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Speaker 1: You know what's been on my mind lately, people asking

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Speaker 1: no invite? Where's my invite? Did my invite get lost

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Speaker 1: in the mail? Okay, I guess I'll answer in order

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Speaker 1: no invite, Yes, where's my invite? Does not exist? Did

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Speaker 1: it get lost in the mail. We both know it didn't.

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Speaker 1: We're not sending paper invites out. You didn't get invited,

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Speaker 1: and it might have been an oversight. But I'll tell

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Speaker 1: you what, asking any of those three questions is probably

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Speaker 1: going to mean you're not invited to the next thing.

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Speaker 1: Cuz be chill about it. Have some I want to

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Speaker 1: say dignity and then I kind of want to say decorum,

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Speaker 1: and I feel like both are work fine. But love

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Speaker 1: yourself a little. You didn't get chin up, baby, You

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Speaker 1: didn't get invited. That's okay. You don't have to be everywhere. I,

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Speaker 1: for one, am like I want to be at home.

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Speaker 1: Most times I like being as well, but mostly I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I want to be at home. If you didn't invite me,

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Speaker 1: that's one less thing I have to leave my home

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Speaker 1: to do. But that's just me personally. But if you

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Speaker 1: didn't get an invite, guys, let it rock. Let it rock.

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Speaker 1: Say you hope it was a good time. Maybe you'll

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Speaker 1: get invited to the next one. But like cornering a

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Speaker 1: person who was throwing an event and being like, where's

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Speaker 1: my invite and being confrontational about it, even if you're

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Speaker 1: trying to be cute. See you know that's I think

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Speaker 1: that's not cool. I don't think it's cool, and I

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Speaker 1: have a feeling the host doesn't either. It's a lot

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Speaker 1: of pressure to throw on, throw an event, put on

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Speaker 1: an event, throw on an event, throw on an outfit,

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Speaker 1: put on an event, throw an event, and then have

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Speaker 1: people coming at you like you didn't do this thing

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Speaker 1: for me and why was I not included? There may

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Speaker 1: have been some thought that went into it, even like

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Speaker 1: wedding invitations and being like mad that you weren't invited

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Speaker 1: to someone's wedding. I've never had a wedding, but I

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Speaker 1: imagine it's very hard to decide who to invite to

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Speaker 1: the wedding because it costs money, and some of y'all,

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Speaker 1: I don't want to be buying gifts for the bride

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Speaker 1: and the groom and the groom and the groom and

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Speaker 1: the bride and the bride, and what's that about? Some

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Speaker 1: of you guys aren't playing your way and still want

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Speaker 1: to be invited, so it's very hard to narrow down

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Speaker 1: the list. So I understand, and you got to give

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Speaker 1: people some grace and just be cool. You don't have

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Speaker 1: to be invited to everything. And I did recently say

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Speaker 1: to my friend Heidi, whereas my invite, but only as

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Speaker 1: a bit because she knew I didn't want to be

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Speaker 1: at the thing that I wasn't at and we were

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Speaker 1: both on the same page about that. But yeah, no invite,

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Speaker 1: no invite, question mark, yes, no invite, and it's okay,

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Speaker 1: and the world goes on. So let's be cool about

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Speaker 1: it out there. You don't get invited to something you

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Speaker 1: weren't meant to be there, not this one, maybe the

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Speaker 1: next one, maybe not the next one, but it's all okay.

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Speaker 1: I think that's my piece of advice for everyone today.

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Speaker 1: You didn't ask for it, but someone out there needs

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Speaker 1: this advice, and you can thank me later or you

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Speaker 1: can debate about it in the comments. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: but that's what that's what I think. Anyway. Today, guys,

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Speaker 1: I'm talking to someone I invited to be on the podcast.

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Speaker 1: They said yes, and I'm so happy that they did.

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Speaker 1: Miguel is here and we have an incredible conversation ahead.

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Speaker 1: I'm just so excited to talk to him because I'm

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Speaker 1: a Miguel megafan and you'll see, You'll see because I'm

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Speaker 1: going to be gushing. I'm gonna gush. I'm not going

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Speaker 1: to be able to maintain my cool when I meet Miguel.

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Speaker 1: That's just honest to God truth. So I'm so excited

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Speaker 1: to talk to him.

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Speaker 2: In a little bit.

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Speaker 1: You've inspired me. Before you got here, I was like,

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Speaker 1: what will I talk about at the top of the episode,

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Speaker 1: and I was like, the honestly, the thing is top

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Speaker 1: of mine right now is how I'm tweaking because of

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Speaker 1: the coffee I have, and I want to talk about

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Speaker 1: how it's drugs, drugs, but we're always putting drugs in

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Speaker 1: our bodies right, which reminds me one of your songs.

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Speaker 1: Do you like drugs? Yes? Of course?

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Speaker 2: Do you I love drugs?

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Speaker 1: Would you say, is it fair to say that the

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Speaker 1: DARE program didn't work for you?

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Speaker 2: It didn't work, but I did good in the course.

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Speaker 1: You did okay, But you're like, no, I'm gonna try

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Speaker 1: these Druggs and I'm about to do this ship, favorite drugs.

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Speaker 2: Favorite drug I'm a shrooms. I mean I like everything. Yeah, no,

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Speaker 2: I like everything. There's a time and place for everything

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Speaker 2: for me.

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Speaker 1: What a good time? Michel? Did you bring drugs? Don't

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Speaker 1: tell right now? Okay, come on streets. That's the only

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Speaker 1: reference I know.

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Speaker 2: I've never had. If you have any please let me, Okay.

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Speaker 1: Reach out. We have a hot line people can call,

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Speaker 1: by the way, it's a real number. Call call and

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Speaker 1: leave a message and say you've got some colutes from

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Speaker 1: a go. Okay, my next guest, My next guest, because

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Speaker 1: it's rolling. My guest is a multi platinum award winning

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Speaker 1: artist whose album is out right now, newest album, Cows Cowse.

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Speaker 1: You like how I said that?

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Speaker 2: I love it?

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Speaker 1: Okay? Did I a good job?

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Speaker 2: Perfectly?

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Speaker 1: Because it's means chaos?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Anyway, y' all, Miguel is here.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm so happy you're here.

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Speaker 2: Thanks for having me. I'm happy to be here. I'm

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Speaker 2: so happy to meet you. Finally.

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Speaker 1: Wait, I'm really happy to be a.

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Speaker 2: Fan like I am a massive fan.

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Speaker 1: Thank you we girl. So I have to tell you

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Speaker 1: I am a huge fan of yours, and not in

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Speaker 1: the way people say that's like polite. I'm so happy

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Speaker 1: when you said yes to doing this podcast. You have

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Speaker 1: to know I was over the moon because I have

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Speaker 1: to tell you this, and I brag about this all

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Speaker 1: the time, so now to get to tell you. I

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Speaker 1: like to feel like I discovered you. He's like, I

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Speaker 1: feel like I'm the A and R. So shout out

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Speaker 1: to whoever did Let's go. I like to feel like

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Speaker 1: I'm the A and R who discovered you my space. Wow,

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna say the year is two thousand and seven,

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Speaker 1: early two thousand and seven, okay, maybe two thousand and

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Speaker 1: eight my space. You are the song on my MySpace

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Speaker 1: sure thing? Yes, okay, yeah, the og shorre thing that

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Speaker 1: you probably like recorded with your own coin.

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Speaker 2: Yeah all right, exactly in my bedroom.

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Speaker 1: Right that is on my MySpace. You send me a

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Speaker 1: message that says thanks for the support. Yeah, I flipped out. Okay,

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Speaker 1: so also I have spread. I was, like Miguel said,

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Speaker 1: thanks for the support, because I don't I feel like

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Speaker 1: I discovered your music on my space. So I didn't

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Speaker 1: really discover Miguel. Guys, I'm not that cocky, but you're incredible.

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Speaker 1: But I think I discovered the music or found it

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Speaker 1: for myself on MySpace. I was like, this is the

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Speaker 1: sound of my dreams, your voice, the production on that.

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Speaker 1: You did that in your bedroom. You did the beat.

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Speaker 2: No no, that's happy Perez Okay, habby Perez, like long

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Speaker 2: longtime family, you know, through music, Okay, and incredibly successful

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Speaker 2: in his own on his own, and before meeting him,

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Speaker 2: he was already successful more on the independent hip hop side.

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Speaker 2: He was behind a lot of the No Limit stuff.

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Speaker 2: But he's from I'm Texas.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I might get this wrong, Okay, that's all right.

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Speaker 2: He might have been back and forth to New Orleans,

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Speaker 2: so he might be New Orleans and then by way

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Speaker 2: of New Orleans went to Texas. But when I met him,

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Speaker 2: it was more of it. He was like Texas and

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Speaker 2: he was that's where he was from.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, he.

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Speaker 2: Was kind of like making his way to Los Angeles

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Speaker 2: and really starting to branch out. And we met through

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Speaker 2: Baby Bash.

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Speaker 1: Baby Bash. I don't know Baby Bas the artist. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: oh my gosh, okay, yeah, that's Baby Bash is a

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Speaker 1: friend due man. Oh.

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Speaker 2: Yes, he's known me since I was like seventeen eighteen.

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Speaker 2: But we met through, you know, just on the grind. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: and I met Happy Happy gave me a BEATCD and

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Speaker 2: I made that song.

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Speaker 1: And incredible made it to Space. It's like the equivalent

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Speaker 1: of being on the top eight on my Space.

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Speaker 2: Yeah that was yeah, that was prestige, right, that.

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Speaker 1: Was a big deal. Somebody's top eight, Like I'm in

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Speaker 1: the inner circle, Like fuck close friends, Yeah, the top

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Speaker 1: eight there's no close friends is unlimited. But my Space

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Speaker 1: would have to make you be like, who are your people?

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Speaker 1: For real? Eight? And that's it?

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Speaker 2: And that song. But when they when they when they

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Speaker 2: rolled that out, it was like you could have a

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Speaker 2: song on your page are And it was.

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Speaker 1: A perfect sound, short thing, the original. So even when

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Speaker 1: I hear the version we all know and love now,

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Speaker 1: I'm like, but I heard the original, sure thing, and

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Speaker 1: then I got that message. I mean, so my friend

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Speaker 1: and I in college used to like kind of debate

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Speaker 1: playfully about who we thought was going to be a

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Speaker 1: megastar or not. And I was right about you is

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Speaker 1: basically what I want to say. We would go back

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Speaker 1: and forth. I won't say his name because I didn't

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Speaker 1: want any he and he was rich too, I should

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Speaker 1: bet real money. He was rich. I went to USC

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Speaker 1: rich like, and I should have bet money that is

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Speaker 1: a regret of mine, so we should have put some mistakes.

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Speaker 1: I actually hit him up today. So there was an

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Speaker 1: artist who I won't say because we don't want to

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Speaker 1: bash anybody, okay, And and then there was you, and

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Speaker 1: I was in the Miguel corner and he was like,

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Speaker 1: I think this person's going to be the mega star.

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Speaker 1: And I was like, you don't know what you're talking about,

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Speaker 1: this man right here, let's go anyway that Strawberry Amazing.

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Speaker 1: I remember being in Chicago visiting my sister listening to

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Speaker 1: Strawberry Amazing. Quickie. I thought you were from Portugal at

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Speaker 1: one point because you speak Portuguese on there. What is that?

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Speaker 1: Can you say with you? I'm like, a real fast

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Speaker 1: we're not even talking about the podcast right now. Getting

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Speaker 1: to fair Girl, you spell Portuguese on that track. Can

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Speaker 1: you remind me what you said?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, cattle fugi, which is like I want to flee.

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Speaker 2: But see I had I had a very sarcastic Brazilian

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Speaker 2: friend and she was I was like, Yo, how do

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Speaker 2: I say I'm trying to fuck? She's like, she was like,

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Speaker 2: cattle fuji and she knew. I just said. I was like,

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Speaker 2: that's how I said. I said, I'm like checking in.

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Speaker 2: She's like, yeah, just like that.

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Speaker 1: And that's not really what it means. It's like getting

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Speaker 1: one of those tattoos where people would get them in

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Speaker 1: the Chinese and it's like.

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Speaker 2: That and it says like my dog peace on me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's not what I mean. I thought this meant

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Speaker 1: in this two shop, but in many ways it could.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it worked out. It worked out.

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Speaker 1: It did work out on the track because you spoke

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Speaker 1: in Portuguese and you said you have baby. That was Portuguese,

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Speaker 1: and I said, yeah it is. I don't know what

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Speaker 1: he said Portuguese. It's not I want to fuck, but

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Speaker 1: it is Portuguese.

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Speaker 2: And it worked in the in the context of the

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Speaker 2: song where it's like let's get out of.

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Speaker 1: Here comes So you know, anyway you've your career has

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Speaker 1: been incredible. It's been fun to watch and I am

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Speaker 1: happy to be an early adopter.

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Speaker 2: Miguel No, it was really like my Space was a

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Speaker 2: big part of the journey in because when I did

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Speaker 2: get sign and the song came out, everyone who supported

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Speaker 2: on MySpace was really like, c yeah, we did that.

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Speaker 1: That's what it felt like. It was really like. But also,

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Speaker 1: you are an incredible talent, like that voice of yours

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Speaker 1: and what you're capable of. When did you know that

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Speaker 1: you had it for real?

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Speaker 2: I mean when you're a kid and you're just the

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Speaker 2: greatest thing about being a kid and people like believing

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Speaker 2: in you, it's like you just go with it. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And I got lucky and I had enough people around

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Speaker 2: me that were like, you can you know, and and

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Speaker 2: so I never believe anything else. It was more of it.

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Speaker 2: I was like, this is what I'm here to do,

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Speaker 2: and this is what I'm going to do. And I

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Speaker 2: didn't realize what the odds were, you know, it was

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Speaker 2: there was no sense of I have no connection, no,

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Speaker 2: no one in my family is connected to the industry

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Speaker 2: or then it was much. It was different. You know,

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Speaker 2: it's very different in our generation to be discovered, so

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Speaker 2: to speak. Just it required a whole other, a whole

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Speaker 2: other kind of uh connection and network what have you?

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Speaker 2: And I just believed it. Yeah, I was delirious. I'm sorry,

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Speaker 2: I was delusional.

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Speaker 1: Delirious. Now we're both a littleious. Delirious, Yeah, but you

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Speaker 1: were delusional in that way, and I feel like you

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Speaker 1: have to be in order to achieve the success that

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Speaker 1: you have or to do one of these unconventional sort

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Speaker 1: of career paths. It requires that in a way that

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Speaker 1: is undeniable because when you do start to think about

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Speaker 1: the odds, if you do start to think about the odds,

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Speaker 1: it's kind of evident that it's so unlikely that you

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Speaker 1: will achieve your goals. That's that's what most people would

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Speaker 1: tell you. But if you're like, I'm not thinking about that,

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Speaker 1: or I am aware of it, but I think it's

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Speaker 1: gonna work out for me, because that's kind of how

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Speaker 1: I felt. I was like, it'll work, It's gonna work,

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Speaker 1: that's it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's as simple and complicated and challenging as that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, did you strategize in any kind of way

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Speaker 1: that felt unique to you? Or like, how did you strategize?

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Speaker 2: Not strategize? I really had a weird, just unshakeable knowing

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Speaker 2: and like a faith.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and.

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Speaker 2: I knew that somehow, whatever happened in any decision I

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Speaker 2: would it would lead to something else that got me

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Speaker 2: closer to where I wanted to go. Yeah, And so

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Speaker 2: I just trusted in that, and inevitably, you know, it did.

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Speaker 1: Right, it really did. It did?

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Speaker 2: Was it like that for you too, or was it

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Speaker 2: a strategy, and I feel like I'm.

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Speaker 1: Like a strategist a little bit. I mean, I don't

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Speaker 1: know if so much. Now I feel like I did

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Speaker 1: have what you are describing, that delusion that was like

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Speaker 1: it's gonna work out. So I the reason I went.

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Speaker 1: I went to college in La. So I went to La.

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Speaker 1: My whole plan was I just got to get to La.

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Speaker 1: I'm from Baltimore, so I was like, I just need

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Speaker 1: to get to La where the TV happened. Yeah, it's

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Speaker 1: so crazy and first generation Nigerian and my family is like,

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Speaker 1: you're going to be a doctor, that's what we know,

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Speaker 1: and like, yes, because it's prestigious if you will, but

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Speaker 1: it's also because it's a stable career, like you're always

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Speaker 1: going to need doctors and people, and that is a

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Speaker 1: career where you will always be able to get a.

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Speaker 2: Job and anywhere in the world.

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Speaker 1: Anywhere in the world right, people are going to need doctors.

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Speaker 1: But I was like, I will study biology, be pre

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Speaker 1: med and I just to get to La to see

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Speaker 1: the lay of the land and be like and then

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Speaker 1: I'm going to figure out how to get to do

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Speaker 1: this acting thing that I really want to do.

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Speaker 2: You're distracting them. You're like, cool, I'm gonna go a promise.

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Speaker 2: It's like it's biology.

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Speaker 1: Website, by the way, and there I like people talk

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Speaker 1: about how I have a biology degree. I'm like, I

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Speaker 1: do have a biology degree, but I need you to

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Speaker 1: understand my grades weren't good. Like, let's talk about the

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Speaker 1: grade they gave me, the degree, the grades.

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Speaker 2: The data you might produce may not be completely reliable. Correct.

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Speaker 1: Don't ask me a question. Don't ask me to do

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Speaker 1: CPR on you because and I'm I'm CPR certified. But

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Speaker 1: if you asked me to do CPR on you, I

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Speaker 1: hope you have a will in place, because it's not gonna.

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Speaker 2: It's easy to forget that CPR stuff though it's crazy.

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Speaker 1: It's really easy if you forget the minute you walk

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Speaker 1: out of the class.

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Speaker 2: You ever like, yeah, like push here and like with

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Speaker 2: this kind of like pressure, and you're like if it

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Speaker 2: was to happen, yes, and you're like panicking, exactly, it

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Speaker 2: could really go bad. Yeah, I don't know that.

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Speaker 1: To recall every and like push this way, and if

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Speaker 1: it's a baby, do it this way, and if it's

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Speaker 1: an adult, do it this way. I'm like, I'm too

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Speaker 1: I'm too scared to.

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Speaker 2: Do all that.

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Speaker 1: But I got out to l A and I was like,

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Speaker 1: my strategy is to get there and then I'll get

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Speaker 1: to see what this industry is even sort of made up.

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Speaker 1: So I even interned at a talent agency, like a

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Speaker 1: now defunct talent agency. But I was like, maybe I

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Speaker 1: can learn the business side and figure out what is

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Speaker 1: effective or what doesn't work for people Like I was.

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Speaker 2: Just came, your parents are college.

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Speaker 1: One only one parent? I mean, I guess I have

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Speaker 1: two ones dead. This is the premise, is all.

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Speaker 2: Well a parent and you know, yeah everyone.

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Speaker 1: Has do you think this is for everyone has a dad?

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Speaker 1: But not everyone has a father?

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Speaker 2: That's the right way of saying, that's okay.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, So but my mom was incredible and is like,

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Speaker 1: is so shout out to my mom? Yes, and your

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Speaker 1: mom shout out to all the moms. I know this

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Speaker 1: is called thanks dad, But can we shout out to

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Speaker 1: the moms to specifically?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because what they do is incredible and sometimes their mom.

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Speaker 2: And dad in a lot of times and a lot.

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Speaker 1: Of times they're that, and so we do want to

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Speaker 1: shout them. We do want to shout them up. Okay,

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Speaker 1: Michael can ask who you want to say thanks to?

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Speaker 1: Who are what you want to say thanks to? Oh,

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Speaker 1: could be anyone today?

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Speaker 2: Sure, yeah, today I want to say thanks to DiAngelo.

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Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, I want to say thanks as well.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm still kind of it's it's still it's real

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Speaker 2: hard to imagine that these days, I think it's important

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Speaker 2: to remind myself that I have an opportunity to wake

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Speaker 2: up and be my own hero. But there are musicians

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Speaker 2: that really just will always be my heroes and and

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Speaker 2: di'angelo is one of those ones that I never I

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Speaker 2: never thought in a million years we would lose this soon.

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Speaker 2: You know. It was someone that I I look forward

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Speaker 2: to with so much hope and faith in terms of

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Speaker 2: like what music could be and should be and how

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Speaker 2: it could sound and feel. I just imagine that we

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Speaker 2: would get more. And yeah, so I want to say

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Speaker 2: thank you for the music that we did get, because

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Speaker 2: the world won't sound the same without him.

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Speaker 1: I think that is an accurate and beautiful way to

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Speaker 1: put it. His music and his artistry just otherworldly, really

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Speaker 1: really really otherworldly. One of my favorite songs of if

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Speaker 1: people ask me I say one song, I say Salt

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Speaker 1: Shaker by the Ying Yang Twins. But then my actual, really,

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Speaker 1: my actual real favorite song is nothing even matters Laard

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Speaker 1: Hill of D'Angelo just a beautiful song that every time

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Speaker 1: I listen to feels different to me or means something

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Speaker 1: different to me. And his voice on that track, the

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Speaker 1: everything about that track is like perfection to me. And

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Speaker 1: then also send it on, so I spent a lot

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Speaker 1: of time listening to send it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, but nothing even matters as one of those ones.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm very small nothing even it's just like a man. Also,

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Speaker 2: the timing of that is crazy. The two of them

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Speaker 2: on that song is like just I think the thing

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Speaker 2: that we forget about with music is that it's the

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Speaker 2: timing of the music that makes it even more special. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: but but the timing of his music, you know, in

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Speaker 2: terms of what him and the and a collective of

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Speaker 2: the collective of sol Aquarians and just that that time,

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Speaker 2: I think, I just well, it's just one of those

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Speaker 2: very special times.

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Speaker 1: I always want to say thanks to I'm I mean,

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Speaker 1: that was a remarkable time. And even that album Miseducation

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Speaker 1: of Lauren Hill, she gave us that one perfect, flawless

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Speaker 1: body of work that has now just transcended time and

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Speaker 1: like has remained relevant. I think I saw. I mean,

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Speaker 1: I did see years ago that it was put into

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Speaker 1: the Library of Congress, and I was like, rightfully, so

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Speaker 1: that is correct. Some things are correct and that is one.

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Speaker 1: And I'm like that album is perfection top to bottom.

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Speaker 1: The kids on the interlude talking about what's live, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: the children are the babes are wise? I know, well,

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Speaker 1: you know, here's my tough thing about interlude is because

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Speaker 1: when an interlude is actually musical and say it's not

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Speaker 1: talking or it's not a voicemail, I'm like, I always

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Speaker 1: end up wanting the interlude to be a longer song.

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Speaker 1: I feel like on albums, interludes end up being maybe

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Speaker 1: some like among my top three favorite tracks on any

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Speaker 1: given album, that interlude, Why would you give us that little?

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Speaker 1: And then I'm like, I want artists to then release

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Speaker 1: a whole track of that, like on a bonus album

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Speaker 1: or something like, I want to hear the whole. I

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Speaker 1: have a I have a playlist on Spotify that is

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00:20:07,119 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 1: songs that should have been longer. They are all songs

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Speaker 1: that are like two minutes long or shorter.

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Speaker 2: I feel like, as artists, we should just do albums

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Speaker 2: of interludes. Oh that's what.

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Speaker 1: I absolutely a banger if I could be a producer

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Speaker 1: on one of yours. And by producer just mean I

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Speaker 1: mean sit in a studio session. I genuinely I'm like,

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Speaker 1: there's so many interludes, and I'm like, they need to

415
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Speaker 1: be longer, made a full playlist. It's like, now that's

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Speaker 1: the only way I've been able to make peace. And

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Speaker 1: I posted the playlist once and I was like, this

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00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:36,719
Speaker 1: is how I've made peace with the fact that these

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00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:39,320
Speaker 1: tracks are so short. Combine them all into one playlist

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Speaker 1: that feels Satisfyingly, I want you to make an album

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Speaker 1: of interludes. If I have get to do one request.

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00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,280
Speaker 2: I might actually you might have to an r this project.

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Speaker 1: Like I'm down and I really want somebody to put

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Speaker 1: me on an album. This isn't me pitching. I just

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Speaker 1: want to like talk shit on an album. It doesn't

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Speaker 1: need to be yours.

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Speaker 2: I actually would love to have. Here's there's a point

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Speaker 2: in this and making this album, Kyles that we're putting out.

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Speaker 2: I was I was thinking of who I could call

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Speaker 2: just to like for different things to talk through, and

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Speaker 2: of course the album kind of evolved and it felt

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Speaker 2: like it was more of an introspective kind of thing.

433
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:16,480
Speaker 2: And yeah, but it's always like I've never done that. Yeah,

434
00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 2: and I would that would be so.

435
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,080
Speaker 1: Dope, just a little like d Ray got to be

436
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,000
Speaker 1: on Kanye. I mean, I wish I could be an

437
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: album or like, uh, you remember the DJ tags like

438
00:21:27,600 --> 00:21:31,320
Speaker 1: rash smooth, oh boy DJ in the world. Yeah, I'm like,

439
00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,040
Speaker 1: I want to be that voice just one time. It's

440
00:21:33,040 --> 00:21:34,640
Speaker 1: on my It's on my bucket list.

441
00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:37,080
Speaker 2: Any of the DJ drama early drive and oh.

442
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,240
Speaker 1: My goodness, so good. So this album free, So.

443
00:21:40,280 --> 00:21:42,120
Speaker 2: We got a spot for you on the next Yeah,

444
00:21:42,240 --> 00:21:42,840
Speaker 2: the next one.

445
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,639
Speaker 1: Thank you, Miguel. I'm gonna I'm gonna make you proud.

446
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:46,440
Speaker 2: You gotta do that.

447
00:21:46,480 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 1: Thank you proud.

448
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:48,880
Speaker 2: As long as you make everyone laugh, it's good.

449
00:21:48,880 --> 00:21:51,080
Speaker 1: Okay, okay, easy. Yeah. Can you see how when you

450
00:21:51,119 --> 00:21:53,600
Speaker 1: went to you saying nothing even matters, I sat back.

451
00:21:53,720 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 2: Yeah.

452
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 1: I didn't try to take Lauren Hill's part on because

453
00:21:56,320 --> 00:21:57,600
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not gonna be able to do that,

454
00:21:57,600 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 1: so I'm letting you. I was tempted, and then I

455
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:01,480
Speaker 1: remember this is a podcast.

456
00:22:01,520 --> 00:22:07,880
Speaker 2: Do the same thing out the way, just run it.

457
00:22:05,720 --> 00:22:08,719
Speaker 1: And I just know what my skills are, and in

458
00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,040
Speaker 1: the face of a real singer, I'm not gonna even

459
00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:11,920
Speaker 1: pretend we're gonna do it.

460
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:13,960
Speaker 2: I feel like you could actually sing though.

461
00:22:14,119 --> 00:22:17,320
Speaker 1: You know what, I think I probably my vocal coach

462
00:22:17,359 --> 00:22:19,439
Speaker 1: says I can. But I'm like, and I did do

463
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,960
Speaker 1: it with Dion Warwick once, so I want to be

464
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:25,439
Speaker 1: very clear. Yes, on SNL it was really beautiful and

465
00:22:25,440 --> 00:22:28,400
Speaker 1: and kind of emotional. Frankly I missed that, but it was.

466
00:22:28,960 --> 00:22:32,480
Speaker 1: It was really special. What the world needs now is love,

467
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,000
Speaker 1: sweet let and see I'm talking it now.

468
00:22:34,200 --> 00:22:39,280
Speaker 2: We're not warmed up, but people don't know how important

469
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:40,199
Speaker 2: it is to warm up though.

470
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:43,560
Speaker 1: If there's a whole thing. My vocal coach, who's like

471
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:46,160
Speaker 1: a legend, I haven't seen her in a little while,

472
00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:48,520
Speaker 1: so she's probably like, please keep my name r Yeah,

473
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,760
Speaker 1: that's I'm not your coach, girl, I'm not your coach.

474
00:22:50,800 --> 00:22:53,160
Speaker 1: Don't put don't put that on my name. But because

475
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:55,679
Speaker 1: she would probably also tell me I'm speaking incorrectly right now,

476
00:22:56,560 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 1: she's like, yeah, but.

477
00:22:58,960 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 2: You here, do you think.

478
00:22:59,800 --> 00:23:02,199
Speaker 1: I'm speaking incorrectly? Honest to god, if you were my

479
00:23:02,280 --> 00:23:03,520
Speaker 1: vocal coach right now.

480
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:07,639
Speaker 2: I'm hearing a little nasal. I'm hearing a little nasal,

481
00:23:08,760 --> 00:23:09,560
Speaker 2: or maybe from.

482
00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:12,520
Speaker 1: Your breast, I asked, So I appreciate the honesty. I'm

483
00:23:12,520 --> 00:23:15,560
Speaker 1: getting read right now. I don't know she really tried

484
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,159
Speaker 1: to help me. Okay, tell me.

485
00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:20,920
Speaker 2: It makes a difference, though. What do you do to

486
00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:26,640
Speaker 2: warm up? Yes, mostly rope work, like jump rope really,

487
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:30,479
Speaker 2: because the muscle memory of using your diaphragm to breathe

488
00:23:31,280 --> 00:23:36,879
Speaker 2: will take the thinking out of of like projecting and control. Okay,

489
00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,000
Speaker 2: so once you're kind of in that, in that mode,

490
00:23:39,119 --> 00:23:42,439
Speaker 2: you're you'll sing from your diaphragm more naturally. Okay, but

491
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,440
Speaker 2: I also do like natural, like the boring ones like.

492
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 1: Okay, yes, do you what does she? Goodness? Sometimes you

493
00:23:53,040 --> 00:23:56,840
Speaker 1: can cuss. I cussed so much. Functionhit motherfucker, god, damn

494
00:23:56,960 --> 00:24:00,160
Speaker 1: all of it. Everything you need is available to you,

495
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:02,080
Speaker 1: just pick from the bin. In fact, if you don't

496
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,760
Speaker 1: cuss on this episode, I'm gonna feel some kind of

497
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:09,440
Speaker 1: way Okay, cool, Okay, yeah, wonderful. Right, that's one. Okay,

498
00:24:09,800 --> 00:24:12,400
Speaker 1: we do fine at the end, all right, Yeah, there's

499
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 1: a cussing. There's a cussing bin over the dollars hundreds

500
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:19,800
Speaker 1: bills for everyone, So I just made a hundred appreciate you.

501
00:24:20,520 --> 00:24:21,920
Speaker 1: And by the way, I don't tell people the terms

502
00:24:21,960 --> 00:24:24,440
Speaker 1: and conditions till after they cuss. I encourage them to cuss,

503
00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:26,080
Speaker 1: and then I'm like, that's what I pay for that.

504
00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:28,480
Speaker 2: That's what It's a scheme, I say.

505
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:32,639
Speaker 1: Exactly, little little scheme, scheme, plot, plot. Okay, I need

506
00:24:32,680 --> 00:24:34,879
Speaker 1: to hear about this album, but I also need to

507
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:39,840
Speaker 1: hear about you have a child now, which is so exciting. Congratulations,

508
00:24:39,880 --> 00:24:40,840
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you.

509
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:42,160
Speaker 2: Why I need.

510
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:43,800
Speaker 1: Coffee okay, because you were up all night.

511
00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:47,040
Speaker 2: I mean, you know what, he did really good out here.

512
00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:51,480
Speaker 2: He's here in the city with me, and these blackout

513
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:56,600
Speaker 2: curtains are going hard crazy. I'm like, man, twelve, he slept.

514
00:24:56,840 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 2: He slept for like nine hours the other.

515
00:24:58,760 --> 00:24:59,760
Speaker 1: Night game change.

516
00:25:00,600 --> 00:25:02,640
Speaker 2: We have black out curtains though, so I'm like looking

517
00:25:02,680 --> 00:25:05,160
Speaker 2: behind the whose like what is it?

518
00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:08,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't think like that. So you think, I mean,

519
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:11,119
Speaker 1: so he's a good sleeper when the setting is correct

520
00:25:11,119 --> 00:25:11,480
Speaker 1: for him.

521
00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:15,960
Speaker 2: Apparently, Yeah, he's been going. He's like he's thirteen months now. Okay,

522
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 2: so he's getting and he kind of like he had

523
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,439
Speaker 2: he got his teeth like really fast. I think, like

524
00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:28,440
Speaker 2: abnormally fast. Okay, but now his his like canines are

525
00:25:28,440 --> 00:25:30,960
Speaker 2: coming in, so that's kind of messing with this sleep.

526
00:25:31,119 --> 00:25:31,479
Speaker 1: Okay.

527
00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 2: But maybe we had like a first wave of like

528
00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,199
Speaker 2: a lot of pain and now he's just this is

529
00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:36,959
Speaker 2: the most boring thing.

530
00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:38,960
Speaker 1: No, I'm here for it because this is we talk

531
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:42,320
Speaker 1: about parenthood. No kids, right, no kids that I know of?

532
00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:42,800
Speaker 2: Okay?

533
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:44,800
Speaker 1: Is that crazy that women don't get to say that.

534
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:46,639
Speaker 1: Women don't ever get to say, like, no kids that

535
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:48,800
Speaker 1: I know of. Men get to say no kids that

536
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:51,360
Speaker 1: I know of, but no kids that I know of? Yes, okay,

537
00:25:51,440 --> 00:25:55,359
Speaker 1: all right, noted, nothing has come up.

538
00:25:55,600 --> 00:25:58,240
Speaker 2: Nobody's popped up out of like, no, you're my mother,

539
00:25:58,359 --> 00:26:00,160
Speaker 2: you owe me, you owe me.

540
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,600
Speaker 1: And that's why I'm doing the collection bucket over there, just.

541
00:26:02,600 --> 00:26:05,080
Speaker 2: The case insurance is important and just the.

542
00:26:05,080 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 1: Case some some child comes out of the woodwork talking

543
00:26:07,600 --> 00:26:10,040
Speaker 1: about your mom. I understand that, and that would be

544
00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:14,080
Speaker 1: but no, I have no kids, and just to contribute,

545
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:17,600
Speaker 1: please thank you say something now, yes, yeah, yeah, oh

546
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:20,080
Speaker 1: that was a couple of art. Thank you, But did

547
00:26:20,160 --> 00:26:21,800
Speaker 1: you answer you wanted to be a parent.

548
00:26:22,160 --> 00:26:24,840
Speaker 2: I always wanted to be a father. I knew I

549
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:26,239
Speaker 2: wanted to be a father. I had to I had

550
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:30,679
Speaker 2: to really dope dad, have an amazing dad, and he

551
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 2: just was Yeah, I just always wanted to be a dad.

552
00:26:35,119 --> 00:26:37,680
Speaker 1: Yeah. What made your dad so dope?

553
00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,080
Speaker 2: I think his his sense of humor, and also he

554
00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:45,680
Speaker 2: was he was always really supportive anything anything. He always

555
00:26:45,680 --> 00:26:49,720
Speaker 2: said I could do anything, We could do anything. And

556
00:26:49,720 --> 00:26:55,080
Speaker 2: and he was he was encouraging and kind of like

557
00:26:55,640 --> 00:26:59,480
Speaker 2: would push but just enough, you know, he knew how to.

558
00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 2: He knew how to really like he was kind of like,

559
00:27:02,359 --> 00:27:05,159
Speaker 2: hold you to your to your what you want to do.

560
00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:06,639
Speaker 2: You say you want to do it, all right, well

561
00:27:06,680 --> 00:27:08,480
Speaker 2: you're going to have to do this, and you push,

562
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:12,600
Speaker 2: but never too much, you know, just enough where and

563
00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:17,040
Speaker 2: he was very understanding and how are you gonna make me?

564
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:21,560
Speaker 1: It's it's beautiful though, That's that is so rare, because

565
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,320
Speaker 1: I wanted to tell you that, it's so rare that

566
00:27:23,560 --> 00:27:26,199
Speaker 1: I get to hear anyone, even in conversation with friends,

567
00:27:26,280 --> 00:27:31,040
Speaker 1: be like my dad was amazing. I think that's so

568
00:27:32,240 --> 00:27:34,359
Speaker 1: I'm having a contrary to that. Yeah, and I'm genuinely

569
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:35,920
Speaker 1: having a moment where I'm like, I need to hear

570
00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,080
Speaker 1: more about this amazing individual, because.

571
00:27:38,680 --> 00:27:39,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I got lucky.

572
00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:42,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you have siblings. I do.

573
00:27:42,800 --> 00:27:45,320
Speaker 2: He's my best friend. His name is Nick Nonchalant Svant.

574
00:27:45,440 --> 00:27:47,800
Speaker 1: Okay, Nonchalance Sant. Is that his Instagram handle?

575
00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:50,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is, actually, but we just call him nonchalant

576
00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:51,520
Speaker 2: because that's really.

577
00:27:52,880 --> 00:27:56,320
Speaker 1: Your parents did, not a nonchalant kid in a music

578
00:27:57,280 --> 00:28:00,280
Speaker 1: I'm like, what they did, do a great job. Wait,

579
00:28:00,280 --> 00:28:02,160
Speaker 1: can you tell me a little bit more about them

580
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:03,080
Speaker 1: and their background?

581
00:28:03,119 --> 00:28:06,320
Speaker 2: Your parents, my parents they met in high school. They

582
00:28:06,359 --> 00:28:08,960
Speaker 2: met at Inglewood High. A lot of my family on

583
00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:14,560
Speaker 2: my dad's side still is in Inglewood, but yeah, they

584
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 2: met at Inglewood High. My mom is a beautiful black

585
00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:20,720
Speaker 2: woman from La. My dad's family is from Samorda, Michukhan.

586
00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:24,320
Speaker 2: He came here when he was three, and before he

587
00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:27,920
Speaker 2: came my nine. Now, my grandmother rest in peace, came

588
00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,960
Speaker 2: three years ahead of that, I'm sorry, two years ahead

589
00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 2: of that and kind of like live with her sister,

590
00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:38,360
Speaker 2: worked at the hospital and did other odd jobs to

591
00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:41,280
Speaker 2: basically make enough money to start bringing our family over.

592
00:28:41,920 --> 00:28:44,240
Speaker 2: And I think it was over the course of a

593
00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 2: few years that everyone from my dad's family, because it's

594
00:28:47,960 --> 00:28:51,920
Speaker 2: eight of them total, were in the States and they

595
00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:55,680
Speaker 2: made a life in Inglewood and my parents met in

596
00:28:55,760 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 2: high school, but they weren't really seeing each other until

597
00:28:58,200 --> 00:28:59,040
Speaker 2: after high school.

598
00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:03,040
Speaker 1: And yeah, not a real life meeting, by the way,

599
00:29:03,160 --> 00:29:07,320
Speaker 1: rare also these days. Yeah, like we're high school sweethearts

600
00:29:07,400 --> 00:29:08,800
Speaker 1: kind of even.

601
00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:11,040
Speaker 2: It was like they just knew each other and each

602
00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,000
Speaker 2: other maybe flirtations, but never really hung out until afterwards.

603
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,800
Speaker 1: Okay, that's that's what you unders said. Do you know

604
00:29:16,840 --> 00:29:18,720
Speaker 1: like the did you know the nitty gritty details of

605
00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:20,600
Speaker 1: that and like them getting together?

606
00:29:20,920 --> 00:29:23,840
Speaker 2: Like, no, I don't, but I know I was conceived

607
00:29:23,840 --> 00:29:31,640
Speaker 2: sometime around Valentine's You did the mak good at math.

608
00:29:32,080 --> 00:29:33,200
Speaker 2: We've all done the mask.

609
00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:42,400
Speaker 1: January exactly, June in my case, Yeah, it was June. Summer.

610
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:43,960
Speaker 1: Summer is a good time.

611
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:45,080
Speaker 2: It's a great time.

612
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 1: But your your dad, you say, is an amazing.

613
00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:51,080
Speaker 2: Dad, Pops is incredible.

614
00:29:51,320 --> 00:29:53,640
Speaker 1: Where do you think he got the tools to become

615
00:29:53,760 --> 00:29:55,960
Speaker 1: such an amazing father? Did he have an amazing father?

616
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,680
Speaker 2: I mean, my dad had a very he had a

617
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:02,880
Speaker 2: child ranging time with his father. My thought though, was

618
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:07,680
Speaker 2: a very stern, no games kind of kind of man.

619
00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:13,040
Speaker 2: Also two generations ago. It's a very different culturally. Every

620
00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,719
Speaker 2: culture I think has evolved in you know, just just

621
00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,720
Speaker 2: with the times. And I thought though was a very

622
00:30:19,200 --> 00:30:22,560
Speaker 2: yes stern man. You did it his way and that

623
00:30:22,760 --> 00:30:25,120
Speaker 2: was it. So my dad had a rough time because

624
00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:28,720
Speaker 2: he's also you know, he's I'm like him in this way.

625
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 2: We like our freedom and can be hard headed at times.

626
00:30:35,040 --> 00:30:38,040
Speaker 2: So my dad, but it heads with my grandfather a lot,

627
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:40,040
Speaker 2: and I think there was a lot of contention there,

628
00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 2: and I would attribute his approach with us to the

629
00:30:46,520 --> 00:30:49,240
Speaker 2: things that he wanted to get with his dad.

630
00:30:49,440 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 1: You know. So that's incredible because you either sort of

631
00:30:54,680 --> 00:31:00,320
Speaker 1: become that person who raised you, whether you enjoy waited

632
00:31:00,440 --> 00:31:02,720
Speaker 1: or not, or want that to be the case or not,

633
00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:05,200
Speaker 1: or you I think, do a lot of work to

634
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:08,440
Speaker 1: be like I'm going to be so unlike that if

635
00:31:08,480 --> 00:31:10,960
Speaker 1: I can help it. And it's remarkable that he was

636
00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:12,920
Speaker 1: able to do that and that you love him so

637
00:31:13,000 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 1: much that it warms my heart.

638
00:31:14,720 --> 00:31:17,360
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean the ship, Yeah, my dad's ship, mister

639
00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:18,040
Speaker 2: p He's.

640
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 1: A teacher, okay, he is what grade what subjects.

641
00:31:21,720 --> 00:31:26,080
Speaker 2: He taught all through all grade school and in his

642
00:31:26,720 --> 00:31:29,640
Speaker 2: tenure he's kind of wanted to be more impact. He's

643
00:31:29,680 --> 00:31:33,240
Speaker 2: basically like I would rather be able to like make

644
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:38,040
Speaker 2: an impact earlier early. So's he's like second grade, he's

645
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,920
Speaker 2: been having fun in the second grade and this is

646
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,240
Speaker 2: this is his last year, so he'll he'll retire this year.

647
00:31:43,360 --> 00:31:45,760
Speaker 1: Are you guys gonna throw a party for Yeah?

648
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, he'll throw a party for himself like that.

649
00:31:49,520 --> 00:31:51,640
Speaker 1: He's a good times I wish, mister B. But my

650
00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:52,520
Speaker 1: second grade teacher.

651
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 2: Man, there's so many kids that I've that I've ran

652
00:31:55,240 --> 00:31:58,600
Speaker 2: into after shows and be like, your dad's my favorite teacher,

653
00:31:58,680 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 2: mister P.

654
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:02,360
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, that's got to feel really good.

655
00:32:02,480 --> 00:32:03,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's cool.

656
00:32:03,240 --> 00:32:06,080
Speaker 1: Okay. And what's your approach now with your son in

657
00:32:06,200 --> 00:32:09,400
Speaker 1: terms of parenting? Do you plan to emulate your dad?

658
00:32:09,760 --> 00:32:11,480
Speaker 1: Are there things that you feel like you didn't get

659
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,400
Speaker 1: that you you wish though your dad was amazing, you

660
00:32:14,440 --> 00:32:15,280
Speaker 1: could have gotten more of.

661
00:32:16,160 --> 00:32:20,400
Speaker 2: Man, My my approach, I really don't know. I think

662
00:32:20,840 --> 00:32:24,080
Speaker 2: he's at an age now where I'm learning, I'm learning

663
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:30,160
Speaker 2: him and overall, I would say my approach is to

664
00:32:30,720 --> 00:32:36,080
Speaker 2: remain a student and to remind myself that i'm i'm

665
00:32:36,280 --> 00:32:41,840
Speaker 2: I get to nurture that it's a that i'm you know,

666
00:32:42,080 --> 00:32:44,480
Speaker 2: it's it's a nurturing, you know, and that it's like,

667
00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 2: I want to give him the best that I can,

668
00:32:47,240 --> 00:32:50,880
Speaker 2: but without acting like I have all the answers. Yeah,

669
00:32:49,960 --> 00:32:53,440
Speaker 2: you so so far. That's the that's the plan. We'll

670
00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:56,080
Speaker 2: see what happens. We'll see what happens. Because he's he's

671
00:32:56,080 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 2: already started saying no.

672
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 1: You're like, hold on what you say not you have

673
00:33:00,760 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 1: an opinion. It's not supposed to be like that.

674
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:05,160
Speaker 2: Oh it is crazy when you're like, what you mean no?

675
00:33:05,680 --> 00:33:08,000
Speaker 2: And right now it's no with kind of a question mark.

676
00:33:08,040 --> 00:33:10,800
Speaker 2: He's like no, Like I do I say no here?

677
00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 3: No?

678
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:11,480
Speaker 1: Here?

679
00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 2: So he says no for everything.

680
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:16,200
Speaker 1: Now, uh huh Okay, he's learning boundaries quick. Yeah, he's like, yeah,

681
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 1: I'm gonna practice saying no. People get bad at saying

682
00:33:18,800 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 1: no as we get older. Right, crazy, it's really really wild.

683
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:25,640
Speaker 1: And I think about therapy and how so many people

684
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:28,880
Speaker 1: in therapy and myself included. What you're learning in therapy

685
00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:32,440
Speaker 1: is how to be yourself again and to assert your

686
00:33:32,440 --> 00:33:36,200
Speaker 1: own boundaries and live in a way that is aligned

687
00:33:36,240 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 1: for you. And that's what like so much money spent

688
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:43,880
Speaker 1: in therapy being reminded how to be yourself just.

689
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:46,480
Speaker 2: To get back to square one. Yeah, and that's the

690
00:33:46,720 --> 00:33:50,800
Speaker 2: I think that question. You're like, yeah, like I don't

691
00:33:50,800 --> 00:33:52,760
Speaker 2: want to be the kind of parent I would like

692
00:33:52,800 --> 00:33:54,560
Speaker 2: I would see this is what you're learning therapy.

693
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, let's hear.

694
00:33:55,800 --> 00:33:57,400
Speaker 2: We don't talk about what we don't want to be,

695
00:33:57,600 --> 00:33:59,840
Speaker 2: right and what we do want to Okay, yeah, we're.

696
00:33:59,760 --> 00:34:02,600
Speaker 1: Gonna focus on what we do want to be, all right, Okay, Yeah.

697
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,440
Speaker 2: I want to want to be the kind of parent

698
00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:12,920
Speaker 2: that reaffirms and re like what is that like like

699
00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:20,480
Speaker 2: bolsters whatever the natural like his natural rosters reassures and

700
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:25,680
Speaker 2: also enforces outwarthy on his behalf, his own personality and

701
00:34:25,719 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 2: his like I want to protect whatever the thing is,

702
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:31,839
Speaker 2: like just just be that, you know. I do think

703
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:35,200
Speaker 2: that like a lot of it is is sort of

704
00:34:35,239 --> 00:34:41,279
Speaker 2: trying to like conform a child to to work in

705
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 2: society and like to fit and like, yes, there's a

706
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,120
Speaker 2: there's an educational part of that, but also like I

707
00:34:48,160 --> 00:34:51,160
Speaker 2: want to want to preserve like preserve it.

708
00:34:51,320 --> 00:34:53,640
Speaker 1: That's the way in my mind exactly so when I

709
00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,800
Speaker 1: have a kid, because again, none out there to my knowledge,

710
00:34:57,239 --> 00:34:59,919
Speaker 1: unless somebody rolls up on me. Was like, mom, which

711
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:02,759
Speaker 1: would be I mean, if they were to roll up

712
00:35:02,800 --> 00:35:03,920
Speaker 1: on me and be like mom, I'd be like, well,

713
00:35:03,960 --> 00:35:05,560
Speaker 1: at least I didn't have to do like staying up

714
00:35:05,640 --> 00:35:10,520
Speaker 1: late part. I will take you on. I'm not gonna

715
00:35:10,520 --> 00:35:13,440
Speaker 1: ask any questions how this worked without me being aware,

716
00:35:13,520 --> 00:35:17,799
Speaker 1: But my hope is that I also would foster in

717
00:35:17,920 --> 00:35:22,359
Speaker 1: my child the or just encourage them to be themselves.

718
00:35:22,400 --> 00:35:25,440
Speaker 1: And basically, like what you're saying to that is a

719
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:30,840
Speaker 1: matter of like parenting is shepherding this young person into

720
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:35,040
Speaker 1: who they already kind of are and affirming who they

721
00:35:35,080 --> 00:35:38,920
Speaker 1: are and then offering some guardrails, which, by the way,

722
00:35:39,160 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 1: sounds really lovely in a vacuum until you're like it's

723
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:44,480
Speaker 1: real life and it's a Thursday and you're stressed out

724
00:35:44,520 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 1: and you're tired, and you've had and you've had a

725
00:35:47,239 --> 00:35:50,560
Speaker 1: long day, or you know, like I can everything sounds

726
00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,200
Speaker 1: really lovely in a vacuum, and then you're like in

727
00:35:52,280 --> 00:35:54,280
Speaker 1: real life and you're like, I just need this person

728
00:35:54,280 --> 00:35:55,880
Speaker 1: to do what I say, and then I need them

729
00:35:55,880 --> 00:35:58,839
Speaker 1: to not ask me why, because I was a why kid? Why?

730
00:35:59,120 --> 00:36:00,960
Speaker 1: I was like why, I need to I'll do that

731
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:02,319
Speaker 1: thing you asked me to do, but I just need

732
00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:03,360
Speaker 1: to understand why.

733
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:07,400
Speaker 2: How did that? How did that work? In a Nigerian household.

734
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:09,440
Speaker 1: You know, I think because I was raised by a

735
00:36:09,480 --> 00:36:13,360
Speaker 1: single mom. I think I've said this before on the podcast,

736
00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:15,640
Speaker 1: but I didn't get spanked really as a kid. And

737
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:20,520
Speaker 1: someone was like, I can tell it wasn't a compliment.

738
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, no, wonder yeah and.

739
00:36:23,400 --> 00:36:27,480
Speaker 1: It all makes sense. Uh huh, but my mom.

740
00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:29,080
Speaker 2: I still haven't decided a spanking is or is not

741
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:31,279
Speaker 2: what I'm going to do.

742
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,480
Speaker 1: Okay, this I am curious about this.

743
00:36:33,640 --> 00:36:35,920
Speaker 2: I thought I would be for sure a spanking parent.

744
00:36:36,080 --> 00:36:40,799
Speaker 1: You thought that up until when as long as I thought,

745
00:36:40,800 --> 00:36:42,680
Speaker 1: when did you, like, when did you stop? When did

746
00:36:42,719 --> 00:36:44,560
Speaker 1: you start to be unclear as to whether you would

747
00:36:44,560 --> 00:36:47,759
Speaker 1: be a spanking parent or not? Like the minute he

748
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:49,400
Speaker 1: was in your hands at the hospital?

749
00:36:49,719 --> 00:36:56,960
Speaker 2: Even now I think it's I'm like considering everything, and

750
00:36:57,000 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 2: I'm like, is this the time? Because he's also like

751
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:02,479
Speaker 2: it's not now, But I can see where it's going

752
00:37:02,800 --> 00:37:05,400
Speaker 2: because he's he's already a little shit like he's like

753
00:37:05,960 --> 00:37:11,080
Speaker 2: he's like he'll he'll be like no, no, no, We'll

754
00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:13,760
Speaker 2: be he'll like go to touch something that he shouldn't

755
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:16,319
Speaker 2: and be like no, no, no, and he'll look back

756
00:37:16,360 --> 00:37:19,400
Speaker 2: and he'll go no, no, no, and then he'll like,

757
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:23,600
Speaker 2: he'll like, but if I did, he'll grab something and

758
00:37:23,640 --> 00:37:26,120
Speaker 2: then he'll it won't be him touching it. He'll use

759
00:37:26,160 --> 00:37:27,040
Speaker 2: the thing to touch it.

760
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,439
Speaker 1: He said, I didn't touch it. I didn't touch smart. No,

761
00:37:30,600 --> 00:37:31,400
Speaker 1: he's smart.

762
00:37:31,480 --> 00:37:33,960
Speaker 2: He's thirteen months and he's already like speaking, and I'm like,

763
00:37:34,400 --> 00:37:37,920
Speaker 2: he's yeah, it's crazy. So I'm anticipating that there's going

764
00:37:37,960 --> 00:37:40,120
Speaker 2: to be a moment where it will be a Thursday,

765
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:43,759
Speaker 2: I will have had a long ass day and it's

766
00:37:43,800 --> 00:37:47,520
Speaker 2: going to be he'll be testing, you know, And in

767
00:37:47,560 --> 00:37:51,120
Speaker 2: that moment, I'm like, am I gonna oh the one

768
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:53,880
Speaker 2: thing I'll say? Though, I also pret and this is

769
00:37:53,880 --> 00:37:56,880
Speaker 2: another shout out to my mom. She never spanked us

770
00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:59,080
Speaker 2: angry when she was mad.

771
00:37:59,239 --> 00:38:01,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, she will wait okay, which is.

772
00:38:01,520 --> 00:38:03,319
Speaker 2: Kind of like it's even worse because then you think

773
00:38:03,360 --> 00:38:03,799
Speaker 2: you got off.

774
00:38:03,840 --> 00:38:06,360
Speaker 1: You're like, okay, you forgot about She forgot about it.

775
00:38:06,360 --> 00:38:08,359
Speaker 1: She's in a good mood now. She would wait, I

776
00:38:08,400 --> 00:38:09,360
Speaker 1: owe you a spanking.

777
00:38:11,640 --> 00:38:15,799
Speaker 2: Four five days go by, not days days, Miguel, in

778
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:17,560
Speaker 2: some cases a week or two.

779
00:38:17,800 --> 00:38:22,319
Speaker 1: No, see, that's that is worse, not not fourteen days later.

780
00:38:22,880 --> 00:38:26,279
Speaker 1: Mama comes up to you like, so, so remember.

781
00:38:26,320 --> 00:38:30,960
Speaker 2: Two weeks ago, we need to talk, come meet me

782
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,480
Speaker 2: and you walk into the room and she got the

783
00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:36,839
Speaker 2: belt and she does that, but.

784
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:38,400
Speaker 1: Then she said we need to talk. But then it

785
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 1: was like, it's not a conversation.

786
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:41,640
Speaker 2: You know, she it would be a conversation.

787
00:38:41,840 --> 00:38:44,480
Speaker 1: She was during can you explain paint the whole picture

788
00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:47,160
Speaker 1: that the belt goes, yes, that's a gun.

789
00:38:47,239 --> 00:38:49,479
Speaker 2: Well well, first, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean, but

790
00:38:49,480 --> 00:38:53,759
Speaker 2: but yeah, essentially that's what it's the same kind of

791
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:56,600
Speaker 2: it strikes the same kind of fear. Okay, it really does.

792
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:59,560
Speaker 1: So she would say that you're like the belt. The

793
00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:01,960
Speaker 1: belt would speak. Then she would say.

794
00:39:02,360 --> 00:39:04,319
Speaker 2: Well, okay, if it was one of those times where

795
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:06,040
Speaker 2: it was a wait till and it took some time,

796
00:39:06,600 --> 00:39:09,960
Speaker 2: it wouldn't be the belt first. It would be we

797
00:39:10,000 --> 00:39:13,719
Speaker 2: need to talk. Sit down, okay, I told you this

798
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 2: and this and that what happened, and walk me through.

799
00:39:17,080 --> 00:39:20,640
Speaker 2: She'd want to understand, and then she would walk through.

800
00:39:21,040 --> 00:39:23,879
Speaker 2: I mean, if it needed some like principles, she would

801
00:39:23,920 --> 00:39:26,960
Speaker 2: pull a Bible out and she would go by, now,

802
00:39:27,040 --> 00:39:29,359
Speaker 2: you know, a B and C and the scripture says

803
00:39:29,440 --> 00:39:31,640
Speaker 2: this and that. My mom was you know, she was

804
00:39:32,160 --> 00:39:34,359
Speaker 2: she was not playing when it came to principle and

805
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,920
Speaker 2: where it was coming from. And she was very pragmatic

806
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:39,719
Speaker 2: about it. I mean, she would remind us that we

807
00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:42,080
Speaker 2: would be disciplined without anger. So she like, you know,

808
00:39:42,560 --> 00:39:44,879
Speaker 2: at the time, it really upset me, It really hurt

809
00:39:44,920 --> 00:39:48,280
Speaker 2: my feeling. Is this and that? And and she would

810
00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 2: be like, so you know what you did was wrong? Yes?

811
00:39:54,680 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 2: Why was it wrong? Because and she would make you

812
00:39:57,239 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 2: walk through the whole thing. Then the belt would co.

813
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 1: Oh after to let the less make the lesson stick.

814
00:40:03,600 --> 00:40:06,160
Speaker 2: I lay your ass down. She wouldn't say, asked, okay,

815
00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:07,520
Speaker 2: put that in the bucket.

816
00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm making I am making money today. Okay, So

817
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:16,359
Speaker 1: she would say, lay your ass down, sit down, sit down, okay.

818
00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:17,120
Speaker 2: You know, lay down whatever.

819
00:40:17,360 --> 00:40:17,560
Speaker 1: Down.

820
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:21,000
Speaker 2: How old are you? And by your age.

821
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:24,520
Speaker 1: That's how many Ooh I want to be five so bad.

822
00:40:25,800 --> 00:40:27,040
Speaker 1: I don't want to be older than five.

823
00:40:27,120 --> 00:40:28,480
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, yeah.

824
00:40:28,280 --> 00:40:30,440
Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. Were you ever seventeen?

825
00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,280
Speaker 2: No, because by the time I got to like thirteen,

826
00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:36,560
Speaker 2: I would I just stopped reacting. It was it was

827
00:40:36,680 --> 00:40:40,400
Speaker 2: I think I think it was thirteen when she was like, Okay,

828
00:40:40,520 --> 00:40:42,759
Speaker 2: you're not going to cry it's not going to be

829
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:48,360
Speaker 2: like a thing, and I would he's just clinching. You

830
00:40:48,480 --> 00:40:51,000
Speaker 2: just take it and it hurt. But yeah know, okay,

831
00:40:51,160 --> 00:40:52,200
Speaker 2: you're like trying to be.

832
00:40:52,800 --> 00:40:54,399
Speaker 1: That's and then she was like, okay, well then I'm

833
00:40:54,400 --> 00:40:56,680
Speaker 1: going to stop doing this because it's not Yes, right now,

834
00:40:56,760 --> 00:40:59,040
Speaker 1: this is not having the same impacting.

835
00:40:59,360 --> 00:41:02,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, transitions to taking things away that you really want

836
00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:04,560
Speaker 2: to do and people you want to see and all

837
00:41:04,560 --> 00:41:05,120
Speaker 2: that kind of stuff.

838
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 1: But yeah, I mean what and I feel like you

839
00:41:07,560 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 1: turned out Actually I just said it to it seemed

840
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:11,239
Speaker 1: you feel like it worked for it, you feel like it.

841
00:41:11,440 --> 00:41:15,600
Speaker 2: That's the dilemma because now I'm like, well, I can

842
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,280
Speaker 2: see where this is going, and this is gonna there's

843
00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:22,480
Speaker 2: going to be times where it actually might be justifiable.

844
00:41:23,560 --> 00:41:25,040
Speaker 2: The one thing I will say is that if I

845
00:41:25,080 --> 00:41:28,439
Speaker 2: do decide which I would, I would say it probably will.

846
00:41:28,760 --> 00:41:30,480
Speaker 2: I know that there's going to be some times it's

847
00:41:30,520 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 2: like he's not going to understand anything else but to

848
00:41:33,719 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 2: have a And this is this is me speaking before

849
00:41:37,280 --> 00:41:41,560
Speaker 2: I get there, But I do believe that it's important

850
00:41:42,160 --> 00:41:46,080
Speaker 2: done correctly. I can think back to times when I

851
00:41:46,120 --> 00:41:46,600
Speaker 2: would have just.

852
00:41:46,680 --> 00:41:50,440
Speaker 1: Kept doing what you wanted to do whatever. Yeah, oh yeah,

853
00:41:51,280 --> 00:41:54,560
Speaker 1: that's kind of who I am. Yeah, I'm gonna you

854
00:41:54,600 --> 00:41:57,520
Speaker 1: know the way you described your parents so incredibly principal.

855
00:41:57,719 --> 00:41:59,799
Speaker 1: Mom's pulling out the Bible to be like this says

856
00:41:59,840 --> 00:42:02,040
Speaker 1: this in the Bible. Oh yeah, but then also, you

857
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 1: like drugs, So how's that right to geim?

858
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:07,759
Speaker 2: Right?

859
00:42:08,440 --> 00:42:10,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, what can he say? That's true?

860
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:12,480
Speaker 2: And now I'm thinking about this because my son will

861
00:42:12,520 --> 00:42:13,239
Speaker 2: probably come watch this.

862
00:42:13,520 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 1: He will, but he'll probably be like fifteen, yeah, because

863
00:42:16,560 --> 00:42:18,319
Speaker 1: he's probably not I feel like your son's not going

864
00:42:18,400 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 1: to take much interest in well, it could go be

865
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,719
Speaker 1: the right. Yeah, he takes a ton of interest in

866
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:25,560
Speaker 1: what you do and who dad is, because I think

867
00:42:25,640 --> 00:42:27,080
Speaker 1: Dad is a corel or he's like I want to

868
00:42:27,080 --> 00:42:28,719
Speaker 1: forge my own path and I don't even want to

869
00:42:28,719 --> 00:42:31,920
Speaker 1: be influenced by that. And he watches randomly at fifteen

870
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:35,359
Speaker 1: because someone else is offering him drugs, or like did

871
00:42:35,360 --> 00:42:35,960
Speaker 1: you see your dad?

872
00:42:36,040 --> 00:42:36,439
Speaker 3: Your dad?

873
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:38,120
Speaker 2: Your dad said he likes drugs.

874
00:42:38,120 --> 00:42:38,359
Speaker 3: Whatever.

875
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:40,040
Speaker 2: The one thing I will say is that I didn't

876
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,960
Speaker 2: do drugs until I was I was an adult. And

877
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:45,600
Speaker 2: even my dad, this is the cool shit about my dad.

878
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 2: My dad was like, now, son, if you ever do

879
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:51,680
Speaker 2: decide to do drugs, do them with me. He was like,

880
00:42:52,120 --> 00:42:54,440
Speaker 2: because then you'll be safe and I can make sure

881
00:42:54,480 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 2: you're okay. I'll tell you everything you want to know

882
00:42:56,280 --> 00:42:58,080
Speaker 2: about what it may make you feel and how it

883
00:42:58,120 --> 00:43:00,359
Speaker 2: may make you feel. But at least I'll be able

884
00:43:00,360 --> 00:43:04,040
Speaker 2: to see if anything goes wrong. I'll see you through, right,

885
00:43:04,120 --> 00:43:06,080
Speaker 2: you know, and I got you. You can, you can,

886
00:43:06,120 --> 00:43:08,479
Speaker 2: you can trust your in safe hands. Yeah, of course

887
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:09,120
Speaker 2: I didn't do it.

888
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:12,239
Speaker 1: But so you didn't do it with him at all?

889
00:43:12,760 --> 00:43:12,960
Speaker 2: Hell?

890
00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:14,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, now you have.

891
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:18,080
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, okay, And honestly, I would say it's so

892
00:43:18,160 --> 00:43:21,240
Speaker 2: much more fun to do anything like your drugs, drinking,

893
00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:22,280
Speaker 2: whatever with family.

894
00:43:22,400 --> 00:43:25,360
Speaker 1: As far as parenting is concerned, again, there are so

895
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:29,840
Speaker 1: many things that sound good and idealistic in a vacuum,

896
00:43:29,880 --> 00:43:32,399
Speaker 1: and then like your perfect world and scenario and then

897
00:43:32,440 --> 00:43:35,280
Speaker 1: it's like, okay, real life hits and we're describing that Thursday,

898
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,280
Speaker 1: or your son comes to you at an age you

899
00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:40,520
Speaker 1: may not have expected, asking you to do X, Y

900
00:43:40,719 --> 00:43:43,920
Speaker 1: or Z, and it's like, how do you actually handle that?

901
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 1: I have a lot of grace for parents who have

902
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,000
Speaker 1: maybe not handled some of these moments well, because you

903
00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:50,759
Speaker 1: have to have the tools, yeah, to be able to

904
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:55,280
Speaker 1: be a good parent. How you get your tools very varies,

905
00:43:55,320 --> 00:43:56,479
Speaker 1: but I'm like, it's just when.

906
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,480
Speaker 2: You're giving and some you earn Yeah you know, or

907
00:43:58,600 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 2: you don't.

908
00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:03,000
Speaker 1: Yeah you don't. And everyone is kind of freestyling as

909
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:07,400
Speaker 1: far as parenting is concerned, and most people trying their best.

910
00:44:07,520 --> 00:44:09,880
Speaker 1: I would say, I don't know if everyone is, but

911
00:44:09,960 --> 00:44:12,359
Speaker 1: are trying their best, yeah, I would say yeah, And.

912
00:44:12,320 --> 00:44:15,160
Speaker 2: I just I'd like to imagine that most parents are

913
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:15,799
Speaker 2: trying their best.

914
00:44:15,840 --> 00:44:17,759
Speaker 1: I like that world too. I would like that.

915
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:20,319
Speaker 2: But I actually heard something more recently that was that

916
00:44:20,320 --> 00:44:24,120
Speaker 2: that's like, sometimes it's not that the people that love

917
00:44:24,239 --> 00:44:27,080
Speaker 2: us are trying there. They're not doing their best. They're

918
00:44:27,080 --> 00:44:30,520
Speaker 2: doing what they can, which is just it's like a

919
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:35,400
Speaker 2: very small distinction, but it is different, and sometimes we

920
00:44:35,480 --> 00:44:36,760
Speaker 2: don't know that we can do better.

921
00:44:37,200 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 1: That's real, you know.

922
00:44:38,480 --> 00:44:41,799
Speaker 2: It's like sometimes it takes seeing it or it being Yeah,

923
00:44:41,800 --> 00:44:44,960
Speaker 2: it takes seeing it or experiencing it or being called

924
00:44:45,000 --> 00:44:48,520
Speaker 2: out or I don't know, making a mistake to see

925
00:44:48,560 --> 00:44:50,600
Speaker 2: it to know that you're like, oh, no, I could

926
00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:52,040
Speaker 2: have done it, you know, or it could have been

927
00:44:52,080 --> 00:44:57,160
Speaker 2: done better. Because we all learn differently, But but I

928
00:44:57,160 --> 00:44:59,439
Speaker 2: didn't mean it's just a thought. It's just a thought.

929
00:44:59,520 --> 00:45:02,400
Speaker 1: What would as a child, for you be most effective

930
00:45:02,520 --> 00:45:06,359
Speaker 1: in making you self reflect or change your behavior having

931
00:45:06,360 --> 00:45:09,520
Speaker 1: your parents say I'm disappointed in you, or I'm really

932
00:45:09,560 --> 00:45:10,120
Speaker 1: mad at you.

933
00:45:10,640 --> 00:45:15,040
Speaker 2: Oh disappointment. Oh when when your parents is I'm so disappointed?

934
00:45:15,200 --> 00:45:18,000
Speaker 1: Yeah, what is it about that? Though? Because I've heard

935
00:45:18,000 --> 00:45:20,120
Speaker 1: that answer before, But I'm like, what is it about

936
00:45:20,400 --> 00:45:25,520
Speaker 1: you're disappointed in me? That is so effective and impactful.

937
00:45:25,120 --> 00:45:27,759
Speaker 2: Because it insinuates that they thought differently of you and

938
00:45:27,800 --> 00:45:32,840
Speaker 2: that maybe they now see you differently. Right, It just

939
00:45:32,920 --> 00:45:35,919
Speaker 2: kind of is it's kind of like, man, I thought

940
00:45:36,000 --> 00:45:38,640
Speaker 2: you were better than that. It's like feels like that.

941
00:45:38,560 --> 00:45:43,320
Speaker 1: You're like, oh, okay, I haven't ever gotten that clarity

942
00:45:43,320 --> 00:45:46,520
Speaker 1: from someone that's yeah, I could see that because I

943
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:49,880
Speaker 1: imagine I feel like the number of times I've heard

944
00:45:51,000 --> 00:45:53,239
Speaker 1: people send texts to people their dating and be like

945
00:45:53,280 --> 00:45:55,920
Speaker 1: I thought you were a different person than that, and

946
00:45:55,960 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 1: how that's like you'll get a paragraph and that part

947
00:45:59,040 --> 00:46:01,040
Speaker 1: of the paragraph being the one thing that really like

948
00:46:01,719 --> 00:46:03,920
Speaker 1: that hits, that hits it's like, you're not who I

949
00:46:04,000 --> 00:46:04,680
Speaker 1: thought you were.

950
00:46:06,960 --> 00:46:10,600
Speaker 2: I thought you were, but see when you're like, I'm

951
00:46:10,600 --> 00:46:12,640
Speaker 2: not the person you thought I was. I'm trying to

952
00:46:12,640 --> 00:46:13,040
Speaker 2: tell you.

953
00:46:14,920 --> 00:46:17,680
Speaker 1: And it's like you wanted me to be something I'm not.

954
00:46:17,800 --> 00:46:19,480
Speaker 1: And that is a very different conversation.

955
00:46:19,880 --> 00:46:21,440
Speaker 2: Yes, oh yeah, that's a different one.

956
00:46:21,560 --> 00:46:23,440
Speaker 1: That's a different kind of conversation.

957
00:46:23,520 --> 00:46:25,000
Speaker 2: Hopefully you don't get to that point with anyone.

958
00:46:25,000 --> 00:46:30,520
Speaker 1: You shouldn't. Let's know, hopefully there's no conflict, unhealthy conflict

959
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:32,839
Speaker 1: in any of your relationships. That's what I'd like to

960
00:46:33,080 --> 00:46:36,560
Speaker 1: hope for for everyone. Because this is an idealistic podcast,

961
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:40,359
Speaker 1: we're just saying our wishes for society and ourselves. That's

962
00:46:40,440 --> 00:46:43,040
Speaker 1: always you were here today. Do you have a favorite

963
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:43,800
Speaker 1: track on the album?

964
00:46:44,360 --> 00:46:47,480
Speaker 2: Favorite track on the album? I think the soul of

965
00:46:47,520 --> 00:46:51,279
Speaker 2: the album. You can hear it and yeah, that's the

966
00:46:51,560 --> 00:46:54,000
Speaker 2: I think that is the song that holds the album together.

967
00:46:55,120 --> 00:46:58,120
Speaker 2: And that's a song about It's like a self reflection

968
00:46:58,640 --> 00:47:02,399
Speaker 2: also kind of train of thought, kind of song that

969
00:47:02,480 --> 00:47:10,600
Speaker 2: goes from like an introspective like, wow, let me think

970
00:47:10,600 --> 00:47:12,520
Speaker 2: of all the things I had to sacrifice to get here,

971
00:47:12,760 --> 00:47:15,879
Speaker 2: and yet I'm so proud of who I am and

972
00:47:15,880 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 2: what I am. All of that wrap into one, you know.

973
00:47:20,239 --> 00:47:23,200
Speaker 2: It's kind of like wow, like it's it's a it's

974
00:47:23,200 --> 00:47:26,160
Speaker 2: a looking back, it's a looking at now, it's a

975
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:30,000
Speaker 2: looking forward In that it I think resolves in a

976
00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,120
Speaker 2: I've been through a lot, but I'm my soul is

977
00:47:34,160 --> 00:47:34,840
Speaker 2: still standing.

978
00:47:35,120 --> 00:47:38,640
Speaker 1: Yeah that's beautiful. Yeah, do you I've been. I was

979
00:47:38,719 --> 00:47:43,080
Speaker 1: listening to the album today and hearing how much Spanish

980
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:46,160
Speaker 1: is spoken on the album is really really cool because

981
00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 1: again the first track where I heard you speaking at

982
00:47:48,400 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 1: foreign language it was Portuguese. Yeah, Portugal, He's Brazilian. I

983
00:47:54,200 --> 00:47:58,480
Speaker 1: don't know. It's so cool to hear you speaking Spanish

984
00:47:58,520 --> 00:48:01,840
Speaker 1: in that way. Was that something you you were wanting

985
00:48:01,880 --> 00:48:03,879
Speaker 1: to do on this album or you know, how did

986
00:48:03,880 --> 00:48:05,680
Speaker 1: the album come together in that regard? Is it like

987
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:07,840
Speaker 1: these are tracks where I feel inclined to be speaking

988
00:48:07,880 --> 00:48:10,240
Speaker 1: Spanish or I want to make sure I'm speaking Spanish

989
00:48:10,239 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 1: in this on this album? How did how did that

990
00:48:12,320 --> 00:48:13,040
Speaker 1: come together for you?

991
00:48:13,200 --> 00:48:18,360
Speaker 2: That's I mean, the what happens. What happened for me

992
00:48:18,560 --> 00:48:21,440
Speaker 2: was in these last eight years a lot of like

993
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:24,759
Speaker 2: trying to figure figure out if I wanted to do

994
00:48:24,800 --> 00:48:27,000
Speaker 2: this anymore, like on a professional level, if.

995
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:31,680
Speaker 1: I got that sense as a fan, we need I

996
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:34,680
Speaker 1: needed you over the last few years. I needed you,

997
00:48:35,160 --> 00:48:37,040
Speaker 1: but I needed yourself too.

998
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:40,200
Speaker 2: But I needed to It's not that I stopped creating,

999
00:48:40,520 --> 00:48:42,880
Speaker 2: is that it's everything else that comes with creating and

1000
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:49,840
Speaker 2: releasing music professionally. It just it becomes, It takes another

1001
00:48:50,239 --> 00:48:55,160
Speaker 2: its own life and its own meaning, and it invites

1002
00:48:55,840 --> 00:49:00,640
Speaker 2: critique in ways that I wasn't sure that I cared

1003
00:49:00,640 --> 00:49:06,319
Speaker 2: to be open to or to hear. Like, you know,

1004
00:49:06,600 --> 00:49:08,680
Speaker 2: I just really wasn't sure that I had the energy

1005
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:12,080
Speaker 2: or the motivation, and I needed to kind of go

1006
00:49:12,200 --> 00:49:15,680
Speaker 2: back and figure that out for myself. And when I

1007
00:49:15,760 --> 00:49:21,960
Speaker 2: found when I found a new motivation, what it did

1008
00:49:22,120 --> 00:49:25,440
Speaker 2: was it it pushed me to get to know myself deeper.

1009
00:49:26,239 --> 00:49:30,960
Speaker 2: And I think that lent itself to a new a

1010
00:49:31,040 --> 00:49:36,240
Speaker 2: reframing of my identity that made speaking Spanish really natural,

1011
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:42,839
Speaker 2: and it made it like with so much pride, you know.

1012
00:49:43,000 --> 00:49:45,800
Speaker 2: And not that it wasn't that it wasn't there before.

1013
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:47,640
Speaker 2: It was that it didn't feel like it needed to

1014
00:49:47,680 --> 00:49:50,279
Speaker 2: be included in the music. It was like, I can

1015
00:49:50,320 --> 00:49:52,040
Speaker 2: be proud of who I am without it having to

1016
00:49:52,080 --> 00:49:54,960
Speaker 2: be a part of my and it wasn't like such

1017
00:49:54,960 --> 00:49:58,000
Speaker 2: a massive part of my creativity or my point of

1018
00:49:58,080 --> 00:50:00,600
Speaker 2: view that it felt like it needed to be in

1019
00:50:00,360 --> 00:50:05,359
Speaker 2: in the work. But I think because where I want

1020
00:50:05,400 --> 00:50:08,160
Speaker 2: to go has so much to do with my audience

1021
00:50:08,239 --> 00:50:11,160
Speaker 2: really getting to know me as a human being and

1022
00:50:11,200 --> 00:50:14,800
Speaker 2: not just my ability. It felt really natural to include

1023
00:50:14,800 --> 00:50:18,439
Speaker 2: and to just to speak in Spanish and to show

1024
00:50:18,440 --> 00:50:22,399
Speaker 2: how I think in Spanish. Yeah, So that's that's where

1025
00:50:22,400 --> 00:50:23,120
Speaker 2: it kind of comes from.

1026
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,719
Speaker 1: It feels like listening to the album feels like, oh,

1027
00:50:25,760 --> 00:50:28,799
Speaker 1: you're getting to know Miguel in a different way or

1028
00:50:28,840 --> 00:50:31,920
Speaker 1: more so, I feel as a listener just having listened

1029
00:50:32,080 --> 00:50:33,719
Speaker 1: at this point just one time, I'm like, oh, I

1030
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:37,360
Speaker 1: feel closer. I'm like, I feel like I as a

1031
00:50:37,400 --> 00:50:40,560
Speaker 1: person who was such an early fan and I didn't

1032
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:42,400
Speaker 1: know who this artist was, but I was like, this

1033
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:45,759
Speaker 1: person is so talented. And then so many people came

1034
00:50:45,800 --> 00:50:48,880
Speaker 1: to know and love you and the music. I mean,

1035
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:52,840
Speaker 1: I still revisit. Do you how many drinks? I'm constantly

1036
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:57,319
Speaker 1: listening you. Yeah, And it feels cool to be like, oh,

1037
00:50:57,360 --> 00:50:59,960
Speaker 1: and this is another part of him we have yet

1038
00:51:00,239 --> 00:51:03,080
Speaker 1: to get to experience as fans of your music. And

1039
00:51:03,120 --> 00:51:04,880
Speaker 1: you said you had to figure out what the motivation

1040
00:51:05,280 --> 00:51:08,080
Speaker 1: was for you to release new music over the last

1041
00:51:08,160 --> 00:51:11,480
Speaker 1: eight years. What was that motivation? Was it for us

1042
00:51:11,520 --> 00:51:14,439
Speaker 1: to get to know you or what would you say

1043
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:14,719
Speaker 1: it was?

1044
00:51:15,200 --> 00:51:17,279
Speaker 2: It was to get to know my audience and then

1045
00:51:17,480 --> 00:51:20,200
Speaker 2: to get to know me more personally, Okay, so that

1046
00:51:20,880 --> 00:51:28,600
Speaker 2: I could build an audience that wanted to know where

1047
00:51:28,640 --> 00:51:31,279
Speaker 2: I was going and how I was growing or what

1048
00:51:31,480 --> 00:51:35,480
Speaker 2: was hurting or what was worth celebrating, as opposed to

1049
00:51:35,520 --> 00:51:41,439
Speaker 2: me trying to satisfy an audience that just wanted this,

1050
00:51:41,640 --> 00:51:46,680
Speaker 2: wanted the song for them, wanted the song that made it.

1051
00:51:47,280 --> 00:51:49,239
Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm saying that in the most

1052
00:51:49,320 --> 00:51:54,359
Speaker 2: concise way, but I wanted my own audience, you know.

1053
00:51:54,560 --> 00:51:59,040
Speaker 2: And I think when you approach what I was doing

1054
00:51:59,120 --> 00:52:02,439
Speaker 2: before was leaning on my ability, and I think people

1055
00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:06,520
Speaker 2: fell in love with my songs, you know, they felt

1056
00:52:06,640 --> 00:52:09,320
Speaker 2: they fell in love with the songs, but it wasn't

1057
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:13,680
Speaker 2: that they like really were like into me. And that

1058
00:52:13,840 --> 00:52:16,839
Speaker 2: for me, is not sustainable. Yeah, it's not because then

1059
00:52:16,880 --> 00:52:19,040
Speaker 2: what happens is like what happens when the song doesn't

1060
00:52:19,160 --> 00:52:22,160
Speaker 2: they don't like the songs, right, yeah, and they don't

1061
00:52:22,239 --> 00:52:26,080
Speaker 2: like the songs. That means that for me, it was

1062
00:52:26,200 --> 00:52:29,520
Speaker 2: it was like it's a slippery slope the song. If

1063
00:52:29,520 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 2: they don't love the song, the song isn't successful. So

1064
00:52:34,160 --> 00:52:36,279
Speaker 2: then I'm not I don't have no purpose with note

1065
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:37,359
Speaker 2: with my with the with.

1066
00:52:37,320 --> 00:52:39,640
Speaker 1: The UTIs, but that particular audience who's here for, Like

1067
00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:45,040
Speaker 1: I'm here for the music this person produces without any

1068
00:52:45,080 --> 00:52:47,719
Speaker 1: consideration for the actual artists. I mean it's like I

1069
00:52:48,160 --> 00:52:50,000
Speaker 1: like the song, I like the production on this song.

1070
00:52:50,200 --> 00:52:52,399
Speaker 1: But you know, even hearing that from you knowing that

1071
00:52:52,480 --> 00:52:56,319
Speaker 1: some songs are you'll hear stories about like this song

1072
00:52:56,520 --> 00:52:58,920
Speaker 1: was written or this beat was produced for this artist

1073
00:52:58,960 --> 00:53:00,880
Speaker 1: and this song these lyrics were handed to them and

1074
00:53:00,920 --> 00:53:04,080
Speaker 1: it's like this was for Rihanna, but so and so

1075
00:53:04,200 --> 00:53:06,759
Speaker 1: ended up doing it instead, Right, those are just that's

1076
00:53:06,800 --> 00:53:09,600
Speaker 1: so it's so interesting how that can work. It's like

1077
00:53:09,640 --> 00:53:13,480
Speaker 1: this song was given to this person and somehow the

1078
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:16,279
Speaker 1: song was for the person, but it's like do we

1079
00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:17,840
Speaker 1: love the person or do we love the song or

1080
00:53:17,880 --> 00:53:20,480
Speaker 1: do the person make the song? It's sometimes hard to

1081
00:53:20,560 --> 00:53:23,200
Speaker 1: discern as a listener. And when you hear those stories.

1082
00:53:23,360 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 2: So there are there are successful recording artists, artist, whatever

1083
00:53:31,960 --> 00:53:34,400
Speaker 2: you want to call them, who are able to do that,

1084
00:53:34,480 --> 00:53:36,719
Speaker 2: and they do it. There's an art in that as well.

1085
00:53:37,360 --> 00:53:39,400
Speaker 2: There's an art in being able to take a song

1086
00:53:39,480 --> 00:53:42,560
Speaker 2: and make it yours. Yeah, I am not good at that.

1087
00:53:42,680 --> 00:53:44,640
Speaker 2: I can't do that. It's not it's not a part

1088
00:53:44,640 --> 00:53:47,520
Speaker 2: of my ability. And it's also not I just don't

1089
00:53:47,640 --> 00:53:50,279
Speaker 2: that's that's not what I wanted to do. This when

1090
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:54,160
Speaker 2: I was my son's age and I just loved music

1091
00:53:54,200 --> 00:53:58,600
Speaker 2: and all through my you know, growing up my adolescents,

1092
00:53:58,719 --> 00:54:03,360
Speaker 2: like the whole the thing was like, I'm making songs

1093
00:54:03,400 --> 00:54:05,160
Speaker 2: and music that I want to make, the things that

1094
00:54:05,200 --> 00:54:07,319
Speaker 2: I'm hearing in my mind, I'm making them and like

1095
00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:11,360
Speaker 2: people love them, you know, and they become theirs. Yeah,

1096
00:54:11,400 --> 00:54:13,560
Speaker 2: And I got to do that. And what I found

1097
00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:20,600
Speaker 2: out was without without when it's just the song you're

1098
00:54:20,680 --> 00:54:25,080
Speaker 2: kind of, it can be anyone. There's sort of another

1099
00:54:25,120 --> 00:54:27,680
Speaker 2: part of that is like I'm a songwriter. Yeah, So

1100
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:30,200
Speaker 2: I can't really blame myself for approaching that way because

1101
00:54:31,120 --> 00:54:32,960
Speaker 2: in the goal of a songwriter, you want a song

1102
00:54:33,000 --> 00:54:35,319
Speaker 2: that could work in any genre. The great song is

1103
00:54:35,320 --> 00:54:39,920
Speaker 2: a great genre song, whether it's sounds like it's a

1104
00:54:40,040 --> 00:54:42,640
Speaker 2: R and B song, or it's a punk song, or

1105
00:54:42,640 --> 00:54:46,520
Speaker 2: if it's great songs is like us finding ourselves and

1106
00:54:46,640 --> 00:54:49,560
Speaker 2: lyrics in the details, finding ourselves in other people's details.

1107
00:54:49,719 --> 00:54:55,000
Speaker 2: That's that's what makes a great scene. Yeah, and great art.

1108
00:54:55,320 --> 00:54:59,719
Speaker 2: So I did that. And if I just wanted to

1109
00:54:59,760 --> 00:55:04,160
Speaker 2: be a songwriter, that be enough, but I don't. I

1110
00:55:04,239 --> 00:55:08,480
Speaker 2: want to live my life being an artist. Being an artist,

1111
00:55:08,560 --> 00:55:12,200
Speaker 2: I think, is about reflecting your experience and taking the

1112
00:55:12,239 --> 00:55:15,439
Speaker 2: emotion and that experience and giving it to people so

1113
00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:20,120
Speaker 2: that we can forget our differences and remember the human

1114
00:55:20,160 --> 00:55:23,680
Speaker 2: experience is an emotional one and that we are not

1115
00:55:23,760 --> 00:55:27,279
Speaker 2: so different. That's why great songs in different languages can

1116
00:55:27,440 --> 00:55:30,440
Speaker 2: touch people around the world from different you know, religious

1117
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:32,680
Speaker 2: beliefs and ethic backgrounds and so on and so forth.

1118
00:55:33,239 --> 00:55:35,640
Speaker 2: Same way, fine art can make you stop and stare

1119
00:55:36,200 --> 00:55:39,799
Speaker 2: and just look at it and create wonder in your

1120
00:55:39,840 --> 00:55:43,280
Speaker 2: mind or pain in a way that makes you forget

1121
00:55:43,520 --> 00:55:47,840
Speaker 2: the differences you have with the artists. Yeah, I wanted

1122
00:55:47,880 --> 00:55:50,600
Speaker 2: to do that. That's what I did. I'm here for

1123
00:55:50,840 --> 00:55:55,279
Speaker 2: you know, And it's sort of at the center of

1124
00:55:55,680 --> 00:55:58,480
Speaker 2: the courus that we designed. We were invited to n

1125
00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:00,759
Speaker 2: Yu to be a scholar and residence year. It was

1126
00:56:00,800 --> 00:56:05,000
Speaker 2: a tremendous, tremendous Yeah, tremendous honor. We did our introductory,

1127
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:08,880
Speaker 2: the introduction to the course yesterday, and it was it

1128
00:56:08,920 --> 00:56:10,840
Speaker 2: was one of those things that made me really proud

1129
00:56:10,920 --> 00:56:13,879
Speaker 2: to say, like I had to discover this the hard

1130
00:56:13,880 --> 00:56:16,799
Speaker 2: way from myself. But to build your own audience that

1131
00:56:16,840 --> 00:56:21,080
Speaker 2: really is in love with your expression and is there

1132
00:56:21,120 --> 00:56:24,120
Speaker 2: for your expression, regardless of what that means and how

1133
00:56:24,160 --> 00:56:27,560
Speaker 2: it proliferates and how what it becomes is the core

1134
00:56:27,600 --> 00:56:31,160
Speaker 2: of of you know, ownership and control of your work

1135
00:56:31,880 --> 00:56:37,160
Speaker 2: and your career. Building that audience. So I had to

1136
00:56:37,160 --> 00:56:39,680
Speaker 2: go away to recalibrate on that.

1137
00:56:40,040 --> 00:56:42,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, I'm so glad you did because the

1138
00:56:42,160 --> 00:56:46,680
Speaker 1: album is absolutely beautiful and it feels so personal. Thanks

1139
00:56:46,760 --> 00:56:48,960
Speaker 1: having listened just the one time, and I'm like, it

1140
00:56:48,960 --> 00:56:51,120
Speaker 1: feels so personal. I feel the heart in it, and

1141
00:56:51,200 --> 00:56:52,960
Speaker 1: I love how true to your artist do you remain?

1142
00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:56,000
Speaker 1: And now this time for this segment called that's nice?

1143
00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:56,680
Speaker 1: But what about me?

1144
00:56:56,840 --> 00:56:57,920
Speaker 2: All right, let's go.

1145
00:56:58,080 --> 00:57:01,360
Speaker 1: I like that I asked you because I need advice,

1146
00:57:01,920 --> 00:57:07,279
Speaker 1: So I but that's parenting parenting me in this moment. Okay,

1147
00:57:07,880 --> 00:57:13,160
Speaker 1: So I am workshopping a one woman's show right now

1148
00:57:13,239 --> 00:57:17,520
Speaker 1: and I'm trying to figure out yes, yes, and so

1149
00:57:18,080 --> 00:57:20,080
Speaker 1: I am trying to figure out And I had a

1150
00:57:20,080 --> 00:57:22,680
Speaker 1: one woman's show called Great Black Women, and then there's

1151
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:25,919
Speaker 1: me And that was in twenty seventeen into eighteen before

1152
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:28,360
Speaker 1: I had was on SNL. So now I'm work shopping

1153
00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:30,920
Speaker 1: this other one woman's show, and I'm trying to figure

1154
00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:36,040
Speaker 1: out exactly how to navigate the creative process now given

1155
00:57:36,080 --> 00:57:39,040
Speaker 1: this whole new experience I had. Knowing that there's an

1156
00:57:39,080 --> 00:57:42,800
Speaker 1: audience out there that wants something specific from me, I

1157
00:57:42,800 --> 00:57:43,600
Speaker 1: think you can relate.

1158
00:57:43,680 --> 00:57:44,240
Speaker 2: I can relate.

1159
00:57:44,760 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 1: And knowing that there's an audience out there that is

1160
00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:50,840
Speaker 1: expecting something they've seen me doing for now several years,

1161
00:57:51,320 --> 00:57:55,480
Speaker 1: how do I bridge the gap between what that expectation

1162
00:57:55,760 --> 00:58:01,320
Speaker 1: is and doing and completely figure buring out what I want? Like,

1163
00:58:01,360 --> 00:58:03,840
Speaker 1: so you had eight years to kind of figure that out.

1164
00:58:04,080 --> 00:58:05,919
Speaker 1: I have a little less time talking in a couple

1165
00:58:05,880 --> 00:58:09,320
Speaker 1: of weeks. Please take less time, Okay, okay, okay, So

1166
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 1: that's the first piece. Okay, Well, thank you, appreciate you.

1167
00:58:12,640 --> 00:58:14,840
Speaker 1: What would you advise I do in the weeks. I

1168
00:58:14,880 --> 00:58:18,480
Speaker 1: have to sort of bridge that gap and figure out

1169
00:58:18,520 --> 00:58:20,480
Speaker 1: what feels right and true for me.

1170
00:58:20,960 --> 00:58:22,560
Speaker 2: If I could do it all over again, Yes, I

1171
00:58:22,560 --> 00:58:25,240
Speaker 2: would give my audience as much context as I possibly

1172
00:58:25,280 --> 00:58:29,480
Speaker 2: could on where I'm going, okay, while I continue to

1173
00:58:29,520 --> 00:58:32,280
Speaker 2: be present for them. See, the big thing that I

1174
00:58:32,320 --> 00:58:34,200
Speaker 2: didn't do that I wish I would have continued to

1175
00:58:34,200 --> 00:58:37,040
Speaker 2: do was to stay present with my audience. I would

1176
00:58:37,120 --> 00:58:42,280
Speaker 2: have in retrospect, I would have kept in much closer communication,

1177
00:58:42,480 --> 00:58:44,880
Speaker 2: whether it's on social media or if it was that

1178
00:58:45,280 --> 00:58:48,880
Speaker 2: I started building out ways to own my audience, whether

1179
00:58:48,920 --> 00:58:51,960
Speaker 2: it's like through your CRM, like direct email, whatever, or

1180
00:58:52,200 --> 00:58:56,439
Speaker 2: if it's through your whatever, social media whatever, finding your

1181
00:58:56,560 --> 00:58:59,840
Speaker 2: direct link to your fans one while educating them on

1182
00:58:59,840 --> 00:59:02,919
Speaker 2: where you're going. I would have done that. I would

1183
00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 2: have started that eight years ago, because come now, they

1184
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:08,840
Speaker 2: would have had so much context of all the inspiration

1185
00:59:09,600 --> 00:59:14,680
Speaker 2: and also an appreciation of being included. So now retroactively,

1186
00:59:14,720 --> 00:59:17,600
Speaker 2: what I'm doing is trying to educate people on well,

1187
00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:20,120
Speaker 2: this album. There's a lot of anger in this album. Man,

1188
00:59:20,160 --> 00:59:23,080
Speaker 2: It's not about romance and love. It's about loss and

1189
00:59:23,120 --> 00:59:26,959
Speaker 2: growth and change. Eight years of prep would have done

1190
00:59:27,120 --> 00:59:30,840
Speaker 2: so much in terms of people paying attention. So if

1191
00:59:30,840 --> 00:59:33,800
Speaker 2: I could do it again, would I would build out

1192
00:59:33,920 --> 00:59:37,000
Speaker 2: ways to own my audience and stand direct communication and

1193
00:59:37,240 --> 00:59:41,440
Speaker 2: educate them in the process however you felt comfortable, but

1194
00:59:41,680 --> 00:59:44,360
Speaker 2: specifically in the ways that they probably are not expecting

1195
00:59:44,640 --> 00:59:47,200
Speaker 2: and just giving them insight on like yeah, I'm really

1196
00:59:47,240 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 2: feeling this, and I know you like this, but like

1197
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:52,200
Speaker 2: have you seen this? Like this is some of my

1198
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:58,000
Speaker 2: favorite shit from this and even the dialogue for them,

1199
00:59:58,400 --> 01:00:01,280
Speaker 2: I think is exciting to introduce things that they're not

1200
01:00:01,360 --> 01:00:04,400
Speaker 2: expecting and then watch them talk about it is some

1201
01:00:04,440 --> 01:00:06,880
Speaker 2: of the coolest shit. Yeah, because you can interject and

1202
01:00:06,920 --> 01:00:10,280
Speaker 2: then and also just observe when you want as you want.

1203
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:12,560
Speaker 2: But it's the fact that you're letting them in on

1204
01:00:12,640 --> 01:00:16,400
Speaker 2: the process that I think makes the result even more impactful.

1205
01:00:16,600 --> 01:00:18,840
Speaker 1: Thank you. I needed to hear that advice. Thank you

1206
01:00:18,920 --> 01:00:22,120
Speaker 1: for that. And because this is a family oriented show,

1207
01:00:22,560 --> 01:00:25,640
Speaker 1: no it's not, but we have someone else who wants

1208
01:00:25,680 --> 01:00:28,520
Speaker 1: advice a listair. This is the last little bit, Kevin.

1209
01:00:28,560 --> 01:00:32,320
Speaker 1: We are ready for you, Kevin my producer. Let's go Diego.

1210
01:00:32,560 --> 01:00:34,560
Speaker 1: This is Anastasia Stagia.

1211
01:00:34,320 --> 01:00:37,040
Speaker 3: And again, I would love to get your advice on

1212
01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:41,080
Speaker 3: a work situation. I'm currently at a point in my

1213
01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:44,680
Speaker 3: career where I've put it in the work. I've reached

1214
01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:45,720
Speaker 3: a certain level that.

1215
01:00:45,720 --> 01:00:47,960
Speaker 1: I've refer too.

1216
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:51,240
Speaker 3: And now I'm at a workplace where I am not

1217
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:56,360
Speaker 3: valued for what I bring to the table, my experience,

1218
01:00:56,520 --> 01:01:02,000
Speaker 3: my knowledge, and I feel a bit stuck. Also, I'm

1219
01:01:02,040 --> 01:01:04,680
Speaker 3: in an industry that I don't have love for anymore.

1220
01:01:05,320 --> 01:01:09,160
Speaker 3: So it would love to get your thoughts on pivoting

1221
01:01:09,600 --> 01:01:10,920
Speaker 3: or what to do at this stage.

1222
01:01:11,280 --> 01:01:14,040
Speaker 1: Thank you and a stage thank you.

1223
01:01:14,880 --> 01:01:16,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a big one, important one.

1224
01:01:16,560 --> 01:01:19,640
Speaker 1: Big one. I'm gonna you have had such wist stage

1225
01:01:19,680 --> 01:01:22,320
Speaker 1: wisdom someone, if you don't mind, would you start?

1226
01:01:22,800 --> 01:01:27,360
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, absolutely finished foremost Yeah, walk up to your boss,

1227
01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:29,400
Speaker 2: but your boss and punch him in the face. I'm

1228
01:01:29,440 --> 01:01:32,720
Speaker 2: just playing. Don't do that. Don't do that. Call him

1229
01:01:32,720 --> 01:01:35,800
Speaker 2: a bitch. I heard a bitch. I don't know. Feel

1230
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:38,000
Speaker 2: if nothing else, you'll feel good about it. You'd be

1231
01:01:38,000 --> 01:01:38,760
Speaker 2: like I've been trying to.

1232
01:01:38,720 --> 01:01:42,680
Speaker 1: Get that off, and you might feel fine after that. Actually,

1233
01:01:42,880 --> 01:01:44,360
Speaker 1: I do love this.

1234
01:01:44,680 --> 01:01:48,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is great, all right. A pivot, I think

1235
01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:53,880
Speaker 2: is like, is exciting, and I think there's a lot

1236
01:01:53,880 --> 01:01:56,880
Speaker 2: to be said about anyone who is considering a pivot,

1237
01:01:57,320 --> 01:01:59,600
Speaker 2: and I think there's nothing more powerful than a pivot

1238
01:01:59,640 --> 01:02:05,600
Speaker 2: when But keep in mind that after the excitement of

1239
01:02:05,680 --> 01:02:09,240
Speaker 2: the pivot and the opportunity, you're going to be met

1240
01:02:09,280 --> 01:02:12,840
Speaker 2: with challenges. Yeah, do not pivot thinking that it's going

1241
01:02:12,920 --> 01:02:15,600
Speaker 2: to be any easier. Yes, it's actually going to probably

1242
01:02:15,640 --> 01:02:18,800
Speaker 2: be harder because you're going to be coming into something

1243
01:02:18,840 --> 01:02:23,880
Speaker 2: that most likely you have interest, hopefully you have real

1244
01:02:23,960 --> 01:02:27,880
Speaker 2: love for, but you're not as far along in and

1245
01:02:28,200 --> 01:02:31,400
Speaker 2: you're gonna need to You're gonna need to really get

1246
01:02:31,440 --> 01:02:36,360
Speaker 2: in the fucking trenches. If you have the drive, the delusion,

1247
01:02:36,520 --> 01:02:40,120
Speaker 2: and the energy to really do that, I say, fucking pivot.

1248
01:02:40,640 --> 01:02:41,480
Speaker 1: I think that's real.

1249
01:02:41,680 --> 01:02:46,720
Speaker 2: But if you are not sure, I would say, really

1250
01:02:46,840 --> 01:02:50,400
Speaker 2: consider looking at what you love and how you want

1251
01:02:50,400 --> 01:02:55,040
Speaker 2: to feel and find out if you can't get that

1252
01:02:55,160 --> 01:02:57,960
Speaker 2: from where you are. If you absolutely cannot get that

1253
01:02:58,000 --> 01:03:01,040
Speaker 2: from where you are, then really look, do you have

1254
01:03:01,160 --> 01:03:04,000
Speaker 2: the energy, do you have the real delusion? Do you

1255
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:06,240
Speaker 2: have the you know what I mean? Do you have

1256
01:03:06,320 --> 01:03:10,000
Speaker 2: that to make the pivot and go from there?

1257
01:03:10,240 --> 01:03:10,479
Speaker 1: Yeah?

1258
01:03:10,560 --> 01:03:10,760
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1259
01:03:10,800 --> 01:03:13,160
Speaker 1: And then the resources, And I forget sometimes because I'm

1260
01:03:13,160 --> 01:03:17,040
Speaker 1: such a dreamer that the resources one might need, like

1261
01:03:17,440 --> 01:03:20,640
Speaker 1: just actual the money, the space, make sure everything to

1262
01:03:20,760 --> 01:03:23,400
Speaker 1: actually be able to pivot. Yeah, making sure you have

1263
01:03:23,480 --> 01:03:25,640
Speaker 1: that in place, But I do believe to your point

1264
01:03:25,960 --> 01:03:28,480
Speaker 1: about really doing an assessment of where you are and

1265
01:03:28,760 --> 01:03:30,919
Speaker 1: how you want to feel, and is that possible where

1266
01:03:30,920 --> 01:03:33,920
Speaker 1: you currently are, because I do strongly believe that no

1267
01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:36,360
Speaker 1: matter where you go, there you are. I didn't make

1268
01:03:36,400 --> 01:03:38,640
Speaker 1: that quote up. Someone else said it, but I fucking

1269
01:03:38,720 --> 01:03:40,720
Speaker 1: love it. No matter where you go, there you are.

1270
01:03:41,120 --> 01:03:43,600
Speaker 1: And I think you have to make peace with where

1271
01:03:43,600 --> 01:03:45,440
Speaker 1: you are right now before you pivot. It is how

1272
01:03:45,440 --> 01:03:48,480
Speaker 1: I feel, because if you're running from something, you're going

1273
01:03:48,560 --> 01:03:51,280
Speaker 1: to find that something at the next thing. So I

1274
01:03:51,320 --> 01:03:53,520
Speaker 1: think it's really important to and I don't like leaving

1275
01:03:53,520 --> 01:03:56,000
Speaker 1: anywhere angry. I mean, like, I hate this place and

1276
01:03:56,040 --> 01:03:57,640
Speaker 1: I want to blow it up. If you can find

1277
01:03:57,640 --> 01:03:59,280
Speaker 1: a way to have gratitude for where you are in

1278
01:03:59,320 --> 01:04:02,120
Speaker 1: that experience as well, I think that's really important so

1279
01:04:02,120 --> 01:04:04,840
Speaker 1: that when you do pivot, we're going in clean slate.

1280
01:04:05,160 --> 01:04:08,840
Speaker 1: The vibes are right, You're right internally, but I think

1281
01:04:08,920 --> 01:04:11,880
Speaker 1: focusing on how you want to feel and then figuring

1282
01:04:11,880 --> 01:04:14,280
Speaker 1: out what those things are that make you feel that

1283
01:04:14,360 --> 01:04:17,240
Speaker 1: way is a good way to approach this.

1284
01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:21,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, such a key to actually like not leave with

1285
01:04:21,560 --> 01:04:24,600
Speaker 2: the energy being off. I feel like that. Yeah, I

1286
01:04:24,680 --> 01:04:29,320
Speaker 2: didn't even but it's major to leave something with a

1287
01:04:29,440 --> 01:04:31,640
Speaker 2: really good like just in a good place.

1288
01:04:31,800 --> 01:04:35,400
Speaker 1: Yeah, I understand what this was for you. Don't even

1289
01:04:35,480 --> 01:04:37,760
Speaker 1: be happy. You don't even have to be so happy

1290
01:04:37,800 --> 01:04:40,560
Speaker 1: about it if you're not happy, but just like understanding

1291
01:04:41,120 --> 01:04:43,800
Speaker 1: some grace in your exit. So we don't want you

1292
01:04:43,840 --> 01:04:47,640
Speaker 1: to punch your boss. Don't want a bit, don't do

1293
01:04:47,800 --> 01:04:51,080
Speaker 1: I mean, but if you do do that, you do,

1294
01:04:52,400 --> 01:04:54,480
Speaker 1: if you do call your boss a bitch, you ob

1295
01:04:54,520 --> 01:04:56,360
Speaker 1: one hundred dollars and you're gonna put it in the cussing,

1296
01:04:56,680 --> 01:04:58,320
Speaker 1: then yeah, that's what's gonna.

1297
01:04:58,080 --> 01:05:01,560
Speaker 2: Happen, affording the the unclaimed children.

1298
01:05:01,400 --> 01:05:05,200
Speaker 1: Exactly that, the unclaimed children. Fun for me, Miguel, thank

1299
01:05:05,240 --> 01:05:07,400
Speaker 1: you so much for being here. A pleasure, a ball

1300
01:05:07,480 --> 01:05:10,000
Speaker 1: with you. I appreciate you. And people listen to the album.

1301
01:05:10,120 --> 01:05:10,640
Speaker 1: It's so good.

1302
01:05:10,720 --> 01:05:13,960
Speaker 2: Get it on vinyl like we have it on vinyl.

1303
01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:17,520
Speaker 1: Do that that's sexy? Yeah, okay, get it on vinyl

1304
01:05:18,200 --> 01:05:22,240
Speaker 1: and drink whiskey with Mescal. Sorry, I know, as soon

1305
01:05:22,240 --> 01:05:24,880
Speaker 1: as that whiskey. Yeah, and she here's the thing about

1306
01:05:24,880 --> 01:05:27,760
Speaker 1: Mescal and me, we don't go together, but to Quilla,

1307
01:05:28,120 --> 01:05:29,520
Speaker 1: yeah we have a fun time.

1308
01:05:29,680 --> 01:05:32,280
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, yes, let's go have some.

1309
01:05:32,640 --> 01:05:36,680
Speaker 1: I'm down, it's early, but let's go tequila coffee.

1310
01:05:36,680 --> 01:05:38,040
Speaker 2: Trust me, it'll balance it out.

1311
01:05:38,080 --> 01:05:43,439
Speaker 1: I think that's okay, all right, thank you, all right, y'all.

1312
01:05:43,560 --> 01:05:45,960
Speaker 1: That was my discussion with Miguel, And honestly, I think

1313
01:05:46,000 --> 01:05:48,439
Speaker 1: the coffee cooled it, and it like it settled into

1314
01:05:48,440 --> 01:05:51,360
Speaker 1: my veins and I stopped being a freak at some

1315
01:05:51,400 --> 01:05:54,080
Speaker 1: point in the conversation. But if I was fidgeting, it

1316
01:05:54,120 --> 01:05:58,120
Speaker 1: was the drugs, the coffee drugs. Anyway, I absolutely love him.

1317
01:05:58,280 --> 01:06:00,360
Speaker 1: How wise is he? I really think you need to

1318
01:06:00,400 --> 01:06:03,040
Speaker 1: go listen to the album Kyles if you haven't already.

1319
01:06:03,360 --> 01:06:08,160
Speaker 1: It's very good. That voice is so buttery. I'm fucking nasal. Apparently,

1320
01:06:08,560 --> 01:06:12,040
Speaker 1: do not comment on my voice. I only asked Miguel's opinion.

1321
01:06:12,080 --> 01:06:15,640
Speaker 1: A professional, my vocal coach and Miguel are allowed to

1322
01:06:15,680 --> 01:06:19,680
Speaker 1: comment on my voice, not you. Okay, this is the voice.

1323
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:22,840
Speaker 1: This is the voice I have, and we're all gonna

1324
01:06:22,880 --> 01:06:25,800
Speaker 1: be okay with it. I probably shouldn't have asked him that,

1325
01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:28,960
Speaker 1: you know, is how do I sound? Because I kind

1326
01:06:28,960 --> 01:06:30,920
Speaker 1: of knew the answer, But he said exactly what I

1327
01:06:31,000 --> 01:06:32,960
Speaker 1: wanted him to say, which was the truth. I hear

1328
01:06:33,000 --> 01:06:35,040
Speaker 1: it too, but I don't want to see your comments

1329
01:06:35,040 --> 01:06:37,320
Speaker 1: about it, because we don't need to be commenting on

1330
01:06:37,320 --> 01:06:39,720
Speaker 1: people's voices unless they ask and invite, and I'm not

1331
01:06:39,760 --> 01:06:41,960
Speaker 1: inviting you speak about where's your invite? You do not

1332
01:06:42,040 --> 01:06:45,560
Speaker 1: have an invitation to speak on my voice. But I

1333
01:06:45,600 --> 01:06:49,320
Speaker 1: love you. Okay. If you want advice from me and

1334
01:06:49,440 --> 01:06:53,120
Speaker 1: my next guest, please call the Thanks Dad hotline. I'm

1335
01:06:53,120 --> 01:06:55,120
Speaker 1: about to look at a piece of paper because well

1336
01:06:55,160 --> 01:06:58,640
Speaker 1: it's actually five zero two Thanks Dads. That's five oh

1337
01:06:58,640 --> 01:07:03,200
Speaker 1: two eight four nine three two three seven. Call leave

1338
01:07:03,240 --> 01:07:05,600
Speaker 1: your request for advice. We will try our best to

1339
01:07:05,720 --> 01:07:11,320
Speaker 1: lead you, possibly astray, but we're gonna lead you somewhere. Okay, Bye, y'all.

1340
01:07:11,320 --> 01:07:14,000
Speaker 1: Thanks stad is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money

1341
01:07:14,000 --> 01:07:17,400
Speaker 1: Players and iHeart Podcasts. I'm your host, Aigo wodem Our

1342
01:07:17,440 --> 01:07:20,960
Speaker 1: producer is Kevin Bartelt, and our executive producer is Matt

1343
01:07:20,960 --> 01:07:21,560
Speaker 1: Appadaka