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Speaker 1: It's a fresh show. This is what's trending sports quickly.

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Speaker 1: Jason Brown, the Rams won last night. That was your pick,

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Speaker 1: which means that you did better with the picks than

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Speaker 1: Bellahamin did. Wow, he wants to actually be a sports person. Oh,

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Speaker 1: I feel bad, but Sean McVay, I mean, when you're good,

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Speaker 1: you're good, though, you shouldn't feel bad for your excellence.

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Speaker 2: Okay, well, thank you.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. And Mike McCarthy will not return as a Cowboys coach.

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Speaker 1: Why is this important? Because Deon Sanders might replace him?

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Speaker 1: They were saying coach Prime. I don't know if that

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Speaker 1: what really happened, but they're talking about it. And then

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Speaker 1: Mike McCarthy, who used to coach the Packers, might wind

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Speaker 1: up being the coach of the Bears, which would be

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Speaker 1: something Michael. There was a man named Mike McCarthy used

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Speaker 1: to work here. It turns out it wasn't the same guy. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that guy tried to ask you to day, didn't he?

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Speaker 1: Who isn't that the guy who asked you on a

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Speaker 1: date one time? I thought you just said texted Kaylin?

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Speaker 1: What did you mean?

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Speaker 3: No?

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Speaker 4: I said, who I said? He texted Kayleb Like joking

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Speaker 4: about that.

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Speaker 1: Pray.

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Speaker 2: No, I don't know where McCarthy is.

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Speaker 1: I thought there was a guy that worked here. I

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Speaker 1: don't know who it was. Never mind, it wasn't Mike McCarthy.

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Speaker 1: I thought there was a guy that worked here that

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Speaker 1: asked you on to day. They've probably been several, but anyway,

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Speaker 1: we don't talk.

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Speaker 4: About it's not name.

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Speaker 1: We all just watched the video. I know it would

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Speaker 1: take too long. It would take it would take longer

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Speaker 1: than he keeps talking about all the fish that she

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Speaker 1: won't eat. We just watched the sexual harassment video. You're

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Speaker 1: not supposed to do that, Okay. You can't be asking

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Speaker 1: people out around here. Yeah, don't do that, yea. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: So people stop asking me out because I'm just not

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to go. I watched the video. I'm

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Speaker 1: very worried about him. Yeah, but Dean Sanders, the University

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Speaker 1: of Colorado coach, might be considered for the Dallas Cowboys job.

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Speaker 1: So we'll see. The Palasage fire has covered over twenty

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Speaker 1: three thousand acres and it was only fourteen percent contained

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Speaker 1: as of yesterday. They eating fire has burned over fourteen

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Speaker 1: thousand acres and was thirty three percent contained. As of yesterday,

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Speaker 1: the two fires have destroyed around twelve thousand structures so far,

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Speaker 1: and there are lawsuits now. Southern California Edison now has

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Speaker 1: four lawsuits against it overclaims that it's electrical equipment is

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Speaker 1: response for starting one of the wildfires in the LA area.

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Speaker 1: Also in fire news, there are people who are some

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Speaker 1: of the worst people ever. They're looting homes dressed as firefighters.

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Speaker 1: So what is lower than looting homes evacuated amid the

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Speaker 1: LA wildfires with people who are losing everything that they

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Speaker 1: have or potentially losing everything they have. How about looting

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Speaker 1: the homes well dressed as a firefighter. Police say at

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Speaker 1: least one of the dozens of looting suspects arrested over

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Speaker 1: the weekend was in disguise. We are turning him over

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Speaker 1: to LAPD because he was dressed like a fireman and

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Speaker 1: he was not, said the sheriff about the guy who

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Speaker 1: was arrested in malibuom he got caught burglarizing a home.

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Speaker 1: So those are issues that our frontline deputies and police

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Speaker 1: officers are dealing with. Also, there's a thing called the

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Speaker 1: b Platoon that's saving bees from the LA fires in

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Speaker 1: response to the destructive wildfires happening. They are, there's an

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Speaker 1: organization called the b Platoon that's stepping into help. The

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Speaker 1: nonprofit group out of Davis focuses on assisting beekey pers

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Speaker 1: who have been affected by the disasters. Over one hundred

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Speaker 1: bee keepers from the Pacific Palisades in nearby areas had

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Speaker 1: to evacuate. The Bee Platoon will remove hives out of

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Speaker 1: the way of firefighters and other emergency personnel. They'll also

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Speaker 1: safely move bee hives out of harm's way and support

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Speaker 1: beekeepers and finding shelter for their bees or evacuating them

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Speaker 1: as needed. They're also planning to return in February to

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Speaker 1: help set up the hives again. The bees. Hey lady

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Speaker 1: on TikTok, I hope she's okay. Oh, she's in California. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: the bees. You ever seen her?

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Speaker 5: Yeah?

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Speaker 6: Yeah, I know because you because of TikTok another day

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Speaker 6: with saving the bees and she says it like that too.

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Speaker 1: I hope, hope, hope she's well, okay, can do you

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Speaker 1: want to explain what Red notice to everybody? Yes? Well

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Speaker 1: I figured you would know.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a new app that is waiting on us.

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Speaker 1: That's what I figured you were already on it, so.

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Speaker 2: I'll pull up.

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Speaker 7: Actually I'm not there yet because I am going what

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Speaker 7: I've noticed, I'm going through the stages of grief with TikTok.

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Speaker 7: Name today is denial. Oh, I am in full denial

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Speaker 7: that it's actually going away. Yeah, so I can't planned

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Speaker 7: for the future because I don't believe this is this

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Speaker 7: is actually our reality. But you know, if you're passing

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Speaker 7: me on that Red Note is the new app, the

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Speaker 7: new hotness that is waiting for us. They've actually I've

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Speaker 7: heard the CEO of the app drop the video to

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Speaker 7: welcome all Americans as they begin to join.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so, ahead of a looming US van on TikTok,

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Speaker 1: content creators have been flocking to Red Note as well

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Speaker 1: as Lemon and Eight, which is TikTok's sister app. So

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Speaker 1: it's a dynamic lifestyle platform out of China for young

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Speaker 1: people to share experiences, explore a real, beautiful and diverse world,

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Speaker 1: and find the lifestyle they desire. It's just if it's

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Speaker 1: in China that it's gonna have the same problem.

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Speaker 4: I am not doing that, and they're going to go

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Speaker 4: after next.

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Speaker 2: But that's the whole that's the whole purpose.

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Speaker 7: Of everybody joining it because they're trying to troll the

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Speaker 7: Supreme Court, basically saying like, oh, you're going after TikTok,

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Speaker 7: well we'll go join another app from China and.

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Speaker 2: Make you go through this whole process all over again.

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Speaker 7: And it's actually, I think, like the number one app

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Speaker 7: in the App Store right now because so many people

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Speaker 7: are downloading it.

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Speaker 1: Did you see the video I sent you last night?

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Speaker 1: It's like like former million dollar creators now working at

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Speaker 1: Applebee's And it was like a girl like standing there

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Speaker 1: like doing a little dance and that dude. It is sad,

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Speaker 1: but like we we knew this was possible. This has

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Speaker 1: happened in other ways with other things. I mean, if

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Speaker 1: you thought you were once a Vine star, you know

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Speaker 1: Vine's gone or whatever. So I'm just saying, like, you

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Speaker 1: gotta you gotta make sure you're constantly No, there's a

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Speaker 1: lot of really good things having Like this dude. I

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Speaker 1: don't know if you guys are familiar with the SB

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Speaker 1: mowing guy, the guy who does he most people's launch

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Speaker 1: for free. So he's engaged right now with this older woman.

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Speaker 1: I don't know the whole story, but like here's an

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Speaker 1: example of why TikTok shouldn't go away like this dude.

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Speaker 1: He goes to people's houses and he and he like

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Speaker 1: that are just overgrown, and a lot of times it's

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Speaker 1: old people or they don't have enough money or whatever.

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Speaker 1: He pulls up, knocks on the door, says, can I

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Speaker 1: clean up your house? Most a lot of times people

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Speaker 1: are either rude or dismissive or not impressed. And it's

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Speaker 1: just amazing to me because he does, like a day

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Speaker 1: worth of work transform the look of these people's homes

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Speaker 1: and then doesn't charge them. He's making money on the

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Speaker 1: TikTok views, but people are just like, oh cool now.

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Speaker 1: Some people are super grateful. He came across some old woman.

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Speaker 1: I don't know the whole backstory. All I know is

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Speaker 1: he decided that he didn't like the way she was

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Speaker 1: living and so he started, like the video went viral.

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Speaker 1: There's a gofund me. As of last night, I had

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Speaker 1: like seven hundred thousand dollars worth of donations for this

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Speaker 1: one old woman. And they're going to like reconstruct her

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Speaker 1: house so it's accessible. They're gonna get her a new

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Speaker 1: car that's accessible. They're gonna like reado her driveway and

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Speaker 1: or stairs and stuff. I mean, but they thought they

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Speaker 1: might raise like, you know, tens of thousands maybe, and

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Speaker 1: now they can buy her a whole new house if

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Speaker 1: they want to. And it's all because people are touched

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Speaker 1: by this woman. And I think it's stuff like that

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Speaker 1: going on on on TikTok oh. Yeah, while our information

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Speaker 1: is being stolen, But.

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Speaker 2: Like what information? Exactly? What do you want from me?

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Speaker 3: I have it all.

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Speaker 1: You guys have everything you want to see my browsing history,

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Speaker 1: then go right?

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Speaker 4: Are are they are already?

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Speaker 2: Don't think they aren't for one second.

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Speaker 4: I don't and I don't care. Look at me, watch me.

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Speaker 4: I'm not interested.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, anyway, so that's what everyone's flocking to. Lemonade and red. Note,

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Speaker 1: if you want to hang out at Starbucks for free,

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Speaker 1: it's not gonna work anymore. Now you have to buy something.

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Speaker 1: So if you if you've been working from home, yeah,

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Speaker 1: this is terrible. But if you've been working from home

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Speaker 1: aka working from Starbucks, think you can we camp out

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Speaker 1: in there. I kid you know how. A bunch of

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Speaker 1: years ago in the city, I did see a man.

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Speaker 1: This is not a joke. I saw a man set

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Speaker 1: up his full on desktop computer at a Starbucks full on,

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Speaker 1: and he wasn't just wasn't like a TikTok video. Like

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Speaker 1: he brought a monitor in and a tower and he

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Speaker 1: plugged that thing in the wall and he sat there

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Speaker 1: and just worked away all. I don't know how long

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Speaker 1: he was there. But Starbucks said Monday that it's reviewing

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Speaker 1: a policy. Reversing rather a policy that invited everyone into

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Speaker 1: its store. Is a new code of conduct also bands

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Speaker 1: discrimination or harassment, consumption of outside alcohol, smoking, vaping, drug use,

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Speaker 1: and panhandley. That wasn't part of the policy already. I

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Speaker 1: could vape and use drugs in the Starbucks and then

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Speaker 1: no one was gonna say anything to me.

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Speaker 5: Now.

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Speaker 1: A Starbucks person, a person there, A spokesperson. That's hard

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Speaker 1: to say, A Starbucks spokesperson, Yeah, person that's there said

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Speaker 1: that the new rules are designed to help prioritize paying customers.

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Speaker 1: Most other retailers already have similar rules. They'll be asked

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Speaker 1: to leave, they might call law enforcement if necessary, and

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Speaker 1: there's going to be training on enforcing the new policy.

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Speaker 1: So guys, if you were you know, Giki, I know

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Speaker 1: what you do when you leave here. You just go

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Speaker 1: camp out in Starbucks all day, you know, me, you

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Speaker 1: don't pay for anything. Nope, free Wi Fi, Nope, that's it.

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Speaker 1: Let me get a water cook not anymore, Not anymore.

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Speaker 1: And a pizzeria is trending because they're charging one hundred

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Speaker 1: and twenty five dollars for a standard Hawaiian pizza to

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Speaker 1: deter customers from choosing the controversial pineapple topping. This places

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Speaker 1: in England. I guess one hundred and twenty five bucks.

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Speaker 1: You can have it, order the champagne too. Go on,

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Speaker 1: you monster, is what the sign says. When asked why

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Speaker 1: they decided to charge such a large fee, the owner's

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Speaker 1: answer simple, they hate pineapple on pizza. They got all

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Speaker 1: kinds of different stuff you can get on pizza, whipped tofu,

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Speaker 1: garlic whipped tofu, beef, shin oh, brendang. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: They got a bunch of different stuff, but you can't

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Speaker 1: eat pineapple unless you want to pant twenty bucks you're sick?

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Speaker 4: You want warm fruit on your pizza?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I am not a Yeah, I don't get it.

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Speaker 1: I mean you know more, you know more, power to you,

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Speaker 1: But I don't understand the only warm fruit like maybe

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Speaker 1: like a nice h apple pie warmed up or something

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Speaker 1: it's grows like a warm Apple's fine, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, But like, I'm not trying to have a

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Speaker 1: warm anything else but on your pizza, on my pizza.

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Speaker 6: And it goes with bacon, right, you put bacon on

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Speaker 6: your ham, So ham and pineapple kind of a slap.

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Speaker 6: That's the only thing that will go together, like warm

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Speaker 6: fruit wise.

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Speaker 4: And then mare and narrow sauce and grass.

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Speaker 2: It's not bad.

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Speaker 1: It's not good, but I'm bad the cops on you too. Honestly,

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Speaker 1: I'm not sure. I'm not sure what's worse the fact

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Speaker 1: that you can't have a Starbucks all day, like pineapple

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Speaker 1: pizza while you're there. That's me. He did even buy

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Speaker 1: from there. No, she's a person that brings us. She

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Speaker 1: brings the duncan into the Starbucks, then sits down their

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Speaker 1: Wi Fi, doesn't pay for anything. It's a ratification day,

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Speaker 1: recognizing the act that officially ended the American Revolution. National

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Speaker 1: Shot for Travel Day and National Hot Pastrami Sandwich Day

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Speaker 1: today as well. So there you go. Please enjoy just

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Speaker 1: not piecing with pineapple on it. The Entertainment Report in

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Speaker 1: two minutes on The Fresh Show one on three to

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Speaker 1: five Kiss FM, Chicago's number one hit music station, The

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Speaker 1: Fresh Show is on. It's Stay or Go. All right, abe,

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Speaker 1: this is here, Good morning, a welcome to the show.

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Speaker 1: How are you hey there? Yeah, oh no, we're here. Hey.

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Speaker 1: What's going on with.

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Speaker 5: This?

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Speaker 1: Is your wife? Right?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: Kind of going through a little something with my wife here?

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Speaker 1: All right, Well, thank you for the note. So you

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Speaker 1: I want you to kind of walk us through this.

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Speaker 1: But I you were adopted, but you never met your

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Speaker 1: birth mother, right, that's where this whole thing. That's kind

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Speaker 1: of like where it starts.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, correct, correct, Like you said, I'm adopted. I've never

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Speaker 3: met my birth mother. I made it very clear my

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Speaker 3: whole life to everybody, not just my wife, but to everybody,

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Speaker 3: that I have no interest. I do not want to

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Speaker 3: meet my birth mother, my biological mother. Never something I

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Speaker 3: wanted to do. I took a DNA test recently because

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Speaker 3: I needed to know if I had any specific health

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Speaker 3: issues and try to figure out some background about my health.

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Speaker 1: Really, yeah, a lot of people doing this because you know,

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Speaker 1: if you don't have a relationship with your birth parents,

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Speaker 1: then there's there are holes obviously in your in your

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Speaker 1: lineage or you know, in your history as to what

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Speaker 1: might be sort of looming there, and if you want

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Speaker 1: to have kids, I know that can also be helpful

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Speaker 1: to know ahead of time. You know what might be

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Speaker 1: in your family history from a health standpoint, but you don't.

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Speaker 1: You don't know, right because you don't know this woman,

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Speaker 1: right right, I don't know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know any any of my family. So

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Speaker 3: I want to take this DNA test.

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Speaker 8: Right, Okay, So my wife goes behind my back and

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Speaker 8: finds my birth mother and sets up a meeting, thinking it.

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Speaker 1: Was it was going to be a good thing.

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Speaker 3: I went to the meeting and I met my biological

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Speaker 3: mother and it did not go well at all.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I like to avoid this your whole life and

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Speaker 1: then for it to happen and then it not go well.

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Speaker 1: It's like, well, this is why I was avoiding it, right,

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Speaker 1: Like this is I wasn't. I didn't want to do this.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't want to do it. I had a

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Speaker 3: feeling that whatever I'm going through, it just it was

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Speaker 3: something I did not want to do. You know, she

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Speaker 3: thought she was helping my wife I'm talking about. She

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Speaker 3: thought she was helping. She wasn't, And it's just something

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Speaker 3: I can't seem to get over. I'm really upset at

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Speaker 3: my wife. It's something she knew I didn't want to do.

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Speaker 3: She made me go to this meeting anyway, and now

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Speaker 3: it's just something I can't undo, I can't take back.

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Speaker 1: And.

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Speaker 3: I just I feel like I can't get over it.

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Speaker 3: I feel like I don't know if this is something

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Speaker 3: I'm ever going to get over.

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Speaker 1: I'd be betrayed on any level because I'm thinking in

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Speaker 1: my head, what could she have done to get this

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Speaker 1: information for you to you know, because we could potentially

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Speaker 1: affect if you want to have children, It could affect children,

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Speaker 1: and that would be half hers. So I can understand

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Speaker 1: her interest in this, But like, I don't think I

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Speaker 1: have a strange men right, I'm a stranger in my

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Speaker 1: birth father. I don't. I would not be okay if

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Speaker 1: my wife called him and had some form of interaction

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Speaker 1: with him, even if it was just a fact finding mission,

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't be okay with it. I start wouldn't be

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Speaker 1: okay if there was a meeting broker that I wasn't

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Speaker 1: a part of, especially if I expressed my wishes, which

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Speaker 1: is I want nothing to do with this. I've had

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Speaker 1: nothing to do with this I've made a conscious decision

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Speaker 1: my whole life not to have anything to do with this.

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Speaker 1: So why are you now going and deciding this is

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Speaker 1: what I should be doing. I wouldn't be okay with that.

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Speaker 1: And so where are you guys at now? Like you

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Speaker 1: did it because okay, okay, it's been set up, so

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Speaker 1: I'll do it. Maybe she encouraged you. It goes poorly,

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Speaker 1: so now you're pissed. You're mad? Yeah, very mad.

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Speaker 3: We had an initial blowout, big argument that day into

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Speaker 3: the next day, lasted, you know, quite a while. We

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Speaker 3: were pretty I was pretty upset at her, and lately

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Speaker 3: we've been, you know, kind of cordial to each other,

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Speaker 3: but it's just been a lot of tension.

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Speaker 1: It's just it's just festering inside me.

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Speaker 3: I'm getting very angry when I see her, you know,

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Speaker 3: our time together, and I'm just I just I'm not

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Speaker 3: over it. If I'm being honest, I feel like it's

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Speaker 3: something I'm not over. I'm gonna take me a while

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Speaker 3: to get over. If I'm even going to get over it.

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Speaker 3: But it was a I can't help but to take

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Speaker 3: it as an act of betrayal from her, and I

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Speaker 3: don't know what to do whom here.

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Speaker 1: Well, let me take some phone calls on this, because

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Speaker 1: it's his group therapy of course eight five five unlicensed

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Speaker 1: group therapy. Yet you get what you paid for eight

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Speaker 1: five five five nine to one one O three five.

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Speaker 1: You can call it textas same number. I'm gonna take

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Speaker 1: these calls. Have the radio one and you can hear

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Speaker 1: what people have to say. But good luck with all

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Speaker 1: of this. It's a tough situation. I'm sorry going through it.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate it. Yeah, take care of man. Thanks for listening.

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Speaker 1: What do you guys? I mean, I don't what jumps

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Speaker 1: out of you.

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Speaker 7: I'm big on intention, right, So, like, I understand he

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Speaker 7: feels betrayed and this is not what he wanted. But like,

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Speaker 7: I don't think his wife's intention was to hurt him

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Speaker 7: in any type of way. If anything, she may, because

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Speaker 7: she's his partner, may notice some issues there, some mimmy

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Speaker 7: issues and some things that are not resolved, and this

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Speaker 7: might have been her attempt to try to help, although

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Speaker 7: not the best way, and it really wasn't up to

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Speaker 7: her to do that. I really hope he doesn't leave her,

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Speaker 7: because I do think she had she didn't have ill

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Speaker 7: intention in setting this up.

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Speaker 1: I'm big on intent too, but he did say I

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Speaker 1: don't want to do this. He has avoided it his

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Speaker 1: whole life, I know.

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Speaker 7: But then as somebody who's maybe in a relationship with

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Speaker 7: you may say, you need to confront this. You know,

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Speaker 7: you need to heal from this, you need some resolution there.

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Speaker 7: And as your wife and as your partner, I think

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Speaker 7: she thought she was doing what was best for him,

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Speaker 7: and you know, even though he still is upset about it,

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Speaker 7: I think he kind of needed to come like confront it.

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Speaker 2: As well and maybe work through it.

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Speaker 1: You can, Kicky, this is a big deal. It's hurt

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Speaker 1: up to but this is a big deal, Like what

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Speaker 1: else is she going to take into her own hands

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Speaker 1: that is his?

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Speaker 7: I know, I just don't think it was ill intent

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Speaker 7: at all, and I just, you know, yeah, I'm.

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Speaker 9: Really big on not going I mean, he said, he

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Speaker 9: said it over and over and over, and now he's

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Speaker 9: probably way more hurt than he was. I don't know

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Speaker 9: what the mom said, And I also think if you're

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Speaker 9: not in a situation, you can't understand how it affects you.

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Speaker 9: So I'm assuming that she wasn't adopted, so she may

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Speaker 9: not know how that feels. And maybe he had you know,

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Speaker 9: great parents growing up and they weren't his biological parents,

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Speaker 9: but he doesn't want maybe they didn't want him to go,

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Speaker 9: So I'm not for it. I think if somebody says

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Speaker 9: I don't want this over and over again, I don't

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Speaker 9: think you can go behind someone's back and do that,

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Speaker 9: and I wouldn't be able to get over it, especially

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Speaker 9: that it ended badly.

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Speaker 1: Well, I haven't shared this before because well there was

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Speaker 1: there's also estrangement on my mom's part of the family

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Speaker 1: with her sisters, and that woman just passed away, so

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Speaker 1: I guess I can say it. But you know, she

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Speaker 1: has an estranged child, an extended member of my family,

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Speaker 1: and that child reached out found my mom on like

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Speaker 1: a ancestry or one of those things, reached out and

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Speaker 1: specifically said, I do not want any I don't want

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Speaker 1: any contact with this person. Do not tell I know

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Speaker 1: I'm asking a stranger for a lot, but I am

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Speaker 1: about to have children. We're trying to have kids, and

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Speaker 1: I do want to know what I'm up against. Would

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Speaker 1: you mind? You know, I'm not asking for any sort

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Speaker 1: of link up here. I just want you to provide

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Speaker 1: me with the information which my mom did and kept

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Speaker 1: her personal opinion out of it for the most part,

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Speaker 1: because you know, I think she would have probably encouraged

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Speaker 1: this person not to go down that road. But again,

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Speaker 1: it's one of those things where you know, my mom

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Speaker 1: had a decision to make right. It was, you know,

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Speaker 1: and obviously the estrangement helped. They weren't talking anyway. But

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Speaker 1: I mean, I thought it was a very valid question,

400
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Speaker 1: something I had never considered before that Hey, I don't

401
00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,320
Speaker 1: I don't know what's looming, and if you've never met

402
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Speaker 1: your birth parents, you may not have any clue what

403
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Speaker 1: you're up against one hundred person.

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Speaker 6: So yes, I think what this you know, his wife

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Speaker 6: did was a form of betrayal, going behind somebody's back,

406
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Speaker 6: I do, one hundred percent. But as somebody who goes

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Speaker 6: to the doctor and I'm constantly asked, like, you know, oh,

408
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Speaker 6: tell me about your father's you know, whatever, health history,

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Speaker 6: and somebody who's never even met their biological father me,

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Speaker 6: I that quite shouldn't. Just I can't answer it because

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Speaker 6: I don't know. So like I have a child now too,

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Speaker 6: so obviously you know, I don't know what my dad,

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Speaker 6: you know, his health and all of that, and what

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Speaker 6: that looks like for me in my future because I

415
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Speaker 6: don't have that answer. So like the only thing or

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Speaker 6: part I respect out of this is that maybe that

417
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Speaker 6: he'll get some medical information that he'll need.

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Speaker 2: He is that something that you got.

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Speaker 9: I know you've taken DNA test, and I know that

420
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Speaker 9: you can do the health one. I did the health one,

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Speaker 9: and I think you did and you can see, you

422
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Speaker 9: know things that are our genes are showing.

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Speaker 2: Is that you.

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Speaker 9: Feel like that's not enough of a sample survey or

425
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Speaker 9: whatever to know.

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Speaker 6: I mean it is, but like I would rather know

427
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Speaker 6: like oh, my father or from our course side of

428
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Speaker 6: the family, you know, our carriers for this, right or

429
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Speaker 6: maybe like I'm making this up, my grandfather had this,

430
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Speaker 6: Like you know, because I get asked all these questions

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Speaker 6: and I honestly don't have the answer.

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Speaker 2: I just have my mom's infaults, and that's I barely

433
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:45,160
Speaker 2: have that. Inact.

434
00:19:45,160 --> 00:19:45,840
Speaker 1: I don't know the answers.

435
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:47,399
Speaker 4: And I knew my grandparents by the way, I'm like,

436
00:19:47,400 --> 00:19:49,159
Speaker 4: I don't know what the hell health Yeah they have

437
00:19:49,359 --> 00:19:50,320
Speaker 4: not too, but.

438
00:19:50,359 --> 00:19:53,520
Speaker 1: Yeah I am a good morning, welcome to the Friend Show.

439
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:56,800
Speaker 1: How are you are you? Hey? So just to recap

440
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,600
Speaker 1: here doing well, thanks for asking this. Dude is upset

441
00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,800
Speaker 1: because he doesn't talk to his mother. Never knew his

442
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:06,040
Speaker 1: mother got married. They were talking about sort of like

443
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 1: previous health issues and things like that. The wife went

444
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,200
Speaker 1: and reached out to the mother, linked them up without

445
00:20:12,200 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 1: his knowledge, and the meeting went poorly, and now he's resentful,

446
00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:16,640
Speaker 1: very resentful. What do you think?

447
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,440
Speaker 10: Yeah, Okay, so a couple things. First, he either needs

448
00:20:20,480 --> 00:20:22,280
Speaker 10: to go or they need to go to therapy at

449
00:20:22,280 --> 00:20:24,639
Speaker 10: a very bare minimum, just to figure out if like

450
00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:27,280
Speaker 10: they I's moving on from this is even within the

451
00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 10: realm of possibilities, because I mean, obviously he's portrayed like

452
00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,679
Speaker 10: there's literally I cannot and I understood health things whatever.

453
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:35,879
Speaker 10: I cannot think of though of a reason why she

454
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:37,840
Speaker 10: would go behind his back and not like talk it

455
00:20:37,960 --> 00:20:40,680
Speaker 10: through with him first, like, oh, I think this would

456
00:20:40,720 --> 00:20:42,399
Speaker 10: be good for it, Like there's just no reason she

457
00:20:42,400 --> 00:20:43,680
Speaker 10: should have gone behind his back.

458
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean in my life, for example, that is

459
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 1: not a debatable thing, like even if you deeply believe

460
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:51,840
Speaker 1: that it is important to me, like if I make

461
00:20:51,840 --> 00:20:54,919
Speaker 1: the decision, no, the decisions know and I would expect

462
00:20:54,960 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 1: my wife if I had one, to understand that that's

463
00:20:58,560 --> 00:21:01,280
Speaker 1: you know, this is a forty plus your thing you

464
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,399
Speaker 1: know that has it's way bigger than that, you know,

465
00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:06,360
Speaker 1: so this is this is not for you to sit

466
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:09,040
Speaker 1: you know, uh to say, you know what I mean.

467
00:21:09,119 --> 00:21:10,840
Speaker 11: And the other thing that that's too with health like

468
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,280
Speaker 11: and I know, like this isn't necessarily a possibility for

469
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:17,320
Speaker 11: everybody because you know, health stuff is expensive and whatnot.

470
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 11: But like there's also like just genetic testing and what

471
00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:22,720
Speaker 11: you can go through a doctor. Like there's like which

472
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:23,399
Speaker 11: is actually.

473
00:21:23,160 --> 00:21:26,760
Speaker 10: Technically two even more accurate than just word them out whatever. Anyways,

474
00:21:26,760 --> 00:21:28,679
Speaker 10: there are other options. She did not need to do

475
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:29,280
Speaker 10: this at all.

476
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:31,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I agree. Hey, Emily, thanks for listening, Thanks

477
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:34,959
Speaker 1: for calling. Have a good day you too. Liz has

478
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,639
Speaker 1: a different Liz, you have a different take on this.

479
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:40,080
Speaker 1: Good morning, welcome Hi, And I'm saying this on the

480
00:21:40,119 --> 00:21:41,800
Speaker 1: text too. A lot of people feel the same way,

481
00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:42,600
Speaker 1: but go ahead.

482
00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:47,159
Speaker 12: Yeah, I mean, I definitely agree that the wife should

483
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,000
Speaker 12: not have done it, she should have stayed on it.

484
00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:52,639
Speaker 12: But I don't necessarily think it's a go situation. I

485
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:56,359
Speaker 12: think it's something that can be worked out because you know,

486
00:21:56,400 --> 00:21:58,360
Speaker 12: there's a portion of it that he has to take

487
00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 12: responsibility and account of ability. For sure, the wife planned

488
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,720
Speaker 12: the meeting, but it was his choice to go through

489
00:22:05,800 --> 00:22:10,120
Speaker 12: with the meeting, and I definitely think that's an important

490
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:12,480
Speaker 12: piece of the puzzle. It's not all on her.

491
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:15,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you and I don't know this because I

492
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:17,240
Speaker 1: don't know her or really him. But have you ever

493
00:22:17,280 --> 00:22:19,440
Speaker 1: been in a relationship where someone just harps on something

494
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:20,840
Speaker 1: to the point where you're like, fine, I'm going to

495
00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:23,160
Speaker 1: do this. If anything, he was doing it for her.

496
00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,560
Speaker 1: It almost seems like, fine, I'll do this, I'll do

497
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:28,240
Speaker 1: this for you, and I'm making I'm taking some liberties

498
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:30,679
Speaker 1: here because I don't know that, but it's like, okay, fine,

499
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:33,240
Speaker 1: like you need It's almost like she needed this information

500
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:36,360
Speaker 1: in order to feel confident moving forward, and maybe I'd

501
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:38,080
Speaker 1: like to believe she thought it would be helpful. But

502
00:22:38,119 --> 00:22:39,679
Speaker 1: if do it is like, this is not going to

503
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:42,560
Speaker 1: help me. I mean, I think that you got to

504
00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:43,919
Speaker 1: sort of respect that, don't you.

505
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 10: Oh yeah, I totally agree.

506
00:22:47,080 --> 00:22:49,280
Speaker 12: But you know, I'm very big on at the end

507
00:22:49,320 --> 00:22:51,760
Speaker 12: of the day, everybody has choices, and.

508
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:57,000
Speaker 1: You know, yeah, he could. Thank you, Liz, have a

509
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 1: good day, Welcome you too. Thank you so much for

510
00:22:59,520 --> 00:23:03,640
Speaker 1: calling for saying hey Jessica, good morning, good morning, Hi Jessica,

511
00:23:03,760 --> 00:23:05,919
Speaker 1: what do you think you know?

512
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,960
Speaker 10: Honestly, I agree with Kiki. I feel like there's I think.

513
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:11,479
Speaker 1: There's a reason she set it up.

514
00:23:11,560 --> 00:23:14,480
Speaker 5: I mean, if he continuously said no, whether he was

515
00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:18,959
Speaker 5: making like subliminal comments or something along with lines, something

516
00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,879
Speaker 5: in her gut sets out like it was something she

517
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:21,640
Speaker 5: needed to do.

518
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,080
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, And I'm big on intention too, because I

519
00:23:25,119 --> 00:23:28,119
Speaker 1: do think like people need to take into consideration. I

520
00:23:28,119 --> 00:23:30,639
Speaker 1: think as a society we need to take into consideration

521
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:33,280
Speaker 1: sometimes like where's somebody coming from when they said something

522
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,800
Speaker 1: before we just get, you know, absolutely furious and livid.

523
00:23:36,320 --> 00:23:38,280
Speaker 1: And I understand that you're entitled to feel however you

524
00:23:38,320 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 1: feel about something, but I do think intention matters in

525
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:44,520
Speaker 1: this case though. This is beyond all of that, and I.

526
00:23:44,560 --> 00:23:47,440
Speaker 4: Thinking, you know better like for somebody than they know.

527
00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,960
Speaker 1: This is foundational, right, Like this is this is not

528
00:23:51,280 --> 00:23:54,320
Speaker 1: you know I said this and you interpreted it as this.

529
00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,320
Speaker 1: You know, this isn't like I didn't say good morning

530
00:23:56,320 --> 00:23:58,160
Speaker 1: to you in the right way and you get kissed

531
00:23:58,160 --> 00:24:01,080
Speaker 1: off and you're mad at me all you know, and

532
00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 1: like you know what I'm saying, Like what I said,

533
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:04,760
Speaker 1: good morning, Like, I know what you're mad at me,

534
00:24:04,840 --> 00:24:07,239
Speaker 1: But like I said, good morning, this isn't that. This

535
00:24:07,280 --> 00:24:10,399
Speaker 1: isn't a communicative you know, a difference, right.

536
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:14,159
Speaker 5: She loves him, you know, Yeah, I just like you know,

537
00:24:14,200 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 5: they're married, she loves them, And I feel like I agree, Chiki.

538
00:24:16,920 --> 00:24:18,399
Speaker 5: I just feel like there had to have been some

539
00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:20,480
Speaker 5: type of reason she did that. She's not going to

540
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:22,199
Speaker 5: stop and doing like, oh, you just need to meet her.

541
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:26,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, fair enough. But again, and Kiky, I'll get you

542
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:29,199
Speaker 1: to say, but if you're not going to if we

543
00:24:29,280 --> 00:24:30,960
Speaker 1: talked about that and I said no, and you do

544
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,080
Speaker 1: it anyway, Now, I'm going to wonder for the rest

545
00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:35,800
Speaker 1: of our relationship, what else are you going to disregard?

546
00:24:35,840 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 1: What do you want to say?

547
00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,199
Speaker 7: I just I just think that she loves him. I

548
00:24:39,200 --> 00:24:42,160
Speaker 7: don't think she's trying to hurt him. Yes, it did hurt,

549
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:44,600
Speaker 7: you know, it did hurt. She made a mistake, but

550
00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,199
Speaker 7: I don't think she intentionally tried to set this up

551
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:48,880
Speaker 7: to hurt him in any kind of way.

552
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:52,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, maybe I agree, Jessica. Thank you, have a great day.

553
00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:56,200
Speaker 1: Thanks for listening too. Thank you glad you called Tanya. Okay, Tanya,

554
00:24:56,240 --> 00:25:05,000
Speaker 1: good morning. Hey, So you you you have adopted children, correct, okay,

555
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,600
Speaker 1: and so you how would your kids feel about that?

556
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:08,879
Speaker 1: Like what is kind of can you give us like

557
00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,920
Speaker 1: a little backstory, a little bit of the context.

558
00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:15,119
Speaker 13: Yeah, yeah, I've had mine, so I got to as

559
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,520
Speaker 13: a single mother. I've had them since they were very young,

560
00:25:17,560 --> 00:25:20,240
Speaker 13: so they don't know anything different. And they're fifteen and.

561
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:21,480
Speaker 1: Seventeen now, okay.

562
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:24,440
Speaker 13: And what I'm thinking about is like the wife hasn't

563
00:25:24,480 --> 00:25:27,720
Speaker 13: been there all their childhood or all his childhood, so

564
00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:30,200
Speaker 13: you know, the wife doesn't know the feelings that he

565
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:31,159
Speaker 13: went through growing up.

566
00:25:31,320 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 1: Right.

567
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:34,359
Speaker 13: You know, my children, even no matter how great I

568
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,640
Speaker 13: am to them as a mother, they still feel so abandoned.

569
00:25:37,640 --> 00:25:39,080
Speaker 13: You know, my own mother didn't love me. You know,

570
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 13: how could that she leave me? And that hurt that

571
00:25:41,560 --> 00:25:44,440
Speaker 13: they carried all their childhood and you know the pain

572
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,239
Speaker 13: they've been through. So I think the wife doesn't know

573
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:49,280
Speaker 13: that she's been there maybe three years, five years, you know,

574
00:25:49,320 --> 00:25:51,560
Speaker 13: she hasn't seen that all the childhood and all that

575
00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:54,320
Speaker 13: trauma that carries along with feeling abandoned by you know,

576
00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:57,440
Speaker 13: your birth mother. So I think for somebody to set

577
00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,640
Speaker 13: that up and to do that if he didn't want

578
00:25:59,640 --> 00:26:01,760
Speaker 13: to do his own. Nobody should ever do that for him,

579
00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:03,800
Speaker 13: Like I will never do that for my children. I will,

580
00:26:03,880 --> 00:26:07,040
Speaker 13: you know, never force them to go meet their birth mother.

581
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:08,880
Speaker 13: They can do it on their own, but I would

582
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:09,880
Speaker 13: never push that on them.

583
00:26:10,080 --> 00:26:11,760
Speaker 1: Well, and you can tell you can instill in your

584
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 1: kids that hey, maybe maybe you weren't unwanted. Maybe they

585
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:17,040
Speaker 1: were circumstances. I mean, you can say all this, but

586
00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,159
Speaker 1: and who knows, maybe that conversation would be beneficial for

587
00:26:20,240 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 1: them to hear from. You know, I don't know the situation.

588
00:26:22,400 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 1: But let's say that mother was very young or incapable

589
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:27,359
Speaker 1: of caring for them, and this was the best choice

590
00:26:27,400 --> 00:26:30,560
Speaker 1: for you know, whatever. It's possible that conversation could benefit them,

591
00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 1: But they have to decide that it can't be you

592
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,440
Speaker 1: because you're the next closest thing they trust you, right,

593
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:39,320
Speaker 1: and they said no. So now if you go do it, now,

594
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 1: you're putting your relationship with them at risk. It's almost

595
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,440
Speaker 1: like another level of betrayal.

596
00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,000
Speaker 13: Exactly another in that you know, he's his wife, he

597
00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 13: has you know, a relationship with and he trusted her

598
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,600
Speaker 13: and now she's making him feel I don't know, maybe

599
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:56,679
Speaker 13: that feeling of like abandonment again, like she's abandoning him

600
00:26:56,680 --> 00:26:57,800
Speaker 13: in the relationship, like she's.

601
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:58,360
Speaker 11: Turning on him.

602
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 13: Yeah, and I think that's probably that's what's like striking

603
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:00,879
Speaker 13: with it.

604
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:03,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's hard, that's hard. That's a lot.

605
00:27:03,040 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 13: And we don't know what it feels like, you know,

606
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:06,840
Speaker 13: if we unless you're in that situation as a child,

607
00:27:06,840 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 13: I don't think of any clue what it feels like, right.

608
00:27:09,320 --> 00:27:11,440
Speaker 1: I agree, I agree, Thank you, Tania, have a good day.

609
00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:16,240
Speaker 1: I'd be pretty pissed if somebody went around me and

610
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:17,160
Speaker 1: just went together.

611
00:27:17,320 --> 00:27:19,000
Speaker 2: He has a right to be mad. Don't get me

612
00:27:19,040 --> 00:27:19,480
Speaker 2: wrong here.

613
00:27:19,560 --> 00:27:21,960
Speaker 7: I'm just trying to extend a little grace to the wife,

614
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,280
Speaker 7: Like I just I don't think she tried to hurt him, you.

615
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:29,760
Speaker 1: Know, well, well forget her, man, don't wow. Okay, Usually

616
00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:34,320
Speaker 1: I say I'm surprised. I'm just taking it in the

617
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:34,879
Speaker 1: entertainment of