Speaker 1: When I right, y'all, I'm across the USC Compton Mottes
Speaker 1: Bake to l A from on the California the Valley.
Speaker 1: We represent that Kelly County. So if you're keeping it
Speaker 1: reil on your side of your town, you tune into
Speaker 1: Gangster Chronicles. Chronic goals are gonna tell you how we go.
Speaker 1: If I line my nose will girl like Pinocchio. We're
Speaker 1: gonna tell you the chousing, nothing but the truth the chronicals.
Speaker 1: This is not your average show. You're now tuned into
Speaker 1: the Rail m c A, Big James and Bix Fields
Speaker 1: the Streets. Hello, welcome to the Gangster Chronicles podcast, the
Speaker 1: production of My Heart Radio and Black Effect Podcast Network.
Speaker 1: Make sure you download the I Heart Happen. Subscribe to
Speaker 1: the Gangster Chronicles for my Apple users, hit the Purple
Speaker 1: Michael your front screen, Subscribe to the Gainst Chronicles and
Speaker 1: leave a start rating a comment. So when we at
Speaker 1: the school, we just left out the six hundred young men.
Speaker 1: At least five of them their fathers wasn't in their lives.
Speaker 1: So watch so let me tell you where that comes from.
Speaker 1: That comes from a guy that's broken and he don't
Speaker 1: really know how to treat women. And then it comes
Speaker 1: from a woman who was broken and her father wasn't
Speaker 1: in her life, and so she thinks he cute and
Speaker 1: he thinks she cute, and then they get together and
Speaker 1: watch this. She end up pregnant and he not ready
Speaker 1: to be no father nor husband, so he like, oh, man,
Speaker 1: now they got baby, Mama drama. Now she raised a
Speaker 1: young boy or a young girl and the father ain't there.
Speaker 1: And then when they grow up, the young boy don't
Speaker 1: really know how to be a man because his father
Speaker 1: wasn't in his life. Or if it's a young girl,
Speaker 1: she don't know the value that she has because her
Speaker 1: father wasn't in her life. And as soon as you
Speaker 1: meet a young guy, and as soon as he meet
Speaker 1: a cute little girl, they get together and the cycle
Speaker 1: cause tinues. So I want you to know that's why
Speaker 1: I took you there, because I just left the high
Speaker 1: school with six hundred young African American men, and over
Speaker 1: five hundred of them their fathers are not in their lives.
Speaker 1: That's the problem. That's why I came to see us.
Speaker 1: You to tell you, when you meet this, I know
Speaker 1: she cute, but you gotta ask yourself, are you willing
Speaker 1: to take care of the child. Are you ready to
Speaker 1: put a ring on it? Is she wife of material?
Speaker 1: Like do you even know anything about her family? But
Speaker 1: you were holding and you sleep for her, and now
Speaker 1: you help adding to the system. So I'm asking myself,
Speaker 1: where are those five hundred fathers? Are they dead? Are
Speaker 1: they in prison? Did they get married somewhere else? And
Speaker 1: Mayor knows that, Like where are they? I'm looking at
Speaker 1: five hundred young brothers that don't have a dad in
Speaker 1: their life. That's a problem, and I want the mission
Speaker 1: to help reverse that curse. You know what I'm saying, Like,
Speaker 1: we gotta make the necessary precautions so we not have
Speaker 1: it here having kids just running around like listen, God,
Speaker 1: it's levels to it and it breaks my heart. I'd
Speaker 1: be going to school's girls become enough to me talking
Speaker 1: about my dad. It's not in my life and why
Speaker 1: don't he love me? And she crying in my chest?
Speaker 1: And I ain't gonn front. I pissed. I'm like, where buddy,
Speaker 1: and he probably somewhere. Think he's smooth, Think he cute
Speaker 1: somewhere on Instagram, Snapchat, Like you know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: kicking it. But his daughter got her face buried in
Speaker 1: my chest. She's crying. That's the problem. So I'm excited
Speaker 1: to feel honored to stand before so many young men.
Speaker 1: You gotta ask yourself, are you ready to really be men?
Speaker 1: Or do you want to just be adult males? There's
Speaker 1: a difference. How are you gonna be men of honor,
Speaker 1: men of valor, men of substance, men of integrity, men
Speaker 1: that have responsibilities, men of leadership that people look at
Speaker 1: you and you can be trusted to lead them and
Speaker 1: guide them in the right direction. That type of men,
Speaker 1: men that have been trusted with influence. You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. But you say, you know, since I got
Speaker 1: this number on my chest, since I got this number
Speaker 1: on my back, since I got this ball in my hand,
Speaker 1: you know what people look up to me. I'm a
Speaker 1: role model. It starts now, But you gotta start asking
Speaker 1: me or something like, yo, how do I get to
Speaker 1: that point to why I even want to desire that?
Speaker 1: What's happening? What's happening? Was happening like it? Welcome you
Speaker 1: to another episode of the Gangster Chronicles podcast. Now, my
Speaker 1: man James just taking care of some relione and a
Speaker 1: to be on in the minute. But I got some
Speaker 1: special home girls in the house with me tonight. I
Speaker 1: got rid in Britain from the Cousins podcast, the Home Girls.
Speaker 1: So when I reached out to you guys the other
Speaker 1: day or you girls, you girls, you women the other day,
Speaker 1: I was having a conversation with one of my partners then,
Speaker 1: and he suffers from what I like to call toxic masculinity. Right,
Speaker 1: he thinks the man is supposed to do everything, is
Speaker 1: you know, the woman's supposed to stay at home, in
Speaker 1: the house and do everything. And then he told me
Speaker 1: that women are incapable of praising a male a wrong man. Um.
Speaker 1: I got some of his points, but I disagreed with
Speaker 1: him on a lot of points too, And so that's
Speaker 1: why I wanted to get you two in here as mothers.
Speaker 1: You know, two mothers, right, two mothers, two mothers and
Speaker 1: two black women. And it was normally in our culture
Speaker 1: you do normally see the woman raising the sun kids
Speaker 1: body self, doing everything on their own, even if the
Speaker 1: father was involved. But once that father used to leaves
Speaker 1: the house, everything is on a woman. M They don't
Speaker 1: have to be I mean, I I have a son
Speaker 1: and so his father, me and his father broke up, um,
Speaker 1: and he was like two. But I never felt like
Speaker 1: I could write like like that. I didn't have him
Speaker 1: to be his dad, like to raise him, like even
Speaker 1: though he wasn't in the home like he was there
Speaker 1: and now because I included him in a lot of things.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm a single mom, like I had to
Speaker 1: do it. Um. I do have my son is twenty
Speaker 1: and um, but I did have certain males in his life.
Speaker 1: Felt it wasn't just me per se, but the majority
Speaker 1: of the time it was me, Like he's in the
Speaker 1: household with me. But I mean I mean like my
Speaker 1: brother or you know what I mean, like his big
Speaker 1: cousin or something like that. Like they would step in
Speaker 1: where there were where I couldn't know what I'm saying exactly.
Speaker 1: That's big, you know, because some people don't have that, right, No,
Speaker 1: a lot of people don't have it. Um. You know.
Speaker 1: My thing is, it's always it's hard anyway when you
Speaker 1: had that separation, right because now you're living in two
Speaker 1: different houses and one of you, one of the parents,
Speaker 1: is gonna be there with that boy full time. And
Speaker 1: it usually don't start into those little dudes turned around
Speaker 1: twelve eleven and twelve, they started getting tall, they started
Speaker 1: getting bigger, and they started talking back. Did y'all Did
Speaker 1: y'all ever have any difficulty? Because I know I always
Speaker 1: had a male figure. Even though my Pops wasn't in
Speaker 1: the house with me, he was around and I would
Speaker 1: go see him on you know, every other weekend or whenever,
Speaker 1: you know, whenever he wanted to come. Whenever I wanted
Speaker 1: to go out, I could. But for the most part,
Speaker 1: all the discipline was going on with my step pops.
Speaker 1: He was way different than my daddy. When I want
Speaker 1: my daddy, I was able to pretty much do what
Speaker 1: I wanted to because he was out there. He wasn't
Speaker 1: trying to discipliney when I was out there. My dad
Speaker 1: was more like a big own boy anything else. It
Speaker 1: wasn't no discipline going on. If I wanted to drink
Speaker 1: a beer, I could. If I wanted to stay out
Speaker 1: two or three in the morning, I could. I was
Speaker 1: doing everything because he didn't have that disciplinary and type
Speaker 1: of thing going on. He was just so happy to
Speaker 1: be able to kick it with me. He was letting
Speaker 1: me do whatever I wanted to. Now, back at home,
Speaker 1: I had to be in the house at a certain time,
Speaker 1: I was getting the mask, wepons and everything else when
Speaker 1: I got his line with y'all. So you would say
Speaker 1: he was necessary to have a man in the house. Well,
Speaker 1: my son's father, and mean, we we broke up, we separated, so, um,
Speaker 1: he was with me. But up until he was I mean,
Speaker 1: he was all he was. His dad was always around.
Speaker 1: But yeah, when he turned about fifteen, he went to
Speaker 1: go stay with his dad in the same city, same school.
Speaker 1: You know, his dad actually moved up to the city
Speaker 1: where we were because we lived in the valley. He
Speaker 1: lived in l A. And we just always had this
Speaker 1: thing where it was like, Okay, when he gets to
Speaker 1: junior high, he's gonna come and be with you, because
Speaker 1: I just I felt like what you said, like you know,
Speaker 1: they're gonna puff up. It's just things as a woman
Speaker 1: like I just can't teach him or show him or
Speaker 1: even you know, get him to understand. At the same time,
Speaker 1: I think that um him, if he would have had
Speaker 1: the same type of emotional intelligence that that I like,
Speaker 1: if I would have raised him with my emotional intelligence
Speaker 1: versus him seeing when his dad handles things, you know,
Speaker 1: a little bit more logical not to say that, you know,
Speaker 1: but where women were more emotional. So I think that
Speaker 1: that plays a big role, you know, in how he
Speaker 1: handles things in life. And sometimes I don't get it. Still,
Speaker 1: I'm like, what you know? So, yeah, I think it's
Speaker 1: important to have a male figure, to have somebody there
Speaker 1: life full time. I think it's important. Yeah, it was
Speaker 1: very important, though I don't think, like I'm gonna talk
Speaker 1: about my mom's for a minute. My mom's with lady
Speaker 1: hands down. My mom said nasty hand game. So if
Speaker 1: I got the line, she would just punch me in
Speaker 1: the mouth. She wasn't playing around, right, But it was
Speaker 1: when at a certain point that wasn't going for that.
Speaker 1: No more so was sher single mother. You know what,
Speaker 1: I had my step pops in the house and now
Speaker 1: uncle around, so they did most of the discipline and
Speaker 1: stuff because I did. If you know, I think every
Speaker 1: boy has a tendency when they get to a certain
Speaker 1: age to swell up a little bit because my mama's.
Speaker 1: A big thing would be you can wash dishes, you know,
Speaker 1: you can wake up in the morning and Saturday in
Speaker 1: the morning and clean up your room. You had shots
Speaker 1: to do. I would have to cook for my brothers
Speaker 1: and everything's left a while. Especially when I was around
Speaker 1: my little homies, I wasn't having that. I just wasn't
Speaker 1: having And I don't think I was a bad shout
Speaker 1: with I just think men in particular, when a boy
Speaker 1: is four team, he's a man for all practical purposes,
Speaker 1: he's usually figuring physically stronger than his mama. So if
Speaker 1: he decides to just nut up in there, what does
Speaker 1: the woman go do? What can she do? And like
Speaker 1: bread it is, you know you have brothers around, you
Speaker 1: had other males around because it dude, take us. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell you, I got two sons and I had
Speaker 1: to beat both of the asses at one time. They
Speaker 1: wasn't bad kids, but they I've had to funk them
Speaker 1: up a couple of times just to show them, like
Speaker 1: you you can't make this team. But luckily I haven't
Speaker 1: had to do that. You know what I'm saying, Um,
Speaker 1: my kids, pretty Um he's pretty you know, he's pretty chill,
Speaker 1: like my My main thing with with him for me
Speaker 1: is I wanted him to experience life and stuff like
Speaker 1: that and like get like be outside a little bit
Speaker 1: more like he you know, he's more like he'll he
Speaker 1: built his own computer, like he's more into like reading
Speaker 1: and stuff like that, Like he don't really give a
Speaker 1: damn by a whole lot of stuff. He just really
Speaker 1: got on social media, like he's happy that he got
Speaker 1: his twitch and now he's got stuff streaming and stuff
Speaker 1: like that. But honestly, my son is not really out
Speaker 1: there like that. So I really haven't had that issued out.
Speaker 1: I've been around like friends that have do have sons
Speaker 1: and they tell me this ship and not be like, damn,
Speaker 1: I don't know how I will react because I haven't
Speaker 1: had that for me. It's pretty much just trying to.
Speaker 1: I really just want to make sure that he's straight
Speaker 1: and he knows what he needs to do, you know
Speaker 1: what I mean. If I ever was to not be here,
Speaker 1: like I want him to be able to be you
Speaker 1: know what I mean, just responsible and just do the
Speaker 1: things that he needs to do. But it's hard because
Speaker 1: I can't really say, like everything needs to do as
Speaker 1: a man, you know what I'm saying. I can't say
Speaker 1: that you feel me like I could tell him what
Speaker 1: I think. I look, you know what I mean, But
Speaker 1: I can't really genuinely say like something you need to
Speaker 1: do this. I could tell him what I like or
Speaker 1: what you know. I know other women or girls like
Speaker 1: or whatever, but no, we as a man, how do
Speaker 1: you do that? You know, see both of y'all these
Speaker 1: cool moms, and you had a cool son, and every
Speaker 1: kid is different. Like my oldest son. I only had
Speaker 1: to do that to him one time. I've never had
Speaker 1: to walk my oldest son. He was always good, never
Speaker 1: told lives my other one. It's like he came out
Speaker 1: the wound rage to rags Hill. You feel what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: He was just a free spirit just from the time
Speaker 1: he could walk. He was always into some ships. So
Speaker 1: I definitely would say that my wife could have raised
Speaker 1: him on her own because he was just too just them.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to look for the right word for because
Speaker 1: he wouldn't have kids, always had good grades, always was
Speaker 1: still an athlete, always did everything he was supposed to do.
Speaker 1: But he was just very independent, had his mind made up.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do what the funk I want to do.
Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna stuck. I got a house full right now.
Speaker 1: So how old are your children? My son is eighteen,
Speaker 1: oh right, but half the football team is always here,
Speaker 1: so I've always got at least six or seven boys
Speaker 1: in the house every day. It's been like that. But um,
Speaker 1: I've had kids like that since I've been coaching football
Speaker 1: for the last thirteen years. So I've got kids around
Speaker 1: here who I've been around since stay where eleven twelve
Speaker 1: years old? So I'm kind of YouTube. Uh. You know
Speaker 1: a lot of kids, you know, some kids who dads
Speaker 1: are not around. I deal with a lot of those,
Speaker 1: so they're usually at my almost every day. But you know, um,
Speaker 1: differently than what you were saying. Still, you get to
Speaker 1: a point sometimes I guess when us us um, when
Speaker 1: we are growing up. I, like you said, we turned
Speaker 1: fourteen fifteen, Uh, we get that courage. I guess what
Speaker 1: do you want to say? Talk back ship? Uh? I
Speaker 1: was raised in the household, single parent household. Um, but
Speaker 1: my parents got divorced. Father worked at General Motors. Uh.
Speaker 1: Mother was a registered you know, certified nurse and assistant.
Speaker 1: So um we had the house you know, mother, father
Speaker 1: keeping me and my sister. But we witnessed a lot
Speaker 1: of domestic violence in my household. Yeah. Um, so my
Speaker 1: mom was one of those who you know, maybe once,
Speaker 1: maybe twice, three times nigger No, So she left my pulse.
Speaker 1: So my scenery changed, you know. It uh went from
Speaker 1: the dad mom in the household to the single mom
Speaker 1: moving to the what you call a ghetto, you know. Uh,
Speaker 1: we left South Gates, it moved, and I had to move,
Speaker 1: as maybe about a four or five year old kid.
Speaker 1: We moved to Compton and the rest was history. My
Speaker 1: father wasn't around, you know, MS typical as a lot
Speaker 1: of kids in mine, drug abuse, you know, domestic violence
Speaker 1: in the house. I was a seventies kid, so, um,
Speaker 1: I saw a lot of at So I was practically
Speaker 1: raised by my mom's But I gotta ask whoopings with switches?
Speaker 1: My mom was from Gulfport, Mississippi, so I got a
Speaker 1: lot of that South treatment, you know. Um, I was
Speaker 1: scared of my mom's growing up. You know, I didn't
Speaker 1: want to do ship to out of line because I
Speaker 1: knew getting out of line sid She went outside and
Speaker 1: got a switch off the tree and usual to get
Speaker 1: your ass with. So how do you think that affects
Speaker 1: your relationship with women now? Like now? I I never
Speaker 1: had a horrible relationships with women. I was I've never
Speaker 1: been physical with women, you know. Um, I think that
Speaker 1: just came from um watching what happened in my household
Speaker 1: as far as my dad and mom was concerned. So
Speaker 1: even though I went through the transitions of of gang
Speaker 1: banging and selling dope and all of that, and I
Speaker 1: never used to what they could. I never hit on women.
Speaker 1: I never used to beat on female. Are you whatever?
Speaker 1: All that ship, But I don't know, it was never
Speaker 1: my forete because, like I said, growing up in the
Speaker 1: household with mom's and my sister, you know, but then
Speaker 1: I still had unties around and you know, heavy in
Speaker 1: the church. You know, we had to go to Sunday
Speaker 1: school and all that type of ship. So I think
Speaker 1: it kind of put me on the path to where
Speaker 1: I wanted to be a straight kid. Like you said,
Speaker 1: you know your sons, they we have different choices nowadays.
Speaker 1: I didn't really have too many choices. You know. Father
Speaker 1: was gone, Mom struggled, she worked at I got influenced
Speaker 1: by the streets at an early age because my mom's
Speaker 1: worked from eleven o'clock at night to seven o'clock in
Speaker 1: the morning. So I was left to the streets, you know,
Speaker 1: me and my older sister. Um. So it wasn't the
Speaker 1: fact that my mom's couldn't raise me or didn't teach
Speaker 1: me values because uh, that's why you know, I didn't
Speaker 1: go to the extreme as far as the ship I
Speaker 1: got into, because I always used to think in the
Speaker 1: back of my head, my mom's gonna fuck me up
Speaker 1: if I get caught or you know. So you know,
Speaker 1: I started gang banging and doing all that ship. And
Speaker 1: it wasn't necessarily because you know, you hear the stories
Speaker 1: of your my mom was on dope, my father was gone,
Speaker 1: I had no I basically just I started gang banging
Speaker 1: and ship as the rebellion of feeling like, you know,
Speaker 1: it's just what niggas did in my neighborhood and growing up. Um,
Speaker 1: And then I guess because I didn't have a father around,
Speaker 1: I started like still saying getting that little you know,
Speaker 1: because father wasn't around. And you know, fifteen sixteen, I'm
Speaker 1: seeing dudes slang dope and gang bang. So that gave
Speaker 1: me a little you know, it gave me a little
Speaker 1: attitude is to where, um, you know, if my mom's
Speaker 1: would tell me something, you know, Uh, I don't think
Speaker 1: I ever got out of line or cuss my mom
Speaker 1: out or talk ship like that. I just was influenced
Speaker 1: by the streets. Now, if my father was around who knows.
Speaker 1: But my mom tried to do everything that a father
Speaker 1: would do. Uh. She put me in sports when she could.
Speaker 1: You know, she always participated at school and ship like that. Um,
Speaker 1: she sent us to a private school. You know, me
Speaker 1: and my sister So and we lived in one of
Speaker 1: the baddest parts of Compton. But you know, so your
Speaker 1: figures was from the street or that you didn't have.
Speaker 1: I didn't have no we I didn't have like, um,
Speaker 1: all the family who had transitioned from Mississippi to here,
Speaker 1: they were all females. There weren't There weren't no males here.
Speaker 1: There were no uncles or big brothers or you know,
Speaker 1: I didn't have none of that. All my all my
Speaker 1: family were women, my aunties. I had like four aunties
Speaker 1: who transitioned from Mississippi to California. So and they whole family.
Speaker 1: It was like what seven eight girls and one boy.
Speaker 1: So I didn't have uncles and fluent said. My influences
Speaker 1: came from when moms went to work. You know, the
Speaker 1: sister boyfriend come over, he from so and so. He's
Speaker 1: selling dope. He won't he won't when you walked to
Speaker 1: the store down the street, sniggers on the corner banging
Speaker 1: and slanging, and you know, hey, hang with us, my
Speaker 1: little nigga, Hey come to the store with us, my
Speaker 1: little I didn't have no male figure who was like,
Speaker 1: don't do that, you know. And my mom's because she
Speaker 1: was so busy with trying to raise us and pay
Speaker 1: the bills. She next she didn't if you the asked her,
Speaker 1: oh no, my son, don't gang bang. Oh no, my son,
Speaker 1: don't you know? Because at home, I still was the
Speaker 1: disciplined kid. I wasn't the outrageous kid when I came
Speaker 1: off the block. You know. I'd go around the house,
Speaker 1: tucked the gun, tucked the dope, and then come in
Speaker 1: the house and be yes, ma'am, no, ma'am, you get me.
Speaker 1: I never was like, oh man, fuck this ship Monty
Speaker 1: wool up until I guess when you're a middle child,
Speaker 1: you start feeling a little you know, my sister was
Speaker 1: older then my mom's had a young another child, so
Speaker 1: I started feeling that middle child ship. You know, he
Speaker 1: getting she getting shipped. So that's what led me to
Speaker 1: start gang banging and ship because I don't know, I
Speaker 1: was just trying to be rebellious. But I never felt
Speaker 1: like my mom's did a bad job or like she
Speaker 1: didn't raise me right, you get me, because if anything,
Speaker 1: she tried to instill a lot of ship in me
Speaker 1: to where I would grow up and be a righteous
Speaker 1: you know, man, human being or whatever. But it was
Speaker 1: just those. It was just those, like I guess, is
Speaker 1: what you call the obstacles that you would have to
Speaker 1: go through it sometimes as a young man, that you
Speaker 1: have to figure out. And that's what I did in
Speaker 1: those transitions of of from from sixteen seventeen of eighteen,
Speaker 1: trying to find the identity of who I was gonna
Speaker 1: be because around me it was nothing but gang bangers
Speaker 1: and dope dealers. You know. Um, I lost the interest
Speaker 1: of being. Uh, you know what my mom tried to
Speaker 1: instill in me, and I guess that that comes from
Speaker 1: And I don't know if that would have happened if
Speaker 1: my father was in the house, you get me. I mean,
Speaker 1: does that does that affect your relationship with other men?
Speaker 1: Because like I said to me, I think men are
Speaker 1: more logical than women. So how do you think that
Speaker 1: affects your relationship with other men? Or how did it
Speaker 1: affect your relationship with other men? Um? I didn't have
Speaker 1: too many relationships with other men as far as you know,
Speaker 1: true friends. Instead, it took me until I got older interactions.
Speaker 1: How do you think it affected your interactions with UM?
Speaker 1: I was. I really didn't interact with other men, so
Speaker 1: to speak. I was always guarded, quiet, UH never wanted
Speaker 1: to be around. I'm like that today. I don't like
Speaker 1: going a lot of places. I don't like being a
Speaker 1: lot around a lot of people. UM, I could count
Speaker 1: on probably my one hand the male friends I know
Speaker 1: or have you get me? So, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: guess it was just being raised by my mom and
Speaker 1: my father not being around. It didn't give me a
Speaker 1: resentment towards him because I still was able to talk
Speaker 1: to him. I mean, he was living in Oklahoma, got remarried.
Speaker 1: But you know, UM, I just felt as as I
Speaker 1: started growing up, uh, anything that transitioned with him had
Speaker 1: turned into like whatever, you know, And it took a
Speaker 1: while for uh me to communicate with him on a
Speaker 1: regular you know. But I never had no resentment to like, man,
Speaker 1: fuck him and whatever. Whatever. You know. I was kind
Speaker 1: of glad he left because I got tired of seeing
Speaker 1: my mom's fucked with you get me? So I didn't
Speaker 1: have a UH. I still used to go over his house.
Speaker 1: I used to take some of the vacations to go
Speaker 1: see him in Oklahoma. And I think when I got
Speaker 1: to the point of maybe around seventeen eighteen and we
Speaker 1: had a disagreement, I stopped talking to him. I probably
Speaker 1: didn't talk to him for ten years. My sister kept
Speaker 1: My sister kept from contact with him a lot, and
Speaker 1: UH up until he passed the nineties. Seven. I started
Speaker 1: communicating with him, like probably a year before he passed,
Speaker 1: But once I started doing my thing and was working
Speaker 1: and moving around, I just stopped communicating with him. You
Speaker 1: know the interesting thing about that dynamic eight, the way
Speaker 1: we are raised definitely influences the people that we eventually
Speaker 1: come because eight is right. I've known eight for a
Speaker 1: long time, and I swear the first year I was
Speaker 1: just trying, you know, you're trying to get to know somebody, right,
Speaker 1: He wouldn't hardly talk. Then the more we came around
Speaker 1: and started talking, he was actually talking to me and
Speaker 1: laughing and joggling everything. One day and I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I guess I finally get the meat. You know, Aaron,
Speaker 1: now you see what I'm saying. So he definitely checks
Speaker 1: you out first before he He's definitely guarded and reserved
Speaker 1: around people. He don't do a whole lot of talking.
Speaker 1: You know. Now we have conversations, some really good conversations
Speaker 1: about everything about fatherhood, about what the boys are doing,
Speaker 1: everything else, but mine was kind of the opposite. And um,
Speaker 1: one of the biggest things I learned to respect about
Speaker 1: my mom is my father was a very abusive man.
Speaker 1: But I never heard about that from my mom. I
Speaker 1: heard about that later on from my uncle's as I
Speaker 1: got older, because they didn't like him for whatever reason,
Speaker 1: and I would always wonder, why why don't you care
Speaker 1: about my pops? Like why don't you like him? You
Speaker 1: always talking mess about him? And I got an uncle
Speaker 1: that just let me have it one day and told
Speaker 1: me that Nick he this and that one thing. Whem,
Speaker 1: I had to fuck him up behind, like you know,
Speaker 1: And so it made me start looking at my pops
Speaker 1: a little different because my mom's is my everything. So
Speaker 1: when I found about about that, and plus he did
Speaker 1: some dumbship one time, like my pops still had a
Speaker 1: lot of mature to do, and he told me that
Speaker 1: he apologized in so many words much later on in life,
Speaker 1: because it got to the point, I don't even have
Speaker 1: my father's last name. I have my stepfather's last name,
Speaker 1: So it would be a time to war when he
Speaker 1: would come out here to California, great grandfather, like, we're
Speaker 1: cool and everything, my grand my kids know him as
Speaker 1: their grandfather and everything he comes out were kicking and
Speaker 1: stuff like that. But we took a ride one day,
Speaker 1: just going to the grocery store the street that wound
Speaker 1: up being a forty minute ride. I wound up a
Speaker 1: riverside somewhere just wind up, you know, riding and talking
Speaker 1: to him, because his whole thing would be all the time,
Speaker 1: why don't you change your last name and such and such?
Speaker 1: You know you ain't this and that, And it kind
Speaker 1: of pissed me off a little bit because I said,
Speaker 1: hold on, you had a choice. My last name was Munson,
Speaker 1: which is my mama's maiden name up until I was
Speaker 1: like eight year nine years old. You had plenty of
Speaker 1: time during that period to come there and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: I need my son's last name, mon need to have
Speaker 1: my name of the first certificate. But you wasn't the
Speaker 1: wrong because you was hiding because you thought my mom
Speaker 1: was trying to get you on child support. Whatever I
Speaker 1: heard all about it, he was alright, you couldn't catch
Speaker 1: him hiding and at its hiding the basements and everything
Speaker 1: else to him. Yeah, said the tune. This happened to me.
Speaker 1: I was maybe thirty five at the time, maybe thirty five.
Speaker 1: I was already a grown man because he kept pressing
Speaker 1: me over the years, and I got tired of being
Speaker 1: nice about it because it would piss me up all
Speaker 1: be like, man, how dare you so the man that
Speaker 1: did raised me? Willie Still he's dead right now. There's
Speaker 1: no way I would dishonor his what he did for
Speaker 1: me by just saying, you know what, what you did
Speaker 1: for me, Pops, I'm gonna change my name because a
Speaker 1: lot of who I am like that. My step Pops
Speaker 1: was twenty five years older than my mom, so he
Speaker 1: was one of them dude to do to troll haird
Speaker 1: the cigar all the time and would leave your suite
Speaker 1: and throw the Cadillac right. But he didn't play no games.
Speaker 1: He took care of our house, He took care of
Speaker 1: all the bills. We had everything we wanted. He put
Speaker 1: us in our first house. But he was always a
Speaker 1: dude that went to work. So it was no laying
Speaker 1: up in Wheel's house. You wouldn't go lay up to
Speaker 1: nine or ten o'clock in the morning. You know, you
Speaker 1: said your people some god Ford eight. My family was
Speaker 1: from of Port, Mrs. And my father was from Tampa, Florida,
Speaker 1: So I come from South Um. But I correctly what
Speaker 1: I'm doing. What I can say is I don't know
Speaker 1: if Derek is uh you know, and I guess women
Speaker 1: could you know, you could y'all could answer this. Do
Speaker 1: you feel if as a single mother, there is a
Speaker 1: point in time to where if you have a son
Speaker 1: that he needs that may all influence to take him
Speaker 1: to the next level as far as being a man,
Speaker 1: do you feel that you need that man figure to
Speaker 1: be able to raise your son or give him the
Speaker 1: guidance to be a certain type of man, or do
Speaker 1: you feel like as mama should I got this? No,
Speaker 1: I mean, I've had this so, I mean, but I
Speaker 1: did come to a point in life where I was
Speaker 1: just like shit. I think it was when he got
Speaker 1: about maybe like fourteen or fifteen. May I think ye again,
Speaker 1: like it's certain stuff that he got to be going
Speaker 1: through or you know what I'm saying that he my
Speaker 1: son is like introverted. Like now he's like now he
Speaker 1: goes out, he does his thing, he has a little click,
Speaker 1: he does whatever. But it took him a while to
Speaker 1: even do all that. Like I used to sit there
Speaker 1: and be like, you don't guard like you do you lucky,
Speaker 1: like you let him be him. He gonna do what
Speaker 1: you do. So yeah, like he literally, like I said,
Speaker 1: he was just pretty much like into his computers and
Speaker 1: just reading and like stuff like that. He really wasn't
Speaker 1: like you, He'll come and socialize with the family for
Speaker 1: a minute like whatever. But but that's when I mean,
Speaker 1: you were sending them down to pop us house for
Speaker 1: you have male influences. Right, So my brother, like my
Speaker 1: brothers live out here, lives in Diego, but whenever to
Speaker 1: get a chance. But then they talked like you know,
Speaker 1: face time or whatever, like they talk or whatever, or
Speaker 1: like if I felt some type of way, I'd be
Speaker 1: like I'll call my brother like hey, like I wis
Speaker 1: should I do? And He's like I'm gonna call him,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So my brother like really
Speaker 1: helped me a lot um in that situation. Like his
Speaker 1: dad was there, but his dad I think that his
Speaker 1: dad doesn't. I don't think that he was really taught
Speaker 1: really how to. I don't know. I want to say,
Speaker 1: be a father, but he just really doesn't. He don't
Speaker 1: really talk that much. I think, Um, I was a
Speaker 1: young father. Um I had my first kid when I
Speaker 1: was seventeen. Um I just started wrapping, um still gaging, banging,
Speaker 1: still trying to be in the streets. So I don't
Speaker 1: think that um I was ready to be a father.
Speaker 1: You know, as far as I didn't know Ship, you
Speaker 1: get me, I didn't know and not being not being
Speaker 1: raised by a father, basically, ship, what am I supposed
Speaker 1: to do as a father when Ship my father left
Speaker 1: when I was like ship five six? You know everything
Speaker 1: I saw my mother do you know? So, Um, when
Speaker 1: I had my first kid, my daughter, you know, I
Speaker 1: tried to do stuff that I knew my dad didn't
Speaker 1: do right, but it was a hard and then she
Speaker 1: was a girl, so you know, Mama was there, Mama whatever.
Speaker 1: So but when I had my son, knowing that my
Speaker 1: father was in around, uh that that influenced me more
Speaker 1: to wanna be a game, joined the game, sell dope
Speaker 1: and be on the negative. Even though my mom's tried
Speaker 1: to do everything she could. Like you, she tried to
Speaker 1: do everything she could. But when me and his mom,
Speaker 1: you know, separated, whatever, my first thing was, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tak him to stay with me. He was what we
Speaker 1: tried to stay together. I don't know from the time
Speaker 1: he was born, because I don't know. I think I
Speaker 1: wanted to have him have the sense of of of family, right,
Speaker 1: you know, maybe his life will turn a little differently
Speaker 1: than the struggle I went through of having a single
Speaker 1: moment the house. So you know, we moved in together,
Speaker 1: and you know, from the time he was born to
Speaker 1: the time he was about eight years old, you know,
Speaker 1: we did everything uh enrode in and forwards through programs,
Speaker 1: all that, moved all the way out of the city,
Speaker 1: maybe hour and a half outside of l A to
Speaker 1: give the I was feeling like maybe this could lead
Speaker 1: to a difference. And then so when we separated and
Speaker 1: it was time for us to go our separates, I
Speaker 1: took him with me. He was eleven and he's been
Speaker 1: with me ever since. And from the time he was five,
Speaker 1: signed him up for football and I started coaching and
Speaker 1: you know, everything that had something to do with him,
Speaker 1: and as far as represented as a father. I tried
Speaker 1: to do that because I didn't have that, so I
Speaker 1: figured maybe that would that would make a different path
Speaker 1: for him and would teach him differently than how I
Speaker 1: was towards you know, females coming up or whatever whatever.
Speaker 1: So I can say he's totally different than what I
Speaker 1: was as a teenager. You get me. He stays in
Speaker 1: the house, he his friends, he plays sports. You know,
Speaker 1: he uh no trouble, never gotten any fights or anything
Speaker 1: like that. So I just tried to feel like maybe
Speaker 1: you know the influence of trying to have a father
Speaker 1: in the household. It helps them. It gives the kids
Speaker 1: a little more you know, it's always good to have
Speaker 1: both parents in the kids. Like I mean, you don't
Speaker 1: have to necessarily be together, but I do think that, um,
Speaker 1: you know, there's a lot of strong women out here
Speaker 1: who can do it on their own, but just the
Speaker 1: influence of having that that strong male figure, because like
Speaker 1: I said, I've seen a lot of kids coming through
Speaker 1: football who dad's never came to practice, you get me.
Speaker 1: And I would wonder how that would make kids feel,
Speaker 1: you know, seeing that I'm with my son seven, you
Speaker 1: get me, whether it's taking him to school, picking him
Speaker 1: up from school, taking him to practice, picking him up
Speaker 1: for practice. I just wanted to show the presence because
Speaker 1: back in my days, like I said, a lot of
Speaker 1: us who didn't know how to be fathers was absent. Yeah,
Speaker 1: we got girls, We got girls pregnant back then, and
Speaker 1: wasn't like we were something. He was living down the street,
Speaker 1: you know, around the corner. It's just that niggas didn't
Speaker 1: know how to be fathers. We wasn't talked, so a
Speaker 1: lot of women had to raise kids on their own,
Speaker 1: and a lot of like I would never like again,
Speaker 1: I would never say that a woman couldn't raise a man.
Speaker 1: But there were certain things that a man could teach us, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, his son that a woman couldn't do. But
Speaker 1: my mom's was a single mom, So I would never
Speaker 1: be in a position to say that a woman couldn't
Speaker 1: raise a man because ship I didn't come out saw
Speaker 1: for nothing like that. My mama was hard on me
Speaker 1: comment growing up. You know, women have definitely proven throughout
Speaker 1: history that they are capable of raising men because we
Speaker 1: are result of that. Even though I did have strong man.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go back to something you said eight. I
Speaker 1: think that with men, we either go one or two ways.
Speaker 1: If we had a horrible male figure in our life,
Speaker 1: we usually transferred that pain over. You got some guys
Speaker 1: that transferred that pain and they become even worse than
Speaker 1: their father was. And you got guys like me and eight.
Speaker 1: They said, you know what, I was always the half
Speaker 1: brother in the house like Pops. My mama had kids.
Speaker 1: You know, my two brothers had the same datty. I
Speaker 1: always felt kind of left out a little bit, and
Speaker 1: I think that's why he gave me his last name.
Speaker 1: That made me feel a little bit better. But in
Speaker 1: the back of my mind, I still knew Man. I
Speaker 1: wish I could be in the house man where we
Speaker 1: all had the same father, because in reality, I should
Speaker 1: sit back and wish that that was my father, because
Speaker 1: he just carried himself in his way, like he always
Speaker 1: had a bankroll. He was always sharp, but he always
Speaker 1: went to work. He didn't do no illegal he wasn't
Speaker 1: with no illegal activity. He said, if you want something,
Speaker 1: you get up and work for us. So that was
Speaker 1: my role model. So when I had my kids and
Speaker 1: when I met my woman as my wife, now I
Speaker 1: kind of said, man against all, I'm gonna make my
Speaker 1: family work. I'm gonna be with just one woman my
Speaker 1: whole life, and that's my son. If we have more kids,
Speaker 1: I don't care. She can't stand me. We used to
Speaker 1: be having kids together. You feel what I'm saying. We
Speaker 1: were just gonna keep this family together because I never
Speaker 1: wanted my family and I never wanted my kids to
Speaker 1: feel like, you know, if she got with somebody else
Speaker 1: later on, that they was the one outside looking in
Speaker 1: kind of you feel me. So I've always made sure
Speaker 1: to overly be there for my kids and be because
Speaker 1: he one thing that my pops wasn't my step pops.
Speaker 1: He didn't believe, and no kind of emotion like he
Speaker 1: wasn't a type those gonna give you no hug. His
Speaker 1: way is showing you he loved he was by paying
Speaker 1: them build and making sure you had food to tell
Speaker 1: He wasn't gonna do all that stuff, but he did.
Speaker 1: Let you know. I knew later on because when he died,
Speaker 1: I hadn't talked to him and about probably like eight years.
Speaker 1: I have my own issues because he needs to with
Speaker 1: my ass. But me looking back at it, it wasn't
Speaker 1: just me, because he woke my brother's ass too. That
Speaker 1: was just his get down right. So I was kind
Speaker 1: of mad about some things, um, and he was on
Speaker 1: his deathbed and he was telling me he couldn't talk,
Speaker 1: and it took me a lot to call him. But
Speaker 1: when I called him, his wife had said, this is
Speaker 1: amazing because this is the first time he's actually been
Speaker 1: able to talk to you. You know that man died
Speaker 1: three hours after he talked to me, so he was
Speaker 1: waiting to talk to me. It was like because he
Speaker 1: kept saying, because he the only want to call me, Norman,
Speaker 1: Tell Norman to call me. I don't know what I
Speaker 1: did to him for him not to call me. And
Speaker 1: I would always have attentions, but you always got excuses
Speaker 1: like I'm too busy and the way I was still
Speaker 1: less scared. Look, kids, I used to be scared of
Speaker 1: Pops man. Pops didn't play no games. And it wasn't know,
Speaker 1: negotiating your way out of nothing, because he would whoop
Speaker 1: your ass or whatever it was around. If a lamp,
Speaker 1: if an extinction cord to a lamp post around, I
Speaker 1: don't see them. Next cords off a lamp from the
Speaker 1: back of TVs and everything else up like them where
Speaker 1: he could then he could take his built off and
Speaker 1: one swoop bab he would just reach down and just
Speaker 1: one swoop this built coming off, and I would just
Speaker 1: be like, damn, this dude didn't have no mercy. But
Speaker 1: I looked, I looked back at it. That's why a
Speaker 1: lot of my friends that didn't have that discipline it
Speaker 1: was running around on the East Side, they did, they
Speaker 1: wound up dead. I saw friends getting hold off the
Speaker 1: prison at sixteen. At fifteen eight, you don't see that
Speaker 1: same stuff. Eight. Yeah, it's And I'm said, um, you
Speaker 1: have something like some situations to where you just didn't
Speaker 1: have mymas who didn't give a damn if you had
Speaker 1: them single families, and you knew the knuckle head niggers
Speaker 1: in the neighborhood, and and and and the females who
Speaker 1: was on the wrong path. I'm just thankful that I
Speaker 1: had a strong I had a strong who would not
Speaker 1: let us, you know, go down that wrong pattern. I
Speaker 1: can't say I was the straightest kid you get me.
Speaker 1: I got into some trouble and I don't and I
Speaker 1: don't necessarily think that's because my father wasn't around. I
Speaker 1: was just I was just a kid who I was smart,
Speaker 1: but then I played dumb. You get me. I was smart,
Speaker 1: but then I played dumb because I knew damn well
Speaker 1: some of the ship I did was gonna get me
Speaker 1: in trouble. But that wasn't because I didn't have the
Speaker 1: right upbringing ship. I was just because I wanted to
Speaker 1: be a motherfucking curious, dumb kid. You know, go ahead,
Speaker 1: you so sorry to cut you off, but let me
Speaker 1: ask this because I just thought about this, right. You know,
Speaker 1: you've got a lot of women that don't want to
Speaker 1: baby that you're wrong at all, and they take the
Speaker 1: kids from the you know, they take the kid and
Speaker 1: pretty much going to hide into whatever. Now sometimes I'm
Speaker 1: against that, don't get me wrong. But sometimes if that
Speaker 1: motherfucker is abusive and just don't mean no damn good,
Speaker 1: I think sometimes and he was best that he's excommunicated
Speaker 1: from the kid's life, because sometimes the type of niggas
Speaker 1: can do more harm than good. Like you said, if
Speaker 1: could either get it to where they're gonna mimic that
Speaker 1: said later, or they made the opposite. Like my brother,
Speaker 1: he valid he wasn't gonna be like my father. Like
Speaker 1: my father was was a good dude. He just had
Speaker 1: like demons. You know what I'm saying he's an alcoholic
Speaker 1: or whatever. And he wasn't always like that, but you know,
Speaker 1: once he got our jail and stuff like that, he
Speaker 1: just turned to liquor and stuff like that. So he
Speaker 1: really wasn't able to really be there for us like
Speaker 1: you know he should have, you know, so my brother,
Speaker 1: you know, he did have a lot of resentment for that.
Speaker 1: And when you were younger and Ship like, you were
Speaker 1: like I'm running away and stuff like that, and I'll
Speaker 1: have to go chase him, like you ain't gonna know
Speaker 1: what you told about your stuff like that. But now
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. He's a father, he's married,
Speaker 1: he's America twenty years, he got um, he got to
Speaker 1: two kids, and he's at every basketball game whatever, like football,
Speaker 1: whatever some want to do like he did, total opposite.
Speaker 1: So you can have those things where sometimes maybe a
Speaker 1: bad influence and you may be like, oh him, I'm
Speaker 1: never gonna be like I'm never gonna make my child
Speaker 1: feel that way or never be that way. Or then
Speaker 1: you may be like, oh, Ship, this is how it
Speaker 1: was supposed to be. So I'm be hall. You know,
Speaker 1: I was taught so it can be. I mean, I've
Speaker 1: never um like I said, yeah, you can. You can.
Speaker 1: You can flip that ship. You can take a bad
Speaker 1: situation and if you have the right attitude in the
Speaker 1: common sense to I ain't gonna be like that. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be different. You know. I never, um, I probably
Speaker 1: can't even never recall the time where my pops told
Speaker 1: me he loved me. Never. But I make sure every
Speaker 1: day when my son go to school to tell him
Speaker 1: I love him and that ship is crazy, because I
Speaker 1: don't want him growing up to feel like my Posts
Speaker 1: was just hard as motherfucker. You know, my Post used
Speaker 1: the gang Bang and he's known for making them records
Speaker 1: and being in the movies, and he was just hard.
Speaker 1: And started realizing like, man, you gotta change the narrative.
Speaker 1: Because I was sitting down talking to somebody one day
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, no, we didn't do that ship.
Speaker 1: You know, we well, nobody's sitting around the house talking
Speaker 1: about you know, we're getting ready to leave and go
Speaker 1: out to the hood or something. And the motherfucker be like,
Speaker 1: all right, be careful, I love you. We didn't do
Speaker 1: that ship in my household. It was ship. I mean,
Speaker 1: we we just didn't do it, you get me. Uh,
Speaker 1: not that it was in love because I talked to
Speaker 1: my m every day and every time we get off
Speaker 1: the phone, it's like, Okay, I love you, Okay, I
Speaker 1: love you too. But me growing up in Compton and
Speaker 1: gang infested in moms, you know, going through the divorce
Speaker 1: and all that other ship and we're living in the
Speaker 1: hood and all, but nobody talking about I love you
Speaker 1: and my moa fucking household. It was just like, uh,
Speaker 1: be careful, watch out and knowing the situation. So from
Speaker 1: what I've seen growing up, as I said, I had
Speaker 1: to change that narrative. So you know, any time my
Speaker 1: son we get ready to go play his football game
Speaker 1: on Friday nights, I make sure I send him a
Speaker 1: long text message and at the end tell him I
Speaker 1: love them no matter what happens, you know tonight. And
Speaker 1: I never told my pops, hey, I love you too,
Speaker 1: but he with no problem, Hey I love you too,
Speaker 1: Pops and whatever whatever. So it's starting to change the
Speaker 1: narrow ative of of what I saw and what I
Speaker 1: grew up as and saw in my household that I
Speaker 1: want him to take that to me differently because you
Speaker 1: didn't change that. I didn't have to grow up and
Speaker 1: be the alcoholic, let me let me, you know, abuse
Speaker 1: my woman and then have my kids scared of me
Speaker 1: and crazy and dominating the household. I I didn't want that.
Speaker 1: I wanted my kids to feel comfortable and loved and
Speaker 1: the ship that people see on TV, like, you know,
Speaker 1: we do that ship to here. Oh yeah, I tell
Speaker 1: my kids we love them and yeah we got Christmas
Speaker 1: lights on the house and Santa Claus floats in the
Speaker 1: front yard and all that ship. You know. I want
Speaker 1: to give them a sense of being normal too, and
Speaker 1: not being that different narrative of of of the black household.
Speaker 1: You get me the father who left or don't never
Speaker 1: tell the kids he loved them. And it's just hard
Speaker 1: and well, I grew up from Compton and we gained
Speaker 1: and you ain't supposed to tell the motherfucker you love
Speaker 1: them and that type of ship. So you know, you
Speaker 1: just have to be different, man. I think you know,
Speaker 1: you gotta take from what you've seen or what you
Speaker 1: saw growing up in in your household and what your
Speaker 1: father might have done or mother might have done, and
Speaker 1: you just have to change that for the better. I mean,
Speaker 1: because we got so much resources and and ship that
Speaker 1: we can that we don't have to live the way
Speaker 1: that they did or what we saw. So that's why
Speaker 1: I say, you can never put anybody in the position
Speaker 1: of saying being a single mother, father or whatever. Man,
Speaker 1: you just have to be able to raise the kids
Speaker 1: right and put them on the path of being better
Speaker 1: than the situation of what you came with, because you know,
Speaker 1: I feel I came up pretty hard, so I didn't
Speaker 1: want my kids to have to come up like that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: for real, for real, how is your relationship with your
Speaker 1: pops coming up? Because we always talk about the you know,
Speaker 1: man's relationship with the mom. I know, daughters and their
Speaker 1: fathers are typically pretty close, right. Yeah. I had a
Speaker 1: relationship with with my dad. He was him, my mom
Speaker 1: was married, they divorced. When I was like to my dad, um,
Speaker 1: you know, he was an alcoholic, he was out like, um,
Speaker 1: he's out there. My mom would actually like drop me
Speaker 1: off over to his sister's house because she knew he
Speaker 1: would kind of be around, you know, and she still
Speaker 1: wanted me to be able to like see him. So
Speaker 1: my dad he was a bummer at one point where
Speaker 1: I would play checkers with him or just like, you know,
Speaker 1: he'll be around in the neighborhood and kids and be like,
Speaker 1: oh that you know that's your dad or whatever. But um,
Speaker 1: he got itself together and he stepped up. I had
Speaker 1: to go live with him at one point. Um he
Speaker 1: had he laughed, and when he came back, my mom
Speaker 1: was in a situation where I needed to go live
Speaker 1: with him, and we had a good relationship. My dad, though,
Speaker 1: was very like I think only got one I don't
Speaker 1: even think I got a whip in Like he hit
Speaker 1: me like once and he cried about it. Like my
Speaker 1: dad was very like I pretty much got to do
Speaker 1: what I wanted. I live with my mom, my stepdad,
Speaker 1: my stepdad, my stepdad. He was we we got into
Speaker 1: it many of times. We bumped heads many of times.
Speaker 1: You know, he was one of those streets dudes. It
Speaker 1: was like in the streets or whatever. You know. Always
Speaker 1: um treated me as his daughter and I have a
Speaker 1: sister by him. But it was too different. Like he
Speaker 1: was tough, not like tough tough, but he was tough.
Speaker 1: Whereas my dad like it was like he ain't nothing,
Speaker 1: but he was in my life. You know, they're both
Speaker 1: in my life. So my kids they have like I
Speaker 1: have two moms, stepmom my mom. You know my two dads.
Speaker 1: I just didn't have a grandfather. That's how he was
Speaker 1: in my house too. I think that's just a black
Speaker 1: household things my kids got. The the friends asked like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I got two grand posts, I've got three. Yeah, Like
Speaker 1: that's just how it is, you know, And I know
Speaker 1: it's you over there trying to hire what's going on
Speaker 1: with you in your pop's relationship? WHI She was like
Speaker 1: you going. I know me and Moops was cool. We
Speaker 1: had a cool My pops was just really like was craziest,
Speaker 1: but like he was that person to be like high Scoore.
Speaker 1: I getting mad at like he was just crazy, but
Speaker 1: he was. I was the only girl like he had
Speaker 1: you know boys like all boys. I'm the only girl.
Speaker 1: I'm the oldest, but I'm the only girl. So I'm
Speaker 1: always was always a baby girl. Like I didn't get
Speaker 1: punishing and whippings and stuff like the boys did. It
Speaker 1: wasn't happening now you just go upstairs, like you know,
Speaker 1: I was the princess. You know, So we didn't have
Speaker 1: a cool relationship, like did I I wish that he was,
Speaker 1: you know, him and my my mom. It's crazy, my mom,
Speaker 1: my dad got They met when they were like eleven
Speaker 1: and twelve. They had me at sixteen. Two weeks later,
Speaker 1: my mom turned seventeen, my dad turned eighteen. I literally
Speaker 1: like it was crazy. So he really didn't know, like
Speaker 1: like he was saying, like he really didn't know, like
Speaker 1: you know, how to be a father, like he was
Speaker 1: ship ship. Now you're trying to take care of family.
Speaker 1: Then four years later then my brother comes, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, that he gets married to my mom.
Speaker 1: They're like hell a young trying to hold it down
Speaker 1: or whatever like that, and they just didn't they they
Speaker 1: lost their way for a second, know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: And then they both came back full circle bed Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: like you know, he he passed away. But um when
Speaker 1: he always would say like you know you baby girl,
Speaker 1: like you know what I'm saying, you know you you
Speaker 1: treated such whatever, so like we have a bad relationship.
Speaker 1: That's dude, you know. And I think the father is
Speaker 1: very underrated because like you said, I think you turned
Speaker 1: out to be the person you are. I think your
Speaker 1: mom got a real big influence on you. But the
Speaker 1: older I get I think is how your relationship was
Speaker 1: with your father. I know, for us as men anyway. Um,
Speaker 1: for you guys, it may be more of how your
Speaker 1: relationship is with your mama, you know. But I think
Speaker 1: for men especially, we um based our lives, and we
Speaker 1: become who we are based on our relationship with our dad.
Speaker 1: Because a lot of things, I just knew I didn't
Speaker 1: want to be sorry. I didn't want to make no
Speaker 1: fake ass promises to my kid because I remember being
Speaker 1: a little kid, we stayed like in the basement apartment.
Speaker 1: In the basement apartment, you know, you got the windows
Speaker 1: up here, you know, you see the ground and the thing,
Speaker 1: and it would be a Friday, and you know, I'll
Speaker 1: be waiting for my dad to come. I remember I
Speaker 1: would go get my bags. I would get them brown
Speaker 1: grocery bags and put my clothes and stuff in it.
Speaker 1: And I would have me a little book in there,
Speaker 1: my comic books. So I'm okay for the ride this
Speaker 1: house as far so I'll be prepared, right. And man,
Speaker 1: I remember I was sitting the couch. He's supposed to
Speaker 1: be there five o'clock, five thirty hids six o'clock here,
Speaker 1: and my mama just there looking at him. She's like, baby,
Speaker 1: let me go put your clothes and think, no, my daddy,
Speaker 1: go come. I got my coat on and my little
Speaker 1: boots on and stuff. No, I don't want to go
Speaker 1: to sleep. And I remember I would go to sleep
Speaker 1: on that couch buddy for that nagame and then he
Speaker 1: wouldn't come. I would be so sad, and then it
Speaker 1: would be like during the time I would sleep, he
Speaker 1: don't came and gave my mom five or ten dollars
Speaker 1: for me, and think that that's you know, like, and
Speaker 1: so I see him a month later, Oh, did you
Speaker 1: get the money I gave you? Just like, man, I
Speaker 1: didn't think about that money. I don't want to come
Speaker 1: and kick it with you. I just want to be
Speaker 1: with my dad. And he did that to me so
Speaker 1: much to where it got to the point to where
Speaker 1: I couldn't stay in that dude, like I really didn't
Speaker 1: like him, and he would come and try to give me.
Speaker 1: When I got like thirteen and fortune, I was like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to go. I don't want to go.
Speaker 1: And then during that period I remember room, it was
Speaker 1: a period to where he called the house and I
Speaker 1: picked up the phone upstairs and he was cussing my
Speaker 1: mom out, like calling all out of names. You gotta
Speaker 1: think my mom got us, man, and so he getting on,
Speaker 1: he getting mad. You know, people get to grabbing pistols
Speaker 1: and stuff, and I go do this and that, you know.
Speaker 1: So I was mad at him about that because he
Speaker 1: let me see that over ignorant outside of him. You sure,
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, just something you should never do in
Speaker 1: front of your kids, you know what I mean? He
Speaker 1: called my mom out out of her name, and I'm
Speaker 1: cussing him out, and it's just got real crazy. And
Speaker 1: even still to this day, I had to work with
Speaker 1: that forgiving him because sometimes we need be around and
Speaker 1: be saying stuff like I try to call the shot
Speaker 1: out of a mom, like, man, you ain't got the
Speaker 1: right to be doing all that home. You're cool that
Speaker 1: you're here, but you're gonna calm down, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. Like you remember, And I told him like
Speaker 1: the last time we got together, and I don't like
Speaker 1: to live in the past. I just don't think it's
Speaker 1: healthy to live in the past. I think it's you
Speaker 1: need to forgive people for you because when you are
Speaker 1: broad bottle up all that energy, it's just bad for
Speaker 1: you and you wind up becoming the person you don't
Speaker 1: want to be so I've forgiven them for a lot
Speaker 1: of things, but I don't forget because I think it's
Speaker 1: some stuff that you should have to be punished for
Speaker 1: them and remember in your mind that you suck up.
Speaker 1: I think we just I think people need to be
Speaker 1: careful about who they go lay up and have kids with,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I think that's a very
Speaker 1: important thing. Even if you don't wind up with a person,
Speaker 1: I just think you impact us to somebody else's life,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So I appreciate you all
Speaker 1: coming home and having this deep discussion with us tonight.
Speaker 1: Thanks for having Yeah, y'all probably thought. Y'all probably thought
Speaker 1: we was gonna be on here trying to go back
Speaker 1: and forth. We because those women that don't let men
Speaker 1: see their kids that I think they gonna deal with
Speaker 1: something later on in life and their own is eventually
Speaker 1: that kids will get older. I want to see us
Speaker 1: that anyway. Oh yeah, I think it's important for you
Speaker 1: know that relationship to so gloomy life. There's no reason
Speaker 1: to like keep in domestic violence situations where they're hurting
Speaker 1: the kids. Yeah, but no, why why are you keeping
Speaker 1: this kid away? From their father. I think it's hurting them,
Speaker 1: but it's not. It's hurting the kids. It's hurting the
Speaker 1: kid for real, for real. So y'all back to doing
Speaker 1: your podcast again full time. I know y'all be on
Speaker 1: there on no ceilings with glasses every week. Y'all back
Speaker 1: up running yet we um know, we haven't. We haven't
Speaker 1: started recording our show yet. So we like, we've been
Speaker 1: talking about it. We got like, you know, yeah, so
Speaker 1: you don't need to do something. He don't nobody to
Speaker 1: talk ship like these girls. They talk a gag and ship.
Speaker 1: They're being nice. It'd be a nice night, but they
Speaker 1: has to be talking again and ship on the night.
Speaker 1: When there's some ship some ship talking, they go about, Yeah, well,
Speaker 1: I know it's late. I'm gonna let y'all go. I
Speaker 1: appreciate that. What can people find, y'all that you can
Speaker 1: follow us at the Real Cousins, the Real Cousins everywhere,
Speaker 1: and y'all heard it here first, think crazy as a month,
Speaker 1: check them out and we are here. Well, that concludes
Speaker 1: another episode of Against the Chronicles podcast. Be sure to
Speaker 1: download the I Heart app and subscribe to the Gangster
Speaker 1: Chronicles podcast for Apple users. Find a purple micro on
Speaker 1: the front of your screen, subscribe to the show, leave
Speaker 1: a comment and rating. Executive producers for The Gangster Chronicles
Speaker 1: podcast and Norman Steve, James McDonald, Aaron M c tyler,
Speaker 1: our visual media directors Brian White, and our audio editors
Speaker 1: Taylor Hayes. The Gangster Chronicles is a production of Our
Speaker 1: Heart Media Network and The Black Effect Podcast Network. For
Speaker 1: more podcast from My Heart Radio, visit the our Heart
Speaker 1: Radio app Apple Podcast Wherever you're listening to your podcasts,