03,040 Speaker 3: Is Jesus a high life right in your story? Or 572 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:11,560 Speaker 3: is he the sole author? Which is more important to you? 573 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:26,120 Speaker 3: Comfort or healing. Intentional dependency is not an option for 574 00:35:26,239 --> 00:35:35,080 Speaker 3: healthy christ followers. Deep intimacy with Jesus requires conscious neediness. 575 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:40,520 Speaker 3: As soon as this fella in John five said I 576 00:35:40,760 --> 00:35:46,840 Speaker 3: can't heal myself, Jesus said, take up your mountain walk. 577 00:35:46,920 --> 00:35:48,399 Speaker 1: He didn't have to go to the water. 578 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:56,480 Speaker 3: He had to acknowledge I'm sick and I can't heal myself. 579 00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:00,000 Speaker 1: Y'all, let me tell you this from experience. 580 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:05,359 Speaker 3: Hands you can have stage four emotional cancer and come 581 00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:08,360 Speaker 3: to church and raise your hands and sing the songs. 582 00:36:08,160 --> 00:36:13,879 Speaker 1: And nobody knows you're sick because I did it. 583 00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:18,520 Speaker 3: For a long time. I did it, and the questions 584 00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:19,560 Speaker 3: in my head were. 585 00:36:19,520 --> 00:36:22,960 Speaker 1: Is this all? Is this all there is? Is this 586 00:36:23,080 --> 00:36:23,600 Speaker 1: all there is? 587 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:27,080 Speaker 3: And I knew I was posing, but I was scared 588 00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:28,719 Speaker 3: to death. One of y'all would look under the hood 589 00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:37,400 Speaker 3: of my life and say, she's sick. Yeah, apart from Jesus, 590 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,319 Speaker 3: I am the sickest one of the lot. 591 00:36:41,360 --> 00:36:43,680 Speaker 1: Apart from Jesus, I have no hope. 592 00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:48,840 Speaker 3: Apart from Jesus, I will hurl sausage biscuits every single morning. 593 00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:54,120 Speaker 3: Apart from Jesus, I can't carry the weight of my 594 00:36:54,280 --> 00:36:59,319 Speaker 3: own life. I want to be so increasingly dependent on 595 00:36:59,560 --> 00:37:04,040 Speaker 3: Jesus that I can't get out of bed without saying 596 00:37:04,080 --> 00:37:05,920 Speaker 3: his name. And you know what that does for my 597 00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:10,239 Speaker 3: relationship with you? It lets you off the hook. Then 598 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,239 Speaker 3: I can just be your friend. Then I can be 599 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:17,840 Speaker 3: your mom. But I'm not looking to you from my identity. 600 00:37:18,760 --> 00:37:21,560 Speaker 3: I'm looking to you as brothers and as sisters. But 601 00:37:21,640 --> 00:37:26,560 Speaker 3: I've taken y'all off the cross. We've got to learn 602 00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:30,720 Speaker 3: what it is to be interdependent with each other as family, 603 00:37:30,800 --> 00:37:36,279 Speaker 3: as community, and solely dependent on Jesus. Chris and the 604 00:37:36,320 --> 00:37:41,400 Speaker 3: worship team are to come back up and just usher 605 00:37:41,520 --> 00:37:44,920 Speaker 3: us into the waiting arms of God. But if I 606 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,880 Speaker 3: can be. Is it okay if I just act like 607 00:37:47,920 --> 00:37:52,040 Speaker 3: your old nana for another minute or two. The thing 608 00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:54,600 Speaker 3: I love about being sixty one is man I can 609 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,360 Speaker 3: hug like a boss. And now I hug everybody and 610 00:37:57,440 --> 00:38:00,879 Speaker 3: it's not sexual. Big old boys, little bitty girl. It's 611 00:38:01,280 --> 00:38:06,840 Speaker 3: fun to be like a gorilla hugger. I'm going to 612 00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:12,080 Speaker 3: ask y'all to stand up as a family. And again, 613 00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:16,280 Speaker 3: I know, as a as an undeserved guest in this house, 614 00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:19,520 Speaker 3: I have not earned the right to ask you such 615 00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:24,799 Speaker 3: an honest question, and so thank you forgive me the 616 00:38:24,840 --> 00:38:30,359 Speaker 3: grace to do so and bearing with me. But if 617 00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:34,919 Speaker 3: you resonated maybe a little bit with me, maybe when 618 00:38:34,960 --> 00:38:38,960 Speaker 3: you were a kid, you weren't cared for the way 619 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:43,319 Speaker 3: God designed you to be cared for, and so you 620 00:38:43,600 --> 00:38:47,800 Speaker 3: learned to take care of yourself as a survival skill. 621 00:38:48,320 --> 00:38:49,720 Speaker 1: That too, is God's gift. 622 00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:52,640 Speaker 3: It's just when we carry it into adulthood, it can 623 00:38:53,400 --> 00:38:58,279 Speaker 3: become armament that puts distance between us and others, and distance. 624 00:38:57,920 --> 00:38:59,040 Speaker 1: Between us and God. 625 00:38:59,120 --> 00:39:06,400 Speaker 3: If you consider yourself to be independent, self reliant, and 626 00:39:06,440 --> 00:39:09,400 Speaker 3: the Holy Spirit is whispering right now, you've done a 627 00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:11,560 Speaker 3: little bit too much of that with Jesus. 628 00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:16,040 Speaker 1: You've got to learn how to be needy with Jesus. 629 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:25,000 Speaker 1: Would you just sit down wherever you are. Thank you 630 00:39:25,080 --> 00:39:36,480 Speaker 1: Jesus for those of you. 631 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:43,359 Speaker 3: Who had to take care of yourselves because nobody else did. 632 00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:47,520 Speaker 3: Maybe you had a dad who left, or a mom 633 00:39:47,560 --> 00:39:51,799 Speaker 3: who didn't hug, or a spouse who hit. I'm so 634 00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:57,239 Speaker 3: sorry that that was a reality for you. As a 635 00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,480 Speaker 3: child of God. I want to remind you you don't 636 00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:04,320 Speaker 3: have to be strong with him. Your weakness he actually 637 00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:10,160 Speaker 3: transforms into strength. That doesn't mean victimhood. That means I 638 00:40:10,160 --> 00:40:12,960 Speaker 3: don't have to be scared because He's already assured the victory. 639 00:40:14,040 --> 00:40:16,239 Speaker 3: I don't have to pretend I'm something I'm not because 640 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:21,640 Speaker 3: he says I'm beautifully and wonderfully made. Perfection is overrated, 641 00:40:21,719 --> 00:40:25,359 Speaker 3: he says, come as you are and I'll clean you up. 642 00:40:26,120 --> 00:40:29,720 Speaker 3: Those of you who are standing, can I encourage you 643 00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:31,880 Speaker 3: as they lead us in worship, and then we're going 644 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:34,520 Speaker 3: to have a closing prayer. Can I encourage you to 645 00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:37,480 Speaker 3: just scoot over by one of those saints around you, 646 00:40:37,560 --> 00:40:40,200 Speaker 3: one of those brothers or sisters in the faith, and 647 00:40:40,280 --> 00:40:42,359 Speaker 3: lay hands on them. If this is your first time 648 00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:47,720 Speaker 3: at elevation that might not be in your comfort zone. 649 00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:51,840 Speaker 3: But again we're elevating heat, elevating healing over comfort. This morning, 650 00:40:52,239 --> 00:40:54,120 Speaker 3: would you just reach over and put your hand on 651 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:58,000 Speaker 3: a saint and just pray for him. Pray that even 652 00:40:58,040 --> 00:41:02,440 Speaker 3: in this moment of such beautiful honesty, they would recognize 653 00:41:02,440 --> 00:41:06,280 Speaker 3: the nearness of God, that they'd recognize that His grace 654 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:11,160 Speaker 3: really is sufficient for us, That they'd have the same 655 00:41:11,280 --> 00:41:14,920 Speaker 3: grace that this gentleman did in John's gospel when he said, I. 656 00:41:15,960 --> 00:41:19,920 Speaker 1: I can't heal myself. I need you Jesus. 657 00:41:20,040 --> 00:41:23,239 Speaker 3: That's all we have to confess, y'all. That is the 658 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:29,080 Speaker 3: gateway to intimacy with Jesus is to say I need you. 659 00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:35,359 Speaker 3: I needed you for salvation and I still need you. 660 00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:37,759 Speaker 1: Jesus. You are my breath. 661 00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:41,640 Speaker 3: I can't breathe without you. You are my hope. 662 00:41:42,320 --> 00:41:44,680 Speaker 1: I have no hope in my heart without you. You 663 00:41:44,760 --> 00:41:45,840 Speaker 1: are my peace. 664 00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:50,880 Speaker 3: Apart from you, Jesus, I have too much anxiety. I 665 00:41:51,000 --> 00:41:55,760 Speaker 3: need you. Oh, I need you. I need you every hour. 666 00:41:58,440 --> 00:42:01,000 Speaker 2: Thank you for joining us. Special thanks to those of 667 00:42:01,040 --> 00:42:04,000 Speaker 2: you who give generously to this ministry. Is because of 668 00:42:04,040 --> 00:42:06,960 Speaker 2: you that this ministry is possible. You can click the 669 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:10,720 Speaker 2: link in the description to give now or visit Elevationchurch 670 00:42:10,880 --> 00:42:14,160 Speaker 2: dot org slash podcast for more information and if you 671 00:42:14,239 --> 00:42:17,480 Speaker 2: enjoyed the podcast, you can subscribe. You can share it 672 00:42:17,520 --> 00:42:19,799 Speaker 2: with your friends. You can click the share button, take 673 00:42:19,840 --> 00:42:22,200 Speaker 2: a screenshot and share it on your social stories and 674 00:42:22,239 --> 00:42:25,080 Speaker 2: tag us at Elevation Church. Thanks again for listening. God 675 00:42:25,120 --> 00:42:30,480 Speaker 2: bless you.