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Speaker 1: Hey, lady, is doctor dim here. If you like this

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Speaker 1: fm to get started.

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Speaker 2: On this week's episode in her Space. So my cart

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Speaker 2: hit that I almost flipped over and tumbled forward, and

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Speaker 2: you can.

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Speaker 3: Laugh, okay, horror laughing. I almost tumbled.

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Speaker 2: Over and I just and this guy was walking on

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Speaker 2: the other side and he just looked at me, and

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Speaker 2: I just I just looked like, goddamn, I'm glad didn't fall,

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Speaker 2: and kind of like smiled and just like Kepvin pushing,

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Speaker 2: but I was like, Lord, thank you.

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Speaker 3: So I'm so happy in fall because I would have

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Speaker 3: been real ugly.

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Speaker 4: Welcome to her Space, a podcast dedicated to uplifting women

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Speaker 4: like you.

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Speaker 3: We're your hosts.

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Speaker 4: Doctor Dominique Broussard, a Polege professor and psychologist.

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Speaker 2: And Terry Lomax, a techy and motivational speaker. In a

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Speaker 2: world where Black women are often misrepresented and misunderstood, please

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Speaker 2: join us as we initiate authentic conversations on everything from

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Speaker 2: fibroids to fake friends and create a safe space where

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Speaker 2: black women.

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Speaker 3: Can just be.

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Speaker 4: Hey, lady, have you ever wondered how did I get here?

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Speaker 4: I'm not as good as everyone else here? What's going

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Speaker 4: to happen to me when they find out I'm not

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Speaker 4: as smart as them? If you answered yes, then chances

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Speaker 4: are you have experienced imposta phenomena or imposter syndrome. This

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Speaker 4: experience was initially coined to describe the experiences of white

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Speaker 4: women who believe their achievements were a result of happenstance,

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Speaker 4: lived in fear of being taken as a fraud, and

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Speaker 4: setting sometimes unrealistic high standards of achievement. This syndrome may

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Speaker 4: be more exacerbated in people of color, particularly black women,

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Speaker 4: who often receive societal messages.

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Speaker 3: Of not belonging or not being good enough.

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Speaker 4: That comes to us from a research article written by

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Speaker 4: doctor Kevin Copley from the University of Texas at Austin,

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Speaker 4: and that is the topic that we're going to dive

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Speaker 4: in today imposter syndrome or what is also in research

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Speaker 4: literature known as imposter phenomenon. Te are you ready to

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Speaker 4: dive in?

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Speaker 3: Let's do it. Let's do it all right? All right?

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Speaker 3: So our quote of the day.

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Speaker 4: As if our opening paragraph wasn't enough to really get

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Speaker 4: us thinking about it, We're gonna hit you even harder.

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Speaker 3: At the end of the day. Remember this.

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Speaker 4: You are here for a reason, in this job, your business,

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Speaker 4: your life. You are worthy. You are better than you

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Speaker 4: think you are. You are smarter than you think you are.

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Speaker 4: You know more than you give yourself credit for.

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Speaker 3: Remember that.

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Speaker 4: Remind yourself as often as you need to. And that

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Speaker 4: comes to us from Megan Dollar. Commina, Now, what.

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Speaker 2: A multiple down that amazing paragraph, the questions you asked,

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Speaker 2: and then the quote, so you already know what's coming next?

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Speaker 3: What does it mean to you? I need to catch

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Speaker 3: my breath from all that. Okay, Oh are you gonna

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Speaker 3: throw it back? I'm okay, Okay. I see what you

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Speaker 3: did there, and it means to you. Girl. I feel

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Speaker 3: like this is the story.

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Speaker 2: Of my life.

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Speaker 3: I never had language for it.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, as the older I get, I'm starting

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Speaker 2: to learn more, I'm starting to read more, and it's like, oh,

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Speaker 2: that's what that thing is called that I've been struggling

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Speaker 2: with all my life, right, And so for me, I

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Speaker 2: felt this from as for as long as I can remember.

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Speaker 2: I mean especially in I would say the workplace that

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Speaker 2: I'm in now, when I first started working at a

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Speaker 2: tech company in San Francisco with no tech background, in

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Speaker 2: a predominantly white space with folks that have many folks

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Speaker 2: that went to Ivy League schools, and I'm this little

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Speaker 2: black girl from Philly that went to public school. I mean,

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Speaker 2: I would be in meetings and I would be walking

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Speaker 2: through the halls at work and I'm just like, how

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Speaker 2: the fuck did I give here?

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Speaker 3: Do I deserve to be here? I feel lucky to

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Speaker 3: be here.

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Speaker 2: Maybe they just hip me because I'm black, but it's like,

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Speaker 2: really know, like you're talented, right, And it took some

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Speaker 2: time to get to that place where I could actually

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Speaker 2: believe the quote that we read earlier. But I've definitely

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Speaker 2: dealt with imposter syndrome, and I think depending on the

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Speaker 2: environment that I'm in, sometimes it comes up and I

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Speaker 2: have to figure out how to combat that.

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Speaker 3: Well, you know, it was interesting.

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Speaker 4: As I was listening to you, one of the things

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Speaker 4: that I picked up on that you said was you

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Speaker 4: described yourself as this little black girl from Philly.

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Speaker 3: Let's step back and really look.

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Speaker 4: At the adjectives that you use to describe yourself little girl.

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Speaker 4: When I hear that, when I hear little girl, to me,

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Speaker 4: that diminishes your power. And I think about how oftentimes men,

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Speaker 4: particularly white men, would never think to describe themselves in

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Speaker 4: that way.

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Speaker 3: But by you describing yourself.

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Speaker 4: In that way, what I wonder is if one that's

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Speaker 4: a way to keep you humble but then also simultaneously

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Speaker 4: not allowing you to fully see and fully embrace your womanhood. Ooh,

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Speaker 4: that's good.

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Speaker 2: So let me think about that for a second, because

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Speaker 2: a few things came up for me when you share that.

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Speaker 3: The first is that that was really good.

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Speaker 2: The first, I feel like, I don't want to couch y'all.

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Speaker 2: Y'all'm done, put the trance on in and then put

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Speaker 2: me on a couch over here. So okay, So one thing,

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Speaker 2: let me tell you. I think that one thing you

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Speaker 2: said that I never even thought about is saying because

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Speaker 2: I say that often in speeches. But there's a reason

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Speaker 2: I say in those situations. And so sometimes when I

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Speaker 2: go to speak to high school students or middle school

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Speaker 2: students or something, I say, this little black girl from

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Speaker 2: Philly went through this and that and that and here

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Speaker 2: I am today. And so in that instance, the purpose

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Speaker 2: that is to build that connection, to let them know, y'all,

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Speaker 2: if this girl who looks like you, who came from

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Speaker 2: where you came from, you might be a little black

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Speaker 2: girl from Virginia or a little black girl from you know,

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Speaker 2: New Maryland, New Orleans.

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Speaker 3: Okay, yes, New Orleans. That might be you.

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Speaker 2: And so I want you to know like I see you,

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Speaker 2: and guess what, if you're that little black girl from

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Speaker 2: that place, you can get to wherever you want to

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Speaker 2: get to. That's one part of it. But I think

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Speaker 2: there's another layer, and I.

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Speaker 3: Think there is part of me that really does.

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Speaker 2: Always want to remain always want to remain humble, and

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Speaker 2: always remember where I came from. And so I think

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Speaker 2: there's part of me that holds onto that as part

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Speaker 2: of my identity because I still really sometimes feel like

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Speaker 2: that little girl, which could be, you know, preventing me

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Speaker 2: from stepping and fall into certain areas of life.

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Speaker 3: So I'm definitely going to explore that.

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Speaker 2: I can't say right at this moment that that's what

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Speaker 2: that is, but I will explore that. But I know

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Speaker 2: that I am very intentional in saying that to young

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Speaker 2: people because of that purpose that I explained.

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Speaker 4: Right, that makes perfect sense to me, So that in

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Speaker 4: those instances when it has a specific intention, that makes sense.

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Speaker 4: But it's become kind of subconsciously ingrained, and so you

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Speaker 4: just automatically will say it as you describe yourself. And

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Speaker 4: I think that for a lot of us, we may,

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Speaker 4: particularly women, we may describe ourselves in ways that unintentionally

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Speaker 4: diminish our power. And when we're unintentionally diminishing our power,

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Speaker 4: that feeds into this feelings, the feelings of we don't

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Speaker 4: belong here, because think about it from this perspective. If

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Speaker 4: you're working at this tech company and you're walking around

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Speaker 4: and you're looking at everyone else, does a little ten

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Speaker 4: year old girl belong.

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Speaker 3: In the workplace? No, that's a good point.

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Speaker 4: And so if that's how you view yourself, then no,

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Speaker 4: you're not gonna feel like you belong. You're not gonna

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Speaker 4: feel like you're confident. And then it ends up reflecting

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Speaker 4: in your work because you're constantly questioning yourself and so

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Speaker 4: you're not putting your best foot forward.

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Speaker 3: I'm gonna so what I'm gonna do. I appreciate you

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Speaker 3: bringing that up too. So one thing I'm gonna do,

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Speaker 3: based on.

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Speaker 2: The conversation that we had right now, is when I

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Speaker 2: do use that term, because part of like that that

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Speaker 2: term is definitely a term of endearment for the one purpose,

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Speaker 2: but making sure that when I am not in that

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Speaker 2: space and I'm not on the stage talking to students,

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Speaker 2: that I'm not using that and clinging to the identity

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Speaker 2: in the workplace. And so what you've challenged me to

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Speaker 2: do right now is when I'm at work, when I'm

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Speaker 2: walking through the halls, when I'm in these spaces that

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Speaker 2: I am moving through, when I'm not around a lot

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Speaker 2: of people who look like me, because I feel like

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Speaker 2: and those spaces in particular, that's when imposter syndrome comes

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Speaker 2: up a lot. I mean, I went to Afrotech last

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Speaker 2: year and it was black excellens everywhere, and I didn't

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Speaker 2: I mean, I was so happy to be there. It

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Speaker 2: wasn't I mean, brilliant black people just everywhere, and I.

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Speaker 3: Didn't feel that at all.

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Speaker 2: And so I think it comes up for me in

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Speaker 2: spaces where I don't people don't look like me, and.

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Speaker 4: I think that's a common experience for so many of us.

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Speaker 3: Do I belong here? That's a frequent question.

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Speaker 4: Do I really belong here? And maybe I got here

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Speaker 4: by luck? I'm just the quota or right exactly they needed,

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Speaker 4: they needed a charity case, and so it happened to

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Speaker 4: be me.

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Speaker 3: Seriously, I definitely had those thoughts before.

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Speaker 4: Seriously, seriously, let's step back and let's be realistic about

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Speaker 4: out who we are. Right, realistically speaking, you would not

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Speaker 4: be at that job if you were not qualified.

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Speaker 3: Exactly.

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Speaker 4: I guarantee that, even if let's just let's just say

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Speaker 4: that you got in by chance, right, there is no

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Speaker 4: way that you would be able to keep that job

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Speaker 4: if you weren't qualified enough to be there. No way

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Speaker 4: it wouldn't happen. Your lack of skill would eventually show itself. Okay,

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Speaker 4: So when you step back and you look at it

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Speaker 4: realistically and you see that, hey, wait, hold on, let

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Speaker 4: me look at the job description. And when I look

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Speaker 4: at the job description and I see all those bullet

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Speaker 4: points that they're looking for, and I see that not

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Speaker 4: only do I meet the minimum qualifications, but I also

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Speaker 4: check off the preferred qualifications. That's visual evidence that yes,

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Speaker 4: I belong in this space.

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Speaker 2: And I think sometimes we need to do that because

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Speaker 2: I know, for me, for the longest time, I kept

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Speaker 2: this Accomplishment's Book. When I was first starting off of

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Speaker 2: my career, I would have these recommendation letters, these you know,

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Speaker 2: letters from friends or just things that validated me am

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Speaker 2: I being.

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Speaker 3: When I didn't have any like I.

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Speaker 2: Want to say, quote unquote, real accomplishments or real like

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Speaker 2: professional credentials under my belt. I used this Accomplishment's Book

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Speaker 2: to who's my confidence? When I was feeling lower, when

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Speaker 2: I was struggling with imposter syndrome, I would go to

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Speaker 2: the binder and look through it and say, okay, one,

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Speaker 2: these people say some great things about me and my

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Speaker 2: work experience, and you know what I brought to the team,

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Speaker 2: or I got this award for you know, X, Y

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Speaker 2: Z or whatever. And so I think something like that

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Speaker 2: could be a really great way to combat that if

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Speaker 2: you are struggling with that, is to kind of keep

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Speaker 2: a record of your accomplishments so that when that voice

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Speaker 2: in your head does say, oh, you're this little blink

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Speaker 2: from blank you know, whatever that might be. You can

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Speaker 2: see that you have a track record boom so right,

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Speaker 2: visual evidence of all your amazingness.

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Speaker 3: You know, I don't even know if that's a word.

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Speaker 3: I think so sound good, okay, your.

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Speaker 4: Magic, And I think, you know, and I realize as

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Speaker 4: I'm sitting here that no matter what level you get to,

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Speaker 4: there may be that experience of imposta phenomenon. I remember

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Speaker 4: I was talking with a group of college students and

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Speaker 4: you know, they were talking about their experience with imposta phenomenon.

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Speaker 4: And I have to step back and like think about

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Speaker 4: my own life. And even though like I have these

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Speaker 4: degrees and I have a good job and I'm glad,

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Speaker 4: you know, I'm happy to be where I am in

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Speaker 4: my career and know that I have like certain goals,

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Speaker 4: there still are moments where, even though I might be

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Speaker 4: perceived as the expert in the room, where I still

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Speaker 4: step back and have to ask myself like, wait, you're

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Speaker 4: the expert in the world. Hold on, like how did

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Speaker 4: that happen? And having to kind of check myself, like

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Speaker 4: in the moment, checking myself of.

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Speaker 3: Yes, yes, you are the expert in the room right now,

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Speaker 3: and that is.

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Speaker 4: Okay, you earn this, you work hard to get here,

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Speaker 4: by no means does it signal that you're perfect, or

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Speaker 4: that there aren't other people who are ahead of you,

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Speaker 4: there aren't other goals that you need to accomplish. It

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Speaker 4: just means that right now, in this moment, you are

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Speaker 4: where you're supposed to be, doing the job that you're.

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Speaker 3: Intended to do.

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Speaker 4: And so like, I have to kind of like remind

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Speaker 4: myself of those things every now and then. And so

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Speaker 4: I think I guarantee you that if we were to

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Speaker 4: like put Beyonce in here right now and like ask

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Speaker 4: her or even Oprah, have Oprah in here right now

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Speaker 4: and ask them, do you ever experience impost phenomenon? I

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Speaker 4: guarantee you they will say that every now and then

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Speaker 4: they probably do have those moments of wondering, like how

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Speaker 4: did I really get here? Do I really belong here

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Speaker 4: in this space? And you just got to remind yourself that, yes,

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Speaker 4: you do, that's where you do belong here. And I

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Speaker 4: think that there are several ways that you can or

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Speaker 4: he has several ways that you can sort of get

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Speaker 4: your mind right when you are having those thoughts. Because

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Speaker 4: I think if we were honest, a lot like most

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Speaker 4: people do have them. I remember one of my colleagues

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Speaker 4: that are presentation in our job about this, and there

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Speaker 4: was this beautiful image, so hilarious, and it was literally

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Speaker 4: like a work environment, people walking around and everybody had

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Speaker 4: this little bubble above their heads. And I hope no

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Speaker 4: one else knows that I don't know what I'm doing

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Speaker 4: right now, and it's just like we're literally all just

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Speaker 4: trying to do the best that we can.

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Speaker 2: And be gentle with yourself. Be gentle with yourself, be

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Speaker 2: gentle with others. And like you said, sometimes you got

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Speaker 2: to check yourself on the moment and say, hold up self,

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Speaker 2: you earned, you earn this, You deserve to be here,

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Speaker 2: and you know your stuff.

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Speaker 3: And guess what.

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Speaker 2: The other thing I've learned is that YO, don't take

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Speaker 2: yourself too seriously. I used to take myself very seriously

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Speaker 2: because I felt like I had something to prove, and

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Speaker 2: now I make mistakes all the time. I learned to

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Speaker 2: laugh at myself. Oh, let me tell you the story.

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Speaker 2: And this is totally not related to imposter syndrome or

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Speaker 2: what we're talking about, but it speaks to It speaks

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Speaker 2: to laughing at yourself walking down the street. Recently with

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Speaker 2: my grocery cart, right, you know, the little grocery carts

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Speaker 2: getting groceries.

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Speaker 3: I don't know what happened, but I'm walking and my cart,

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Speaker 3: you know how you have.

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Speaker 2: Those little like elevations in the cement, So my my

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Speaker 2: cart hit that. I almost flipped over and tumbled forward,

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Speaker 2: and you could laugh downool.

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Speaker 3: Okay, y'all horror laughing.

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Speaker 2: I almost tumbled over and I just and this guy

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Speaker 2: was walking on the other side, and he just looked

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Speaker 2: at me, and I just I just looked like, God, damn,

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Speaker 2: I'm glad I didn't fall, and kind of like smiled

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Speaker 2: and just like kept it pushing. But I was like, Lord,

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Speaker 2: thank you. So I'm so happy I didn't fall, because.

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Speaker 3: I would have been really ugly.

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Speaker 2: But it happens, and I laughed it off and kept

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Speaker 2: it pushing instead of like, you know, getting super pissed.

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Speaker 3: Off or oh my god, so embarrassed. I mean, it

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Speaker 3: is what it is. It happens.

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Speaker 2: So I think we can use that same lesson when

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Speaker 2: it comes to day to day.

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Speaker 3: So if you are in a situation where.

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Speaker 2: Like you're on a panel or you're doing an interview

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Speaker 2: and you make a mistake or you forget something I

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Speaker 2: mess up big words all the time, Like I like

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Speaker 2: to embrace that and let people know it's okay, doesn't

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Speaker 2: take away from who you are as a professional.

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Speaker 4: I agree, and I think that what that goes to

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Speaker 4: is one of our lessons in terms of conquering imposter

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Speaker 4: phenomenon is reframing your thinking right and so like in

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Speaker 4: those moments where like, you make a mistake and I

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Speaker 4: know that I could like this idea of laughing at yourself,

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Speaker 4: like that's something that I know I need to get

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Speaker 4: better at, or just like not taking myself so seriously

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Speaker 4: or not expecting so much of myself that like when

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Speaker 4: something little happens that it is okay to kind of

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Speaker 4: laugh at all and keep it moving. You know, acknowledge that, hey,

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Speaker 4: that was a little bit of mistake, but I didn't

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Speaker 4: use the correct english, or I didn't use the right word,

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Speaker 4: or maybe I I don't know whatever ten million mistakes

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Speaker 4: I tend to make in a day, let me just

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Speaker 4: at least laugh at it, laugh at it, and move

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Speaker 4: on to the next thing.

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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 4: One of the other tips that we have is recognizing

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Speaker 4: that what you're feeling is normal, And we kind of

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Speaker 4: touched on that a little bit of just saying that

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Speaker 4: we all will go through it at some point in life.

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Speaker 4: Because the thing is is that, particularly as black women,

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Speaker 4: we have been conditioned to know that we have to

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Speaker 4: go above and beyond all.

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Speaker 3: The time, all the time, all the time.

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Speaker 4: And we also know we also have lived experiences where

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Speaker 4: the things that we have done that we know we're

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Speaker 4: top notch were looked over and had and what was

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Speaker 4: accepted and said was some half ass shit from somebody else.

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Speaker 2: Right, and you're being real friendly with what you're saying,

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Speaker 2: but I'm reading between.

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Speaker 3: A lot, yes, okay, And so.

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Speaker 4: We have to be able to recognize that, like what

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Speaker 4: we're feeling is normal that unfortunately, you know, there are

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Speaker 4: times when we are looked over and there are times

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Speaker 4: when we may miss out on something, but it's not

360
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Speaker 4: about us, it is I can almost guarantee you that

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Speaker 4: it's not about us. And if you are concerned that

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Speaker 4: it is about you, then that's when we step back

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Speaker 4: and we are realistic about what our strengths and our

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Speaker 4: weaknesses are. So go back to that visualization that we

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Speaker 4: talked about. Look at what you know your strengths are,

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Speaker 4: write them down, Write down what your areas and weaknesses

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Speaker 4: are and figure out what you can do to address

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Speaker 4: those weaknesses, if anything at all, Because the one thing

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Speaker 4: that we often like don't pay attention to is that

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Speaker 4: some things might not be meant for us.

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Speaker 3: There may be something that.

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Speaker 4: Is a weakness for you, and that is okay. I

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Speaker 4: know for myself statistics math that is not my area

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Speaker 4: of strength.

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Speaker 3: I just can't.

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Speaker 4: Yes, I was having a conversation with a coworker and

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Speaker 4: we were trying to figure out some numbers.

378
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Speaker 3: I had to pull out my phone and pull out.

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Speaker 4: The calculator and she was able to like do the

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Speaker 4: calculations in her head real quick, and I was looking

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Speaker 4: at her like, oh, okay, but I know that that's

382
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Speaker 4: not my area. Math ain't my thing. And so you

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Speaker 4: figure out and be realistic with yourself about what your

384
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Speaker 4: weaknesses are, what your strengths.

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Speaker 2: Are, and if you need help with that, because I

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Speaker 2: know sometimes for me, I had a very hard time,

387
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Speaker 2: especially if you're hard on yourself. And I know Dom

388
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,360
Speaker 2: and I both went through this in our journey where

389
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,359
Speaker 2: we're like super hard on yourself, like compliment myself or

390
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Speaker 2: find the strength. I don't know, I may not have one,

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Speaker 2: right ask your support system. Ask the people around you, Ask.

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Speaker 3: Your your you know, your your family.

393
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Speaker 2: Your friends, Email like five or ten people or text

394
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Speaker 2: them and see what they say when you say, hey,

395
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Speaker 2: what are my strengths and areas for improvement? Oh that's

396
00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:25,359
Speaker 2: a good one, yeap, Because you know how it is

397
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Speaker 2: when we have to do it ourselves. It's like I

398
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:30,320
Speaker 2: can't think of nothing. I only got a list of weakness, says.

399
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Speaker 2: It's like, come on, now, you got some strengths over there, okay.

400
00:22:34,000 --> 00:22:38,719
Speaker 2: Systems Like I mean, I'm just just are on it tonight.

401
00:22:39,200 --> 00:22:43,160
Speaker 2: That that support system is so important because, like you said,

402
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Speaker 2: I think that's a great idea about soliciting feedback from

403
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:51,440
Speaker 2: your support system because they know you best and they

404
00:22:51,480 --> 00:22:54,120
Speaker 2: are going to be willing to give you that honest

405
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 2: feedback that you need, and they are definitely your reality checks, yes,

406
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 2: and they may see things that you may not see yourself.

407
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Speaker 2: I did want to move on to this other one

408
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Speaker 2: that I think is really important for us, and that's

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Speaker 2: going to be change the narrative.

410
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Speaker 3: What's the story that you're telling yourself?

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Speaker 2: And it kind of goes back to what you said earlier,

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Speaker 2: but I really want to like drive that home as

413
00:23:15,080 --> 00:23:17,280
Speaker 2: a point because when you think about our life right,

414
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:21,520
Speaker 2: our life, what's happening around us is really a sum

415
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:24,240
Speaker 2: total of what we're telling ourselves in our mind. So

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Speaker 2: if you're telling yourself, I can't do it, I'm not

417
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Speaker 2: worthy of love, I'm never gonna make it. I just

418
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,040
Speaker 2: it's just not going to happen. Guess what that is?

419
00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:35,720
Speaker 2: Literally the world that you are. You're putting that energy

420
00:23:35,760 --> 00:23:38,439
Speaker 2: out into the world, and that's what's coming back to you.

421
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,480
Speaker 2: So instead of that, maybe you can speak it into

422
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Speaker 2: existence even if you.

423
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Speaker 3: Don't feel it.

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Speaker 2: I feel great, I'm smart, I'm brilliant, I got this,

425
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Speaker 2: whatever it might be. I remember four years when I

426
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Speaker 2: was struggling with very little self esteem.

427
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Speaker 3: I would be in the mirror.

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Speaker 2: I would say affirmations in the morning and I would

429
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Speaker 2: say stuff to myself, and I was just like, why

430
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Speaker 2: are you lying to yourself like this? Like I would

431
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:01,119
Speaker 2: say all this positive stuff, and my girl, you do

432
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:03,000
Speaker 2: not feel that way. But I kept saying it because

433
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Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm going to manifest this in my life.

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Speaker 4: You've got to. And I think you know as you

435
00:24:07,560 --> 00:24:10,400
Speaker 4: were saying that. As soon as you started saying positive affirmations,

436
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:14,080
Speaker 4: like what immediately came up for me is if anybody

437
00:24:14,160 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 4: ever watched Being Mary Jane, and remember she had like

438
00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,400
Speaker 4: the post it and the sticky notes on her mirror,

439
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 4: and I remember at one point I did that too,

440
00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,320
Speaker 4: and I even went and got little heart shaped posted

441
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:30,040
Speaker 4: so that like they would like really represent like self

442
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:30,680
Speaker 4: love for me.

443
00:24:31,240 --> 00:24:34,760
Speaker 3: And so like I just would put all those little

444
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:35,359
Speaker 3: sticky notes.

445
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:38,400
Speaker 4: I had like at least ten different sticky notes in

446
00:24:38,480 --> 00:24:43,240
Speaker 4: my bathroom mirror, and each one had something different that

447
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:48,320
Speaker 4: was a positive about myself, and I would look at

448
00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:50,000
Speaker 4: it every time I was in the bathroom, like you

449
00:24:50,040 --> 00:24:52,960
Speaker 4: have no choice but to look up and look at it.

450
00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:57,240
Speaker 4: And like you said, like just manifesting that positive energy

451
00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:01,959
Speaker 4: and saying those things to myself over and over again

452
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:07,119
Speaker 4: really made me like really start to pay attention, like yeah, girl,

453
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,560
Speaker 4: you got it, Like these are the things that you

454
00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:16,000
Speaker 4: know you do well, and really really giving yourself that

455
00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:22,239
Speaker 4: time and that space to celebrate yourself. Right, Yes, we

456
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,760
Speaker 4: do not celebrate ourselves enough. And I think it's so

457
00:25:24,800 --> 00:25:27,960
Speaker 4: important when we reach those little milestones, take a moment

458
00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,040
Speaker 4: out of your life and celebrate you. Go get you

459
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 4: some ice cream, a hot chocolate, or a healthy I mean,

460
00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:35,320
Speaker 4: if a healthy meal is a celebration to you, I

461
00:25:35,320 --> 00:25:36,560
Speaker 4: feel like nowadays it is for me.

462
00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:38,440
Speaker 3: But it's cool healthy meal.

463
00:25:38,440 --> 00:25:41,200
Speaker 2: Go, you know, go out with friends, do something that's

464
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,120
Speaker 2: going to make you feel good, and celebrate yourself because

465
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:46,480
Speaker 2: that way, you'll motivate yourself to want to do it

466
00:25:46,520 --> 00:25:48,359
Speaker 2: again so that you can celebrate yourself again. So I

467
00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:52,240
Speaker 2: think it's really important to celebrate your progress and give

468
00:25:52,280 --> 00:25:54,600
Speaker 2: yourself the credit that you deserve because we don't do

469
00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 2: it enough.

470
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:58,640
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, And I think you know, as we are

471
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:03,840
Speaker 4: really trying to make sure that we combat this imposter phenomenon,

472
00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:12,480
Speaker 4: it really is stepping into who you are, owning who

473
00:26:12,840 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 4: you are and know that if you have a good

474
00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:25,120
Speaker 4: support system around you, if you realistically assessed your strengths

475
00:26:25,119 --> 00:26:28,760
Speaker 4: and weaknesses, you're doing action.

476
00:26:29,160 --> 00:26:31,120
Speaker 3: You are really taking.

477
00:26:30,720 --> 00:26:36,800
Speaker 4: Steps to address what your weaknesses are and you've focused

478
00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:41,720
Speaker 4: on like changing your narrative, reframing your thinking. Know that

479
00:26:41,840 --> 00:26:46,359
Speaker 4: you are on the right path. And one of my

480
00:26:46,440 --> 00:26:52,840
Speaker 4: favorite phrases, trust the process. Know that things are happening

481
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:54,960
Speaker 4: in the way that they are supposed to.

482
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:57,600
Speaker 3: So if you.

483
00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 4: Got into that college, you got that scholarship, you got

484
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:08,399
Speaker 4: that internship, you got into graduate school, you got into

485
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:14,560
Speaker 4: this amazing fellowship, you got this amazing job where you're

486
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:18,359
Speaker 4: the only person who looks like you. Know that you

487
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:24,160
Speaker 4: are where you are supposed to be because you are amazing.

488
00:27:24,880 --> 00:27:25,720
Speaker 3: You are amazing.

489
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 2: And also remember people are not out here giving out

490
00:27:28,280 --> 00:27:31,560
Speaker 2: opportunities for advancement just because.

491
00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:33,080
Speaker 3: Like you, literally you got this for a re you

492
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:33,439
Speaker 3: say it.

493
00:27:33,480 --> 00:27:36,320
Speaker 2: So always remember that like no one's out here giving

494
00:27:36,359 --> 00:27:38,480
Speaker 2: out freebies because they feel bad for you, or they're

495
00:27:38,520 --> 00:27:43,000
Speaker 2: giving out these charity cases. No, you are qualified, you

496
00:27:43,080 --> 00:27:47,680
Speaker 2: are worthy, and you better walk in that Yes, own

497
00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:48,160
Speaker 2: that shit.

498
00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:49,600
Speaker 3: Own that shit.

499
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 4: And as we wrap up, one of the things that

500
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:57,919
Speaker 4: I want to do is I want to read our

501
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:01,719
Speaker 4: quote of the day again because I really think that

502
00:28:01,800 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 4: the message in that quote we need to honor that,

503
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:09,800
Speaker 4: we need to really soak it up and take it in.

504
00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:12,760
Speaker 3: So I'm.

505
00:28:14,119 --> 00:28:18,120
Speaker 4: End us with this quote. At the end of the day,

506
00:28:18,880 --> 00:28:25,560
Speaker 4: remember this, you are here for a reason, in this job,

507
00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 4: your business, your life. You are worthy. You are better

508
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:35,240
Speaker 4: than you think you are, You are smarter than you

509
00:28:35,359 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 4: think you are.

510
00:28:36,880 --> 00:28:40,880
Speaker 3: You know more than you give yourself credit for. Remember that.

511
00:28:41,680 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 4: Remind yourself as often as you need to. Thanks for

512
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:51,200
Speaker 4: joining us today in her Space. Please note that I

513
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:56,320
Speaker 4: show may contain conversations about self health, advice, self empowerment,

514
00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:59,280
Speaker 4: and mental health, but it is by no means meant

515
00:28:59,320 --> 00:29:02,480
Speaker 4: to be a substance for an ongoing formal relationship with

516
00:29:02,560 --> 00:29:06,360
Speaker 4: a trained mental health provider. If you or someone you

517
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:09,480
Speaker 4: know is in need of mental health care, please visit

518
00:29:09,520 --> 00:29:14,440
Speaker 4: the Therapeople Black Girls Directory Psychology today or contact your

519
00:29:14,440 --> 00:29:15,440
Speaker 4: insurance provider.

520
00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 2: If you liked what you heard and want to keep

521
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:23,520
Speaker 2: the conversation going, connect with us on Facebook, Instagram, and

522
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:29,400
Speaker 2: Twitter at her Space podcast or check out our website

523
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:34,240
Speaker 2: at herspacepodcast dot com. And before we meet again, repeat

524
00:29:34,320 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 2: after me, I am not defined by where I come

525
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:42,920
Speaker 2: from or what happened to me. I get to create

526
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:45,360
Speaker 2: my own destiny.

527
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:47,920
Speaker 3: Thanks for joining us.

528
00:29:48,240 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 4: We'll see you next week, Lady