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Speaker 1: Welcome to Can't Flee Reckless, the production of iHeartRadio and

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Speaker 1: The Black Effect, And.

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Speaker 2: Just like that, we're back on the air.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back to yet another Carefully Reckless episode with your

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Speaker 1: girl Jess Hilarious, where I'm fixing mess.

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Speaker 2: That's what I do. That's what I does.

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Speaker 1: Not only do I do it on The Black Effect

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Speaker 1: for Carefully Reckless on my own podcast, I do it

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Speaker 1: on Breakfast Club, on B E T and everywhere else.

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Speaker 1: You can listen to Breakfast Club back. Just make sure

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Speaker 1: you tune in every day. You know, I ain't knowing

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Speaker 1: it every day, but I will be, and.

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Speaker 2: I'm speaking it into existence. That's how you got it.

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Speaker 1: You gotta speak things as though they were speak as.

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Speaker 2: My bad Lord. I know that was in your good

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Speaker 2: old book.

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Speaker 1: I know it, but I don't really know it verbatim,

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Speaker 1: so I ain't even gonna touch it.

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Speaker 2: We're gonna jump straight in. Okay. So I've been getting

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Speaker 2: stories from everywhere.

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Speaker 1: Okay, now that I'm doing Breakfast Club and now that

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Speaker 1: I'm out and about, more and more people are asking

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Speaker 1: me in person. Oh, Kenny Kenn, I just had five

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Speaker 1: minutes your time, so you can hear me out fix

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Speaker 1: my mass. It was this lady at the airport, and

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Speaker 1: she asked me what should she do about this? I

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Speaker 1: was in Charlotte over the weekend and I met a

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Speaker 1: lady in the airport and she wanted to take a picture,

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Speaker 1: but she also said, can you help me with my mess?

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Speaker 1: I was like, I don't never help nobody in person.

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Speaker 1: I might have to charge you for that, and she

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Speaker 1: started laughing, but I could see that she was really

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Speaker 1: down or whatever. So she told me our story, and

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Speaker 1: she said, what do you do when you can't move

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Speaker 1: on from your ex and your ex can't move on

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Speaker 1: from you but they're in a new relationship. What what

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Speaker 1: do you mean?

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Speaker 2: What do you do?

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Speaker 1: You go get your man back, that's what you do,

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Speaker 1: because obviously he moved on a little bit too quick.

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Speaker 2: And that's what people do.

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Speaker 1: They they jump in relationships, they jump out of relationships,

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Speaker 1: and well, people do jumping it out. But this wasn't

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Speaker 1: her case. Her case was they were together for six

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Speaker 1: years and they were having a lot of problems or whatever,

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Speaker 1: so they were gonna take.

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Speaker 2: A break, but they still lived together. So that was

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Speaker 2: the thing. Now, separated living together.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't even date a guy that tells me that

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Speaker 1: he's separated, but he's still living with his girl. Now.

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Speaker 1: They weren't married, they were just boyfriend girlfriend for about six.

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Speaker 2: Years or whatever.

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Speaker 1: But their struggles is why they broke up. They both

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Speaker 1: were struggling, and that's what it can happen. You know, finances,

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Speaker 1: that shit can actually bring a wall up in a

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Speaker 1: relationship and drive two partners away from each other.

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Speaker 2: That shit would make you go crazy because if you

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Speaker 2: if you feel like you.

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Speaker 1: Can't financially provide for you or your family, or you

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Speaker 1: or your girl or you were your guy, it fucks

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Speaker 1: with you mentally, you know what I'm saying. And that shit,

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Speaker 1: that shit takes away from your confidence. It messes with

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Speaker 1: other areas like sex. You don't want to have sex,

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Speaker 1: no one. You can't get it up because you broke

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Speaker 1: you know, you can't get wet because.

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Speaker 2: You're thinking about what you're gonna do. Your bills are.

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Speaker 1: Going unpaid and all that type of stuff. So they

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Speaker 1: fell up on hard times and they broke up, and

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Speaker 1: I guess he still needed that fulfillment from somewhere. He

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Speaker 1: ended up meeting somebody getting into a relationship ship three

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Speaker 1: months after the breakup, and then shortly after, admits to

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Speaker 1: his ex that he made a mistake, and that's when

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Speaker 1: he told her, I'm in a whole relationship and I

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Speaker 1: don't know.

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Speaker 2: How to get out of it.

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Speaker 1: So he came to her to ask her for advice

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Speaker 1: to get out of the relationship with the new girl

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Speaker 1: so he can be back with her. What the hell

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Speaker 1: is going on? Just break it off with that girl,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I told her to tell him,

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Speaker 1: just break it off with the girl, like you just

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Speaker 1: got to sit down and just be honest. Like he

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Speaker 1: was honest enough with you to tell you all of

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Speaker 1: that shit. He was honest.

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Speaker 2: I liked that.

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Speaker 1: That's how you know they were friends. That's how you

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Speaker 1: know there was a strong foundation. A lot of people

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Speaker 1: don't have that they were friends. Some people would be

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Speaker 1: half scared to death to go to their ex who

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Speaker 1: they're still in love with and tell them, yo, I

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Speaker 1: moved too fast. I got in a fucking relationship and

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Speaker 1: I'm not over you, and I don't know what to do.

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Speaker 1: How can I break it off with this girl because

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Speaker 1: I don't want to hurt her feelings because she she's

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Speaker 1: a very very sweet girl. And you, being that ex girlfriend,

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Speaker 1: really give the guy advice.

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Speaker 2: That's a bit step.

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Speaker 1: That takes a lot of patience and a lot of

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Speaker 1: damn dignity and also no ego and no pride, because

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Speaker 1: that that could never work with a motherfucker with pride,

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Speaker 1: could never work. Pride be so damn big, ego, be

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Speaker 1: so damn big. Oh he got me fucked up, be

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Speaker 1: so damn big. But I really liked this. I like

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Speaker 1: that he was very, very honest with her, came to

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Speaker 1: her about the shit and was like, Yo, what should

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Speaker 1: I do? And she didn't know, so when she saw me,

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Speaker 1: that's what she asked me. It was a two part

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Speaker 1: She was like, I don't know what the advice is.

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Speaker 1: He asked me for advice on how to break up

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Speaker 1: with her, and I'm asking you because I didn't know

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Speaker 1: what to tell him.

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Speaker 2: And then I'm also asking you, how do you move now?

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Speaker 1: How can we like, how do you just deal with

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Speaker 1: this situation? You know? So that's how you deal with it?

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Speaker 1: Get your man back obviously, you know he loves you,

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Speaker 1: and you left him. Y'all just needed to get over

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Speaker 1: whatever y'all needed to get over. Sometimes the end is

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Speaker 1: not always the end, you know. Sometimes it's just to

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Speaker 1: be continued. Y'all need to do y'all best team up

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Speaker 1: to break up with that girl together, so y'all can

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Speaker 1: continue get back with me, get back with me.

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Speaker 2: Because you said you was gonna listen.

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Speaker 1: I told you I was gonna talk about your story

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Speaker 1: on my podcast, So make sure you follow up and

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Speaker 1: you update me so I can update my listeners. Moving on,

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Speaker 1: So I did Breakfast Club a couple of days ago,

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Speaker 1: and you know I fixed mess on that now. As

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Speaker 1: I said to y'all previously, that was this girl that

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Speaker 1: called up. And I ain't gonna say this was dumb,

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Speaker 1: but sometimes people just.

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Speaker 2: Need to hear themselves talk.

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Speaker 1: That's why I like when y'all give me y'all mess,

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Speaker 1: because when it's borderline obvious, what the fuck you need

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Speaker 1: to do? Sometimes you just need to hear your story

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Speaker 1: told back to you. So this girl called up and said,

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Speaker 1: I wonder why I keep ghosting men.

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Speaker 2: I never make it past the talking stage, right.

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Speaker 1: So I was like, okay, okay, okay, trying to figure

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Speaker 1: it out because when people say that I never make

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Speaker 1: it past the talking stage, you know what it is, right,

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Speaker 1: It ain't them as you because you said you never

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Speaker 1: make it back so that means almost every guy never

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Speaker 1: makes a pass to talking stage because you ghost them.

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Speaker 1: What about them makes you want to ghost them? She said, Well,

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Speaker 1: it's only the guys that I like. I don't ghost

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Speaker 1: the guys that I really like. It just keeps happening

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Speaker 1: with the guys that chase me, because you know, I

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Speaker 1: got a nice ross that I got a nice little

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Speaker 1: thought in five. First of all, baby girl, back it up.

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Speaker 2: DA's your handsome right there? Girl.

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Speaker 1: You said you ghost the niggas that be chasing you,

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Speaker 1: but you don't ghost the niggas that you really like,

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Speaker 1: So that means you're chasing behind somebody too. That's how

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Speaker 1: it always go. The good girls always want the niggas

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Speaker 1: who really don't want them for them. I'm not saying

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Speaker 1: these niggas don't want you, the ones that you really like.

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Speaker 1: But you like a guy to play on to get you,

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Speaker 1: like a guy to act like he don't like you.

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Speaker 1: And I think a celebrity just said that.

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Speaker 2: One of Ruby Rose just said that.

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Speaker 1: She said she quote unquote, I don't know, well, don't

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Speaker 1: quote me at all.

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Speaker 2: Allegedly.

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Speaker 1: I think Ruby Rose they says she like guys who

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Speaker 1: don't like her back or who act like they don't

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Speaker 1: like her back.

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Speaker 2: Huh, you want to get nigga, don't you shit? What

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Speaker 2: you mean? You want a nigga to act like you

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Speaker 2: don't like you?

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Speaker 1: I excales, I f a you're talking about. So that's

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Speaker 1: not the right way to go. And that also means

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Speaker 1: that you like toxic shit because you like for a

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Speaker 1: motherfucker to feel one way but act another. That's toxic

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Speaker 1: as shit, girl, and I think that's mental as hell.

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Speaker 2: Don't do that now.

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Speaker 1: The guys that are chasing you, they probably wanting it

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Speaker 1: downing you, probably calling you and texting you every day,

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Speaker 1: every doing everything that you want from these niggas that

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Speaker 1: could care less. That's probably dicking you down every now

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Speaker 1: and then. And that's probably a smutting you out. And

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Speaker 1: the reason why I say smut because you having sex

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Speaker 1: with all the ones you like, but you ain't trying

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Speaker 1: to give no pussy to the ones that are chasing you.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy.

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Speaker 1: How about you stop to chase, turn around for a

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Speaker 1: second and pick one of them niggas who chasing you

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Speaker 1: and see how.

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Speaker 2: It actually goes.

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Speaker 1: That's why you don't get past the talking stage, because

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Speaker 1: nigga's too soft for you. The niggas that chase you

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Speaker 1: too pressed and too and too soft probably for you.

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Speaker 1: Get one of the niggas a chance, girl, I'm telling

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Speaker 1: you'll probably be right with kids. Settle down somewhere, and

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Speaker 1: you'll be writing me next year and talk about Jess.

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Speaker 2: Listening to you.

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Speaker 1: It's the best thing I ever did in my life.

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Speaker 1: So get back at me, girl, Get back simmy. Now

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Speaker 1: we got a commercial, and if you click off of

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Speaker 1: this podcast, I swear i'mnna beat your ass.

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Speaker 2: Listen.

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Speaker 1: Moving on, So last week we had somebody in person.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna do one every so often. We have another

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Speaker 1: person in person today that is gonna allow me to

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Speaker 1: try to fix their mess.

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Speaker 2: I ain't gonna let you know who they are.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna let you know what they are because

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Speaker 1: everybody is anonymous on this show.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, take it away.

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Speaker 3: Hey, jazz girl, I'm urt Okay. So I just got

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Speaker 3: of a four year relationship. Wow, it was a few

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Speaker 3: months ago, so you can still say it's fresh.

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Speaker 2: And I just started being okay with dating a game

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Speaker 2: and I started talking to this guy.

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Speaker 3: And you know, when you're starting to get into an relationship,

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Speaker 3: you want to let them know what you've been through,

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Speaker 3: just so you won't go through it again and give

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Speaker 3: them more insight on you. So I'm letting him know

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Speaker 3: what I've been through with my ex, and he's trying

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Speaker 3: to say that I'm comparing him to my ex, and

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Speaker 3: it's not.

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Speaker 2: That at all.

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Speaker 3: It's just literally, I don't want to repeat the same

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Speaker 3: cycle that I've been through with my ex.

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Speaker 2: Is traumatizing, you know, and it triggers me.

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Speaker 3: So I just want to know how can I communicate

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Speaker 3: with him without making it seem like I'm comparing him

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Speaker 3: to my ex.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So there's two ways that that could be taken.

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Speaker 1: There's two perspectives on that, because while you don't want

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Speaker 1: to be compared and people actually do it, sometimes you

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Speaker 1: do have to let that.

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Speaker 2: Person know what you just went through, not only so.

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Speaker 1: They won't do it, but so they can handle you accordingly,

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Speaker 1: they can handle you different, and so they can be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: they can have a reference if you are triggered by

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Speaker 1: something or if something happens, it's like, oh man, she

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Speaker 1: went through this so or he went through this, so

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Speaker 1: this is why they act like that. Okay, and then

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Speaker 1: all right, now we're going to try to break that

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Speaker 1: and get them out of that. How can I reassure

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Speaker 1: this person that that shit ain't gonna happen over here

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Speaker 1: because now you in good hands, now, you know.

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Speaker 2: I think it's a meet in the middle type of situation.

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Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, how often would you bring

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Speaker 1: your ex up or your passed up?

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Speaker 2: Because that also plays a part too.

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Speaker 1: I remember when I was talking to this guy and

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Speaker 1: he brought up his ex every day, not because he

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Speaker 1: wanted her, not because he liked her, you know, or

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Speaker 1: he missed her. He bought her up every day because

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Speaker 1: he was just that fucked up over the relationship that

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Speaker 1: almost everything reminded him of being with her, even when

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Speaker 1: he was talking to me certain things. You know. She

254
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Speaker 1: was also an aggressive person, and you know I'm not always.

255
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Speaker 2: Aggressive, but my voice very aggressive off the rip.

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Speaker 1: Especially if you don't know me, you can take every

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Speaker 1: almost everything I say the wrong way, you know what

258
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Speaker 1: I mean.

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Speaker 2: And I'm not even from New York, you know, we

260
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Speaker 2: from Baltimore, so you.

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Speaker 1: Know, but I would tell him, y'all, I'm tired of

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Speaker 1: him about your fucking ex.

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Speaker 2: I don't like this shit. I'm not used to this shit.

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Speaker 1: Nobody has ever spoken on the X so fucking much

265
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Speaker 1: do you fucking want her back? Or because honestly, like

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Speaker 1: I was so fed up, and I was so like

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Speaker 1: offended and defensive, Like I was just very like not

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Speaker 1: even trying to look at it in a way of

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Speaker 1: oh no, he's kind of telling me what he went through, and.

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Speaker 2: He's just very very fucked up. It was just very severe.

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Speaker 1: How often you know, would you bring up your past

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Speaker 1: or your ex to this guy?

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Speaker 3: To be honest, not that much, but I noticed it

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Speaker 3: started becoming more frequent when he started acting like my ex.

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Speaker 3: He can start, you know, doing malicious stuff.

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Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

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Speaker 3: It would be the same shit that my ex used

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Speaker 3: to do, and I would bring it up and I'm like, okay,

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Speaker 3: that's the shit that ran me away from him. That's

280
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:52,880
Speaker 3: shit I don't like. It makes me feel uncomfortable. So

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Speaker 3: I fall back and he's like.

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Speaker 2: I'm not your ex. I'm not your ex, you know,

283
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Speaker 2: stop comparing me to him. I don't do the same

284
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Speaker 2: but like him, Yeah, you know what I'm saying.

285
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Speaker 3: So that's what I'm trying to battle with and get

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Speaker 3: him to understand.

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Speaker 2: So you actually said the words, you're acting like him.

288
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Speaker 1: Yes, Oh my god.

289
00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:19,960
Speaker 2: No, you're not supposed to say that because all right,

290
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Speaker 2: so all right, we'll stay asked this.

291
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Speaker 1: Tables were reversed, right, tables returned, and he told you,

292
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Speaker 1: you know, you act like my ax.

293
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Speaker 2: You would go to fuck off?

294
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Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, it's a better way to say it.

295
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,520
Speaker 2: It's a better way to say it.

296
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Speaker 1: And to be honest if the nigga act like niggagg

297
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Speaker 1: like X to be honest with you. But a better

298
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Speaker 1: way of saying it is I've been through this before.

299
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Speaker 2: I've been through this before, and.

300
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Speaker 1: That's why I made myself single. That's why I left

301
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Speaker 1: my last relationship. I don't want to.

302
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Speaker 2: Go through this no more.

303
00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:57,040
Speaker 1: I'm not.

304
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Speaker 2: This is a trigger for me. This scares me. I'm not.

305
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,360
Speaker 2: I didn't want something not doing that again, I'm not.

306
00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:06,920
Speaker 1: He's still being compared, but it's not yo, you act

307
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,559
Speaker 1: just like him or you act like my ex. Because

308
00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:12,040
Speaker 1: if this is a man that's trying to build something

309
00:13:12,080 --> 00:13:15,720
Speaker 1: with you, regardless of him acting like your ass, that

310
00:13:15,760 --> 00:13:17,920
Speaker 1: could drive a man crazy, that could fuck with their

311
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:20,400
Speaker 1: self esteem, and that could always put in the back

312
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Speaker 1: as mine. She might really fucking go be back with

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Speaker 1: that nigga, because if I act like that, nigga.

314
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Speaker 2: She might as well just go be back with him.

315
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Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying. You know, and literally you

316
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Speaker 2: saying the same thing.

317
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Speaker 1: If you gonna act like my ax, I could have

318
00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,360
Speaker 1: just stayed with my fucking ex. But that's not what

319
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Speaker 1: I wanted to do. I don't want that type of shit. No,

320
00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:44,280
Speaker 1: more like I don't want to be treated that way.

321
00:13:44,280 --> 00:13:47,400
Speaker 1: I didn't like this part about the relationship. So you

322
00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,520
Speaker 1: either got to like compromise with me, change that or

323
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,280
Speaker 1: that's it. But y'all want in a relationship. Y'all were

324
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Speaker 1: just talking and because I know you said you didn't

325
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Speaker 1: even want to be in a relationship. Yeah, and then

326
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Speaker 1: that was early on, so he probably felt like on

327
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,400
Speaker 1: his end, that's a red flag. She already saying, I

328
00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:04,880
Speaker 1: act like I asked and all of that. But then

329
00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,400
Speaker 1: you should see that as a red flag too. Oh no,

330
00:14:07,440 --> 00:14:08,600
Speaker 1: it's the same type of nigga.

331
00:14:08,679 --> 00:14:11,000
Speaker 2: Oh hell no, uh uh hold up.

332
00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,000
Speaker 1: I know this shit getting good, But listen to just

333
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,480
Speaker 1: a couple seconds of a commercial.

334
00:14:14,520 --> 00:14:15,680
Speaker 2: If you love me, you'll listen.

335
00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a lot. It took a lot for me

336
00:14:18,480 --> 00:14:20,840
Speaker 3: to get to say that he acts like my ex.

337
00:14:21,120 --> 00:14:23,960
Speaker 3: I'm having a conversation with him and I'm not even

338
00:14:24,080 --> 00:14:26,000
Speaker 3: bringing up my ex, but I'm just educating him on

339
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:29,760
Speaker 3: myself and also about things that he do that I

340
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,600
Speaker 3: want to question and stuff like that. So you know,

341
00:14:32,640 --> 00:14:34,400
Speaker 3: we would just have a conversation just that and the

342
00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:36,720
Speaker 3: third and I would just notice, like small stuff he

343
00:14:36,760 --> 00:14:39,600
Speaker 3: would do, like he would cut me off, or if

344
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:42,600
Speaker 3: I don't like something that he say, he'll just try

345
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,440
Speaker 3: to sidetrack me, like okay, but he looks so nice,

346
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:46,560
Speaker 3: You're not going to talk to me, like why are

347
00:14:46,600 --> 00:14:47,240
Speaker 3: you acting like that?

348
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:50,160
Speaker 2: And I'm like, he stop doing that, and he's like

349
00:14:50,280 --> 00:14:52,240
Speaker 2: stop doing what? Like stop making it.

350
00:14:52,240 --> 00:14:54,040
Speaker 3: Seem like I'm crazy, Like I don't know what I'm

351
00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:57,360
Speaker 3: talking about, Like yeah, absolutely.

352
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,440
Speaker 2: You know, and then he'll drag it on and drag

353
00:14:59,520 --> 00:15:00,360
Speaker 2: it on, and.

354
00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:02,080
Speaker 3: That's when I exploded, and I said, you're starting to

355
00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:04,680
Speaker 3: act like my ex, like, don't ever make me feel

356
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,640
Speaker 3: like I'm crazy and I don't know what I'm talking about.

357
00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,280
Speaker 3: I'm trying to educate you on how I am and

358
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,520
Speaker 3: tell you about it, and then you're kind of dismissing

359
00:15:12,560 --> 00:15:14,840
Speaker 3: me because you don't want to face it or you

360
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:15,600
Speaker 3: don't want to hear about it.

361
00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,280
Speaker 2: You don't want to hear about Yeah, you don't want

362
00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:20,760
Speaker 2: to hear about my ex. You don't want to hear

363
00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:21,400
Speaker 2: about my ex.

364
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,560
Speaker 1: And you don't like want somebody tell you about yourself exactly,

365
00:15:23,560 --> 00:15:25,600
Speaker 1: and it has nothing to do with my ex at all.

366
00:15:26,040 --> 00:15:29,640
Speaker 1: But now, yeah, since you want to make it about

367
00:15:29,640 --> 00:15:31,560
Speaker 1: my ex, you acting just like him. Yeah, and that's

368
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:32,440
Speaker 1: just how I felt about it.

369
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:34,920
Speaker 2: So what did he do when you said that? Did

370
00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,360
Speaker 2: he stop talking to you? Or Oh, he was trying

371
00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:38,640
Speaker 2: to kiss my ass about it?

372
00:15:38,880 --> 00:15:41,280
Speaker 3: Because usually what I do when I'm feeling some type

373
00:15:41,280 --> 00:15:44,120
Speaker 3: of way, I back off. So he's literally just trying

374
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,680
Speaker 3: to kiss my ass. Like, Okay, you know I didn't

375
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,640
Speaker 3: mean it like that. Because I stopped talking to him

376
00:15:48,680 --> 00:15:51,120
Speaker 3: for maybe like a day, he started blowing me up,

377
00:15:51,280 --> 00:15:54,440
Speaker 3: calling both my phones and just acting crazy.

378
00:15:54,840 --> 00:15:57,040
Speaker 2: That's another thing in my exit. That's a red flag. Ladies.

379
00:15:57,080 --> 00:15:59,480
Speaker 2: Don't let niggas call you. You know what I'm saying,

380
00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:02,160
Speaker 2: Old ladies, if you got your phones, don't give them

381
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:03,560
Speaker 2: both none. By the fuck.

382
00:16:04,280 --> 00:16:08,440
Speaker 1: How shit, I'm gonna be married and my nigma have

383
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:09,200
Speaker 1: both my numbers.

384
00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,800
Speaker 2: Shit, Please do you better not call me on this one?

385
00:16:11,920 --> 00:16:15,480
Speaker 1: Shit because husband's be calling a lot, not that I've

386
00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:18,960
Speaker 1: ever known, because I don't have one shit. I think

387
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:22,440
Speaker 1: the question is being changed. Do you even think that

388
00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:25,520
Speaker 1: I'm ready to date since I'm dealing with all this?

389
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:28,960
Speaker 2: Or should I just finish healing?

390
00:16:29,560 --> 00:16:32,160
Speaker 1: Well, to answer the second question, You'll never finish healing

391
00:16:32,200 --> 00:16:35,080
Speaker 1: because life goes on, and you know it'll be new problems.

392
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,680
Speaker 1: Unless you bury the old ones and get them ironed

393
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,720
Speaker 1: out and put them under, you know, put them the rest,

394
00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,320
Speaker 1: it's going to be new ones, So don't. I don't

395
00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:46,240
Speaker 1: think it's any such thing as a fully healed person,

396
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,440
Speaker 1: because that would be a perfect person. You see what

397
00:16:49,440 --> 00:16:52,480
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Well, they don't exist. We need some type

398
00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:54,840
Speaker 1: of trial and tribulation. We need some type of obstacle

399
00:16:54,880 --> 00:16:58,120
Speaker 1: because that's what makes us stronger. Ultimately, that's what our

400
00:16:58,200 --> 00:17:01,200
Speaker 1: experiences in our different walks of life and our endurance

401
00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:02,560
Speaker 1: and what we can come up out of. And that's

402
00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:06,159
Speaker 1: why MY biggest attribute is resilience. How I can just

403
00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:09,320
Speaker 1: bounce back from anything. I don't think you're ready to

404
00:17:09,359 --> 00:17:11,200
Speaker 1: dig yet. To answer the first part of a question,

405
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,320
Speaker 1: I don't think you are, and I think you already

406
00:17:13,359 --> 00:17:13,760
Speaker 1: know that.

407
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:15,960
Speaker 2: But the idea of.

408
00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:18,760
Speaker 1: Love and loving someone and having someone love you is

409
00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:22,080
Speaker 1: always beautiful and it always seems like it'll make sense,

410
00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:24,880
Speaker 1: and it seemed like that's what you want. But how

411
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:28,800
Speaker 1: has your last relationship even changed you? Did you even

412
00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,760
Speaker 1: think about going through a whole phase? Did you say,

413
00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,159
Speaker 1: I want to date a couple of niggas, I want

414
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,000
Speaker 1: to have a roster people.

415
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:34,719
Speaker 2: I just talked to you.

416
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,879
Speaker 1: I want to just be by myself until maybe we

417
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:38,560
Speaker 1: can figure it out.

418
00:17:38,600 --> 00:17:40,720
Speaker 2: Maybe we won't figure it out, or when we do.

419
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:43,280
Speaker 1: You know, I went and dated other people, so now

420
00:17:43,359 --> 00:17:46,320
Speaker 1: I know that he's for me, or like, how do

421
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,040
Speaker 1: you feel in that aspect?

422
00:17:49,320 --> 00:17:52,880
Speaker 3: Well, I did want to just, you know, just take

423
00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:56,000
Speaker 3: my mind off it, like have distractions and everything. But

424
00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,119
Speaker 3: sometimes I do get connected to it absolutely, and I

425
00:17:59,119 --> 00:18:01,439
Speaker 3: don't want to talk to nobody else. It's it's a

426
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,240
Speaker 3: lot of work talking to a lot of people, having

427
00:18:04,280 --> 00:18:06,640
Speaker 3: a roster you didn't having two phones, that's a lot,

428
00:18:06,800 --> 00:18:10,199
Speaker 3: I know. So I was just talking to him and

429
00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,240
Speaker 3: then he started acting like that, and then it was

430
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,240
Speaker 3: so easy for me to fall back because he's not

431
00:18:14,359 --> 00:18:16,720
Speaker 3: my ex right, I'm not used to him, and he's

432
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:18,920
Speaker 3: starting to act like my ex. So it's like I'm

433
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,159
Speaker 3: used to dealing with the bullshit with my ex, but

434
00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:25,040
Speaker 3: it's but getting it from another person in the same stuff.

435
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:27,000
Speaker 3: It's like, I don't have to deal with this for you. Yeah,

436
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:29,440
Speaker 3: I was just dealing with this with him, So it's

437
00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:30,800
Speaker 3: like on to the next.

438
00:18:30,920 --> 00:18:31,120
Speaker 2: Yeah.

439
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,239
Speaker 1: Now, if you talk to somebody else and they end

440
00:18:35,320 --> 00:18:37,439
Speaker 1: up doing the same thing, it's going to be the

441
00:18:37,440 --> 00:18:39,800
Speaker 1: type of guys your track because you know what you

442
00:18:39,880 --> 00:18:46,040
Speaker 1: are like to help people, like to fix like brokenness

443
00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:49,680
Speaker 1: in some sort of way. So yeah, like you, it'll

444
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,280
Speaker 1: be with your track more so because you have a

445
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:56,600
Speaker 1: big ass, hard you keep getting these batter than scoring people. Yeah,

446
00:18:57,080 --> 00:19:00,000
Speaker 1: what about girls, y'all? Think about some girls?

447
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,639
Speaker 3: Actually, no, I got a few honeys on my roster

448
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,480
Speaker 3: right now, and you know what this is over, I

449
00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:10,160
Speaker 3: ain't doing this shit no with a few honeys.

450
00:19:10,080 --> 00:19:13,159
Speaker 2: After you sitting there and fucking just yeah, but you

451
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:18,639
Speaker 2: know I'm not really gay? Oh so you so you fake? No? Listen?

452
00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:20,560
Speaker 2: Oh I'm confused.

453
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,919
Speaker 1: Can you see why people stay anonymous? Then and be

454
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,480
Speaker 1: like her fake gay ass?

455
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:28,280
Speaker 2: You bring a fake gaze on a community, You bring

456
00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:29,840
Speaker 2: a fake gaze on the podcast.

457
00:19:29,920 --> 00:19:31,760
Speaker 1: Now, where you can just bring a real gay up dad,

458
00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,639
Speaker 1: but you're scared of the real gaze. It's like, no,

459
00:19:33,760 --> 00:19:36,040
Speaker 1: you're at my show every weekend. I ain't scared of y'all.

460
00:19:36,080 --> 00:19:36,879
Speaker 1: I love y'all.

461
00:19:37,320 --> 00:19:39,879
Speaker 2: I love, love, love y'all. So listen.

462
00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,880
Speaker 1: That is the end of the episode. I ain't got

463
00:19:43,880 --> 00:19:46,280
Speaker 1: no advice for this damn girl, because I.

464
00:19:46,280 --> 00:19:47,800
Speaker 2: Like what you're doing. I love what she's doing.

465
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:51,080
Speaker 1: She's dating. There's nothing wrong with that. She's fucking dating.

466
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,439
Speaker 1: People think that dating is when you're with a person. No,

467
00:19:54,600 --> 00:19:57,240
Speaker 1: that's in a relationship. When you're dating, dating is just

468
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,439
Speaker 1: seeing who you like, getting to know a person, and

469
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,359
Speaker 1: you can be more than one person. You don't have

470
00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:04,720
Speaker 1: to be having sex with more than one person. If

471
00:20:04,760 --> 00:20:07,240
Speaker 1: you all whatever makes your book float. But I'm saying

472
00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:11,520
Speaker 1: everybody don't always have to date exclusively. Dating is you

473
00:20:11,960 --> 00:20:14,760
Speaker 1: seeing what works for you. You're seeing if this guy works

474
00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:16,280
Speaker 1: for you. If this don't work, you go on to

475
00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,040
Speaker 1: date next Friday with another dude that don't work, you

476
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:21,600
Speaker 1: go on to date tried, you know, whatever you want

477
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:25,160
Speaker 1: to do. People should be able to date, date, date

478
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:29,440
Speaker 1: until they really find that one. And so I don't

479
00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:31,600
Speaker 1: have any advice for I think she's fixing the own mess.

480
00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:34,679
Speaker 1: You know, keep on telling these motherfuckers what you're going

481
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:37,320
Speaker 1: to stand for, what's not appropriate, which you will not take.

482
00:20:37,359 --> 00:20:40,399
Speaker 1: Stand up for yourself because in your last relationship you

483
00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:42,639
Speaker 1: were taking for granted a lot. You know what I'm saying,

484
00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:45,520
Speaker 1: and you know what you ain't about to take no more.

485
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:47,160
Speaker 1: You know, I'm not I took that from this guy.

486
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,240
Speaker 1: I'm not taking this from you. So You're starting to

487
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 1: remind me of my ex. And I'm out of here

488
00:20:51,880 --> 00:20:53,439
Speaker 1: on that because I could have just stayed with him

489
00:20:53,480 --> 00:20:55,760
Speaker 1: for this shit. I get it, and I love it.

490
00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:58,800
Speaker 1: You are straight up no chaser with a girl love that.

491
00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:02,240
Speaker 1: Now we come to the end of another carefully Breakfast

492
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:05,320
Speaker 1: podcast episode with your girl Jess Hilarius, where she's fixing

493
00:21:05,480 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 1: mess day in and day out, and you can catch

494
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:11,159
Speaker 1: this podcast each and every Wednesday on iHeart or wherever

495
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:14,320
Speaker 1: else you listen to your podcast. Also, catch my new

496
00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:19,119
Speaker 1: docuseriies on YouTube. It's called The More You Don't Know

497
00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,240
Speaker 1: and More it spelled like my last name m O

498
00:21:22,240 --> 00:21:24,920
Speaker 1: O r E. Check it out each and every Monday

499
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:29,119
Speaker 1: night at eight pm. We got new episodes dropping and

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00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:30,640
Speaker 1: in my deepest Pam voice.

501
00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:31,880
Speaker 2: I see you next week.

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00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:32,600
Speaker 3: Yes.

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00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:43,920
Speaker 2: Can't.

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00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:46,840
Speaker 1: Fully Reckless is a production of iHeart Radio and The

505
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:50,240
Speaker 1: Black Effect. For more podcasts from iHeart Radio, visit the

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00:22:50,240 --> 00:22:54,080
Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your

507
00:22:54,080 --> 00:22:54,760
Speaker 1: favorite shows.