Speaker 1: Please be advised the following episode contains references to violence
Speaker 1: and may not be suitable for all listeners. This is
Speaker 1: Vets you Should Know, a podcast from My Heart Radio
Speaker 1: celebrating the many who have selflessly put their lives on
Speaker 1: the line to serve their country and the armed forces.
Speaker 1: Every Veterans Day, we as a country honor and commemorate
Speaker 1: the people who fight for our freedom and defend our country.
Speaker 1: And in this four part series, you'll hear from these
Speaker 1: individuals as they share their unique experiences in the military
Speaker 1: and the lessons they learned that carried them into their
Speaker 1: new roles in civilian life. In this episode, I'm talking
Speaker 1: to retired Staff Sergeant Patrick Nelson of the Army National Guard.
Speaker 1: At first, Patrick decided to attend boot camp to escape
Speaker 1: a difficult home life, but a few years later, he
Speaker 1: dropped out of a community college two days after nine
Speaker 1: eleven and went active duty with the National Guard. Patrick
Speaker 1: eventually retired from the Army and transitioned out of active
Speaker 1: duty to He speaks to groups across the country, sharing
Speaker 1: stories of a service and telling audiences about the inspiring
Speaker 1: men and women he served with whom we lost overseas.
Speaker 1: Hey Patrick, how are you Hey, I'm good, Bobby. How
Speaker 1: are you doing? Pretty good? Good to talk to you.
Speaker 1: Where are you live right now? Where are you? I
Speaker 1: am in Elk River, Minnesota, which is just a suburb
Speaker 1: of the Minneapolis St. Paul area. So is it freezing
Speaker 1: cold up there right now or almost getting in? No,
Speaker 1: it's it's pretty cold. We're expected to get five to
Speaker 1: seven inches of snow today, so we're in the middle
Speaker 1: of it right now. Fall has passed upy and we've
Speaker 1: shifted into winter. I am not lying to you here,
Speaker 1: I'm looking because I'm in Nashville right now and it
Speaker 1: is seventy eight degrees right now. It could not be nice. Nice.
Speaker 1: So you enlisted in the military in what year? Well?
Speaker 1: I first enlisted in the Minnesota Army National Guard in
Speaker 1: February of two thousand, while I was a junior in
Speaker 1: high school. Well, why, as a junior in high school
Speaker 1: did you feel that it was the right time for
Speaker 1: you to get involved. Well, Bobby, I didn't have the
Speaker 1: greatest childhood growing up. It certainly could have been worse.
Speaker 1: But I heard a bunch of guys from my high
Speaker 1: school we're joining, and they said they're gonna send us
Speaker 1: down to Oklahoma for Basic training for the entire summer,
Speaker 1: and I was like, what I want to get out
Speaker 1: of here? Count me in And I signed up, really
Speaker 1: not knowing what to expect, but just wanting to take
Speaker 1: a break from the situation back home. You went to
Speaker 1: Oklahoma for basic first, right, and what was that experience
Speaker 1: like for you? That's correct, it was, yeah, Basic Training
Speaker 1: Fort Sill, Oklahoma. It was interesting. I think it's everything
Speaker 1: that you would think it would be. I had a
Speaker 1: fun time because I was there with a bunch of
Speaker 1: buddies from high school, so I think that probably made
Speaker 1: it a lot easier and I got to do some
Speaker 1: things that I've never on before, similar to your story.
Speaker 1: You know, I had a very rough childhood growing up.
Speaker 1: You know, my mom was an addict. I never knew.
Speaker 1: My dad kind of had to figure out situations, and
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's wild how we have to find
Speaker 1: other places to go to get a feeling of um, involvement,
Speaker 1: sometimes love, sometimes the feeling of just accomplishment. And mine
Speaker 1: was you know, church and performing, you know for me.
Speaker 1: And it's awesome that yours was the military. And so
Speaker 1: you're a junior in high school, you're you're going through
Speaker 1: basic When did you go this is gonna be something
Speaker 1: I know I'm going to do for a long time. Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: so you know, I got back in, you know, started
Speaker 1: my senior year of high school, had zero direction with
Speaker 1: what I was going to do in life. I didn't
Speaker 1: have the family support that said, here, you should, you know,
Speaker 1: visit these colleges. Here, let me help you fill out
Speaker 1: these forms and applications. It was basically just me navigating
Speaker 1: things on my own. And after I graduated high school
Speaker 1: and I barely graduated again, there's a lot of similarity
Speaker 1: between our stories because you know, I saw drugs in
Speaker 1: the house, my mother arrested. I did not know my
Speaker 1: biological father growing up. I didn't meet him till three
Speaker 1: years ago, which is an even more interesting story, and
Speaker 1: he's a wonderful man. But yeah, I had no idea
Speaker 1: what I said to do. I had to go back
Speaker 1: to Oklahoma again for my advanced training, and then I
Speaker 1: came back and I enrolled in a community college in
Speaker 1: west central Minnesota, and three weeks into my first semester,
Speaker 1: I was skipping classes already. It's you know, safe to
Speaker 1: say that I wasn't going to find a lot of
Speaker 1: success in college, but then that Tuesday in September, all
Speaker 1: of our lives changed. And as I watched on TV,
Speaker 1: just like everybody else, I felt those same feelings of helplessness, sorrow, anger,
Speaker 1: And two days after the attacks, I went and visited
Speaker 1: the recruiter's office and asked to go active duty Army.
Speaker 1: I knew that the military was going to be doing
Speaker 1: something in response to this, and I knew that the
Speaker 1: active duty obviously would be the ones going first, and
Speaker 1: driven by all those patriotic feelings and emotions, I wanted
Speaker 1: to be. I wanted to be part of it. You know,
Speaker 1: when looking at you getting in January two thousand two,
Speaker 1: and you talk about nine eleven and and just listening
Speaker 1: to how as a student you weren't as disciplined as
Speaker 1: you would like to be. Why do you think you
Speaker 1: felt like you wanted to get into what is probably
Speaker 1: the most disciplined area you can go into, which is
Speaker 1: the military. Why did you feel like that was right
Speaker 1: for you? Yeah, that's a great question. I think a
Speaker 1: lot of it boiled down to growing up. I feel
Speaker 1: like I had a lot of self awareness. I understood
Speaker 1: my lot in life, how people viewed me, but at
Speaker 1: the same time, I also had friends who had very
Speaker 1: you know, what i'd call normal families and normal family experiences,
Speaker 1: and I really craved that and wanted at and would
Speaker 1: try to surround myself with those type of people. So
Speaker 1: I learned at a very early age the importance of
Speaker 1: surrounding yourself with the right people, and I knew that
Speaker 1: I would get that in the military. So you specialized
Speaker 1: as a filled artillery cannon crew member, you gotta help me.
Speaker 1: What does that job entail? That job entails shooting a
Speaker 1: how it's sir cannon, And so specifically I was on
Speaker 1: a one oh five millimeter how it's sir cannon. So
Speaker 1: I was a paratrooper, and so it's something that can
Speaker 1: be parachuted out of the back of an airplane, that
Speaker 1: can be sling loaded underneath a helicopter. So it's a
Speaker 1: very agile artillery piece where we can kind of shoot
Speaker 1: and move and get the job done. So from when
Speaker 1: you first start training until you're actually active with what
Speaker 1: what is that training process? That sounds extremely intense? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's pretty intense. You know, in basic training and
Speaker 1: and your advanced individual training, it's really just sort of
Speaker 1: introducing you to the military, because you really don't learn
Speaker 1: the most until you're at your unit. And so when
Speaker 1: I finally was able to get active duty in January
Speaker 1: two thou two, I first got sent to this unit
Speaker 1: in Germany, which was a rocket brigade, so they fired rockets.
Speaker 1: I was used to shooting cannons, and so they gave
Speaker 1: me the position of the colonel's driver. Now I didn't
Speaker 1: drop out of college after nine eleven to drive the
Speaker 1: colonel and make sure his coffee was hot. I happened
Speaker 1: to be at a training exercise one day we were
Speaker 1: in Germany, and I saw these guys parachuting out of
Speaker 1: the back of helicopters and I pointed up to my
Speaker 1: first stargeant to a standing next to me. I said,
Speaker 1: that's the stuff that I want to do, and he
Speaker 1: had the right connections. With the help of a lot
Speaker 1: of paperwork, I got reassigned down to the one seventy
Speaker 1: three Airborne Brigade based out of Vicenza, Italy. So you're
Speaker 1: a guy that grows up in a alltown in Minnesota,
Speaker 1: You're in Oklahoma doing basic and all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: you're all around the world. You're in Germany, you're in Italy.
Speaker 1: What's a I mean, that's got to be a bit
Speaker 1: of a culture shock to you. Huh, Absolutely huge culture shock,
Speaker 1: but such an amazing opportunity for myself just to have
Speaker 1: that exposure and just I mean even in the military alone,
Speaker 1: even if I would have been stationed in the States,
Speaker 1: it's a blender full of people. And it was just
Speaker 1: such a pleasure and joy to be able to to
Speaker 1: serve with such a diverse group. But as fulfilling as
Speaker 1: the experience was, Patrick faced major adversity while deployed. In
Speaker 1: two thousand five, he was stationed at a forward operating
Speaker 1: base along the Pakistani border, serving as fire support for
Speaker 1: a special forces team. It was here alongside the Pakistani
Speaker 1: border that everything changed in an instant for Patrick. It
Speaker 1: was June, which meant fighting season was starting to pick up.
Speaker 1: Things were starting to get pretty busy, so we needed
Speaker 1: some more ammunition, and I went over to help that
Speaker 1: other section that day because they had a sergeant leaving
Speaker 1: on R and R, so I was gonna basically backfill
Speaker 1: his position while he was gone. And so as I
Speaker 1: heard the sound of the Chinook helicopter approaching, I hopped
Speaker 1: in a humpy with my good friend Luke. And then
Speaker 1: just as we're about to pull away to drive out
Speaker 1: to the landing zone, my soldier popped in the back.
Speaker 1: Now he was supposed to be back with our section.
Speaker 1: So I turned around and I has a buddy yelled
Speaker 1: at him, but I thought, for a second, you know
Speaker 1: what I value that kind of work ethic. He wants
Speaker 1: to come lift some heavy boxes in this heat out here,
Speaker 1: that's great. Our section can no problem handle the job
Speaker 1: without the both of us. But then I realized he
Speaker 1: didn't have his helmet on, and Bobby I literally opened
Speaker 1: my mouth, but then I realized I didn't have mine
Speaker 1: on either, and it's kind of hard for me to
Speaker 1: say something if I'm not doing the right thing. So
Speaker 1: we got out to the landing zone. The Chinook landed,
Speaker 1: and a group of ten of us step to the
Speaker 1: side of the aircraft so they could take the machine
Speaker 1: gun off the back ramp. My platoon sergeant he handed
Speaker 1: me a piece of paper with some serial numbers items
Speaker 1: we're expecting. The rotor blades are turning, it's kicking up dust.
Speaker 1: You can't hear anybody talk. And I grabbed the piece
Speaker 1: of paper and I turned around to ground guide, my
Speaker 1: buddy Luke, and the hump vy to gi M a
Speaker 1: little bit closer to the back of the helicopter, so
Speaker 1: it's a little shorter distance to load the ammunition. And
Speaker 1: the next thing I remember, I'm just picked up and
Speaker 1: I'm slammed to the ground, unsure what happened. I look
Speaker 1: up and you know, I see bodies laying everywhere. I
Speaker 1: see blood, and I initially thought maybe one of the
Speaker 1: engines on the helicopter had had possibly exploded. The helicopter
Speaker 1: powered down, and then I heard that distinct sound of
Speaker 1: an incoming one oh seven millimeter rocket and I got
Speaker 1: up in a dove underneath the humpy for cover as
Speaker 1: more raw gets impacted around us, And as soon as
Speaker 1: the barrage ended, I crawled out from underneath and I
Speaker 1: started running back to the soldiers that were still on
Speaker 1: the ground, really unsure of what I was going to find.
Speaker 1: And as I was running, a marine that was on
Speaker 1: our base training Afghan National Army soldiers had yelled me
Speaker 1: that I've been hit, and up until that point and
Speaker 1: it felt any pain, but I turned my head and
Speaker 1: looked at the back of my uniform and it was
Speaker 1: shredded and blood was point out, and it was at
Speaker 1: that moment the pain really hit me. So they brought
Speaker 1: us to the small Afghan clinic that was within our
Speaker 1: forward operating base and was ran by an Afghan doctor,
Speaker 1: and so it was a mass casualty situation, and my
Speaker 1: wounds were very minor compared to everybody else. I took
Speaker 1: some shrapnel to the back, nothing too serious, had a
Speaker 1: piece still sticking out of me. One of the Special
Speaker 1: Forces guys came by with his little leatherman tool, whipped
Speaker 1: out his players and pulled it out. That was pretty interesting.
Speaker 1: And I got bandaged up, and I started looking around
Speaker 1: and see who else was hurt. And I saw a
Speaker 1: supply sergeant that was recently attached to us from a
Speaker 1: National Guard unit out of Massachusetts, and he's laying on
Speaker 1: this elevated stretcher, and the local Afghan doctor, who it's
Speaker 1: like five ft two inches, is standing on this red
Speaker 1: melt crate performing CPR. So I kind of do a
Speaker 1: quick lap around the clinic trying to see who else
Speaker 1: has hurt, how bad, and I come back around it.
Speaker 1: It couldn't have been more than forty five seconds, and
Speaker 1: they're zipping Michael up into a body bag, and I
Speaker 1: find my way into a small room in the back
Speaker 1: of the clinic there, and that's where I see my soldier,
Speaker 1: Emanuel Hernandez, laying on a table. His head is bandaged.
Speaker 1: A few people are working on him, but I could
Speaker 1: see his chest rise and fall, so I knew that
Speaker 1: he was breathing, and I grabbed his hand. I said, hey,
Speaker 1: everything's gonna be okay. Medivac helicopters arrived. They brought us
Speaker 1: to forward surge tical teams in the region. They removed
Speaker 1: several pieces of shrapnel from my back, left a few
Speaker 1: souvenirs in there for me, banage me up, sent me
Speaker 1: back out to the landing zone for another helicopter ride
Speaker 1: to Bogger Mayor Field for some further advanced medical care.
Speaker 1: And it was as I was waiting there, my commander
Speaker 1: approached me and asked me how I was doing, and
Speaker 1: I told him I was going to be fine, And
Speaker 1: of course I asked, I said, well, how how's Hernandez?
Speaker 1: And he looked at me said He's gonna be okay,
Speaker 1: And you know, I just felt such relief. And he
Speaker 1: turned to walk away, and he got about three or
Speaker 1: four steps and he turned around in tears were rolling
Speaker 1: down his cheeks, and he said, I'm sorry that I
Speaker 1: lied her. Nandez didn't make it, and I dropped to
Speaker 1: my knees and I just lost it. He died because
Speaker 1: I didn't have the courage to speak up, because I
Speaker 1: wasn't doing the right thing. And that was something that
Speaker 1: haunted me for a long time as I finished my
Speaker 1: military career and even as I transitioned into the civilian world.
Speaker 1: You know, I tried to drink it away. I tried
Speaker 1: to wash it away with pills. But I've learned over
Speaker 1: time it's such a cliche. I can't change the past,
Speaker 1: but I can influence the future. And so I've learned
Speaker 1: that I can take that story. I can take my failure.
Speaker 1: I can take the sacrifice of Emmanuel and Michael and
Speaker 1: other friends of mine that I've lost in combat, and
Speaker 1: I can share them with others to inspire them. And
Speaker 1: so I've really found a purpose and being able to
Speaker 1: share my story with others and also just let them
Speaker 1: know about these these brave men that I had the
Speaker 1: honor of serving with. Well, first, I'd like to thank
Speaker 1: you for sharing that part of your story. I know
Speaker 1: that you were fremely vulnerable to tell that, and that
Speaker 1: so many people are going to benefit from you just
Speaker 1: sharing what you've gone through, because people have and we'll
Speaker 1: go through very similar things. So first, before we move
Speaker 1: on to the next part and some other questions that
Speaker 1: for you, I would just like to thank you for
Speaker 1: for spending those few minutes talking about that with me.
Speaker 1: After spending nearly seven years as a paratrooper in the U. S.
Speaker 1: Army and completing three combat deployments in various leadership positions,
Speaker 1: earning a Bronze Star and Purple Heart, Patrick turned us
Speaker 1: focus to helping others. Being able to place yourself in
Speaker 1: a in somebody else's shoes and see things from their
Speaker 1: perspective is something we need so much more of in
Speaker 1: this world that we're living in today. And so I'm
Speaker 1: able to take that story and just it one. It
Speaker 1: connects me with other people, like you said, who've had
Speaker 1: maybe not the same obviously tragedies being blown up by
Speaker 1: a rocket, but people who have experienced grief or people
Speaker 1: who have experienced loss, and just attempting to be a
Speaker 1: role model for them to show them that, yes, it's
Speaker 1: still impacts me, it still hurts, but I can do
Speaker 1: something about it as far as sharing that story and
Speaker 1: influencing others. And you know, in February, I lost my
Speaker 1: job like a lot of people did, and now I
Speaker 1: am making a go of it on my own, trying
Speaker 1: to be a speaker to share my story and I
Speaker 1: will talk to anybody that will sit down and listen.
Speaker 1: It has made me very purpose driven. When I was
Speaker 1: in the military, or rather when I signed up, I
Speaker 1: signed up for all those patriotic reasons, but when I
Speaker 1: was in it was just another job. We woke up
Speaker 1: a little bit earlier than most people, and we took
Speaker 1: extended business trips. But just like somebody might be an
Speaker 1: insurance salesman, I was a soldier. I didn't think about
Speaker 1: that patriotic stuff. And it wasn't until I got out
Speaker 1: that I reflected on my experiences and realized I was
Speaker 1: part of something so much bigger than myself. I tried
Speaker 1: for a long time thinking I had to replicate that
Speaker 1: exact purpose, which I quickly learned that I never was
Speaker 1: going to be able to do. But I have found
Speaker 1: a purpose again and just being able to inspire others
Speaker 1: to help them realize that they can impact those around them,
Speaker 1: because sometimes the smallest access service have the biggest impact,
Speaker 1: and you may never know unless you speak up and
Speaker 1: or talk to somebody or reach out. You just never
Speaker 1: know the impact that you could have on somebody's life.
Speaker 1: Whenever you transition into civilian life, did you have a
Speaker 1: clear path that you knew that you would follow getting
Speaker 1: back and what was that transition like for you. I
Speaker 1: knew before I got out that I needed to have
Speaker 1: a plan. I saw a lot of soldiers leave the
Speaker 1: military without a plan and say, you know what, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna take a couple months off, then I'm gonna go
Speaker 1: to college. I'm gonna use my benefits, and I never
Speaker 1: saw him do it. While I was in Afghanistan on
Speaker 1: my last deployment, which was fifteen months long, I had
Speaker 1: already received one scholarship, a Horatio alger military scholar. I
Speaker 1: had been accepted into college. I had signed a lease
Speaker 1: on an apartment in the city that I was moving to.
Speaker 1: I knew that I had to have things in place,
Speaker 1: so when I got out, I was ready to rock
Speaker 1: and roll and again, even though I had a plan,
Speaker 1: though it wasn't wasn't always easy. I didn't expect the
Speaker 1: challenges that I face with the PTSD symptoms that that
Speaker 1: came up and the challenges that I had with my
Speaker 1: reliance on prescription pills. So I got out and I
Speaker 1: had two surgeries related to my wounds. I was on
Speaker 1: viking in a morphine for five years. I didn't go
Speaker 1: anywhere without a bunch of pills in my pocket. It
Speaker 1: took me a long time to realize that I even
Speaker 1: had a problem. The pills, the drugs, that the alcohol,
Speaker 1: they only act as accelerants for any type of PTSD
Speaker 1: challenges you might have. So having to overcome that was tough,
Speaker 1: and so I think still having that foundation of the
Speaker 1: plan really was able to help keep me on on
Speaker 1: a path which wasn't always straight. But then also having
Speaker 1: my girlfriend at the time who is now my wife,
Speaker 1: and again understanding the importance of surrounding myself with people
Speaker 1: who have your best interests in mind, not yes man
Speaker 1: or yes women, right, people who are not going to
Speaker 1: tell you what you want to hear, but obviously what
Speaker 1: you need to hear. Two thousand and eight, I think
Speaker 1: you go back and get your degree, but what inspires
Speaker 1: you to do that? Yeah, again, it kind of really
Speaker 1: goes back to the tough childhood that I had. People
Speaker 1: didn't look at me growing up, and I'm sure it
Speaker 1: might have been the same for you, Bobby saying, man,
Speaker 1: that kid's gonna go places some day and do some
Speaker 1: great things. And uh, it's really was driven by the
Speaker 1: sense of wanting to overcome the stereotypes and the statistics
Speaker 1: and have a sense of achievement. After I got wounded
Speaker 1: in the military, I got Metavact out of there and
Speaker 1: I was gone for three weeks. A fellow soldier my
Speaker 1: unit by the name of Greg Trent, had a conversation
Speaker 1: with me, and Greg was able to sneak me on
Speaker 1: a helicopter flight to get back there with my soldiers. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: Greg was killed in two thousand twelve in Afghanistan while
Speaker 1: operating with his Special Forces team. But Gregg got me
Speaker 1: back out there. I couldn't go out on any missions.
Speaker 1: But we're working with the Special Forces. We're working with
Speaker 1: the Seals, which meant we had bigger budgets, which meant
Speaker 1: we had satellites, which meant we had fast internet. So
Speaker 1: I started plugging away at online college classes while I'm
Speaker 1: in a mud hut in the middle of nowhere, Afghanistan.
Speaker 1: And so I finished two years of college classes while
Speaker 1: I was in just because I wanted to challenge myself
Speaker 1: and accomplish something and prove people wrong. And so I
Speaker 1: got out December two thousand eight. January two thousand nine,
Speaker 1: I was sitting in the college classroom with a bunch
Speaker 1: eighteen nineteen year old kids, and you know, I was
Speaker 1: twenty six at the time. I felt like I was
Speaker 1: that kind of old weird man on campus. But uh
Speaker 1: is still pretty young, you know, double majored. I went,
Speaker 1: got that master's degree, and then, um, you know, just
Speaker 1: a few years ago, I went and finished another master's
Speaker 1: degree in organization development for Pepperdine and again really driven
Speaker 1: by that sense of wanting to accomplish something and showing
Speaker 1: people that I can do it, and not only showing
Speaker 1: people that you can do it. And I feel like
Speaker 1: we're we come from the same spot and you may
Speaker 1: agree with me here, it's showing other people like us
Speaker 1: they can do it too. Absolutely, Yeah, definitely, it's a
Speaker 1: you know, being being that I like holding up that
Speaker 1: mirror to other people and saying like, look, if I
Speaker 1: can overcome this, I know that you can too, And yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what, it's gonna be hard and It's gonna
Speaker 1: take a lot of hard work and it's not gonna
Speaker 1: be handed to you, but you can do it. If
Speaker 1: there are young people listening to this right now who
Speaker 1: are considering enlisting and then they're moved by your story,
Speaker 1: what advice would you give them about enlisting? I would
Speaker 1: ask them, what do you want to do in life?
Speaker 1: Like what's your what's your dream, and whatever it is,
Speaker 1: go for it, like you got one shot at this
Speaker 1: life you're on Earth. And if it is joining the military,
Speaker 1: if you want to go shoot some guns, go for it.
Speaker 1: Do it now. If you want to work for the
Speaker 1: CIA someday or FBI, you know, and you want to
Speaker 1: go into intelligence, do that. If you're eighteen years old,
Speaker 1: you don't have to have everything figured out. I mean,
Speaker 1: it took me to tell us about thirty one to
Speaker 1: kind of realize what I wanted to do with my life.
Speaker 1: So if you don't know, just go out there and
Speaker 1: soak in different experiences, whether it is the military or
Speaker 1: volunteering for different organizations. Because you know, when I got out,
Speaker 1: I first wanted to work in professional sports. I got
Speaker 1: a master's screen sport management. I was very fortunate to
Speaker 1: be named that that NFL Tillman Scholar and I went
Speaker 1: to work for the Minnesota Vikings, my hometown football team.
Speaker 1: What I thought it was going to be my dream job,
Speaker 1: and it turned out it wasn't and it wasn't for me.
Speaker 1: So you don't have to have it all figured out.
Speaker 1: If if you want to join the military, do your research,
Speaker 1: figure out what branch is going to be best for
Speaker 1: you with what you want to do, and uh and
Speaker 1: do it. But my my recommendation is if you join
Speaker 1: the army and make sure you become a paratrooper. Uh,
Speaker 1: what do you miss most about being in the military.
Speaker 1: I missed the people and I also missed the mission. Obviously,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of politics at play when it when
Speaker 1: it comes to the conflicts that are going on, and
Speaker 1: that's not something that I thought about when I was in.
Speaker 1: But I saw the impact that we had on local
Speaker 1: people and when it was in Iraq, when I was there,
Speaker 1: and when I went to Afghanistan, and that is such
Speaker 1: a a humbling feeling that allows me to still keep
Speaker 1: things in perspective to this day thinking about those people
Speaker 1: in the lives that they have and all the blessings.
Speaker 1: You know, again, I lost my job in February. But
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be okay. I'm not living in a war
Speaker 1: torn country, so it just makes me continue to remain grateful.
Speaker 1: How would you encourage someone, because this for us is
Speaker 1: inspired by Veteran's Day obviously, how would you encourage someone
Speaker 1: to go about celebrating Veterans Day or what can we
Speaker 1: actually do? Not just think and feel? And that's level
Speaker 1: one for sure, but what can we also do? Level two? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I like that you put it like that, Bobby, because
Speaker 1: words are nice, they're great, but what sort of action
Speaker 1: can you take? And so my recommendation is to get
Speaker 1: involved with some type of organization if you support veterans,
Speaker 1: if it's a cause that you're passionate about, whether it's
Speaker 1: going to the v A and visiting with some of
Speaker 1: the patients there, or one of the many Veteran service
Speaker 1: organizations out there, the VFW, the American Legion that unfortunately
Speaker 1: I'm really struggling with membership with this younger generation of veterans.
Speaker 1: I encourage people get involved in you know, yeah, he's
Speaker 1: here on Veterans Day, that's kind of the obviously a
Speaker 1: prime time to thank a vet, and but then that
Speaker 1: sort of just fades away after a while. I like
Speaker 1: to say, for my you know, there's a lot of
Speaker 1: gold star mothers and and brothers and sisters and fathers
Speaker 1: out there, and I know plenty of them that Memorial
Speaker 1: Days every day for them, And the same thing applies
Speaker 1: for me for Veterans Day. It might be the middle
Speaker 1: of June and hey it's not Veterans Day today, but
Speaker 1: going to do something for veteran anyways. You know. I
Speaker 1: found my ability to do that through my affiliation with
Speaker 1: an organization called Tee It Up for the Troops. They
Speaker 1: hold golf events across the country raising money for wounded veterans.
Speaker 1: And I had never swung a golf club again, like
Speaker 1: growing up like we did, I never swing a golf
Speaker 1: club in my life until I was twenty seven years
Speaker 1: old and they put a set of golf clubs in
Speaker 1: my hands, and I fell in love with the game.
Speaker 1: And I'm a terrible golfer, but I found it as
Speaker 1: a therapeutic outlet just to kind of take my mind
Speaker 1: off of all the other things that we're going on.
Speaker 1: That's the one organization that I really will bend over
Speaker 1: backwards for and do anything that I can to help
Speaker 1: them further their cause. So tell me about life now
Speaker 1: and what you're doing, and how do you see the
Speaker 1: lessons and values that you've learned influencing and impacting your
Speaker 1: journey as it continues. Yeah, life is great. It's been
Speaker 1: a challenge again losing your job. In February, my wife
Speaker 1: and I were in the middle of the adoption process.
Speaker 1: We have two beautiful biological girls and we had just
Speaker 1: in January, we went through what's known as a failed match.
Speaker 1: We lost, you know, fifteen thousand dollars, which is a
Speaker 1: significant amount of money for anybody, but what hurt the
Speaker 1: most was the emotional investment. And then I go ahead
Speaker 1: and lose my job, and we have to decide if
Speaker 1: we want to continue on with this adoption journey, which
Speaker 1: is expensive, and you know, we make the decision to
Speaker 1: continue on, I start trying to make a go of
Speaker 1: it on my own to be able to to speak
Speaker 1: to others to help them develop as leaders. And in
Speaker 1: May we welcomed a beautiful baby girl by the name
Speaker 1: of Haven that we adopted, and she has just been
Speaker 1: the light of our life through these challenging times that
Speaker 1: everybody's going through. And uh, and we definitely look forward
Speaker 1: to adopting again. We have so much love to give.
Speaker 1: It's always been our dream to you know, we just
Speaker 1: want to build a big house in the country and
Speaker 1: fill it full of kids and fill it full of love.
Speaker 1: My wife had a very normal childhood growing up. I didn't.
Speaker 1: I didn't have one of those safe places where you
Speaker 1: could bring friends over to hang out and play a
Speaker 1: video game or whatever. And so we really want to
Speaker 1: create that opportunity the for kids to be that place
Speaker 1: where you're not worried about where your kids at on
Speaker 1: a Friday night. Is they're all, you know, at the
Speaker 1: h at the Nelson House, hanging out at the sport court,
Speaker 1: playing basketball or whatever. And so really that's what drives
Speaker 1: me as my family and taking care and providing for
Speaker 1: them and doing meaningful work. How pivotal was your wife
Speaker 1: in your process? I I think I would have committed
Speaker 1: suicide if it wasn't for her. I don't think that
Speaker 1: I would be alive today if it wasn't for her. Um,
Speaker 1: because I struggled, and I kept a lot of those
Speaker 1: struggles internal and I didn't share those with anybody. And um, yeah, man,
Speaker 1: if if it wasn't for her, I don't think I'd
Speaker 1: be here as a dad, just as a dad. What what?
Speaker 1: What's your goal? My goal is to spend as much
Speaker 1: time with my kids as possible. And that's another thing.
Speaker 1: The career that I've chosen and that I feel like
Speaker 1: has also chosen me, provides me that flexibility. You know,
Speaker 1: I encourage everybody do do whatever makes you happy. And
Speaker 1: this is what makes me happy because I have that
Speaker 1: flexibility where if I want to go play at the
Speaker 1: park with my girls all afternoon, I can do that.
Speaker 1: They're only young once. And it's just having kids is
Speaker 1: so awesome. And and Bobby, I just h I know
Speaker 1: you got engaged recently, so congratulations. And you know, if
Speaker 1: you end up having a family, I think you're gonna
Speaker 1: feel that as well and just be be an awesome dad,
Speaker 1: I hope. So you know, I was always and still
Speaker 1: am a bit scared to have kids because I had
Speaker 1: no I didn't have parents, so I don't know if
Speaker 1: I know how to parent. You know, I didn't have
Speaker 1: a safe place. And much like you, so to hear
Speaker 1: your story and to hear you I love being a
Speaker 1: dad and want more kids, and like that's inspiring for
Speaker 1: a guy like me. Well, you know. I like to
Speaker 1: say I was taught exactly what not to do. I
Speaker 1: learned exactly what not to do from from those I
Speaker 1: had in my life. But at the same time, too,
Speaker 1: I understood the power of positive people around me and
Speaker 1: surrounding myself with them and seeing what it can be like.
Speaker 1: And so I've been able to take that and use
Speaker 1: that to shape me as a father. And you'll go
Speaker 1: through a lot of learning experiences obviously too. And I
Speaker 1: have really enjoyed talking with you. I've I mean that
Speaker 1: as as sincerely as I possibly can um. So thank
Speaker 1: you for sharing your story, thank you for sharing your
Speaker 1: knowledge and your advice, and for continuing to want to
Speaker 1: do that because I can tell you from experience, it
Speaker 1: ain'ty easy thing to want to talk to folks because
Speaker 1: not everybody wants to always hear you want they don't
Speaker 1: want to listen to your story. But when you connect,
Speaker 1: it is worth its weight and whatever currency you want
Speaker 1: to spend. And so you're gonna it's gonna be so
Speaker 1: great for you because I can just tell that that
Speaker 1: fulfills you to help others. So thank you again, and
Speaker 1: the best best way just to you and your wife
Speaker 1: and and all your kids. Thank you very much, Bobby,
Speaker 1: I appreciate the opportunity. It's been fantastic, so thank you
Speaker 1: very much, and again, congratulations on the depending nuptials. Enjoy
Speaker 1: it man. I want to thank Patrick for his bravery
Speaker 1: and dedication and service and for the work he does
Speaker 1: today carrying out the memory of those who have made
Speaker 1: the ultimate sacrifice. I encourage you to follow Patrick Nelson
Speaker 1: on Instagram. He's at Patrick J. Nelson Ninete. Thanks for
Speaker 1: listening to Bet you Should Know. Check out our other
Speaker 1: episodes from more great stories from inspiring bets like Patrick
Speaker 1: who continue to work selflessly and tirelessly in civilian life
Speaker 1: to make positive change. If you like what you heard,
Speaker 1: please rate and review the podcast. We want to hear
Speaker 1: from you, and don't forget to subscribe for free or
Speaker 1: follow the show on the I Heart Radio app, Apple Podcasts,
Speaker 1: or wherever you listen to your podcasts. Bets you Should
Speaker 1: Know is a special four part series podcast from I
Speaker 1: Heart Radio hosted by me Bobby Bones. Our show has
Speaker 1: written produced by Molly Sosha, Andy Kelly, Ethan Fixell in
Speaker 1: partnership with Haley Erickson and Garrett Shannon of Banter Edit,
Speaker 1: sound design, and mixed by Matt Stillo and my personal
Speaker 1: producer and hero is Mike d