WEBVTT - “I SLEEP WITH MY MOM” 0:00:02.920 --> 0:00:03.680 Hey, what's up? Man? 0:00:03.880 --> 0:00:06.680 Hey, hmm, I just got back from work. 0:00:06.800 --> 0:00:07.600 What do you do for work? 0:00:07.800 --> 0:00:10.799 I basically sick. So you know how every school kid 0:00:10.840 --> 0:00:12.480 has a chromebook? I fixed those. 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:17.560 Oh that's nice our kids do. Do you ever see 0:00:17.600 --> 0:00:21.480 like kids like going on porn hub and ship? 0:00:25.040 --> 0:00:28.960 I mean, of course I've never seen it myself because 0:00:29.000 --> 0:00:31.880 I work, sorry, and this is a bit nervous. So 0:00:32.040 --> 0:00:34.440 I work like in the back office where we just 0:00:34.520 --> 0:00:36.640 get like a bunch of bunch of broken ship and 0:00:36.720 --> 0:00:40.000 I'll see on the notes it'll say that the kid 0:00:40.040 --> 0:00:42.480 was on a movie site where the kid was watching porn. 0:00:42.840 --> 0:00:45.920 That's crazy. Do they get do you like, like, have 0:00:46.000 --> 0:00:50.640 you ever like seen like like you check the history 0:00:50.640 --> 0:00:52.559 of the chromebook and it's a bunch of porn? Like 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:53.880 do you ever rat the kid out? 0:00:55.640 --> 0:00:59.560 Oh? Of course, Uh, it's kind of tempting, but I 0:00:59.560 --> 0:01:02.040 don't really because I don't want to know what the 0:01:02.160 --> 0:01:04.760 kid is watching. You know, that's weird. 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:08.039 That is weird. I agree with that. It's better to 0:01:08.480 --> 0:01:10.360 that's the kind of thing that you want to just 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:16.960 remove from your brain entirely and not deal with. Yeah, 0:01:17.040 --> 0:01:19.080 A mod is am I saying that? Right? 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:22.000 Yeah? Mod? I mean. 0:01:23.680 --> 0:01:27.399 You said. Here's what you texted me. You said, my 0:01:27.480 --> 0:01:29.920 name is a mod I'm twenty years old. I want 0:01:29.959 --> 0:01:34.440 to talk about how I immigrated to America ten years 0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:38.280 ago from Pakistan. And you also added this, You said, 0:01:38.840 --> 0:01:43.600 I also still sleep with my mom parentheses. You added 0:01:43.640 --> 0:01:47.600 this parentheses. You said parentheses not in a weird way? 0:01:48.480 --> 0:01:50.320 What's up? Tell me? 0:01:50.400 --> 0:01:54.800 More so, do you want to know about the immigration 0:01:54.920 --> 0:01:56.280 part or the mom part? 0:01:56.920 --> 0:02:01.880 Are they related in any way shape or for him? 0:02:02.160 --> 0:02:04.800 I mean, I guess a little bit, because you know 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:10.079 how in Southeasian culture, families are like really close together. Sure, 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:14.680 yeah so, but that's not really the reason. I guess. 0:02:14.919 --> 0:02:21.440 The reason is basically, my mom has schizophrenia, so she'll 0:02:21.520 --> 0:02:26.400 have like involuntary movements and whatnot. So I do still 0:02:26.440 --> 0:02:31.160 sleep with her on the same bed if you can imagine, Oh, so. 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:34.120 You sleep with her in the same bed, yeah, like 0:02:34.280 --> 0:02:37.720 help her out with the queen in voluntary movements. 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:41.440 Well, I mean, it's not like crazy. She's basically a 0:02:41.520 --> 0:02:46.920 normal person. But like sometimes I well, I don't know, 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:51.440 schizophrenia is really like unpredictable, so sometimes to randomly have 0:02:51.600 --> 0:02:54.720 like moments. But overall she is just a regular person. 0:02:55.520 --> 0:02:57.880 M do you sleep with in the same bed, like, 0:02:57.880 --> 0:03:00.800 like to help her out in cases she needs help? 0:03:02.800 --> 0:03:06.720 Yeah? So I mean sometimes he will just like I 0:03:06.760 --> 0:03:09.679 guess randomly started like swinging your hands on whatever hand. 0:03:11.160 --> 0:03:12.799 I don't know, So that's why. 0:03:13.600 --> 0:03:18.120 How often do you need to help her? 0:03:20.080 --> 0:03:23.320 I mean, as I said, it's mostly a normal person. 0:03:23.520 --> 0:03:26.240 To be honest, that'll have to like once a month 0:03:26.360 --> 0:03:31.560 or something, or if something like preggers are specifically, Do. 0:03:31.520 --> 0:03:33.320 You sleep in the bed with her every night? 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:37.360 Every night? Do? 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:39.840 I'm curious? What's up with your dad? Is he not 0:03:39.880 --> 0:03:40.720 around to help out? 0:03:41.920 --> 0:03:46.600 Well, my dad sleeps. It's so it's a queen size 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:49.720 bed and then there's like a regular like a single 0:03:49.760 --> 0:03:53.120 mattress right next to it, so I basically sleep in 0:03:53.240 --> 0:03:56.400 between my mom and dad. Oh my god, it's so 0:03:56.560 --> 0:04:01.080 weird to say that out loud now because I've never ever. 0:04:03.240 --> 0:04:05.760 So wait, let me get this straight. I'm it's a 0:04:05.800 --> 0:04:09.280 queen size bed. So you you there's a mattress by 0:04:09.440 --> 0:04:11.320 the bed and you sleep on that, So you don't 0:04:11.320 --> 0:04:13.640 actually don't sleep in the same bed as your mom. 0:04:14.120 --> 0:04:17.240 You sleep on a mattress. But you said you sleep 0:04:17.240 --> 0:04:18.920 on a mattress by the bed. 0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:23.000 That's that's my dad. So I sleep in between my 0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:24.000 mom and my dad. 0:04:24.600 --> 0:04:28.000 Okay, so there's a okay, so there's a mattress on 0:04:28.040 --> 0:04:31.360 the floor next to the bed where your dad sleeps. 0:04:32.000 --> 0:04:35.719 And then it's not on the floor, where is it. 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:41.159 Well, it's so we don't even have like a bed bed. 0:04:41.240 --> 0:04:43.279 It's just like a frame. I don't know if you 0:04:43.279 --> 0:04:45.320 know what I'm talking about, but it's a metal frame. 0:04:46.680 --> 0:04:49.600 So we just put the mattress on that. So we're 0:04:49.600 --> 0:04:51.120 all we're all on the same height. 0:04:53.040 --> 0:04:56.200 So you put so you I'm still I'm gonna get 0:04:56.200 --> 0:05:01.120 this floor planned, right. So you so you have basically 0:05:01.120 --> 0:05:03.360 you push two beds together, is what I'm hearing. 0:05:04.080 --> 0:05:05.920 Exactly exactly, Okay, all right. 0:05:05.839 --> 0:05:10.240 You have two you have a queen sized bed and 0:05:10.360 --> 0:05:14.240 another and a queen size mattress. You have there's two beds, 0:05:14.480 --> 0:05:17.040 a mattress on a bed frame is a bed. So 0:05:17.160 --> 0:05:21.440 you have two beds pushed together, and on one bed 0:05:21.520 --> 0:05:24.400 your dad sleeps, and then in the and then in 0:05:24.440 --> 0:05:26.240 the middle you sleep in the middle of your mom 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:26.760 and your dad. 0:05:27.880 --> 0:05:30.320 Yes, exactly, Okay. 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:38.520 I'm curious. So first, first of all, uh, actually I 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:41.919 have a lot of questions about this ahead, why do 0:05:42.000 --> 0:05:44.880 you Why do you sleep in the middle of your 0:05:45.200 --> 0:05:49.080 parents instead of if your dad's there. I understand that, yeah, 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:52.160 that you're doing what you do. I understand that you're 0:05:52.200 --> 0:05:54.560 sleeping with your mom to help her out, which I 0:05:54.560 --> 0:05:56.599 think is very is very noble of you to do. 0:05:57.279 --> 0:06:02.159 But why are you can your dad not help? 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:07.520 Okay? So my dad he basically works like a very 0:06:07.600 --> 0:06:10.719 early morning job, so he makes up like at four am, 0:06:11.360 --> 0:06:13.160 so and my mom obviously doesn't. 0:06:13.520 --> 0:06:19.960 So that's why, Okay, do you does your mom need 0:06:20.000 --> 0:06:22.200 help so much that you need to sleep in the 0:06:22.240 --> 0:06:23.120 bed with her? 0:06:23.200 --> 0:06:23.279 Like? 0:06:23.320 --> 0:06:25.760 Are you not able to like be in like room? 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:25.960 Not? 0:06:26.000 --> 0:06:30.120 Even to be honest, it's it's not even that, Like, 0:06:30.839 --> 0:06:34.840 I don't know. I'm just I'm ever since i've been 0:06:34.839 --> 0:06:37.279 a kid, as I said, in South Asian family, we 0:06:37.360 --> 0:06:40.200 do just I always slept with my parents, and then 0:06:40.200 --> 0:06:45.000 when I grew up gradually, I guess I don't know why, 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:48.000 But I mean I have siblings that have their own rooms, 0:06:48.040 --> 0:06:50.680 but I don't have a room, so I just kind 0:06:50.680 --> 0:06:53.040 of sleep with my mom. That's all. 0:06:54.080 --> 0:06:57.520 Now your siblings do they are they all in they 0:06:57.600 --> 0:07:00.279 have the same room, they each have their own room 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.640 in the same house as you and your and your parents. 0:07:02.800 --> 0:07:05.560 Yeah, so we have a three bed apartment. I have 0:07:05.600 --> 0:07:08.520 two older brothers. They're like in their twenties as well, 0:07:08.600 --> 0:07:11.040 but they're like late twenties. I literally just learned twenty 0:07:11.080 --> 0:07:14.960 like a month ago, and I'm still I don't have 0:07:15.000 --> 0:07:16.760 my own room yet. I guess we just have three 0:07:16.840 --> 0:07:19.960 rooms only in this apartment. So my older siblings at 0:07:19.960 --> 0:07:21.640 their own room and I'm sharing the room with my 0:07:21.720 --> 0:07:24.880 mom and my dad. 0:07:25.920 --> 0:07:31.560 Do you leave, Like, okay, let me ask you this. So, 0:07:32.120 --> 0:07:35.720 so it sounds it sounds as though it would be 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:39.640 okay your mom. You it would be okay if you 0:07:39.760 --> 0:07:41.840 were not sleeping in the same bed as your mom 0:07:42.000 --> 0:07:45.320 in terms of your need to help her. But it's 0:07:45.400 --> 0:07:46.000 just what you. 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:46.920 Could get done. 0:07:47.840 --> 0:07:49.760 So I'm not I'm not like, I'm not. I'm just 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:53.760 trying to understand situations. But it sounds like it sounds 0:07:53.800 --> 0:07:57.200 like it is not necessary to help your mom to 0:07:57.240 --> 0:07:58.960 sleep in the bed with her, but you do it 0:07:58.960 --> 0:08:01.840 because it's what you've always done. 0:08:03.280 --> 0:08:06.680 I guess. So most like nine of the time, Yeah, 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:09.000 but there are, as I said, some days where her 0:08:09.040 --> 0:08:13.400 schizophrenia will like spike. I guess some like specific things 0:08:13.440 --> 0:08:15.960 trigger her, so then I will have to sleep with her. 0:08:16.720 --> 0:08:23.200 Okay, but mostly you are right, So let's get into this. Okay. Now, 0:08:23.400 --> 0:08:27.440 now that I understand the situation, how do you how 0:08:27.480 --> 0:08:30.320 do you personally feel about the situation? 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:36.760 So, I mean, I honestly don't even think about her 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:40.120 negatively because it's not, as I said, it's not really 0:08:40.160 --> 0:08:43.400 in a weird way. I like, because I said, my 0:08:43.480 --> 0:08:47.160 mom schizophrenia. So I have a very I guess special 0:08:47.200 --> 0:08:50.840 relationship with her and I love her to death basically, 0:08:51.600 --> 0:08:54.120 So I guess this is one of the ways that 0:08:54.200 --> 0:08:57.400 I can show my appreciation for her, that every night 0:08:57.480 --> 0:08:59.960 I'm there for her, you know, in case something triggers her. 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:11.520 Okay mmmm, and you're you're twenty right, yeah, okay, No, no, no, no, no, no, 0:09:11.520 --> 0:09:12.960 I'm not. I don't say that, but I don't say 0:09:13.040 --> 0:09:14.760 I swear to God, I mean, I don't. I don't 0:09:14.760 --> 0:09:15.440 say that with judgment. 0:09:15.480 --> 0:09:18.079 I just don't, but I do. I don't blame you. 0:09:18.160 --> 0:09:19.880 It is kind of weird that. 0:09:20.120 --> 0:09:22.320 No, no, no, no, I'm not. I'm making no judges about it. 0:09:23.080 --> 0:09:26.640 But I want to understand. Do you do you do 0:09:26.760 --> 0:09:30.760 you go to do you go to school? Do you work? 0:09:32.000 --> 0:09:36.079 Yeah, that's totally before. I'm doing an internship actually at 0:09:36.120 --> 0:09:41.040 the at the local public school where I fixed kids chromeebooks, 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:42.440 and I go to college full time. 0:09:42.600 --> 0:09:44.679 Oh right, right, you totally. You told me all that, 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:46.200 and we talked about the port due. 0:09:46.240 --> 0:09:48.480 Yeah, I'm a normal guy outside of this. 0:09:49.080 --> 0:09:52.920 I'm not. I'm not I'm not saying that you're I'm 0:09:52.960 --> 0:09:59.920 not saying you're okay. So clearly, okay, so clearly, clearly, clearly, 0:10:00.360 --> 0:10:03.880 and again I'm not saying anything about I'm not here. 0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:06.280 I'm not saying, oh this is weird, this is fucked up, whatever, 0:10:06.600 --> 0:10:09.040 but clearly you you seem to be self conscious that 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:09.400 it is. 0:10:10.520 --> 0:10:13.480 Yeah. Of course, as as I told you, this was 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:16.320 literally the first time ever this has ever come out 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:19.920 of my mouth. It's always only been thought, Okay. 0:10:21.600 --> 0:10:23.400 Do you do you have do you have like friends? 0:10:24.960 --> 0:10:28.720 Of course, dude, I have I don't know, I have 0:10:28.800 --> 0:10:31.839 college friends, I have work friends, high school friends that 0:10:31.880 --> 0:10:32.560 I still talk to. 0:10:33.280 --> 0:10:36.079 And you you've you this, You've kind of kept this 0:10:36.200 --> 0:10:38.320 a secret from all of them. 0:10:38.880 --> 0:10:43.160 Yep, yep, yep, why are you I don't know, we 0:10:43.280 --> 0:10:47.920 never when we just never I guess it never comes 0:10:48.000 --> 0:10:50.680 up the topic of like where we live and whatever. 0:10:50.760 --> 0:10:53.480 I don't know that's true because I guess my I 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:56.040 guess my sleeping arrangements also don't really come up in 0:10:56.080 --> 0:10:57.680 conversation that much with my friends. 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:00.959 Yeah, there you go. And even I did, to be honest, 0:11:01.040 --> 0:11:02.520 I wouldn't I wouldn't share that. 0:11:04.520 --> 0:11:04.960 M hm. 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:15.000 Hmm. Okay, So why tell me why you feel compelled 0:11:15.080 --> 0:11:16.720 or what made you want to come on here and 0:11:16.760 --> 0:11:17.320 talk about it? 0:11:19.320 --> 0:11:25.680 So, I mean recently, so at this college INMNT, they 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:31.280 offer free counseling, which is pretty amazing, and I've recently 0:11:31.320 --> 0:11:36.000 started it. So in my culture, counseling isn't even really 0:11:36.080 --> 0:11:39.480 like believe in or therapy, whatever you want to call it. 0:11:39.960 --> 0:11:42.480 So I recently started that, just I don't know when, 0:11:42.520 --> 0:11:44.920 because I saw I was threading and it was on campus, 0:11:45.360 --> 0:11:47.520 and after that, I was been thinking about my life, 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:53.800 like as myself individually, and I realized, just upon reflection, 0:11:54.080 --> 0:11:57.160 how weird this is. And I was like, I'm not 0:11:57.240 --> 0:12:00.560 gonna let this be, you know, unknown to put it 0:12:00.600 --> 0:12:04.040 out there, because it just feels crean to to say 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:05.400 it out loud. I guess. 0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:12.080 So that's an interesting thing. That you're touching goon Like culturally, 0:12:13.200 --> 0:12:16.240 where you come from and what you understand is very 0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:22.079 like communal, family oriented, and it's kind of been that 0:12:22.120 --> 0:12:26.000 way your whole life. And now you're examining your life 0:12:26.840 --> 0:12:30.600 as an individual and you know how you feel about things. 0:12:30.640 --> 0:12:32.760 What you want is that? Is that accurate? 0:12:34.040 --> 0:12:35.000 Yeah? Exactly. 0:12:36.440 --> 0:12:40.440 So in examining yourself as an individual, what what have 0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:42.880 you observed? What what have you come up with? 0:12:44.640 --> 0:12:49.920 So my life is just really interesting, man, I don't know, 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:56.079 it's it's really weird because I was like kind when 0:12:56.080 --> 0:12:59.160 I immigrated to the US, and now I'm tony, so 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:01.280 I'm a gorant here, like I guess at a really 0:13:01.320 --> 0:13:05.000 critical point, you know, so I don't even understand. Like 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:08.880 half my life is kind of, as I said, just cultural, 0:13:09.000 --> 0:13:11.760 and then half is like I don't know that it's complicated. 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:14.000 But I'm talking to a real therapist about that. 0:13:16.880 --> 0:13:21.600 Tell tell them, well, tell me about immigrating here. 0:13:23.600 --> 0:13:28.240 Uh well, so I was ten, I literally, So that's 0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:31.000 the three part is I was never really taught English, 0:13:31.120 --> 0:13:34.080 like formally in Pakistan, but I used to play like 0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:38.520 counter Strike online and I would I literally just learned 0:13:38.520 --> 0:13:42.240 English from the video game. If that makes any sense. Yeah, 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:45.520 So when I came here, I was able to talk 0:13:45.600 --> 0:13:48.720 to people man, just by playing using my computer and 0:13:48.760 --> 0:13:50.600 stuff in English. 0:13:50.720 --> 0:13:52.960 And I know I've talked to a lot of people 0:13:53.000 --> 0:13:57.920 who they've they've learned English from playing online video games, 0:13:58.080 --> 0:14:01.400 so you know, all of them know how to tell 0:14:01.440 --> 0:14:03.760 you in perfect English that they fucked your mom. 0:14:05.800 --> 0:14:09.160 Exactly. That that is where it starts. 0:14:11.160 --> 0:14:11.800 I interrupted. 0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:15.599 You keep going, Oh, yeah, So I was in the 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:18.440 fourth grade when I came here. I think they placed 0:14:18.480 --> 0:14:21.080 me a grade down even though my age was like ten. 0:14:21.640 --> 0:14:25.840 But whatever. So I came here in fourth grade, went 0:14:25.880 --> 0:14:28.160 through all the high school, middle school, you know whatever. 0:14:29.480 --> 0:14:34.000 It was weird. I didn't really have There's not really 0:14:34.040 --> 0:14:37.560 a lot of other Pakistani people where I live, so 0:14:37.760 --> 0:14:40.760 it was kind of weird. You know. I just felt 0:14:40.760 --> 0:14:43.840 like I was trying to sit in and whatever. But 0:14:44.480 --> 0:14:48.240 now that I'm in college, there are other Pakistani people 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:50.920 that I am relating with and just blending in with 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:55.520 the regular American people as well. So it's been a journey. 0:14:55.600 --> 0:15:00.680 But overall, I will say I'm so grateful for event because, 0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:03.440 as everybody knows, Pakistan is not really you know, the 0:15:03.440 --> 0:15:04.240 best place to. 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:09.200 Live are you friends now with a lot of other 0:15:09.360 --> 0:15:10.360 people from Pakistan. 0:15:12.400 --> 0:15:17.200 Uh, well, I mean in America. Yeah. It's funny because 0:15:17.760 --> 0:15:20.560 sometimes because when I was in fourth grade in Pakistan, 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:22.800 I had like a Facebook and ship. So I'll like 0:15:23.080 --> 0:15:25.880 look at my Facebook and see what my old fourth 0:15:25.880 --> 0:15:28.040 grade taxisan your friends are doing now? 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:33.280 Interesting? Okay, So how does how does life in America 0:15:33.360 --> 0:15:36.320 for you and and like for your American friends compare 0:15:36.440 --> 0:15:39.840 to what you see on Facebook from your Pakistani friends? 0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:46.360 Oh dude, So the one big big thing is in Pakistan, dude. 0:15:47.360 --> 0:15:50.720 So you know, in Muslim countries, like women and men 0:15:50.760 --> 0:15:53.760 are like kind of separated. So in Pakistan, dude, you 0:15:53.760 --> 0:15:56.080 can hug a guy, you go, children shoulder down the 0:15:56.080 --> 0:15:59.800 street with them. In America, I've noticed that, like guys 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:03.840 aren't like that clothes. But I know that's one thing. 0:16:05.320 --> 0:16:09.320 Wait, okay, so so because so I so in Pakistan, 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:10.920 are you not, like, you know, are you allowed to 0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:14.120 like hold hands with your you. 0:16:14.080 --> 0:16:17.680 Will straight up, yeah they do. It's not that you're 0:16:17.760 --> 0:16:23.720 allowed if they do. Wait, is it sounds weird? Because 0:16:24.360 --> 0:16:29.400 oh they are allowed. You know, kids hold hands, Guys 0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:31.720 hold hands while they walk down the street, Guys have 0:16:32.360 --> 0:16:35.080 hands around each other's neck while they walk down the street. 0:16:35.200 --> 0:16:40.000 That's like culture. It's weird because Muslim countries they like 0:16:40.080 --> 0:16:43.960 hate gay stuff and whatever, you know, but it's I 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:44.800 don't I don't get it. 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:48.680 Huh wait, So so what I'm hearing is that is 0:16:48.720 --> 0:16:52.000 that the Muslim countries hate gay stuff, but they love 0:16:52.080 --> 0:16:53.800 a good romance. 0:16:54.800 --> 0:17:00.200 Exactly. That is exactly. That's that's one thing good I 0:17:00.360 --> 0:17:03.520 really noticed the lack of in America. It's hard to get, 0:17:03.560 --> 0:17:09.640 you know, like like FROs. 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:11.200 Very very interesting to hear that. So people in in 0:17:11.200 --> 0:17:16.040 in Pakistan are a lot more touchy feely and and 0:17:16.040 --> 0:17:16.640 and openly. 0:17:16.800 --> 0:17:19.280 Yeah, like when I was in fourth grade, dude, I 0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:21.240 would have my friend group, you know, we would be 0:17:21.800 --> 0:17:24.800 all touchy touchy Okay, I don't want to say an 0:17:24.840 --> 0:17:25.199 he was. 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:33.159 That's so funny. Hmmm. So so wait, so you're allowed. 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:36.719 So it's cool to walk down the street in Pakistan 0:17:37.160 --> 0:17:40.760 holding hands with another man as long as you guys 0:17:40.760 --> 0:17:41.800 aren't fucking. 0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:48.000 If you would have if you would have as an American, 0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:50.320 of course that's gonna sound weird, but I'm telling you 0:17:50.400 --> 0:17:52.880 that is okay. 0:17:54.280 --> 0:17:57.080 So I don't know, do you think that, like, well, 0:17:57.119 --> 0:17:59.040 we kind of touched on on on this a little 0:17:59.040 --> 0:18:01.480 bit when we were talking about, like, you know, maybe 0:18:01.480 --> 0:18:03.840 the reasoning why you you're sleeping in your mom's bed 0:18:03.880 --> 0:18:09.200 of like the culturally. Culturally there's a stronger emphasis on 0:18:09.240 --> 0:18:14.480 on community and family and togetherness maybe than there is 0:18:14.640 --> 0:18:16.680 here in the United States, and so that's why there's 0:18:16.760 --> 0:18:19.600 less of there's less romance here. 0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:23.160 Do exactly hit the nail on the head. 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:27.479 That's fascinating. Okay, anything else that you've you've noticed from 0:18:27.640 --> 0:18:31.800 observing your your your buddies on Facebook. 0:18:34.320 --> 0:18:41.359 Specifically my buddy's on Facebook, I've noticed that, uh, let's see, 0:18:43.640 --> 0:18:52.919 I mean it is I mean they're all graduated and stuff, 0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:57.120 and I've noticed that like in tagastand getting a job 0:18:57.160 --> 0:19:00.879 and stuff, it's it's like impossible unless you have connections 0:19:00.920 --> 0:19:04.520 and stuff. I've noticed that even though they're all graduated now, 0:19:06.040 --> 0:19:07.639 like they're the same age as me. Of course, so 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:10.720 they've graduated high school and they're intelleges and stuff. So 0:19:10.800 --> 0:19:13.640 now while I'm in America and I can find internships 0:19:13.680 --> 0:19:18.080 and whatnot, dude, in Pakistan it's a it's a hellhole. Dude. 0:19:18.760 --> 0:19:21.880 It's kind of impossible to make it just through hard work. There, 0:19:22.200 --> 0:19:25.000 and I mean, I love my country or death then, 0:19:25.160 --> 0:19:26.960 but it's it's not fair. 0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:31.280 Mhm. So you really so it is true that there's 0:19:31.320 --> 0:19:34.679 like greater opportunity for you in America than in Pakistan. 0:19:36.240 --> 0:19:39.000 Yeah, they'd one hundred percent, like even though of course 0:19:39.040 --> 0:19:43.119 America has its own trouble is like, but I've noticed 0:19:43.119 --> 0:19:47.480 that it is still better than Pakistan, you know, exponentially. 0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:48.560 M hm. 0:19:49.680 --> 0:19:52.400 So your homies that are all like your age, now, 0:19:52.400 --> 0:19:53.080 what are they doing? 0:19:55.040 --> 0:20:01.760 Dude? They're sick, yes, trying to be a photographer. You know, 0:20:01.800 --> 0:20:04.399 they're in that phase. You know how people have that 0:20:04.440 --> 0:20:07.040 phase where they want to be a rapper or whatever. Yeah, 0:20:07.160 --> 0:20:09.320 Pakistan is really common to have as a phase where 0:20:09.320 --> 0:20:12.119 they want to be a photographer. Dude, go where Sun's glasses, 0:20:12.119 --> 0:20:13.520 to go out in the streets. You know? 0:20:14.480 --> 0:20:17.159 Is that a specific? Is this is that specific to Pakistan? 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:21.080 Well? I don't. I don't think specific a Taksana specific 0:20:21.160 --> 0:20:24.720 bit of friends that I knew, I guess m hm hmm. 0:20:26.160 --> 0:20:30.359 What's your version of that? What do you uh want 0:20:30.359 --> 0:20:31.880 to be when you grow up? 0:20:34.800 --> 0:20:38.960 I I'll be honest, I don't even have like a 0:20:39.040 --> 0:20:41.680 big you know how people always say they want to 0:20:41.680 --> 0:20:43.840 be a millionaire or whatever. To be honest, I just 0:20:43.840 --> 0:20:47.520 want to live a regular life, dude. Like sometimes I'll 0:20:47.560 --> 0:20:50.040 think about it, and my ideal life is kind of 0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:54.000 graduating from college or working in it and like a 0:20:54.040 --> 0:20:56.440 local public school or something where it's like a government 0:20:56.520 --> 0:21:00.760 job so there's not really like pressure and just getting 0:21:00.800 --> 0:21:03.600 a house and why some kids, Dude, that's it, That's 0:21:03.600 --> 0:21:04.120 what I want. 0:21:09.600 --> 0:21:15.320 So going back to your discovery of your individual or 0:21:15.520 --> 0:21:22.240 or exploration of your individuality, do you do you desire 0:21:22.359 --> 0:21:25.400 to leave your mom's bed? 0:21:28.280 --> 0:21:33.199 It's this good situation I would say, no, dude, Like 0:21:34.000 --> 0:21:38.080 I love my mom and it's just and I just 0:21:38.080 --> 0:21:41.600 want to, like because because of her condition on whatever, 0:21:41.640 --> 0:21:44.200 I don't even know like what the average life and 0:21:45.160 --> 0:21:47.440 is for somebody of that kind. I just want to 0:21:47.480 --> 0:21:50.439 show her all the love I can and just that 0:21:50.600 --> 0:21:53.600 is one form of my love. Because of our schizophrenia, 0:21:53.640 --> 0:21:58.879 I can't really you know, show her my love. I 0:21:58.880 --> 0:22:00.760 guess through my work and whatever. 0:22:01.440 --> 0:22:07.560 Mm hmmm mm hmm. What about your What about your dad? 0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:08.720 Does he snore? 0:22:12.880 --> 0:22:16.760 Well, I'm actually a pretty deep sleeper, I guess I 0:22:16.800 --> 0:22:20.480 don't do. My mom snores like crazy. I don't know, 0:22:20.480 --> 0:22:22.520 about my dad. I don't think he does because I'm 0:22:22.720 --> 0:22:25.720 crazy deep sleep where like I don't really notice, not 0:22:25.920 --> 0:22:29.040 too much, but I do know when I sometimes my 0:22:29.119 --> 0:22:31.720 mom is taking a nap. She's a crazy snor. 0:22:32.880 --> 0:22:37.960 What's your relationship like with your dad? 0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:44.400 Well, he's kind of like a regular Middle Eastern dad. 0:22:44.400 --> 0:22:48.000 You know, straight a's at school. You know he expects that, 0:22:48.560 --> 0:22:51.760 and you know, just the typical as in that he always, 0:22:52.000 --> 0:22:54.320 you know, goes home to work, as I said, super early, 0:22:54.560 --> 0:22:57.000 comes home late, only has like a couple of hours 0:22:57.000 --> 0:23:00.359 at home, and in that hour, you know, we're just 0:23:01.359 --> 0:23:03.919 talking about school. It's shit, it's not really deep, to 0:23:03.960 --> 0:23:04.399 be honest. 0:23:06.640 --> 0:23:13.680 Hmm. Are you out there trying to to date? It 0:23:13.760 --> 0:23:15.840 sounds like family is important to you. It sounds like 0:23:15.840 --> 0:23:19.440 you want a wife and kids one day. You dating. 0:23:19.560 --> 0:23:24.200 I mean, as that's something I've recently started thinking about, 0:23:24.760 --> 0:23:27.879 I guess, after thinking about myself as an individual. But 0:23:28.720 --> 0:23:31.879 in Pakistan, it's not, that's not an aspect of a culture. 0:23:31.920 --> 0:23:35.480 It's arranged marriage. Like you're not even allowed to date 0:23:35.480 --> 0:23:38.280 in Pakistani culture. You just I guess when you're like 0:23:38.280 --> 0:23:40.760 twenty five or something, you get arranged marriage and that's it. 0:23:42.119 --> 0:23:44.240 Well, now you're now now you're in the land of 0:23:44.280 --> 0:23:48.600 the free baby. Time to make a Tinder account. They're 0:23:48.680 --> 0:23:53.240 actually I actually, genuinely, genuinely I I and I don't know. 0:23:53.280 --> 0:23:56.520 I only know one side of this, but sometimes you'll 0:23:56.520 --> 0:24:00.280 be I I guarantee that if you started in your 0:24:00.320 --> 0:24:03.720 account after about a day, you'll be like, I should 0:24:03.720 --> 0:24:05.040