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Speaker 1: You literally moved me out the house, and then you

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Speaker 1: wrote a letter to me in twenty twenty to break

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Speaker 1: it off with me.

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Speaker 2: Wait, he broke up with you with a letter, not

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Speaker 2: a four pen No, no, it was not four pages.

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Speaker 2: It was forty seven. And wait, he broke it with

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Speaker 2: you with a book. Forty seven book page some.

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Speaker 3: Of the highlights chapter. When you were reading it, I'm

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Speaker 3: sure it's too long, But what are some of the

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Speaker 3: things that.

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Speaker 2: Made you to get like?

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Speaker 1: What the forty seven pages? First of all, he tried

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Speaker 1: to isolate me with the letter. The first page he said,

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Speaker 1: read this when you are alone and by yourself. Just

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Speaker 1: remember you asked for this. Now what he meant by

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Speaker 1: that was for an entire year, all of twenty nineteen,

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Speaker 1: I had been asking him questions about what was going on,

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Speaker 1: because I already knew that we were uncoupling, because I

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Speaker 1: felt that I noticed signs when trying to avoid me, right,

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Speaker 1: and he was very emotionally avoidant. Right, So for a

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Speaker 1: whole year stopped answering my emails, text messages, calls.

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Speaker 2: And would check in when he wanted to. But how

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Speaker 2: is so you already were living apart? Yeah, because he

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Speaker 2: moved me out the house while I was.

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Speaker 4: Out of town. So this was before the divorce.

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Speaker 1: Yes, okay, this was in twenty nineteen and April, but

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Speaker 1: I was on tour, so I was moving around doing.

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Speaker 2: My tourationship and a happy point. Was it a shock?

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Speaker 1: The moving me out while I was out of town

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Speaker 1: was a shock because it completely turned my world upside down.

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Speaker 1: And he also like displaced me with the person we

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Speaker 1: had moved in with us, who was houseless. Now I

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Speaker 1: wasn't houseless because I got my family in Chicago, so

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Speaker 1: that's where I went back to. But you're my husband

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Speaker 1: and we're living together, and you just uproot my whole life.

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Speaker 2: It's a whole lot behind that.

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Speaker 1: But then he started like dropping letters on me right

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Speaker 1: to explain things. And in one of his letters, his

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Speaker 1: whole reasoning from us moving out was well, you said

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Speaker 1: you never had your own I want you to have

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Speaker 1: your own I want you to grow. But really it

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Speaker 1: was like he wanted his own space, he wanted his

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Speaker 1: own thing, and he didn't want to have to be

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Speaker 1: possible for somebody because he's their husband. He would always

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Speaker 1: say things like I'm not doing this for you because

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Speaker 1: you're my wife.

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Speaker 2: I'm doing it because I want to.

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Speaker 5: Wow, and so can I ask you, if you're so

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Speaker 5: much about the takes, why aren't you doing it?

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Speaker 2: Because I'm your wife number one.

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Speaker 4: I know it's a.

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Speaker 3: Controversial, but the way that doctor Umar talks about family

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Speaker 3: dynamics and honoring people and the hierarchy and prioritization of

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Speaker 3: women wives, et cetera, which he practiced it though it's

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Speaker 3: a shrink up by him.

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Speaker 4: Wait wait, wait, so you think he's just talked.

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Speaker 2: I'm gonna shut up about him.

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Speaker 1: But no, this is you can say here what No,

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Speaker 1: I don't think that he practices what he talks about.

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Speaker 1: I think he's he is a hot take and he

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Speaker 1: knows that he has been a hot take for like

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Speaker 1: two decades.

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Speaker 2: And I know people who's personally interact with him.

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Speaker 4: But like he has.

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Speaker 1: He does help, he has a lot of and he

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Speaker 1: anyway a child.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know anyway child.

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Speaker 5: I think he got that suki with the good too.

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Speaker 5: Oh he definitely did. But you know, and I'm just

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Speaker 5: saying that off of just optics.

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Speaker 2: A bunch of people makes you.

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Speaker 5: But to me, however, I will say, if you're a

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Speaker 5: man who values a woman's place in a family, dynamic

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Speaker 5: and you don't have a family dynamic.

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Speaker 2: I thought he got married to a woman before too.

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Speaker 3: I'll tell you this.

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Speaker 2: Shot.

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Speaker 3: If doctor white woman, I might just go on a

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Speaker 3: live and you must be getting to.

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Speaker 4: Gonna say it.

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Speaker 5: I know I will say though, because he goes borrowed

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Speaker 5: so much. I think if he's a white woman, she

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Speaker 5: would have.

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Speaker 4: Came out by now.

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Speaker 1: Oh he got her on an iron clad NDA but

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Speaker 1: maybe you right doubt it though he really he really

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Speaker 1: is about Pan Africanism and like our people.

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Speaker 2: So I will say, there's white Africans, Yeah, there is.

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Speaker 1: I've seen them when I went to see them too,

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Speaker 1: was white Africans. But Charlie star Around is white and

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Speaker 1: South Africa. Yeah, Musk is a white African.

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Speaker 4: Yeah you know.

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Speaker 3: But anyway, hey, we are also American, but we were

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Speaker 3: brought here. So I don't like to act like white

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Speaker 3: people have their ground.

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Speaker 5: And anything saying everybody ever will but yeah that's but yeah,

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Speaker 5: so I hear him saying I'm doing this because I

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Speaker 5: want to. But as if he has no obligation to

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Speaker 5: live out his role as a husband to a wife,

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Speaker 5: it's crazy because you're right, he was separating.

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Speaker 2: It's a help oh my god.

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Speaker 1: So it's a whole backstory with this man, and I

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Speaker 1: really do think that the marriage served the purpose of

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Speaker 1: what I say before we got on this mic ego

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Speaker 1: stroking because he grew up, he grew up in practicing Islam,

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Speaker 1: so he was a Muslim man.

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Speaker 6: I'll never never, never good never right, was Joe, yes girl,

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Speaker 6: But he was a Harlem Muslim.

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Speaker 2: Seventh Street exactly.

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Speaker 5: The Harlem Mustlers was like, they became Muslims through one

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Speaker 5: of the members getting locked up in the prison and

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Speaker 5: they learned the Islam in prison and came out and

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Speaker 5: became ALcom Literally.

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Speaker 3: My mother and I were talking about my uncle who

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Speaker 3: passed her brother, and I was trying not to laugh.

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Speaker 3: We're in the car with my man, it's Christmas, and

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Speaker 3: we're talking about family and how she's the only one

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Speaker 3: left because her siblings died, and.

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Speaker 2: She's like, you know, when he became Muslim and Jeri,

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Speaker 2: he was like.

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Speaker 3: Met my cousin, and she's like, you know, he just

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Speaker 3: took a lot of those principles on.

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Speaker 2: I was like, you know what, I will.

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Speaker 3: Say, I would rather met in jail find Islam than

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Speaker 3: anything else, Like I must say that, but didn't.

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Speaker 4: Find a hobby. Learn how to do girl? Oh what

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Speaker 4: is your read?

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Speaker 2: Is long?

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Speaker 4: Bible? Whatever it is?

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Speaker 2: Hold on, cour on whatever.

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Speaker 5: Now got a fast When you get out of gym,

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Speaker 5: I'm not start praying to the East.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, trying to make fun of me. Was religion, but

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Speaker 2: I'm trying to shoo. I'm not.

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Speaker 5: No, when you date someone in their religion, broke. If

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Speaker 5: you don't convert, if you don't want them to convert,

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Speaker 5: women don't do it.

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Speaker 2: It's tough. Listen.

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Speaker 1: He wasn't a practicing Muslim. He was, he wasn't practicing Islam,

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Speaker 1: but he still identified as Muslim. But at that time,

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Speaker 1: you know, there's a whole thing around marriage and having family,

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Speaker 1: and nobody, nobody wanted to marry him.

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Speaker 2: So I felt like that was in hindsight.

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Speaker 1: Looking at it, it was like a validation for him

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Speaker 1: to have somebody that.

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Speaker 5: I think he was proposing though to multiple partners. No, okay, no,

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Speaker 5: I don't think so.

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Speaker 1: But that's the thing that just with my head, which

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Speaker 1: I'm going to therapy for this is I know that

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Speaker 1: a lot of what he did for me was sincere,

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Speaker 1: but he also had his own agendas, and I could

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Speaker 1: tell the relationship between him and his mother. There was

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Speaker 1: a lot of contention there, and he has mommy issues

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Speaker 1: also daddy issues. It's a whole, it's all. I want

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Speaker 1: to go too deep into this man's personal business, but

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Speaker 1: it's very deep. So I did get extremely close to him,

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Speaker 1: I think, closer than any other partner, to the point

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Speaker 1: where like I was there to go support him when

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Speaker 1: his grandmother had passed away, and you while to get together,

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Speaker 1: Like when I first met him, he was kind of

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Speaker 1: like a transition of sorts. But I mean meeting his mother,

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Speaker 1: meeting his father, having relationships with his sister, like I

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Speaker 1: have relationships with his family. So I think of all

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Speaker 1: the partners he ever had, I got the deepest and

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Speaker 1: the closest to him. And I think that the things

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Speaker 1: that I brought up in him he was uncomfortable with,

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Speaker 1: and so he wanted to create a distance.

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Speaker 4: Also, I don't.

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Speaker 1: Care that he was ready to be with somebody where

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Speaker 1: he had to be locked in because he was so

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Speaker 1: used to being free. Now, to answer your question around

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Speaker 1: what this man did, this man did a lot of

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Speaker 1: different jobs, but he had no solid job.

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Speaker 2: But his ideal was like I have no future plans.

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Speaker 2: That was his thing.

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Speaker 5: Because again the spiritual principles, the spiritual principles that he

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Speaker 5: thought all plans are pretend plants in the eyes of God,

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Speaker 5: so I have no future plans. But the reason why

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Speaker 5: that man could be like Peter Pan and just do

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Speaker 5: what he wanted to do in this world is because

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Speaker 5: his family got money.

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Speaker 2: Oh I didn't really.

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Speaker 1: Know that until I sat and I thought about it,

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Speaker 1: and until one of my lovers in Brooklyn got worth

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Speaker 1: that I got married.

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Speaker 4: Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: Okay, and he how long were y all dating before

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Speaker 2: you got married? We started dating and we started today quick,

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Speaker 2: but it was like.

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Speaker 5: Six months marriage. Why did he want marriage? And did

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Speaker 5: you want marriage as well as a polygony?

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Speaker 4: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: I wanted it because at the time that's what I

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Speaker 1: was looking for came Yeah, so when it came right,

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Speaker 1: and it's what's crazy, as I want the primary but

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Speaker 1: he never saw MEA's primary.

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Speaker 3: No.

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Speaker 2: No.

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Speaker 1: We had this conversation and I told him so where

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Speaker 1: this is where it gets crazy, because I don't think

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Speaker 1: that he really had the principles and the ideals around

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Speaker 1: like structure of polyamory.

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Speaker 2: But of course he doesn't want the freedom coming from Islam.

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Speaker 1: A lot of them the idea is you can have

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Speaker 1: multiple wise multiple people in their life.

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Speaker 2: Right, So a lot of the structure.

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Speaker 1: Of things, even with like kink and BDSM and all

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Speaker 1: that and lifestyle. I taught him that stuff, you know

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Speaker 1: what I mean. But with him being the leader of

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Speaker 1: our relationship, I wasn't allowed to take the lead in

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Speaker 1: educating or leading conversations around that. And again ego thing,

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Speaker 1: and again I was playing a role. I was like,

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Speaker 1: let me just see what it's like right now, you know.

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Speaker 1: So it was like he was trifling with marriage, and

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Speaker 1: the way that we did it was I let him

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Speaker 1: do all the research in all of the planning for

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Speaker 1: the wedding and all that stuff, because he was like,

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Speaker 1: I want a research marriage before we jump into it.

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Speaker 5: And so he went and did a historical historical we

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Speaker 5: asked our episode.

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Speaker 2: Yes I hate him.

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Speaker 5: Yes, he's a Rastafarian, Islamic, He's a spiritual. So it's

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Speaker 5: crazy because the whole situation around him just being very

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Speaker 5: flighty around what he does in life, like he already

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Speaker 5: had money and I didn't.

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Speaker 2: Know that until my lover from Brooklyn told me that

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Speaker 2: his people in.

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Speaker 1: Harlem told him, oh, your girl got married to some

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Speaker 1: rich dude, And I was like, is that a guest?

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Speaker 2: Did y'all know that? But I put two and two

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Speaker 2: together based on the properties and things.

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Speaker 1: That his family owned and managed in Harlem, and I

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Speaker 1: was just like, Oh, what the But he didn't act

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Speaker 1: like it.

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Speaker 2: He didn't he didn't.

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Speaker 5: Act Can I ask you? I know you said you're

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Speaker 5: in therapy. Definitely that they like doing that, they like

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Speaker 5: acting like. I've met so many rich kids.

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Speaker 2: I would I would say.

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Speaker 3: The only person I know in my life that is

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Speaker 3: a black sheet that really got her own is Liz Goldwin.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I love her, Liz. She really is like for it,

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Speaker 2: like when we talked.

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Speaker 3: When I look at pictures of her from the past,

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Speaker 3: I'm like, wow, Now I really believe rich kids grow

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Speaker 3: up and they just want to be rejective of that

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Speaker 3: because they're like, oh, well, it's not cool, it's not

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Speaker 3: he nepotism.

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Speaker 2: Black nepotism is great.

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Speaker 5: You just got a little taste of the Horrible Decisions Patreon.

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Speaker 4: But why it's that there?

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Speaker 5: Tap in for the full, uncut and way naster episodes

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00:11:43,800 --> 00:11:47,480
Speaker 5: over on Patreon. Go to patreon dot com, backslash Horrible

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Speaker 5: Decisions and unlock all the messy t wild stories and

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Speaker 5: bonus content you won't hear anywhere else. And now here's

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Speaker 5: you've got decisions.

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Speaker 4: If you would like to have us?

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Speaker 3: And are your questions if you have a terrible job,

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Speaker 3: a terrible boyfriend, or a terrible throufle guess what.

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Speaker 4: You've got decisions, You've got decision.

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Speaker 3: Hey, everybody, welcome back another hump day. Another problem in

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Speaker 3: our lives.

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Speaker 2: In our lives is your listeners.

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Speaker 3: I guess it's got to pretty much be a problem

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Speaker 3: if you hit us up. But also we'll take some

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Speaker 3: other questions. Give us some co worker shit, some family

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Speaker 3: drama shit. I feel like it's always the romance in love.

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Speaker 3: We know other stuff.

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Speaker 4: Listen.

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Speaker 5: It's because these folks be just waiting for a man, honey,

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Speaker 5: or they be with a man too long and they

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Speaker 5: know there it's time to go. Speaking of that, y'all

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Speaker 5: can read about that in our book Note Holds Barred,

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Speaker 5: a dual manifesto of sexual exploration.

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Speaker 4: And power out now for you pus sass host.

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Speaker 5: But yeah, I agree, I would love to hear more,

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Speaker 5: like maybe scenarios about your work life, maybe friendship. I mean,

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Speaker 5: we know that this is the sex, dating and Relationship Pod.

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Speaker 5: But god damn it, do you guys want to ask

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Speaker 5: us questions about aliens? Do y'all care our thoughts on

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Speaker 5: the democracy? What about like some hypotheticals like give us

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Speaker 5: something cute and fun, because goddamn, your relationships are depressing

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Speaker 5: the guys.

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Speaker 3: That secretly listen, I would actually like them to be

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Speaker 3: hitting us up for advice because what I realized over

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Speaker 3: the years as two women hosting a show, men don't

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Speaker 3: really want to.

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Speaker 4: Say out loud they listening to decisions decisions. So if

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Speaker 4: you are listening, does use let alias say don't read

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Speaker 4: my name, in which we don't. We don't even read

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Speaker 4: you bitch's names on you.

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Speaker 3: It's only if you're writy. I like when y'all do

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Speaker 3: little adjectives like single and confused.

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Speaker 4: That's the shit I meant to.

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Speaker 5: Well, please send us your questions where you need advice,

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Speaker 5: and you can send that to Decisions Pod at gmail

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Speaker 5: dot com. This one is interesting because the subject of

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Speaker 5: this email, bitch.

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Speaker 4: You asking us, Why don't you just ask your nigga? Now?

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Speaker 5: The question for today is, oh, no, is my boyfriend gay?

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Speaker 4: It's because you live in Atlanta? Bitch.

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Speaker 5: All right, let's get into it. Girl gays live outside

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Speaker 5: of Atlanta. But here we go. Now, this one's a

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Speaker 5: little long, so bear with me. But that means that

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Speaker 5: there's a lot of details for us to dissect. So

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Speaker 5: let's get into it.

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Speaker 4: Hi, Mandy and Wheezy.

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Speaker 5: I recently got into a relationship and I'm wondering if

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Speaker 5: my boyfriend is gay. In January of twenty twenty five,

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Speaker 5: we matched on a dating app and quickly set up

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Speaker 5: a coffee day. I met him for coffee during my

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Speaker 5: lunch break from work and we hit it off. He

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Speaker 5: actually lived in another state and was in town for work.

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Speaker 5: After coffee, he asked if I would be open to

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Speaker 5: joining him for dinner that night, and I gladly said.

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Speaker 2: Yes, okay.

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Speaker 4: Dinner was great right out the gate.

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Speaker 5: Dinner was great, but he had to go back home

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Speaker 5: the next day, so we weren't able to spend much

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Speaker 5: more time together. After we went back home, we talked

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Speaker 5: via text and voiced chat every day. We had a

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Speaker 5: couple of calls over the phone, but he said he

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Speaker 5: wasn't much of a phone talker. I didn't mind since

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Speaker 5: the communication was so consistent. He came out to visit

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Speaker 5: for Valentine's Day and mentioned that he also had an interview.

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Speaker 5: I got him a small gift, but he didn't get

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Speaker 5: me anything. He felt bad and got me something from

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Speaker 5: a store we stopped at for Valentine's Day. We went

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Speaker 5: to dinner and hit a couple of bars, and he

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Speaker 5: asked for us to be exclusively in our relationship. I said, yes,

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Speaker 5: that's funny, that's how that's the time. I'm fraid I

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Speaker 5: got in my relationship this year. Well, you mean Valentine's

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Speaker 5: Valentine's Yeah, well the week before because I was going

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Speaker 5: to All Star Weekend. Anyways, Shortly after him going back

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Speaker 5: home from his visit, he tells me he landed the

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Speaker 5: job and he will be moving to my town the

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Speaker 5: following month.

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Speaker 4: In March.

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Speaker 5: I was excited for the potential of this new relationship.

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Speaker 5: I was skeptical that this happened so quickly, but tried

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Speaker 5: to keep a positive outlook. He mentioned that back home

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Speaker 5: he had a roommate, which was a friend from college

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Speaker 5: that needed to get back on his feet because he

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Speaker 5: was an immigrant and a visa expired. At the end

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Speaker 5: of March, my boyfriend moved out here and got an

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Speaker 5: airbnb until he was able to get an apartment two

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Speaker 5: weeks later. I came to the apartment once and never

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Speaker 5: again because he said he didn't have any furniture. As

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Speaker 5: we continued to see each other, I started noticing that

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Speaker 5: he found men attractive by some of the comments he

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Speaker 5: made and one incident where he was clearly flirting with

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Speaker 5: a man and asked for his Instagram right in front

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Speaker 5: of me. I tried to ask him about his sexuality

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Speaker 5: and that topic was uncomfortable for him. He came from

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Speaker 5: a very religious family, so I figured that is where

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Speaker 5: the discomfort was and thought he might be bisexual, but

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Speaker 5: not ready to speak about it. Regardless, flirting with another

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Speaker 5: person in front of me is disrespectful and it didn't

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Speaker 5: sit with me well. We continue to spend every day

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Speaker 5: together until he went back home to get his belongings

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Speaker 5: to move to his new apartment. That's when everything changed.

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Speaker 5: His roommate from back home came to move with him

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Speaker 5: into his one bedroom apartment, which I wasn't initially made

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Speaker 5: aware of. I came over once to meet the guy,

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Speaker 5: and it wasn't clear that he knew I was the girlfriend.

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Speaker 5: He was showing me their plans and asking him that

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Speaker 5: I show him around town. I found this strange. I

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Speaker 5: asked my boyfriend, if he knew his friend was moving

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Speaker 5: with him, why not get a two bedroom instead of

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Speaker 5: one bedroom?

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Speaker 4: He said, he isn't supposed to stay here very long.

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Speaker 5: I then asked how long he had been living with

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Speaker 5: him back home, and he replied nine years. All of

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Speaker 5: the alarms started going off in my body, and I

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Speaker 5: thought to myself, this is his boyfriend and I am

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Speaker 5: his beard. Ever since his boyfriend moved into town, we

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00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:25,080
Speaker 5: have started seeing each other less and less the times

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Speaker 5: we do spend together. I paid more attention to him

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Speaker 5: and noticed that he only checks out met I should

380
00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:35,359
Speaker 5: have known better, because the intimacy EH wasn't there. He

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00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:38,360
Speaker 5: didn't like the tongue kiss, it would only give me pecks.

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Speaker 4: And we've only had sex two times.

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Speaker 2: Oh.

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Speaker 5: Both of those times, he couldn't keep it up, and

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Speaker 5: at one point started talking about the gay guy we

386
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:51,320
Speaker 5: previously met, whom he was farighting with. I was like, OMG,

387
00:18:52,040 --> 00:18:55,199
Speaker 5: he is fantasizing about other men to try to be

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Speaker 5: aroused enough to have sex with me. I'd like to

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Speaker 5: hear your thoughts on whether or not you think he

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Speaker 5: is gay, or whether or not his friend is actually

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Speaker 5: his gay life partner.

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Speaker 4: And should I break up with him? Thanks so much?

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Speaker 4: Love y'all. A beard for the.

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00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:16,359
Speaker 5: Boy singles in, confused, Well, she's in a relationship and confused.

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Speaker 3: I don't.

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00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:22,800
Speaker 4: But here's the thing. Sometimes, when.

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Speaker 3: When I get and this is advice for anyone, this

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Speaker 3: is actually unsolicited advice. Sometimes when I think the worst

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Speaker 3: even about somebody, and it could be someone I know,

400
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,679
Speaker 3: is the worst of a situation that I'm like, this is.

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00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:36,680
Speaker 4: A fuck nik, this is a person I've been burned

402
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:39,320
Speaker 4: by before. I still am like, well, why would they

403
00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:39,920
Speaker 4: want to do this?

404
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:47,760
Speaker 3: Why would he want to have his boyfriend fake the relationship?

405
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:50,359
Speaker 4: Why would he want to get now does he need

406
00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:50,840
Speaker 4: the beard?

407
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:54,240
Speaker 3: Like, if he's been living with this person so long,

408
00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:56,160
Speaker 3: why would he be putting them in on this plan

409
00:19:56,240 --> 00:19:57,000
Speaker 3: to coerce you?

410
00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:58,919
Speaker 4: Like, I don't think it's a coersion.

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00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:02,360
Speaker 5: She mentioned, and that he comes from a strong religious background,

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Speaker 5: so she feels like that's where his discomfort lies.

413
00:20:05,280 --> 00:20:06,600
Speaker 4: It's also interesting to.

414
00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:09,480
Speaker 5: Me that this is your boyfriend you are writing this.

415
00:20:09,640 --> 00:20:12,359
Speaker 5: By the way, this is brand new. We just got

416
00:20:12,400 --> 00:20:16,639
Speaker 5: this email at the end of September. So girl, you

417
00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,680
Speaker 5: started dating him back in February. You met him in January,

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00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:24,119
Speaker 5: and you've only had sex twice. So to me, here's

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Speaker 5: my question.

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Speaker 4: If you're.

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Speaker 5: Not bothered enough to already break up with him, are

422
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,800
Speaker 5: you fine actually being a beard?

423
00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,000
Speaker 4: Are you fine being with a man that you find bisexual?

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Speaker 5: You even said at the top of this letter you

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00:20:38,720 --> 00:20:42,919
Speaker 5: actually thought he was bisexual, and you still chose to

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Speaker 5: stay with him. Yes, flirting with other people, whether it's

427
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:50,080
Speaker 5: a man or woman in front of you, you find disrespectful,

428
00:20:50,359 --> 00:20:54,800
Speaker 5: but you didn't seem turned off or completely disattracted to

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Speaker 5: him or unattracted to him. With the fact that he

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00:20:58,040 --> 00:21:00,800
Speaker 5: was even flirting with a guy, I would have you

431
00:21:00,880 --> 00:21:03,720
Speaker 5: actually asked the questions to yourself. This isn't for me

432
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:07,399
Speaker 5: to determine whether that man is his boyfriend or whether

433
00:21:07,440 --> 00:21:10,480
Speaker 5: your boyfriend is gay. The question is are you fine

434
00:21:10,560 --> 00:21:13,640
Speaker 5: with existing as a quote unquote beard to a man

435
00:21:13,920 --> 00:21:18,159
Speaker 5: who may also have attractions and a potential relationship with

436
00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,760
Speaker 5: a man. Because to know that you're still with him

437
00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:23,080
Speaker 5: makes me feel like you're not that bothered by it.

438
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:25,760
Speaker 5: So maybe this is your chance to actually have the conversation,

439
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:30,320
Speaker 5: not questioning his relationship. But if you need more, I'm

440
00:21:30,359 --> 00:21:34,080
Speaker 5: assuming also you don't need more sex. However, he's showing

441
00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:37,040
Speaker 5: up has been enough, So I'm curious to know if

442
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,200
Speaker 5: maybe you just have to sit with yourself to know

443
00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,600
Speaker 5: what's being left out for you, because it's not his

444
00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:45,000
Speaker 5: sexuality that seems to be the problem at all.

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Speaker 3: So I'm starting to think maybe he's just like taking

446
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,600
Speaker 3: a gay out of it. What if he isn't gay,

447
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:54,399
Speaker 3: what if he's asexual, Because sometimes people that are asexual

448
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,919
Speaker 3: genuinely do have the attraction to you. They want the intimacy,

449
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,560
Speaker 3: they're able to perform and from antic scenarios so they

450
00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:03,200
Speaker 3: can show up for you how you need in life.

451
00:22:03,200 --> 00:22:06,160
Speaker 3: They can do all these things, but they're not necessarily

452
00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:09,680
Speaker 3: going to want to fuck you. And Ah, a sexual

453
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,720
Speaker 3: friend before that always had women think that he was gay,

454
00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:15,160
Speaker 3: and it was like super frustrating, to the point where

455
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,080
Speaker 3: even he was like, I really don't like men, but

456
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,639
Speaker 3: like the pressure that everyone's making you feel when you

457
00:22:20,720 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 3: don't want to be.

458
00:22:21,280 --> 00:22:22,359
Speaker 4: Sexual is really heavy.

459
00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:26,840
Speaker 3: So I actually think the larger question is the sexual aspect.

460
00:22:26,960 --> 00:22:27,480
Speaker 4: I agree.

461
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,400
Speaker 5: I was about to say, damn, y'all know I would

462
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,280
Speaker 5: date about sexual man, but so I was about to

463
00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:33,720
Speaker 5: say damn, what's worth your man being gay, your man

464
00:22:33,800 --> 00:22:36,239
Speaker 5: not wanting to have sex, And I'm like, whoa, I

465
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,119
Speaker 5: definitely want you to fuck me. So I think I

466
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,440
Speaker 5: agree with you, bro like because to.

467
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,840
Speaker 3: Me that even a gay nigga that's gonna end up

468
00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:46,800
Speaker 3: with you're gonna fuck like like it's just only twice

469
00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:48,200
Speaker 3: from February to September.

470
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 4: It's just so.

471
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:52,679
Speaker 5: Then maybe the question is if you move to a

472
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:56,879
Speaker 5: conversation for him to admit that maybe he's bisexual or

473
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,800
Speaker 5: he has any sort of attraction to men, right. I

474
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:06,000
Speaker 5: think to find out his level of sexual energy or

475
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:09,800
Speaker 5: appetite comes from maybe seeing if he's actually had sex

476
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:13,480
Speaker 5: with men, and if so, hopefully getting to the point

477
00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,320
Speaker 5: where he can express how often he has sex with men,

478
00:23:16,480 --> 00:23:17,880
Speaker 5: because in this point.

479
00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,520
Speaker 3: He wasn't that excited, Like maybe he wasn't flirting with

480
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:21,080
Speaker 3: the gay dude.

481
00:23:21,080 --> 00:23:24,720
Speaker 4: Maybe she's just so, what's the word?

482
00:23:25,480 --> 00:23:30,760
Speaker 3: Uh? When you're like, she's looking for something, Damn, I

483
00:23:30,800 --> 00:23:31,919
Speaker 3: can't get this word.

484
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:36,480
Speaker 4: She's looking for something like damn.

485
00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 3: I feel like it's such a basic word. I'm gonna

486
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:39,679
Speaker 3: probably get it later tonight.

487
00:23:41,359 --> 00:23:44,920
Speaker 5: When you're so, oh my god, girl, and you know, bitch,

488
00:23:44,960 --> 00:23:46,359
Speaker 5: I can't help you with the words.

489
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:49,120
Speaker 3: Okay, wait, hold on, it's the word when like you're

490
00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 3: looking around suspicious. Oh okay, okay, I thay, she's so

491
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,800
Speaker 3: suspicious about what the fuck is going on that maybe

492
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:57,119
Speaker 3: he wasn't flirting with the gay nigga.

493
00:23:57,160 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 4: Maybe he just friendly ass nig like.

494
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:02,200
Speaker 3: I don't know, because could be like, if you really

495
00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:05,080
Speaker 3: are suspicious about something, let's just say it's even a

496
00:24:05,160 --> 00:24:07,800
Speaker 3: cheating guy, you're gonna start looking at every woman in

497
00:24:07,800 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 3: his life, the girl he works with, a cousin. You

498
00:24:10,880 --> 00:24:14,879
Speaker 3: wna look at everybody because you're vicious. So at this point,

499
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:17,720
Speaker 3: because you can't figure out why you're not having the

500
00:24:17,800 --> 00:24:20,879
Speaker 3: volume of sex that you want, now you're looking at

501
00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:25,040
Speaker 3: these other area in its life that may be completely innocent.

502
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:28,199
Speaker 3: We're just labeling the gay on there. Do you live

503
00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,280
Speaker 3: in Atlanta's sister, Yeah, gay is a lot.

504
00:24:31,800 --> 00:24:33,919
Speaker 5: I mean well, I even don't even think where she

505
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:37,639
Speaker 5: lives matters because he moved. He moved to the city,

506
00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:41,160
Speaker 5: so he was living he was living somewhere else. I'm

507
00:24:41,280 --> 00:24:46,919
Speaker 5: curious to know to I'm not gonna lie. I just

508
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,600
Speaker 5: don't think if only a couple, if only a couple

509
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,119
Speaker 5: months later, first off, he moves to another city and

510
00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:55,320
Speaker 5: gets a one bedroom and has a guy move into

511
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,160
Speaker 5: the one bedroom. I think that's a lot like nigger

512
00:24:58,119 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 5: are y'all sleeping together at night?

513
00:24:59,680 --> 00:25:04,080
Speaker 3: Like I don't know one of my Okay, I gold

514
00:25:04,119 --> 00:25:06,920
Speaker 3: you with her fucking cousin for like a year.

515
00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:07,840
Speaker 4: That's family.

516
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:11,199
Speaker 5: A cousin is different than two people sleeping in the

517
00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:12,960
Speaker 5: sharing a room.

518
00:25:12,760 --> 00:25:15,720
Speaker 4: Together because they had a two bedroom before.

519
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,680
Speaker 5: And so maybe they maybe the city that they moved

520
00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,879
Speaker 5: to is more expensive and he could only get a

521
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 5: one bed.

522
00:25:22,359 --> 00:25:24,120
Speaker 4: Bro, why did that need to move? That is kind

523
00:25:24,119 --> 00:25:28,159
Speaker 4: of crazy. That's crazy, is it not? But I just

524
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,240
Speaker 4: don't think it's his boyfriend. Why don't you think that

525
00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:32,920
Speaker 4: their boyfriends? Do you just not think?

526
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:36,040
Speaker 5: Like, what makes based on all the information we got,

527
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:37,640
Speaker 5: what makes you think that's not his boyfriend?

528
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:39,120
Speaker 4: Because this lead into a boyfriend.

529
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:41,800
Speaker 2: To me, we're in twenty twenty five.

530
00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:45,359
Speaker 4: Okay, one can be religious and one can be out.

531
00:25:45,440 --> 00:25:49,439
Speaker 3: But it's pretty crazy to think that two people are

532
00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:50,600
Speaker 3: gonna be lying about the relationship.

533
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:52,679
Speaker 4: Well, so they're not lying, so no.

534
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:56,399
Speaker 5: She expressed that when she went to the house, he

535
00:25:56,600 --> 00:26:00,960
Speaker 5: seemed the roommate guy seemed oblivious to the fact that

536
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:04,159
Speaker 5: he even had a girlfriend and called the plants in

537
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,760
Speaker 5: the house their plants.

538
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:10,800
Speaker 4: So it's not that the roommate could be hiding at all.

539
00:26:11,160 --> 00:26:13,840
Speaker 3: It seems to be oblivious about the girlfriend is even bad.

540
00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:16,240
Speaker 4: I don't think that's bad, Like they've been living together

541
00:26:16,320 --> 00:26:18,160
Speaker 4: nine years. Of course they're their plants.

542
00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 3: But if there was, if it was his nigga, she

543
00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:23,440
Speaker 3: would have been able to see something else.

544
00:26:23,440 --> 00:26:26,439
Speaker 4: Like what if she was over the house. If it's

545
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:30,880
Speaker 4: two niggas in the closet.

546
00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:36,080
Speaker 3: This is hard because even though all roads lead to

547
00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:39,520
Speaker 3: gay and dick sucking, I'm just like, it can't.

548
00:26:39,160 --> 00:26:44,000
Speaker 5: Be that, but all roads literally lead to that's his boyfriend.

549
00:26:44,080 --> 00:26:47,360
Speaker 5: Yomana's gay insists you need to I'm not even gonna

550
00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,680
Speaker 5: tell you to break up with him. Well, that's the thing.

551
00:26:49,760 --> 00:26:51,440
Speaker 5: I'm not even gonna tell you to break up with him.

552
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:55,320
Speaker 5: That's why my advice was to that last question, what

553
00:26:55,359 --> 00:26:57,520
Speaker 5: do you want out of the relationship in are you

554
00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:59,879
Speaker 5: being fulfilled? And if this is a relationship that you

555
00:26:59,920 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 5: do want to keep intact, but you need more sex,

556
00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,639
Speaker 5: you know, the conversation always is to me, talk to

557
00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:08,439
Speaker 5: him about getting some other dick or whatever.

558
00:27:08,480 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 4: Else you want elsewhere? And see what his response is

559
00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:11,040
Speaker 4: to that.

560
00:27:11,640 --> 00:27:16,400
Speaker 5: Because if this all happened in like March April, bitsch,

561
00:27:16,480 --> 00:27:19,359
Speaker 5: just October, we in Q four hoe and you still

562
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,679
Speaker 5: with demand. You didn't even want a hot girl summer,

563
00:27:22,760 --> 00:27:26,240
Speaker 5: you stayed with him thinking he was gay all summer.

564
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:28,920
Speaker 4: Maybe it's really not a real relationship.

565
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,879
Speaker 5: And hear me out, oh, because bitches do be delusional

566
00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:37,200
Speaker 5: if it happened that fast, like did they even talk

567
00:27:37,280 --> 00:27:37,680
Speaker 5: every day?

568
00:27:37,720 --> 00:27:39,000
Speaker 4: Like I have you got it?

569
00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,199
Speaker 5: They met okay, they met on a they met on

570
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:45,959
Speaker 5: a dating app in January, met in person in January,

571
00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:53,159
Speaker 5: met for coffee, then had dinner the same night. Limited communication,

572
00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:55,320
Speaker 5: and I see limited because even if it was consistent,

573
00:27:55,680 --> 00:27:58,200
Speaker 5: I don't consider texting away you would get to know somebody.

574
00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 5: His next visit was Valentine's Day. So even if y'all

575
00:28:03,080 --> 00:28:07,680
Speaker 5: met on New Year's Eve, the most y'all knew each

576
00:28:07,720 --> 00:28:10,320
Speaker 5: other was six weeks before he said, be my girlfriend.

577
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:15,000
Speaker 3: That's not crazy, though, he just I just think they

578
00:28:15,080 --> 00:28:17,040
Speaker 3: just changed. I don't know how they are, but I'm

579
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:18,720
Speaker 3: gonna be realal with you. I've met a lot okay,

580
00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:21,760
Speaker 3: and men that be in relationships, But like.

581
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:22,760
Speaker 4: But if a man.

582
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:25,600
Speaker 5: If a man asks you to be his girlfriend and

583
00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:29,399
Speaker 5: to be exclusive, that actually does indicate that you're in

584
00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:32,080
Speaker 5: a relationship with that man, right saying.

585
00:28:31,880 --> 00:28:33,920
Speaker 3: It's not a relationship in the way that we think

586
00:28:34,280 --> 00:28:37,199
Speaker 3: a relationship should be the way that most people are

587
00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:40,920
Speaker 3: in relationships. Is they're gearing to date for the long haul,

588
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,520
Speaker 3: for XYZ whatever. I feel like both of them aren't

589
00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:48,080
Speaker 3: taking this shit serious, like to be having sex twice

590
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:52,320
Speaker 3: and not communicating about it. How real is your relationship, nigga?

591
00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:54,920
Speaker 3: You can't get an attitude twice before I bring it up?

592
00:28:54,960 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 5: What? Maybe they both a sexual? Because I don't see

593
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:01,480
Speaker 5: how do you? I don't see how well you've allowed

594
00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:05,520
Speaker 5: two times in ten months for how how many times

595
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:06,800
Speaker 5: you done got your back blown out?

596
00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 4: Sis?

597
00:29:07,680 --> 00:29:09,960
Speaker 3: It's just off, That's what I'm saying. They both just

598
00:29:09,960 --> 00:29:10,520
Speaker 3: feeling off.

599
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,200
Speaker 5: Bitch Mabe and I think that she wants to be

600
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:14,320
Speaker 5: an asexual beard.

601
00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 4: I think she's fine with being a beard. I just

602
00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:17,600
Speaker 4: think she.

603
00:29:17,600 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 5: Needs to be proud in bear. She literally signed the

604
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:24,880
Speaker 5: email a beard to a boy.

605
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 4: I still think he a sexual. I don't know why.

606
00:29:27,440 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 4: It's just the twice don't make sense.

607
00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:32,360
Speaker 3: Like think about when you've like had interactions with bi

608
00:29:32,440 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 3: and man fucked about it.

609
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,160
Speaker 4: They they are them niggas.

610
00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:40,600
Speaker 3: Fuck, That's what I'm saying, Like, bro, I got by

611
00:29:40,680 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 3: niggas be all my dick.

612
00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:47,680
Speaker 5: They're almost an unhealthy amount of sexual bisexual men arc

613
00:29:47,960 --> 00:29:50,040
Speaker 5: like well shit, bisexual women maybe too.

614
00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:52,080
Speaker 4: That's why we so God damn hoo. We've been inside

615
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,120
Speaker 4: of you once. Why wouldn't he want to be eating

616
00:29:54,160 --> 00:29:56,960
Speaker 4: you again? Also he did go again, just not again

617
00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 4: again and again. Yeah, something's off.

618
00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,760
Speaker 5: I really don't think to buy. I'm not gonna lie.

619
00:30:03,800 --> 00:30:08,760
Speaker 5: This is one of those where sis. Please let us

620
00:30:08,800 --> 00:30:11,160
Speaker 5: know how the conversation goes. I do want to know

621
00:30:11,240 --> 00:30:13,760
Speaker 5: if you can get down to the answers. Is that

622
00:30:13,920 --> 00:30:17,240
Speaker 5: his boyfriend? Have they been together for nine years? Are

623
00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:21,840
Speaker 5: they sleeping in the bed together? Is he asexual? And

624
00:30:21,880 --> 00:30:24,320
Speaker 5: we'll find all of this out next time on dragon

625
00:30:24,360 --> 00:30:27,800
Speaker 5: ball z. But no, seriously, please send it into us.

626
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:31,560
Speaker 5: Decisionspot at gmail dot com. Would love, love love. I'm

627
00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 5: gonna even respond to your email now, Bitch. We need

628
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:35,520
Speaker 5: the tea, we need the update.

629
00:30:36,920 --> 00:30:39,120
Speaker 4: Give it to us.

630
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,360
Speaker 3: Because I ain't gonna be able to leave bitch until

631
00:30:41,360 --> 00:30:42,080
Speaker 3: I find out.

632
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:45,920
Speaker 5: If your nigga, I need to know, I actually want

633
00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,600
Speaker 5: to know, and draw me your thoughts below.

634
00:30:48,760 --> 00:30:49,080
Speaker 4: Again.

635
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,560
Speaker 5: If you are on Patreon, you get to see this

636
00:30:51,680 --> 00:30:55,000
Speaker 5: full video, so go ahead and drop your thoughts if

637
00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 5: you're on Patreon. If not, head on over to our

638
00:30:57,800 --> 00:31:00,360
Speaker 5: social channels and let you let us know what you

639
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:01,400
Speaker 5: think needs to happen here.

640
00:31:01,400 --> 00:31:03,760
Speaker 4: Should she break up with him or she should she

641
00:31:03,840 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 4: just live.

642
00:31:04,200 --> 00:31:08,200
Speaker 5: Her best life as a beer Let us know, okay,

643
00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:10,160
Speaker 5: and we'll see y'all next week.

644
00:31:10,560 --> 00:31:18,520
Speaker 4: Bye,