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Speaker 1: The Nicky Gliser Podcast.

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Speaker 2: Here's Nikki.

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Speaker 3: Hello here, I am welcome to the podcast. This is

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Speaker 3: Nicki Glazer Podcast. Fresh week of shows coming right at

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Speaker 3: you on time, recorded the week of the So you

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Speaker 3: know we've been We've had to bank some the past

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Speaker 3: couple of weeks because I was in Australia and we

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Speaker 3: had other stuff going on. But now they're fresh, they're

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Speaker 3: up to date, you know, within a couple of days.

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Speaker 3: Let's be honest, we.

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Speaker 1: Won't find them the discount bin. Why did you say

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Speaker 1: you won't find them in the discount bin?

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Speaker 2: What does that mean? Because in the discountan is all

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Speaker 2: like the stuff because.

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Speaker 3: Oh yes, a reference to what Julie Glazer likes to eat.

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Speaker 4: Catch phrase too. She's been saying that.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, where have I missed this reference? But yes

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Speaker 3: she did say it. Like Julie Glazer, who is here, says,

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Speaker 3: I know she's not getting the camp.

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Speaker 5: Ben and then we don't want them, Yeah we don't.

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Speaker 3: Then we don't want it. Julie Glazer is here.

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Speaker 5: Hi, mom, thanks for having me.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we're twitting today. We're wearing the same sweatshirt. She

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Speaker 3: came in wearing a sweat shirt that I've got us

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Speaker 3: both for Christmas.

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Speaker 5: She had to hurry up and put hers on.

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Speaker 3: I put mine on as my mom was taking hers off,

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Speaker 3: being like it is hot in here, and I.

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Speaker 5: Go but I'm I'm putting it on a look like

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Speaker 5: I'm hot.

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Speaker 3: And so now she's hot and Brian Franzie's here. I

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Speaker 3: was with Brian all weekend. We were in port Chester,

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Speaker 3: New York on Sunday night, and then we were with

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Speaker 3: you Ben Salem at Parks Casino on Saturday night. Wow,

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Speaker 3: good shows, great crowds, let's besties.

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Speaker 5: We had a good crowd turnout on Sunday night.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, yeah, great, well done. You were in west Chester County,

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Speaker 3: New York during literally during as the Well the Oscar

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Speaker 3: started an hour before you have made the opening monologue

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Speaker 3: and then zip to the theater and seen it.

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Speaker 6: But Ryan Gosling went to the Oscars and then Cam Snicky.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I'm so glad he didn't make a guitar show

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Speaker 3: because I had watch his performance of I'm Just Ken

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Speaker 3: and I want to watch it four and five and six.

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Speaker 3: But I'm trying to like taper it because i want

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Speaker 3: to maximize the joy that it gives me every time,

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Speaker 3: so I'm trying not to overdo it.

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Speaker 1: Would you like about it?

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Speaker 3: What was happening? So good? Okay, first of all, this song,

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Speaker 3: the movie itself was great, but hit Ken's Arc. I

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Speaker 3: haven't even considered, like, there's so many times with a

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Speaker 3: song that I'll just hear it and it's just a

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Speaker 3: song and it's it's it's good. It sounds good, and

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Speaker 3: I like the way it sounds and it makes me

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Speaker 3: feel a certain way, but I don't really know why.

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Speaker 3: And then I'm listening to I'm watching it, you know,

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Speaker 3: at the Oscars, and I've watched it now two or

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Speaker 3: three times, and I'm like, oh, this song's fucking amazing.

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Speaker 3: This is a song about a guy who's overshadowed by Barbie,

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Speaker 3: doesn't feel seen by Barbie, is in a relationship where

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Speaker 3: he's not getting his needs met and he doesn't feel

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Speaker 3: like he has value, and so he inherently thinks he

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Speaker 3: doesn't have value in anywhere. And because the whole world

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Speaker 3: is built his world that he lives in Barbieland is

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Speaker 3: built to make him feel marginalized. So he's this man

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Speaker 3: with low self esteem that's constantly acting like it's not

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Speaker 3: a problem, right, like I'm okay because I watched Barbie

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Speaker 3: again last night, or I started watching it and I

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Speaker 3: kind of saw his struggle, which I already knew about,

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Speaker 3: but I wasn't in tuned with it. Of like, this

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Speaker 3: guy is just putting up with constantly being told that

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Speaker 3: his feelings don't matter and that Oh. He's like, Barbie,

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Speaker 3: you want to hang out tonight, and she's like, I'm

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Speaker 3: having a sleepover with the girls. Then we're gonna have

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Speaker 3: it forever, every night for eternity. And he's just like,

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Speaker 3: of course, well, I don't even want to stay okay, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and then he like kind of SLINKs off dancing, says

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Speaker 3: it's like sad existence. And so the song is a

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Speaker 3: realization of that. The song comes out of the moment

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Speaker 3: where he realizes, like what am I? I'm just Ken?

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Speaker 3: Like she's Barbie and I'm just Ken, and it's like,

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Speaker 3: I'm just Ken anywhere else I'd be a ten. What'll

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Speaker 3: it take for her to, you know, to I'm just Ken?

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Speaker 3: Where she sees love, where I see love, she sees

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Speaker 3: a friend like she's never he's never gonna get seen.

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Speaker 3: And then the song shifts and it becomes by the

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Speaker 3: end of it it turns out to It starts out

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Speaker 3: the sad song of I'm just Ken anywhere else I

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Speaker 3: be a ten, and then it goes to like I'm

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Speaker 3: just Ken, and so and my put that manly hand

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Speaker 3: in mine, and it's like becomes this thing of like

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Speaker 3: we are just Ken, and it's triumphant. So it has

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Speaker 3: this it has this arc a story endo where it's

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Speaker 3: like listening to it the first through, you know, probably

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Speaker 3: twelve times I've heard it because I have it on

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Speaker 3: my on Spotify, I just am like, oh, it's like

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Speaker 3: a song about just being app like mediocre. But there's

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Speaker 3: a turn in it where he is really proud of

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Speaker 3: being Ken. And then this whole group of people are

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Speaker 3: singing and so I'm and then the oscars to have

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Speaker 3: Emma Stone say and so am I. It was just

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Speaker 3: like that we're all ken, you know that, and being

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Speaker 3: Ken isn't so bad, and that you are maybe not

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Speaker 3: as talented or shiny, or as perfect looking or as

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Speaker 3: like get as much attention as Barbie and you never

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Speaker 3: will you live in a.

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Speaker 6: World well I prefer I prefer bono walking around holding

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Speaker 6: up where are my keys?

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Speaker 4: Are my children safe?

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Speaker 3: Don't get me started to make my house, Steve Jobs.

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Speaker 4: That's a better performance. I think it was just.

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Speaker 3: And he's so he he just does this thing where

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Speaker 3: you know, you want him to commit to the character hard,

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Speaker 3: which he absolutely does, but he's also not trying too hard.

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Speaker 3: There's like these the way he walks, he's just like smooth.

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Speaker 3: The way he like he kind of mails in some

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Speaker 3: of the dance moves that looks like he's not trying,

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Speaker 3: but it's like that's a part of his character. Is

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Speaker 3: this guy who's like doing the dance moves but doesn't

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Speaker 3: really care. So like there's just he's just so cool.

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Speaker 3: Ryan Gosling cool and people are like impressed by how

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Speaker 3: good of a dancer and singer he is. Dude, this

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Speaker 3: guy was in the Mickey Mouse Club. That's that's mk ultra.

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Speaker 4: For I haven't heard that for talent.

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Speaker 3: Mk ultra is why that that's well, you heard about

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Speaker 3: mk ultra in the Kennedy Assassination podcast, and that is

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Speaker 3: what the CIA used to mind control people. And that's

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Speaker 3: he went through.

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Speaker 6: Atlanta, I think to develop super soldiers to combat the

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Speaker 6: Russians in the Cold War and they were you know

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Speaker 6: the Bourne series, The Bourne that that's an mk ultra

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Speaker 6: movie born ut.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well the Mickey mouse Club is mk

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Speaker 3: ulting for just talent. Like, if you want someone to

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Speaker 3: till the present, mk ulter them to assassinate if you

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Speaker 3: want if you want someone to perform well the rest

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Speaker 3: of their lives flawlessly, Mickey mouse Club, get them in there.

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Speaker 5: They will good advice.

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Speaker 3: I mean that that's really I mean, that's that book,

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Speaker 3: The Talent Code that we read, Brian, Like, that's what

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Speaker 3: I remember from that. You were the one that recommended

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Speaker 3: that to me. I think like seven years ago.

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Speaker 2: At this point.

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Speaker 4: It was a long time ago.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, seven years maybe, no eight, We're in twenty twenty four, baby,

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Speaker 3: that was twenty sixteen.

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Speaker 6: In the amount of time that I recommended that you

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Speaker 6: could have developed the talent.

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Speaker 3: Honestly, that is not I did. And like playing guitar,

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Speaker 3: like I definitely researched or I like reference the Talent

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Speaker 3: Code in it. It's like you're only gonna get or

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Speaker 3: singing and playing guitar, You're only going to get what

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Speaker 3: you put into it. And the only reason anyone's ever

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Speaker 3: bet better at you than anything is a little bit

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Speaker 3: of it of born talent, Like is an aptitude for something,

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Speaker 3: but it's.

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Speaker 4: Mostly made them.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that ten thousand.

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Speaker 3: It's mostly the hard work and the repetition and being

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Speaker 3: comfortable with sucking and being okay with sucking and making

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Speaker 3: those little improvements, and staying in a zone where you're

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Speaker 3: always working on something that's a little challenging, not too challenging.

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Speaker 3: Don't try to play, you know, something expert level when

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Speaker 3: you're a beginner, because you'll get discouraged real quick. But

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Speaker 3: it should be something that you could do. But it's

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Speaker 3: a little out of reach, and that.

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Speaker 5: Will always keep you, I'll keep you interesting.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but when you The thing that I'll always remember

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Speaker 3: from that book is Beyonce did not come out Beyonce.

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Speaker 3: Beyonce didn't have a childhood. That's why she's Beyonce. We

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Speaker 3: didn't see the hard work. We didn't see all the

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Speaker 3: hours she put in before she came on the scene

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Speaker 3: when she was what sixteen seventeen, but that was sixteen years.

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Speaker 3: Let's take let's take away four years because she probably

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Speaker 3: started when she was four. That's twelve years of intense

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Speaker 3: Jackson five esque really boot camp working, really, you know

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Speaker 3: that for sure? Yeah, she worked her ass off. She

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Speaker 3: was in she was in like dance. She went to

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Speaker 3: like dance schools instead of school singing, like one.

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Speaker 6: Of the examples they gave in the book with Jessica Simpson.

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Speaker 6: Also she was trained from like four years old to

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Speaker 6: become a good singer, and so when she was twelve,

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Speaker 6: she was an amazing singer because she had been singing

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Speaker 6: already for eight years. Yeah, same thing with Beethoven. Like

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Speaker 6: anybody who is like a phenom, a quote unquote prodigy.

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Speaker 4: They started something like that, they just.

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Speaker 6: Think the parents just took a whip and like started

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Speaker 6: and maybe they wanted to do it too. But what

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Speaker 6: kind of four year old they don't like wants to

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Speaker 6: put in that word without the parents.

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Speaker 3: Well they do if it means that it's going to

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Speaker 3: give their parents to love them. And so that's why people.

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Speaker 3: I'm an anyagram three, and that is that's what we're

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Speaker 3: the we're achievers. Now, I'm like a low end achieving three.

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Speaker 3: Like optimal threes are like beyonces okay and Taylor Swift's wait,

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Speaker 3: they go up to what No, it's like it's it's

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Speaker 3: nine different numbers. But if you if you're an any

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Speaker 3: agraam three, you're it's called you're the achiever and you

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Speaker 3: in your core, you feel like you don't have value

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Speaker 3: unless you are a success. And usually that success is

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Speaker 3: determined by what your parents are into. So if you

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Speaker 3: and dad were guitar players, yeah exactly, No, but you

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Speaker 3: dad is So that's not a good example. But if

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Speaker 3: your florists and like your big thing was like Matt, wow,

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Speaker 3: like uh, you know, aggri, what's it called when they

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Speaker 3: do like like landscaping, landscaping is our family's business was landscaping,

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Speaker 3: and you were so amazed by like yard architecture, I

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Speaker 3: would have made I would have probably gotten into that

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Speaker 3: field as a three.

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Speaker 5: OK.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it only applies to yard architecture.

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Speaker 3: You know, whatever your parents are into, whatever your peer

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Speaker 3: group and the people who you're trying to earn their

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Speaker 3: love are into. And that's not to say because you said,

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Speaker 3: I'm not going to love you unless you do this.

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Speaker 3: That's just the disposition I was born with as and

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Speaker 3: possibly I got that signaling, but no intent of theirs.

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Speaker 3: But because I've made this connection before, because Howard Stern

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Speaker 3: talks about how he didn't have his dad, he didn't

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Speaker 3: feel like his dad loved him, so he was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: but my dad loves the guys on the radio, so

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Speaker 3: I'll just become the best of that and he'll have

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Speaker 3: to love me because that's what he is. No, his

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Speaker 3: dad's like, he's still I can't speak for Howard, but

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Speaker 3: I would say his dad still doesn't acknowledge how fucking

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Speaker 3: great he is, even though he's father's His father's still

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Speaker 3: I think he just died.

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Speaker 5: His father's mother still, yes, but his father just died.

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Speaker 3: His dad was around for a while, and I don't

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Speaker 3: think he ever got the validation he wanted. I've got

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Speaker 3: that and I don't need it anymore. I could stop

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Speaker 3: doing this because you yeah, yeah, you guys are well.

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Speaker 3: I but it does make sense because I look back

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Speaker 3: at my life and as a three I'm like and

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Speaker 3: by the way, Aneya Graham is the fucking ship. Taylor's

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Speaker 3: been trying to get me into it forever. I'm so

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Speaker 3: on board now and she's like, yeah, of course, like

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Speaker 3: she was, like, I've been talking about this stuff. She

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Speaker 3: bought me a book for my birthday. I've just cracked

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Speaker 3: it open. It's so interesting because it nails you, dude.

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Speaker 3: We Brian this weekend. Brian's the Challenger. He exploded it. Now.

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Speaker 6: I wasn't nailed when all those there was things that

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Speaker 6: I was like, that's not no.

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Speaker 4: It was kind of because it's not.

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Speaker 3: There's not all stuff that she it's there's gonna be

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Speaker 3: some things that you're like that doesn't resonate.

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Speaker 5: But wow, I'm afraid.

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Speaker 3: Don't be afraid because it really opens up yourself to

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Speaker 3: like it. It makes you feel I like it because

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Speaker 3: it makes me feel less uniquely weird. So the things

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Speaker 3: that make me weird, I'm like, oh, they're written in

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Speaker 3: this book, like everyone who has this number, who has

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Speaker 3: who is a three? Which is sixteen percent of people

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Speaker 3: or something like that, thirteen percent of people something are

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Speaker 3: in the ten percent range. Ten to thirteen percent have this, Okay,

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Speaker 3: and it's not that weird. We all want love in

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Speaker 3: this desperate way, and we all inherently don't really like

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Speaker 3: ourselves that much, and we think that if enough people

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Speaker 3: like us, that'll make us liked, and that it's not

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Speaker 3: that bad of a trait and that it actually makes

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Speaker 3: sense for you. It's not your fault that you're like saying.

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Speaker 5: I'm totally into checking this out.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I mean this weekend when Sonya from the

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Speaker 3: Desperate Housewives DMed me. I screenshoted it to serve to

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Speaker 3: you as like, mom, so you look people you love

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Speaker 3: love me.

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Speaker 5: Wait, you didn't send that to.

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Speaker 3: I know I forgot to send it. But son reached out, Sonya, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I don't. She said she's on tour and she just

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Speaker 3: wanted to reach out. I don't know what the US

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Speaker 3: does that mean? Yes, Sonya, she looks like me.

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Speaker 5: I know, it's like Barbaris streisand's who she looks.

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Speaker 3: Who I think I look like sometimes?

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Speaker 5: Oh maybe you do, just a prominent note.

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Speaker 4: You look like so many people.

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Speaker 6: There was someone at the meet and greet Ben Salem

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Speaker 6: who looked like you, and they were too nervous to

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Speaker 6: say that that was the case.

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Speaker 4: But then you said it.

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Speaker 6: You said you look like me, say every time, and

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Speaker 6: then the husband was like. The husband was like, yes,

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Speaker 6: of course, see I've been saying this guy I started.

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Speaker 5: Because people would they're afraid to say it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but I know they think it. And you don't

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Speaker 3: want to go to a girl like I think I

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Speaker 3: look like you, especially if you think she's like super pretty,

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Speaker 3: and like, I don't want to very if I am

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Speaker 3: not as pretty as her, So I'll just give it

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Speaker 3: to them because I know that they I see it too,

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Speaker 3: and so I have literally not said it once where

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Speaker 3: they haven't gone I told you John like and they've

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Speaker 3: had the couples had a moment, not once.

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Speaker 5: They always have thought obvious.

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Speaker 3: And by the way, girls really like girls who look

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Speaker 3: like them. Like the other night, Anya was freaking out

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Speaker 3: about Jodie Foster or no Sandra Holler from the Anatomy

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Speaker 3: of a Fall. She's like her, and I go, I go,

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Speaker 3: why she looks nothing like you? Because Annya's usually obsessed

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Speaker 3: with women who look like her like you will always

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Speaker 3: notice because it's every every girl, yeah, meg Ran, every

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Speaker 3: girl likes people that look like them everyone. I mean,

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Speaker 3: it's part of my Taylor Swift. If Taylor Swift had

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Speaker 3: black hair or a raven hair, I probably wouldn't. I

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Speaker 3: can't as much there, I would guess I can't imagine that.

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Speaker 3: I hope that's not true, but I think it's part

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Speaker 3: of it. And so when I see the girls that

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Speaker 3: look like me, I'm like, it's part of why you

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Speaker 3: like me because I kind of look like you, and

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Speaker 3: you like yourself. That's a good sign. Yeah, you like

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Speaker 3: people that look like you.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't think there's anything wrong with this.

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Speaker 3: No, I love it. Yeah, Oh do you think you look.

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Speaker 5: Like I don't think I look like anybody I've let.

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Speaker 3: Jody Foster is who you look like? Dude, Jody Foster.

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Speaker 3: But Danya does love her too, and I was like,

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Speaker 3: you don't look like her either, but you look so

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Speaker 3: The other night at the Academy Awards, I was like,

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Speaker 3: there's my mom.

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Speaker 5: Are you kidding?

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Speaker 3: Identical? I thought she looked really cute the other night

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Speaker 3: she's so cute. Yeah, you look like her.

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Speaker 5: But I didn't think she looked cute in the movie.

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Speaker 4: That she was.

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Speaker 3: Well, I don't think she was trying to look cute.

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Speaker 5: No, I get it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I kind of see it. The Oscars triggered Anya,

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Speaker 3: but my people just look too hot. And yesterday we

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Speaker 3: both had a little bit of a dark day because

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Speaker 3: also Matt sent us all the photos from the weekend

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Speaker 3: that he took of us, and like, there's just some

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Speaker 3: hard truths learned about our aging heads.

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Speaker 5: Jeez, it's just hard to see.

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Speaker 3: I know that you're like, you're so young, what are

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Speaker 3: you talking about, But like when you were my age,

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Speaker 3: you were having the same problems we watched home video

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Speaker 3: the other night and you were like, h look at me.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, you are like fifteen different hairstyles. Yeah, and

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Speaker 3: trying some stuff out. I know.

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Speaker 5: Weird.

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Speaker 3: Well, we have lots to talk about on the show today.

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Speaker 3: There was a photo shoot. Last week, there was the oscars.

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Speaker 3: I want to talk more about that. We got triggered.

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Speaker 3: We had shows over the weekend, Noah's wedding. We're going

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Speaker 3: to go brilliant depth on Yes.

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Speaker 4: Before Noah's wedding.

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Speaker 6: So I want to have a question about any agrams

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Speaker 6: because there's nine times of any agreams. There's a thing

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Speaker 6: that I followed called the nine Fears, which is also

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Speaker 6: way break down like character types, and I want to

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Speaker 6: know if it's the same thing just in reverse.

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Speaker 3: Well, there is a thing on anyagram that's like your

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Speaker 3: number one fear as this aneagram, So it's based around fears,

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Speaker 3: Like there's that's a way to learn about yourself. So

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Speaker 3: each anagram does have a base fear.

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Speaker 6: Okay, because I belie because there's anyagram like your it's

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Speaker 6: you're driven by love.

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Speaker 3: Anagram's personality test.

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Speaker 4: You want to be loved, though each one of them.

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Speaker 1: Is I will.

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Speaker 3: I think every person wants to be loved.

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Speaker 4: But that's what the enneagram's breaking it down by No,

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Speaker 4: I have a.

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Speaker 5: Degree of love.

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Speaker 3: I don't think so, I don't. I don't know enough

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Speaker 3: Taylor should be here to answer to that, But I

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Speaker 3: do not think that. That's why what it's breaking it down. Okay,

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Speaker 3: it's based on just your disposition, what you were born

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Speaker 3: with and also nurture, so what your childhood was like

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Speaker 3: and your probably birth order plays into that. Just what

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Speaker 3: you experience as a childhood, your your sensitivity just based

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Speaker 3: on how you came out. So it's it constantly in

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Speaker 3: the margins of this book. It's like, this isn't your parents' fault.

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Speaker 3: It's it's we're not saying this is all your parents fault.

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Speaker 3: They keep reminding like this is just kind of how

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Speaker 3: you are as well, but it is your parents stuff too,

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Speaker 3: So it's like it's both of those things. It's really scientific.

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Speaker 3: It's not astrology, it's anyagram is the shit. Everyone should

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Speaker 3: take a test. Maybe we'll take give the test to you, mom,

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Speaker 3: and then everyone at home can take the test with us,

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Speaker 3: because it's really sure.

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Speaker 5: That would be great.

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Speaker 3: We get back, Okay, when we get back, we'll do

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Speaker 3: aning test and get out your pens and paper because

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Speaker 3: it you'll just you'll just remember two letters. So I

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Speaker 3: think everyone.

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Speaker 6: Can do that.

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Speaker 5: We'll be right back here.

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Speaker 3: Okay, we're back. Here comes the Anya gram test that

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Speaker 3: I sent to my girls chat last week because I

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Speaker 3: wanted everyone to just redo theirs. So and then I

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Speaker 3: gave Brian this test this week. He was an eight.

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Speaker 3: Let's see what everyone else gets. I'll give you the

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Speaker 3: So you just have to let me just say before

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Speaker 3: this this select one paragraph in each of the following

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Speaker 3: two groups. So I'm going to go through two groups

396
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Speaker 3: of paragraphs or three paragraphs per group, and you got

397
00:19:00,800 --> 00:19:03,200
Speaker 3: to figure out which of the paragraphs best reflects your

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00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:05,679
Speaker 3: general attitudes and behaviors as you have been most of

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Speaker 3: your life.

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Speaker 5: Okay.

401
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,480
Speaker 3: You do not have to agree completely with every word

402
00:19:09,560 --> 00:19:12,320
Speaker 3: or statement in the paragraph you select. You may agree

403
00:19:12,320 --> 00:19:15,719
Speaker 3: with only nine eighty to ninety percent of a particular paragraph, okay,

404
00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,880
Speaker 3: and you could still select that paragraph over the other

405
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,480
Speaker 3: two in the group. However, you should agree with the

406
00:19:21,480 --> 00:19:25,040
Speaker 3: general tone and overall philosophy of the paragraph you select.

407
00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,399
Speaker 3: You will probably disagree with some part of each of

408
00:19:27,400 --> 00:19:30,800
Speaker 3: the paragraphs, Okay, do not reject a paragraph because of

409
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:34,440
Speaker 3: a single word or phrase. Again, look at the overall picture.

410
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,359
Speaker 3: Don't overanalyze your choices. Select the paragraph that you have

411
00:19:37,400 --> 00:19:40,360
Speaker 3: a gut feeling about. Okay, all right, so you get

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Speaker 3: it all right. So this is the first group of paragraphs.

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Speaker 3: Three paragraphs. Pick which one. A. I have tended to

414
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Speaker 3: be fairly independent and assertive. I felt that life works

415
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,919
Speaker 3: best when you meet it head on. I set my

416
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Speaker 3: own goals, get involved, and want to make things happen.

417
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Speaker 3: I don't like sitting around. I want to achieve something

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Speaker 3: big and have an impact. I don't necessarily seek confrontations,

419
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Speaker 3: but I don't let people push me around either. Most

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Speaker 3: of the time, I know what I want and I

421
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Speaker 3: go for it. I tend to work hard and to

422
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Speaker 3: play hard. B. I have tended to be quiet, and

423
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:16,640
Speaker 3: I'm used to being on my own. I usually don't

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00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,880
Speaker 3: draw much attention to myself socially, and it's generally unusual

425
00:20:19,880 --> 00:20:22,920
Speaker 3: for me to assert myself all that forcefully. I don't

426
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:26,159
Speaker 3: feel comfortable taking the lead or being as competitive as others.

427
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Speaker 3: Many would probably say that I'm something of a dreamer.

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Speaker 3: A lot of my excitement goes on in my imagination,

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Speaker 3: I can be quite content without feeling I have to

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Speaker 3: be active all the time or see. I have tended

431
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,639
Speaker 3: to be extremely responsible and dedicated. I feel terrible if

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Speaker 3: I don't keep my commitments and do what's expected of me.

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Speaker 3: I want people to know that I'm there for them

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Speaker 3: and that I'll do what is best I believe is

435
00:20:48,200 --> 00:20:51,320
Speaker 3: best for them. I've often made great personal sacrifices for

436
00:20:51,359 --> 00:20:53,679
Speaker 3: the sake of others, whether they know it or not.

437
00:20:54,200 --> 00:20:56,760
Speaker 3: I often don't take adequate care of myself. I do

438
00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:58,679
Speaker 3: the work that needs to be done and relax, and

439
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 3: I do what I really want if there's time left. See,

440
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:04,639
Speaker 3: we got to see on our hands, we got a

441
00:21:04,640 --> 00:21:05,000
Speaker 3: live one.

442
00:21:05,080 --> 00:21:07,359
Speaker 2: Noah, Oh, I'm definitely the b.

443
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:12,720
Speaker 3: Okay, Noah's a B and H. Brian, you're a right

444
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:17,560
Speaker 3: as well? Okay. Group two. Okay, So this is either

445
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:20,240
Speaker 3: X Y or z X. I am a person who

446
00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:23,320
Speaker 3: usually maintains a positive outlook and feels that things will

447
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:26,119
Speaker 3: work out for the best. I can usually find something

448
00:21:26,119 --> 00:21:29,680
Speaker 3: to be enthusiastic about in differing different ways to occupy myself.

449
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,399
Speaker 3: I like being around people and helping others to be happy.

450
00:21:32,720 --> 00:21:35,000
Speaker 3: I enjoy sharing my own well being with them. I

451
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,920
Speaker 3: don't always feel great, but I try not to show

452
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:40,399
Speaker 3: it to anyone. However, staying positive has sometimes meant that

453
00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,960
Speaker 3: I've put off dealing with my own problems for too long.

454
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,399
Speaker 3: Why I am a person who has strong feelings about things.

455
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,960
Speaker 3: Most people can tell when I'm unhappy about something. I

456
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,240
Speaker 3: can be guarded with people, but I'm more sensitive than

457
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,280
Speaker 3: I let on. I want to know where I stand

458
00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:56,320
Speaker 3: with others and who and what I can count on.

459
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,800
Speaker 3: It's pretty clear to most people where they stand with me.

460
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,720
Speaker 3: When I'm upset about something, I want others to respond

461
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,679
Speaker 3: and to get as worked up as I am. I

462
00:22:03,720 --> 00:22:05,560
Speaker 3: know the rules, but I don't want to I don't

463
00:22:05,560 --> 00:22:07,679
Speaker 3: want people telling me what to do. I want to

464
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:12,040
Speaker 3: decide for myself z I tend to be self controlled

465
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:15,560
Speaker 3: and logical. I am uncomfortable dealing with feelings. I am efficient,

466
00:22:15,680 --> 00:22:19,320
Speaker 3: even perfectionistic, and prefer working on my own. When there

467
00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,000
Speaker 3: are problems or personal conflicts, I try not to bring

468
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:25,159
Speaker 3: my feelings into the situation. Some say I'm too cool

469
00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:28,159
Speaker 3: and detached, but I don't want my emotional reactions to

470
00:22:28,200 --> 00:22:31,120
Speaker 3: distract me from what's really important to me. I usually

471
00:22:31,119 --> 00:22:35,359
Speaker 3: don't show my reactions when others get to me. Z.

472
00:22:37,320 --> 00:22:43,480
Speaker 3: All right, so we've got a c Z. Yeah she'z. Oh,

473
00:22:43,600 --> 00:22:50,320
Speaker 3: mom's a one. Oh the reformer, the reformer, rational, principled,

474
00:22:50,600 --> 00:22:54,879
Speaker 3: self controlled. That's what Chris is. A reformer. Uh oh,

475
00:22:54,920 --> 00:22:59,480
Speaker 3: you like things to be right? And just is that true?

476
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:00,000
Speaker 4: True?

477
00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:03,040
Speaker 3: Sure? Charge to my mom and I worked out on

478
00:23:03,080 --> 00:23:08,880
Speaker 3: a reformer today at pilates. Oh yeah, that's what that's about.

479
00:23:09,880 --> 00:23:12,200
Speaker 3: I it was a Z. If you want to know

480
00:23:12,480 --> 00:23:16,440
Speaker 3: if you're playing along, uh and Noah, you were x

481
00:23:16,560 --> 00:23:22,360
Speaker 3: b X b X. You are the peacemaker, receptive, reassuring, complacent.

482
00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:32,000
Speaker 3: That's not nothing. The third one I know, victim, No,

483
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,240
Speaker 3: the peacemaker is Obama is a peacemaker. So it's a

484
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,200
Speaker 3: good thing to there's good there's good people in that one.

485
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 3: And then Brian a y the challenger, self confident, decisive, domineering.

486
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,439
Speaker 3: One of the things that I liked about Brian's this

487
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:53,320
Speaker 3: weekend when we were reading it is that he yeah,

488
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:57,720
Speaker 3: unexpected that. One of it was that sometimes they shout

489
00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:00,720
Speaker 3: to get their point across, but it's not because they're angry.

490
00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:05,160
Speaker 3: That's just they get worked up. And both Anya's husband

491
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:08,280
Speaker 3: Matt and Brian our challengers, and Annya was like, oh

492
00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 3: my god, that's so helpful to hear, because when you

493
00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:13,680
Speaker 3: learn what your partner's thing is, you can learn like hey,

494
00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:16,320
Speaker 3: eights sometimes will shout to get their point across it,

495
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,920
Speaker 3: but they don't. It's not because they're mad. And then

496
00:24:19,000 --> 00:24:21,200
Speaker 3: you can then hear that and go, Okay, maybe I'm

497
00:24:21,200 --> 00:24:23,080
Speaker 3: not going to take offense. Like I know, I shout

498
00:24:23,119 --> 00:24:25,680
Speaker 3: when I'm mad, but eights don't. So maybe when my

499
00:24:25,760 --> 00:24:26,760
Speaker 3: husband shout.

500
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,600
Speaker 4: It on stage, it on stage too.

501
00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:33,000
Speaker 5: It's pretty true.

502
00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,560
Speaker 4: I can't stop myself from shouting.

503
00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 5: Wait a minute, I want to know what a reformer

504
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 5: does again.

505
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:43,680
Speaker 3: Like you, Yeah, okay, So let's go through Nyagram one.

506
00:24:43,800 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 3: Let's go through some of the things.

507
00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:48,840
Speaker 6: So in my world, this is all about the fear,

508
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 6: which is that she's afraid of being evil.

509
00:24:52,920 --> 00:24:54,640
Speaker 5: Oh that's very true.

510
00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:57,480
Speaker 3: Well, you have a core desire. Your core desire is

511
00:24:57,520 --> 00:25:01,240
Speaker 3: to be perfect. You can struggle with you struggle with

512
00:25:01,280 --> 00:25:08,520
Speaker 3: your inner critic. You were very orderly. Shack you your fear.

513
00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:12,920
Speaker 3: Your biggest fear is imperfection. You want to you want

514
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,399
Speaker 3: to be cozy. I don't know if you were organized

515
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:22,400
Speaker 3: cozy like under and you can be control, Yes, cozy, totally.

516
00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:26,679
Speaker 4: Cos thing called Oh yeah.

517
00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:29,280
Speaker 3: There's like a there's like a word for Norwegians.

518
00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:30,520
Speaker 4: Yeah, I forgot it.

519
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:36,800
Speaker 3: You can be controlling to maintain perfection. Let's see, at

520
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:44,840
Speaker 3: your best your ethical, reliable, productive, wise, idealistic, conscientious, honest, orderly,

521
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:50,080
Speaker 3: and self disciplined. At your worst, you can your cunt

522
00:25:50,200 --> 00:26:00,640
Speaker 3: no at your judgmental, inflexible, dogmatic, critical of others, uptight, controlling, anxious, jealous,

523
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:05,880
Speaker 3: fixated on imperfections. Does that all it resonates?

524
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:07,879
Speaker 5: Yeah, kind of close.

525
00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:10,200
Speaker 3: It starts to hurt your feelings a little bit.

526
00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:12,240
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I see some of that.

527
00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:16,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, sure, it's but reading about it, like I

528
00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,160
Speaker 3: have a whole book, I can give you a whole

529
00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:20,439
Speaker 3: chapter on yourself because it's it shows you how to

530
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,240
Speaker 3: like relieve these types of things. A healthy one can

531
00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:27,960
Speaker 3: like what you can do in your life to mitigate

532
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:30,240
Speaker 3: some of those things, because at your best ones have

533
00:26:30,359 --> 00:26:33,760
Speaker 3: all of these things that other numbers don't have that

534
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 3: you can bring to others into the world that you

535
00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:39,679
Speaker 3: might be getting in the way of sharing those like

536
00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,960
Speaker 3: you have special things as you have things as one

537
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,480
Speaker 3: that make you like worse off, but you have things

538
00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:46,160
Speaker 3: that you can bring to the table that no one

539
00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:48,119
Speaker 3: else can, that it's so important.

540
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:52,040
Speaker 6: And can you vacillate between like being good and being

541
00:26:52,080 --> 00:26:53,879
Speaker 6: bad or just like stuff?

542
00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 3: No, I think you can. I think it's like when

543
00:26:55,560 --> 00:26:59,520
Speaker 3: you're in halt, hungry, angry, lonely, tired, that's when you're

544
00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,800
Speaker 3: gonna go to these negative aspects of yourself. I just

545
00:27:01,840 --> 00:27:04,000
Speaker 3: made that up. Halt is a you know, twelve step

546
00:27:04,640 --> 00:27:08,800
Speaker 3: kind of thing. But that's whenever you're like acting out

547
00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:13,880
Speaker 3: or like, never make a decision when you're in halt, hungry, angry, lonely,

548
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:18,720
Speaker 3: or tired, like always ask yourself, stop halt and say

549
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:21,119
Speaker 3: what am I any of these things? Right now? And

550
00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:24,439
Speaker 3: then and then persu hungry, angry, lonely, tired?

551
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:25,280
Speaker 5: TI got it?

552
00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:28,359
Speaker 3: Yeah? That that helps me. But not until after the

553
00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,720
Speaker 3: fact that I go, oh yeah, I was angry. Oh wait,

554
00:27:30,800 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 3: I was all I was at. I was hot, that

555
00:27:35,040 --> 00:27:39,040
Speaker 3: was hatay, I was hungry, angry, and tired.

556
00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 6: So are there certain Enegram types that get along better

557
00:27:42,640 --> 00:27:43,560
Speaker 6: with other types?

558
00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:44,119
Speaker 4: Okay?

559
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:44,400
Speaker 2: Yeah?

560
00:27:44,560 --> 00:27:46,879
Speaker 4: And and like friends and relationships.

561
00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:49,719
Speaker 3: Yeah, like if you go on a YouTube dive, like

562
00:27:49,840 --> 00:27:52,280
Speaker 3: it's for our listeners that took the quiz along with us,

563
00:27:52,680 --> 00:27:55,040
Speaker 3: go like, pull up what your number is? Oh, I

564
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:57,080
Speaker 3: should go through the I'm so sorry I didn't go

565
00:27:57,080 --> 00:27:59,639
Speaker 3: through what everyone was. If you were If you got

566
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:03,040
Speaker 3: A X, you're a seven, the enthusiast. You got a Y,

567
00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:07,760
Speaker 3: you're eight. The challenger. You got AC you're the three.

568
00:28:07,960 --> 00:28:11,480
Speaker 3: You're achiever. If you got B X, you're the peacemaker.

569
00:28:11,720 --> 00:28:13,639
Speaker 3: If you got B Y or sorry, if you've got

570
00:28:13,640 --> 00:28:16,040
Speaker 3: B X, you're nine. The peacemaker. If you got B Y,

571
00:28:16,240 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 3: you're four. The individualist. If you're BZ you got you're

572
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:23,520
Speaker 3: a five. The investigator. If you got C X, you're two.

573
00:28:23,720 --> 00:28:26,920
Speaker 3: The helper. If you got C Y, you're six, the loyalist.

574
00:28:26,960 --> 00:28:29,400
Speaker 3: And if you've got CZ like my mom, you're number one,

575
00:28:29,440 --> 00:28:31,880
Speaker 3: the reformer. So what you go? Just go to YouTube,

576
00:28:32,080 --> 00:28:35,399
Speaker 3: type in enneagram and then your number, and there's tons

577
00:28:35,480 --> 00:28:39,400
Speaker 3: of experts. Some people that are like, you know, what's

578
00:28:39,440 --> 00:28:42,960
Speaker 3: it called armchair therapist? What's yeah, armchair therapists.

579
00:28:43,080 --> 00:28:44,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, artists.

580
00:28:44,480 --> 00:28:47,840
Speaker 3: But a lot of these people like have read enough.

581
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,280
Speaker 3: They might not have a degree, but they've done their research.

582
00:28:50,480 --> 00:28:53,680
Speaker 3: I have to turn everyone onto my new favorite therapist

583
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:56,640
Speaker 3: on YouTube. I'm not kidding you. This girl has cracked

584
00:28:56,680 --> 00:29:00,360
Speaker 3: me wide open, and it's not anyagram. I'm obs sessed

585
00:29:00,400 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 3: with her. And I know I told you all about

586
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:10,400
Speaker 3: Hannah Uri Uri, the girl that does the Euri Hannah

587
00:29:10,800 --> 00:29:13,840
Speaker 3: Uri what you I are. I is the woman who

588
00:29:13,920 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 3: does the restorative yoga for people who've been through trauma.

589
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:18,360
Speaker 3: And I just listen to them. I don't even do them,

590
00:29:18,440 --> 00:29:20,400
Speaker 3: and I should do them, but I listened to them

591
00:29:20,400 --> 00:29:22,719
Speaker 3: and they soothe me and they're they're amazing. Some besties

592
00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 3: wrote to me to ask for the name again, So

593
00:29:25,400 --> 00:29:27,720
Speaker 3: I want to just give a shout out because she is. Truly,

594
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:32,200
Speaker 3: she's a life saver to me. Her videos are just

595
00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,760
Speaker 3: wait name Hannah Uri. I'll send some to you. You

596
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:39,200
Speaker 3: just put the phone next to your head or headphones in, yeah,

597
00:29:39,200 --> 00:29:42,080
Speaker 3: and listen to her tell you what to do yoga style.

598
00:29:42,680 --> 00:29:44,160
Speaker 3: And but the thing is, you don't have to do

599
00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 3: any of it because because the whole thing is because

600
00:29:46,960 --> 00:29:48,960
Speaker 3: it's for trauma suffers, it's for people who've been like

601
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:52,440
Speaker 3: sexually assaulted. It really is like that's it's trauma based yoga.

602
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:55,080
Speaker 3: And so every time she tells you to do something,

603
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 3: she goes. If you want, you don't have to do

604
00:29:57,960 --> 00:29:59,560
Speaker 3: any of this, and I choose to not do any

605
00:29:59,600 --> 00:30:02,840
Speaker 3: of it. She's okay with that because it's like, it's

606
00:30:02,880 --> 00:30:07,239
Speaker 3: only if you want every literally everything you can and

607
00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:10,240
Speaker 3: now move, You're gonna peel your spine up off the

608
00:30:10,280 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 3: mat if that feels comfortable for you to do. And

609
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 3: it's like so nice to hear a class where everything

610
00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,360
Speaker 3: is like, if you don't do this, you fail, like

611
00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:22,840
Speaker 3: everything is optional. Thus you can opt out of the

612
00:30:22,840 --> 00:30:24,280
Speaker 3: whole thing and she still likes you.

613
00:30:24,520 --> 00:30:24,720
Speaker 5: Wow.

614
00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:28,840
Speaker 3: It's really like the most comforting thing for someone who's

615
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,600
Speaker 3: a three or I think a one to listen to

616
00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:34,760
Speaker 3: as someone who's an achiever and a perfectionist. It's just

617
00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:37,080
Speaker 3: so nice. But here's the new girl I'm onto that

618
00:30:37,120 --> 00:30:40,560
Speaker 3: I discovered this weekend. This this bitch has my number,

619
00:30:41,320 --> 00:30:46,040
Speaker 3: and she is she knows everything about me. She she

620
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:49,120
Speaker 3: is just speaking to my soul and making so much sense.

621
00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,200
Speaker 3: And the way she talks she repeats herself enough that

622
00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:56,000
Speaker 3: and says it in different ways, and she talks so clearly.

623
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:58,160
Speaker 3: But it's off the dome. She's not like reading notes,

624
00:30:58,200 --> 00:31:02,200
Speaker 3: she's not boring. She talks dynamically. She's incredible. I can'tnot

625
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:04,280
Speaker 3: wait to tell you about her. Her name is Heidi

626
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 3: Preb p R I E B E Heidi Preb and

627
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:13,760
Speaker 3: she's just amazing. I have not you know, I've listened

628
00:31:13,760 --> 00:31:14,680
Speaker 3: to so many different talks.

629
00:31:14,680 --> 00:31:17,840
Speaker 5: How do you find someone like her? Well, how did

630
00:31:17,880 --> 00:31:18,360
Speaker 5: you fis?

631
00:31:18,400 --> 00:31:18,640
Speaker 1: Dog?

632
00:31:18,720 --> 00:31:21,400
Speaker 3: Was going through it this week, just like, what's wrong

633
00:31:21,440 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 3: with me? What's going on? Why can I commit to things?

634
00:31:24,920 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 3: What am I scared of? I got into the enneagram.

635
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,120
Speaker 3: I'm like looking into myself. I want to, like, you know,

636
00:31:31,360 --> 00:31:33,360
Speaker 3: I want to just figure out what's going on here?

637
00:31:33,400 --> 00:31:37,320
Speaker 3: What are these blocks? And I think I typed in, Oh,

638
00:31:37,400 --> 00:31:39,200
Speaker 3: you know what, I listened to a thing this weekend

639
00:31:39,280 --> 00:31:42,360
Speaker 3: about shame. So there was this really boring guy and

640
00:31:42,400 --> 00:31:44,120
Speaker 3: I wanted to send you the video, Brian, because you

641
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:46,520
Speaker 3: were talking about the topic of shame, and I said,

642
00:31:46,520 --> 00:31:47,920
Speaker 3: oh my god, I have a great video on that

643
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,320
Speaker 3: and this guy I was feeling shame. I just have

644
00:31:51,360 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 3: always known that shames a part of who I am.

645
00:31:54,400 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 3: Like I if I get shamed, it's devastating. If someone

646
00:31:57,400 --> 00:31:59,240
Speaker 3: like tries to make me feel bad about something I

647
00:31:59,280 --> 00:32:01,920
Speaker 3: did it, they might as well punch me in the face,

648
00:32:02,040 --> 00:32:03,560
Speaker 3: Like it's the worst thing you can do to me.

649
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:05,040
Speaker 5: You hate the term shame on you.

650
00:32:05,800 --> 00:32:08,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, I do, because it means like what you just

651
00:32:08,280 --> 00:32:10,360
Speaker 3: did is your fault. That's why I love no free will.

652
00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:13,160
Speaker 3: Nothing's my fault, right, I didn't mean to do that.

653
00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:15,680
Speaker 3: My brain just decided to do that. It's not me.

654
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:18,880
Speaker 3: It's like, you know, I love it not being at

655
00:32:18,920 --> 00:32:21,920
Speaker 3: my because at my core I have toxic shame, which

656
00:32:22,120 --> 00:32:24,240
Speaker 3: Heidi taught me that I have. But before that, I

657
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 3: watched a video about shame by this guy. Let me

658
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:30,240
Speaker 3: find it because I actually sent it to an You

659
00:32:30,360 --> 00:32:32,280
Speaker 3: last night because she was having she was having a

660
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:34,959
Speaker 3: dark knight of the soul, as she called it, and

661
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:39,640
Speaker 3: I said, you you should check out this guy's video. Well,

662
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:41,240
Speaker 3: now I can't find it, but I'll find it in

663
00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:46,520
Speaker 3: a second. He he had this video about overcoming shame

664
00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:52,120
Speaker 3: by practicing self compassion, and I, oh, yes, doctor Chris

665
00:32:52,160 --> 00:32:56,200
Speaker 3: germer g E R M E R Shame and self compassion.

666
00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 3: It is a hour long It's called self Compassion and

667
00:33:00,840 --> 00:33:02,760
Speaker 3: Antidote to Shame. That's the name of the video. If

668
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,680
Speaker 3: you struggle with shame, this really helped me. So he

669
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 3: talks about how what shame is is feeling embarrassed about

670
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 3: something you did right, feeling like I'm a bad person

671
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:18,720
Speaker 3: because I did this, I chose the wrong thing. I'm

672
00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:22,520
Speaker 3: making bad choices for myself. I'm embarrassed at the thing

673
00:33:22,560 --> 00:33:25,560
Speaker 3: I did. But what that really is, if you really

674
00:33:25,600 --> 00:33:29,520
Speaker 3: break it down, is that what you are just sad

675
00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:31,960
Speaker 3: that what you think you did is going to get

676
00:33:32,000 --> 00:33:36,880
Speaker 3: you less love. You're thinking when you've experienced shame, you're

677
00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:41,200
Speaker 3: mourning the loss of potential love. People aren't gonna love

678
00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 3: me as much because I chose to do this thing.

679
00:33:43,080 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 3: I'm such a bad person. I fail at getting love.

680
00:33:46,400 --> 00:33:48,520
Speaker 3: And when you really break it down, it's all about

681
00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,040
Speaker 3: like you're just someone who wants love. The fact that

682
00:33:51,040 --> 00:33:54,040
Speaker 3: you feel shame is just you being someone who desperately

683
00:33:54,080 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 3: wants love. And if you start thinking about everyone in

684
00:33:57,000 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 3: the world besides psychopaths, probably all just really want love,

685
00:34:00,760 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 3: and I would even argue that they do as well.

686
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,040
Speaker 3: You can feel more connected to other people. And if

687
00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,200
Speaker 3: you he asked you at the very end, if you're

688
00:34:08,200 --> 00:34:10,160
Speaker 3: willing to do it to go into He's like, okay,

689
00:34:10,160 --> 00:34:12,279
Speaker 3: now we're He talks for like forty five minutes about

690
00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:14,000
Speaker 3: shame and what it is and unlocks it, and then

691
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:16,360
Speaker 3: he goes Okay, Now I want you to imagine like

692
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 3: a thing that you're like thirty percent like, it gets

693
00:34:18,600 --> 00:34:21,280
Speaker 3: you about thirty percent anxious even thinking about how embarrassed

694
00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 3: you were and how shameful it is. Like for me,

695
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,520
Speaker 3: I was like pictured my bedside table and like how

696
00:34:27,560 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 3: many cans of zba there are, and there might be

697
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:33,040
Speaker 3: a vibrator and there might be like one earphone that

698
00:34:33,040 --> 00:34:35,319
Speaker 3: it didn't put back in its little case because I

699
00:34:35,360 --> 00:34:38,320
Speaker 3: was too lazy. And then I pictured the piece of

700
00:34:38,320 --> 00:34:41,719
Speaker 3: paper on the floor in my bedroom from my new

701
00:34:41,760 --> 00:34:44,000
Speaker 3: mattress that has been on the floor for two weeks

702
00:34:44,640 --> 00:34:47,200
Speaker 3: because I just don't have any reason to pick it up.

703
00:34:47,280 --> 00:34:49,279
Speaker 3: It's a piece of paper that came with it. That's like,

704
00:34:50,120 --> 00:34:52,560
Speaker 3: here's your new Strava mattress. I hope you like it.

705
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,520
Speaker 3: And it's just I keep stepping over it. It's literally

706
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:58,720
Speaker 3: on the way to my bed, I have to step

707
00:34:58,760 --> 00:35:00,440
Speaker 3: over it, and I just have it picked it up.

708
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:03,279
Speaker 3: So I just pictured that. It's about thirty percent shame

709
00:35:03,320 --> 00:35:05,040
Speaker 3: of like if someone saw this and knew how long

710
00:35:05,080 --> 00:35:08,000
Speaker 3: this has been here, Yeah, which I'm now like talking about, which,

711
00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:10,719
Speaker 3: by the way, sharing about your shameful things is a

712
00:35:10,800 --> 00:35:14,160
Speaker 3: huge antidote to shame aka why I became a comedian.

713
00:35:15,840 --> 00:35:18,360
Speaker 4: Really getting it off your chest telling someone about it.

714
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:22,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, Admitting the thing you're shamed about publicly, whether that's

715
00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:25,279
Speaker 3: to a friend or like to your husband, to a therapist,

716
00:35:25,640 --> 00:35:29,520
Speaker 3: is a way to get shame to lift. Yeah, so

717
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:31,480
Speaker 3: like makes you go into it.

718
00:35:31,600 --> 00:35:35,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, shame and embarrassment, Like are they the same then?

719
00:35:35,239 --> 00:35:36,440
Speaker 3: Are they?

720
00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:36,719
Speaker 6: Really?

721
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:38,879
Speaker 3: Don't know? I think they kind of are. I think

722
00:35:38,920 --> 00:35:43,880
Speaker 3: embarrassment is a type of shame because embarrassment level.

723
00:35:43,600 --> 00:35:47,200
Speaker 6: In the moment, and shame is like deeply rooted. This

724
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 6: this struck the core of your being and you don't

725
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,360
Speaker 6: even It's like you can get embarrassed by like doing like,

726
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,400
Speaker 6: oh my god, I spilled a drink on my pants

727
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,239
Speaker 6: and now looks like I pissed myself. Not embarrassed, But

728
00:35:58,239 --> 00:36:01,239
Speaker 6: you're not going to feel deep shame unless when you

729
00:36:01,239 --> 00:36:06,280
Speaker 6: were growing, Like shame and embarrassment is shame light, Yeah.

730
00:36:06,120 --> 00:36:07,680
Speaker 3: It's shame. It's it's diet shame.

731
00:36:07,880 --> 00:36:09,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, diet shame, but again the.

732
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 5: Same prospect of shame.

733
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:15,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, like if you're still because when I'm really feeling confident,

734
00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 3: I can follow over in a chair, I can trip

735
00:36:18,880 --> 00:36:21,359
Speaker 3: I can get food on my face and someone goes,

736
00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:22,919
Speaker 3: you have something on your face, and I don't care.

737
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:26,359
Speaker 3: But if I'm coming from a place of shame, those

738
00:36:26,400 --> 00:36:28,720
Speaker 3: things are like, oh my god, oh I'm so sorry,

739
00:36:28,719 --> 00:36:30,960
Speaker 3: Oh god, no I ruined my pants and people think

740
00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:34,520
Speaker 3: like so it definitely is connected to how you're feeling.

741
00:36:34,920 --> 00:36:37,919
Speaker 3: But lots of people, including myself, have a thing called

742
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,560
Speaker 3: toxic shame, which is what this Heidi girl opened me

743
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:44,480
Speaker 3: up about. And that's like, at your core, something happened

744
00:36:44,480 --> 00:36:46,160
Speaker 3: to you early in your life, and it could have

745
00:36:46,200 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 3: been an event of abuse. It could have been literally,

746
00:36:50,719 --> 00:36:53,240
Speaker 3: like I've talked about on the show before, like, uh,

747
00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,600
Speaker 3: you were a baby and someone was in a bad

748
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:58,120
Speaker 3: mood around you one day when you really needed them

749
00:36:58,160 --> 00:37:00,440
Speaker 3: to not be Like you could have been like watching

750
00:37:00,440 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 3: me one day and just like been in just a

751
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:06,000
Speaker 3: bad mood and not met my needs and I'm like

752
00:37:06,600 --> 00:37:08,360
Speaker 3: and you're just kind of like not smiling at me,

753
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:14,200
Speaker 3: And that literally can build in a baby, which who

754
00:37:14,280 --> 00:37:15,160
Speaker 3: is who could.

755
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:16,160
Speaker 5: Ever believe that?

756
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 3: Who could ever imagine well not imagine it? Like, how

757
00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,239
Speaker 3: could you avoid being in a bad mood around your baby?

758
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:24,239
Speaker 3: Of course you're like, but these are this is why

759
00:37:24,320 --> 00:37:28,799
Speaker 3: being a parent is so scary, because you do risk

760
00:37:28,920 --> 00:37:31,040
Speaker 3: and it's not your fault, by the way, if you

761
00:37:31,080 --> 00:37:33,440
Speaker 3: are a parent that does these things, because you're allowed

762
00:37:33,440 --> 00:37:35,279
Speaker 3: to be in a bad mood around your baby. But

763
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:39,120
Speaker 3: I will say that things like that can lead to uh.

764
00:37:39,400 --> 00:37:41,720
Speaker 3: If that happens a couple of times and a baby's

765
00:37:41,719 --> 00:37:44,760
Speaker 3: needs aren't being met or it's it's happiness is getting

766
00:37:44,760 --> 00:37:46,759
Speaker 3: met with like you're too happy and I'm in a

767
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,359
Speaker 3: bad mood and it's like not met, it can lead

768
00:37:49,400 --> 00:37:53,919
Speaker 3: to that baby feeling like I I am so there's

769
00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 3: something wrong with me. It's a sensitive baby, and then

770
00:37:58,360 --> 00:38:00,120
Speaker 3: they have to hide it, especially if you have like

771
00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,000
Speaker 3: like I didn't have a depressed mom growing up, but

772
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 3: people who do have depressed moms, some of who have

773
00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 3: been very close to me before. I've have many friends

774
00:38:08,040 --> 00:38:09,799
Speaker 3: that grew up with moms that were depressed and they

775
00:38:09,840 --> 00:38:12,440
Speaker 3: have to and I've been a depressed person. And when

776
00:38:12,440 --> 00:38:15,480
Speaker 3: people are happy around me, I fucking hate it, dude.

777
00:38:15,840 --> 00:38:17,319
Speaker 3: And I can only imagine if I had a little

778
00:38:17,400 --> 00:38:19,680
Speaker 3: kid around me being like, look at this is a

779
00:38:19,719 --> 00:38:22,360
Speaker 3: tree and I'm like, no, it's not like I would

780
00:38:22,400 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 3: just not when I'm at my worst depressed wise, I

781
00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 3: would just be like, I don't it's a leaf, why

782
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,960
Speaker 3: are you excited? Like I would. I know that it

783
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,279
Speaker 3: might if I were, if I were twenty five as

784
00:38:32,280 --> 00:38:35,680
Speaker 3: a mom, I would have no way to hide that shit.

785
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:38,239
Speaker 1: So, like, I haven't watched all of Heidie's things, but

786
00:38:38,280 --> 00:38:40,440
Speaker 1: I watched the one that you sent the.

787
00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:41,719
Speaker 3: Girl, Would you get out of it?

788
00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 1: I thought it was very interesting, but I just wanted

789
00:38:45,200 --> 00:38:47,280
Speaker 1: to touch on you know what you were just saying

790
00:38:47,480 --> 00:38:51,440
Speaker 1: that kind of puts the blame on one person. But

791
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:53,400
Speaker 1: when I got from the video where she was talking

792
00:38:53,400 --> 00:39:00,520
Speaker 1: about the baby has to take responsibility. Yes, that's what

793
00:39:00,680 --> 00:39:04,640
Speaker 1: for to heal itself. Yeah, I didn't get to that yet.

794
00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:06,640
Speaker 3: I'm just saying where it can come from.

795
00:39:07,200 --> 00:39:09,319
Speaker 1: Yes, So that's what I really liked about it. I

796
00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:13,040
Speaker 1: liked also what she was talking about how when you're

797
00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:16,760
Speaker 1: not really in touch with yourself, were working on healing

798
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:21,480
Speaker 1: your emotional traumas and issues and all that stuff. Your

799
00:39:22,040 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 1: your partner or you know, whoever you're in a relationship with,

800
00:39:25,000 --> 00:39:27,760
Speaker 1: the people you surround yourself by are going to mirror

801
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:31,160
Speaker 1: what is the internal struggle that you have. So I

802
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:32,800
Speaker 1: really like what you said about mirroring.

803
00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:36,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, well you talk more on that because I felt

804
00:39:36,400 --> 00:39:38,000
Speaker 3: like I got it, but I didn't get it like

805
00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:42,520
Speaker 3: whatever you oh yet, So if I feel like inherently

806
00:39:42,640 --> 00:39:47,360
Speaker 3: I am worthless unless I'm like so, that's that's what threes.

807
00:39:47,640 --> 00:39:50,360
Speaker 3: Threes feel like there their biggest fear is being worthless,

808
00:39:50,520 --> 00:39:53,360
Speaker 3: is being a nobody, and that truly, like, being perfect

809
00:39:53,520 --> 00:39:54,640
Speaker 3: is not my obsession.

810
00:39:54,719 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 4: I don't.

811
00:39:55,040 --> 00:39:57,080
Speaker 3: I know I'm not perfect, okay, And I used to

812
00:39:57,120 --> 00:39:59,680
Speaker 3: think I was a perfectionist, but that ain't it. I

813
00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,719
Speaker 3: just I don't want to be a nobody. I want

814
00:40:02,719 --> 00:40:05,160
Speaker 3: to be someone that people go I remember her like

815
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:07,880
Speaker 3: that's I just want to stand out and be extraordinary

816
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:11,960
Speaker 3: not perfect, right, But yeah, but in my core, I

817
00:40:11,960 --> 00:40:15,640
Speaker 3: think I feel like I expect things to be perfect

818
00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,360
Speaker 3: or that I want for yourself.

819
00:40:18,280 --> 00:40:20,000
Speaker 5: Do you think that I think you're a little bit

820
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:20,760
Speaker 5: of that? Really?

821
00:40:20,800 --> 00:40:24,000
Speaker 3: Okay, I screwed up this thing. No, the it's the

822
00:40:24,160 --> 00:40:26,879
Speaker 3: it's not good, like us eating a thing that you're

823
00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:28,160
Speaker 3: making and we're like, you're.

824
00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,279
Speaker 5: Like, nah, you're right, it's not good.

825
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:32,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, but it's not bad that you're that way. That's

826
00:40:32,280 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 3: just the way you are. It's just your personality. And

827
00:40:34,400 --> 00:40:36,759
Speaker 3: it's like and it also, like I said before, it

828
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:39,680
Speaker 3: makes you so great in so many ways. But but

829
00:40:39,760 --> 00:40:42,320
Speaker 3: you will if you're not working on yourself, you choose

830
00:40:42,400 --> 00:40:44,920
Speaker 3: people that will mirror back to you what you inherently

831
00:40:44,960 --> 00:40:48,279
Speaker 3: think about yourself, which is I'm not that good.

832
00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:50,279
Speaker 1: Or it's just like what you put out there. I

833
00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:53,320
Speaker 1: think what I liked about that is because I'm trying

834
00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:58,520
Speaker 1: to do like the hypnotherapy thing now and I'm talking

835
00:40:58,640 --> 00:41:02,200
Speaker 1: about like the mind body connection, and I think that

836
00:41:02,280 --> 00:41:03,919
Speaker 1: what she was saying kind of goes hand in hand

837
00:41:03,920 --> 00:41:07,239
Speaker 1: in it, which is like when your mind has these

838
00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:12,319
Speaker 1: negative thoughts about you, your mind has no way of implementing, right,

839
00:41:12,440 --> 00:41:15,400
Speaker 1: So what it does is it makes your body implement

840
00:41:15,520 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 1: So it like the negative thoughts turn out fit like

841
00:41:18,360 --> 00:41:21,360
Speaker 1: physical with your body and whatever. You know, like you

842
00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:25,840
Speaker 1: think of yourself, I'm not enough, I'm worthless, I'm unloved,

843
00:41:26,360 --> 00:41:31,759
Speaker 1: I'm always rejected. You're like making your body project that

844
00:41:31,840 --> 00:41:34,799
Speaker 1: to the world, and then therefore it attracts people who

845
00:41:34,880 --> 00:41:35,840
Speaker 1: will do that to you.

846
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:39,279
Speaker 3: Yes. Yes, she talks a lot about like the way

847
00:41:39,320 --> 00:41:41,760
Speaker 3: you physically look, and she's like, I want to be clear,

848
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:43,799
Speaker 3: I'm not fat shaming. I don't think you should look

849
00:41:43,840 --> 00:41:45,799
Speaker 3: a certain way. I think you should not subscribe to

850
00:41:45,840 --> 00:41:50,239
Speaker 3: like perfectionist stereotypes that you see on TikTok. And but

851
00:41:50,280 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 3: she goes, if you don't feed your body good foods

852
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:58,320
Speaker 3: and exercise your body and dress your body and things

853
00:41:58,320 --> 00:42:01,120
Speaker 3: that make it look good and feel good, you're not

854
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:04,720
Speaker 3: respecting yourself. And if you're not respecting yourself, no one's

855
00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:06,960
Speaker 3: gonna respect you. So when you go out and you

856
00:42:07,239 --> 00:42:09,440
Speaker 3: when you are feeding your body trash, when you are

857
00:42:09,560 --> 00:42:12,640
Speaker 3: drinking diet cokes even though they you know they like

858
00:42:12,800 --> 00:42:14,400
Speaker 3: try Cox, no shame, you feel amazing.

859
00:42:14,719 --> 00:42:15,160
Speaker 5: No shame.

860
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:18,040
Speaker 3: But like if I'm you know, smoking weed to the

861
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:22,120
Speaker 3: point where my throat is burning, Yeah, that's I'm would

862
00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:23,680
Speaker 3: I do that to a baby? When I do that

863
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,759
Speaker 3: to something that I loved? You have to respect yourself

864
00:42:26,960 --> 00:42:29,319
Speaker 3: and feed yourself good foods and things that will like

865
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,880
Speaker 3: make you feel good in order. It's it's self respect.

866
00:42:33,239 --> 00:42:35,600
Speaker 3: And I used to always say, oh, wearing makeup is

867
00:42:35,640 --> 00:42:38,560
Speaker 3: so sad, and like getting lip filler and all these things,

868
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:41,680
Speaker 3: like God, I'm such why I'm just trying to like

869
00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,799
Speaker 3: get people to like me that way. But I have

870
00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:48,520
Speaker 3: a new perception on it, which is I'm just trying

871
00:42:48,600 --> 00:42:51,279
Speaker 3: to look the way I feel. I'm trying to, like,

872
00:42:51,440 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 3: I feel pretty when I have lip fuller or whatever

873
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,239
Speaker 3: it is. That's not that's a bad example because I

874
00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:58,320
Speaker 3: don't feel pretty with lip filler, But with a lip flip,

875
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:00,680
Speaker 3: I do feel pretty if you but a little botoks

876
00:43:00,719 --> 00:43:03,200
Speaker 3: above my lip and it flips up, I feel prettier.

877
00:43:03,680 --> 00:43:06,120
Speaker 3: And that's not that bit of me to get. That's

878
00:43:06,280 --> 00:43:10,439
Speaker 3: me trying to put on the outside what I do

879
00:43:10,480 --> 00:43:13,720
Speaker 3: feel on the inside. Oka like I feel, I feel

880
00:43:13,760 --> 00:43:16,120
Speaker 3: like I'm someone who deserves to look pretty, so I'm

881
00:43:16,120 --> 00:43:18,240
Speaker 3: gonna and I and I think that that's not always

882
00:43:18,280 --> 00:43:20,360
Speaker 3: the case. There's times where people try to fix outward

883
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:22,239
Speaker 3: things to feel something on the inside. But I do

884
00:43:22,280 --> 00:43:25,120
Speaker 3: think that dressing a nice way or like you know

885
00:43:25,239 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 3: women who always wear heels or they always wear makeup,

886
00:43:27,680 --> 00:43:30,280
Speaker 3: I'm like, god, that's so sad. But maybe it's because

887
00:43:30,280 --> 00:43:32,400
Speaker 3: they respect themselves and they want to look nice.

888
00:43:32,680 --> 00:43:33,520
Speaker 2: Well that's that thing.

889
00:43:33,640 --> 00:43:36,640
Speaker 1: Also, is like making sure that your mind is talking

890
00:43:36,680 --> 00:43:40,839
Speaker 1: and positive. So it's like, yeah, yeah, it's not. It's

891
00:43:40,880 --> 00:43:45,839
Speaker 1: not easy, but you know, you can say, I I

892
00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:49,359
Speaker 1: choose to take care of my skin, So I'm getting.

893
00:43:49,080 --> 00:43:50,560
Speaker 3: The the liip flip.

894
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 1: For me, it's self care as opposed to you know,

895
00:43:54,360 --> 00:43:55,319
Speaker 1: something negative like.

896
00:43:55,360 --> 00:43:57,560
Speaker 3: No, what I judges you if you clean your car

897
00:43:57,760 --> 00:44:00,680
Speaker 3: or your house, or you get your kitchen remodel, you

898
00:44:00,719 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 3: get new you know, tires put on your car, but

899
00:44:03,719 --> 00:44:06,680
Speaker 3: you get lip filler, and people think it's you're like

900
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:08,680
Speaker 3: one of the saddest people that could ever live, or

901
00:44:08,800 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like judges me if I

902
00:44:10,960 --> 00:44:13,440
Speaker 3: do pilates three times a week, that's such a good thing. Well,

903
00:44:13,480 --> 00:44:16,560
Speaker 3: it's transforming my body. What if I did had a surgeon,

904
00:44:16,680 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 3: just do it quickly. It's the how is it different?

905
00:44:20,640 --> 00:44:24,560
Speaker 6: I was for trying to upgrade my car because I

906
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:28,600
Speaker 6: guess the man world, your car is like your body

907
00:44:28,680 --> 00:44:30,839
Speaker 6: is extension of your body, and it's view. I one

908
00:44:30,920 --> 00:44:35,200
Speaker 6: time tried to put a expensive stereo system into a

909
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:38,239
Speaker 6: really shitty car because I worked at this deli and

910
00:44:38,280 --> 00:44:40,000
Speaker 6: I had all this extra money and I didn't have

911
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:40,520
Speaker 6: anything to spend it.

912
00:44:41,040 --> 00:44:42,480
Speaker 3: And that's what we used to do in the early

913
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:46,360
Speaker 3: two thousands, is put nice stereo systems in shitty cars.

914
00:44:46,600 --> 00:44:51,160
Speaker 4: Yeah it was yeah, yeah, exactly.

915
00:44:51,200 --> 00:44:54,359
Speaker 6: And you had that thing, the plate that could fold down,

916
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:57,160
Speaker 6: and you could put a CD in it, like.

917
00:44:58,120 --> 00:45:00,640
Speaker 3: It would tilt down, Yes, it would green down.

918
00:45:00,719 --> 00:45:05,640
Speaker 6: You could put in it, and it had the uh

919
00:45:06,280 --> 00:45:09,120
Speaker 6: audio waveform thing popping, so it looked like your car

920
00:45:09,239 --> 00:45:10,720
Speaker 6: was like a disco you had.

921
00:45:10,600 --> 00:45:12,800
Speaker 3: Like the it would like it was like a little

922
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:17,799
Speaker 3: screen that would show the waves. There's nothing Crenny you

923
00:45:17,880 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 3: know about that because I was in high school in

924
00:45:20,040 --> 00:45:21,960
Speaker 3: the early two thousands and this is what people were

925
00:45:21,960 --> 00:45:25,080
Speaker 3: getting put in their cars, and it was you know,

926
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:28,080
Speaker 3: Huffy had one. I got one put in the bastard.

927
00:45:28,360 --> 00:45:29,360
Speaker 5: I remember, you did get it.

928
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:33,040
Speaker 3: Yeah. We were all to audio specialists and dropping our car, Yeah,

929
00:45:33,640 --> 00:45:36,800
Speaker 3: shotting them flip our cars. It was a thing I

930
00:45:36,840 --> 00:45:39,120
Speaker 3: read about recently, like why did we all decide to

931
00:45:39,160 --> 00:45:42,160
Speaker 3: do this? Because it came with shitty audio and simply

932
00:45:42,239 --> 00:45:44,760
Speaker 3: the audio was making bigger advancements than the car companies

933
00:45:44,760 --> 00:45:47,160
Speaker 3: could put in the cars. Okay, so Brian, you did this.

934
00:45:47,400 --> 00:45:51,200
Speaker 6: I had a nineteen ninety Volvo seven forty Turbo, which

935
00:45:51,239 --> 00:45:53,960
Speaker 6: remember those Volvos that were like a box They were

936
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:55,160
Speaker 6: like boxy cars.

937
00:45:55,480 --> 00:45:57,359
Speaker 3: Yeah, and they had the backward seats in the back.

938
00:45:58,080 --> 00:46:01,400
Speaker 6: No, they were regularly sorry a sedan. Yeah, it was

939
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:03,360
Speaker 6: a sedan, but it just it was like a square.

940
00:46:03,440 --> 00:46:06,719
Speaker 6: You know how cars these days are smooth and like

941
00:46:06,800 --> 00:46:09,920
Speaker 6: there's like a They're very smooth and like they're circular.

942
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 6: There's no shot tangles. A Volvo a volt from the

943
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:18,400
Speaker 6: nineties was like a bunch, like a like a couple

944
00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:20,040
Speaker 6: of rectangles on top of each other.

945
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,360
Speaker 3: They totally they were like a chill child's drawing of

946
00:46:23,760 --> 00:46:24,120
Speaker 3: a car.

947
00:46:24,320 --> 00:46:27,680
Speaker 4: Yes, like his hands not formed enough to do smooth arcs.

948
00:46:27,520 --> 00:46:29,520
Speaker 3: Yet, yes, yes.

949
00:46:30,680 --> 00:46:31,760
Speaker 4: Or like an etches sketch.

950
00:46:32,360 --> 00:46:35,720
Speaker 6: And so that car was like on its last legs.

951
00:46:35,800 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 6: And I put this thing in at Circuit City and

952
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:41,680
Speaker 6: now defunct Circuit City. The people there were like, We're like,

953
00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:43,920
Speaker 6: you want us to put this in that? And I

954
00:46:44,000 --> 00:46:46,400
Speaker 6: was like yeah, because it was like a three thousand

955
00:46:46,480 --> 00:46:51,720
Speaker 6: dollars system putting it in a car like three thousand

956
00:46:51,719 --> 00:46:53,120
Speaker 6: dollars and I could. And I was putting it in

957
00:46:53,120 --> 00:46:56,360
Speaker 6: a car that I could probably sell for seven hundred dollars,

958
00:46:58,560 --> 00:46:59,960
Speaker 6: And they were like, you want us to put this?

959
00:47:00,080 --> 00:47:01,480
Speaker 6: And then I was like yeah, And then I could

960
00:47:01,520 --> 00:47:02,399
Speaker 6: see them in the back.

961
00:47:02,560 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 3: You almost saved Circuit City.

962
00:47:04,360 --> 00:47:04,680
Speaker 4: I did.

963
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:04,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

964
00:47:05,200 --> 00:47:07,360
Speaker 6: I was trying to single handly save it from bankrupt.

965
00:47:08,600 --> 00:47:10,560
Speaker 6: They were all laughing at me in the back behind

966
00:47:10,640 --> 00:47:12,120
Speaker 6: when they were like, he wants to put it in there,

967
00:47:12,120 --> 00:47:13,719
Speaker 6: and then the other guy would go, oh my god.

968
00:47:13,800 --> 00:47:15,600
Speaker 6: They start laughing, and then they'd see that I was

969
00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:17,279
Speaker 6: looking at them through the screen and then they go, oh,

970
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:19,560
Speaker 6: he's looking at us, and then go laugh in private.

971
00:47:19,880 --> 00:47:21,680
Speaker 3: And then you screamed at them, but they you go,

972
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:22,960
Speaker 3: don't take offense. It's I'm an eight.

973
00:47:23,560 --> 00:47:24,319
Speaker 4: I'm just that's right.

974
00:47:24,719 --> 00:47:26,919
Speaker 6: I just started saying, but this is what I want.

975
00:47:27,080 --> 00:47:29,799
Speaker 6: I worked hard at the Deli, and that.

976
00:47:30,040 --> 00:47:31,439
Speaker 3: Is the way you talk.

977
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:34,320
Speaker 4: Yeah, I work very hard.

978
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:35,359
Speaker 5: At the Coming Ryan.

979
00:47:35,480 --> 00:47:37,560
Speaker 3: A thing you do on stage that I love is

980
00:47:37,560 --> 00:47:40,000
Speaker 3: like if the audience doesn't like a joke or like

981
00:47:40,120 --> 00:47:42,640
Speaker 3: isn't on board, he'll be like, so you don't think

982
00:47:42,680 --> 00:47:45,640
Speaker 3: that that's weird that that happened. Like he'll check with

983
00:47:45,680 --> 00:47:47,080
Speaker 3: them and go like, I just want to make sure

984
00:47:47,360 --> 00:47:50,400
Speaker 3: you don't think that's comical. I just said that, and

985
00:47:50,440 --> 00:47:52,399
Speaker 3: he'll repeat it and then they have to like they're like, well,

986
00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 3: actually you're right when you yeah, but he will check

987
00:47:55,760 --> 00:47:58,200
Speaker 3: with them. I'm just like, okay, I guess that wasn't funny,

988
00:47:58,239 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 3: But He's like, wait a second, So you don't think

989
00:48:01,160 --> 00:48:04,640
Speaker 3: that that is interesting that I just that I for

990
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:07,840
Speaker 3: you pressed the emergency stop button, not an escalator. Was

991
00:48:07,920 --> 00:48:08,799
Speaker 3: just okay with that.

992
00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:12,279
Speaker 6: Yes, Sometimes you say there's two things that happened. One

993
00:48:12,360 --> 00:48:15,160
Speaker 6: is sometimes you say something that almost that ninety five

994
00:48:15,160 --> 00:48:17,959
Speaker 6: percent of audiences thought was interesting, and for any reason,

995
00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:19,480
Speaker 6: this one audience decides it's not.

996
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:20,600
Speaker 4: They deserve to.

997
00:48:20,600 --> 00:48:24,560
Speaker 3: Be yell that absolutely. Oh my gosh, I totally know

998
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:30,880
Speaker 3: that feeling. Okay, we'll be right back after this final thought.

999
00:48:31,160 --> 00:48:34,320
Speaker 3: So Noah's wedding, I guess.

1000
00:48:34,360 --> 00:48:37,080
Speaker 5: Wait, wait, what's going on with Noah's wedding?

1001
00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:41,120
Speaker 3: Well, she got married? What, yes, was married when?

1002
00:48:42,280 --> 00:48:44,440
Speaker 2: Two years ago? About a month ago?

1003
00:48:44,719 --> 00:48:48,480
Speaker 5: Oh? Okaylation, I heard the wedding noise.

1004
00:48:48,560 --> 00:48:50,600
Speaker 6: But didn't you listen to the episode where we went

1005
00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:51,720
Speaker 6: in depth into her wedding.

1006
00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:53,879
Speaker 5: No, we did it.

1007
00:48:53,880 --> 00:48:56,160
Speaker 3: It's a joke we keep forgetting to talk about it.

1008
00:48:56,200 --> 00:48:58,919
Speaker 3: So I wanted to talk about some things. First of all,

1009
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:02,000
Speaker 3: leading up to the wedding. I've I've had three friends

1010
00:49:02,040 --> 00:49:07,320
Speaker 3: get married in the past year, and something that upsets

1011
00:49:07,320 --> 00:49:09,200
Speaker 3: so many brides and I wish we would all stop

1012
00:49:09,239 --> 00:49:13,480
Speaker 3: doing it. Is like people giving advice when it's not

1013
00:49:14,040 --> 00:49:18,080
Speaker 3: when they're asking for it and getting into And this

1014
00:49:18,239 --> 00:49:22,399
Speaker 3: is for upcoming mothers as well, Like stay in your lane.

1015
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:24,520
Speaker 3: I don't care how many kids you have, their experience

1016
00:49:24,560 --> 00:49:26,360
Speaker 3: is going to be different. You're bringing so much to

1017
00:49:26,400 --> 00:49:29,359
Speaker 3: the table that that they aren't, or or vice versa,

1018
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:34,080
Speaker 3: like just share your share positive things. Yeah, stop projecting

1019
00:49:34,120 --> 00:49:36,680
Speaker 3: all your negative bullshit just because you don't like your

1020
00:49:36,760 --> 00:49:41,400
Speaker 3: husband and you had a bad time, like spraise it

1021
00:49:41,440 --> 00:49:44,120
Speaker 3: from a positive place, like Noah, what did you go

1022
00:49:44,239 --> 00:49:45,000
Speaker 3: through a lot of that?

1023
00:49:45,960 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1024
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:48,840
Speaker 1: I think like if I took away anything and I

1025
00:49:48,880 --> 00:49:50,799
Speaker 1: knew going into it that I was going to get

1026
00:49:50,800 --> 00:49:56,480
Speaker 1: a lot of like opinions or statements or questions. And

1027
00:49:56,520 --> 00:50:00,440
Speaker 1: I think like for anyone who's getting married, the that

1028
00:50:00,520 --> 00:50:04,960
Speaker 1: you need is a backbone, and that could mean anything.

1029
00:50:04,960 --> 00:50:07,239
Speaker 1: That could mean being aggressive in return or just like

1030
00:50:07,360 --> 00:50:10,239
Speaker 1: letting shit roll off your back and just being like Okay, fine,

1031
00:50:10,239 --> 00:50:12,120
Speaker 1: this is probably coming from a loving place.

1032
00:50:12,120 --> 00:50:12,920
Speaker 3: But I don't need to.

1033
00:50:13,600 --> 00:50:14,520
Speaker 2: Absorb any of this.

1034
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:18,640
Speaker 1: But it's just very interesting that like all these things

1035
00:50:18,719 --> 00:50:22,359
Speaker 1: come out, all these like all of people's issues, and

1036
00:50:24,800 --> 00:50:27,880
Speaker 1: like I wouldn't even say it was all opinions about

1037
00:50:28,560 --> 00:50:30,480
Speaker 1: what we chose to do or anything like that, but

1038
00:50:30,920 --> 00:50:33,640
Speaker 1: just a lot of comments and things that you hear

1039
00:50:33,719 --> 00:50:36,719
Speaker 1: that are definitely like deeply rooted issues that people have

1040
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,480
Speaker 1: not addressed, and for some reason, a big event like

1041
00:50:39,520 --> 00:50:43,120
Speaker 1: a wedding or some kind of like big celebration brings

1042
00:50:43,280 --> 00:50:45,200
Speaker 1: that shit out. And I thought it was like very

1043
00:50:45,200 --> 00:50:47,560
Speaker 1: interesting from like a psychological perspective.

1044
00:50:47,560 --> 00:50:49,400
Speaker 3: Can we get an example.

1045
00:50:49,040 --> 00:50:53,279
Speaker 1: Yeah, just that, okay, I mean without going too much,

1046
00:50:53,320 --> 00:50:57,680
Speaker 1: but maybe like some family infighting that has nothing to

1047
00:50:57,760 --> 00:51:02,960
Speaker 1: do with the people getting married, and not like expecting

1048
00:51:03,000 --> 00:51:08,840
Speaker 1: a bride and groom to uh play chess with certain

1049
00:51:08,880 --> 00:51:11,319
Speaker 1: people when it could just be like adults handling it

1050
00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:12,520
Speaker 1: and staying away from each other.

1051
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:15,040
Speaker 3: I forget about them.

1052
00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:16,040
Speaker 5: I don't know.

1053
00:51:16,200 --> 00:51:18,919
Speaker 3: That's the thing that bugs me is like I see

1054
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:23,080
Speaker 3: that happen all the time of like brides or brides,

1055
00:51:23,239 --> 00:51:26,960
Speaker 3: mostly brides talking about how they have to deal with well,

1056
00:51:27,000 --> 00:51:29,200
Speaker 3: these people can't be sat with these people, and we're

1057
00:51:29,200 --> 00:51:31,080
Speaker 3: worried that his mom is going to feel I have

1058
00:51:31,120 --> 00:51:33,560
Speaker 3: to make sure his sister's brought into this thing. It's

1059
00:51:33,560 --> 00:51:37,759
Speaker 3: like yeah, your day, Yeah, you know, like what what

1060
00:51:38,120 --> 00:51:40,600
Speaker 3: why do we have to manage all these other people's

1061
00:51:40,840 --> 00:51:41,879
Speaker 3: feelings right now.

1062
00:51:42,080 --> 00:51:42,839
Speaker 5: But I got a.

1063
00:51:42,760 --> 00:51:44,799
Speaker 1: Lot and and my sister in law helped me through

1064
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:47,480
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff like you know that or maybe

1065
00:51:47,520 --> 00:51:50,319
Speaker 1: people having certain like dietaria restrictions.

1066
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:51,759
Speaker 4: I'm not going to.

1067
00:51:51,840 --> 00:51:56,480
Speaker 1: Add like chicken fingers to my wedding menu because this

1068
00:51:56,560 --> 00:52:00,640
Speaker 1: and that, Like she's like, you know, for people adults, right,

1069
00:52:00,680 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 1: So people are adults. They can your kidsring things, they

1070
00:52:04,600 --> 00:52:08,040
Speaker 1: can bring their sweater, they food, yes, they can handle it.

1071
00:52:08,080 --> 00:52:09,400
Speaker 2: They can keep themselves busy.

1072
00:52:09,400 --> 00:52:10,839
Speaker 1: You don't have to figure out what they're doing for

1073
00:52:10,880 --> 00:52:12,680
Speaker 1: dinner on a night that they're there that there's nothing

1074
00:52:12,719 --> 00:52:13,120
Speaker 1: going on.

1075
00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:16,800
Speaker 2: Just like all these it's like, yeah.

1076
00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:21,279
Speaker 3: Bring a backup, Yeah, bring a bring a pocket of

1077
00:52:21,320 --> 00:52:23,760
Speaker 3: protein bars, because you might not have something.

1078
00:52:23,760 --> 00:52:26,520
Speaker 6: A lot of time, even if you have the catering company,

1079
00:52:26,760 --> 00:52:28,759
Speaker 6: like make sure there's vegan options. A lot of the

1080
00:52:28,760 --> 00:52:31,719
Speaker 6: times they're just not good at the vegan options. And

1081
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:34,440
Speaker 6: then even if it is a wedding, not very good.

1082
00:52:34,520 --> 00:52:39,799
Speaker 3: Amazing for me, yeah I had a vegan it was.

1083
00:52:40,120 --> 00:52:42,719
Speaker 3: But yeah, that's that's an interesting thing that comes up

1084
00:52:42,760 --> 00:52:47,200
Speaker 3: as the just unsoledicited advice and and just people wanting

1085
00:52:47,239 --> 00:52:50,040
Speaker 3: to like get involved in and when you're just going

1086
00:52:50,120 --> 00:52:52,440
Speaker 3: to bring up drama when you're pregnant.

1087
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:55,160
Speaker 1: And everyone tells you, oh, aren't you tired? You should

1088
00:52:55,200 --> 00:52:58,680
Speaker 1: be sitting down, And I'm just like, uh, I've been

1089
00:52:58,680 --> 00:53:00,640
Speaker 1: on this planet for forty years, and my legs and

1090
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:02,799
Speaker 1: my body better than you. I can tell when I

1091
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:03,560
Speaker 1: need to sit down there.

1092
00:53:03,600 --> 00:53:06,040
Speaker 3: That's another thing. Let's just stop doing that in general.

1093
00:53:06,560 --> 00:53:09,480
Speaker 3: You must be so this like, yeah, can we all

1094
00:53:09,560 --> 00:53:12,080
Speaker 3: just do you know why we do that is because

1095
00:53:12,400 --> 00:53:14,560
Speaker 3: if you are someone that does that, it's because you

1096
00:53:14,600 --> 00:53:16,560
Speaker 3: don't speak up for yourself when your legs are tired.

1097
00:53:17,400 --> 00:53:20,920
Speaker 3: That's you. It's it's interesting other people do assume. Other

1098
00:53:20,960 --> 00:53:23,880
Speaker 3: people do assume. You don't like to have your needs

1099
00:53:23,880 --> 00:53:26,160
Speaker 3: met and you're scared to get the met. So that

1100
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:28,480
Speaker 3: is nice of you to consider other people's because I

1101
00:53:28,520 --> 00:53:30,080
Speaker 3: do that a lot too. I know that I do

1102
00:53:30,160 --> 00:53:32,680
Speaker 3: that because I'm always scared to speak up. So I'm

1103
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:35,560
Speaker 3: constantly modoring what other people might need to try to

1104
00:53:35,560 --> 00:53:37,480
Speaker 3: get ahead of it because I know they won't speak up,

1105
00:53:37,480 --> 00:53:41,279
Speaker 3: but they will because they're or you should leave them

1106
00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:45,799
Speaker 3: to have to say something, don't try to And yeah,

1107
00:53:45,840 --> 00:53:48,680
Speaker 3: that's so insulting. When someone's like you should sit down,

1108
00:53:48,760 --> 00:53:50,439
Speaker 3: like well editing.

1109
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:53,880
Speaker 1: It didn't even come from family or anything. Like A

1110
00:53:53,960 --> 00:53:57,920
Speaker 1: quick story is one of the hotel staff people, the

1111
00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:03,040
Speaker 1: cleaning lady. I passed her in the hallway and she's like, oh,

1112
00:54:03,080 --> 00:54:04,719
Speaker 1: how many weeks are you this? And that's so I

1113
00:54:04,719 --> 00:54:08,600
Speaker 1: told her, and she's like, my daughter just had a baby. Okay, great, awesome.

1114
00:54:09,160 --> 00:54:11,440
Speaker 1: Then the next day I'm downstairs in the lobby waiting

1115
00:54:11,520 --> 00:54:13,759
Speaker 1: and she passes by me and she looks at me

1116
00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:19,839
Speaker 1: and she goes, how many weeks are you? And I'm like, oh, thirty,

1117
00:54:20,600 --> 00:54:24,120
Speaker 1: I'm twenty seven weeks and she's like, twenty seven weeks.

1118
00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:27,640
Speaker 2: You should be sitting down, not standing. It's okay.

1119
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:31,239
Speaker 3: Oh so see that's like putting making you feel bad

1120
00:54:31,280 --> 00:54:32,920
Speaker 3: about like what are you doing to that baby?

1121
00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:36,680
Speaker 2: And standing is good, it's good. It's I'm building muscle,

1122
00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:37,200
Speaker 2: it's good.

1123
00:54:37,520 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's like almost seven months.

1124
00:54:41,120 --> 00:54:41,680
Speaker 2: Yeah almost.

1125
00:54:41,840 --> 00:54:42,200
Speaker 4: Oh wow.

1126
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:46,719
Speaker 3: She's she's just acting like she's being nice to you

1127
00:54:46,920 --> 00:54:49,479
Speaker 3: and like thinking, yeah, I didn't think too.

1128
00:54:49,440 --> 00:54:50,840
Speaker 1: Much of it, to be honest, And I have to

1129
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:53,640
Speaker 1: say that, like, for the most part, I had a

1130
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:58,839
Speaker 1: wonderful time, even though my got me down abby. So

1131
00:54:59,040 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 1: on our like our first dance or whatever it was

1132
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:04,680
Speaker 1: after everyone gave speeches and.

1133
00:55:04,600 --> 00:55:08,359
Speaker 2: He started to cry. He was so cute like during

1134
00:55:08,400 --> 00:55:10,760
Speaker 2: the speed not during this speech.

1135
00:55:10,800 --> 00:55:12,399
Speaker 1: It was just like I think, like it all kind

1136
00:55:12,400 --> 00:55:14,240
Speaker 1: of like hit him.

1137
00:55:15,560 --> 00:55:17,319
Speaker 3: Does he cry a lot like emotionally?

1138
00:55:18,520 --> 00:55:21,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean he is. He's cried. He's cried. I

1139
00:55:21,600 --> 00:55:24,520
Speaker 2: mean like he cries. I seen it, Yeah, I've seen it.

1140
00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:27,480
Speaker 4: But did tell him to sit down? He should sit down?

1141
00:55:28,280 --> 00:55:28,480
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1142
00:55:29,040 --> 00:55:29,600
Speaker 2: Did you tell him?

1143
00:55:29,640 --> 00:55:29,759
Speaker 6: How?

1144
00:55:29,800 --> 00:55:31,880
Speaker 1: I was just like I was ashamed to another dance

1145
00:55:31,920 --> 00:55:34,400
Speaker 1: move because we were just like like waiting, like like

1146
00:55:34,560 --> 00:55:35,120
Speaker 1: back and forth.

1147
00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:37,160
Speaker 3: I was so awkward to dance in front of everyone.

1148
00:55:38,120 --> 00:55:40,879
Speaker 1: Was honestly you know how I am with being center

1149
00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:43,080
Speaker 1: of attention. I don't want yes, oh yeah tell me.

1150
00:55:43,239 --> 00:55:46,239
Speaker 1: I didn't care. I was like, you know what f this?

1151
00:55:47,239 --> 00:55:49,000
Speaker 3: They can watch if they want, they don't have to

1152
00:55:49,000 --> 00:55:49,760
Speaker 3: if they don't.

1153
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:50,000
Speaker 2: I want to.

1154
00:55:50,600 --> 00:55:53,640
Speaker 1: Also, my my contact got stained from like my hairspray

1155
00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:55,279
Speaker 1: or makeup or something, so I was only like with

1156
00:55:55,320 --> 00:55:59,799
Speaker 1: one contact the whole time. So I was just like,

1157
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:02,160
Speaker 1: I don't give a shit, I only get this once.

1158
00:56:02,360 --> 00:56:06,440
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna I'm gonna enjoy it. And I liked

1159
00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:08,799
Speaker 1: our first dance and then we had a type of

1160
00:56:08,840 --> 00:56:11,720
Speaker 1: negative song that it was really fun to dance too,

1161
00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:15,000
Speaker 1: called I Don't Want to Be Me and we just

1162
00:56:15,040 --> 00:56:16,759
Speaker 1: like thrashed around with our friends.

1163
00:56:16,440 --> 00:56:20,040
Speaker 2: And are like a health santal song I got some

1164
00:56:20,120 --> 00:56:22,440
Speaker 2: family was like what's going on? Oh no, a pregnant

1165
00:56:22,440 --> 00:56:24,920
Speaker 2: woman in a marsh bit. But it was not like that.

1166
00:56:25,000 --> 00:56:28,920
Speaker 1: It was just fun and I really understood what the

1167
00:56:29,000 --> 00:56:32,879
Speaker 1: wedded bliss feeling was, like, I really felt it.

1168
00:56:32,880 --> 00:56:33,680
Speaker 2: It was really nice.

1169
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:34,480
Speaker 5: That's cool.

1170
00:56:34,640 --> 00:56:36,919
Speaker 3: Are you still do you still have it? What does

1171
00:56:37,080 --> 00:56:41,160
Speaker 3: life feel different now being married? Is there a change?

1172
00:56:41,680 --> 00:56:44,239
Speaker 2: Well, you know, like we did everything backwards.

1173
00:56:43,960 --> 00:56:46,200
Speaker 3: So yeah, like I guess being pregnant with his child

1174
00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:50,319
Speaker 3: and living in a house to get Yes.

1175
00:56:50,560 --> 00:56:55,439
Speaker 2: We did, and yeah, but it feels nice.

1176
00:56:55,600 --> 00:56:59,439
Speaker 3: I definitely feel have you said husband yet? Yes?

1177
00:56:59,520 --> 00:57:03,319
Speaker 1: And that that feels good. I like it because I

1178
00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:08,480
Speaker 1: feel like a sense of security and you know, like

1179
00:57:08,840 --> 00:57:11,840
Speaker 1: like the seal of commitment that we both mean to

1180
00:57:11,880 --> 00:57:12,319
Speaker 1: each other.

1181
00:57:12,600 --> 00:57:15,520
Speaker 4: And the baby didn't give that to you, like the

1182
00:57:15,520 --> 00:57:17,000
Speaker 4: fact that you're gonna have a baby together.

1183
00:57:19,520 --> 00:57:22,040
Speaker 1: You know what, It was not the baby that sealed

1184
00:57:22,040 --> 00:57:23,360
Speaker 1: the deal, It was the wedding.

1185
00:57:25,040 --> 00:57:27,560
Speaker 5: Well, congratulations that's so fun.

1186
00:57:28,520 --> 00:57:32,400
Speaker 3: The picture she looked so beautiful and her dress was

1187
00:57:32,440 --> 00:57:34,400
Speaker 3: so good. But then she told she has Sara Lena

1188
00:57:34,440 --> 00:57:36,080
Speaker 3: for advice on the dress, like how do I make

1189
00:57:36,120 --> 00:57:38,200
Speaker 3: this better? And Sarah Lena told her to put a

1190
00:57:38,240 --> 00:57:40,200
Speaker 3: slit in it, and all killed God.

1191
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:42,400
Speaker 1: She didn't just put a slit. She was like, put

1192
00:57:42,400 --> 00:57:43,880
Speaker 1: a slit and put it all the way up to here,

1193
00:57:43,920 --> 00:57:48,280
Speaker 1: and she pointed to like where the femur meets the pelvis.

1194
00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:53,520
Speaker 3: It was such a good call. It was so really yeah.

1195
00:57:53,520 --> 00:57:55,760
Speaker 3: But she's also pregnant, so she can't look would have

1196
00:57:55,760 --> 00:57:59,160
Speaker 3: looked like a balloon. She can't look indecent. When you're pregnant.

1197
00:57:59,160 --> 00:58:02,560
Speaker 3: You never pornographic, right, So like you could do the

1198
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:05,880
Speaker 3: sexiest thing and you still look like wholeome.

1199
00:58:06,080 --> 00:58:07,040
Speaker 5: You felt comfortable.

1200
00:58:07,520 --> 00:58:10,880
Speaker 1: It was so hot and my boobs grew three cups.

1201
00:58:10,920 --> 00:58:13,480
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, let's let's hump these

1202
00:58:13,480 --> 00:58:14,080
Speaker 1: babies up.

1203
00:58:14,160 --> 00:58:17,160
Speaker 3: Well. Christ and I went to a pregnant wedding in Australia.

1204
00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:19,640
Speaker 3: She's she was seven and a half months maybe eight

1205
00:58:19,640 --> 00:58:24,120
Speaker 3: months pregnant, and I was like, that's the hottest bride

1206
00:58:24,120 --> 00:58:27,320
Speaker 3: I've ever seen in my fucking life. There is something

1207
00:58:27,480 --> 00:58:31,640
Speaker 3: about a pregnant woman that is so hot, and I

1208
00:58:31,680 --> 00:58:34,160
Speaker 3: went up to her afterwards and I go, listen, I

1209
00:58:34,160 --> 00:58:36,840
Speaker 3: know everyone's telling you you look hot tonight. And I

1210
00:58:36,880 --> 00:58:38,360
Speaker 3: was like, and that's just what they would say no

1211
00:58:38,360 --> 00:58:41,560
Speaker 3: matter what, but we all mean it. This is really,

1212
00:58:42,000 --> 00:58:44,480
Speaker 3: this is next level. I was like, I want to

1213
00:58:44,520 --> 00:58:47,200
Speaker 3: get pregnant because this looks you make it look like

1214
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:49,800
Speaker 3: a hot access time. You said no because I just

1215
00:58:49,800 --> 00:58:52,560
Speaker 3: want to look hot, but I really was like, you

1216
00:58:52,600 --> 00:58:54,640
Speaker 3: make me want to be pregnant because it makes you

1217
00:58:54,680 --> 00:58:55,960
Speaker 3: look so beautiful.

1218
00:58:56,320 --> 00:58:59,000
Speaker 5: I am to see your picture with you.

1219
00:58:59,040 --> 00:59:02,000
Speaker 3: They're really cute. And then they did this like, what's

1220
00:59:02,040 --> 00:59:04,400
Speaker 3: the Jewish ritual where you like, he walks around you

1221
00:59:04,440 --> 00:59:04,840
Speaker 3: a bunch.

1222
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:08,200
Speaker 4: That's the nervous energy tradition.

1223
00:59:09,800 --> 00:59:15,240
Speaker 2: Yes, so so.

1224
00:59:15,920 --> 00:59:18,919
Speaker 1: In the Jewish wrote him, I have to walk around

1225
00:59:19,000 --> 00:59:21,479
Speaker 1: him seven times. I don't give him a ring. During

1226
00:59:21,480 --> 00:59:22,440
Speaker 1: the ceremony, I.

1227
00:59:22,440 --> 00:59:24,040
Speaker 3: Thought they were going to stop playing the music and

1228
00:59:24,040 --> 00:59:25,480
Speaker 3: it was going to be like musical chairs and you're

1229
00:59:25,480 --> 00:59:27,680
Speaker 3: gonna have to like both violently slit sit somewhere because

1230
00:59:27,680 --> 00:59:32,520
Speaker 3: you're just like but you walk around to symbolize the ring.

1231
00:59:33,360 --> 00:59:36,160
Speaker 1: So yeah, like so that's like my my ring to him.

1232
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:39,120
Speaker 1: That's me symbolizing to him that you know, I'm accepting

1233
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:39,880
Speaker 1: him and all that.

1234
00:59:39,800 --> 00:59:45,280
Speaker 3: Stuff walk around him. He doesn't to wear anything to Oh. Actually, yeah,

1235
00:59:45,280 --> 00:59:47,240
Speaker 3: he has a right, so.

1236
00:59:47,600 --> 00:59:49,600
Speaker 2: There's like okay.

1237
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:52,520
Speaker 1: So basically, after the ceremony and Jewish tradition, you go

1238
00:59:52,720 --> 00:59:56,160
Speaker 1: down to a private space for twelve minutes and you're

1239
00:59:56,160 --> 00:59:59,640
Speaker 1: supposed to have sex for the first time. I've never

1240
00:59:59,720 --> 01:00:04,040
Speaker 1: heard and that's what that's your a present. It's called

1241
01:00:04,040 --> 01:00:07,280
Speaker 1: the room. And you go there and you give him

1242
01:00:07,320 --> 01:00:10,360
Speaker 1: a ring or like a gift or anything like that.

1243
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:12,200
Speaker 1: You know, he he presents you with a gift or

1244
01:00:12,200 --> 01:00:14,400
Speaker 1: anything like that, and you have sex sealed for the

1245
01:00:14,400 --> 01:00:18,400
Speaker 1: first time for twelve minutes, at least twelve minutes. And

1246
01:00:18,440 --> 01:00:20,720
Speaker 1: every then you come back and everyone knows you've just

1247
01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:22,880
Speaker 1: banged yes.

1248
01:00:22,960 --> 01:00:28,280
Speaker 4: And I go, that was only six minutes. What's going on? Well, No, the.

1249
01:00:28,680 --> 01:00:30,720
Speaker 1: Rabbi stays outside the room and make sure you don't

1250
01:00:30,760 --> 01:00:31,920
Speaker 1: come out before twelve minutes.

1251
01:00:32,280 --> 01:00:36,200
Speaker 3: Oh my god, did you actually go to a room.

1252
01:00:36,680 --> 01:00:37,040
Speaker 2: We didn't.

1253
01:00:37,080 --> 01:00:40,280
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm we've already had sex because I was pregnant,

1254
01:00:40,440 --> 01:00:43,880
Speaker 1: so it wasn't like that. But that's that's where we

1255
01:00:43,920 --> 01:00:48,400
Speaker 1: signed our marriage license and our friends came down and that's.

1256
01:00:48,200 --> 01:00:49,320
Speaker 2: Why I gave his ring.

1257
01:00:50,280 --> 01:00:53,360
Speaker 1: We had an orgy with the rabbi. It was wonderful

1258
01:00:54,520 --> 01:00:58,840
Speaker 1: in the stomping on the glass, Yes, stopped on the glass.

1259
01:00:58,840 --> 01:01:01,480
Speaker 1: But the chairs of where they like lift you in

1260
01:01:01,560 --> 01:01:04,360
Speaker 1: the in the party and ye shake you up and down.

1261
01:01:04,720 --> 01:01:07,880
Speaker 3: They just do it to the guy right now, they

1262
01:01:07,920 --> 01:01:08,520
Speaker 3: lift you both.

1263
01:01:08,960 --> 01:01:12,080
Speaker 1: Oh I only got raised halfway because you know of

1264
01:01:12,120 --> 01:01:12,760
Speaker 1: the case.

1265
01:01:13,040 --> 01:01:13,760
Speaker 3: Oh that's fun.

1266
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:15,960
Speaker 5: Yeah, oh wow.

1267
01:01:16,080 --> 01:01:18,720
Speaker 3: Well in Australia, after you get married and you say

1268
01:01:18,720 --> 01:01:22,240
Speaker 3: I do, they step to the side, they sit down

1269
01:01:22,280 --> 01:01:24,840
Speaker 3: at a table and then they call up witnesses and

1270
01:01:24,880 --> 01:01:26,959
Speaker 3: then they sign the legal papers there and it takes

1271
01:01:26,960 --> 01:01:29,280
Speaker 3: like ten minutes and everyone just kind of stands there

1272
01:01:29,280 --> 01:01:33,200
Speaker 3: and waits, and Chris, I guess I just would go

1273
01:01:33,320 --> 01:01:36,720
Speaker 3: what's I know? And everyone's like the signing and I'm like, oh,

1274
01:01:36,880 --> 01:01:38,480
Speaker 3: I don't even know what they called it, but I

1275
01:01:38,560 --> 01:01:40,160
Speaker 3: go what is this? And they're like, you guys, don't

1276
01:01:40,200 --> 01:01:42,840
Speaker 3: do this, and we're like no, we just want to party,

1277
01:01:42,880 --> 01:01:45,280
Speaker 3: we want some attention. We don't really want the documents.

1278
01:01:45,640 --> 01:01:49,520
Speaker 3: Party don't even sign the documents afterwards. I have friends

1279
01:01:49,520 --> 01:01:52,000
Speaker 3: who have gotten divorced and they go to get a

1280
01:01:52,000 --> 01:01:54,320
Speaker 3: divorce and they realize they never even went and filed

1281
01:01:54,600 --> 01:01:57,280
Speaker 3: the paperworld, so they're not even married. I have a

1282
01:01:57,320 --> 01:02:00,880
Speaker 3: friend that happened, because it's just you could just say

1283
01:02:00,880 --> 01:02:03,640
Speaker 3: that you are, no one's gonna question it. But in

1284
01:02:03,680 --> 01:02:08,960
Speaker 3: Australia they make you sign the papers like proof want

1285
01:02:09,040 --> 01:02:09,680
Speaker 3: prove ye.

1286
01:02:11,640 --> 01:02:13,919
Speaker 6: At my wedding, I opted not to do the chair

1287
01:02:14,000 --> 01:02:17,640
Speaker 6: thing for the most Jewish reason possible, which is I

1288
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:23,800
Speaker 6: thought I'd get nauseousnous, and so it's like, it should

1289
01:02:23,800 --> 01:02:26,640
Speaker 6: be the tradition that you decline the chair thing because

1290
01:02:26,640 --> 01:02:27,720
Speaker 6: you're gonna get nauseous.

1291
01:02:27,720 --> 01:02:30,520
Speaker 4: That should be the Jewish tradition. It's not for me.

1292
01:02:31,960 --> 01:02:33,920
Speaker 4: I don't want to put myself in that position.

1293
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:38,320
Speaker 3: And then you you, they go, Okay, we're gonna stop

1294
01:02:38,320 --> 01:02:45,760
Speaker 3: the glasses, but it's gonna make a mask that's gonna get.

1295
01:02:45,000 --> 01:02:46,720
Speaker 6: That's more Jewish. It's to be like, but what if

1296
01:02:46,760 --> 01:02:47,760
Speaker 6: I cut my foot?

1297
01:02:48,320 --> 01:02:56,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, I warned us about oh, pick out thin glass.

1298
01:02:56,240 --> 01:02:58,120
Speaker 3: It reminds me of another night when Dad caught a

1299
01:02:58,160 --> 01:03:01,840
Speaker 3: stink bug in the TV room. He's like, I hate

1300
01:03:01,840 --> 01:03:03,720
Speaker 3: these damn things, and I'm just like God, just let

1301
01:03:03,720 --> 01:03:05,080
Speaker 3: it out. And he goes, no, you gotta kill it.

1302
01:03:05,120 --> 01:03:07,200
Speaker 3: And so he goes out in his socks and he

1303
01:03:07,240 --> 01:03:10,400
Speaker 3: puts the stink bug in a paper towel and then

1304
01:03:10,440 --> 01:03:13,880
Speaker 3: he stomps on the paper towel and he really stops it.

1305
01:03:13,880 --> 01:03:15,920
Speaker 3: It's like this very dramatic thing. And I go, what

1306
01:03:16,040 --> 01:03:18,840
Speaker 3: did that feel good? Really? Oh? You let him have

1307
01:03:18,880 --> 01:03:20,880
Speaker 3: it? And he goes, no, you gotta kill him. I was

1308
01:03:20,880 --> 01:03:22,160
Speaker 3: trying to make sure he was dead. I was like,

1309
01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:24,480
Speaker 3: that was a little much. And he came back in

1310
01:03:24,520 --> 01:03:26,959
Speaker 3: and he goes, God, he could smell that damn stink bug,

1311
01:03:27,280 --> 01:03:31,240
Speaker 3: he expressed before I killed him. And then he goes, oh,

1312
01:03:31,320 --> 01:03:34,280
Speaker 3: it's he smelled his foot and it's soaked into Who

1313
01:03:34,280 --> 01:03:35,680
Speaker 3: stumps on a bug in their sock?

1314
01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:38,680
Speaker 5: That hart, you.

1315
01:03:38,760 --> 01:03:41,240
Speaker 3: Know, oozes out the worst smell.

1316
01:03:41,560 --> 01:03:46,360
Speaker 5: Yeah, well dad hates stink bugs. No one likes that.

1317
01:03:46,600 --> 01:03:47,880
Speaker 5: I like him, I mean.

1318
01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:53,280
Speaker 3: Kind of they are harmless. He's obsessed. He built a

1319
01:03:53,320 --> 01:03:56,680
Speaker 3: special trap out of a leader bottles. Nikki Glazer pod means,

1320
01:03:56,720 --> 01:03:58,920
Speaker 3: will you please do a meme about my dad and

1321
01:03:59,040 --> 01:04:02,439
Speaker 3: stink bombs and how he is out to get them

1322
01:04:02,640 --> 01:04:05,400
Speaker 3: and he wants them to suffer. Actually, hates them that much.

1323
01:04:05,920 --> 01:04:09,000
Speaker 3: I'm like, I hate this thing because they fall into

1324
01:04:09,080 --> 01:04:10,919
Speaker 3: this trap and they die. Dad.

1325
01:04:10,920 --> 01:04:13,520
Speaker 5: That's the type two and their biggest We're going to

1326
01:04:14,880 --> 01:04:16,200
Speaker 5: I'm going to do a test on him.

1327
01:04:16,240 --> 01:04:17,240
Speaker 3: No, oh yeah, we should.

1328
01:04:17,760 --> 01:04:18,400
Speaker 2: I'll sign you that.

1329
01:04:18,400 --> 01:04:19,800
Speaker 3: You got to give it. You gotta tell me which

1330
01:04:19,800 --> 01:04:21,320
Speaker 3: one is. I'm going to guess and I bet, I

1331
01:04:21,680 --> 01:04:23,840
Speaker 3: bet I'll know. But all right, well I don't know

1332
01:04:23,880 --> 01:04:25,920
Speaker 3: what that is yet. Okay, we gotta go. Thank you

1333
01:04:25,960 --> 01:04:27,480
Speaker 3: guys so much for listening to the podcast. We will

1334
01:04:27,520 --> 01:04:31,160
Speaker 3: be here tomorrow. Don't even think you we won't. This weekend,

1335
01:04:31,200 --> 01:04:33,800
Speaker 3: I'm going to be in Grand Rapids and Columbus. So

1336
01:04:33,880 --> 01:04:37,160
Speaker 3: excited about those shows. We are back on tour. It

1337
01:04:37,280 --> 01:04:39,760
Speaker 3: is so fun. Bessie's have been coming up to shows.

1338
01:04:39,800 --> 01:04:42,440
Speaker 3: It's like the best time meeting you guys afterwards. As always,

1339
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:44,000
Speaker 3: you can go to the merch booth after the show.

1340
01:04:44,320 --> 01:04:46,680
Speaker 3: Tell Anya that you're a bestie. She'll give you a

1341
01:04:46,680 --> 01:04:48,360
Speaker 3: free meet and greet. You know how it works, So

1342
01:04:48,400 --> 01:04:51,840
Speaker 3: buy tickets to those shows Grand Rapids and Columbus this weekend, Yes,

1343
01:04:52,000 --> 01:04:54,440
Speaker 3: this weekend, and then the following weekend. We're somewhere else,

1344
01:04:54,480 --> 01:05:00,200
Speaker 3: Brian where are we Cincinnati, Gary, Gary, Indiana. Yeah, place

1345
01:05:00,240 --> 01:05:03,680
Speaker 3: with Michael Jackson and then Cincinnati birthplace of Moir.

1346
01:05:03,920 --> 01:05:05,920
Speaker 5: We're gonna have a bunch of people coming.

1347
01:05:05,880 --> 01:05:08,040
Speaker 3: A bunch of people and also best easy. You got

1348
01:05:08,080 --> 01:05:09,320
Speaker 3: to fill that up too, because I don't want to

1349
01:05:09,320 --> 01:05:10,920
Speaker 3: all be my family, all right, Love you guys so much,

1350
01:05:10,960 --> 01:05:12,240
Speaker 3: thank you for listening. Don't be good Bye.