WEBVTT - Back In The Building! 0:00:00.200 --> 0:00:03.320 Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and 0:00:03.360 --> 0:00:15.520 The Black Effect, And. 0:00:15.680 --> 0:00:17.000 Just like that, we're back on the air. 0:00:17.040 --> 0:00:19.560 Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your 0:00:19.560 --> 0:00:21.599 girl Jess Hilarious, where I'm fixing mess. 0:00:21.640 --> 0:00:23.400 That's what I do. That's what I does. 0:00:23.720 --> 0:00:25.799 Not only do I do it on The Black Effect 0:00:26.040 --> 0:00:28.280 for Carefully Reckless on my own podcast, I do it 0:00:28.320 --> 0:00:31.120 on Breakfast Club, on B E T and everywhere else. 0:00:31.160 --> 0:00:33.120 You can listen to Breakfast Club back. Just make sure 0:00:33.159 --> 0:00:35.440 you tune in every day. You know, I ain't knowing 0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:37.040 it every day, but I will be, and. 0:00:37.000 --> 0:00:39.560 I'm speaking it into existence. That's how you got it. 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:44.600 You gotta speak things as though they were speak as. 0:00:44.680 --> 0:00:46.279 My bad Lord. I know that was in your good 0:00:46.280 --> 0:00:46.760 old book. 0:00:46.800 --> 0:00:49.280 I know it, but I don't really know it verbatim, 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:50.360 so I ain't even gonna touch it. 0:00:50.400 --> 0:00:53.360 We're gonna jump straight in. Okay. So I've been getting 0:00:53.400 --> 0:00:55.840 stories from everywhere. 0:00:56.000 --> 0:00:58.640 Okay, now that I'm doing Breakfast Club and now that 0:00:59.000 --> 0:01:01.440 I'm out and about, more and more people are asking 0:01:01.520 --> 0:01:04.720 me in person. Oh, Kenny Kenn, I just had five 0:01:04.760 --> 0:01:06.560 minutes your time, so you can hear me out fix 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:08.440 my mass. It was this lady at the airport, and 0:01:08.480 --> 0:01:11.959 she asked me what should she do about this? I 0:01:12.000 --> 0:01:13.680 was in Charlotte over the weekend and I met a 0:01:13.760 --> 0:01:15.760 lady in the airport and she wanted to take a picture, 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:18.600 but she also said, can you help me with my mess? 0:01:18.600 --> 0:01:20.480 I was like, I don't never help nobody in person. 0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:22.920 I might have to charge you for that, and she 0:01:22.959 --> 0:01:24.800 started laughing, but I could see that she was really 0:01:24.800 --> 0:01:26.600 down or whatever. So she told me our story, and 0:01:26.640 --> 0:01:29.480 she said, what do you do when you can't move 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:32.440 on from your ex and your ex can't move on 0:01:32.600 --> 0:01:36.960 from you but they're in a new relationship. What what 0:01:37.000 --> 0:01:37.360 do you mean? 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:37.840 What do you do? 0:01:37.920 --> 0:01:40.160 You go get your man back, that's what you do, 0:01:40.520 --> 0:01:43.759 because obviously he moved on a little bit too quick. 0:01:44.040 --> 0:01:44.920 And that's what people do. 0:01:44.959 --> 0:01:48.320 They they jump in relationships, they jump out of relationships, 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:51.160 and well, people do jumping it out. But this wasn't 0:01:51.200 --> 0:01:54.160 her case. Her case was they were together for six 0:01:54.240 --> 0:01:57.880 years and they were having a lot of problems or whatever, 0:01:57.960 --> 0:01:58.880 so they were gonna take. 0:01:58.800 --> 0:02:01.520 A break, but they still lived together. So that was 0:02:01.560 --> 0:02:04.160 the thing. Now, separated living together. 0:02:04.240 --> 0:02:06.600 I wouldn't even date a guy that tells me that 0:02:06.680 --> 0:02:08.960 he's separated, but he's still living with his girl. Now. 0:02:09.000 --> 0:02:12.280 They weren't married, they were just boyfriend girlfriend for about six. 0:02:12.160 --> 0:02:12.880 Years or whatever. 0:02:13.240 --> 0:02:16.760 But their struggles is why they broke up. They both 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:20.760 were struggling, and that's what it can happen. You know, finances, 0:02:20.880 --> 0:02:23.480 that shit can actually bring a wall up in a 0:02:23.520 --> 0:02:26.720 relationship and drive two partners away from each other. 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:28.320 That shit would make you go crazy because if you 0:02:28.600 --> 0:02:29.320 if you feel like you. 0:02:29.280 --> 0:02:33.520 Can't financially provide for you or your family, or you 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:36.400 or your girl or you were your guy, it fucks 0:02:36.400 --> 0:02:38.760 with you mentally, you know what I'm saying. And that shit, 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:41.360 that shit takes away from your confidence. It messes with 0:02:42.000 --> 0:02:44.000 other areas like sex. You don't want to have sex, 0:02:44.080 --> 0:02:45.480 no one. You can't get it up because you broke 0:02:45.520 --> 0:02:47.239 you know, you can't get wet because. 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:49.040 You're thinking about what you're gonna do. Your bills are. 0:02:49.160 --> 0:02:51.480 Going unpaid and all that type of stuff. So they 0:02:51.480 --> 0:02:53.640 fell up on hard times and they broke up, and 0:02:53.880 --> 0:02:57.320 I guess he still needed that fulfillment from somewhere. He 0:02:57.480 --> 0:03:00.680 ended up meeting somebody getting into a relationship ship three 0:03:00.720 --> 0:03:04.360 months after the breakup, and then shortly after, admits to 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:07.160 his ex that he made a mistake, and that's when 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:09.320 he told her, I'm in a whole relationship and I 0:03:09.360 --> 0:03:09.640 don't know. 0:03:09.639 --> 0:03:10.360 How to get out of it. 0:03:10.440 --> 0:03:12.480 So he came to her to ask her for advice 0:03:12.919 --> 0:03:14.639 to get out of the relationship with the new girl 0:03:14.680 --> 0:03:17.160 so he can be back with her. What the hell 0:03:17.480 --> 0:03:20.440 is going on? Just break it off with that girl, 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:23.080 you know what I mean. I told her to tell him, 0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:25.600 just break it off with the girl, like you just 0:03:25.680 --> 0:03:27.600 got to sit down and just be honest. Like he 0:03:27.720 --> 0:03:30.960 was honest enough with you to tell you all of 0:03:30.960 --> 0:03:32.040 that shit. He was honest. 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:32.760 I liked that. 0:03:32.760 --> 0:03:34.960 That's how you know they were friends. That's how you 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:37.080 know there was a strong foundation. A lot of people 0:03:37.080 --> 0:03:39.840 don't have that they were friends. Some people would be 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:42.880 half scared to death to go to their ex who 0:03:42.880 --> 0:03:45.800 they're still in love with and tell them, yo, I 0:03:45.920 --> 0:03:48.560 moved too fast. I got in a fucking relationship and 0:03:48.600 --> 0:03:50.400 I'm not over you, and I don't know what to do. 0:03:50.560 --> 0:03:52.120 How can I break it off with this girl because 0:03:52.120 --> 0:03:53.839 I don't want to hurt her feelings because she she's 0:03:53.880 --> 0:03:57.360 a very very sweet girl. And you, being that ex girlfriend, 0:03:57.560 --> 0:03:58.920 really give the guy advice. 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:00.640 That's a bit step. 0:04:00.880 --> 0:04:02.560 That takes a lot of patience and a lot of 0:04:02.640 --> 0:04:07.440 damn dignity and also no ego and no pride, because 0:04:07.520 --> 0:04:10.240 that that could never work with a motherfucker with pride, 0:04:10.400 --> 0:04:13.880 could never work. Pride be so damn big, ego, be 0:04:13.960 --> 0:04:16.440 so damn big. Oh he got me fucked up, be 0:04:16.520 --> 0:04:19.200 so damn big. But I really liked this. I like 0:04:19.240 --> 0:04:22.080 that he was very, very honest with her, came to 0:04:22.160 --> 0:04:24.680 her about the shit and was like, Yo, what should 0:04:24.720 --> 0:04:27.919 I do? And she didn't know, so when she saw me, 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:30.839 that's what she asked me. It was a two part 0:04:30.920 --> 0:04:33.040 She was like, I don't know what the advice is. 0:04:33.080 --> 0:04:35.120 He asked me for advice on how to break up 0:04:35.120 --> 0:04:37.359 with her, and I'm asking you because I didn't know 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:38.279 what to tell him. 0:04:38.600 --> 0:04:42.520 And then I'm also asking you, how do you move now? 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:45.800 How can we like, how do you just deal with 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:48.840 this situation? You know? So that's how you deal with it? 0:04:48.920 --> 0:04:50.880 Get your man back obviously, you know he loves you, 0:04:51.480 --> 0:04:53.720 and you left him. Y'all just needed to get over 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:56.479 whatever y'all needed to get over. Sometimes the end is 0:04:56.520 --> 0:04:58.560 not always the end, you know. Sometimes it's just to 0:04:58.839 --> 0:05:01.600 be continued. Y'all need to do y'all best team up 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:03.600 to break up with that girl together, so y'all can 0:05:03.640 --> 0:05:05.400 continue get back with me, get back with me. 0:05:05.440 --> 0:05:06.520 Because you said you was gonna listen. 0:05:06.520 --> 0:05:08.240 I told you I was gonna talk about your story 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:10.960 on my podcast, So make sure you follow up and 0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:13.560 you update me so I can update my listeners. Moving on, 0:05:14.160 --> 0:05:15.960 So I did Breakfast Club a couple of days ago, 0:05:16.080 --> 0:05:17.880 and you know I fixed mess on that now. As 0:05:17.920 --> 0:05:20.440 I said to y'all previously, that was this girl that 0:05:20.520 --> 0:05:24.560 called up. And I ain't gonna say this was dumb, 0:05:25.160 --> 0:05:26.840 but sometimes people just. 0:05:26.839 --> 0:05:29.560 Need to hear themselves talk. 0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:31.960 That's why I like when y'all give me y'all mess, 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:35.520 because when it's borderline obvious, what the fuck you need 0:05:35.560 --> 0:05:38.080 to do? Sometimes you just need to hear your story 0:05:38.120 --> 0:05:41.120 told back to you. So this girl called up and said, 0:05:41.160 --> 0:05:43.320 I wonder why I keep ghosting men. 0:05:43.480 --> 0:05:46.360 I never make it past the talking stage, right. 0:05:46.400 --> 0:05:48.919 So I was like, okay, okay, okay, trying to figure 0:05:48.960 --> 0:05:52.279 it out because when people say that I never make 0:05:52.320 --> 0:05:54.799 it past the talking stage, you know what it is, right, 0:05:54.960 --> 0:05:57.479 It ain't them as you because you said you never 0:05:57.520 --> 0:06:00.560 make it back so that means almost every guy never 0:06:00.600 --> 0:06:02.760 makes a pass to talking stage because you ghost them. 0:06:03.000 --> 0:06:07.440 What about them makes you want to ghost them? She said, Well, 0:06:07.480 --> 0:06:10.800 it's only the guys that I like. I don't ghost 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:13.400 the guys that I really like. It just keeps happening 0:06:13.800 --> 0:06:16.000 with the guys that chase me, because you know, I 0:06:16.040 --> 0:06:17.919 got a nice ross that I got a nice little 0:06:18.000 --> 0:06:22.400 thought in five. First of all, baby girl, back it up. 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:24.520 DA's your handsome right there? Girl. 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:27.400 You said you ghost the niggas that be chasing you, 0:06:28.080 --> 0:06:29.680 but you don't ghost the niggas that you really like, 0:06:29.760 --> 0:06:33.480 So that means you're chasing behind somebody too. That's how 0:06:33.480 --> 0:06:36.080 it always go. The good girls always want the niggas 0:06:36.080 --> 0:06:38.560 who really don't want them for them. I'm not saying 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:40.359 these niggas don't want you, the ones that you really like. 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:42.640 But you like a guy to play on to get you, 0:06:42.760 --> 0:06:44.480 like a guy to act like he don't like you. 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:46.599 And I think a celebrity just said that. 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:48.000 One of Ruby Rose just said that. 0:06:48.440 --> 0:06:51.120 She said she quote unquote, I don't know, well, don't 0:06:51.160 --> 0:06:51.760 quote me at all. 0:06:51.839 --> 0:06:52.320 Allegedly. 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:54.719 I think Ruby Rose they says she like guys who 0:06:54.920 --> 0:06:57.760 don't like her back or who act like they don't 0:06:57.800 --> 0:06:58.440 like her back. 0:06:59.040 --> 0:07:02.120 Huh, you want to get nigga, don't you shit? What 0:07:02.200 --> 0:07:03.880 you mean? You want a nigga to act like you 0:07:03.880 --> 0:07:04.440 don't like you? 0:07:04.880 --> 0:07:09.320 I excales, I f a you're talking about. So that's 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:11.880 not the right way to go. And that also means 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:14.320 that you like toxic shit because you like for a 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:17.800 motherfucker to feel one way but act another. That's toxic 0:07:17.840 --> 0:07:21.080 as shit, girl, and I think that's mental as hell. 0:07:21.320 --> 0:07:22.920 Don't do that now. 0:07:23.000 --> 0:07:27.360 The guys that are chasing you, they probably wanting it 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:30.800 downing you, probably calling you and texting you every day, 0:07:31.120 --> 0:07:33.760 every doing everything that you want from these niggas that 0:07:33.760 --> 0:07:37.000 could care less. That's probably dicking you down every now 0:07:37.040 --> 0:07:39.880 and then. And that's probably a smutting you out. And 0:07:39.920 --> 0:07:41.680 the reason why I say smut because you having sex 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:43.360 with all the ones you like, but you ain't trying 0:07:43.400 --> 0:07:47.120 to give no pussy to the ones that are chasing you. 0:07:47.200 --> 0:07:47.840 That's crazy. 0:07:48.360 --> 0:07:50.560 How about you stop to chase, turn around for a 0:07:50.600 --> 0:07:52.600 second and pick one of them niggas who chasing you 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:53.680 and see how. 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:54.440 It actually goes. 0:07:54.680 --> 0:07:56.760 That's why you don't get past the talking stage, because 0:07:56.840 --> 0:07:58.800 nigga's too soft for you. The niggas that chase you 0:07:58.920 --> 0:08:02.040 too pressed and too and too soft probably for you. 0:08:02.080 --> 0:08:03.840 Get one of the niggas a chance, girl, I'm telling 0:08:03.840 --> 0:08:07.160 you'll probably be right with kids. Settle down somewhere, and 0:08:07.240 --> 0:08:09.520 you'll be writing me next year and talk about Jess. 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:09.960 Listening to you. 0:08:10.000 --> 0:08:12.000 It's the best thing I ever did in my life. 0:08:12.640 --> 0:08:15.800 So get back at me, girl, Get back simmy. Now 0:08:15.800 --> 0:08:17.560 we got a commercial, and if you click off of 0:08:17.560 --> 0:08:19.520 this podcast, I swear i'mnna beat your ass. 0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:20.160 Listen. 0:08:22.240 --> 0:08:25.440 Moving on, So last week we had somebody in person. 0:08:25.600 --> 0:08:28.400 We're gonna do one every so often. We have another 0:08:28.440 --> 0:08:31.440 person in person today that is gonna allow me to 0:08:31.480 --> 0:08:32.600 try to fix their mess. 0:08:32.640 --> 0:08:34.160 I ain't gonna let you know who they are. 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:36.120 I'm not gonna let you know what they are because 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:38.199 everybody is anonymous on this show. 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:40.480 So yeah, take it away. 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:45.160 Hey, jazz girl, I'm urt Okay. So I just got 0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:48.679 of a four year relationship. Wow, it was a few 0:08:48.720 --> 0:08:50.880 months ago, so you can still say it's fresh. 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:55.280 And I just started being okay with dating a game 0:08:55.880 --> 0:08:57.520 and I started talking to this guy. 0:08:57.800 --> 0:09:00.679 And you know, when you're starting to get into an relationship, 0:09:00.720 --> 0:09:02.199 you want to let them know what you've been through, 0:09:02.480 --> 0:09:04.079 just so you won't go through it again and give 0:09:04.120 --> 0:09:07.760 them more insight on you. So I'm letting him know 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:10.240 what I've been through with my ex, and he's trying 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:14.640 to say that I'm comparing him to my ex, and 0:09:14.760 --> 0:09:15.200 it's not. 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:15.600 That at all. 0:09:15.640 --> 0:09:18.360 It's just literally, I don't want to repeat the same 0:09:18.360 --> 0:09:20.120 cycle that I've been through with my ex. 0:09:20.240 --> 0:09:22.640 Is traumatizing, you know, and it triggers me. 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:26.080 So I just want to know how can I communicate 0:09:26.120 --> 0:09:28.800 with him without making it seem like I'm comparing him 0:09:28.800 --> 0:09:29.400 to my ex. 0:09:29.840 --> 0:09:31.920 Okay, So there's two ways that that could be taken. 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:35.199 There's two perspectives on that, because while you don't want 0:09:35.240 --> 0:09:38.960 to be compared and people actually do it, sometimes you 0:09:39.120 --> 0:09:40.160 do have to let that. 0:09:40.040 --> 0:09:42.840 Person know what you just went through, not only so. 0:09:43.040 --> 0:09:47.000 They won't do it, but so they can handle you accordingly, 0:09:47.400 --> 0:09:50.360 they can handle you different, and so they can be like, oh, 0:09:50.640 --> 0:09:53.559 they can have a reference if you are triggered by 0:09:53.559 --> 0:09:56.200 something or if something happens, it's like, oh man, she 0:09:56.280 --> 0:09:58.920 went through this so or he went through this, so 0:09:58.960 --> 0:10:01.120 this is why they act like that. Okay, and then 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:02.840 all right, now we're going to try to break that 0:10:02.920 --> 0:10:05.320 and get them out of that. How can I reassure 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:07.880 this person that that shit ain't gonna happen over here 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:10.640 because now you in good hands, now, you know. 0:10:11.320 --> 0:10:13.840 I think it's a meet in the middle type of situation. 0:10:14.160 --> 0:10:17.400 Let me ask you this, how often would you bring 0:10:17.520 --> 0:10:19.520 your ex up or your passed up? 0:10:19.559 --> 0:10:21.760 Because that also plays a part too. 0:10:22.040 --> 0:10:24.679 I remember when I was talking to this guy and 0:10:24.800 --> 0:10:26.920 he brought up his ex every day, not because he 0:10:27.040 --> 0:10:30.160 wanted her, not because he liked her, you know, or 0:10:30.160 --> 0:10:32.480 he missed her. He bought her up every day because 0:10:32.840 --> 0:10:35.880 he was just that fucked up over the relationship that 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:39.880 almost everything reminded him of being with her, even when 0:10:39.880 --> 0:10:41.960 he was talking to me certain things. You know. She 0:10:42.080 --> 0:10:45.359 was also an aggressive person, and you know I'm not always. 0:10:45.120 --> 0:10:47.480 Aggressive, but my voice very aggressive off the rip. 0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:49.320 Especially if you don't know me, you can take every 0:10:49.400 --> 0:10:51.280 almost everything I say the wrong way, you know what 0:10:51.320 --> 0:10:51.600 I mean. 0:10:51.640 --> 0:10:54.120 And I'm not even from New York, you know, we 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:56.080 from Baltimore, so you. 0:10:56.000 --> 0:10:59.800 Know, but I would tell him, y'all, I'm tired of 0:10:59.840 --> 0:11:00.960 him about your fucking ex. 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:02.720 I don't like this shit. I'm not used to this shit. 0:11:02.960 --> 0:11:04.959 Nobody has ever spoken on the X so fucking much 0:11:04.960 --> 0:11:07.120 do you fucking want her back? Or because honestly, like 0:11:07.600 --> 0:11:09.880 I was so fed up, and I was so like 0:11:10.360 --> 0:11:14.840 offended and defensive, Like I was just very like not 0:11:14.920 --> 0:11:17.520 even trying to look at it in a way of 0:11:17.960 --> 0:11:20.720 oh no, he's kind of telling me what he went through, and. 0:11:20.640 --> 0:11:23.679 He's just very very fucked up. It was just very severe. 0:11:23.960 --> 0:11:28.320 How often you know, would you bring up your past 0:11:28.559 --> 0:11:29.840 or your ex to this guy? 0:11:30.400 --> 0:11:34.319 To be honest, not that much, but I noticed it 0:11:34.360 --> 0:11:38.280 started becoming more frequent when he started acting like my ex. 0:11:38.960 --> 0:11:42.680 He can start, you know, doing malicious stuff. 0:11:42.720 --> 0:11:43.240 You know what I'm saying. 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:45.120 It would be the same shit that my ex used 0:11:45.160 --> 0:11:48.040 to do, and I would bring it up and I'm like, okay, 0:11:48.080 --> 0:11:50.800 that's the shit that ran me away from him. That's 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:52.880 shit I don't like. It makes me feel uncomfortable. So 0:11:52.920 --> 0:11:54.800 I fall back and he's like. 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:56.920 I'm not your ex. I'm not your ex, you know, 0:11:57.000 --> 0:11:59.199 stop comparing me to him. I don't do the same 0:11:59.480 --> 0:12:02.079 but like him, Yeah, you know what I'm saying. 0:12:02.120 --> 0:12:05.800 So that's what I'm trying to battle with and get 0:12:05.840 --> 0:12:06.800 him to understand. 0:12:07.200 --> 0:12:10.560 So you actually said the words, you're acting like him. 0:12:11.520 --> 0:12:17.800 Yes, Oh my god. 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:19.960 No, you're not supposed to say that because all right, 0:12:20.040 --> 0:12:21.480 so all right, we'll stay asked this. 0:12:21.760 --> 0:12:26.520 Tables were reversed, right, tables returned, and he told you, 0:12:26.600 --> 0:12:27.760 you know, you act like my ax. 0:12:28.640 --> 0:12:31.120 You would go to fuck off? 0:12:32.000 --> 0:12:35.600 Right, Yeah, it's a better way to say it. 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:37.520 It's a better way to say it. 0:12:37.440 --> 0:12:40.280 And to be honest if the nigga act like niggagg 0:12:40.320 --> 0:12:43.400 like X to be honest with you. But a better 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:46.640 way of saying it is I've been through this before. 0:12:47.160 --> 0:12:49.120 I've been through this before, and. 0:12:49.240 --> 0:12:53.480 That's why I made myself single. That's why I left 0:12:53.600 --> 0:12:55.600 my last relationship. I don't want to. 0:12:55.600 --> 0:12:56.480 Go through this no more. 0:12:56.760 --> 0:12:57.040 I'm not. 0:12:57.559 --> 0:12:59.840 This is a trigger for me. This scares me. I'm not. 0:13:00.000 --> 0:13:02.360 I didn't want something not doing that again, I'm not. 0:13:03.040 --> 0:13:06.920 He's still being compared, but it's not yo, you act 0:13:06.960 --> 0:13:09.559 just like him or you act like my ex. Because 0:13:09.559 --> 0:13:12.040 if this is a man that's trying to build something 0:13:12.080 --> 0:13:15.720 with you, regardless of him acting like your ass, that 0:13:15.760 --> 0:13:17.920 could drive a man crazy, that could fuck with their 0:13:18.000 --> 0:13:20.400 self esteem, and that could always put in the back 0:13:20.440 --> 0:13:23.880 as mine. She might really fucking go be back with 0:13:23.880 --> 0:13:26.240 that nigga, because if I act like that, nigga. 0:13:25.920 --> 0:13:27.680 She might as well just go be back with him. 0:13:28.040 --> 0:13:30.800 You know what I'm saying. You know, and literally you 0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:31.680 saying the same thing. 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:35.880 If you gonna act like my ax, I could have 0:13:35.960 --> 0:13:38.360 just stayed with my fucking ex. But that's not what 0:13:38.400 --> 0:13:42.120 I wanted to do. I don't want that type of shit. No, 0:13:42.200 --> 0:13:44.280 more like I don't want to be treated that way. 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:47.400 I didn't like this part about the relationship. So you 0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:50.520 either got to like compromise with me, change that or 0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:53.280 that's it. But y'all want in a relationship. Y'all were 0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:55.840 just talking and because I know you said you didn't 0:13:55.840 --> 0:13:58.120 even want to be in a relationship. Yeah, and then 0:13:58.120 --> 0:14:00.559 that was early on, so he probably felt like on 0:14:00.600 --> 0:14:03.400 his end, that's a red flag. She already saying, I 0:14:03.440 --> 0:14:04.880 act like I asked and all of that. But then 0:14:04.920 --> 0:14:07.400 you should see that as a red flag too. Oh no, 0:14:07.440 --> 0:14:08.600 it's the same type of nigga. 0:14:08.679 --> 0:14:11.000 Oh hell no, uh uh hold up. 0:14:11.040 --> 0:14:13.000 I know this shit getting good, But listen to just 0:14:13.040 --> 0:14:14.480 a couple seconds of a commercial. 0:14:14.520 --> 0:14:15.680 If you love me, you'll listen. 0:14:16.760 --> 0:14:18.360 Yeah, it's a lot. It took a lot for me 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:20.840 to get to say that he acts like my ex. 0:14:21.120 --> 0:14:23.960 I'm having a conversation with him and I'm not even 0:14:24.080 --> 0:14:26.000 bringing up my ex, but I'm just educating him on 0:14:26.080 --> 0:14:29.760 myself and also about things that he do that I 0:14:29.800 --> 0:14:32.600 want to question and stuff like that. So you know, 0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:34.400 we would just have a conversation just that and the 0:14:34.400 --> 0:14:36.720 third and I would just notice, like small stuff he 0:14:36.760 --> 0:14:39.600 would do, like he would cut me off, or if 0:14:39.640 --> 0:14:42.600 I don't like something that he say, he'll just try 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:45.440 to sidetrack me, like okay, but he looks so nice, 0:14:45.440 --> 0:14:46.560 You're not going to talk to me, like why are 0:14:46.600 --> 0:14:47.240 you acting like that? 0:14:47.720 --> 0:14:50.160 And I'm like, he stop doing that, and he's like 0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:52.240 stop doing what? Like stop making it. 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:54.040 Seem like I'm crazy, Like I don't know what I'm 0:14:54.080 --> 0:14:57.360 talking about, Like yeah, absolutely. 0:14:56.960 --> 0:14:59.440 You know, and then he'll drag it on and drag 0:14:59.520 --> 0:15:00.360 it on, and. 0:15:00.280 --> 0:15:02.080 That's when I exploded, and I said, you're starting to 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:04.680 act like my ex, like, don't ever make me feel 0:15:04.720 --> 0:15:06.640 like I'm crazy and I don't know what I'm talking about. 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:09.280 I'm trying to educate you on how I am and 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:12.520 tell you about it, and then you're kind of dismissing 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:14.840 me because you don't want to face it or you 0:15:14.880 --> 0:15:15.600 don't want to hear about it. 0:15:15.640 --> 0:15:18.280 You don't want to hear about Yeah, you don't want 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:20.760 to hear about my ex. You don't want to hear 0:15:20.760 --> 0:15:21.400 about my ex. 0:15:21.320 --> 0:15:23.560 And you don't like want somebody tell you about yourself exactly, 0:15:23.560 --> 0:15:25.600 and it has nothing to do with my ex at all. 0:15:26.040 --> 0:15:29.640 But now, yeah, since you want to make it about 0:15:29.640 --> 0:15:31.560 my ex, you acting just like him. Yeah, and that's 0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:32.440 just how I felt about it. 0:15:32.840 --> 0:15:34.920 So what did he do when you said that? Did 0:15:34.920 --> 0:15:37.360 he stop talking to you? Or Oh, he was trying 0:15:37.360 --> 0:15:38.640 to kiss my ass about it? 0:15:38.880 --> 0:15:41.280 Because usually what I do when I'm feeling some type 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:44.120 of way, I back off. So he's literally just trying 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:46.680 to kiss my ass. Like, Okay, you know I didn't 0:15:46.680 --> 0:15:48.640 mean it like that. Because I stopped talking to him 0:15:48.680 --> 0:15:51.120 for maybe like a day, he started blowing me up, 0:15:51.280 --> 0:15:54.440 calling both my phones and just acting crazy. 0:15:54.840 --> 0:15:57.040 That's another thing in my exit. That's a red flag. Ladies. 0:15:57.080 --> 0:15:59.480 Don't let niggas call you. You know what I'm saying, 0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:02.160 Old ladies, if you got your phones, don't give them 0:16:02.160 --> 0:16:03.560 both none. By the fuck. 0:16:04.280 --> 0:16:08.440 How shit, I'm gonna be married and my nigma have 0:16:08.480 --> 0:16:09.200 both my numbers. 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:11.800 Shit, Please do you better not call me on this one? 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:15.480 Shit because husband's be calling a lot, not that I've 0:16:15.600 --> 0:16:18.960 ever known, because I don't have one shit. I think 0:16:19.000 --> 0:16:22.440 the question is being changed. Do you even think that 0:16:22.520 --> 0:16:25.520 I'm ready to date since I'm dealing with all this? 0:16:26.040 --> 0:16:28.960 Or should I just finish healing? 0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:32.160 Well, to answer the second question, You'll never finish healing 0:16:32.200 --> 0:16:35.080 because life goes on, and you know it'll be new problems. 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:37.680 Unless you bury the old ones and get them ironed 0:16:37.720 --> 0:16:40.720 out and put them under, you know, put them the rest, 0:16:40.760 --> 0:16:43.320 it's going to be new ones, So don't. I don't 0:16:43.320 --> 0:16:46.240 think it's any such thing as a fully healed person, 0:16:47.200 --> 0:16:49.440 because that would be a perfect person. You see what 0:16:49.440 --> 0:16:52.480 I'm saying, Well, they don't exist. We need some type 0:16:52.480 --> 0:16:54.840 of trial and tribulation. We need some type of obstacle 0:16:54.880 --> 0:16:58.120 because that's what makes us stronger. Ultimately, that's what our 0:16:58.200 --> 0:17:01.200 experiences in our different walks of life and our endurance 0:17:01.200 --> 0:17:02.560