1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:05,760 Speaker 1: When I right, y'all, I'm across the USC Compton Mottes 2 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:10,720 Speaker 1: Bake to l A from on the California the Valley. 3 00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: We represent that Kelly County. So if you're keeping it 4 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,119 Speaker 1: reil on your side of your town, you tune into 5 00:00:17,200 --> 00:00:22,880 Speaker 1: Gangster Chronicles. Chronic goals are gonna tell you how we go. 6 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:26,440 Speaker 1: If I line my nose will girl like Pinocchio. We're 7 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 1: gonna tell you the chousing, nothing but the truth the chronicals. 8 00:00:30,680 --> 00:00:34,600 Speaker 1: This is not your average show. You're now tuned into 9 00:00:34,640 --> 00:00:37,960 Speaker 1: the Rail m c A, Big James and Bix Fields 10 00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:48,519 Speaker 1: the Streets. Hello, welcome to the Gangster Chronicles podcast, the 11 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:51,640 Speaker 1: production of My Heart Radio and Black Effect Podcast Network. 12 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:54,360 Speaker 1: Make sure you download the I Heart Happen. Subscribe to 13 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 1: the Gangster Chronicles for my Apple users, hit the Purple 14 00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,600 Speaker 1: Michael your front screen, Subscribe to the Gainst Chronicles and 15 00:00:59,680 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 1: leave a start rating a comment. So when we at 16 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:06,160 Speaker 1: the school, we just left out the six hundred young men. 17 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:11,679 Speaker 1: At least five of them their fathers wasn't in their lives. 18 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,919 Speaker 1: So watch so let me tell you where that comes from. 19 00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 1: That comes from a guy that's broken and he don't 20 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:21,039 Speaker 1: really know how to treat women. And then it comes 21 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:23,479 Speaker 1: from a woman who was broken and her father wasn't 22 00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:26,400 Speaker 1: in her life, and so she thinks he cute and 23 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,360 Speaker 1: he thinks she cute, and then they get together and 24 00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:33,319 Speaker 1: watch this. She end up pregnant and he not ready 25 00:01:33,360 --> 00:01:36,600 Speaker 1: to be no father nor husband, so he like, oh, man, 26 00:01:36,959 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: now they got baby, Mama drama. Now she raised a 27 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:42,600 Speaker 1: young boy or a young girl and the father ain't there. 28 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:45,959 Speaker 1: And then when they grow up, the young boy don't 29 00:01:46,000 --> 00:01:47,960 Speaker 1: really know how to be a man because his father 30 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,480 Speaker 1: wasn't in his life. Or if it's a young girl, 31 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,640 Speaker 1: she don't know the value that she has because her 32 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:54,640 Speaker 1: father wasn't in her life. And as soon as you 33 00:01:54,760 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: meet a young guy, and as soon as he meet 34 00:01:57,640 --> 00:01:59,760 Speaker 1: a cute little girl, they get together and the cycle 35 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,680 Speaker 1: cause tinues. So I want you to know that's why 36 00:02:02,680 --> 00:02:05,080 Speaker 1: I took you there, because I just left the high 37 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:09,080 Speaker 1: school with six hundred young African American men, and over 38 00:02:09,240 --> 00:02:11,840 Speaker 1: five hundred of them their fathers are not in their lives. 39 00:02:11,880 --> 00:02:15,240 Speaker 1: That's the problem. That's why I came to see us. 40 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 1: You to tell you, when you meet this, I know 41 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:20,400 Speaker 1: she cute, but you gotta ask yourself, are you willing 42 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,400 Speaker 1: to take care of the child. Are you ready to 43 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,799 Speaker 1: put a ring on it? Is she wife of material? 44 00:02:25,080 --> 00:02:27,680 Speaker 1: Like do you even know anything about her family? But 45 00:02:27,760 --> 00:02:29,760 Speaker 1: you were holding and you sleep for her, and now 46 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:33,480 Speaker 1: you help adding to the system. So I'm asking myself, 47 00:02:33,639 --> 00:02:36,880 Speaker 1: where are those five hundred fathers? Are they dead? Are 48 00:02:36,919 --> 00:02:39,519 Speaker 1: they in prison? Did they get married somewhere else? And 49 00:02:39,560 --> 00:02:42,920 Speaker 1: Mayor knows that, Like where are they? I'm looking at 50 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,200 Speaker 1: five hundred young brothers that don't have a dad in 51 00:02:45,200 --> 00:02:48,560 Speaker 1: their life. That's a problem, and I want the mission 52 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:52,040 Speaker 1: to help reverse that curse. You know what I'm saying, Like, 53 00:02:52,080 --> 00:02:54,760 Speaker 1: we gotta make the necessary precautions so we not have 54 00:02:54,960 --> 00:02:58,200 Speaker 1: it here having kids just running around like listen, God, 55 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 1: it's levels to it and it breaks my heart. I'd 56 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:04,799 Speaker 1: be going to school's girls become enough to me talking 57 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:07,200 Speaker 1: about my dad. It's not in my life and why 58 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,959 Speaker 1: don't he love me? And she crying in my chest? 59 00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:12,240 Speaker 1: And I ain't gonn front. I pissed. I'm like, where buddy, 60 00:03:12,280 --> 00:03:14,840 Speaker 1: and he probably somewhere. Think he's smooth, Think he cute 61 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:17,480 Speaker 1: somewhere on Instagram, Snapchat, Like you know what I'm saying, 62 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:20,000 Speaker 1: kicking it. But his daughter got her face buried in 63 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:24,040 Speaker 1: my chest. She's crying. That's the problem. So I'm excited 64 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:27,040 Speaker 1: to feel honored to stand before so many young men. 65 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 1: You gotta ask yourself, are you ready to really be men? 66 00:03:31,040 --> 00:03:33,800 Speaker 1: Or do you want to just be adult males? There's 67 00:03:33,800 --> 00:03:37,080 Speaker 1: a difference. How are you gonna be men of honor, 68 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:42,640 Speaker 1: men of valor, men of substance, men of integrity, men 69 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:47,120 Speaker 1: that have responsibilities, men of leadership that people look at 70 00:03:47,160 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: you and you can be trusted to lead them and 71 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 1: guide them in the right direction. That type of men, 72 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,480 Speaker 1: men that have been trusted with influence. You know what 73 00:03:54,520 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 1: I'm saying. But you say, you know, since I got 74 00:03:56,040 --> 00:03:58,440 Speaker 1: this number on my chest, since I got this number 75 00:03:58,440 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 1: on my back, since I got this ball in my hand, 76 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:02,640 Speaker 1: you know what people look up to me. I'm a 77 00:04:02,800 --> 00:04:06,880 Speaker 1: role model. It starts now, But you gotta start asking 78 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,360 Speaker 1: me or something like, yo, how do I get to 79 00:04:08,360 --> 00:04:10,680 Speaker 1: that point to why I even want to desire that? 80 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:16,000 Speaker 1: What's happening? What's happening? Was happening like it? Welcome you 81 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:20,560 Speaker 1: to another episode of the Gangster Chronicles podcast. Now, my 82 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:23,600 Speaker 1: man James just taking care of some relione and a 83 00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:26,400 Speaker 1: to be on in the minute. But I got some 84 00:04:26,560 --> 00:04:29,479 Speaker 1: special home girls in the house with me tonight. I 85 00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:35,120 Speaker 1: got rid in Britain from the Cousins podcast, the Home Girls. 86 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,800 Speaker 1: So when I reached out to you guys the other 87 00:04:38,880 --> 00:04:41,679 Speaker 1: day or you girls, you girls, you women the other day, 88 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,720 Speaker 1: I was having a conversation with one of my partners then, 89 00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:49,200 Speaker 1: and he suffers from what I like to call toxic masculinity. Right, 90 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:51,680 Speaker 1: he thinks the man is supposed to do everything, is 91 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:53,320 Speaker 1: you know, the woman's supposed to stay at home, in 92 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,040 Speaker 1: the house and do everything. And then he told me 93 00:04:56,080 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 1: that women are incapable of praising a male a wrong man. Um. 94 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:05,400 Speaker 1: I got some of his points, but I disagreed with 95 00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 1: him on a lot of points too, And so that's 96 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:11,040 Speaker 1: why I wanted to get you two in here as mothers. 97 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:16,960 Speaker 1: You know, two mothers, right, two mothers, two mothers and 98 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:21,720 Speaker 1: two black women. And it was normally in our culture 99 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:25,839 Speaker 1: you do normally see the woman raising the sun kids 100 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,520 Speaker 1: body self, doing everything on their own, even if the 101 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:31,240 Speaker 1: father was involved. But once that father used to leaves 102 00:05:31,279 --> 00:05:34,920 Speaker 1: the house, everything is on a woman. M They don't 103 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:38,760 Speaker 1: have to be I mean, I I have a son 104 00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:42,600 Speaker 1: and so his father, me and his father broke up, um, 105 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:47,200 Speaker 1: and he was like two. But I never felt like 106 00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 1: I could write like like that. I didn't have him 107 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,280 Speaker 1: to be his dad, like to raise him, like even 108 00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,320 Speaker 1: though he wasn't in the home like he was there 109 00:05:56,960 --> 00:06:00,280 Speaker 1: and now because I included him in a lot of things. 110 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:03,280 Speaker 1: You know, I'm a single mom, like I had to 111 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:07,960 Speaker 1: do it. Um. I do have my son is twenty 112 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:14,000 Speaker 1: and um, but I did have certain males in his life. 113 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:17,320 Speaker 1: Felt it wasn't just me per se, but the majority 114 00:06:17,360 --> 00:06:19,279 Speaker 1: of the time it was me, Like he's in the 115 00:06:19,279 --> 00:06:22,600 Speaker 1: household with me. But I mean I mean like my 116 00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,839 Speaker 1: brother or you know what I mean, like his big 117 00:06:25,880 --> 00:06:28,279 Speaker 1: cousin or something like that. Like they would step in 118 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:34,720 Speaker 1: where there were where I couldn't know what I'm saying exactly. 119 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:40,960 Speaker 1: That's big, you know, because some people don't have that, right, No, 120 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:44,120 Speaker 1: a lot of people don't have it. Um. You know. 121 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: My thing is, it's always it's hard anyway when you 122 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,039 Speaker 1: had that separation, right because now you're living in two 123 00:06:50,040 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 1: different houses and one of you, one of the parents, 124 00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,920 Speaker 1: is gonna be there with that boy full time. And 125 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,640 Speaker 1: it usually don't start into those little dudes turned around 126 00:06:58,720 --> 00:07:01,880 Speaker 1: twelve eleven and twelve, they started getting tall, they started 127 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:07,159 Speaker 1: getting bigger, and they started talking back. Did y'all Did 128 00:07:07,240 --> 00:07:09,920 Speaker 1: y'all ever have any difficulty? Because I know I always 129 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: had a male figure. Even though my Pops wasn't in 130 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:14,480 Speaker 1: the house with me, he was around and I would 131 00:07:14,520 --> 00:07:16,960 Speaker 1: go see him on you know, every other weekend or whenever, 132 00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,880 Speaker 1: you know, whenever he wanted to come. Whenever I wanted 133 00:07:18,880 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 1: to go out, I could. But for the most part, 134 00:07:21,920 --> 00:07:24,160 Speaker 1: all the discipline was going on with my step pops. 135 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: He was way different than my daddy. When I want 136 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 1: my daddy, I was able to pretty much do what 137 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,320 Speaker 1: I wanted to because he was out there. He wasn't 138 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:32,240 Speaker 1: trying to discipliney when I was out there. My dad 139 00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,640 Speaker 1: was more like a big own boy anything else. It 140 00:07:34,760 --> 00:07:36,640 Speaker 1: wasn't no discipline going on. If I wanted to drink 141 00:07:36,640 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: a beer, I could. If I wanted to stay out 142 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,320 Speaker 1: two or three in the morning, I could. I was 143 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:45,120 Speaker 1: doing everything because he didn't have that disciplinary and type 144 00:07:45,120 --> 00:07:46,680 Speaker 1: of thing going on. He was just so happy to 145 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 1: be able to kick it with me. He was letting 146 00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:51,040 Speaker 1: me do whatever I wanted to. Now, back at home, 147 00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,680 Speaker 1: I had to be in the house at a certain time, 148 00:07:52,720 --> 00:07:55,280 Speaker 1: I was getting the mask, wepons and everything else when 149 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:58,440 Speaker 1: I got his line with y'all. So you would say 150 00:07:58,520 --> 00:08:00,160 Speaker 1: he was necessary to have a man in the house. Well, 151 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 1: my son's father, and mean, we we broke up, we separated, so, um, 152 00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:10,360 Speaker 1: he was with me. But up until he was I mean, 153 00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:12,600 Speaker 1: he was all he was. His dad was always around. 154 00:08:12,680 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 1: But yeah, when he turned about fifteen, he went to 155 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:20,320 Speaker 1: go stay with his dad in the same city, same school. 156 00:08:20,880 --> 00:08:23,800 Speaker 1: You know, his dad actually moved up to the city 157 00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:25,960 Speaker 1: where we were because we lived in the valley. He 158 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:28,200 Speaker 1: lived in l A. And we just always had this 159 00:08:28,280 --> 00:08:30,200 Speaker 1: thing where it was like, Okay, when he gets to 160 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 1: junior high, he's gonna come and be with you, because 161 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:37,120 Speaker 1: I just I felt like what you said, like you know, 162 00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,960 Speaker 1: they're gonna puff up. It's just things as a woman 163 00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: like I just can't teach him or show him or 164 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:48,800 Speaker 1: even you know, get him to understand. At the same time, 165 00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:55,079 Speaker 1: I think that um him, if he would have had 166 00:08:55,080 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 1: the same type of emotional intelligence that that I like, 167 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,280 Speaker 1: if I would have raised him with my emotional intelligence 168 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:07,200 Speaker 1: versus him seeing when his dad handles things, you know, 169 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:12,680 Speaker 1: a little bit more logical not to say that, you know, 170 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:16,520 Speaker 1: but where women were more emotional. So I think that 171 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:19,320 Speaker 1: that plays a big role, you know, in how he 172 00:09:19,440 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 1: handles things in life. And sometimes I don't get it. Still, 173 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:27,160 Speaker 1: I'm like, what you know? So, yeah, I think it's 174 00:09:27,160 --> 00:09:31,320 Speaker 1: important to have a male figure, to have somebody there 175 00:09:31,960 --> 00:09:36,880 Speaker 1: life full time. I think it's important. Yeah, it was 176 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,040 Speaker 1: very important, though I don't think, like I'm gonna talk 177 00:09:40,040 --> 00:09:43,280 Speaker 1: about my mom's for a minute. My mom's with lady 178 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,120 Speaker 1: hands down. My mom said nasty hand game. So if 179 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:47,719 Speaker 1: I got the line, she would just punch me in 180 00:09:47,760 --> 00:09:50,840 Speaker 1: the mouth. She wasn't playing around, right, But it was 181 00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:53,960 Speaker 1: when at a certain point that wasn't going for that. 182 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:57,719 Speaker 1: No more so was sher single mother. You know what, 183 00:09:57,880 --> 00:09:59,640 Speaker 1: I had my step pops in the house and now 184 00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,199 Speaker 1: uncle around, so they did most of the discipline and 185 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 1: stuff because I did. If you know, I think every 186 00:10:04,200 --> 00:10:06,120 Speaker 1: boy has a tendency when they get to a certain 187 00:10:06,200 --> 00:10:08,680 Speaker 1: age to swell up a little bit because my mama's. 188 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,199 Speaker 1: A big thing would be you can wash dishes, you know, 189 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 1: you can wake up in the morning and Saturday in 190 00:10:12,880 --> 00:10:14,800 Speaker 1: the morning and clean up your room. You had shots 191 00:10:14,840 --> 00:10:16,360 Speaker 1: to do. I would have to cook for my brothers 192 00:10:16,360 --> 00:10:20,079 Speaker 1: and everything's left a while. Especially when I was around 193 00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:24,840 Speaker 1: my little homies, I wasn't having that. I just wasn't 194 00:10:24,840 --> 00:10:26,560 Speaker 1: having And I don't think I was a bad shout 195 00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:30,200 Speaker 1: with I just think men in particular, when a boy 196 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,960 Speaker 1: is four team, he's a man for all practical purposes, 197 00:10:34,040 --> 00:10:37,480 Speaker 1: he's usually figuring physically stronger than his mama. So if 198 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,160 Speaker 1: he decides to just nut up in there, what does 199 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:44,280 Speaker 1: the woman go do? What can she do? And like 200 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:47,560 Speaker 1: bread it is, you know you have brothers around, you 201 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:49,880 Speaker 1: had other males around because it dude, take us. I'm 202 00:10:49,920 --> 00:10:52,480 Speaker 1: gonna tell you, I got two sons and I had 203 00:10:52,520 --> 00:10:54,400 Speaker 1: to beat both of the asses at one time. They 204 00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:56,719 Speaker 1: wasn't bad kids, but they I've had to funk them 205 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,600 Speaker 1: up a couple of times just to show them, like 206 00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:01,720 Speaker 1: you you can't make this team. But luckily I haven't 207 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 1: had to do that. You know what I'm saying, Um, 208 00:11:05,360 --> 00:11:10,360 Speaker 1: my kids, pretty Um he's pretty you know, he's pretty chill, 209 00:11:10,840 --> 00:11:14,360 Speaker 1: like my My main thing with with him for me 210 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:19,080 Speaker 1: is I wanted him to experience life and stuff like 211 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:21,440 Speaker 1: that and like get like be outside a little bit 212 00:11:21,520 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: more like he you know, he's more like he'll he 213 00:11:24,240 --> 00:11:27,520 Speaker 1: built his own computer, like he's more into like reading 214 00:11:27,600 --> 00:11:29,920 Speaker 1: and stuff like that, Like he don't really give a 215 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:31,440 Speaker 1: damn by a whole lot of stuff. He just really 216 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,560 Speaker 1: got on social media, like he's happy that he got 217 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:36,240 Speaker 1: his twitch and now he's got stuff streaming and stuff 218 00:11:36,280 --> 00:11:40,160 Speaker 1: like that. But honestly, my son is not really out 219 00:11:40,160 --> 00:11:43,280 Speaker 1: there like that. So I really haven't had that issued out. 220 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,720 Speaker 1: I've been around like friends that have do have sons 221 00:11:45,720 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 1: and they tell me this ship and not be like, damn, 222 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:49,800 Speaker 1: I don't know how I will react because I haven't 223 00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:53,320 Speaker 1: had that for me. It's pretty much just trying to. 224 00:11:53,440 --> 00:11:55,320 Speaker 1: I really just want to make sure that he's straight 225 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,360 Speaker 1: and he knows what he needs to do, you know 226 00:11:57,400 --> 00:11:59,320 Speaker 1: what I mean. If I ever was to not be here, 227 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:01,640 Speaker 1: like I want him to be able to be you 228 00:12:01,679 --> 00:12:04,200 Speaker 1: know what I mean, just responsible and just do the 229 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,559 Speaker 1: things that he needs to do. But it's hard because 230 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:08,679 Speaker 1: I can't really say, like everything needs to do as 231 00:12:08,679 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 1: a man, you know what I'm saying. I can't say 232 00:12:11,040 --> 00:12:13,040 Speaker 1: that you feel me like I could tell him what 233 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,880 Speaker 1: I think. I look, you know what I mean, But 234 00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:19,000 Speaker 1: I can't really genuinely say like something you need to 235 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,040 Speaker 1: do this. I could tell him what I like or 236 00:12:21,080 --> 00:12:24,120 Speaker 1: what you know. I know other women or girls like 237 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,000 Speaker 1: or whatever, but no, we as a man, how do 238 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,960 Speaker 1: you do that? You know, see both of y'all these 239 00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 1: cool moms, and you had a cool son, and every 240 00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:35,920 Speaker 1: kid is different. Like my oldest son. I only had 241 00:12:35,960 --> 00:12:37,960 Speaker 1: to do that to him one time. I've never had 242 00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:40,320 Speaker 1: to walk my oldest son. He was always good, never 243 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:43,480 Speaker 1: told lives my other one. It's like he came out 244 00:12:43,559 --> 00:12:47,440 Speaker 1: the wound rage to rags Hill. You feel what I'm saying. 245 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:49,640 Speaker 1: He was just a free spirit just from the time 246 00:12:49,679 --> 00:12:52,160 Speaker 1: he could walk. He was always into some ships. So 247 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:55,080 Speaker 1: I definitely would say that my wife could have raised 248 00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: him on her own because he was just too just them. 249 00:12:57,800 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 1: I'm trying to look for the right word for because 250 00:12:59,480 --> 00:13:03,080 Speaker 1: he wouldn't have kids, always had good grades, always was 251 00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,840 Speaker 1: still an athlete, always did everything he was supposed to do. 252 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 1: But he was just very independent, had his mind made up. 253 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:10,719 Speaker 1: I'm gonna do what the funk I want to do. 254 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:14,800 Speaker 1: Nobody's gonna stuck. I got a house full right now. 255 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:21,040 Speaker 1: So how old are your children? My son is eighteen, 256 00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:26,200 Speaker 1: oh right, but half the football team is always here, 257 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,760 Speaker 1: so I've always got at least six or seven boys 258 00:13:29,840 --> 00:13:35,960 Speaker 1: in the house every day. It's been like that. But um, 259 00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:39,160 Speaker 1: I've had kids like that since I've been coaching football 260 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:43,200 Speaker 1: for the last thirteen years. So I've got kids around 261 00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:47,440 Speaker 1: here who I've been around since stay where eleven twelve 262 00:13:47,559 --> 00:13:53,200 Speaker 1: years old? So I'm kind of YouTube. Uh. You know 263 00:13:53,840 --> 00:13:56,720 Speaker 1: a lot of kids, you know, some kids who dads 264 00:13:56,720 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 1: are not around. I deal with a lot of those, 265 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:04,960 Speaker 1: so they're usually at my almost every day. But you know, um, 266 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:11,360 Speaker 1: differently than what you were saying. Still, you get to 267 00:14:11,440 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 1: a point sometimes I guess when us us um, when 268 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,560 Speaker 1: we are growing up. I, like you said, we turned 269 00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 1: fourteen fifteen, Uh, we get that courage. I guess what 270 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:29,080 Speaker 1: do you want to say? Talk back ship? Uh? I 271 00:14:29,120 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 1: was raised in the household, single parent household. Um, but 272 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:39,360 Speaker 1: my parents got divorced. Father worked at General Motors. Uh. 273 00:14:39,560 --> 00:14:43,960 Speaker 1: Mother was a registered you know, certified nurse and assistant. 274 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 1: So um we had the house you know, mother, father 275 00:14:50,680 --> 00:14:55,960 Speaker 1: keeping me and my sister. But we witnessed a lot 276 00:14:56,040 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 1: of domestic violence in my household. Yeah. Um, so my 277 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:09,400 Speaker 1: mom was one of those who you know, maybe once, 278 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:14,920 Speaker 1: maybe twice, three times nigger No, So she left my pulse. 279 00:15:15,800 --> 00:15:20,920 Speaker 1: So my scenery changed, you know. It uh went from 280 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:25,360 Speaker 1: the dad mom in the household to the single mom 281 00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:31,360 Speaker 1: moving to the what you call a ghetto, you know. Uh, 282 00:15:31,360 --> 00:15:35,480 Speaker 1: we left South Gates, it moved, and I had to move, 283 00:15:35,560 --> 00:15:37,880 Speaker 1: as maybe about a four or five year old kid. 284 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 1: We moved to Compton and the rest was history. My 285 00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 1: father wasn't around, you know, MS typical as a lot 286 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:54,680 Speaker 1: of kids in mine, drug abuse, you know, domestic violence 287 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:59,000 Speaker 1: in the house. I was a seventies kid, so, um, 288 00:15:59,040 --> 00:16:02,120 Speaker 1: I saw a lot of at So I was practically 289 00:16:02,200 --> 00:16:07,600 Speaker 1: raised by my mom's But I gotta ask whoopings with switches? 290 00:16:07,760 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 1: My mom was from Gulfport, Mississippi, so I got a 291 00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 1: lot of that South treatment, you know. Um, I was 292 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:21,800 Speaker 1: scared of my mom's growing up. You know, I didn't 293 00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,960 Speaker 1: want to do ship to out of line because I 294 00:16:25,040 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 1: knew getting out of line sid She went outside and 295 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,640 Speaker 1: got a switch off the tree and usual to get 296 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:36,400 Speaker 1: your ass with. So how do you think that affects 297 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:43,840 Speaker 1: your relationship with women now? Like now? I I never 298 00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:48,240 Speaker 1: had a horrible relationships with women. I was I've never 299 00:16:48,320 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 1: been physical with women, you know. Um, I think that 300 00:16:53,840 --> 00:16:58,960 Speaker 1: just came from um watching what happened in my household 301 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:02,440 Speaker 1: as far as my dad and mom was concerned. So 302 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,439 Speaker 1: even though I went through the transitions of of gang 303 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:11,199 Speaker 1: banging and selling dope and all of that, and I 304 00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,960 Speaker 1: never used to what they could. I never hit on women. 305 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,960 Speaker 1: I never used to beat on female. Are you whatever? 306 00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:20,400 Speaker 1: All that ship, But I don't know, it was never 307 00:17:20,520 --> 00:17:24,560 Speaker 1: my forete because, like I said, growing up in the 308 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:29,360 Speaker 1: household with mom's and my sister, you know, but then 309 00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:35,119 Speaker 1: I still had unties around and you know, heavy in 310 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,040 Speaker 1: the church. You know, we had to go to Sunday 311 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:41,720 Speaker 1: school and all that type of ship. So I think 312 00:17:41,840 --> 00:17:44,320 Speaker 1: it kind of put me on the path to where 313 00:17:45,119 --> 00:17:48,160 Speaker 1: I wanted to be a straight kid. Like you said, 314 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:52,520 Speaker 1: you know your sons, they we have different choices nowadays. 315 00:17:53,680 --> 00:17:57,119 Speaker 1: I didn't really have too many choices. You know. Father 316 00:17:57,359 --> 00:18:01,720 Speaker 1: was gone, Mom struggled, she worked at I got influenced 317 00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:06,080 Speaker 1: by the streets at an early age because my mom's 318 00:18:06,119 --> 00:18:09,000 Speaker 1: worked from eleven o'clock at night to seven o'clock in 319 00:18:09,040 --> 00:18:12,679 Speaker 1: the morning. So I was left to the streets, you know, 320 00:18:12,840 --> 00:18:16,800 Speaker 1: me and my older sister. Um. So it wasn't the 321 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 1: fact that my mom's couldn't raise me or didn't teach 322 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:26,399 Speaker 1: me values because uh, that's why you know, I didn't 323 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:31,199 Speaker 1: go to the extreme as far as the ship I 324 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: got into, because I always used to think in the 325 00:18:34,080 --> 00:18:37,400 Speaker 1: back of my head, my mom's gonna fuck me up 326 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,399 Speaker 1: if I get caught or you know. So you know, 327 00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:43,960 Speaker 1: I started gang banging and doing all that ship. And 328 00:18:44,040 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 1: it wasn't necessarily because you know, you hear the stories 329 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:52,359 Speaker 1: of your my mom was on dope, my father was gone, 330 00:18:52,560 --> 00:18:57,240 Speaker 1: I had no I basically just I started gang banging 331 00:18:57,280 --> 00:19:03,360 Speaker 1: and ship as the rebellion of feeling like, you know, 332 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:10,320 Speaker 1: it's just what niggas did in my neighborhood and growing up. Um, 333 00:19:10,359 --> 00:19:13,560 Speaker 1: And then I guess because I didn't have a father around, 334 00:19:14,119 --> 00:19:18,119 Speaker 1: I started like still saying getting that little you know, 335 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:24,840 Speaker 1: because father wasn't around. And you know, fifteen sixteen, I'm 336 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:28,960 Speaker 1: seeing dudes slang dope and gang bang. So that gave 337 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:33,119 Speaker 1: me a little you know, it gave me a little 338 00:19:33,200 --> 00:19:37,320 Speaker 1: attitude is to where, um, you know, if my mom's 339 00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 1: would tell me something, you know, Uh, I don't think 340 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:44,120 Speaker 1: I ever got out of line or cuss my mom 341 00:19:44,119 --> 00:19:48,200 Speaker 1: out or talk ship like that. I just was influenced 342 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,040 Speaker 1: by the streets. Now, if my father was around who knows. 343 00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,960 Speaker 1: But my mom tried to do everything that a father 344 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:59,000 Speaker 1: would do. Uh. She put me in sports when she could. 345 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:05,359 Speaker 1: You know, she always participated at school and ship like that. Um, 346 00:20:05,440 --> 00:20:08,040 Speaker 1: she sent us to a private school. You know, me 347 00:20:08,119 --> 00:20:12,119 Speaker 1: and my sister So and we lived in one of 348 00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 1: the baddest parts of Compton. But you know, so your 349 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,760 Speaker 1: figures was from the street or that you didn't have. 350 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:23,880 Speaker 1: I didn't have no we I didn't have like, um, 351 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:28,280 Speaker 1: all the family who had transitioned from Mississippi to here, 352 00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 1: they were all females. There weren't There weren't no males here. 353 00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:38,000 Speaker 1: There were no uncles or big brothers or you know, 354 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:41,240 Speaker 1: I didn't have none of that. All my all my 355 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:46,600 Speaker 1: family were women, my aunties. I had like four aunties 356 00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:53,320 Speaker 1: who transitioned from Mississippi to California. So and they whole family. 357 00:20:53,359 --> 00:20:56,359 Speaker 1: It was like what seven eight girls and one boy. 358 00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 1: So I didn't have uncles and fluent said. My influences 359 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:05,720 Speaker 1: came from when moms went to work. You know, the 360 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:10,400 Speaker 1: sister boyfriend come over, he from so and so. He's 361 00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:13,199 Speaker 1: selling dope. He won't he won't when you walked to 362 00:21:13,280 --> 00:21:17,119 Speaker 1: the store down the street, sniggers on the corner banging 363 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,840 Speaker 1: and slanging, and you know, hey, hang with us, my 364 00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,359 Speaker 1: little nigga, Hey come to the store with us, my 365 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:27,280 Speaker 1: little I didn't have no male figure who was like, 366 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,919 Speaker 1: don't do that, you know. And my mom's because she 367 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,840 Speaker 1: was so busy with trying to raise us and pay 368 00:21:34,920 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 1: the bills. She next she didn't if you the asked her, 369 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:42,720 Speaker 1: oh no, my son, don't gang bang. Oh no, my son, 370 00:21:42,880 --> 00:21:47,919 Speaker 1: don't you know? Because at home, I still was the 371 00:21:47,960 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 1: disciplined kid. I wasn't the outrageous kid when I came 372 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:56,080 Speaker 1: off the block. You know. I'd go around the house, 373 00:21:56,520 --> 00:21:59,399 Speaker 1: tucked the gun, tucked the dope, and then come in 374 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:03,600 Speaker 1: the house and be yes, ma'am, no, ma'am, you get me. 375 00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 1: I never was like, oh man, fuck this ship Monty 376 00:22:07,359 --> 00:22:11,040 Speaker 1: wool up until I guess when you're a middle child, 377 00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:14,760 Speaker 1: you start feeling a little you know, my sister was 378 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,800 Speaker 1: older then my mom's had a young another child, so 379 00:22:19,119 --> 00:22:23,240 Speaker 1: I started feeling that middle child ship. You know, he 380 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:27,439 Speaker 1: getting she getting shipped. So that's what led me to 381 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 1: start gang banging and ship because I don't know, I 382 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:33,400 Speaker 1: was just trying to be rebellious. But I never felt 383 00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:41,439 Speaker 1: like my mom's did a bad job or like she 384 00:22:41,520 --> 00:22:45,119 Speaker 1: didn't raise me right, you get me, because if anything, 385 00:22:45,320 --> 00:22:49,679 Speaker 1: she tried to instill a lot of ship in me 386 00:22:49,960 --> 00:22:52,840 Speaker 1: to where I would grow up and be a righteous 387 00:22:52,880 --> 00:22:56,359 Speaker 1: you know, man, human being or whatever. But it was 388 00:22:56,440 --> 00:23:00,119 Speaker 1: just those. It was just those, like I guess, is 389 00:23:00,160 --> 00:23:02,439 Speaker 1: what you call the obstacles that you would have to 390 00:23:02,480 --> 00:23:05,000 Speaker 1: go through it sometimes as a young man, that you 391 00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:07,800 Speaker 1: have to figure out. And that's what I did in 392 00:23:07,880 --> 00:23:12,840 Speaker 1: those transitions of of from from sixteen seventeen of eighteen, 393 00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:15,800 Speaker 1: trying to find the identity of who I was gonna 394 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:20,640 Speaker 1: be because around me it was nothing but gang bangers 395 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:25,919 Speaker 1: and dope dealers. You know. Um, I lost the interest 396 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:32,359 Speaker 1: of being. Uh, you know what my mom tried to 397 00:23:32,560 --> 00:23:35,680 Speaker 1: instill in me, and I guess that that comes from 398 00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:37,440 Speaker 1: And I don't know if that would have happened if 399 00:23:37,440 --> 00:23:40,480 Speaker 1: my father was in the house, you get me. I mean, 400 00:23:40,520 --> 00:23:43,400 Speaker 1: does that does that affect your relationship with other men? 401 00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:47,600 Speaker 1: Because like I said to me, I think men are 402 00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:51,879 Speaker 1: more logical than women. So how do you think that 403 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,440 Speaker 1: affects your relationship with other men? Or how did it 404 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:59,840 Speaker 1: affect your relationship with other men? Um? I didn't have 405 00:24:00,119 --> 00:24:05,160 Speaker 1: too many relationships with other men as far as you know, 406 00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:10,720 Speaker 1: true friends. Instead, it took me until I got older interactions. 407 00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:18,000 Speaker 1: How do you think it affected your interactions with UM? 408 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:24,440 Speaker 1: I was. I really didn't interact with other men, so 409 00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:31,119 Speaker 1: to speak. I was always guarded, quiet, UH never wanted 410 00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:34,439 Speaker 1: to be around. I'm like that today. I don't like 411 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:36,639 Speaker 1: going a lot of places. I don't like being a 412 00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:40,280 Speaker 1: lot around a lot of people. UM, I could count 413 00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:46,719 Speaker 1: on probably my one hand the male friends I know 414 00:24:47,160 --> 00:24:50,000 Speaker 1: or have you get me? So, I don't know. I 415 00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:54,000 Speaker 1: guess it was just being raised by my mom and 416 00:24:54,080 --> 00:24:56,919 Speaker 1: my father not being around. It didn't give me a 417 00:24:57,000 --> 00:25:00,200 Speaker 1: resentment towards him because I still was able to talk 418 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:04,640 Speaker 1: to him. I mean, he was living in Oklahoma, got remarried. 419 00:25:04,680 --> 00:25:09,439 Speaker 1: But you know, UM, I just felt as as I 420 00:25:09,480 --> 00:25:15,240 Speaker 1: started growing up, uh, anything that transitioned with him had 421 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:19,639 Speaker 1: turned into like whatever, you know, And it took a 422 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:25,119 Speaker 1: while for uh me to communicate with him on a 423 00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:30,000 Speaker 1: regular you know. But I never had no resentment to like, man, 424 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:34,080 Speaker 1: fuck him and whatever. Whatever. You know. I was kind 425 00:25:34,080 --> 00:25:36,520 Speaker 1: of glad he left because I got tired of seeing 426 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:40,080 Speaker 1: my mom's fucked with you get me? So I didn't 427 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:43,720 Speaker 1: have a UH. I still used to go over his house. 428 00:25:43,760 --> 00:25:45,679 Speaker 1: I used to take some of the vacations to go 429 00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,040 Speaker 1: see him in Oklahoma. And I think when I got 430 00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:53,399 Speaker 1: to the point of maybe around seventeen eighteen and we 431 00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 1: had a disagreement, I stopped talking to him. I probably 432 00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:00,000 Speaker 1: didn't talk to him for ten years. My sister kept 433 00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:03,720 Speaker 1: My sister kept from contact with him a lot, and 434 00:26:04,040 --> 00:26:09,640 Speaker 1: UH up until he passed the nineties. Seven. I started 435 00:26:09,640 --> 00:26:13,359 Speaker 1: communicating with him, like probably a year before he passed, 436 00:26:13,600 --> 00:26:17,920 Speaker 1: But once I started doing my thing and was working 437 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:23,000 Speaker 1: and moving around, I just stopped communicating with him. You 438 00:26:23,080 --> 00:26:26,600 Speaker 1: know the interesting thing about that dynamic eight, the way 439 00:26:26,640 --> 00:26:29,840 Speaker 1: we are raised definitely influences the people that we eventually 440 00:26:29,880 --> 00:26:33,199 Speaker 1: come because eight is right. I've known eight for a 441 00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,000 Speaker 1: long time, and I swear the first year I was 442 00:26:36,040 --> 00:26:38,199 Speaker 1: just trying, you know, you're trying to get to know somebody, right, 443 00:26:39,080 --> 00:26:41,680 Speaker 1: He wouldn't hardly talk. Then the more we came around 444 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,080 Speaker 1: and started talking, he was actually talking to me and 445 00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:47,320 Speaker 1: laughing and joggling everything. One day and I was like, Okay, 446 00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,560 Speaker 1: I guess I finally get the meat. You know, Aaron, 447 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,600 Speaker 1: now you see what I'm saying. So he definitely checks 448 00:26:53,600 --> 00:26:57,600 Speaker 1: you out first before he He's definitely guarded and reserved 449 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:00,439 Speaker 1: around people. He don't do a whole lot of talking. 450 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:04,040 Speaker 1: You know. Now we have conversations, some really good conversations 451 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:06,800 Speaker 1: about everything about fatherhood, about what the boys are doing, 452 00:27:06,880 --> 00:27:10,560 Speaker 1: everything else, but mine was kind of the opposite. And um, 453 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,280 Speaker 1: one of the biggest things I learned to respect about 454 00:27:13,320 --> 00:27:15,960 Speaker 1: my mom is my father was a very abusive man. 455 00:27:17,160 --> 00:27:19,439 Speaker 1: But I never heard about that from my mom. I 456 00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,679 Speaker 1: heard about that later on from my uncle's as I 457 00:27:21,720 --> 00:27:24,159 Speaker 1: got older, because they didn't like him for whatever reason, 458 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:26,600 Speaker 1: and I would always wonder, why why don't you care 459 00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:28,399 Speaker 1: about my pops? Like why don't you like him? You 460 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,840 Speaker 1: always talking mess about him? And I got an uncle 461 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:32,960 Speaker 1: that just let me have it one day and told 462 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:35,160 Speaker 1: me that Nick he this and that one thing. Whem, 463 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 1: I had to fuck him up behind, like you know, 464 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,280 Speaker 1: And so it made me start looking at my pops 465 00:27:40,280 --> 00:27:43,679 Speaker 1: a little different because my mom's is my everything. So 466 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:46,040 Speaker 1: when I found about about that, and plus he did 467 00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,639 Speaker 1: some dumbship one time, like my pops still had a 468 00:27:48,640 --> 00:27:50,280 Speaker 1: lot of mature to do, and he told me that 469 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:53,960 Speaker 1: he apologized in so many words much later on in life, 470 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,919 Speaker 1: because it got to the point, I don't even have 471 00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:59,440 Speaker 1: my father's last name. I have my stepfather's last name, 472 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,040 Speaker 1: So it would be a time to war when he 473 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:05,480 Speaker 1: would come out here to California, great grandfather, like, we're 474 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,280 Speaker 1: cool and everything, my grand my kids know him as 475 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:11,359 Speaker 1: their grandfather and everything he comes out were kicking and 476 00:28:11,359 --> 00:28:13,480 Speaker 1: stuff like that. But we took a ride one day, 477 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 1: just going to the grocery store the street that wound 478 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:17,960 Speaker 1: up being a forty minute ride. I wound up a 479 00:28:18,040 --> 00:28:20,480 Speaker 1: riverside somewhere just wind up, you know, riding and talking 480 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:23,200 Speaker 1: to him, because his whole thing would be all the time, 481 00:28:23,359 --> 00:28:25,440 Speaker 1: why don't you change your last name and such and such? 482 00:28:25,480 --> 00:28:27,400 Speaker 1: You know you ain't this and that, And it kind 483 00:28:27,400 --> 00:28:29,359 Speaker 1: of pissed me off a little bit because I said, 484 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:33,159 Speaker 1: hold on, you had a choice. My last name was Munson, 485 00:28:33,200 --> 00:28:36,280 Speaker 1: which is my mama's maiden name up until I was 486 00:28:36,359 --> 00:28:39,160 Speaker 1: like eight year nine years old. You had plenty of 487 00:28:39,200 --> 00:28:41,400 Speaker 1: time during that period to come there and be like, hey, 488 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,480 Speaker 1: I need my son's last name, mon need to have 489 00:28:43,560 --> 00:28:46,000 Speaker 1: my name of the first certificate. But you wasn't the 490 00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,000 Speaker 1: wrong because you was hiding because you thought my mom 491 00:28:48,080 --> 00:28:50,400 Speaker 1: was trying to get you on child support. Whatever I 492 00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:53,000 Speaker 1: heard all about it, he was alright, you couldn't catch 493 00:28:53,080 --> 00:28:55,280 Speaker 1: him hiding and at its hiding the basements and everything 494 00:28:55,320 --> 00:29:01,360 Speaker 1: else to him. Yeah, said the tune. This happened to me. 495 00:29:01,520 --> 00:29:04,840 Speaker 1: I was maybe thirty five at the time, maybe thirty five. 496 00:29:06,080 --> 00:29:08,440 Speaker 1: I was already a grown man because he kept pressing 497 00:29:08,440 --> 00:29:10,480 Speaker 1: me over the years, and I got tired of being 498 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,680 Speaker 1: nice about it because it would piss me up all 499 00:29:13,800 --> 00:29:16,280 Speaker 1: be like, man, how dare you so the man that 500 00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:20,120 Speaker 1: did raised me? Willie Still he's dead right now. There's 501 00:29:20,160 --> 00:29:22,720 Speaker 1: no way I would dishonor his what he did for 502 00:29:22,840 --> 00:29:24,920 Speaker 1: me by just saying, you know what, what you did 503 00:29:24,920 --> 00:29:27,440 Speaker 1: for me, Pops, I'm gonna change my name because a 504 00:29:27,480 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 1: lot of who I am like that. My step Pops 505 00:29:30,600 --> 00:29:34,200 Speaker 1: was twenty five years older than my mom, so he 506 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:36,160 Speaker 1: was one of them dude to do to troll haird 507 00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:38,440 Speaker 1: the cigar all the time and would leave your suite 508 00:29:38,440 --> 00:29:42,080 Speaker 1: and throw the Cadillac right. But he didn't play no games. 509 00:29:42,480 --> 00:29:44,520 Speaker 1: He took care of our house, He took care of 510 00:29:44,600 --> 00:29:46,720 Speaker 1: all the bills. We had everything we wanted. He put 511 00:29:46,760 --> 00:29:48,920 Speaker 1: us in our first house. But he was always a 512 00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:50,800 Speaker 1: dude that went to work. So it was no laying 513 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,000 Speaker 1: up in Wheel's house. You wouldn't go lay up to 514 00:29:53,080 --> 00:29:55,120 Speaker 1: nine or ten o'clock in the morning. You know, you 515 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:59,600 Speaker 1: said your people some god Ford eight. My family was 516 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,800 Speaker 1: from of Port, Mrs. And my father was from Tampa, Florida, 517 00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:09,200 Speaker 1: So I come from South Um. But I correctly what 518 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:12,360 Speaker 1: I'm doing. What I can say is I don't know 519 00:30:12,440 --> 00:30:15,920 Speaker 1: if Derek is uh you know, and I guess women 520 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:19,479 Speaker 1: could you know, you could y'all could answer this. Do 521 00:30:19,560 --> 00:30:22,880 Speaker 1: you feel if as a single mother, there is a 522 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:26,960 Speaker 1: point in time to where if you have a son 523 00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:31,960 Speaker 1: that he needs that may all influence to take him 524 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:35,120 Speaker 1: to the next level as far as being a man, 525 00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:40,040 Speaker 1: do you feel that you need that man figure to 526 00:30:40,080 --> 00:30:43,920 Speaker 1: be able to raise your son or give him the 527 00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:48,560 Speaker 1: guidance to be a certain type of man, or do 528 00:30:48,640 --> 00:30:53,680 Speaker 1: you feel like as mama should I got this? No, 529 00:30:56,920 --> 00:31:02,040 Speaker 1: I mean, I've had this so, I mean, but I 530 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:04,840 Speaker 1: did come to a point in life where I was 531 00:31:04,920 --> 00:31:07,160 Speaker 1: just like shit. I think it was when he got 532 00:31:07,200 --> 00:31:14,200 Speaker 1: about maybe like fourteen or fifteen. May I think ye again, 533 00:31:14,400 --> 00:31:17,680 Speaker 1: like it's certain stuff that he got to be going 534 00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:19,720 Speaker 1: through or you know what I'm saying that he my 535 00:31:19,800 --> 00:31:22,400 Speaker 1: son is like introverted. Like now he's like now he 536 00:31:22,440 --> 00:31:24,880 Speaker 1: goes out, he does his thing, he has a little click, 537 00:31:24,960 --> 00:31:26,920 Speaker 1: he does whatever. But it took him a while to 538 00:31:26,960 --> 00:31:28,560 Speaker 1: even do all that. Like I used to sit there 539 00:31:28,600 --> 00:31:32,040 Speaker 1: and be like, you don't guard like you do you lucky, 540 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,080 Speaker 1: like you let him be him. He gonna do what 541 00:31:34,160 --> 00:31:39,040 Speaker 1: you do. So yeah, like he literally, like I said, 542 00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:41,680 Speaker 1: he was just pretty much like into his computers and 543 00:31:41,800 --> 00:31:45,760 Speaker 1: just reading and like stuff like that. He really wasn't 544 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:47,920 Speaker 1: like you, He'll come and socialize with the family for 545 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:51,320 Speaker 1: a minute like whatever. But but that's when I mean, 546 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:53,480 Speaker 1: you were sending them down to pop us house for 547 00:31:54,800 --> 00:31:57,840 Speaker 1: you have male influences. Right, So my brother, like my 548 00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,040 Speaker 1: brothers live out here, lives in Diego, but whenever to 549 00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,959 Speaker 1: get a chance. But then they talked like you know, 550 00:32:03,080 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 1: face time or whatever, like they talk or whatever, or 551 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,200 Speaker 1: like if I felt some type of way, I'd be 552 00:32:07,240 --> 00:32:10,880 Speaker 1: like I'll call my brother like hey, like I wis 553 00:32:10,880 --> 00:32:12,520 Speaker 1: should I do? And He's like I'm gonna call him, 554 00:32:12,560 --> 00:32:14,640 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So my brother like really 555 00:32:14,640 --> 00:32:18,080 Speaker 1: helped me a lot um in that situation. Like his 556 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:19,920 Speaker 1: dad was there, but his dad I think that his 557 00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:22,520 Speaker 1: dad doesn't. I don't think that he was really taught 558 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:27,760 Speaker 1: really how to. I don't know. I want to say, 559 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,560 Speaker 1: be a father, but he just really doesn't. He don't 560 00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:36,920 Speaker 1: really talk that much. I think, Um, I was a 561 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:41,680 Speaker 1: young father. Um I had my first kid when I 562 00:32:41,720 --> 00:32:49,960 Speaker 1: was seventeen. Um I just started wrapping, um still gaging, banging, 563 00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:54,960 Speaker 1: still trying to be in the streets. So I don't 564 00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:58,960 Speaker 1: think that um I was ready to be a father. 565 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:04,120 Speaker 1: You know, as far as I didn't know Ship, you 566 00:33:04,200 --> 00:33:08,840 Speaker 1: get me, I didn't know and not being not being 567 00:33:08,960 --> 00:33:13,920 Speaker 1: raised by a father, basically, ship, what am I supposed 568 00:33:13,960 --> 00:33:18,120 Speaker 1: to do as a father when Ship my father left 569 00:33:18,880 --> 00:33:22,120 Speaker 1: when I was like ship five six? You know everything 570 00:33:22,200 --> 00:33:27,960 Speaker 1: I saw my mother do you know? So, Um, when 571 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,560 Speaker 1: I had my first kid, my daughter, you know, I 572 00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:37,720 Speaker 1: tried to do stuff that I knew my dad didn't 573 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:41,280 Speaker 1: do right, but it was a hard and then she 574 00:33:41,400 --> 00:33:45,920 Speaker 1: was a girl, so you know, Mama was there, Mama whatever. 575 00:33:46,240 --> 00:33:51,520 Speaker 1: So but when I had my son, knowing that my 576 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 1: father was in around, uh that that influenced me more 577 00:33:56,680 --> 00:34:00,840 Speaker 1: to wanna be a game, joined the game, sell dope 578 00:34:00,840 --> 00:34:04,000 Speaker 1: and be on the negative. Even though my mom's tried 579 00:34:04,040 --> 00:34:07,040 Speaker 1: to do everything she could. Like you, she tried to 580 00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:12,720 Speaker 1: do everything she could. But when me and his mom, 581 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:16,719 Speaker 1: you know, separated, whatever, my first thing was, I'm gonna 582 00:34:16,760 --> 00:34:20,200 Speaker 1: tak him to stay with me. He was what we 583 00:34:20,320 --> 00:34:22,960 Speaker 1: tried to stay together. I don't know from the time 584 00:34:23,000 --> 00:34:26,120 Speaker 1: he was born, because I don't know. I think I 585 00:34:26,239 --> 00:34:34,319 Speaker 1: wanted to have him have the sense of of of family, right, 586 00:34:34,880 --> 00:34:40,000 Speaker 1: you know, maybe his life will turn a little differently 587 00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:44,000 Speaker 1: than the struggle I went through of having a single 588 00:34:44,400 --> 00:34:49,880 Speaker 1: moment the house. So you know, we moved in together, 589 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,640 Speaker 1: and you know, from the time he was born to 590 00:34:53,719 --> 00:34:56,799 Speaker 1: the time he was about eight years old, you know, 591 00:34:56,920 --> 00:35:02,279 Speaker 1: we did everything uh enrode in and forwards through programs, 592 00:35:02,320 --> 00:35:05,120 Speaker 1: all that, moved all the way out of the city, 593 00:35:05,239 --> 00:35:09,520 Speaker 1: maybe hour and a half outside of l A to 594 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:13,799 Speaker 1: give the I was feeling like maybe this could lead 595 00:35:13,840 --> 00:35:17,080 Speaker 1: to a difference. And then so when we separated and 596 00:35:17,120 --> 00:35:20,920 Speaker 1: it was time for us to go our separates, I 597 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:24,040 Speaker 1: took him with me. He was eleven and he's been 598 00:35:24,040 --> 00:35:27,320 Speaker 1: with me ever since. And from the time he was five, 599 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:32,319 Speaker 1: signed him up for football and I started coaching and 600 00:35:32,719 --> 00:35:37,240 Speaker 1: you know, everything that had something to do with him, 601 00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:40,880 Speaker 1: and as far as represented as a father. I tried 602 00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:45,120 Speaker 1: to do that because I didn't have that, so I 603 00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:48,360 Speaker 1: figured maybe that would that would make a different path 604 00:35:48,520 --> 00:35:55,280 Speaker 1: for him and would teach him differently than how I 605 00:35:55,320 --> 00:35:59,600 Speaker 1: was towards you know, females coming up or whatever whatever. 606 00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:03,400 Speaker 1: So I can say he's totally different than what I 607 00:36:03,440 --> 00:36:06,719 Speaker 1: was as a teenager. You get me. He stays in 608 00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:09,960 Speaker 1: the house, he his friends, he plays sports. You know, 609 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:14,880 Speaker 1: he uh no trouble, never gotten any fights or anything 610 00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:17,400 Speaker 1: like that. So I just tried to feel like maybe 611 00:36:17,440 --> 00:36:19,880 Speaker 1: you know the influence of trying to have a father 612 00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:24,080 Speaker 1: in the household. It helps them. It gives the kids 613 00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:27,480 Speaker 1: a little more you know, it's always good to have 614 00:36:27,640 --> 00:36:30,319 Speaker 1: both parents in the kids. Like I mean, you don't 615 00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:35,879 Speaker 1: have to necessarily be together, but I do think that, um, 616 00:36:35,960 --> 00:36:38,399 Speaker 1: you know, there's a lot of strong women out here 617 00:36:38,560 --> 00:36:41,759 Speaker 1: who can do it on their own, but just the 618 00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:45,759 Speaker 1: influence of having that that strong male figure, because like 619 00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:48,560 Speaker 1: I said, I've seen a lot of kids coming through 620 00:36:48,600 --> 00:36:54,319 Speaker 1: football who dad's never came to practice, you get me. 621 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:57,440 Speaker 1: And I would wonder how that would make kids feel, 622 00:36:58,120 --> 00:37:02,040 Speaker 1: you know, seeing that I'm with my son seven, you 623 00:37:02,160 --> 00:37:05,920 Speaker 1: get me, whether it's taking him to school, picking him 624 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:08,680 Speaker 1: up from school, taking him to practice, picking him up 625 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:12,240 Speaker 1: for practice. I just wanted to show the presence because 626 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:15,560 Speaker 1: back in my days, like I said, a lot of 627 00:37:15,680 --> 00:37:19,879 Speaker 1: us who didn't know how to be fathers was absent. Yeah, 628 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:23,439 Speaker 1: we got girls, We got girls pregnant back then, and 629 00:37:24,080 --> 00:37:27,880 Speaker 1: wasn't like we were something. He was living down the street, 630 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,839 Speaker 1: you know, around the corner. It's just that niggas didn't 631 00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:33,799 Speaker 1: know how to be fathers. We wasn't talked, so a 632 00:37:33,800 --> 00:37:36,640 Speaker 1: lot of women had to raise kids on their own, 633 00:37:36,920 --> 00:37:40,560 Speaker 1: and a lot of like I would never like again, 634 00:37:40,760 --> 00:37:43,520 Speaker 1: I would never say that a woman couldn't raise a man. 635 00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:47,680 Speaker 1: But there were certain things that a man could teach us, uh, 636 00:37:47,719 --> 00:37:50,680 Speaker 1: you know, his son that a woman couldn't do. But 637 00:37:51,880 --> 00:37:54,600 Speaker 1: my mom's was a single mom, So I would never 638 00:37:54,640 --> 00:37:57,720 Speaker 1: be in a position to say that a woman couldn't 639 00:37:57,800 --> 00:38:01,640 Speaker 1: raise a man because ship I didn't come out saw 640 00:38:01,800 --> 00:38:03,840 Speaker 1: for nothing like that. My mama was hard on me 641 00:38:04,440 --> 00:38:08,760 Speaker 1: comment growing up. You know, women have definitely proven throughout 642 00:38:08,920 --> 00:38:13,160 Speaker 1: history that they are capable of raising men because we 643 00:38:13,280 --> 00:38:15,560 Speaker 1: are result of that. Even though I did have strong man. 644 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:18,120 Speaker 1: I'm gonna go back to something you said eight. I 645 00:38:18,160 --> 00:38:21,560 Speaker 1: think that with men, we either go one or two ways. 646 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:24,280 Speaker 1: If we had a horrible male figure in our life, 647 00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,880 Speaker 1: we usually transferred that pain over. You got some guys 648 00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:30,000 Speaker 1: that transferred that pain and they become even worse than 649 00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:33,120 Speaker 1: their father was. And you got guys like me and eight. 650 00:38:33,400 --> 00:38:36,160 Speaker 1: They said, you know what, I was always the half 651 00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:39,720 Speaker 1: brother in the house like Pops. My mama had kids. 652 00:38:39,880 --> 00:38:42,520 Speaker 1: You know, my two brothers had the same datty. I 653 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:44,840 Speaker 1: always felt kind of left out a little bit, and 654 00:38:44,880 --> 00:38:46,879 Speaker 1: I think that's why he gave me his last name. 655 00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:49,000 Speaker 1: That made me feel a little bit better. But in 656 00:38:49,040 --> 00:38:51,480 Speaker 1: the back of my mind, I still knew Man. I 657 00:38:51,560 --> 00:38:53,080 Speaker 1: wish I could be in the house man where we 658 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:56,240 Speaker 1: all had the same father, because in reality, I should 659 00:38:56,280 --> 00:38:58,520 Speaker 1: sit back and wish that that was my father, because 660 00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,160 Speaker 1: he just carried himself in his way, like he always 661 00:39:01,200 --> 00:39:04,600 Speaker 1: had a bankroll. He was always sharp, but he always 662 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:07,400 Speaker 1: went to work. He didn't do no illegal he wasn't 663 00:39:07,400 --> 00:39:10,520 Speaker 1: with no illegal activity. He said, if you want something, 664 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:11,880 Speaker 1: you get up and work for us. So that was 665 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:14,719 Speaker 1: my role model. So when I had my kids and 666 00:39:14,719 --> 00:39:18,400 Speaker 1: when I met my woman as my wife, now I 667 00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,520 Speaker 1: kind of said, man against all, I'm gonna make my 668 00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:24,640 Speaker 1: family work. I'm gonna be with just one woman my 669 00:39:24,719 --> 00:39:27,879 Speaker 1: whole life, and that's my son. If we have more kids, 670 00:39:27,960 --> 00:39:29,960 Speaker 1: I don't care. She can't stand me. We used to 671 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:33,759 Speaker 1: be having kids together. You feel what I'm saying. We 672 00:39:33,840 --> 00:39:36,239 Speaker 1: were just gonna keep this family together because I never 673 00:39:36,280 --> 00:39:38,680 Speaker 1: wanted my family and I never wanted my kids to 674 00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:40,719 Speaker 1: feel like, you know, if she got with somebody else 675 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,799 Speaker 1: later on, that they was the one outside looking in 676 00:39:43,920 --> 00:39:47,160 Speaker 1: kind of you feel me. So I've always made sure 677 00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:50,239 Speaker 1: to overly be there for my kids and be because 678 00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:52,720 Speaker 1: he one thing that my pops wasn't my step pops. 679 00:39:53,360 --> 00:39:55,560 Speaker 1: He didn't believe, and no kind of emotion like he 680 00:39:55,719 --> 00:39:57,560 Speaker 1: wasn't a type those gonna give you no hug. His 681 00:39:57,640 --> 00:39:59,440 Speaker 1: way is showing you he loved he was by paying 682 00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:01,839 Speaker 1: them build and making sure you had food to tell 683 00:40:01,960 --> 00:40:03,839 Speaker 1: He wasn't gonna do all that stuff, but he did. 684 00:40:04,000 --> 00:40:06,920 Speaker 1: Let you know. I knew later on because when he died, 685 00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:10,040 Speaker 1: I hadn't talked to him and about probably like eight years. 686 00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:12,480 Speaker 1: I have my own issues because he needs to with 687 00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:16,080 Speaker 1: my ass. But me looking back at it, it wasn't 688 00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,120 Speaker 1: just me, because he woke my brother's ass too. That 689 00:40:18,200 --> 00:40:20,080 Speaker 1: was just his get down right. So I was kind 690 00:40:20,080 --> 00:40:23,359 Speaker 1: of mad about some things, um, and he was on 691 00:40:23,400 --> 00:40:25,600 Speaker 1: his deathbed and he was telling me he couldn't talk, 692 00:40:25,760 --> 00:40:27,480 Speaker 1: and it took me a lot to call him. But 693 00:40:27,520 --> 00:40:30,160 Speaker 1: when I called him, his wife had said, this is 694 00:40:30,200 --> 00:40:32,799 Speaker 1: amazing because this is the first time he's actually been 695 00:40:32,840 --> 00:40:35,200 Speaker 1: able to talk to you. You know that man died 696 00:40:35,239 --> 00:40:39,840 Speaker 1: three hours after he talked to me, so he was 697 00:40:39,920 --> 00:40:41,920 Speaker 1: waiting to talk to me. It was like because he 698 00:40:42,000 --> 00:40:44,520 Speaker 1: kept saying, because he the only want to call me, Norman, 699 00:40:44,560 --> 00:40:46,400 Speaker 1: Tell Norman to call me. I don't know what I 700 00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:47,840 Speaker 1: did to him for him not to call me. And 701 00:40:47,880 --> 00:40:50,440 Speaker 1: I would always have attentions, but you always got excuses 702 00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:53,239 Speaker 1: like I'm too busy and the way I was still 703 00:40:53,320 --> 00:40:55,080 Speaker 1: less scared. Look, kids, I used to be scared of 704 00:40:55,120 --> 00:40:58,759 Speaker 1: Pops man. Pops didn't play no games. And it wasn't know, 705 00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,280 Speaker 1: negotiating your way out of nothing, because he would whoop 706 00:41:01,320 --> 00:41:03,200 Speaker 1: your ass or whatever it was around. If a lamp, 707 00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:06,040 Speaker 1: if an extinction cord to a lamp post around, I 708 00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:08,160 Speaker 1: don't see them. Next cords off a lamp from the 709 00:41:08,200 --> 00:41:11,239 Speaker 1: back of TVs and everything else up like them where 710 00:41:11,239 --> 00:41:12,880 Speaker 1: he could then he could take his built off and 711 00:41:12,960 --> 00:41:14,799 Speaker 1: one swoop bab he would just reach down and just 712 00:41:15,239 --> 00:41:18,080 Speaker 1: one swoop this built coming off, and I would just 713 00:41:18,120 --> 00:41:20,839 Speaker 1: be like, damn, this dude didn't have no mercy. But 714 00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,239 Speaker 1: I looked, I looked back at it. That's why a 715 00:41:24,239 --> 00:41:26,400 Speaker 1: lot of my friends that didn't have that discipline it 716 00:41:26,480 --> 00:41:29,759 Speaker 1: was running around on the East Side, they did, they 717 00:41:29,800 --> 00:41:32,319 Speaker 1: wound up dead. I saw friends getting hold off the 718 00:41:32,360 --> 00:41:35,279 Speaker 1: prison at sixteen. At fifteen eight, you don't see that 719 00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:41,560 Speaker 1: same stuff. Eight. Yeah, it's And I'm said, um, you 720 00:41:41,640 --> 00:41:44,400 Speaker 1: have something like some situations to where you just didn't 721 00:41:44,400 --> 00:41:46,719 Speaker 1: have mymas who didn't give a damn if you had 722 00:41:46,719 --> 00:41:50,200 Speaker 1: them single families, and you knew the knuckle head niggers 723 00:41:50,200 --> 00:41:54,000 Speaker 1: in the neighborhood, and and and and the females who 724 00:41:54,080 --> 00:41:57,279 Speaker 1: was on the wrong path. I'm just thankful that I 725 00:41:57,360 --> 00:42:03,080 Speaker 1: had a strong I had a strong who would not 726 00:42:03,360 --> 00:42:07,319 Speaker 1: let us, you know, go down that wrong pattern. I 727 00:42:07,360 --> 00:42:10,560 Speaker 1: can't say I was the straightest kid you get me. 728 00:42:11,040 --> 00:42:16,360 Speaker 1: I got into some trouble and I don't and I 729 00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:21,560 Speaker 1: don't necessarily think that's because my father wasn't around. I 730 00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:26,680 Speaker 1: was just I was just a kid who I was smart, 731 00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:31,320 Speaker 1: but then I played dumb. You get me. I was smart, 732 00:42:31,400 --> 00:42:35,319 Speaker 1: but then I played dumb because I knew damn well 733 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:37,520 Speaker 1: some of the ship I did was gonna get me 734 00:42:37,600 --> 00:42:41,920 Speaker 1: in trouble. But that wasn't because I didn't have the 735 00:42:42,080 --> 00:42:44,840 Speaker 1: right upbringing ship. I was just because I wanted to 736 00:42:44,840 --> 00:42:51,760 Speaker 1: be a motherfucking curious, dumb kid. You know, go ahead, 737 00:42:51,800 --> 00:42:53,640 Speaker 1: you so sorry to cut you off, but let me 738 00:42:53,680 --> 00:42:57,040 Speaker 1: ask this because I just thought about this, right. You know, 739 00:42:57,200 --> 00:42:59,239 Speaker 1: you've got a lot of women that don't want to 740 00:42:59,560 --> 00:43:01,640 Speaker 1: baby that you're wrong at all, and they take the 741 00:43:01,719 --> 00:43:04,080 Speaker 1: kids from the you know, they take the kid and 742 00:43:04,080 --> 00:43:09,160 Speaker 1: pretty much going to hide into whatever. Now sometimes I'm 743 00:43:09,200 --> 00:43:11,600 Speaker 1: against that, don't get me wrong. But sometimes if that 744 00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:14,640 Speaker 1: motherfucker is abusive and just don't mean no damn good, 745 00:43:14,680 --> 00:43:18,080 Speaker 1: I think sometimes and he was best that he's excommunicated 746 00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:22,120 Speaker 1: from the kid's life, because sometimes the type of niggas 747 00:43:22,120 --> 00:43:26,600 Speaker 1: can do more harm than good. Like you said, if 748 00:43:26,600 --> 00:43:29,560 Speaker 1: could either get it to where they're gonna mimic that 749 00:43:29,680 --> 00:43:32,960 Speaker 1: said later, or they made the opposite. Like my brother, 750 00:43:33,239 --> 00:43:35,640 Speaker 1: he valid he wasn't gonna be like my father. Like 751 00:43:35,719 --> 00:43:37,879 Speaker 1: my father was was a good dude. He just had 752 00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:40,040 Speaker 1: like demons. You know what I'm saying he's an alcoholic 753 00:43:40,120 --> 00:43:43,279 Speaker 1: or whatever. And he wasn't always like that, but you know, 754 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:44,880 Speaker 1: once he got our jail and stuff like that, he 755 00:43:45,000 --> 00:43:47,200 Speaker 1: just turned to liquor and stuff like that. So he 756 00:43:47,320 --> 00:43:49,719 Speaker 1: really wasn't able to really be there for us like 757 00:43:49,960 --> 00:43:52,400 Speaker 1: you know he should have, you know, so my brother, 758 00:43:52,640 --> 00:43:54,920 Speaker 1: you know, he did have a lot of resentment for that. 759 00:43:54,960 --> 00:43:56,640 Speaker 1: And when you were younger and Ship like, you were 760 00:43:56,680 --> 00:43:59,120 Speaker 1: like I'm running away and stuff like that, and I'll 761 00:43:59,120 --> 00:44:00,560 Speaker 1: have to go chase him, like you ain't gonna know 762 00:44:00,560 --> 00:44:03,879 Speaker 1: what you told about your stuff like that. But now 763 00:44:04,239 --> 00:44:06,000 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. He's a father, he's married, 764 00:44:06,000 --> 00:44:09,520 Speaker 1: he's America twenty years, he got um, he got to 765 00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:15,640 Speaker 1: two kids, and he's at every basketball game whatever, like football, 766 00:44:15,760 --> 00:44:18,680 Speaker 1: whatever some want to do like he did, total opposite. 767 00:44:18,680 --> 00:44:22,120 Speaker 1: So you can have those things where sometimes maybe a 768 00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:24,239 Speaker 1: bad influence and you may be like, oh him, I'm 769 00:44:24,280 --> 00:44:26,160 Speaker 1: never gonna be like I'm never gonna make my child 770 00:44:26,200 --> 00:44:28,640 Speaker 1: feel that way or never be that way. Or then 771 00:44:28,640 --> 00:44:30,279 Speaker 1: you may be like, oh, Ship, this is how it 772 00:44:30,360 --> 00:44:33,880 Speaker 1: was supposed to be. So I'm be hall. You know, 773 00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:36,640 Speaker 1: I was taught so it can be. I mean, I've 774 00:44:36,680 --> 00:44:40,200 Speaker 1: never um like I said, yeah, you can. You can. 775 00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:42,560 Speaker 1: You can flip that ship. You can take a bad 776 00:44:42,640 --> 00:44:46,360 Speaker 1: situation and if you have the right attitude in the 777 00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:49,759 Speaker 1: common sense to I ain't gonna be like that. I'm 778 00:44:49,800 --> 00:44:55,800 Speaker 1: gonna be different. You know. I never, um, I probably 779 00:44:55,880 --> 00:44:58,960 Speaker 1: can't even never recall the time where my pops told 780 00:44:58,960 --> 00:45:04,960 Speaker 1: me he loved me. Never. But I make sure every 781 00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:07,359 Speaker 1: day when my son go to school to tell him 782 00:45:07,360 --> 00:45:11,040 Speaker 1: I love him and that ship is crazy, because I 783 00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:15,760 Speaker 1: don't want him growing up to feel like my Posts 784 00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:19,520 Speaker 1: was just hard as motherfucker. You know, my Post used 785 00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,719 Speaker 1: the gang Bang and he's known for making them records 786 00:45:22,760 --> 00:45:26,240 Speaker 1: and being in the movies, and he was just hard. 787 00:45:26,960 --> 00:45:31,280 Speaker 1: And started realizing like, man, you gotta change the narrative. 788 00:45:31,320 --> 00:45:34,399 Speaker 1: Because I was sitting down talking to somebody one day 789 00:45:34,880 --> 00:45:37,640 Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, no, we didn't do that ship. 790 00:45:38,360 --> 00:45:41,800 Speaker 1: You know, we well, nobody's sitting around the house talking 791 00:45:41,800 --> 00:45:44,000 Speaker 1: about you know, we're getting ready to leave and go 792 00:45:44,080 --> 00:45:46,640 Speaker 1: out to the hood or something. And the motherfucker be like, 793 00:45:46,680 --> 00:45:49,200 Speaker 1: all right, be careful, I love you. We didn't do 794 00:45:49,280 --> 00:45:52,560 Speaker 1: that ship in my household. It was ship. I mean, 795 00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:56,800 Speaker 1: we we just didn't do it, you get me. Uh, 796 00:45:57,080 --> 00:45:59,680 Speaker 1: not that it was in love because I talked to 797 00:45:59,760 --> 00:46:02,000 Speaker 1: my m every day and every time we get off 798 00:46:02,000 --> 00:46:04,279 Speaker 1: the phone, it's like, Okay, I love you, Okay, I 799 00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:09,040 Speaker 1: love you too. But me growing up in Compton and 800 00:46:09,320 --> 00:46:14,480 Speaker 1: gang infested in moms, you know, going through the divorce 801 00:46:14,600 --> 00:46:17,239 Speaker 1: and all that other ship and we're living in the 802 00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:21,080 Speaker 1: hood and all, but nobody talking about I love you 803 00:46:21,160 --> 00:46:25,880 Speaker 1: and my moa fucking household. It was just like, uh, 804 00:46:26,040 --> 00:46:31,759 Speaker 1: be careful, watch out and knowing the situation. So from 805 00:46:31,800 --> 00:46:34,000 Speaker 1: what I've seen growing up, as I said, I had 806 00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:38,200 Speaker 1: to change that narrative. So you know, any time my 807 00:46:38,239 --> 00:46:40,719 Speaker 1: son we get ready to go play his football game 808 00:46:40,800 --> 00:46:43,440 Speaker 1: on Friday nights, I make sure I send him a 809 00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:45,960 Speaker 1: long text message and at the end tell him I 810 00:46:46,080 --> 00:46:49,600 Speaker 1: love them no matter what happens, you know tonight. And 811 00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,080 Speaker 1: I never told my pops, hey, I love you too, 812 00:46:54,160 --> 00:46:56,359 Speaker 1: but he with no problem, Hey I love you too, 813 00:46:56,520 --> 00:46:59,640 Speaker 1: Pops and whatever whatever. So it's starting to change the 814 00:46:59,760 --> 00:47:02,960 Speaker 1: narrow ative of of what I saw and what I 815 00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:06,200 Speaker 1: grew up as and saw in my household that I 816 00:47:06,239 --> 00:47:08,960 Speaker 1: want him to take that to me differently because you 817 00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:11,440 Speaker 1: didn't change that. I didn't have to grow up and 818 00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:15,440 Speaker 1: be the alcoholic, let me let me, you know, abuse 819 00:47:15,600 --> 00:47:18,480 Speaker 1: my woman and then have my kids scared of me 820 00:47:18,640 --> 00:47:23,120 Speaker 1: and crazy and dominating the household. I I didn't want that. 821 00:47:23,320 --> 00:47:27,120 Speaker 1: I wanted my kids to feel comfortable and loved and 822 00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:31,359 Speaker 1: the ship that people see on TV, like, you know, 823 00:47:32,080 --> 00:47:34,160 Speaker 1: we do that ship to here. Oh yeah, I tell 824 00:47:34,239 --> 00:47:36,960 Speaker 1: my kids we love them and yeah we got Christmas 825 00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,759 Speaker 1: lights on the house and Santa Claus floats in the 826 00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:42,520 Speaker 1: front yard and all that ship. You know. I want 827 00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:45,440 Speaker 1: to give them a sense of being normal too, and 828 00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:50,080 Speaker 1: not being that different narrative of of of the black household. 829 00:47:50,320 --> 00:47:54,359 Speaker 1: You get me the father who left or don't never 830 00:47:54,480 --> 00:47:56,880 Speaker 1: tell the kids he loved them. And it's just hard 831 00:47:57,040 --> 00:47:59,760 Speaker 1: and well, I grew up from Compton and we gained 832 00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:03,040 Speaker 1: and you ain't supposed to tell the motherfucker you love 833 00:48:03,120 --> 00:48:06,160 Speaker 1: them and that type of ship. So you know, you 834 00:48:06,239 --> 00:48:08,719 Speaker 1: just have to be different, man. I think you know, 835 00:48:08,840 --> 00:48:11,840 Speaker 1: you gotta take from what you've seen or what you 836 00:48:11,920 --> 00:48:15,080 Speaker 1: saw growing up in in your household and what your 837 00:48:15,120 --> 00:48:18,400 Speaker 1: father might have done or mother might have done, and 838 00:48:18,440 --> 00:48:20,719 Speaker 1: you just have to change that for the better. I mean, 839 00:48:20,760 --> 00:48:25,160 Speaker 1: because we got so much resources and and ship that 840 00:48:25,200 --> 00:48:27,800 Speaker 1: we can that we don't have to live the way 841 00:48:27,840 --> 00:48:30,759 Speaker 1: that they did or what we saw. So that's why 842 00:48:30,760 --> 00:48:33,880 Speaker 1: I say, you can never put anybody in the position 843 00:48:33,920 --> 00:48:37,480 Speaker 1: of saying being a single mother, father or whatever. Man, 844 00:48:37,600 --> 00:48:39,560 Speaker 1: you just have to be able to raise the kids 845 00:48:39,680 --> 00:48:42,640 Speaker 1: right and put them on the path of being better 846 00:48:42,680 --> 00:48:45,759 Speaker 1: than the situation of what you came with, because you know, 847 00:48:45,920 --> 00:48:48,960 Speaker 1: I feel I came up pretty hard, so I didn't 848 00:48:49,000 --> 00:48:52,239 Speaker 1: want my kids to have to come up like that. Yeah, 849 00:48:52,280 --> 00:48:55,319 Speaker 1: for real, for real, how is your relationship with your 850 00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:57,879 Speaker 1: pops coming up? Because we always talk about the you know, 851 00:48:58,480 --> 00:49:03,560 Speaker 1: man's relationship with the mom. I know, daughters and their 852 00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:09,120 Speaker 1: fathers are typically pretty close, right. Yeah. I had a 853 00:49:09,120 --> 00:49:14,719 Speaker 1: relationship with with my dad. He was him, my mom 854 00:49:14,840 --> 00:49:19,319 Speaker 1: was married, they divorced. When I was like to my dad, um, 855 00:49:20,719 --> 00:49:26,000 Speaker 1: you know, he was an alcoholic, he was out like, um, 856 00:49:26,000 --> 00:49:29,080 Speaker 1: he's out there. My mom would actually like drop me 857 00:49:29,120 --> 00:49:31,799 Speaker 1: off over to his sister's house because she knew he 858 00:49:31,800 --> 00:49:35,960 Speaker 1: would kind of be around, you know, and she still 859 00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:38,080 Speaker 1: wanted me to be able to like see him. So 860 00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:41,279 Speaker 1: my dad he was a bummer at one point where 861 00:49:41,280 --> 00:49:45,000 Speaker 1: I would play checkers with him or just like, you know, 862 00:49:45,120 --> 00:49:47,680 Speaker 1: he'll be around in the neighborhood and kids and be like, 863 00:49:47,719 --> 00:49:52,400 Speaker 1: oh that you know that's your dad or whatever. But um, 864 00:49:52,480 --> 00:49:55,480 Speaker 1: he got itself together and he stepped up. I had 865 00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:59,279 Speaker 1: to go live with him at one point. Um he 866 00:49:59,400 --> 00:50:01,719 Speaker 1: had he laughed, and when he came back, my mom 867 00:50:01,920 --> 00:50:04,520 Speaker 1: was in a situation where I needed to go live 868 00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:07,719 Speaker 1: with him, and we had a good relationship. My dad, though, 869 00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:12,000 Speaker 1: was very like I think only got one I don't 870 00:50:12,000 --> 00:50:14,040 Speaker 1: even think I got a whip in Like he hit 871 00:50:14,120 --> 00:50:17,560 Speaker 1: me like once and he cried about it. Like my 872 00:50:17,640 --> 00:50:22,760 Speaker 1: dad was very like I pretty much got to do 873 00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:26,880 Speaker 1: what I wanted. I live with my mom, my stepdad, 874 00:50:27,000 --> 00:50:32,319 Speaker 1: my stepdad, my stepdad. He was we we got into 875 00:50:32,360 --> 00:50:34,920 Speaker 1: it many of times. We bumped heads many of times. 876 00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:36,960 Speaker 1: You know, he was one of those streets dudes. It 877 00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,800 Speaker 1: was like in the streets or whatever. You know. Always 878 00:50:40,560 --> 00:50:44,640 Speaker 1: um treated me as his daughter and I have a 879 00:50:44,680 --> 00:50:48,359 Speaker 1: sister by him. But it was too different. Like he 880 00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:51,520 Speaker 1: was tough, not like tough tough, but he was tough. 881 00:50:51,560 --> 00:50:56,560 Speaker 1: Whereas my dad like it was like he ain't nothing, 882 00:50:57,040 --> 00:50:59,839 Speaker 1: but he was in my life. You know, they're both 883 00:50:59,840 --> 00:51:04,080 Speaker 1: in my life. So my kids they have like I 884 00:51:04,080 --> 00:51:07,800 Speaker 1: have two moms, stepmom my mom. You know my two dads. 885 00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:11,320 Speaker 1: I just didn't have a grandfather. That's how he was 886 00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,120 Speaker 1: in my house too. I think that's just a black 887 00:51:13,120 --> 00:51:16,759 Speaker 1: household things my kids got. The the friends asked like, yeah, 888 00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:20,160 Speaker 1: I got two grand posts, I've got three. Yeah, Like 889 00:51:21,120 --> 00:51:23,759 Speaker 1: that's just how it is, you know, And I know 890 00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,160 Speaker 1: it's you over there trying to hire what's going on 891 00:51:26,200 --> 00:51:28,120 Speaker 1: with you in your pop's relationship? WHI She was like 892 00:51:28,120 --> 00:51:31,360 Speaker 1: you going. I know me and Moops was cool. We 893 00:51:31,400 --> 00:51:36,240 Speaker 1: had a cool My pops was just really like was craziest, 894 00:51:36,239 --> 00:51:38,439 Speaker 1: but like he was that person to be like high Scoore. 895 00:51:38,440 --> 00:51:41,200 Speaker 1: I getting mad at like he was just crazy, but 896 00:51:41,280 --> 00:51:43,160 Speaker 1: he was. I was the only girl like he had 897 00:51:43,280 --> 00:51:46,759 Speaker 1: you know boys like all boys. I'm the only girl. 898 00:51:46,760 --> 00:51:49,279 Speaker 1: I'm the oldest, but I'm the only girl. So I'm 899 00:51:49,280 --> 00:51:51,640 Speaker 1: always was always a baby girl. Like I didn't get 900 00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:54,960 Speaker 1: punishing and whippings and stuff like the boys did. It 901 00:51:55,040 --> 00:51:57,920 Speaker 1: wasn't happening now you just go upstairs, like you know, 902 00:51:58,040 --> 00:52:01,040 Speaker 1: I was the princess. You know, So we didn't have 903 00:52:01,440 --> 00:52:04,440 Speaker 1: a cool relationship, like did I I wish that he was, 904 00:52:05,160 --> 00:52:08,440 Speaker 1: you know, him and my my mom. It's crazy, my mom, 905 00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:11,920 Speaker 1: my dad got They met when they were like eleven 906 00:52:11,920 --> 00:52:14,520 Speaker 1: and twelve. They had me at sixteen. Two weeks later, 907 00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:18,280 Speaker 1: my mom turned seventeen, my dad turned eighteen. I literally 908 00:52:18,440 --> 00:52:24,920 Speaker 1: like it was crazy. So he really didn't know, like 909 00:52:24,920 --> 00:52:27,239 Speaker 1: like he was saying, like he really didn't know, like 910 00:52:27,320 --> 00:52:30,239 Speaker 1: you know, how to be a father, like he was 911 00:52:30,320 --> 00:52:32,200 Speaker 1: ship ship. Now you're trying to take care of family. 912 00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:34,320 Speaker 1: Then four years later then my brother comes, you know 913 00:52:34,320 --> 00:52:36,520 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, that he gets married to my mom. 914 00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:39,040 Speaker 1: They're like hell a young trying to hold it down 915 00:52:39,160 --> 00:52:42,000 Speaker 1: or whatever like that, and they just didn't they they 916 00:52:42,239 --> 00:52:43,960 Speaker 1: lost their way for a second, know what I'm saying, 917 00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:47,480 Speaker 1: And then they both came back full circle bed Unfortunately, 918 00:52:47,520 --> 00:52:52,640 Speaker 1: like you know, he he passed away. But um when 919 00:52:52,880 --> 00:52:56,600 Speaker 1: he always would say like you know you baby girl, 920 00:52:56,719 --> 00:52:59,040 Speaker 1: like you know what I'm saying, you know you you 921 00:52:59,160 --> 00:53:02,320 Speaker 1: treated such whatever, so like we have a bad relationship. 922 00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:05,839 Speaker 1: That's dude, you know. And I think the father is 923 00:53:07,200 --> 00:53:11,600 Speaker 1: very underrated because like you said, I think you turned 924 00:53:11,600 --> 00:53:14,239 Speaker 1: out to be the person you are. I think your 925 00:53:14,280 --> 00:53:16,319 Speaker 1: mom got a real big influence on you. But the 926 00:53:16,320 --> 00:53:18,880 Speaker 1: older I get I think is how your relationship was 927 00:53:18,920 --> 00:53:24,240 Speaker 1: with your father. I know, for us as men anyway. Um, 928 00:53:24,280 --> 00:53:26,439 Speaker 1: for you guys, it may be more of how your 929 00:53:26,480 --> 00:53:28,759 Speaker 1: relationship is with your mama, you know. But I think 930 00:53:28,800 --> 00:53:33,120 Speaker 1: for men especially, we um based our lives, and we 931 00:53:33,239 --> 00:53:35,919 Speaker 1: become who we are based on our relationship with our dad. 932 00:53:36,000 --> 00:53:38,080 Speaker 1: Because a lot of things, I just knew I didn't 933 00:53:38,080 --> 00:53:39,440 Speaker 1: want to be sorry. I didn't want to make no 934 00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:42,879 Speaker 1: fake ass promises to my kid because I remember being 935 00:53:42,880 --> 00:53:45,600 Speaker 1: a little kid, we stayed like in the basement apartment. 936 00:53:45,920 --> 00:53:47,880 Speaker 1: In the basement apartment, you know, you got the windows 937 00:53:47,960 --> 00:53:50,439 Speaker 1: up here, you know, you see the ground and the thing, 938 00:53:50,800 --> 00:53:53,160 Speaker 1: and it would be a Friday, and you know, I'll 939 00:53:53,200 --> 00:53:54,880 Speaker 1: be waiting for my dad to come. I remember I 940 00:53:54,880 --> 00:53:56,879 Speaker 1: would go get my bags. I would get them brown 941 00:53:56,960 --> 00:53:59,160 Speaker 1: grocery bags and put my clothes and stuff in it. 942 00:53:59,480 --> 00:54:01,040 Speaker 1: And I would have me a little book in there, 943 00:54:01,160 --> 00:54:03,239 Speaker 1: my comic books. So I'm okay for the ride this 944 00:54:03,280 --> 00:54:06,600 Speaker 1: house as far so I'll be prepared, right. And man, 945 00:54:06,680 --> 00:54:08,640 Speaker 1: I remember I was sitting the couch. He's supposed to 946 00:54:08,640 --> 00:54:13,040 Speaker 1: be there five o'clock, five thirty hids six o'clock here, 947 00:54:13,520 --> 00:54:15,520 Speaker 1: and my mama just there looking at him. She's like, baby, 948 00:54:15,560 --> 00:54:17,960 Speaker 1: let me go put your clothes and think, no, my daddy, 949 00:54:17,960 --> 00:54:19,839 Speaker 1: go come. I got my coat on and my little 950 00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:21,560 Speaker 1: boots on and stuff. No, I don't want to go 951 00:54:21,600 --> 00:54:23,640 Speaker 1: to sleep. And I remember I would go to sleep 952 00:54:23,680 --> 00:54:26,440 Speaker 1: on that couch buddy for that nagame and then he 953 00:54:26,480 --> 00:54:28,920 Speaker 1: wouldn't come. I would be so sad, and then it 954 00:54:28,960 --> 00:54:32,120 Speaker 1: would be like during the time I would sleep, he 955 00:54:32,160 --> 00:54:34,520 Speaker 1: don't came and gave my mom five or ten dollars 956 00:54:34,520 --> 00:54:37,400 Speaker 1: for me, and think that that's you know, like, and 957 00:54:37,440 --> 00:54:39,440 Speaker 1: so I see him a month later, Oh, did you 958 00:54:39,520 --> 00:54:41,239 Speaker 1: get the money I gave you? Just like, man, I 959 00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:42,880 Speaker 1: didn't think about that money. I don't want to come 960 00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:44,040 Speaker 1: and kick it with you. I just want to be 961 00:54:44,080 --> 00:54:47,279 Speaker 1: with my dad. And he did that to me so 962 00:54:47,400 --> 00:54:49,239 Speaker 1: much to where it got to the point to where 963 00:54:49,239 --> 00:54:51,879 Speaker 1: I couldn't stay in that dude, like I really didn't 964 00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:53,719 Speaker 1: like him, and he would come and try to give me. 965 00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:55,920 Speaker 1: When I got like thirteen and fortune, I was like, 966 00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,120 Speaker 1: I don't want to go. I don't want to go. 967 00:54:58,239 --> 00:55:01,080 Speaker 1: And then during that period I remember room, it was 968 00:55:01,120 --> 00:55:02,880 Speaker 1: a period to where he called the house and I 969 00:55:02,960 --> 00:55:05,600 Speaker 1: picked up the phone upstairs and he was cussing my 970 00:55:05,640 --> 00:55:07,759 Speaker 1: mom out, like calling all out of names. You gotta 971 00:55:07,760 --> 00:55:10,319 Speaker 1: think my mom got us, man, and so he getting on, 972 00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:12,880 Speaker 1: he getting mad. You know, people get to grabbing pistols 973 00:55:12,880 --> 00:55:15,319 Speaker 1: and stuff, and I go do this and that, you know. 974 00:55:15,480 --> 00:55:18,000 Speaker 1: So I was mad at him about that because he 975 00:55:18,120 --> 00:55:20,839 Speaker 1: let me see that over ignorant outside of him. You sure, 976 00:55:20,840 --> 00:55:22,799 Speaker 1: what I'm saying, just something you should never do in 977 00:55:22,840 --> 00:55:24,759 Speaker 1: front of your kids, you know what I mean? He 978 00:55:24,920 --> 00:55:27,520 Speaker 1: called my mom out out of her name, and I'm 979 00:55:27,680 --> 00:55:30,960 Speaker 1: cussing him out, and it's just got real crazy. And 980 00:55:31,000 --> 00:55:33,000 Speaker 1: even still to this day, I had to work with 981 00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:35,440 Speaker 1: that forgiving him because sometimes we need be around and 982 00:55:35,520 --> 00:55:37,319 Speaker 1: be saying stuff like I try to call the shot 983 00:55:37,600 --> 00:55:39,279 Speaker 1: out of a mom, like, man, you ain't got the 984 00:55:39,360 --> 00:55:41,120 Speaker 1: right to be doing all that home. You're cool that 985 00:55:41,200 --> 00:55:45,520 Speaker 1: you're here, but you're gonna calm down, you know what 986 00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:47,800 Speaker 1: I'm saying. Like you remember, And I told him like 987 00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:49,759 Speaker 1: the last time we got together, and I don't like 988 00:55:49,840 --> 00:55:51,520 Speaker 1: to live in the past. I just don't think it's 989 00:55:51,520 --> 00:55:53,920 Speaker 1: healthy to live in the past. I think it's you 990 00:55:54,000 --> 00:55:56,879 Speaker 1: need to forgive people for you because when you are 991 00:55:56,960 --> 00:55:59,480 Speaker 1: broad bottle up all that energy, it's just bad for 992 00:55:59,560 --> 00:56:02,640 Speaker 1: you and you wind up becoming the person you don't 993 00:56:02,640 --> 00:56:04,440 Speaker 1: want to be so I've forgiven them for a lot 994 00:56:04,520 --> 00:56:07,120 Speaker 1: of things, but I don't forget because I think it's 995 00:56:07,120 --> 00:56:08,960 Speaker 1: some stuff that you should have to be punished for 996 00:56:09,080 --> 00:56:11,640 Speaker 1: them and remember in your mind that you suck up. 997 00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,600 Speaker 1: I think we just I think people need to be 998 00:56:14,640 --> 00:56:17,279 Speaker 1: careful about who they go lay up and have kids with, 999 00:56:17,400 --> 00:56:19,319 Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I think that's a very 1000 00:56:19,320 --> 00:56:21,480 Speaker 1: important thing. Even if you don't wind up with a person, 1001 00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:24,279 Speaker 1: I just think you impact us to somebody else's life, 1002 00:56:24,320 --> 00:56:27,359 Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying. So I appreciate you all 1003 00:56:27,400 --> 00:56:30,360 Speaker 1: coming home and having this deep discussion with us tonight. 1004 00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:35,719 Speaker 1: Thanks for having Yeah, y'all probably thought. Y'all probably thought 1005 00:56:35,719 --> 00:56:37,200 Speaker 1: we was gonna be on here trying to go back 1006 00:56:37,239 --> 00:56:40,680 Speaker 1: and forth. We because those women that don't let men 1007 00:56:40,800 --> 00:56:43,120 Speaker 1: see their kids that I think they gonna deal with 1008 00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:45,000 Speaker 1: something later on in life and their own is eventually 1009 00:56:45,040 --> 00:56:46,600 Speaker 1: that kids will get older. I want to see us 1010 00:56:46,600 --> 00:56:49,759 Speaker 1: that anyway. Oh yeah, I think it's important for you 1011 00:56:49,800 --> 00:56:53,480 Speaker 1: know that relationship to so gloomy life. There's no reason 1012 00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:56,839 Speaker 1: to like keep in domestic violence situations where they're hurting 1013 00:56:56,880 --> 00:56:59,160 Speaker 1: the kids. Yeah, but no, why why are you keeping 1014 00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:03,319 Speaker 1: this kid away? From their father. I think it's hurting them, 1015 00:57:03,360 --> 00:57:06,719 Speaker 1: but it's not. It's hurting the kids. It's hurting the 1016 00:57:06,800 --> 00:57:10,080 Speaker 1: kid for real, for real. So y'all back to doing 1017 00:57:10,120 --> 00:57:12,480 Speaker 1: your podcast again full time. I know y'all be on 1018 00:57:12,520 --> 00:57:17,000 Speaker 1: there on no ceilings with glasses every week. Y'all back 1019 00:57:17,040 --> 00:57:20,959 Speaker 1: up running yet we um know, we haven't. We haven't 1020 00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:24,800 Speaker 1: started recording our show yet. So we like, we've been 1021 00:57:24,840 --> 00:57:29,600 Speaker 1: talking about it. We got like, you know, yeah, so 1022 00:57:30,520 --> 00:57:32,760 Speaker 1: you don't need to do something. He don't nobody to 1023 00:57:32,800 --> 00:57:34,959 Speaker 1: talk ship like these girls. They talk a gag and ship. 1024 00:57:35,000 --> 00:57:38,680 Speaker 1: They're being nice. It'd be a nice night, but they 1025 00:57:38,720 --> 00:57:42,480 Speaker 1: has to be talking again and ship on the night. 1026 00:57:42,560 --> 00:57:47,240 Speaker 1: When there's some ship some ship talking, they go about, Yeah, well, 1027 00:57:48,240 --> 00:57:49,960 Speaker 1: I know it's late. I'm gonna let y'all go. I 1028 00:57:50,000 --> 00:57:53,360 Speaker 1: appreciate that. What can people find, y'all that you can 1029 00:57:53,400 --> 00:57:58,280 Speaker 1: follow us at the Real Cousins, the Real Cousins everywhere, 1030 00:57:58,720 --> 00:58:01,000 Speaker 1: and y'all heard it here first, think crazy as a month, 1031 00:58:01,280 --> 00:58:03,720 Speaker 1: check them out and we are here. Well, that concludes 1032 00:58:03,760 --> 00:58:06,480 Speaker 1: another episode of Against the Chronicles podcast. Be sure to 1033 00:58:06,520 --> 00:58:08,760 Speaker 1: download the I Heart app and subscribe to the Gangster 1034 00:58:08,880 --> 00:58:11,960 Speaker 1: Chronicles podcast for Apple users. Find a purple micro on 1035 00:58:12,000 --> 00:58:13,960 Speaker 1: the front of your screen, subscribe to the show, leave 1036 00:58:14,000 --> 00:58:17,240 Speaker 1: a comment and rating. Executive producers for The Gangster Chronicles 1037 00:58:17,240 --> 00:58:20,600 Speaker 1: podcast and Norman Steve, James McDonald, Aaron M c tyler, 1038 00:58:20,920 --> 00:58:24,000 Speaker 1: our visual media directors Brian White, and our audio editors 1039 00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:26,720 Speaker 1: Taylor Hayes. The Gangster Chronicles is a production of Our 1040 00:58:26,720 --> 00:58:29,880 Speaker 1: Heart Media Network and The Black Effect Podcast Network. For 1041 00:58:29,960 --> 00:58:32,400 Speaker 1: more podcast from My Heart Radio, visit the our Heart 1042 00:58:32,480 --> 00:58:35,520 Speaker 1: Radio app Apple Podcast Wherever you're listening to your podcasts,