1 00:00:01,080 --> 00:00:03,880 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need 2 00:00:03,920 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: advice on relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting, and more. Please 3 00:00:07,880 --> 00:00:10,960 Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVFM dot com and 4 00:00:11,080 --> 00:00:14,440 Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter 5 00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:16,480 Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read 6 00:00:16,520 --> 00:00:18,320 Speaker 1: this one right here, right now. 7 00:00:19,120 --> 00:00:20,880 Speaker 2: Buck it up and hold on tight. We got it 8 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:21,520 Speaker 2: for you here. 9 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:25,079 Speaker 1: It is by letter thanking a few subjects. I have 10 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:29,320 Speaker 1: the drummer, but I want the pastor. Dear Stephen Shirley. 11 00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 1: About a year ago, I left my home church to 12 00:00:31,720 --> 00:00:35,760 Speaker 1: join another church. I was dating the church's drummer and 13 00:00:35,800 --> 00:00:38,400 Speaker 1: he invited me to join. I fell in love with 14 00:00:38,479 --> 00:00:41,280 Speaker 1: the atmosphere of the church and the senior pastor was 15 00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:44,280 Speaker 1: really good. When I joined, I was asked to help 16 00:00:44,320 --> 00:00:47,840 Speaker 1: put together a praise dance team. I enlisted the help 17 00:00:47,880 --> 00:00:51,880 Speaker 1: of the associate pastor to help me. The associate pastor 18 00:00:51,960 --> 00:00:54,720 Speaker 1: is only three years older than me, and we connected 19 00:00:54,800 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 1: on so many levels. We went to the same college 20 00:00:58,440 --> 00:01:01,760 Speaker 1: and we have the same favorite restaurant. I was interested 21 00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:04,320 Speaker 1: in getting to know him better, but I was in 22 00:01:04,319 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 1: a relationship with the drummer. One Saturday, I was at 23 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:12,080 Speaker 1: a praise dance practice with the youth, and the associate 24 00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:16,600 Speaker 1: pastor brought my lunch from my favorite restaurant. After practice, 25 00:01:16,680 --> 00:01:20,440 Speaker 1: we ate together and had a great conversation. He said 26 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:24,360 Speaker 1: that my boyfriend, the drummer, is a ladies man and 27 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:27,520 Speaker 1: has been with several women in the church. That put 28 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,040 Speaker 1: me at ease about breaking up with the drummer so 29 00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:33,800 Speaker 1: I could pursue the associate pastor. A month after I 30 00:01:33,959 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 1: ended my relationship, I told the associate pastor how I 31 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:40,240 Speaker 1: felt about him. We talked on the phone off and on, 32 00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,679 Speaker 1: so I figured it was okay to let him know. 33 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:46,320 Speaker 1: He invited me to his place to talk. One thing 34 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:50,960 Speaker 1: led to another and we were intimate. He was exceptional 35 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 1: in the bedroom and too freaky to be a pastor. 36 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,520 Speaker 1: We talked daily for about a week afterwards, and then 37 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:01,120 Speaker 1: he ghosted me. I confronted him church and he said 38 00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:03,800 Speaker 1: he was wrong to have sex with me. I told 39 00:02:03,880 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 1: him I wanted it and I want him. He said, 40 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,600 Speaker 1: there's no way we can be together because my ex 41 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,680 Speaker 1: boyfriend goes to the church. I want this man and 42 00:02:12,720 --> 00:02:15,600 Speaker 1: we are so perfect for each other. Do I leave 43 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:21,000 Speaker 1: the church so we can be together? Please advise ooh, slow, 44 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 1: you're a role lady. 45 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 3: Please. 46 00:02:24,040 --> 00:02:27,239 Speaker 1: First of all, you're way too gullible, way too gullible 47 00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:30,600 Speaker 1: and easy. I mean, you're listening to this, to this man, 48 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:34,320 Speaker 1: the associate pastor bad mouth your boyfriend, the drummer, You 49 00:02:34,440 --> 00:02:38,240 Speaker 1: break up with your boyfriend, and then you sleep with 50 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:41,560 Speaker 1: the associate pastor just based on what he said. All 51 00:02:41,600 --> 00:02:44,440 Speaker 1: he had to do was just backstab your boyfriend and 52 00:02:44,480 --> 00:02:48,000 Speaker 1: then bring you a plate from your favorite restaurant. And 53 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:51,520 Speaker 1: now you want to leave this church to be with 54 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:53,720 Speaker 1: this man, to try and get this man. 55 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,040 Speaker 3: I just think you're a mess. 56 00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,680 Speaker 1: You know, you're all over the place. He has told 57 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:01,799 Speaker 1: you that you guys can't be together because of your 58 00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:05,800 Speaker 1: ex and you know, I think you need to listen. 59 00:03:05,960 --> 00:03:08,480 Speaker 1: I think you need to really hear what he's saying 60 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:12,680 Speaker 1: to you. All he wanted from you, he got okay 61 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,120 Speaker 1: that first night when you went over to his house, 62 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:18,760 Speaker 1: and you're still trying to pursue him. I think it's over. 63 00:03:18,919 --> 00:03:22,240 Speaker 1: He doesn't want you leave it alone. 64 00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 4: Steve, Okay, I had the drummer, but I want to pass. 65 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 2: Everybody's familiar with the familiar line. 66 00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:48,720 Speaker 4: Get a drama song, yeah, literally, and mess around. He 67 00:03:48,840 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 4: gave you a drama too much. Well, you've been dating 68 00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 4: the church's drama. You left your home church. Now you 69 00:03:55,920 --> 00:04:01,760 Speaker 4: left your home church for a reason for or maybe 70 00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:04,160 Speaker 4: it was somebody she was seeing at the home church. 71 00:04:06,320 --> 00:04:09,840 Speaker 4: I wouldn't put it pastor, he was dating the church's drummer. 72 00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:11,560 Speaker 4: He invited you to join, fell in love with the 73 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:17,200 Speaker 4: atmosphere of the church, and the senior pastor was really good. Now, 74 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 4: when she joined the church, they asked her to help 75 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:23,280 Speaker 4: put together a praise dance team. Now here we go, 76 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:26,960 Speaker 4: right here, they asked you to put together a praise 77 00:04:27,120 --> 00:04:30,320 Speaker 4: dance team. And the first thing you do is enlist 78 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:34,039 Speaker 4: the help of the associate pastor to help me. 79 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:38,120 Speaker 2: Since when is it the associate. 80 00:04:37,600 --> 00:04:42,520 Speaker 4: Pastor's position to put together to be praised dance team? 81 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:49,159 Speaker 2: The kids? You already started some mess. 82 00:04:49,400 --> 00:04:52,039 Speaker 4: You had your eyes on the dude in the first place, 83 00:04:52,080 --> 00:04:56,159 Speaker 4: that's why you enlisted the help of him to help you. 84 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 2: Well, guess what. 85 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,920 Speaker 4: Then, all of a sudden, there are the associated past 86 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:03,680 Speaker 4: that's only three years older than me, and we connected. 87 00:05:03,240 --> 00:05:04,680 Speaker 2: On so many levels. 88 00:05:04,960 --> 00:05:07,760 Speaker 4: We went to the same college, and we have the 89 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:09,400 Speaker 4: same favorite restaurant. 90 00:05:10,160 --> 00:05:11,200 Speaker 2: Well, I guess that's it. 91 00:05:11,320 --> 00:05:14,599 Speaker 1: Then we're together. 92 00:05:14,800 --> 00:05:18,520 Speaker 4: Yeah, well we waiting on sounded like a match made 93 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 4: in heaven to me, same college. Didn't know each other there, 94 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:26,480 Speaker 4: and you like the same restaurant if you're in a 95 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,599 Speaker 4: small ass town, it ain't but nothing down. 96 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:32,160 Speaker 2: There but Shoney's and a dentist my favorite of damn restaurant? 97 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:32,680 Speaker 2: Can it be? 98 00:05:34,800 --> 00:05:36,839 Speaker 4: I was interested in getting to know him better, but 99 00:05:36,920 --> 00:05:38,799 Speaker 4: I was in a relationship with the drummer. 100 00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,799 Speaker 2: So you was at the praise dance practice. 101 00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 4: The pastor brought you some lunch from your favorite restaurant. 102 00:05:45,400 --> 00:05:46,919 Speaker 2: After practice, we ate together. 103 00:05:46,920 --> 00:05:48,919 Speaker 4: You ain't never sit down on the bench somewhere and 104 00:05:49,160 --> 00:05:54,160 Speaker 4: ate had a great conversation romantic. Then conveniently, he just 105 00:05:54,360 --> 00:05:57,919 Speaker 4: happens to tell you that your boyfriend, the drummer, is 106 00:05:57,960 --> 00:06:01,279 Speaker 4: a ladies man and has been with several women in 107 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:05,320 Speaker 4: the church. Amazing how he just bought that. 108 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:11,920 Speaker 2: Up, isn't it slinging mud? Now? 109 00:06:11,960 --> 00:06:13,880 Speaker 4: All of a sudden that put me at ease about 110 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:16,200 Speaker 4: breaking up with the drummer so I could pursue the 111 00:06:16,320 --> 00:06:20,440 Speaker 4: associate pastor that you decided to pursue when you enlisted 112 00:06:20,520 --> 00:06:22,280 Speaker 4: him to help you with the praise team. 113 00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,479 Speaker 2: So I ain't surprised at none of that. 114 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:29,080 Speaker 4: What you're going to be surprised about is when we 115 00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 4: come back. 116 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:32,160 Speaker 2: What I have to tell you. 117 00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:38,360 Speaker 1: Okay, all right, hold on to that thought, Steve. We 118 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: will definitely come back at twenty three minutes after the hour. 119 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,200 Speaker 1: To get back into this letter and get part two 120 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 1: of Steve's response, I had the drummer, but I want 121 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:51,080 Speaker 1: the pastor. We'll get back into it, right, so she did. 122 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:56,200 Speaker 1: You're listening Hardy Morning show. All right, Come on, Steve, 123 00:06:56,279 --> 00:07:00,159 Speaker 1: let's recap today's strawberry letter. I had the drummer, but 124 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:01,320 Speaker 1: I want the pastor? 125 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:05,600 Speaker 4: Is the subjects lady that left her home church in 126 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 4: pursuit of the drummer invited her to come to the church. 127 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:11,640 Speaker 4: She fell in love with him, with the atmosphere, so 128 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:16,320 Speaker 4: she joined. She dating the drummer after she joined, and 129 00:07:16,400 --> 00:07:18,040 Speaker 4: told her, why don't you help put. 130 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,040 Speaker 2: Together praise dance team? 131 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:24,600 Speaker 4: They could have got anybody for that. There ain't no 132 00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 4: talent in picking the Paige dance team. 133 00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:31,280 Speaker 2: Who want to try out? All right? 134 00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 4: So anyway, when you found out you was gonna pick 135 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:39,800 Speaker 4: the team, you enlisted the help of the associate pastor. 136 00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 2: To help you pick the The dance team. All right. 137 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,760 Speaker 4: He's only three years older than me, and we connected 138 00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 4: on so many levels. We went to the same college, 139 00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,680 Speaker 4: that we got the same favorite restaurant. Well, if that's 140 00:07:53,720 --> 00:07:58,000 Speaker 4: all it takes, that was ladies. There's hope for everybody. 141 00:07:58,080 --> 00:08:02,280 Speaker 4: Now find to somebody like the same food you like, 142 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,440 Speaker 4: and the dean do is here comes the wedding. 143 00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:06,920 Speaker 2: All right. 144 00:08:07,720 --> 00:08:10,160 Speaker 4: One Saturday, he was at the praise dance practice. You 145 00:08:10,320 --> 00:08:13,720 Speaker 4: pastor brought you lunch from your favorite restaurant. Y'all sat down, 146 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:17,160 Speaker 4: talked to had a great conversation. In this great conversation, 147 00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:20,240 Speaker 4: he informed you that your boyfriend is a ladies man, 148 00:08:20,320 --> 00:08:23,160 Speaker 4: a player, and he has had several women at the church. 149 00:08:24,760 --> 00:08:27,040 Speaker 4: Then you said right away, well that put me in. 150 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:29,360 Speaker 4: He is about breaking up with the drummer. So I 151 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:33,400 Speaker 4: could pursue the associate pastor. Whoo you rolled it. You 152 00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:37,400 Speaker 4: just left your other church. Probably what some mess going 153 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:41,360 Speaker 4: on over there. A month after I ended my relationship, 154 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,440 Speaker 4: I told the associate pastor how I felt about him. 155 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,080 Speaker 4: We talked on the phone off and on, so I 156 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 4: figured it was okay to let him know. Well, he 157 00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:55,240 Speaker 4: invited you to his place. One thing led to another, 158 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:59,720 Speaker 4: and we were intimate. He was exceptional in the bedroom 159 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:01,559 Speaker 4: and too freaky to be a. 160 00:09:01,559 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 2: Pastor, lady, He ain't always been the pastor. 161 00:09:07,960 --> 00:09:10,280 Speaker 3: Past see, yeah, he was something. 162 00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,559 Speaker 4: Before the past. So why don't know why people be 163 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,320 Speaker 4: talking about he a pastor. I don't know where he 164 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,880 Speaker 4: got all that from from before he was the pastor. 165 00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:22,760 Speaker 2: So he then obviously turned you out. 166 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,520 Speaker 4: We talked daily for about a week afterwards, and then 167 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:30,680 Speaker 4: he ghosted me. So you did like most scorn people, 168 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:35,360 Speaker 4: you confronted him at church. Then he told you some 169 00:09:35,480 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 4: scripture he was wrong to have sex with you. He 170 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,440 Speaker 4: intended to do this all alone. That's why he told 171 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:46,520 Speaker 4: your boyfriend was a player. He wanted to just get 172 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:51,400 Speaker 4: you away from it. He ghosted you because he threw 173 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:55,240 Speaker 4: now ye over there, gonna try to put some spiritual 174 00:09:55,280 --> 00:09:57,600 Speaker 4: reason I was wrong to have sex with you. 175 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:00,679 Speaker 2: I told him I wanted it and a him. 176 00:10:01,360 --> 00:10:03,320 Speaker 4: He says, ain't no way we can be together because 177 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:06,800 Speaker 4: your ex boyfriend go to the church. I want this 178 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:09,000 Speaker 4: man and we are so perfect for each other. Do 179 00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,200 Speaker 4: I leave the church so we can be together? Piece 180 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:16,720 Speaker 4: of what you're gonna leave another church? So what you 181 00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,560 Speaker 4: really need to you really don't need to decide whether 182 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,720 Speaker 4: you need to leave or state you really need to 183 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,000 Speaker 4: decide and find out does he. 184 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,080 Speaker 2: Even won't you? 185 00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:32,880 Speaker 4: He doesn't because I don't care If your ex boyfriend 186 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 4: is the drummer, that's no reason why man don't want you. See, 187 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:44,800 Speaker 4: he was too freaky and you might not have been 188 00:10:44,880 --> 00:10:55,080 Speaker 4: freaky enough. Oh, all these letters bring out some bad things. 189 00:10:56,559 --> 00:11:00,600 Speaker 4: You have to face, so many things. Have to find 190 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:04,000 Speaker 4: out that you ain't all you thought you was. Now 191 00:11:04,040 --> 00:11:06,200 Speaker 4: you to find out he didn't ghost that you passed 192 00:11:06,200 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 4: his ghost people too, but he ghosted you with a scripture. 193 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,960 Speaker 4: I was wrong to have sex with you? Well he was? 194 00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,960 Speaker 4: What was he wrong when he was having sex with you? 195 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:18,960 Speaker 1: No, that didn't up. 196 00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 4: Or he just wrong for having half sex with you. 197 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,640 Speaker 1: See all it took was him to say that is 198 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 1: she broke up with the drummer. 199 00:11:28,440 --> 00:11:31,319 Speaker 2: Out that's who she wanted in the first place. 200 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:32,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. 201 00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:35,720 Speaker 4: Yeah, so now that's why she asked an associate pastor 202 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:36,760 Speaker 4: to assist. 203 00:11:36,440 --> 00:11:39,720 Speaker 2: Her in picking the praise dance team. Who need help 204 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:40,200 Speaker 2: doing that? 205 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:42,719 Speaker 3: Yeah? 206 00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:49,360 Speaker 2: Who gets cut from the praise dance team? Because you 207 00:11:49,520 --> 00:11:50,040 Speaker 2: at church? 208 00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:53,679 Speaker 4: You can't cut nobody from the praise dance team. If 209 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 4: you can't really praise dance. You stand there, holy flag 210 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:03,160 Speaker 4: up the water beds and stuff and sprayed dancers. 211 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,679 Speaker 2: They got something for you. 212 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:09,320 Speaker 4: You hold a little skinny girl rode while she hold 213 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:10,959 Speaker 4: around so it looked like she's flying. 214 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 2: Or you just be a basist. 215 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:16,160 Speaker 4: Sometimes your job is just to throw the little skinny 216 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:17,200 Speaker 4: ass praise dancer. 217 00:12:18,559 --> 00:12:20,720 Speaker 2: That's your job. We got job for big people on 218 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:21,440 Speaker 2: praise team. 219 00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:34,600 Speaker 3: I love praise dancers. I know, I know you do nothew, he. 220 00:12:34,600 --> 00:12:37,920 Speaker 4: Don't want you. You got played and it don't matter 221 00:12:37,960 --> 00:12:40,400 Speaker 4: if you leave that church or not. He's not gonna 222 00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:43,160 Speaker 4: stay with you. If you was perfect for him, he'd 223 00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:43,680 Speaker 4: have you. 224 00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,200 Speaker 1: She's going to church for the wrong man. 225 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,559 Speaker 2: You going to church for the wrong reasons. 226 00:12:49,800 --> 00:12:53,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, you a church for the drummer and the pastor, 227 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:56,480 Speaker 4: for the Lord and the atmosphere. 228 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:58,200 Speaker 2: Get a drummer. 229 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:05,880 Speaker 1: So post your comments on Today's Strawberry Letter at Steve 230 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:09,000 Speaker 1: Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry 231 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:13,800 Speaker 1: Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to The Harvey Morning 232 00:13:13,840 --> 00:13:14,080 Speaker 1: Show