WEBVTT - Hoda Kotb 0:00:00.880 --> 0:00:04.200 I am thrilled that you're here, excited to be here? 0:00:04.640 --> 0:00:07.640 Or the distress like when's my time with many? How 0:00:07.640 --> 0:00:12.120 old are your girls now? Or and to oh my god, 0:00:12.160 --> 0:00:21.599 you're in the weeds, oh foreign to holy Molly, baby birds. 0:00:22.120 --> 0:00:24.279 I know that people feel this way about their children, 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:26.760 but my son, he is just the best person I know. 0:00:27.240 --> 0:00:31.160 I could talk to him forever. Gosh, it's funny, he's 0:00:31.200 --> 0:00:34.080 downstairs drinking kool Aid, which we just drove to the 0:00:34.120 --> 0:00:39.240 American store to gain. So Hello, I'm mini driver and 0:00:39.440 --> 0:00:43.879 welcome to many questions. I've always loved Pruces questionnaire. It 0:00:43.960 --> 0:00:46.760 was originally an eighteenth century parlor game meant to reveal 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:50.800 an individual's true nature. But with so many questions, there 0:00:50.840 --> 0:00:53.720 wasn't really an opportunity to expand on anything. So I 0:00:53.760 --> 0:00:56.959 took the format of Pruce's questionnaire and adapted What I 0:00:57.000 --> 0:00:59.640 think are seven of the most important questions you could 0:00:59.640 --> 0:01:04.080 ever ask someone. They are when and where were you happiest? 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:09.840 What is the quality you like least about yourself? What relationship, 0:01:10.080 --> 0:01:14.600 real or fictionalized, defines love for you? What question would 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:19.479 you most like answered, What person, place, or experience has 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:23.240 shaped you the most? What would be your last meal? 0:01:24.720 --> 0:01:27.280 And can you tell me something in your life that 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:31.040 has grown out of a personal disaster. The more people 0:01:31.120 --> 0:01:33.880 we ask, the more we begin to see what makes 0:01:33.959 --> 0:01:38.160 us similar and what makes us individual. I've gathered a 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:40.840 group of really remarkable people who I am honored and 0:01:40.920 --> 0:01:44.880 humbled to have had a chance to engage with. My 0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:48.520 guest today is herd a cut b who is really 0:01:48.560 --> 0:01:51.800 the most surprising and interesting person who we probably already 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:55.400 think we know. I know, I did. She's been the 0:01:55.440 --> 0:01:58.000 co anchor of The Today Show since two thousand eighteen, 0:01:58.560 --> 0:02:02.640 been a tireless advocate breast cancer awareness and surviving cancer herself, 0:02:03.240 --> 0:02:06.200 and became a mother later in her life, which gives 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:09.840 her a perspective on motherhood that I found extremely relatable 0:02:09.880 --> 0:02:16.919 and joyful. Okay, so, like you know these questions, dying 0:02:17.000 --> 0:02:20.000 to hear what your answers are, What would be your 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:23.160 last meal? I've debated this because this is a big 0:02:23.600 --> 0:02:27.280 I think I would have Joel's salmon. He barbecued salmon 0:02:27.400 --> 0:02:30.480 every Saturday, and it is the best samy. It like 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:33.360 melts in your mouth and it reminds me of us. 0:02:33.440 --> 0:02:38.440 So I would have that. I would have really crispy, crunchy, 0:02:38.520 --> 0:02:41.320 delicious French fries only because for my whole life that's 0:02:41.360 --> 0:02:44.040 been my comfort food and I would love that I 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:47.960 would have my mom's spark lava. I can close my 0:02:48.000 --> 0:02:51.720 eyes and taste it. She's eighty six and she still 0:02:51.760 --> 0:02:55.640 makes it, and it's delicious, and it reminds me of 0:02:55.720 --> 0:02:58.080 all the goodness in my mom. Reminds me of our 0:02:58.160 --> 0:03:00.680 kitchen when we were kids. And then would probably eat 0:03:00.680 --> 0:03:02.640 about three gallons of ice cream because I'm not allowed 0:03:02.680 --> 0:03:04.480 to eat ice cream because I've got a very role 0:03:05.120 --> 0:03:08.440 Oh well, that won't matter your dairy problem. Yeah, when 0:03:08.480 --> 0:03:10.520 I wondered what I want to eat at all, who knows, 0:03:10.639 --> 0:03:14.560 maybe feel terrible at the end. My club is stocking 0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:16.959 to Marry. My team is Marry, and she's outside eating 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:20.480 a sandwich. My team is my dog, and he's going 0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:23.600 to bark definitely in the stocking mirror, and she's like, 0:03:23.680 --> 0:03:27.960 I just have ice water. Are you to my stomach 0:03:28.280 --> 0:03:33.000 when I eat? Oh my god, your last meal? Eat it? Yeah. 0:03:33.080 --> 0:03:36.760 I mean I realized in asking this question that implicit 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:39.680 in the question is you know, and then you're gonna 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:43.600 die or that's it. It's out and it's like, isn't 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:45.560 that what we'd really be thinking about, like what Mary says, 0:03:45.600 --> 0:03:47.240 like I wouldn't be able to eat a thing. I 0:03:47.280 --> 0:03:50.160 would just drink water. I don't know. I think it's that. 0:03:50.520 --> 0:03:54.600 What is the food that connects you most to life, 0:03:54.640 --> 0:03:57.040 regardless of whether you're about to die or not. I 0:03:57.080 --> 0:03:59.360 love food so much. When I speak to people who 0:03:59.360 --> 0:04:02.640 are like, yeah, you know, it's fuel, I just want 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:05.920 to I just want to punch them. Really. One of 0:04:05.960 --> 0:04:08.520 my favorite desserts is a sheet cake, like a sheet 0:04:08.560 --> 0:04:11.040 birthday cake. Yeah, I just want to sit on my 0:04:11.120 --> 0:04:14.720 couch sometimes because I make them for everybody's birthday. I 0:04:14.760 --> 0:04:16.719 just want to sit on my couch when it was home. 0:04:16.800 --> 0:04:19.320 I can't beat myself when people are around with this 0:04:19.440 --> 0:04:22.679 big spoon and that sheet cake and just sit there 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:25.320 and just scoop that up like that would be one 0:04:25.320 --> 0:04:28.480 of my favorite nights. I just agree with you. There 0:04:28.600 --> 0:04:32.159 is covert food that is a category of living that 0:04:32.160 --> 0:04:34.880 doesn't get enough play. Like I like standing up in 0:04:34.920 --> 0:04:40.719 my kitchen with a sheet of mozza with really thick, 0:04:41.480 --> 0:04:46.000 delicious French salted butter and mar might and I like 0:04:46.080 --> 0:04:50.520 to stand up and listen to the radio and look 0:04:50.560 --> 0:04:53.880 out at what's happening on the street, total rear window. 0:04:53.960 --> 0:04:57.000 It with my mom, I and Matza. I've never told 0:04:57.040 --> 0:05:00.640 anybody that, Hoda, I've never admitted that, but that's what 0:05:00.720 --> 0:05:02.280 I like to do, and I like to stand up 0:05:02.279 --> 0:05:05.920 when I'm doing it. By the way, the covert eating 0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:08.640 Joel had any idea what I ate when he went 0:05:08.680 --> 0:05:13.280 out of town and be like, oh god, when the 0:05:13.360 --> 0:05:15.599 kids go to bed, if Joel's out, chirp and Chicken 0:05:15.839 --> 0:05:19.880 has a rack of ribs that has all kinds of barbecue. 0:05:20.120 --> 0:05:22.600 I literally get a roll of paper towels. I sit 0:05:22.640 --> 0:05:25.120 in front of the TV on the floor. It's gross 0:05:25.720 --> 0:05:29.159 and I just go for it and I'm like done 0:05:29.200 --> 0:05:31.720 with it. And I wanted to dispose of the evidence 0:05:31.839 --> 0:05:34.800 just in case I've done that special trash bag for 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:37.520 food that you don't want anyone to know that you ate. 0:05:37.839 --> 0:05:40.120 I was imagining that it's a full rack of ribs. 0:05:40.120 --> 0:05:43.479 It's not even a half rack. Girl. And what I 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:45.880 want to do sometimes to stop myself this is t M. 0:05:45.960 --> 0:05:48.120 I is when I eat enough of the cake and 0:05:48.120 --> 0:05:50.560 I just have to throw it away. I just have 0:05:50.680 --> 0:05:57.920 to get cascake and pour it all. Because sometimes sometimes 0:05:57.960 --> 0:06:00.680 after an hour or so, it was I could bite in. 0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:04.120 There have to ruin it so that you can't go back, 0:06:04.160 --> 0:06:07.479 because if we're sitting on top of the can, it's 0:06:07.480 --> 0:06:12.640 still okay. Every Woman, every woman I know, except the 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:16.640 one who said that food was fuel, understands that pouring 0:06:16.839 --> 0:06:18.760 on something to ruin it. Do you remember in the 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:22.039 beginning of Alma and Louise, this is great scene where 0:06:22.480 --> 0:06:26.080 Gina Davis is on the phone with her husband who's 0:06:26.120 --> 0:06:29.599 being horrible, and she just keeps going to the fridge 0:06:29.640 --> 0:06:31.200 and she takes out like a Snickers bar and she 0:06:31.240 --> 0:06:32.680 takes a bite, and she wraps up, and she puts 0:06:32.720 --> 0:06:34.040 it back in and she goes and does something else, 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:36.320 and she eats the whole thing through the whole scene. 0:06:37.080 --> 0:06:40.120 And I do that always. I pretend like I'm not 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:44.000 going to finish the chocolate bar, the cake, the buns, 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:48.440 the ice cream, the mochi, the super thin of the cake, 0:06:48.520 --> 0:06:53.719 the tiny thin that's my That's what my friend said 0:06:53.760 --> 0:06:55.880 to me. So dinner, I was like, oh, I'll just 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:58.080 have I'll just have a little tiny piece of cake, 0:06:58.120 --> 0:07:00.440 and she was low, yeah, because you're gonna the rest 0:07:00.480 --> 0:07:04.000 of the kitchen when everyone else is drinking coffee. She's right, 0:07:08.040 --> 0:07:12.360 what person, place, or experience most altered your life? I 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:15.880 mean for the better, it was my kids, and probably 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:17.800 for the worst was you know. I was said a 0:07:17.840 --> 0:07:21.560 sorority formal. I was a trying out and my brother 0:07:22.000 --> 0:07:24.880 who also went to Virginia Tech, he was another fraternity 0:07:25.160 --> 0:07:27.240 and we were having our formal or whatever. We were 0:07:27.320 --> 0:07:29.520 dancing and drinking and all the stuff, and my brother 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:31.440 runs in and I was like, oh my god. My 0:07:31.480 --> 0:07:33.920 brother always said he was going to crash trying out formals, 0:07:34.040 --> 0:07:37.240 like he gave his buddy did it? And he said 0:07:38.000 --> 0:07:42.200 come outside, and I said what he goes come outside 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:44.640 and he's talked to you, and I go now, I 0:07:44.680 --> 0:07:47.200 said that you need to tell me and he said 0:07:47.320 --> 0:07:50.160 Dad had a heart attack and he died. It was 0:07:50.200 --> 0:07:52.640 like you couldn't even compute what was going on. And 0:07:52.640 --> 0:07:56.520 I remember we got into a car and we drove 0:07:56.680 --> 0:08:00.040 to his apartment where he shared with a bunch of 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:04.640 other people, and we laid on the bed. So when 0:08:04.680 --> 0:08:07.800 I was remembering, and I played James Taylor on the 0:08:07.840 --> 0:08:13.600 turntable over and over and over and over until we 0:08:13.640 --> 0:08:16.760 went home that morning. I think, you know, losing him 0:08:16.840 --> 0:08:19.520 that young, I mean I went without my contacts. I'm 0:08:19.600 --> 0:08:22.160 legally blind. I had on headphones and I would walk 0:08:22.160 --> 0:08:25.640 around campus just obliviously for most of the year, I think, 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:28.560 and it's funny, it was the worst thing in the world, 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:33.200 But I often look around where I am now and wonder. 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:35.400 You know, you always want to add a girl from 0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:37.719 your dad, you know you always want to you did it, 0:08:38.080 --> 0:08:41.280 and throughout my career, I think there were probably a 0:08:41.280 --> 0:08:43.680 few spots where he probably would have said, well, good 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:45.880 for you, you did it, and then I would have 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:49.240 been done. But instead, when you don't have that at 0:08:49.280 --> 0:08:51.680 a girl, you're like, I guess there's more of this 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:55.160 mountain to climb. Let's see, let's see, let's see. And 0:08:55.200 --> 0:08:58.720 you may keep pushing yourself for something that isn't coming. 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:02.040 But at the end of the day, it landed me 0:09:02.080 --> 0:09:04.840 in a beautiful place. Now I have a beautiful family, 0:09:05.360 --> 0:09:07.880 and you know, all those great things happened as a 0:09:07.920 --> 0:09:11.959 result of it. So I think that event was really 0:09:12.000 --> 0:09:15.480 life changing and helped me in some ways, and it 0:09:15.679 --> 0:09:18.760 left me with unfinished business and others. Like you know, 0:09:19.320 --> 0:09:21.599 we just were super close. He was closer with my 0:09:21.640 --> 0:09:23.680 brother and my sister than me. I used to sometimes 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:25.520 sit in my car with him and we wouldn't we 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:28.760 wouldn't say anything. I was trying to think something to say, Yeah, 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:31.120 I it's so funny. I remember sitting next to my 0:09:31.200 --> 0:09:34.000 dad at the Academy Awards. It was so amazing that 0:09:34.080 --> 0:09:36.440 he was there, and my mom was there and my sister, 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:39.719 and he's holding my hand as they're reading at the 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:42.440 nominees and he leans over and he's like, darling, you're 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:47.400 not going to win. And I was like, what, wait 0:09:47.440 --> 0:09:49.679 do you He's like, yeah, no, you're not going to win. 0:09:49.800 --> 0:09:52.000 And he was squeezing my hand. He was like, it's okay, 0:09:52.160 --> 0:09:55.880 you'll win something else. And it was so funny. I 0:09:55.920 --> 0:09:58.320 swear to you. I was still chuckling when they read 0:09:58.320 --> 0:10:01.679 out kim basing his name. I was still laughing. You're 0:10:01.679 --> 0:10:04.120 just going You've got to be fucking kidding me. But 0:10:04.320 --> 0:10:06.520 it was so perfect. It was like, that was the 0:10:06.559 --> 0:10:24.400 attic girl that I needed in that moment. Oh my god, Daddy, 0:10:24.440 --> 0:10:26.560 in your life, can you tell me about something that 0:10:26.600 --> 0:10:30.120 has grown out of a personal disaster. Yes, there was 0:10:31.200 --> 0:10:35.360 a biggie. I was working here at NBC and everything 0:10:35.440 --> 0:10:39.240 was great. I worked at Dateline. I was newly married 0:10:39.720 --> 0:10:44.520 Ladi Dai Da. Life was great. I went for a 0:10:44.679 --> 0:10:47.719 routine mammogram and she felt something and she said, you 0:10:47.720 --> 0:10:51.120 should get it checked. So in this weird span of 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:55.920 a week, I found out that I needed amystectomy, and 0:10:56.120 --> 0:11:00.920 at the same time, I found out that the guy 0:11:01.559 --> 0:11:06.720 who I was married to was being unfaithful, and I 0:11:06.800 --> 0:11:11.680 literally was like, what is happening? Like what happened? I 0:11:11.720 --> 0:11:17.480 didn't understand, and I went for surgery and was horrible. 0:11:18.480 --> 0:11:23.560 So in that time afterwards, I was in covering, which 0:11:23.679 --> 0:11:26.720 was just laying around watching Law and Order and trying 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:28.800 to figure out what I was matter about the sickness 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:31.920 or the soon to be ex husband, And in the 0:11:31.920 --> 0:11:34.640 middle of all of it, I had this sort of 0:11:34.800 --> 0:11:38.720 weird epiphany which happens, I think sometimes when everything is crummy, 0:11:39.679 --> 0:11:42.199 and all of a sudden I realized like I had 0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:45.200 made it, and I got these four words that sort 0:11:45.200 --> 0:11:48.240 of came to me, and they were you can't scare me. 0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:51.199 And I learned at work they were starting a new 0:11:51.240 --> 0:11:55.240 hour of the Today Show, a fourth hour, and I 0:11:55.320 --> 0:11:58.280 did something I had never done before I've never really liked, 0:11:58.400 --> 0:12:00.000 raised my hand and said picked me for this job, 0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:02.480 because here's why I'm so good. I just worked really hard. 0:12:02.520 --> 0:12:05.400 I was like, seeing you over here, I'm the one working. Hey, 0:12:05.559 --> 0:12:07.760 if you want to promote me, I'm over here, like 0:12:07.840 --> 0:12:10.880 I was that one, not the one who strung themselves 0:12:10.920 --> 0:12:13.080 with Christmas lights and talked about how good they were. 0:12:13.800 --> 0:12:17.560 So in this moment, with that epiphany and that feeling 0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:19.800 I was having, I said, you know what, I'm gonna 0:12:19.840 --> 0:12:23.360 go ask for that effing job. And I still remember. 0:12:23.360 --> 0:12:25.360 I got me elevator of thirty rock and went to 0:12:25.400 --> 0:12:28.160 the fifty second floor, which was all the way up, 0:12:28.880 --> 0:12:31.800 and I walked into Jeff Zupper's office at the time 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:35.000 he was heading up NBC, and I said, Jeff, I 0:12:35.080 --> 0:12:39.000 had this epiphany. I got better. You can't scare me. 0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:41.760 I want this job. He was like, okay, you are 0:12:41.800 --> 0:12:44.760 who are you againt He had been through brain cancer, 0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:50.120 so he understood that feeling of unstoppability kind of. And 0:12:50.480 --> 0:12:53.240 I finished my speech. My heart was pounding. I did it. 0:12:53.400 --> 0:12:56.400 I'd never done that. People saw me as a dateline person. 0:12:56.480 --> 0:12:58.200 I was an Afghanistan and I had a couple of 0:12:58.200 --> 0:13:01.360 producers pulling for me, and I ended up getting that 0:13:01.440 --> 0:13:04.520 damn job. And I thought to myself Oh my god. 0:13:05.360 --> 0:13:07.319 If I hadn't gotten sick, I wouldn't have the guts, 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:09.000 like I wouldn't have had the courage. I wouldn't have 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:11.000 had the mojo. I wouldn't have gone up. I would 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:13.360 have never asked. I would have waited like I usually do. 0:13:13.520 --> 0:13:17.679 But instead it was urgent, like my life had margins. 0:13:18.080 --> 0:13:21.040 There was a beginning and an end, like stop wasting time. 0:13:21.120 --> 0:13:23.320 Like that hit me. It was like all of a sudden, 0:13:23.360 --> 0:13:27.880 life was urgent, and that happened. I ended up getting it, 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:30.760 and I thought, well, talk about the silver lining of 0:13:30.800 --> 0:13:34.920 a yucky, horrible, terrible couple of years turned into a 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:38.520 job that turned into another job. I mean, I can't 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:41.120 even believe I'm fifty six and I'm doing the today, 0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:44.920 Like how did that happen? Like how did it happen? 0:13:45.200 --> 0:13:48.000 I'm still stunned even now as I sit in my 0:13:48.559 --> 0:13:53.360 office wondering, like, Wow, that was weird, but I think 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:55.679 that was it. And going through the divorce and a 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:59.680 sickness and going through two things at once, it's like, 0:13:59.720 --> 0:14:02.480 you can it really pile all your sadness in one place. 0:14:02.720 --> 0:14:04.960 You've got to split it. Maybe that helps you in 0:14:05.000 --> 0:14:07.439 a weird way, like I'm mad at him. Why am 0:14:07.440 --> 0:14:09.679 I sick? You know? Then I'm like I'm feeling better. 0:14:09.720 --> 0:14:11.679 What a jump, you know, And so all of a 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:14.840 sudden you're like, oh, okay, well here I am. I 0:14:14.840 --> 0:14:19.160 think I made it through. Wow. God, I wish when 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:23.560 the really bad, hard stuff was happening that concurrent with 0:14:24.280 --> 0:14:28.840 fair and worry and fair and worry could be this 0:14:28.920 --> 0:14:31.560 idea that I know something's going to grow out of this. 0:14:32.320 --> 0:14:37.160 I know that this is not for nothing. It's funny 0:14:37.160 --> 0:14:38.840 that we can look back and we can see that, 0:14:39.360 --> 0:14:41.960 but at the time when it's happening. It was astonishes 0:14:42.040 --> 0:14:45.800 me that we can't comfort ourselves with, well, it's most 0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:50.720 likely going to happen, which is, as he said, something grows. Yes, yeah, 0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:52.440 you're right. I would have loved to have known in 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:55.760 the middle of all those days, like, don't worry, there's 0:14:55.800 --> 0:14:59.160 something coming, because then you realize, like, you're only here 0:14:59.200 --> 0:15:02.480 for a minute, So you do you that's it, that's all. 0:15:02.520 --> 0:15:05.480 You get. One right around the sun, so you can 0:15:05.600 --> 0:15:08.160 tiptoe around and make everyone feel better and do what 0:15:08.200 --> 0:15:10.680 you do, or you can speak it, say it out 0:15:10.680 --> 0:15:19.200 loud kind of thing. What relationship, real or fictionalized defines 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:22.640 love for you. I had to think about this one 0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:26.360 for a while. I have a best friend who I've 0:15:26.600 --> 0:15:29.960 known for twenty years. Her name is Karen. She met 0:15:30.000 --> 0:15:33.440 her husband in New Orleans. We we both lived there 0:15:33.440 --> 0:15:35.520 and he was a police officer. She's a reporter, and 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:40.880 it was a beautiful romance. And over the years I 0:15:41.000 --> 0:15:45.400 watched that relationship and I was always in awe that 0:15:45.520 --> 0:15:50.280 because it worked on all cylinders. It worked as a partnership, 0:15:50.680 --> 0:15:54.120 as a romantic relationship, they connected in all the ways, 0:15:54.920 --> 0:15:58.120 and I hadn't seen many relationship that worked everywhere. Usually 0:15:58.160 --> 0:16:00.640 it's like, well this is from friends, and this is 0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:03.160 for my husband. And it seemed like they had a 0:16:03.240 --> 0:16:06.640 connection that worked everywhere. And he got very very ill 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:09.680 a couple of years ago, and sadly he passed away. 0:16:10.120 --> 0:16:15.360 And it was really since his passing that I watched 0:16:15.520 --> 0:16:19.400 Karen speak about the love she has for him in 0:16:19.520 --> 0:16:23.280 this moment, and I was so struck by the depth. 0:16:23.320 --> 0:16:24.960 I knew it was deep, but I think it was 0:16:25.080 --> 0:16:31.120 watching her number one go to hospital room after hospital 0:16:31.240 --> 0:16:34.280 room for years and years, writing notes, writing notes, writing notes, 0:16:34.280 --> 0:16:36.720 talking to doctors, another doctor. I have to follow up, 0:16:36.720 --> 0:16:38.400 I have to call back why aren't they doing this? 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:42.480 What's up with the insurance? It was endless, endless. She 0:16:42.640 --> 0:16:45.960 was there. She was always there, And I flew to 0:16:46.040 --> 0:16:48.440 MD Anderson a few times just to be there with them. 0:16:48.720 --> 0:16:51.200 And I walked in and she was always determined and 0:16:51.280 --> 0:16:54.280 driven and had that look. And meantime she was flying 0:16:54.320 --> 0:16:58.520 priests in to talk to John. And she's probably like 0:16:58.680 --> 0:17:02.400 the most selfless person I've ever met, and the kindest. 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:05.119 And they have a daughter who's graduating high school, and 0:17:05.160 --> 0:17:07.920 there's a lot that's happening in that world. Yet here 0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:11.760 she is, you know, speaking about the love of her husband, 0:17:11.920 --> 0:17:14.199 and it was underscore. And two weeks ago I was 0:17:14.280 --> 0:17:18.679 asking her this question about a priest who had come 0:17:18.720 --> 0:17:21.280 to visit John when he was ill, and he was 0:17:21.280 --> 0:17:23.720 from India, and I said, whatever happened to Father Balla 0:17:23.840 --> 0:17:26.159 this priest who came and is he okay in India 0:17:26.160 --> 0:17:28.400 with everything that's going on with COVID? And she said, well, 0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:30.560 he's in a remote area. Said you know, they're building 0:17:30.560 --> 0:17:33.399 a church there, and I said, oh wow, that's terrific. 0:17:33.480 --> 0:17:35.120 Shees she said they should have to walk five miles, 0:17:35.119 --> 0:17:37.000 but now they're building one in their community. I said, 0:17:37.000 --> 0:17:39.080 how did they do that? That's great? She said, well, 0:17:39.080 --> 0:17:41.320 they just got the you know, all the equipment and 0:17:41.359 --> 0:17:43.880 things that they needed and they built it. And I said, oh, 0:17:43.880 --> 0:17:45.480 that's great. And she said, you know, some of the 0:17:45.560 --> 0:17:48.119 equipment could be expensive, but anyway, they got it. And 0:17:48.240 --> 0:17:50.679 I said how did they? How did they get all 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:52.639 that equipment and things to build a church? And she 0:17:52.880 --> 0:17:55.280 they they just got it. And I said, please tell 0:17:55.320 --> 0:17:59.159 me how they got it and she said, supplies are inexpensive, 0:17:59.160 --> 0:18:01.680 and the dollar goes a long way. And I looked 0:18:01.680 --> 0:18:05.119 at her and I said, okay, I said, did you 0:18:05.400 --> 0:18:07.719 and she doesn't ever say And then she said her 0:18:07.800 --> 0:18:10.160 husband's name is John long Quillow and she said, oh, 0:18:10.200 --> 0:18:15.480 they called it the John Renquillow Church. Oh my goodness, 0:18:15.920 --> 0:18:20.120 I thought, like the depth of first of all, her 0:18:20.200 --> 0:18:23.880 humility is beyond my comprehension. She'll never tell you she's 0:18:23.880 --> 0:18:26.359 done something good. She probably regrets that she told me 0:18:26.400 --> 0:18:29.960 that story because she doesn't like to share that she's 0:18:30.000 --> 0:18:33.240 doing something. She just does things. You know, she'll give 0:18:33.280 --> 0:18:37.360 everything away and not mention it. She selflessly and with 0:18:37.760 --> 0:18:41.680 great humility, helped this community build a church. She didn't 0:18:41.680 --> 0:18:44.760 want to mention it, and they because they loved John 0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:48.520 called it the John Lonquillo Church, because she always says 0:18:48.520 --> 0:18:50.800 he's as close to a saying that she can emagine. 0:18:51.440 --> 0:18:56.359 Do you think that devotion and selflessness others the cornerstones 0:18:56.920 --> 0:19:00.840 of love? Well, that's beautiful that you put it that way. 0:19:00.880 --> 0:19:03.840 I guess I feel like I see it personified in people, 0:19:03.840 --> 0:19:05.840 but I guess I've never broken it down. But yeah, 0:19:06.160 --> 0:19:10.840 the depth is more than a wee click, more than 0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:14.160 we have a lot in common, more than I can 0:19:14.200 --> 0:19:17.119 tell him things, you know. There's a depth there that 0:19:17.200 --> 0:19:20.439 I think is rare. I don't think everyone gets to 0:19:20.880 --> 0:19:27.480 experience that kind of relationship. And he John on Sundays, 0:19:27.480 --> 0:19:29.280 he would go off in the morning, and she said, 0:19:29.320 --> 0:19:31.040 I don't know what he's doing, probably running, you know, 0:19:31.359 --> 0:19:34.119 and etcetera, etcetera. She didn't learn until years later that 0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:36.639 he was always stopping at this older woman's house to 0:19:36.680 --> 0:19:39.600 sit with her. Her husband died and that was one 0:19:39.600 --> 0:19:41.760 of his stops in the morning. But he didn't talk 0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:44.840 about it. He just did it. And I said, well, 0:19:45.000 --> 0:19:46.920 I think John's probably a saint. You are too, I 0:19:47.040 --> 0:19:49.840 just know, But saints don't say funk, so I couldn't be. 0:19:51.160 --> 0:19:55.960 I thought, will the cool saints say fuck? But anyway, 0:19:56.400 --> 0:19:58.960 it just struck me to watch that and they have 0:19:59.040 --> 0:20:03.080 this young daughter and just I'm watching her and listen. 0:20:03.320 --> 0:20:06.840 It doesn't always shake out the way that you think 0:20:06.960 --> 0:20:12.119 it should in quotes, and it sounds like that young woman, 0:20:12.680 --> 0:20:15.800 what she has had, what she has seen of love, 0:20:15.880 --> 0:20:21.119 and what she has experienced of devotion is irreplaceable and 0:20:21.160 --> 0:20:24.320 will be with her forever. And it's not that one 0:20:24.320 --> 0:20:26.159 should ever have an either or like either you have 0:20:26.200 --> 0:20:29.080 a dad or you have this amazing example of devotion 0:20:29.119 --> 0:20:32.680 and love. But but how incredible that she does have that, 0:20:32.760 --> 0:20:35.679 and that that's his legacy. It's very hard when you 0:20:35.760 --> 0:20:38.719 lose someone to think about legacies because you really just 0:20:38.920 --> 0:20:41.000 you don't care. You're like, I don't care about the legs. 0:20:41.040 --> 0:20:43.399 I just want them here. I want them here to 0:20:43.560 --> 0:20:45.720 hug and to touch and to feel and to be 0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:49.159 with and to talk to. But the reality is, if 0:20:49.160 --> 0:20:51.760 they've played their hand and it's done, what is left 0:20:51.760 --> 0:20:57.159 behind them is really genuinely what you celebrate. Right, Yeah, 0:20:57.200 --> 0:21:13.800 that's good. Yeah, So tell me when and when were 0:21:13.800 --> 0:21:20.439 you happiest. I'm my happiest in this moment. And the 0:21:20.480 --> 0:21:24.080 reason I say that is because I've had so many 0:21:24.200 --> 0:21:28.280 beautiful moments in my life, but nothing comes close to 0:21:28.440 --> 0:21:32.919 what happened to me four years ago where Joe and 0:21:32.920 --> 0:21:36.520 I adopted Haley. And I think, when you don't think 0:21:36.520 --> 0:21:39.760 you're going to get something because you don't know why 0:21:39.840 --> 0:21:43.399 it wasn't in your cards. And I always dreamt of 0:21:43.400 --> 0:21:44.960 being a mom. I thought it was in my d 0:21:45.080 --> 0:21:48.000 n A. I had some bumps in the road, a 0:21:48.119 --> 0:21:51.160 divorce and an illness, and then you realize, We'll wait. 0:21:51.280 --> 0:21:54.240 I think the window went past me, and you almost 0:21:54.280 --> 0:21:57.240 are shocked, like what happened? How did I miss that window? 0:21:57.800 --> 0:22:01.560 So I would say out loud, all I wanted to 0:22:01.560 --> 0:22:03.320 do was be a school teacher, and I would say, so, 0:22:03.480 --> 0:22:05.000 I'm done with this job at the Today Show, I'm 0:22:05.000 --> 0:22:06.639 going to be a school teacher, because it was the 0:22:06.680 --> 0:22:10.920 closest I could get to being with kids. And I 0:22:10.960 --> 0:22:12.800 was actually thinking about, like, how do I get my 0:22:12.920 --> 0:22:14.760 education degree? I don't have that. What do I do? 0:22:14.800 --> 0:22:17.600 How do I do it? And then one day I 0:22:17.840 --> 0:22:22.040 actually watched a video and it was a child in Syria. 0:22:22.359 --> 0:22:25.359 The place had been bombed and he had soot on 0:22:25.440 --> 0:22:28.359 his face, and I just I was struggling with it. 0:22:28.400 --> 0:22:29.800 And I looked at that kid and I said, oh 0:22:29.800 --> 0:22:32.200 my god, what I wouldn't do to be the mother 0:22:32.280 --> 0:22:35.800 to that child. And that was like the final sign. 0:22:35.840 --> 0:22:38.120 There were so many signs before, but I think that 0:22:38.200 --> 0:22:40.480 was the sign. And I said, if God tells you something, 0:22:40.520 --> 0:22:43.720