WEBVTT - Can A Woman Raise A Man 0:00:00.800 --> 0:00:05.760 When I right, y'all, I'm across the USC Compton Mottes 0:00:06.360 --> 0:00:10.720 Bake to l A from on the California the Valley. 0:00:11.280 --> 0:00:14.320 We represent that Kelly County. So if you're keeping it 0:00:14.400 --> 0:00:17.119 reil on your side of your town, you tune into 0:00:17.200 --> 0:00:22.880 Gangster Chronicles. Chronic goals are gonna tell you how we go. 0:00:24.040 --> 0:00:26.440 If I line my nose will girl like Pinocchio. We're 0:00:26.440 --> 0:00:30.400 gonna tell you the chousing, nothing but the truth the chronicals. 0:00:30.680 --> 0:00:34.600 This is not your average show. You're now tuned into 0:00:34.640 --> 0:00:37.960 the Rail m c A, Big James and Bix Fields 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:48.519 the Streets. Hello, welcome to the Gangster Chronicles podcast, the 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:51.640 production of My Heart Radio and Black Effect Podcast Network. 0:00:52.000 --> 0:00:54.360 Make sure you download the I Heart Happen. Subscribe to 0:00:54.360 --> 0:00:57.080 the Gangster Chronicles for my Apple users, hit the Purple 0:00:57.160 --> 0:00:59.600 Michael your front screen, Subscribe to the Gainst Chronicles and 0:00:59.680 --> 0:01:02.440 leave a start rating a comment. So when we at 0:01:02.480 --> 0:01:06.160 the school, we just left out the six hundred young men. 0:01:06.840 --> 0:01:11.679 At least five of them their fathers wasn't in their lives. 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:15.919 So watch so let me tell you where that comes from. 0:01:16.000 --> 0:01:18.720 That comes from a guy that's broken and he don't 0:01:18.760 --> 0:01:21.039 really know how to treat women. And then it comes 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:23.479 from a woman who was broken and her father wasn't 0:01:23.480 --> 0:01:26.400 in her life, and so she thinks he cute and 0:01:26.440 --> 0:01:29.360 he thinks she cute, and then they get together and 0:01:29.360 --> 0:01:33.319 watch this. She end up pregnant and he not ready 0:01:33.360 --> 0:01:36.600 to be no father nor husband, so he like, oh, man, 0:01:36.959 --> 0:01:39.600 now they got baby, Mama drama. Now she raised a 0:01:39.720 --> 0:01:42.600 young boy or a young girl and the father ain't there. 0:01:43.360 --> 0:01:45.959 And then when they grow up, the young boy don't 0:01:46.000 --> 0:01:47.960 really know how to be a man because his father 0:01:48.120 --> 0:01:50.480 wasn't in his life. Or if it's a young girl, 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:52.640 she don't know the value that she has because her 0:01:52.680 --> 0:01:54.640 father wasn't in her life. And as soon as you 0:01:54.760 --> 0:01:57.480 meet a young guy, and as soon as he meet 0:01:57.640 --> 0:01:59.760 a cute little girl, they get together and the cycle 0:01:59.840 --> 0:02:02.680 cause tinues. So I want you to know that's why 0:02:02.680 --> 0:02:05.080 I took you there, because I just left the high 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:09.080 school with six hundred young African American men, and over 0:02:09.240 --> 0:02:11.840 five hundred of them their fathers are not in their lives. 0:02:11.880 --> 0:02:15.240 That's the problem. That's why I came to see us. 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:17.680 You to tell you, when you meet this, I know 0:02:17.760 --> 0:02:20.400 she cute, but you gotta ask yourself, are you willing 0:02:20.440 --> 0:02:22.400 to take care of the child. Are you ready to 0:02:22.400 --> 0:02:24.799 put a ring on it? Is she wife of material? 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:27.680 Like do you even know anything about her family? But 0:02:27.760 --> 0:02:29.760 you were holding and you sleep for her, and now 0:02:29.800 --> 0:02:33.480 you help adding to the system. So I'm asking myself, 0:02:33.639 --> 0:02:36.880 where are those five hundred fathers? Are they dead? Are 0:02:36.919 --> 0:02:39.519 they in prison? Did they get married somewhere else? And 0:02:39.560 --> 0:02:42.920 Mayor knows that, Like where are they? I'm looking at 0:02:43.040 --> 0:02:45.200 five hundred young brothers that don't have a dad in 0:02:45.200 --> 0:02:48.560 their life. That's a problem, and I want the mission 0:02:48.600 --> 0:02:52.040 to help reverse that curse. You know what I'm saying, Like, 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:54.760 we gotta make the necessary precautions so we not have 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:58.200 it here having kids just running around like listen, God, 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:02.880 it's levels to it and it breaks my heart. I'd 0:03:02.919 --> 0:03:04.799 be going to school's girls become enough to me talking 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:07.200 about my dad. It's not in my life and why 0:03:07.280 --> 0:03:08.959 don't he love me? And she crying in my chest? 0:03:09.000 --> 0:03:12.240 And I ain't gonn front. I pissed. I'm like, where buddy, 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:14.840 and he probably somewhere. Think he's smooth, Think he cute 0:03:15.040 --> 0:03:17.480 somewhere on Instagram, Snapchat, Like you know what I'm saying, 0:03:17.560 --> 0:03:20.000 kicking it. But his daughter got her face buried in 0:03:20.080 --> 0:03:24.040 my chest. She's crying. That's the problem. So I'm excited 0:03:24.080 --> 0:03:27.040 to feel honored to stand before so many young men. 0:03:28.040 --> 0:03:30.480 You gotta ask yourself, are you ready to really be men? 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:33.800 Or do you want to just be adult males? There's 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:37.080 a difference. How are you gonna be men of honor, 0:03:38.200 --> 0:03:42.640 men of valor, men of substance, men of integrity, men 0:03:42.680 --> 0:03:47.120 that have responsibilities, men of leadership that people look at 0:03:47.160 --> 0:03:49.160 you and you can be trusted to lead them and 0:03:49.200 --> 0:03:51.640 guide them in the right direction. That type of men, 0:03:52.160 --> 0:03:54.480 men that have been trusted with influence. You know what 0:03:54.520 --> 0:03:55.960 I'm saying. But you say, you know, since I got 0:03:56.040 --> 0:03:58.440 this number on my chest, since I got this number 0:03:58.440 --> 0:04:00.600 on my back, since I got this ball in my hand, 0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:02.640 you know what people look up to me. I'm a 0:04:02.800 --> 0:04:06.880 role model. It starts now, But you gotta start asking 0:04:06.880 --> 0:04:08.360 me or something like, yo, how do I get to 0:04:08.360 --> 0:04:10.680 that point to why I even want to desire that? 0:04:12.680 --> 0:04:16.000 What's happening? What's happening? Was happening like it? Welcome you 0:04:16.080 --> 0:04:20.560 to another episode of the Gangster Chronicles podcast. Now, my 0:04:20.600 --> 0:04:23.600 man James just taking care of some relione and a 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:26.400 to be on in the minute. But I got some 0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:29.479 special home girls in the house with me tonight. I 0:04:29.560 --> 0:04:35.120 got rid in Britain from the Cousins podcast, the Home Girls. 0:04:36.320 --> 0:04:38.800 So when I reached out to you guys the other 0:04:38.880 --> 0:04:41.679 day or you girls, you girls, you women the other day, 0:04:43.040 --> 0:04:45.720 I was having a conversation with one of my partners then, 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:49.200 and he suffers from what I like to call toxic masculinity. Right, 0:04:49.200 --> 0:04:51.680 he thinks the man is supposed to do everything, is 0:04:51.800 --> 0:04:53.320 you know, the woman's supposed to stay at home, in 0:04:53.360 --> 0:04:56.040 the house and do everything. And then he told me 0:04:56.080 --> 0:05:03.240 that women are incapable of praising a male a wrong man. Um. 0:05:03.279 --> 0:05:05.400 I got some of his points, but I disagreed with 0:05:05.480 --> 0:05:08.400 him on a lot of points too, And so that's 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:11.040 why I wanted to get you two in here as mothers. 0:05:11.560 --> 0:05:16.960 You know, two mothers, right, two mothers, two mothers and 0:05:18.040 --> 0:05:21.720 two black women. And it was normally in our culture 0:05:21.800 --> 0:05:25.839 you do normally see the woman raising the sun kids 0:05:25.880 --> 0:05:28.520 body self, doing everything on their own, even if the 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:31.240 father was involved. But once that father used to leaves 0:05:31.279 --> 0:05:34.920 the house, everything is on a woman. M They don't 0:05:34.920 --> 0:05:38.760 have to be I mean, I I have a son 0:05:39.120 --> 0:05:42.600 and so his father, me and his father broke up, um, 0:05:42.680 --> 0:05:47.200 and he was like two. But I never felt like 0:05:47.480 --> 0:05:52.200 I could write like like that. I didn't have him 0:05:52.240 --> 0:05:54.280 to be his dad, like to raise him, like even 0:05:54.320 --> 0:05:56.320 though he wasn't in the home like he was there 0:05:56.960 --> 0:06:00.280 and now because I included him in a lot of things. 0:06:00.360 --> 0:06:03.280 You know, I'm a single mom, like I had to 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:07.960 do it. Um. I do have my son is twenty 0:06:08.360 --> 0:06:14.000 and um, but I did have certain males in his life. 0:06:14.000 --> 0:06:17.320 Felt it wasn't just me per se, but the majority 0:06:17.360 --> 0:06:19.279 of the time it was me, Like he's in the 0:06:19.279 --> 0:06:22.600 household with me. But I mean I mean like my 0:06:22.800 --> 0:06:25.839 brother or you know what I mean, like his big 0:06:25.880 --> 0:06:28.279 cousin or something like that. Like they would step in 0:06:28.560 --> 0:06:34.720 where there were where I couldn't know what I'm saying exactly. 0:06:35.240 --> 0:06:40.960 That's big, you know, because some people don't have that, right, No, 0:06:41.120 --> 0:06:44.120 a lot of people don't have it. Um. You know. 0:06:44.240 --> 0:06:47.440 My thing is, it's always it's hard anyway when you 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:50.039 had that separation, right because now you're living in two 0:06:50.040 --> 0:06:53.520 different houses and one of you, one of the parents, 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:55.920 is gonna be there with that boy full time. And 0:06:55.920 --> 0:06:58.640 it usually don't start into those little dudes turned around 0:06:58.720 --> 0:07:01.880 twelve eleven and twelve, they started getting tall, they started 0:07:01.880 --> 0:07:07.159 getting bigger, and they started talking back. Did y'all Did 0:07:07.240 --> 0:07:09.920 y'all ever have any difficulty? Because I know I always 0:07:09.920 --> 0:07:12.040 had a male figure. Even though my Pops wasn't in 0:07:12.040 --> 0:07:14.480 the house with me, he was around and I would 0:07:14.520 --> 0:07:16.960 go see him on you know, every other weekend or whenever, 0:07:17.000 --> 0:07:18.880 you know, whenever he wanted to come. Whenever I wanted 0:07:18.880 --> 0:07:21.640 to go out, I could. But for the most part, 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:24.160 all the discipline was going on with my step pops. 0:07:24.200 --> 0:07:26.040 He was way different than my daddy. When I want 0:07:26.080 --> 0:07:28.480 my daddy, I was able to pretty much do what 0:07:28.520 --> 0:07:30.320 I wanted to because he was out there. He wasn't 0:07:30.360 --> 0:07:32.240 trying to discipliney when I was out there. My dad 0:07:32.280 --> 0:07:34.640 was more like a big own boy anything else. It 0:07:34.760 --> 0:07:36.640 wasn't no discipline going on. If I wanted to drink 0:07:36.640 --> 0:07:38.680 a beer, I could. If I wanted to stay out 0:07:38.760 --> 0:07:40.320 two or three in the morning, I could. I was 0:07:40.360 --> 0:07:45.120 doing everything because he didn't have that disciplinary and type 0:07:45.120 --> 0:07:46.680 of thing going on. He was just so happy to 0:07:46.680 --> 0:07:48.000 be able to kick it with me. He was letting 0:07:48.000 --> 0:07:51.040 me do whatever I wanted to. Now, back at home, 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:52.680 I had to be in the house at a certain time, 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:55.280 I was getting the mask, wepons and everything else when 0:07:55.280 --> 0:07:58.440 I got his line with y'all. So you would say 0:07:58.520 --> 0:08:00.160 he was necessary to have a man in the house. Well, 0:08:01.400 --> 0:08:06.400 my son's father, and mean, we we broke up, we separated, so, um, 0:08:06.440 --> 0:08:10.360 he was with me. But up until he was I mean, 0:08:10.400 --> 0:08:12.600 he was all he was. His dad was always around. 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:17.040 But yeah, when he turned about fifteen, he went to 0:08:17.080 --> 0:08:20.320 go stay with his dad in the same city, same school. 0:08:20.880 --> 0:08:23.800 You know, his dad actually moved up to the city 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:25.960 where we were because we lived in the valley. He 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:28.200 lived in l A. And we just always had this 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:30.200 thing where it was like, Okay, when he gets to 0:08:30.720 --> 0:08:33.520 junior high, he's gonna come and be with you, because 0:08:33.520 --> 0:08:37.120 I just I felt like what you said, like you know, 0:08:37.200 --> 0:08:39.960 they're gonna puff up. It's just things as a woman 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:43.240 like I just can't teach him or show him or 0:08:43.679 --> 0:08:48.800 even you know, get him to understand. At the same time, 0:08:48.840 --> 0:08:55.079 I think that um him, if he would have had 0:08:55.080 --> 0:08:59.400 the same type of emotional intelligence that that I like, 0:08:59.440 --> 0:09:02.280 if I would have raised him with my emotional intelligence 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:07.200 versus him seeing when his dad handles things, you know, 0:09:08.000 --> 0:09:12.680 a little bit more logical not to say that, you know, 0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:16.520 but where women were more emotional. So I think that 0:09:16.520 --> 0:09:19.320 that plays a big role, you know, in how he 0:09:19.440 --> 0:09:22.920 handles things in life. And sometimes I don't get it. Still, 0:09:22.960 --> 0:09:27.160 I'm like, what you know? So, yeah, I think it's 0:09:27.160 --> 0:09:31.320 important to have a male figure, to have somebody there 0:09:31.960 --> 0:09:36.880 life full time. I think it's important. Yeah, it was 0:09:37.000 --> 0:09:40.040 very important, though I don't think, like I'm gonna talk 0:09:40.040 --> 0:09:43.280 about my mom's for a minute. My mom's with lady 0:09:43.320 --> 0:09:46.120 hands down. My mom said nasty hand game. So if 0:09:46.160 --> 0:09:47.719 I got the line, she would just punch me in 0:09:47.760 --> 0:09:50.840 the mouth. She wasn't playing around, right, But it was 0:09:51.000 --> 0:09:53.960 when at a certain point that wasn't going for that. 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:57.719 No more so was sher single mother. You know what, 0:09:57.880 --> 0:09:59.640 I had my step pops in the house and now 0:09:59.760 --> 0:10:02.199 uncle around, so they did most of the discipline and 0:10:02.240 --> 0:10:04.160 stuff because I did. If you know, I think every 0:10:04.200 --> 0:10:06.120 boy has a tendency when they get to a certain 0:10:06.200 --> 0:10:08.680 age to swell up a little bit because my mama's. 0:10:08.679 --> 0:10:11.199 A big thing would be you can wash dishes, you know, 0:10:11.240 --> 0:10:12.880 you can wake up in the morning and Saturday in 0:10:12.880 --> 0:10:14.800 the morning and clean up your room. You had shots 0:10:14.840 --> 0:10:16.360 to do. I would have to cook for my brothers 0:10:16.360 --> 0:10:20.079 and everything's left a while. Especially when I was around 0:10:20.120 --> 0:10:24.840 my little homies, I wasn't having that. I just wasn't 0:10:24.840 --> 0:10:26.560 having And I don't think I was a bad shout 0:10:26.559 --> 0:10:30.200 with I just think men in particular, when a boy 0:10:30.240 --> 0:10:32.960 is four team, he's a man for all practical purposes, 0:10:34.040 --> 0:10:37.480 he's usually figuring physically stronger than his mama. So if 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:40.160 he decides to just nut up in there, what does 0:10:40.200 --> 0:10:44.280 the woman go do? What can she do? And like 0:10:44.920 --> 0:10:47.560 bread it is, you know you have brothers around, you 0:10:47.679 --> 0:10:49.880 had other males around because it dude, take us. I'm 0:10:49.920 --> 0:10:52.480 gonna tell you, I got two sons and I had 0:10:52.520 --> 0:10:54.400 to beat both of the asses at one time. They 0:10:54.480 --> 0:10:56.719 wasn't bad kids, but they I've had to funk them 0:10:56.760 --> 0:10:58.600 up a couple of times just to show them, like 0:10:58.679 --> 0:11:01.720 you you can't make this team. But luckily I haven't 0:11:01.760 --> 0:11:05.160 had to do that. You know what I'm saying, Um, 0:11:05.360 --> 0:11:10.360 my kids, pretty Um he's pretty you know, he's pretty chill, 0:11:10.840 --> 0:11:14.360 like my My main thing with with him for me 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:19.080 is I wanted him to experience life and stuff like 0:11:19.160 --> 0:11:21.440 that and like get like be outside a little bit 0:11:21.520 --> 0:11:24.120 more like he you know, he's more like he'll he 0:11:24.240 --> 0:11:27.520 built his own computer, like he's more into like reading 0:11:27.600 --> 0:11:29.920 and stuff like that, Like he don't really give a 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:31.440 damn by a whole lot of stuff. He just really 0:11:31.440 --> 0:11:33.560 got on social media, like he's happy that he got 0:11:33.559 --> 0:11:36.240 his twitch and now he's got stuff streaming and stuff 0:11:36.280 --> 0:11:40.160 like that. But honestly, my son is not really out 0:11:40.160 --> 0:11:43.280 there like that. So I really haven't had that issued out. 0:11:43.320 --> 0:11:45.720 I've been around like friends that have do have sons 0:11:45.720 --> 0:11:47.800 and they tell me this ship and not be like, damn, 0:11:47.840 --> 0:11:49.800 I don't know how I will react because I haven't 0:11:50.280 --> 0:11:53.320 had that for me. It's pretty much just trying to. 0:11:53.440 --> 0:11:55.320 I really just want to make sure that he's straight 0:11:55.360 --> 0:11:57.360 and he knows what he needs to do, you know 0:11:57.400 --> 0:11:59.320 what I mean. If I ever was to not be here, 0:11:59.400 --> 0:12:01.640 like I want him to be able to be you 0:12:01.679 --> 0:12:04.200 know what I mean, just responsible and just do the 0:12:04.240 --> 0:12:06.559 things that he needs to do. But it's hard because 0:12:06.600 --> 0:12:08.679 I can't really say, like everything needs to do as 0:12:08.679 --> 0:12:11.000 a man, you know what I'm saying. I can't say 0:12:11.040 --> 0:12:13.040 that you feel me like I could tell him what 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:15.880 I think. I look, you know what I mean, But 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:19.000 I can't really genuinely say like something you need to 0:12:19.000 --> 0:12:21.040 do this. I could tell him what I like or 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:24.120 what you know. I know other women or girls like 0:12:24.320 --> 0:12:27.000 or whatever, but no, we as a man, how do 0:12:27.040 --> 0:12:29.960 you do that? You know, see both of y'all these 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:32.800 cool moms, and you had a cool son, and every 0:12:32.880 --> 0:12:35.920 kid is different. Like my oldest son. I only had 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:37.960 to do that to him one time. I've never had 0:12:38.000 --> 0:12:40.320 to walk my oldest son. He was always good, never 0:12:40.360 --> 0:12:43.480 told lives my other one. It's like he came out 0:12:43.559 --> 0:12:47.440 the wound rage to rags Hill. You feel what I'm saying. 0:12:47.440 --> 0:12:49.640 He was just a free spirit just from the time 0:12:49.679 --> 0:12:52.160 he could walk. He was always into some ships. So 0:12:52.720 --> 0:12:55.080 I definitely would say that my wife could have raised 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:57.760 him on her own because he was just too just them. 0:12:57.800 --> 0:12:59.480 I'm trying to look for the right word for because 0:12:59.480 --> 0:13:03.080 he wouldn't have kids, always had good grades, always was 0:13:03.200 --> 0:13:05.840 still an athlete, always did everything he was supposed to do. 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:09.040 But he was just very independent, had his mind made up. 0:13:09.040 --> 0:13:10.719 I'm gonna do what the funk I want to do. 0:13:11.800 --> 0:13:14.800 Nobody's gonna stuck. I got a house full right now. 0:13:14.960 --> 0:13:21.040 So how old are your children? My son is eighteen, 0:13:21.760 --> 0:13:26.200 oh right, but half the football team is always here, 0:13:26.440 --> 0:13:29.760 so I've always got at least six or seven boys 0:13:29.840 --> 0:13:35.960 in the house every day. It's been like that. But um, 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:39.160 I've had kids like that since I've been coaching football 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:43.200 for the last thirteen years. So I've got kids around 0:13:43.280 --> 0:13:47.440 here who I've been around since stay where eleven twelve 0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:53.200 years old? So I'm kind of YouTube. Uh. You know 0:13:53.840 --> 0:13:56.720 a lot of kids, you know, some kids who dads 0:13:56.720 --> 0:13:59.920 are not around. I deal with a lot of those, 0:14:00.440 --> 0:14:04.960 so they're usually at my almost every day. But you know, um, 0:14:06.280 --> 0:14:11.360 differently than what you were saying. Still, you get to 0:14:11.440 --> 0:14:17.000 a point sometimes I guess when us us um, when 0:14:17.000 --> 0:14:19.560 we are growing up. I, like you said, we turned 0:14:19.560 --> 0:14:24.880 fourteen fifteen, Uh, we get that courage. I guess what 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:29.080 do you want to say? Talk back ship? Uh? I 0:14:29.120 --> 0:14:34.240 was raised in the household, single parent household. Um, but 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:39.360 my parents got divorced. Father worked at General Motors. Uh. 0:14:39.560 --> 0:14:43.960 Mother was a registered you know, certified nurse and assistant. 0:14:44.760 --> 0:14:50.400 So um we had the house you know, mother, father 0:14:50.680 --> 0:14:55.960 keeping me and my sister. But we witnessed a lot 0:14:56.040 --> 0:15:04.120 of domestic violence in my household. Yeah. Um, so my 0:15:04.200 --> 0:15:09.400 mom was one of those who you know, maybe once, 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:14.920 maybe twice, three times nigger No, So she left my pulse. 0:15:15.800 --> 0:15:20.920 So my scenery changed, you know. It uh went from 0:15:21.000 --> 0:15:25.360 the dad mom in the household to the single mom 0:15:25.480 --> 0:15:31.360 moving to the what you call a ghetto, you know. Uh, 0:15:31.360 --> 0:15:35.480 we left South Gates, it moved, and I had to move, 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:37.880 as maybe about a four or five year old kid. 0:15:38.120 --> 0:15:42.680 We moved to Compton and the rest was history. My 0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:48.880 father wasn't around, you know, MS typical as a lot 0:15:48.920 --> 0:15:54.680 of kids in mine, drug abuse, you know, domestic violence 0:15:54.680 --> 0:15:59.000 in the house. I was a seventies kid, so, um, 0:15:59.040 --> 0:16:02.120 I saw a lot of at So I was practically 0:16:02.200 --> 0:16:07.600 raised by my mom's But I gotta ask whoopings with switches? 0:16:07.760 --> 0:16:12.280 My mom was from Gulfport, Mississippi, so I got a 0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:18.640 lot of that South treatment, you know. Um, I was 0:16:18.680 --> 0:16:21.800 scared of my mom's growing up. You know, I didn't 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:24.960 want to do ship to out of line because I 0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:29.400 knew getting out of line sid She went outside and 0:16:29.440 --> 0:16:31.640 got a switch off the tree and usual to get 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:36.400 your ass with. So how do you think that affects 0:16:36.440 --> 0:16:43.840 your relationship with women now? Like now? I I never 0:16:43.920 --> 0:16:48.240 had a horrible relationships with women. I was I've never 0:16:48.320 --> 0:16:53.640 been physical with women, you know. Um, I think that 0:16:53.840 --> 0:16:58.960 just came from um watching what happened in my household 0:16:59.120 --> 0:17:02.440 as far as my dad and mom was concerned. So 0:17:04.200 --> 0:17:07.439 even though I went through the transitions of of gang 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:11.199 banging and selling dope and all of that, and I 0:17:11.280 --> 0:17:13.960 never used to what they could. I never hit on women. 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:16.960 I never used to beat on female. Are you whatever? 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:20.400 All that ship, But I don't know, it was never 0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:24.560 my forete because, like I said, growing up in the 0:17:24.680 --> 0:17:29.360 household with mom's and my sister, you know, but then 0:17:29.480 --> 0:17:35.119 I still had unties around and you know, heavy in 0:17:35.200 --> 0:17:38.040 the church. You know, we had to go to Sunday 0:17:38.080 --> 0:17:41.720 school and all that type of ship. So I think 0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:44.320 it kind of put me on the path to where 0:17:45.119 --> 0:17:48.160 I wanted to be a straight kid. Like you said, 0:17:48.400 --> 0:17:52.520 you know your sons, they we have different choices nowadays. 0:17:53.680 --> 0:17:57.119 I didn't really have too many choices. You know. Father 0:17:57.359 --> 0:18:01.720 was gone, Mom struggled, she worked at I got influenced 0:18:01.760 --> 0:18:06.080 by the streets at an early age because my mom's 0:18:06.119 --> 0:18:09.000 worked from eleven o'clock at night to seven o'clock in 0:18:09.040 --> 0:18:12.679 the morning. So I was left to the streets, you know, 0:18:12.840 --> 0:18:16.800 me and my older sister. Um. So it wasn't the 0:18:16.840 --> 0:18:21.320 fact that my mom's couldn't raise me or didn't teach 0:18:21.400 --> 0:18:26.399 me values because uh, that's why you know, I didn't 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:31.199 go to the extreme as far as the ship I 0:18:31.280 --> 0:18:34.040 got into, because I always used to think in the 0:18:34.080 --> 0:18:37.400 back of my head, my mom's gonna fuck me up 0:18:37.480 --> 0:18:40.399 if I get caught or you know. So you know, 0:18:40.760 --> 0:18:43.960 I started gang banging and doing all that ship. And 0:18:44.040 --> 0:18:48.080 it wasn't necessarily because you know, you hear the stories 0:18:48.160 --> 0:18:52.359 of your my mom was on dope, my father was gone, 0:18:52.560 --> 0:18:57.240 I had no I basically just I started gang banging 0:18:57.280 --> 0:19:03.360 and ship as the rebellion of feeling like, you know, 0:19:03.560 --> 0:19:10.320 it's just what niggas did in my neighborhood and growing up. Um, 0:19:10.359 --> 0:19:13.560 And then I guess because I didn't have a father around, 0:19:14.119 --> 0:19:18.119 I started like still saying getting that little you know, 0:19:18.920 --> 0:19:24.840 because father wasn't around. And you know, fifteen sixteen, I'm 0:19:24.880 --> 0:19:28.960 seeing dudes slang dope and gang bang. So that gave 0:19:29.040 --> 0:19:33.119 me a little you know, it gave me a little 0:19:33.200 --> 0:19:37.320 attitude is to where, um, you know, if my mom's 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:41.040 would tell me something, you know, Uh, I don't think 0:19:41.080 --> 0:19:44.120 I ever got out of line or cuss my mom 0:19:44.119 --> 0:19:48.200 out or talk ship like that. I just was influenced 0:19:48.200 --> 0:19:51.040 by the streets. Now, if my father was around who knows. 0:19:52.200 --> 0:19:54.960 But my mom tried to do everything that a father 0:19:55.080 --> 0:19:59.000 would do. Uh. She put me in sports when she could. 0:19:59.560 --> 0:20:05.359 You know, she always participated at school and ship like that. Um, 0:20:05.440 --> 0:20:08.040 she sent us to a private school. You know, me 0:20:08.119 --> 0:20:12.119 and my sister So and we lived in one of 0:20:12.119 --> 0:20:16.320 the baddest parts of Compton. But you know, so your 0:20:16.600 --> 0:20:18.760 figures was from the street or that you didn't have. 0:20:19.240 --> 0:20:23.880 I didn't have no we I didn't have like, um, 0:20:23.920 --> 0:20:28.280 all the family who had transitioned from Mississippi to here, 0:20:28.920 --> 0:20:33.600 they were all females. There weren't There weren't no males here. 0:20:33.800 --> 0:20:38.000 There were no uncles or big brothers or you know, 0:20:38.280 --> 0:20:41.240 I didn't have none of that. All my all my 0:20:41.440 --> 0:20:46.600 family were women, my aunties. I had like four aunties 0:20:46.680 --> 0:20:53.320 who transitioned from Mississippi to California. So and they whole family. 0:20:53.359 --> 0:20:56.359 It was like what seven eight girls and one boy. 0:20:56.840 --> 0:21:01.320 So I didn't have uncles and fluent said. My influences 0:21:01.359 --> 0:21:05.720 came from when moms went to work. You know, the 0:21:06.680 --> 0:21:10.400 sister boyfriend come over, he from so and so. He's 0:21:10.440 --> 0:21:13.199 selling dope. He won't he won't when you walked to 0:21:13.280 --> 0:21:17.119 the store down the street, sniggers on the corner banging 0:21:17.200 --> 0:21:20.840 and slanging, and you know, hey, hang with us, my 0:21:20.920 --> 0:21:23.359 little nigga, Hey come to the store with us, my 0:21:23.440 --> 0:21:27.280 little I didn't have no male figure who was like, 0:21:28.600 --> 0:21:31.919 don't do that, you know. And my mom's because she 0:21:32.080 --> 0:21:34.840 was so busy with trying to raise us and pay 0:21:34.920 --> 0:21:39.600 the bills. She next she didn't if you the asked her, 0:21:39.840 --> 0:21:42.720 oh no, my son, don't gang bang. Oh no, my son, 0:21:42.880 --> 0:21:47.919 don't you know? Because at home, I still was the 0:21:47.960 --> 0:21:52.560 disciplined kid. I wasn't the outrageous kid when I came 0:21:52.600 --> 0:21:56.080 off the block. You know. I'd go around the house, 0:21:56.520 --> 0:21:59.399 tucked the gun, tucked the dope, and then come in 0:21:59.480 --> 0:22:03.600 the house and be yes, ma'am, no, ma'am, you get me. 0:22:03.920 --> 0:22:07.320 I never was like, oh man, fuck this ship Monty 0:22:07.359 --> 0:22:11.040 wool up until I guess when you're a middle child, 0:22:11.880 --> 0:22:14.760 you start feeling a little you know, my sister was 0:22:14.800 --> 0:22:18.800 older then my mom's had a young another child, so 0:22:19.119 --> 0:22:23.240 I started feeling that middle child ship. You know, he 0:22:23.480 --> 0:22:27.439 getting she getting shipped. So that's what led me to 0:22:27.440 --> 0:22:30.040 start gang banging and ship because I don't know, I 0:22:30.080 --> 0:22:33.400 was just trying to be rebellious. But I never felt 0:22:33.520 --> 0:22:41.439 like my mom's did a bad job or like she 0:22:41.520 --> 0:22:45.119 didn't raise me right, you get me, because if anything, 0:22:45.320 --> 0:22:49.679 she tried to instill a lot of ship in me 0:22:49.960 --> 0:22:52.840 to where I would grow up and be a righteous 0:22:52.880 --> 0:22:56.359 you know, man, human being or whatever. But it was 0:22:56.440 --> 0:23:00.119 just those. It was just those, like I guess, is 0:23:00.160 --> 0:23:02.439 what you call the obstacles that you would have to 0:23:02.480 --> 0:23:05.000 go through it sometimes as a young man, that you 0:23:05.080 --> 0:23:07.800 have to figure out. And that's what I did in 0:23:07.880 --> 0:23:12.840 those transitions of of from from sixteen seventeen of eighteen, 0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:15.800 trying to find the identity of who I was gonna 0:23:15.840 --> 0:23:20.640 be because around me it was nothing but gang bangers 0:23:20.640 --> 0:23:25.919 and dope dealers. You know. Um, I lost the interest 0:23:26.280 --> 0:23:32.359 of being. Uh, you know what my mom tried to 0:23:32.560 --> 0:23:35.680 instill in me, and I guess that that comes from 0:23:35.720 --> 0:23:37.440 And I don't know if that would have happened if 0:23:37.440 --> 0:23:40.480 my father was in the house, you get me. I mean, 0:23:40.520 --> 0:23:43.400 does that does that affect your relationship with other men? 0:23:43.680 --> 0:23:47.600