1 00:00:07,480 --> 00:00:10,080 Speaker 1: Welcome back to about to our happy hours, Golden Hour. 2 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:14,280 Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us today. We are as always excited 3 00:00:14,280 --> 00:00:15,880 Speaker 1: to be here and share some time with you. 4 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 2: How are you doing today, Susan? 5 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 3: Pretty good? Pretty good, waiting on the pins and the 6 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,479 Speaker 3: plates going to be put in my arm here? 7 00:00:22,520 --> 00:00:26,000 Speaker 1: But can I just say, can I just say little 8 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:29,720 Speaker 1: known fact here? Two years ago I broke my wrist 9 00:00:30,480 --> 00:00:33,240 Speaker 1: exactly in the same way that Susan. 10 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:35,400 Speaker 3: Why do I need to copy you? Why? 11 00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:36,199 Speaker 2: I don't know. 12 00:00:36,440 --> 00:00:40,199 Speaker 1: I was very foolish. We fell the same way. When 13 00:00:40,240 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 1: she called me, I was like, oh, let me tell 14 00:00:42,000 --> 00:00:44,960 Speaker 1: you what's coming your way? So God, but you know what, 15 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,840 Speaker 1: She's good, She's gonna be fine. She's good to be fine. 16 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,120 Speaker 1: Your wrist will be as good. 17 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:51,680 Speaker 3: No cartwheels for a couple of weeks. 18 00:00:51,840 --> 00:00:53,159 Speaker 2: You know, and no understand. 19 00:00:53,880 --> 00:00:57,720 Speaker 3: We're here to answer more of our fan questions, So guys, 20 00:00:57,840 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 3: make sure you keep submitting those. We love reading them, 21 00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,760 Speaker 3: and we definitely love hearing back from you to see 22 00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:08,080 Speaker 3: how things wait. You know what to do, Just go 23 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:12,240 Speaker 3: to Bachelor nation dot com slash Golden Hour and submit away, 24 00:01:12,400 --> 00:01:15,280 Speaker 3: because we're here to receive them and talk about them. 25 00:01:15,360 --> 00:01:18,160 Speaker 1: And let me just say, since Susan can't do much, 26 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:23,120 Speaker 1: she really wants to read your questions and contemplate her answers. 27 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:27,360 Speaker 1: So please do us all a favor and send and 28 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: you know what. You can send us your questions, your updates, 29 00:01:30,160 --> 00:01:31,720 Speaker 1: send it to all of us. You'll be doing Susan 30 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 1: a favor. You can also DM us on Instagram at 31 00:01:34,959 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 1: Bachelor Happy Hour. 32 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 3: All right, okay, you ready, Kat, it's time. 33 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:40,880 Speaker 2: I'll get into the episode. 34 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:43,840 Speaker 3: And we're going to start with the question of the 35 00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:48,960 Speaker 3: day a day. Okay, when dating in your golden years, 36 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:53,240 Speaker 3: how important is it that you live in the same 37 00:01:53,360 --> 00:01:58,920 Speaker 3: city or what about the same state? How important is 38 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:04,400 Speaker 3: that when at our age? I mean it's more convenient, I'll. 39 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:11,720 Speaker 1: Say, uh, you know, I think it depends. I think 40 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:15,480 Speaker 1: it depends on how you meet the person. If you 41 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:20,560 Speaker 1: if you establish a relationship and you then are living 42 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:22,840 Speaker 1: for like, say somebody's in town and you spend three 43 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:24,399 Speaker 1: or four days with them, and you're like, oh, I'd 44 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 1: like to continue dating. I think long distance can work, 45 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:36,480 Speaker 1: but I think it's tough. It's more difficult, it's more expensive. 46 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:41,640 Speaker 1: I don't know many relationships. You know, we've interviewed some 47 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:47,280 Speaker 1: young guys and women from the Bachelor series on our 48 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 1: podcast who have said it's an issue. I think it 49 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:57,000 Speaker 1: is potentially an issue to get to the finish line. 50 00:02:57,040 --> 00:02:58,960 Speaker 1: And by the finish line, I don't mean marriage. I 51 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:03,559 Speaker 1: just mean to solidify your relationship. I think it's hard. 52 00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 3: When you're for you, I'm asking you how important it 53 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,840 Speaker 3: is is it that he lives in the same state 54 00:03:08,919 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 3: as you, or. 55 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:17,360 Speaker 1: It's not important in the beginning. In the beginning, yes, 56 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,440 Speaker 1: it would not be It would not be hard as 57 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:21,640 Speaker 1: long as I could fly there. And let's be clear 58 00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:23,079 Speaker 1: when I say as long as I could fly there, 59 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:27,520 Speaker 1: as long as he's flying me there, I see. But yeah, 60 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:31,600 Speaker 1: but but but I want I want more than just dating. 61 00:03:31,680 --> 00:03:34,600 Speaker 1: So when you're asking me specifically, you know, I don't 62 00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,240 Speaker 1: want to just date a guy in Seattle, you know, 63 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,080 Speaker 1: and see him, you know, one weekend a month. That's 64 00:03:41,120 --> 00:03:45,280 Speaker 1: not what I'm looking for. I think it is. It's 65 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 1: more difficult. I got to tell you, though. I know 66 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:54,520 Speaker 1: a guy who said to me that if you're with 67 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 1: a guy, you know, if you're dating him or a 68 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:02,120 Speaker 1: serious relationship, you need to move where he is. He said, 69 00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 1: women need to move where the men, where the man 70 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:07,640 Speaker 1: is I don't know. I just tell you that's what 71 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:08,040 Speaker 1: he said. 72 00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:10,280 Speaker 3: Well, I don't think who has the better area. 73 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:15,280 Speaker 1: Well, I said to him similar. I said, well, wait 74 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 1: a minute. You know you've got a great job whatever 75 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:21,440 Speaker 1: you're doing, whatever he does. And I said, let's just 76 00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:25,080 Speaker 1: pretend I'm a trial attorney and I'm very successful and 77 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:29,880 Speaker 1: I'm only licensed in my state. You well, then he folded. 78 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,520 Speaker 1: Then he said, well, if that were the case, then 79 00:04:32,680 --> 00:04:35,240 Speaker 1: I would make it a priority to come to see you. 80 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,160 Speaker 1: And I said, okay, so I think it's more difficult. 81 00:04:39,240 --> 00:04:41,960 Speaker 1: I think you can date long distance, but if you're 82 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:46,479 Speaker 1: asking me specifically, I want to see a guy more often. 83 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:50,360 Speaker 1: So if I really like a guy, I'm going to go. 84 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:54,039 Speaker 3: I mean it would be important. I think it's easier, 85 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:57,960 Speaker 3: way easier to see each other, to have a relationship. 86 00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,280 Speaker 3: But like you said, it can be done. 87 00:05:00,640 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 1: Would you move, Susan, not generally, would you move to 88 00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:05,599 Speaker 1: be with the guy you're dating. 89 00:05:05,800 --> 00:05:08,159 Speaker 3: Yes, as long as I can come back and see 90 00:05:08,200 --> 00:05:09,800 Speaker 3: my family when I want. Yes. 91 00:05:10,279 --> 00:05:10,640 Speaker 2: Yeah. 92 00:05:10,720 --> 00:05:12,479 Speaker 1: I think at our age, you know, I think this 93 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:18,159 Speaker 1: is hard hard. I think it is difficult for people 94 00:05:19,120 --> 00:05:21,719 Speaker 1: who are younger. Maybe listening to our podcast and We're 95 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,880 Speaker 1: so glad you are. But at our age you have 96 00:05:24,920 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 1: to understand. 97 00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 3: That not all in the same city. Cap there's nobody 98 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:30,960 Speaker 3: left here. 99 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,280 Speaker 1: Well, that's for you. I have two children here and 100 00:05:34,279 --> 00:05:35,159 Speaker 1: two grandchildren. 101 00:05:35,200 --> 00:05:37,559 Speaker 3: Now I met men, it's a date. 102 00:05:37,960 --> 00:05:39,279 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, well there's that. 103 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,400 Speaker 3: We take them wherever we meet them. 104 00:05:41,560 --> 00:05:45,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm just saying, our life now is an adventure. 105 00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:48,640 Speaker 1: And if I meet a guy that I'm interested in, 106 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:50,919 Speaker 1: he's interested in me, and he says, hey, you know, 107 00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 1: make it, come on out here and spend a couple 108 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: of weeks in me, I'm gone. I'm going And if 109 00:05:56,080 --> 00:05:58,440 Speaker 1: that goes well, then I'm going to spend more time 110 00:05:58,480 --> 00:06:00,600 Speaker 1: out there, or he's going to come see me more. 111 00:06:00,640 --> 00:06:01,760 Speaker 2: You know, that's what I'm going to do. 112 00:06:02,120 --> 00:06:05,000 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's fine, but I said, the only thing is 113 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,640 Speaker 3: it's a little easier when they're local. But it's not 114 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:11,520 Speaker 3: an end all. You know, if they're not, you make it. 115 00:06:11,839 --> 00:06:13,520 Speaker 2: Could you do it? But wait? 116 00:06:13,839 --> 00:06:16,839 Speaker 1: How long could you date long distance? Because for me, 117 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,520 Speaker 1: there'd be an expiration. 118 00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:21,160 Speaker 3: Date before you moved in with one another, you mean. 119 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:25,440 Speaker 1: Before we committed to each other in a way that 120 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:29,760 Speaker 1: one of us we were either spending you know, much 121 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:32,440 Speaker 1: of the time together. It would depend on moved in, 122 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 1: who's retired and who's not. 123 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:38,280 Speaker 2: Well at our age typically. 124 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 3: Typically, but if you date younger, they're still working so well. 125 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 2: But see, that's really easy. 126 00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: If I were dating a younger man, which I'm happy 127 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:51,279 Speaker 1: to do, by the way, and he's working, I'm going 128 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:54,120 Speaker 1: there because I'm not working right right, that's a no 129 00:06:54,160 --> 00:06:55,240 Speaker 1: break or can work. 130 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,440 Speaker 3: Like I said, it's just easier if he's around here. 131 00:06:58,440 --> 00:06:59,760 Speaker 3: But it's not a deal breaker. 132 00:07:01,839 --> 00:07:04,560 Speaker 2: Just do you think it's harder for younger people. 133 00:07:06,440 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 3: Maybe because younger people have full time positions, you know, 134 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,760 Speaker 3: they have to be they can only do a weekend 135 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,520 Speaker 3: and if it's far, if it's on the other side 136 00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:19,720 Speaker 3: like California or wherever, that's a long flight to do 137 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:20,840 Speaker 3: for a weekend. 138 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, some of our younger Bachelor Nation couples, I look 139 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,040 Speaker 1: at them, one or both of them. 140 00:07:27,440 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 2: You know, they're influencers. They're not tied to a desk. 141 00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,119 Speaker 3: Or cat from home. 142 00:07:33,320 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: They can work from so they can travel around and 143 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:40,240 Speaker 1: do what they do. But I think for younger people 144 00:07:40,320 --> 00:07:43,120 Speaker 1: who are building a career, if they're not working remote, 145 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:44,360 Speaker 1: it's tough. 146 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 2: It is. So it's all this. 147 00:07:46,760 --> 00:07:48,880 Speaker 1: Conversation to say that you have found me the guy 148 00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:50,400 Speaker 1: that wants to date me long distance. 149 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:53,360 Speaker 3: Give me time, Kath, I'm working on. 150 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:55,440 Speaker 1: It, all right, all right, all right, we're going to 151 00:07:55,480 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: get into our fan questions here. 152 00:07:58,400 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 2: I'm going to read the first one. 153 00:07:59,560 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: Let's go, Kyla, writes Susan and Kathy, you seem like 154 00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:06,960 Speaker 1: so much fun and a friend that everyone. 155 00:08:06,680 --> 00:08:07,360 Speaker 2: Would like to have. 156 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 1: Well, thank you, Kyla, we are, but we want you 157 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:13,400 Speaker 1: to be our friend too. Kyla, Okay, if I ever 158 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:16,320 Speaker 1: had the opportunity to meet you, I would talk to 159 00:08:16,360 --> 00:08:19,600 Speaker 1: you about so many things. I guess my question would be, 160 00:08:20,040 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 1: how do I build strong connections and a community around 161 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:27,360 Speaker 1: me like you have with Kathy and the other relationships 162 00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:30,679 Speaker 1: you have built. Well, since she's directing it, you go, Susan, 163 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:31,320 Speaker 1: what are you okay? 164 00:08:31,320 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 3: Well, for starters, you need to be locked in a mansion, 165 00:08:37,720 --> 00:08:40,560 Speaker 3: no phones, weeks at a time with no phones and 166 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:43,120 Speaker 3: no contact with the outside world, and you get to 167 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 3: know each other. I think it's more difficult out in 168 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:51,319 Speaker 3: the real world. But you start with a friendship, somebody 169 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:54,720 Speaker 3: that you enjoy, their company, that makes you feel good 170 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,240 Speaker 3: to be around them, and you make them feel good. 171 00:08:57,280 --> 00:09:01,600 Speaker 3: Whether it's a joke or just being a positive person. 172 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 3: People like being around us. 173 00:09:04,720 --> 00:09:08,440 Speaker 1: I think, Susan, yes, but you and I also, you know, 174 00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:11,040 Speaker 1: everyone thinks we just laugh and giggle all the time, 175 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,760 Speaker 1: which we do, but both of us have our issues 176 00:09:14,080 --> 00:09:18,760 Speaker 1: with each other. Ride you know she does, I will say, 177 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:22,440 Speaker 1: and I'm there for her. But I will say I 178 00:09:22,520 --> 00:09:27,360 Speaker 1: think part of building a strong friendship is listening to 179 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:33,160 Speaker 1: the other person judging the other person, which something I've 180 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:36,480 Speaker 1: had to work on hard in my life. 181 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,200 Speaker 3: So how do you break the rules? And Kathy's not 182 00:09:40,440 --> 00:09:41,400 Speaker 3: a rule breaker? 183 00:09:44,320 --> 00:09:48,040 Speaker 1: Wait, excuse me, Bachelor Nation, Susan doesn't break the rules. 184 00:09:48,440 --> 00:09:56,080 Speaker 1: Susan shatters the rules and she leaves shattered glass everywhere 185 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:58,600 Speaker 1: she goes and people have to dodge. 186 00:09:59,240 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 3: You would like us. I hope you do get to 187 00:10:01,760 --> 00:10:04,320 Speaker 3: meet us someday because we're fun. We are, and we 188 00:10:04,400 --> 00:10:06,199 Speaker 3: have a serious side that we really do. 189 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 1: But I would say, Kyla, you know, in the activities 190 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:14,080 Speaker 1: that you're in, however, you meet people whoever it is right, 191 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:18,960 Speaker 1: the friends you have, spend the time listening to them, 192 00:10:19,200 --> 00:10:21,720 Speaker 1: asking them it's just like dating in a way. 193 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:24,720 Speaker 3: And don't asking them to do with you as well? 194 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, but asking them about themselves. It's like dating, right, 195 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:29,640 Speaker 1: find out about them. 196 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:32,760 Speaker 3: Ask too many questions, but be interested in what they come. 197 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:35,680 Speaker 1: I think people, yes, but I think people want to 198 00:10:35,720 --> 00:10:41,000 Speaker 1: feel heard and understood, and whether you're dating or a friend, 199 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:45,280 Speaker 1: and so you need to I mean, I everyone knows Kathy. 200 00:10:45,160 --> 00:10:48,960 Speaker 3: Assay, and some days I'll say, Kathy, no more questions, 201 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,560 Speaker 3: Let's just talk about life, right. 202 00:10:50,800 --> 00:10:52,960 Speaker 1: But I do ask a lot of questions because that's 203 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:58,040 Speaker 1: how I integrate whatever into my brain is by asking questions. 204 00:10:58,080 --> 00:11:01,200 Speaker 1: So I would encourage you, Kyla, the people that you're 205 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 1: friends with, spend time finding out what makes them tick 206 00:11:05,400 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 1: and what you guys have in common and what you 207 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,440 Speaker 1: don't have in common, because that's what builds friendships. Not 208 00:11:11,840 --> 00:11:14,160 Speaker 1: it's not you don't want to clone friendships. I'm going 209 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,760 Speaker 1: to be exactly like you. 210 00:11:15,800 --> 00:11:17,840 Speaker 3: No, no, And you want to do fun things together, 211 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:21,160 Speaker 3: things that make you smile. You know, maybe somebody likes 212 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:24,160 Speaker 3: comedy and you like comedy. You go or hear music, 213 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,200 Speaker 3: live music, It doesn't matter, but that's how you and 214 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:31,200 Speaker 3: then that person, when they enjoy your company, is going 215 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:34,000 Speaker 3: to tell the next person, right, you know what I mean? 216 00:11:34,120 --> 00:11:38,040 Speaker 1: Like that's and Kylie, if I'm being really honest. The 217 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,960 Speaker 1: reason Susan and I are such good friends. She does 218 00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:44,000 Speaker 1: a hell of a job cutting my hair and looking 219 00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:45,319 Speaker 1: for her and cooking. 220 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,120 Speaker 3: But here's babbling on bait cases. 221 00:11:48,800 --> 00:11:52,000 Speaker 1: What? All right, here's the deal. Her broken wrist is 222 00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:54,679 Speaker 1: really cramping my style right now, so I'm gonna have 223 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 1: to get my hair cut somewhere. 224 00:11:55,640 --> 00:11:57,080 Speaker 3: I got order out again. 225 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 2: Oh and that's just thank you. That's just business as 226 00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:04,559 Speaker 2: usual for me, all right. 227 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:08,360 Speaker 3: You know what, Just be you, be real, and people 228 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,280 Speaker 3: will know you're good people. 229 00:12:10,559 --> 00:12:18,679 Speaker 2: Yep, I agree. 230 00:12:19,240 --> 00:12:23,360 Speaker 3: Okay, Kathy, Ready for the next one. This one's from Michelle. Hi, 231 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,920 Speaker 3: Kathy and Susan. I so loved listening to you ladies 232 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,920 Speaker 3: on my way to work. My daughter is getting married 233 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:33,440 Speaker 3: this fall and we are all so excited. However, I 234 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:36,360 Speaker 3: am so stressed out on what to wear. I don't 235 00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:39,520 Speaker 3: even know where to start. I am sixty two and 236 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:42,280 Speaker 3: my younger years I could whip an outfit together and 237 00:12:42,360 --> 00:12:46,800 Speaker 3: feel fabulous, but not anymore. I don't want a typical 238 00:12:47,240 --> 00:12:50,000 Speaker 3: mother of the bride. Look, I don't blame you. My 239 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:53,120 Speaker 3: body has changed so much and just want to feel good. 240 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:56,760 Speaker 3: Where do I shop? This one probably is for Susan. 241 00:12:56,960 --> 00:13:00,000 Speaker 2: Loll excuse me or excuse me, Michelle. 242 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:03,079 Speaker 1: I would like to tell you exactly where to shop, 243 00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 1: but I'm going to defer to Susan. In Susan's closet 244 00:13:08,960 --> 00:13:12,120 Speaker 1: with the money for the Okay, wait, I think wait, 245 00:13:12,360 --> 00:13:15,560 Speaker 1: I actually can take a stab at this because she's 246 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:19,959 Speaker 1: more like me than you. Right, So Susan is a 247 00:13:19,960 --> 00:13:22,679 Speaker 1: great shopper, Michelle. But let me tell you Susan's how 248 00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:24,960 Speaker 1: and other Nancy, other people have helped me learn how 249 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,040 Speaker 1: to shop. Here's what. The first thing you do, you 250 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,760 Speaker 1: decide what styles. You're gonna be so proud of me, Susan. 251 00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:34,079 Speaker 1: You decide what looks good on you, what colors look 252 00:13:34,120 --> 00:13:37,960 Speaker 1: good on you, what styles and shapes you know, what 253 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:41,280 Speaker 1: what yeah of what colors, and what profile looks good 254 00:13:41,280 --> 00:13:41,680 Speaker 1: on you? 255 00:13:42,240 --> 00:13:43,240 Speaker 2: And you start with that. 256 00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:48,600 Speaker 1: Then get online and go to different department stores and 257 00:13:48,600 --> 00:13:52,800 Speaker 1: and just scroll looking at those profiles that you think look. 258 00:13:52,679 --> 00:13:53,040 Speaker 2: Good at. 259 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:57,760 Speaker 3: This is what I make her do. Sometimes I don't 260 00:13:57,760 --> 00:14:00,920 Speaker 3: like doing it. My God, I'll be here for for go. 261 00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:03,840 Speaker 2: I hate it. I hate it. I'm just trying to 262 00:14:03,840 --> 00:14:04,199 Speaker 2: hate it. 263 00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,120 Speaker 1: Because here's the thing, Michelle, I'm right with you, I 264 00:14:07,640 --> 00:14:10,440 Speaker 1: say to Susan all the time, I don't know what 265 00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:12,200 Speaker 1: looks good. I mean, I have to try it on, 266 00:14:12,600 --> 00:14:14,640 Speaker 1: like and Susan's. 267 00:14:14,200 --> 00:14:18,199 Speaker 3: Like, no, no, certain styles I already know. But you're 268 00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 3: You're right, Kathy. You do need to put something on 269 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:23,720 Speaker 3: something sometimes that you don't think is all that, and 270 00:14:23,760 --> 00:14:27,600 Speaker 3: you put it on it looks or quite the opposite. Wow, 271 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:29,640 Speaker 3: look at that, and you put it on the Oh, 272 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,440 Speaker 3: dear God, take it off. 273 00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:34,200 Speaker 1: Just take it off, get it off, Okay, So give 274 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 1: her some advice, because that's my advice is You've taught 275 00:14:36,960 --> 00:14:40,040 Speaker 1: me to go online look at profiles and styles and 276 00:14:40,080 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 1: colors that I like. And it's still hard, Michelle, because 277 00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:45,680 Speaker 1: you know then it's like do I order A four, 278 00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,880 Speaker 1: A six or an eight because I've worn all three 279 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 1: sizes And there's that issue too, And it. 280 00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 3: Depends on your body shape. What is going to look 281 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:55,920 Speaker 3: best on you. I mean, there are people out there 282 00:14:55,960 --> 00:15:00,720 Speaker 3: you could actually hire your stylist to dress WSMS. I 283 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,920 Speaker 3: know they always have stylists that you go ask the professional, 284 00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:07,800 Speaker 3: and so does Niman Marcus. But when I tell you 285 00:15:07,880 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 3: I can shop. 286 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,160 Speaker 2: This Targart, wait, just Target, Walmart. 287 00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,800 Speaker 3: And Nieman Marcus in the same day, it doesn't matter 288 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:16,360 Speaker 3: to me, and I'll wear both garments at the same 289 00:15:16,440 --> 00:15:19,960 Speaker 3: time and it looks fabulous together. So it's not only 290 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,240 Speaker 3: about how much you're spending. It's not. 291 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 2: Oh, it never is. 292 00:15:23,160 --> 00:15:26,240 Speaker 3: And in fact, Marshalls. You can find things in Marshalls. 293 00:15:26,240 --> 00:15:27,640 Speaker 3: Now not for a wedding. 294 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:31,120 Speaker 1: Maybe, yes you can, but I get overwhelmed. Here's the thing, 295 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:35,200 Speaker 1: Michelle and I totally get you. You get overwhelmed Susan. 296 00:15:35,680 --> 00:15:38,680 Speaker 1: I have shopped with Susan so many times. We'll walk 297 00:15:38,680 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 1: into a store. Susan is like a buzzard. She just 298 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,040 Speaker 1: go and tell you if she's said a turkey hawk 299 00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:49,520 Speaker 1: she sees and she just goes hoo and decides and 300 00:15:49,640 --> 00:15:50,880 Speaker 1: yanks stuff off the hanger. 301 00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:54,400 Speaker 3: I'm pathy or I'll say nope, not here, let's go. 302 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:55,320 Speaker 2: Yeah. 303 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,480 Speaker 1: But it's so it's difficult for people like us, Michelle, 304 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,440 Speaker 1: you and I. It doesn't come naturally to us. But 305 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:04,400 Speaker 1: you know I can go out and run six miles 306 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:06,200 Speaker 1: and Susan can't. So we all have our strying. 307 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 3: No, no, it's not that way, because she said back 308 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:10,720 Speaker 3: when she was younger, she could whip together an outfit 309 00:16:10,800 --> 00:16:14,480 Speaker 3: really easy. I also, like I never would want to 310 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 3: look like when you google mother of the bride. Oh, 311 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:22,160 Speaker 3: dear God. No, you can go to those dress stores 312 00:16:22,480 --> 00:16:26,280 Speaker 3: that are for proms and bob it's fuzz and you 313 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:30,080 Speaker 3: know whatever. They they have so many different styles and 314 00:16:30,200 --> 00:16:33,520 Speaker 3: that's the person you say. Okay, I am looking I 315 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:36,320 Speaker 3: am the mother of the bride. However, I don't want 316 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:38,480 Speaker 3: to look like the mother of the bride. I want 317 00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,840 Speaker 3: to beat good. I want to feel good and it 318 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:43,880 Speaker 3: will help you. Yeah, if not, I will write me 319 00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:44,800 Speaker 3: DM me. 320 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,680 Speaker 1: But I will say one other thing Susan has taught me, 321 00:16:47,760 --> 00:16:49,600 Speaker 1: which I hate trying on clothes. 322 00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:52,040 Speaker 2: I really do hate shopping. I hate cooking and shopping. 323 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:56,160 Speaker 1: I don't know what guy wouldn't want me anyway, Susan 324 00:16:56,200 --> 00:17:00,680 Speaker 1: has talked me into trying on things to you, even 325 00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:03,040 Speaker 1: if I don't think, like if I like the colors, 326 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,080 Speaker 1: something attracts me to it. But then I look at 327 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,640 Speaker 1: oh no, this one look good on me. Susan will 328 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:11,280 Speaker 1: always say try it, try it. And I have bought things. 329 00:17:11,640 --> 00:17:15,480 Speaker 1: One of the dresses I wore to a Bachelor Nation 330 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,440 Speaker 1: function actually. 331 00:17:17,440 --> 00:17:18,320 Speaker 3: The blackest shell. 332 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,000 Speaker 1: No, well that one too, but this was a sparkly 333 00:17:23,119 --> 00:17:26,399 Speaker 1: copper dress that I wouldn't have tried on in a 334 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:28,760 Speaker 1: month of Sundays, and Susan said, no, try it on, 335 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:31,080 Speaker 1: try to and I loved it and it looked great 336 00:17:31,119 --> 00:17:32,840 Speaker 1: on me, and I got so many compliments. 337 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,800 Speaker 2: So my mother said, you never know. 338 00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,639 Speaker 1: My other suggestion, Michelle is take your if you have 339 00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:42,080 Speaker 1: a daughter, I take my daughter sometimes with me, take 340 00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:45,359 Speaker 1: a friend and say, help me pick out some things 341 00:17:45,359 --> 00:17:48,240 Speaker 1: to try on because it can be very overwhelming. 342 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:50,199 Speaker 3: Or DM me, what state do you live in? 343 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:50,400 Speaker 2: Love? 344 00:17:50,520 --> 00:17:52,800 Speaker 1: Because I swear to God, Susan will shop for you. 345 00:17:52,960 --> 00:17:56,600 Speaker 1: She will do it. She with her broken wrist, she 346 00:17:56,640 --> 00:17:57,520 Speaker 1: will shop for you. 347 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:05,080 Speaker 3: I enjoy making people feel good about themselves. Say somebody's 348 00:18:05,119 --> 00:18:08,000 Speaker 3: really hippie, you know what I mean? Like wide on 349 00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:10,440 Speaker 3: the bottom, what is that a pear shape or something? 350 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:13,240 Speaker 3: Then you're not going to get something that's so fitted 351 00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:16,760 Speaker 3: on the bottom and makes your top look invisible. You 352 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 3: want something to compliment an accent your good parts. And 353 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:27,359 Speaker 3: you're right, Kathy. Sometimes color is an amazing, amazing change 354 00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:31,240 Speaker 3: in whatever it is. You feel good in it. 355 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:32,560 Speaker 2: But I don't know. I'm with you. 356 00:18:32,640 --> 00:18:35,080 Speaker 1: I'm with you, Michelle. It's brutal, but let us know. 357 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:39,520 Speaker 1: Send us pictures yes, and congratulations. By the way, I'm 358 00:18:39,520 --> 00:18:42,600 Speaker 1: the upcoming wedding of your daughter. All right, here's the 359 00:18:42,600 --> 00:18:46,680 Speaker 1: next one from m okay, which, by the way, if 360 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:49,320 Speaker 1: your name is Emily, my sister's name is Emily and 361 00:18:49,359 --> 00:18:51,120 Speaker 1: we called her m so I don't know. Maybe it's 362 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,360 Speaker 1: my sister writing this in Hi, Kathy and Susan, I 363 00:18:54,520 --> 00:18:59,160 Speaker 1: love your podcast and advice. I was curious how much 364 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:04,040 Speaker 1: of an age difference is too much. I am talking 365 00:19:04,040 --> 00:19:07,280 Speaker 1: to a guy who is twenty six and I am twenty. 366 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:11,959 Speaker 1: Obviously that can be two very different stages of life, 367 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:15,040 Speaker 1: although I live a life different from most twenty year 368 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:19,200 Speaker 1: olds and have finished college and work full time. WHOA 369 00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,520 Speaker 1: do you think this is an issue? Or could it 370 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,159 Speaker 1: work out? So far it has been going great, But 371 00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,639 Speaker 1: interested to see what you guys think. 372 00:19:28,160 --> 00:19:29,520 Speaker 3: Twenty and twenty six. 373 00:19:30,400 --> 00:19:34,040 Speaker 2: He's six years older than she is, so well. 374 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:38,800 Speaker 1: Men when sure way slower than women. I was married 375 00:19:38,840 --> 00:19:42,560 Speaker 1: at twenty Susan, so I can't even imagine. I would 376 00:19:42,600 --> 00:19:47,440 Speaker 1: say to you, am you seem perceptive that you realize 377 00:19:47,480 --> 00:19:49,919 Speaker 1: that you could be at two different stages of life, 378 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,439 Speaker 1: but you also seem responsible and mature because you have 379 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:56,600 Speaker 1: finished college and you work full time at twenty. Most 380 00:19:56,600 --> 00:19:59,719 Speaker 1: twenty year olds are getting drunk on six straight and 381 00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:03,119 Speaker 1: partying and hardy, So you know, you don't seem like 382 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:03,920 Speaker 1: a twenty year old. 383 00:20:04,119 --> 00:20:05,640 Speaker 3: I don't think it's a big deal at all. 384 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,320 Speaker 2: Well, I think she said, do you think this is 385 00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:08,920 Speaker 2: an issue? 386 00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:09,360 Speaker 3: Now? 387 00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,480 Speaker 2: It could be an issue and could it work out? 388 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:16,000 Speaker 1: Absolutely? The only way you're going to know is keep 389 00:20:16,080 --> 00:20:18,160 Speaker 1: dating them, see how it goes. 390 00:20:19,280 --> 00:20:23,159 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm wondering if she's wondering if he thinks 391 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,879 Speaker 3: twenty is too young, you know what I mean? And 392 00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,600 Speaker 3: I'm sharing that that could be, but I wouldn't. 393 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 2: I don't know. 394 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:32,879 Speaker 1: I think I think she's insecure. It says like has 395 00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:33,840 Speaker 1: been going great. 396 00:20:34,640 --> 00:20:39,439 Speaker 3: Keep saying going great. Who cares? It's a number, it's. 397 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:45,840 Speaker 2: What no number? Your lips to God's ears, It's a number. 398 00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 2: It can be a number and it can be real. 399 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:50,920 Speaker 3: I think that's fifty four and sixty eight. 400 00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,240 Speaker 2: I don't know. Would you date someone fifty four? 401 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:55,040 Speaker 3: Yes? I would? 402 00:20:55,400 --> 00:20:57,760 Speaker 2: Well, there you go, all right. 403 00:20:57,560 --> 00:21:01,639 Speaker 1: So it's I think it's it's individal if it's working them, 404 00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:04,240 Speaker 1: you know what, God bless you. I'm so happy you 405 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 1: found your guy, and maybe he's not your permit forever guy. 406 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,480 Speaker 2: Maybe he is. You're only going to know. 407 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:14,000 Speaker 3: That's a good point, Kathy, because you're twenty and he's 408 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:19,359 Speaker 3: twenty six. I don't want to say the odds because, 409 00:21:19,800 --> 00:21:21,560 Speaker 3: like you, you got married at twenty and had a 410 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 3: wonderful marriage. I don't know that it's a forever person, 411 00:21:26,680 --> 00:21:28,399 Speaker 3: you know what I mean at that age because you 412 00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:33,120 Speaker 3: change and you're maturing in your twenties and in your thirties, 413 00:21:33,119 --> 00:21:36,720 Speaker 3: you're a little more level headed or settled about what 414 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,920 Speaker 3: it is you want and what kind of life you 415 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:44,119 Speaker 3: want with your partner. So right, but I wouldn't change 416 00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:45,800 Speaker 3: a thing. Just see what happens. 417 00:21:46,200 --> 00:21:49,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you know what. Don't rush you down. 418 00:21:49,160 --> 00:21:53,480 Speaker 1: You're twenty. Enjoy the moment you're in, Enjoy the time 419 00:21:53,520 --> 00:21:54,480 Speaker 1: you guys have together. 420 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:55,440 Speaker 2: See where it goes. 421 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:57,919 Speaker 1: And by the way, you know at the top of 422 00:21:57,960 --> 00:22:00,439 Speaker 1: this podcast, am where we always say, right and let 423 00:22:00,560 --> 00:22:03,439 Speaker 1: us know we were talking to you and we're talking 424 00:22:03,480 --> 00:22:03,760 Speaker 1: to you. 425 00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 2: Let us know how it goes. 426 00:22:06,119 --> 00:22:08,800 Speaker 3: Thanks for sharing too, all right. The next one is 427 00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:12,919 Speaker 3: from Melissa Hi, Kathy and Susan. I loved the podcast 428 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:16,040 Speaker 3: and wanted some advice about a friend of mine. In 429 00:22:16,119 --> 00:22:19,480 Speaker 3: March of this year, me and my four best friends 430 00:22:19,800 --> 00:22:23,439 Speaker 3: planned a girl's trip to Miami for four days. We 431 00:22:23,560 --> 00:22:26,280 Speaker 3: paid for the flights and the air b and B 432 00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:29,679 Speaker 3: Already a couple of weeks after we planned the trip, 433 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:33,560 Speaker 3: one of my friends lost their mom suddenly. The four 434 00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:36,160 Speaker 3: of us have given her so much love and support 435 00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:40,359 Speaker 3: and are helping her get through this tough time. She 436 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,840 Speaker 3: recently brought up not wanting to go on the trip 437 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:47,199 Speaker 3: anymore because she doesn't want to burden us if she 438 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:52,639 Speaker 3: suddenly became sad and won't have a safe place to 439 00:22:52,800 --> 00:22:56,639 Speaker 3: go if we're out and about. I told her that 440 00:22:56,760 --> 00:22:59,520 Speaker 3: we would be there for her no matter what, but 441 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:03,560 Speaker 3: she budge and wants to be refunded for her part 442 00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:07,359 Speaker 3: of the airbnb. Should we try and help her come 443 00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:09,879 Speaker 3: on the girl's trip because it won't be the same 444 00:23:09,920 --> 00:23:14,080 Speaker 3: without her, or let her stay home and grieve her mom. 445 00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:18,920 Speaker 1: Can I say you don't get I love you, Melissa. 446 00:23:19,119 --> 00:23:21,880 Speaker 1: You sound like a wonderful group of ladies of girls. 447 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,880 Speaker 1: You don't get to let her do anything. I am 448 00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:30,320 Speaker 1: talking as a woman who grieved the loss of her husband. 449 00:23:30,400 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 1: I've lost my mom in the last year and a half. 450 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,600 Speaker 1: I lost my dad. You don't get to write the rules. 451 00:23:36,680 --> 00:23:37,120 Speaker 2: Melissa. 452 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:40,200 Speaker 1: I hate to tell you you have to let her 453 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:44,280 Speaker 1: grieve any way she wants. Do you have to refund 454 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:49,440 Speaker 1: the money? No? Is it the kind generous thing to do? Yeah, 455 00:23:50,080 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 1: all of you and your girlfriend should say to her, 456 00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:56,800 Speaker 1: you know what, we want you to come. We hope 457 00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:01,040 Speaker 1: you'll change your mind, but we will happily refund your money. 458 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:02,760 Speaker 1: But work on her to come. 459 00:24:03,200 --> 00:24:05,959 Speaker 3: But one of the things she says, I won't have 460 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,639 Speaker 3: a safe place to go if I become sad. What 461 00:24:08,760 --> 00:24:09,480 Speaker 3: does that mean? 462 00:24:09,720 --> 00:24:15,040 Speaker 1: It just means Susan grief is so it's not linear. 463 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:18,560 Speaker 1: You don't know when you're gonna feel grief. 464 00:24:18,520 --> 00:24:21,200 Speaker 2: How it's gonna be you. But well, that's what she's say. 465 00:24:21,880 --> 00:24:23,000 Speaker 3: Go back to the place. 466 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:26,200 Speaker 1: Maybe maybe she's a I don't know, we don't have 467 00:24:26,280 --> 00:24:30,040 Speaker 1: enough information. Maybe, but I know when my husband first died, 468 00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:34,679 Speaker 1: I would break down public in public places. I was embarrassed, 469 00:24:34,720 --> 00:24:35,720 Speaker 1: I felt. 470 00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:37,800 Speaker 3: And you know now, I, as your friend, if that happened, 471 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:40,159 Speaker 3: would leave the function and go be with you and 472 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:41,960 Speaker 3: talk it out, get it at let you. 473 00:24:42,119 --> 00:24:46,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I'm saying in the moment, in the moment, 474 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,440 Speaker 1: all you can think about is. I don't want other 475 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:52,240 Speaker 1: people to see it. It's my private grief. I mean, 476 00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:53,479 Speaker 1: that's how I felt. 477 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:53,840 Speaker 4: You know. 478 00:24:53,960 --> 00:24:56,800 Speaker 1: I can't speak for Melissa's friend, but I think in 479 00:24:56,840 --> 00:25:00,399 Speaker 1: this case you have to let her quote unk quote. 480 00:25:00,840 --> 00:25:03,159 Speaker 1: It is her life, it is her grief, it is 481 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:04,960 Speaker 1: her journey through this grief. 482 00:25:05,840 --> 00:25:09,360 Speaker 3: How long since? How long of us? 483 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,760 Speaker 1: She's just said lost their mom suddenly? So I'm guessing 484 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,119 Speaker 1: it's recent because they just planned the trip. 485 00:25:16,119 --> 00:25:19,120 Speaker 3: But I also agree with she says, should we try 486 00:25:19,119 --> 00:25:21,359 Speaker 3: and help her come on the girl's trip because it 487 00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,120 Speaker 3: won't be the same without her. I would share those 488 00:25:24,320 --> 00:25:27,879 Speaker 3: exact words, but we all care if you. If you 489 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 3: have a meltdown, we're here for you. Yes, you'll be 490 00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:33,800 Speaker 3: better in our company and cry it out. We're here 491 00:25:33,880 --> 00:25:36,639 Speaker 3: to hug you. It doesn't matter for us. We love you. 492 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:40,320 Speaker 1: Yes, But I one hundred percent agree with what you 493 00:25:40,400 --> 00:25:42,160 Speaker 1: just said, which is scary that I'm one hundred percent 494 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:42,719 Speaker 1: agree with you. 495 00:25:43,200 --> 00:25:44,040 Speaker 2: But it happens. 496 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,760 Speaker 1: Don't hold your breath. It's not happening again for the 497 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:50,240 Speaker 1: next ten minutes at least. But but do you agree 498 00:25:50,280 --> 00:25:54,280 Speaker 1: Susan that if that they have to, they have to 499 00:25:54,280 --> 00:25:58,840 Speaker 1: honor thought her journey through this grief is yes. But 500 00:25:58,840 --> 00:25:59,919 Speaker 1: but I'm with you, Susan. 501 00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,560 Speaker 3: I sometimes you might feel guilty, like, oh god, I 502 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,639 Speaker 3: don't want to ruin it. I'm just not happy. I 503 00:26:04,640 --> 00:26:07,240 Speaker 3: don't want to go, but sometimes it's the best thing 504 00:26:07,320 --> 00:26:07,680 Speaker 3: to do. 505 00:26:08,160 --> 00:26:11,199 Speaker 1: But I mean, I can tell you I couldn't function. 506 00:26:11,400 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 1: I couldn't go anywhere. I didn't want people to see me. 507 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:16,680 Speaker 1: I mean, I understand what she's saying. 508 00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:19,240 Speaker 3: When your husband died. You mean, oh my god, I 509 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:23,720 Speaker 3: can't imagine that. I couldn't and that's what happened. And yeah, 510 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:28,919 Speaker 3: I mean I couldn't. And I'm guessing this mom was 511 00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:32,320 Speaker 3: real to young My mom just passed away a year 512 00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:34,960 Speaker 3: and a half ago, who I loved with all my heart. 513 00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:38,800 Speaker 1: But she was ninety six. Not but and she was 514 00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:42,840 Speaker 1: ninety six. I'm guessing this young girl's trip. I'm guessing 515 00:26:42,880 --> 00:26:46,119 Speaker 1: this mom died suddenly at a younger age. And so 516 00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:50,400 Speaker 1: that is very not very if you're not prepared. So 517 00:26:54,240 --> 00:26:55,080 Speaker 1: you are a good friend. 518 00:26:55,160 --> 00:26:58,600 Speaker 3: Melissa's kind heart, but do try to encourage her, but 519 00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:02,160 Speaker 3: accept what she decides. And you know what, you guys 520 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:04,920 Speaker 3: have to cough up a little more money, Yeah exactly, 521 00:27:05,200 --> 00:27:09,679 Speaker 3: But you know what. Regardless of what happens Melissa, whether 522 00:27:09,720 --> 00:27:13,760 Speaker 3: she comes or not, go have a good time. Celebrate 523 00:27:13,800 --> 00:27:16,920 Speaker 3: your friendships because, as Susan and I can tell you, 524 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,760 Speaker 3: good friendships like that don't come at around that often. 525 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:23,440 Speaker 3: So you know, pray for your friend if she doesn't come, 526 00:27:23,480 --> 00:27:25,800 Speaker 3: but go and enjoy your telling me to friends, because 527 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:27,640 Speaker 3: that just doesn't come around that often. 528 00:27:27,720 --> 00:27:41,800 Speaker 4: No, doesn't appreciate it. Okay, Cathy, it's king, it's my favorite. 529 00:27:42,119 --> 00:27:44,320 Speaker 3: Oh God, would you rather? Here? 530 00:27:44,359 --> 00:27:44,679 Speaker 2: We go? 531 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:48,119 Speaker 3: We're gonna switch off reading the prompt and both say 532 00:27:48,359 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 3: which we'd rather do and why? Okay, I'm going to 533 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:58,080 Speaker 3: start with would you rather have a passionate once in 534 00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:05,240 Speaker 3: a lifetime romance that heartbreak or a steady loving partnership 535 00:28:05,400 --> 00:28:07,320 Speaker 3: that lacks excitement? 536 00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:09,480 Speaker 2: You answer that one. 537 00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,520 Speaker 1: I don't like the one that says lax excitement because 538 00:28:12,840 --> 00:28:13,359 Speaker 1: what does that mean? 539 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,280 Speaker 2: You're not jumping out an airplane? 540 00:28:15,359 --> 00:28:16,360 Speaker 3: You know, to choose? 541 00:28:16,560 --> 00:28:18,119 Speaker 2: I mean I don't want to choose. 542 00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:22,439 Speaker 1: Wait, Susan, we live in a democratic society. You and 543 00:28:22,480 --> 00:28:25,639 Speaker 1: I have free will. We don't have to we don't 544 00:28:25,760 --> 00:28:29,840 Speaker 1: have to pick. We can say we would rather have 545 00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:35,680 Speaker 1: a passionate once in a lifetime romance that last forever. 546 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:43,760 Speaker 3: And honestly a loving partnership. 547 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:46,880 Speaker 1: That Okay, wait, wait, I can make this work. Wait, Susan, 548 00:28:46,960 --> 00:28:50,680 Speaker 1: I can make this work. You and I. Here's how 549 00:28:50,720 --> 00:28:53,720 Speaker 1: it's going to work. You and I are each going 550 00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:59,200 Speaker 1: to find the man that we have a passionate once 551 00:28:59,240 --> 00:29:05,120 Speaker 1: in a lifetime romance that ends in heartbreak one day 552 00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,080 Speaker 1: before we die. 553 00:29:09,360 --> 00:29:12,720 Speaker 2: Done. Got that one figured out. Moving on there, we 554 00:29:12,800 --> 00:29:14,400 Speaker 2: go to the next one. 555 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:21,480 Speaker 1: Would you rather suddenly lose all your cherished memories but 556 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:26,720 Speaker 1: keep your personality intact? Or keep all your memories but 557 00:29:26,880 --> 00:29:29,560 Speaker 1: have your personality completely change? 558 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,960 Speaker 3: Oh that's a brainer. 559 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:33,040 Speaker 2: What's your answer? 560 00:29:33,440 --> 00:29:37,400 Speaker 3: I want my personality to stay just like it is. 561 00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:41,200 Speaker 1: Isn't that funny? I'm exactly the same. So you know 562 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:46,160 Speaker 1: all the fire I don't know, Jesus, I'm gonna have 563 00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:49,200 Speaker 1: to get some vodka out here or something. Wait, can 564 00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:52,400 Speaker 1: I just say, you know all the fires that were recently, 565 00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:57,800 Speaker 1: all the devastations in California that gave me Honestly, first 566 00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,760 Speaker 1: of all, my heart went out to all the people 567 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:05,040 Speaker 1: a I can't even imagine. But at a very superficial level, 568 00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 1: I sat there thinking, Kathy, will you take you know 569 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 1: what I thought I didn't care about. 570 00:30:11,640 --> 00:30:14,960 Speaker 2: Any of my stuff. Isn't that awful? 571 00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:18,520 Speaker 1: I just care about my kids. I would take my 572 00:30:18,600 --> 00:30:21,240 Speaker 1: passport like I would have. I have all those papers together, 573 00:30:21,560 --> 00:30:26,560 Speaker 1: but in terms of things, I just don't care. No, 574 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:28,000 Speaker 1: Just are you the same or no? 575 00:30:28,320 --> 00:30:30,320 Speaker 3: Yes, I would just be me. I mean I would 576 00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:34,640 Speaker 3: be devastated, of course, but I don't want to change 577 00:30:34,960 --> 00:30:42,520 Speaker 3: who I am. Yeah, all right. Would you rather relive 578 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:46,640 Speaker 3: your most embarrassing moment once a month for the rest 579 00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:50,920 Speaker 3: of your life or have a stranger randomly bring it 580 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:53,240 Speaker 3: up in conversation once a year. 581 00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:56,680 Speaker 1: Oh that's easy. I'd have a random stranger bringing up 582 00:30:56,720 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 1: in conversation once year. I'd be drunk or high, and 583 00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:02,480 Speaker 1: I wouldn't give a sh shimped what they said. Did 584 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:04,800 Speaker 1: That was easy? 585 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:06,400 Speaker 3: That was a real easy one. 586 00:31:06,960 --> 00:31:07,320 Speaker 2: All right? 587 00:31:07,560 --> 00:31:13,320 Speaker 3: Would you rather have all your text and emails from 588 00:31:13,360 --> 00:31:17,880 Speaker 3: the last twenty years leaked to the public or have 589 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:22,520 Speaker 3: every thought, have every thought you've ever had about others 590 00:31:22,600 --> 00:31:23,760 Speaker 3: spoken out loud? 591 00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:27,040 Speaker 2: You know what this question? I actually like. 592 00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:29,880 Speaker 3: I don't like this game. It's a new second no game. 593 00:31:30,040 --> 00:31:32,880 Speaker 1: No, well wait a minute, wait a minute, wait, there 594 00:31:32,960 --> 00:31:35,960 Speaker 1: is a lesson in this Please tell me what it is. 595 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:40,720 Speaker 1: Here's a lesson when and I taught. When I taught 596 00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,800 Speaker 1: eighth grade speech and communications, I taught the kids this, 597 00:31:44,760 --> 00:31:47,880 Speaker 1: you can say whatever you want to say when you 598 00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:52,640 Speaker 1: put something in writing on the internet, in a text, 599 00:31:52,760 --> 00:31:54,160 Speaker 1: an email, it. 600 00:31:54,120 --> 00:31:58,920 Speaker 2: Lives on there going to get this on in perpetuting. 601 00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 1: They were like, purple, what I said, it means it 602 00:32:01,760 --> 00:32:06,200 Speaker 1: lives forever. Someone always has access to that. So be 603 00:32:06,280 --> 00:32:09,120 Speaker 1: careful what you're right, Be careful what you say. So 604 00:32:09,280 --> 00:32:13,200 Speaker 1: in my case, I would rather have all my texts 605 00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:15,760 Speaker 1: and emails because I'm very careful about what I write. 606 00:32:15,840 --> 00:32:18,640 Speaker 3: And she's so perfect punctuations grammar. 607 00:32:18,760 --> 00:32:23,880 Speaker 2: I was an English Oh it drives me nuts. Once 608 00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:25,920 Speaker 2: an object, I think I would subject. 609 00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:28,040 Speaker 3: Agree with you because I don't think I send emails like. 610 00:32:31,440 --> 00:32:34,440 Speaker 1: Every thought I've ever had, weight every thought I've ever had. 611 00:32:35,040 --> 00:32:36,640 Speaker 1: I would be locked up. 612 00:32:37,880 --> 00:32:39,160 Speaker 3: Prison with no razors. 613 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:40,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, some warm hair. 614 00:32:42,400 --> 00:32:43,600 Speaker 3: And bushy eyebrows. 615 00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:47,600 Speaker 1: Oh god, Susan, you know that would be Susan in prison. 616 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:49,880 Speaker 1: Let me just say, Susan in prison would be saying 617 00:32:50,200 --> 00:32:52,400 Speaker 1: what day is the hair salon? What day do we 618 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:54,640 Speaker 1: get our hair done? I need my nails down and 619 00:32:54,680 --> 00:32:57,080 Speaker 1: broken nail what day is the nail is the nail 620 00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:00,280 Speaker 1: tech coming? And I'd be like, and you know, I'd 621 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:03,760 Speaker 1: be saying, can I please get out and run six miles? 622 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:09,520 Speaker 1: It's true, That's exactly how it would be, all right, Okay. 623 00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:14,160 Speaker 3: Would you rather discover that your entire family secretly hates 624 00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:18,640 Speaker 3: your parties or that they have a secret group chat 625 00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,880 Speaker 3: dedicated to discussing your love life? 626 00:33:22,440 --> 00:33:22,600 Speaker 2: Oh? 627 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:26,720 Speaker 1: That case it for me, My entire family, my parties 628 00:33:26,720 --> 00:33:27,720 Speaker 1: because I don't have them. 629 00:33:28,120 --> 00:33:30,880 Speaker 3: Don't come if you don't like them, don't be talking 630 00:33:30,920 --> 00:33:32,480 Speaker 3: about my love life. 631 00:33:33,240 --> 00:33:36,840 Speaker 1: Well, can I just tell you my kids have talked 632 00:33:36,840 --> 00:33:38,840 Speaker 1: about you when I have dated guys they have. 633 00:33:39,240 --> 00:33:42,480 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, my son's good on my cake? Seriously you 634 00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:45,800 Speaker 3: went out with him, Christopher. 635 00:33:48,040 --> 00:33:50,400 Speaker 1: We don't care. We're living our best life, all right. 636 00:33:51,240 --> 00:33:55,720 Speaker 1: Would you rather have your deepest Ooh? I like this one. 637 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,960 Speaker 1: Would you rather have your deepest secret turned into a 638 00:33:59,080 --> 00:34:03,240 Speaker 1: best selling novel that everyone knows is about you, or 639 00:34:03,320 --> 00:34:05,680 Speaker 1: have a terrible rumor about you spread that you can 640 00:34:05,720 --> 00:34:07,880 Speaker 1: never prove his faults. Oh, I want the book because 641 00:34:07,880 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 1: I'm doing the book. 642 00:34:08,640 --> 00:34:10,560 Speaker 2: Tour money on it. 643 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:13,960 Speaker 3: Embarrass me and bring it on it. 644 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:16,560 Speaker 2: No, I've asked the way. 645 00:34:17,360 --> 00:34:20,200 Speaker 1: Wait, can I just tell you I've often said this, 646 00:34:20,200 --> 00:34:23,040 Speaker 1: this is true, and they're all dead, so they can't 647 00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:25,640 Speaker 1: say so my mother, I can't. Grew up in a 648 00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:29,520 Speaker 1: very abusive family and my life was like mommy Daris 649 00:34:29,600 --> 00:34:32,759 Speaker 1: Joan Crawford story, truly that, and I remember I was like, 650 00:34:32,840 --> 00:34:35,279 Speaker 1: why can't like why does she get to make all 651 00:34:35,480 --> 00:34:36,759 Speaker 1: like I have the same life? 652 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:38,000 Speaker 2: Well, because I'm not famous. 653 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:42,719 Speaker 1: But okay, if anyone wants to write a story about me, 654 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:46,120 Speaker 1: I am in. I'll give you all the dirty details 655 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:48,880 Speaker 1: as long as I'm paid upfront for this story. 656 00:34:48,920 --> 00:34:51,040 Speaker 3: Bestsellers, best sellers, best sellers. 657 00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:53,360 Speaker 2: And then I want to made. I want to start 658 00:34:53,360 --> 00:34:57,000 Speaker 2: a day. I want to star in the movie season 659 00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:58,040 Speaker 2: that they make from the book. 660 00:35:00,400 --> 00:35:05,520 Speaker 3: I go, okay, would you rather find out your best 661 00:35:05,520 --> 00:35:09,399 Speaker 3: friend stole from you years ago and never told you, 662 00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:14,240 Speaker 3: or that they secretly sabotaged a relationship you had because 663 00:35:14,280 --> 00:35:15,840 Speaker 3: they didn't approve. 664 00:35:16,000 --> 00:35:17,120 Speaker 2: Oh that's easy for me. 665 00:35:17,600 --> 00:35:21,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, what is it if they stole something from me 666 00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:22,880 Speaker 1: that was ten dollars or less? 667 00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:28,440 Speaker 3: But there's no amount. I mean, I think I would 668 00:35:28,520 --> 00:35:31,360 Speaker 3: rather they stole than they ruined a relationship. 669 00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:35,920 Speaker 1: But see, I don't see I'm just thinking I'm too logical. 670 00:35:36,920 --> 00:35:39,920 Speaker 1: If the relationship were meant to be, they couldn't sabotage it. 671 00:35:41,600 --> 00:35:44,680 Speaker 3: Oh god, God, really just do the question like it is, like, 672 00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,320 Speaker 3: really pretend? Will you please? 673 00:35:48,080 --> 00:35:50,799 Speaker 1: You have to be say wait, wait, wait, Susan, could 674 00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:52,399 Speaker 1: I please have the relationship? 675 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:58,400 Speaker 2: Can the relationship? What cat? He's going to say, I 676 00:35:58,480 --> 00:36:00,680 Speaker 2: need the relationship to see what I want you to 677 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,880 Speaker 2: sabotage it. That's the answer to my question. 678 00:36:03,600 --> 00:36:06,560 Speaker 3: We're still in the book. We like the book and. 679 00:36:06,640 --> 00:36:10,600 Speaker 1: The movie the bestseller, and and we want we want royalties. 680 00:36:11,320 --> 00:36:13,560 Speaker 1: Oh my god, a whole new life, Susan for us, 681 00:36:13,680 --> 00:36:15,920 Speaker 1: our life story. Who wants to write it? 682 00:36:16,040 --> 00:36:18,680 Speaker 3: This has absolutely been a trip today. I hope you 683 00:36:18,680 --> 00:36:21,239 Speaker 3: guys enjoyed it like we didn't. And maybe you could 684 00:36:21,400 --> 00:36:23,920 Speaker 3: answer some of those questions that we just asked, right 685 00:36:24,080 --> 00:36:25,560 Speaker 3: sin and let us know what. 686 00:36:25,760 --> 00:36:27,880 Speaker 2: Your answer because they were hard. 687 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:33,279 Speaker 1: And while you're answering those questions, please follow us on 688 00:36:33,360 --> 00:36:38,080 Speaker 1: that Bachelor happy hour because you know what, we do 689 00:36:38,239 --> 00:36:41,440 Speaker 1: this all the time. Weeks on end. We have new 690 00:36:41,480 --> 00:36:44,279 Speaker 1: episodes coming. You don't want to miss them. You you 691 00:36:44,400 --> 00:36:46,880 Speaker 1: learn little things about us, little tidbits about it. 692 00:36:47,480 --> 00:36:50,400 Speaker 3: But my curiosity is up. I want to know what 693 00:36:50,480 --> 00:36:54,080 Speaker 3: other people how they would answer that question. I'm curious. 694 00:36:55,000 --> 00:36:58,800 Speaker 3: I'm curious any of those questions we just said. Anytime 695 00:36:58,880 --> 00:37:00,560 Speaker 3: I want to know what people say, write us in. 696 00:37:01,160 --> 00:37:03,279 Speaker 3: You know how to do it. You just got to 697 00:37:03,320 --> 00:37:07,279 Speaker 3: submit your questions or your answers to those questions or 698 00:37:07,400 --> 00:37:09,480 Speaker 3: your comments, and all you have to do is go 699 00:37:09,520 --> 00:37:13,279 Speaker 3: to bachelornation dot com slash Golden Hour and you know 700 00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:16,439 Speaker 3: the new on dm us on Instagram at Bachelor Happy Hour. 701 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:19,360 Speaker 1: Okay, it's time for us to go. I have to 702 00:37:19,400 --> 00:37:22,120 Speaker 1: go meet with an agent about my best selling novel 703 00:37:22,160 --> 00:37:23,920 Speaker 1: that it's about to come out about my life. 704 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:27,080 Speaker 2: I'm getting my tune, my comment owns for the movie. 705 00:37:28,360 --> 00:37:30,279 Speaker 2: It's all going to happen in the meeting. 706 00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:33,719 Speaker 1: Again, listen to Bachelor Happy Hours Golden Hour on the 707 00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:35,919 Speaker 1: iHeartRadio app or wherever you. 708 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:38,520 Speaker 2: Listen to podcasts. Everybody, have a great week. Yeah,