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Speaker 1: Hi everyone, and welcome back to another episode of Wide

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Speaker 1: Open with Ashland Harris. Today we are speaking with our

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Speaker 1: favorite Olympian be girl and first American woman to ever

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Speaker 1: qualify for breaking an Olympic history, Sonny Choy. Welcome to

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Speaker 1: Wide Open.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, thanks for having me. I'm excited.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, so am. I I know we met. Gosh was it?

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Speaker 1: I think it was the year before the Paris Olympics

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Speaker 1: and can at the NBC pop up and use I

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Speaker 1: was with Sue Bird and you were breaking on stage

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Speaker 1: and it was just one of the coolest activations I

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Speaker 1: think NBC is ever done, because usually no offense, it's

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Speaker 1: so vanilla and the music like we were vibing. Sue

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Speaker 1: and I were like, Okay, this is so freaking cool,

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Speaker 1: and gosh, what a whirlwind it's been. Uh really has

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Speaker 1: clearly changed your life quite a bit. Yeah, I feel

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Speaker 1: like breaking in the Olympics was such a huge buzz

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Speaker 1: at the time, both good and bad. And but I'm

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Speaker 1: curious because I want to dive in and obviously it's

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Speaker 1: so good to see you again and I'm so excited

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Speaker 1: to catch up and the listeners to hear what you're

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Speaker 1: doing and you know where you're going now that it's

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Speaker 1: you know, the Olympics. Unfortunately, breaking has been removed from

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Speaker 1: the Olympics in LA which will really dive into because

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Speaker 1: that makes me so unbelievably sad for you. But there's

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Speaker 1: so much positivity we can roll into. But first I

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Speaker 1: really want to start with, like your your origin story,

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Speaker 1: the beginning, because you do have such a rich story

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Speaker 1: of who you were before all of this, you know,

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Speaker 1: fame and press tours and people wanting you probably to

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Speaker 1: break dance on the side of the road everywhere you go. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: but yeah, please please tell me, tell tell me and

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Speaker 1: tell the listeners. Uh you know what it was like

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Speaker 1: growing up as a young girl in Tennessee and Kentucky.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, hello, please, yeah, elaborate because like I am.

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Speaker 3: Dying to know what that was like. Yeah. So I

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Speaker 3: was born in Tennessee, but we moved to Kentucky when

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Speaker 3: I was like seven, So you know, I don't remember

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Speaker 3: much of Tennessee other than like it was a really

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Speaker 3: small town and my school was like literally in my backyard,

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Speaker 3: like through a grover tree. This is the kind of

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Speaker 3: like town that we lived in at the time. So

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Speaker 3: I actually though while I was in Tennessee. When I

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Speaker 3: was three, I watched the ninety two Olympic Games, and

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Speaker 3: apparently I was like hooked onto gymnastics, and I begged

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Speaker 3: my mom for a month to put me in because

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Speaker 3: I wanted to win a gold medal at the Olympics.

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Speaker 3: And so she put me into gymnastics at a really

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Speaker 3: young age, and you know, she had no idea what

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Speaker 3: she was doing. So she sent me to my first

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Speaker 3: class in a tutu, thinking.

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Speaker 2: My god, this is like dance right.

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Speaker 3: So I'm in this little mermaid tutu, probably the only

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Speaker 3: Asian girl there, showing up like, am I going to

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Speaker 3: get a gold medal today?

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Speaker 2: My mom was like, I don't know what today.

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Speaker 3: I'm hungry at the beginning. Yeah, so that's where it

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Speaker 3: all started. I used to drop pictures with the Olympic

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Speaker 3: rings in the corner, like this was always a childhood

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Speaker 3: dream of mine. When we moved to Kentucky, we ended

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Speaker 3: up kind of like accelerating my gymnastics doing this like

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Speaker 3: back then it was called like TPR the Tops program,

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Speaker 3: I think. So I was like traveling doing like strength

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Speaker 3: testing and skills testing, going to these like national camps.

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Speaker 3: So we're basically like on the road potentially to be

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Speaker 3: a candidate right for the Olympics. We decided pretty young though,

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Speaker 3: so I would say like right out of elementary school

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Speaker 3: going to middle school. We had this conversation of like, well,

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Speaker 3: are we ready to pull her out of school and

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Speaker 3: homeschool and actually go this like Olympic track.

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Speaker 2: Or are we going to go kind of like the

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Speaker 2: regular route.

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Speaker 3: And we decided then like, actually we're going to go

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Speaker 3: the regular route. At that time, you know, societal expectations

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Speaker 3: had set in and my pictures are no longer Olympic rings.

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Speaker 3: But I was like, yeah, I'm going to be a

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Speaker 3: doctor and I'm going to go to Stanford pre med

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Speaker 3: and like, you know, so we ended up foregoing the

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Speaker 3: Olympic pathway knowing, you know, like chances are low back

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Speaker 3: then as an Olympic athlete, like there wasn't much beyond

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Speaker 3: the Olympics, So it was like what is there after

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Speaker 3: that for me?

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Speaker 2: For my life?

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Speaker 3: So we ended up kind of going the more traditional

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Speaker 3: like good middle school, went to a good high school, graduated,

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Speaker 3: I got into pen and I went to business school

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Speaker 3: because I figured, you know, at that time, honestly I

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Speaker 3: didn't like anything and I was like.

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Speaker 2: Well, my brother went to business school. I know I

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Speaker 2: can make money with this.

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Speaker 3: The coach at Penn wants me to do gymnastics there,

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Speaker 3: so that makes it really easy when when I'll get

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Speaker 3: in and I'll transfer ou to business school if I

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Speaker 3: really hate it. So I you know, I get to

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Speaker 3: college and I still don't know what I want to do.

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Speaker 3: But I'm in, like you know, at the time, like

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Speaker 3: one of the best business programs in the US, and

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Speaker 3: I'm just like just just checking the boxes, like doing

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Speaker 3: the things that I knew I needed to do to

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Speaker 3: be successful in life. You know, get a good job,

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Speaker 3: make money, have a family, buy a home, just do

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Speaker 3: all the things that like the world expected me to do.

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Speaker 2: So I was just on that path, just chugging along. Ye.

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Speaker 3: So you know, I actually blew up my kne in

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Speaker 3: high school before I get to college, so I'm backtracking

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Speaker 3: a little bit, and I ended up having surgery and

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Speaker 3: then hurting it again when I got back into the

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Speaker 3: sport and.

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Speaker 2: The doctors couldn't figure out what was wrong.

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Speaker 3: So I ended up having to quit gymnastics before I

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Speaker 3: get to college. So I was pretty lost at that time.

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Speaker 3: I had hit some pretty low lows mentally, and I

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Speaker 3: think just a combination of like burnout, being really lost,

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Speaker 3: not knowing how to talk about my emotions, like all

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Speaker 3: of that like really bubbled up. So junior senior year

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Speaker 3: pretty hard. And then I get to college and I'm

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Speaker 3: just like out there doing what freshmen do.

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Speaker 4: Maybe a little extreme, yes, and you know, I'm just

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Speaker 4: like just just exploring and trying to figure out what

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Speaker 4: it is that I want to be doing with my life,

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Speaker 4: you know, or actually at that point, I don't think

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Speaker 4: I was trying to figure it out.

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Speaker 3: At that point, I was just trying to run, like

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Speaker 3: run away, and I stumble into some breakers one night.

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Speaker 3: They're just dancing on campus and they're basically promoting, you know,

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Speaker 3: the school club, and I was like, oh, that's cool,

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Speaker 3: Like they're upside down, like that looks like fun. I

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Speaker 3: kind of missed this, and so, you know, late night,

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Speaker 3: I'm not sober, They're like, hey, you want to come

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Speaker 3: to a class on Friday. I was like sure, sure,

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Speaker 3: so I went. I tried it, and I was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: this is fun. So you know, while I'm in college,

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Speaker 3: I'm breaking on the side, starting to kind of figure

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Speaker 3: figure out this world and like what my space is

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Speaker 3: in it, and how to express myself and how to

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Speaker 3: how to like take down all those barriers that I

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Speaker 3: had set up, you know, to like live this perfect

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Speaker 3: life and just be vulnerable. I'm dancing, so doing all that. Meanwhile,

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Speaker 3: the rest of my life is unfolding. So I graduate,

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Speaker 3: start working in corporate do that for quite a bit,

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Speaker 3: just kind of climb that ladder and do what I

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Speaker 3: need to do to make more money and get you know,

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Speaker 3: higher up on the ladder, so that checking all the boxes.

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Speaker 1: Falling in line with the society tells us women to

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Speaker 1: do correct.

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Speaker 3: And at the same time, you know, still breaking on

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Speaker 3: the side, getting better, breaking, starting to travel internationally, starting

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Speaker 3: to make some money off of it, and just like

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Speaker 3: kind of explore what's there for me, but never seeing

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Speaker 3: it as a viable option for me in terms of

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Speaker 3: like my career, just because you know, dance is hard

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Speaker 3: already breaking even harder because it's more underground than most

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Speaker 3: dance styles.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, I'm just chugging along.

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Speaker 3: But to be honest, like I'm miserable every single day

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Speaker 3: showing up to work and doing a great job. No

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Speaker 3: one can tell from the outside because I'm always smiling,

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Speaker 3: but like deep down, I just like I had no purpose.

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Speaker 2: You know, some days it was hard to get out

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Speaker 2: of bed, like just it was kind of tough.

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Speaker 3: So when the Olympic opportunity presented itself, initially, actually I

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Speaker 3: said no because I want to have kids potentially, and

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Speaker 3: I want to have house, and like I'm saving money

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Speaker 3: and I'm getting to a point in the next few

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Speaker 3: years where I feel ready to like look for a

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Speaker 3: home and to buy in New York. You know, I

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Speaker 3: was on the track to that life that I I

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Speaker 3: had drawn up for myself, right, and the Olympics just

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Speaker 3: put a huge wrench in all that. So initially I said,

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Speaker 3: I don't think I want to do this. It took

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Speaker 3: me about six months to come around and actually decide like, okay,

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Speaker 3: I can't give up all myself again. Like I had

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Speaker 3: this dream as a kid. I have this opportunity to

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Speaker 3: now to get out of this life that I don't

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Speaker 3: like and start a brand new one and in like

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Speaker 3: such a radically cool way at that, you know, so

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Speaker 3: like why not? And so that's you know, it wasn't

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Speaker 3: until I think the beginning or like mid twenty twenty

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Speaker 3: two is when I decided, like, all right, I'm going

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Speaker 3: to quit my job in the near future, you know,

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Speaker 3: save up until then, but I'm going to quit my

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Speaker 3: job and I'm going to do this full time and

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Speaker 3: then I'll figure it out after.

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Speaker 2: But I'm never coming back to corporate. Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Sorry, that was like such a long dire tribe. I

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Speaker 3: didn't realize it trying to take that.

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Speaker 1: But no, it's great. It's great. You have such a

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Speaker 1: rich history of your life experiences and I don't want

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Speaker 1: to skip over too much, and I really would like

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Speaker 1: to dive into it because there's so much there that

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Speaker 1: is so helpful for younger you know, kids growing up

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Speaker 1: who feel the isolation, maybe the racism, maybe the otherness

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Speaker 1: of being Korean American and a very small Kentucky town.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I love this question. So I've thought

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Speaker 3: about kind of like representation and my like being Asian

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Speaker 3: a lot in this journey, actually not a lot. Initially,

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Speaker 3: I didn't think about it at all. I basically like

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Speaker 3: hd it and tried to pretend it didn't exist for

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Speaker 3: so long. And it wasn't until Aletts were asking me

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Speaker 3: about what it's like being Asian? What does representation mean

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Speaker 3: to me? That I realized that I've been running away

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Speaker 3: from that question too. For a long time. I think

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Speaker 3: I was embarrassed of being Asian. You know, I got

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Speaker 3: made fun of and I would brush it off as

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Speaker 3: a kid, like I didn't realize that it was is

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Speaker 3: like technically bullying when people would make fun of me

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Speaker 3: for being Asian and my eyes and say things like

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Speaker 3: chingchang whatever, you know in the hallways. To me, I

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Speaker 3: was just like, that's not even Korean. Why would you

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Speaker 3: do that? That's so silly. You know, My practical self

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Speaker 3: was never, like luckily emotionally particularly damaged. But I think

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Speaker 3: the effect of just knowing like I wasn't like everyone

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Speaker 3: else was always there and present, and so I feel

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Speaker 3: like I always tried to fit in, And I think

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Speaker 3: that's part of the narrative of why I wanted to

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Speaker 3: do everything the way that like the world expected me

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Speaker 3: to do things. So I think a lot of that

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Speaker 3: came from me wanting to fit in, me wanting to

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Speaker 3: be like everyone else, because I growing up never felt

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Speaker 3: that way.

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Speaker 2: I always knew there was something different.

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Speaker 3: You know, like even with my like so, I actually

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Speaker 3: spoke Korean first before I spoke English, and my mom

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Speaker 3: thought when I went to school that I didn't speak English,

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Speaker 3: and she was really concerned when I was off to

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Speaker 3: kindergarten that I was gonna like be treated differently because

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Speaker 3: she was concerned I didn't speak enough English. Well, it

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Speaker 3: turns out I come home after my first day of

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Speaker 3: school and said, Mom, I'm never speaking Korean again. I'm

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Speaker 3: only going to speak English. And she was so relieved

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Speaker 3: that I spoke English. So now I no longer speak

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Speaker 3: my native language.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I can understand a little bit.

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Speaker 3: I can speak very basic Korean, but all English because

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Speaker 3: I was just so focused on fitting in, you know,

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Speaker 3: I just I growing up. I didn't know I was

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Speaker 3: different until I got to school and realized, oh, I'm

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Speaker 3: very different.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And do you feel like that added more pressure

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Speaker 1: to your burnout? Which we'll talk more about, because I

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Speaker 1: think we're all experiencing we're in a real serious mental

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Speaker 1: health crisis, and I'm curious. You know, having immigrants, you

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Speaker 1: know parents, there's a whole different type of pressure that

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Speaker 1: comes with that of you know, they've sacrificed so much

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Speaker 1: for me to be here, I've got to really be successful. Like,

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Speaker 1: is gymnastics really the path forward? Are they going to

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Speaker 1: dedicate their life to my craft at such an early age,

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Speaker 1: are you thinking in real time, like, Wow, the weight

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Speaker 1: I have on my back is so enormous that it's

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Speaker 1: unbearable to carry anymore.

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Speaker 3: When I was young, I didn't realize that that that

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Speaker 3: is what it was, you know. When I was young,

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Speaker 3: it was just I feel like this is what I

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Speaker 3: should do, you know, like I wasn't able to comprehend

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Speaker 3: really why I was doing what I was doing. It's

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Speaker 3: just like it was just the right thing. It was

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Speaker 3: the only thing right. I just needed to make sure

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Speaker 3: I was successful and I did things like.

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Speaker 2: The right way.

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Speaker 3: So, you know, I always got good grades, never questioned it.

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Speaker 3: You know, it was not a question to go to

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Speaker 3: a good college, Like it wasn't even a question not

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Speaker 3: to go to college because that's the only pathway forward.

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Speaker 3: And then it was never a question not to have

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Speaker 3: some sort of like stable, well paying.

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Speaker 2: Job after that. Yeah, you know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, So I think the pressure was always there, I

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Speaker 3: just never realized it. And I think some of that

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Speaker 3: was because we didn't talk about emotions. And to no

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Speaker 3: fault of my parents, to no fault of yeah, of

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Speaker 3: my parents, because they grew up in a very very

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Speaker 3: different time, very different generation. And I'm so grateful for

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Speaker 3: everything that they did. But like they even to this day,

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Speaker 3: I think it's sometimes challenging to talk about emotions. And

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Speaker 3: I'm much more open with like my mom now than

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Speaker 3: I used to be, so she's aware of, like my

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Speaker 3: depression and you know, some of the lows that I

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Speaker 3: go through, and she's aware of some of this stuff

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Speaker 3: now and she's understanding. But when I was younger, because

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Speaker 3: I couldn't even begin to talk about it, I didn't

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Speaker 3: have the words to express I didn't know how to

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Speaker 3: describe what was going on.

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Speaker 1: You were young, like you didn't even have the words

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Speaker 1: to what you were feeling. I can imagine, yes.

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Speaker 3: But to not have someone be able to even guide

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Speaker 3: me so that I could start talking about them, I

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Speaker 3: think that was challenging. And so I internalized everything instead,

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Speaker 3: and then just it all kind of bubbled up and exploded,

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Speaker 3: and it would just do that over and over and

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Speaker 3: over and over again, and I just never understood why

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Speaker 3: it was happening.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And I want to definitely hold space for that,

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Speaker 1: because your bravery and sharing it and being so open

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Speaker 1: is so profound and beautiful all at the same time.

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Speaker 1: Stay tuned. I'll be back in just a moment after

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Speaker 1: this brief message from our sponsors. It is such a

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Speaker 1: scary thing to go through depression. How'd you get through it?

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Speaker 1: Feeling so alone and unable to articulate? Holy shit, Like

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Speaker 1: I am really depressed and I am really not well

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Speaker 1: and I'm alone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think within my family's circle, I didn't have people

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Speaker 3: that I felt like I could talk to you, right,

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Speaker 3: and even like my siblings. My brothers are at the

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Speaker 3: house and a little brother was younger than me, so

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Speaker 3: he didn't quite understand. But I had friends who were

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Speaker 3: going through similar and I think it was that connection

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Speaker 3: that was really really helpful because there were a few

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Speaker 3: friends that I was very open with and that knew

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Speaker 3: what was going on and we would talk about it.

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Speaker 3: And I mean I had friends who would stay up

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Speaker 3: with me, like on messenger back in the day.

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Speaker 1: Oh yes, I love it.

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Speaker 3: What was your handle?

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Speaker 1: What was your handle? First? Before we dive deep into this,

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Speaker 1: I don't remember.

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Speaker 3: I wish I did. I feel like it was actually

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Speaker 3: something pretty straightforward because I've always been really practical.

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Speaker 1: Mine was g K the number four life goalkeeper for life,

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Speaker 1: so embarrassing.

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Speaker 3: I mean, there's no like xoxo Asian baby girl in there,

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Speaker 3: so because that was what a lot of the girls

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Speaker 3: are doing back then that were like.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, that is so funny.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, sorry, anyways, continue.

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Speaker 3: I mean no judgment to people who did that though.

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Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, to each their own.

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Speaker 3: But I was just not that girl. But yeah, we

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Speaker 3: would stay up to like sometimes like three or four

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Speaker 3: in the morning talking because I was basically like an

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Speaker 3: insomnia ac, Like I just I couldn't sleep, and despite

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Speaker 3: being extremely exhausted, I couldn't sleep. I mean, the problem

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Speaker 3: then was like I was sometimes falling asleep at the wheel,

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Speaker 3: and I would fall asleep in class. Oh my god,

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Speaker 3: it's really dangerous. Yeah, there was a lot of like

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Speaker 3: dangerous stuff happening back then, and looking back, I'm really

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Speaker 3: grateful that I came out of that all unscathed, because

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Speaker 3: those are pretty rough years for me. But yeah, I

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Speaker 3: had other friends that I would share with, and they

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Speaker 3: were going through very similar I remember one specifically. He

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Speaker 3: was Asian, so I think we felt kind of a

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Speaker 3: similar type of press, sure from our families and you know,

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Speaker 3: just from society in general. So we we would talk

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Speaker 3: about these things, and you know, we talked about like

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Speaker 3: literally everything. But I think that that connection is really

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Speaker 3: what kept me going because it's like, even if I'm

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Speaker 3: not able to talk with my family, like, there are

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Speaker 3: people there who who do care. So that was that

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Speaker 3: was always helpful. And like going to school, it's like

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Speaker 3: I had a lot of friends there and you know,

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Speaker 3: it was always nice to see them, and I knew

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Speaker 3: that they appreciated me, even if they didn't know what

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Speaker 3: was going on. I mean, like people used to make

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Speaker 3: jokes in high school, like, oh, I pulled a sonny,

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Speaker 3: which means like I didn't sleep last night, and it

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00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,439
Speaker 3: was like we all because none of us understood what

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Speaker 3: was happening. I didn't understand what was happening, and I

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Speaker 3: was always super bubbly and happy on the outside, so

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Speaker 3: everyone thought like, oh, she's great, like it's just the

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Speaker 3: thing she does. And I always got you know, straight

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Speaker 3: a's anyway, so yeah, you know, looking back now, I'm like, man,

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Speaker 3: that was a little toxic.

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Speaker 1: But truthfully, what I've learned, because I'm a huge advocate

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Speaker 1: in the mental health space, like I think the people

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Speaker 1: who struggle the most are the ones who are so

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Speaker 1: outwardly bubbly and happy because they have mastered the art

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Speaker 1: of that hidden identity of darkness that they are not

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Speaker 1: comfortable enough to share. Like, the most electric people in

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Speaker 1: my life are some of the most sad depressed people,

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Speaker 1: and I was one of them. So I don't think

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Speaker 1: that that's a weird statement to make. I think you

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Speaker 1: end up having to master the darkness by hiding it.

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Speaker 1: And I know it was really hard going to college

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Speaker 1: until you found breaking. Do you feel like when you

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Speaker 1: finally found breaking it felt like you found oxygen again?

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Speaker 3: Initially? No, I think initially it was like it was fun,

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Speaker 3: it was something new, it was something challenging, and it

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Speaker 3: was something that there was a piece of me that

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Speaker 3: always knew that I wanted to pursue some sort of

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Speaker 3: creative outlet. So even in high school, I did like

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Speaker 3: a fashion design course and I ended up making my

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Speaker 3: own prom dress and I was just like literally notebooks

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Speaker 3: and notebooks of like just drawings. You know, I loved it.

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Speaker 3: Didn't pursue that. Then I get to college and I

385
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Speaker 3: actually ended up getting a minor in fine arts and

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Speaker 3: even consider doing an MFA because I really enjoyed that.

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Speaker 3: But I was like, you know, there's no it's such

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Speaker 3: a hard life and here I am checking the boxes

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Speaker 3: and that's not a box I need to check, So

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Speaker 3: we're going to forego that. So I always knew there

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Speaker 3: was a piece of me looking to express myself in

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Speaker 3: a different way. Breaking was that plus the piece of

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Speaker 3: gymnastics that I loved, which is that like weightlessness, you know,

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Speaker 3: the like losing yourself and just relying on your body

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Speaker 3: to do what it does. So initially there was like

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Speaker 3: it was I was drawn to it because of the challenges,

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Speaker 3: and actually it used to frustrate the hell out of

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Speaker 3: me that I couldn't get in front of people and dance.

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Speaker 3: I used to just sit in the corner of the

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Speaker 3: room every day while everyone else practiced and like literally

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Speaker 3: in like a little ball in the corner of the

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Speaker 3: room and just watch because I was so scared to

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Speaker 3: do anything. And that it was like that for a while.

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Speaker 3: But I knew that this was something that I wanted

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Speaker 3: to get over. I knew it was an obstacle that

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Speaker 3: I didn't want to stop me from doing this thing

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00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:29,359
Speaker 3: that I really wanted to participate in. And then there's

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00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:36,280
Speaker 3: something so like a magnetic about watching people genuinely and

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Speaker 3: authentically be themselves. You know, in any in any space,

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Speaker 3: but I think with dance because it's your body and

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00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:48,720
Speaker 3: there's this like shared language that transcends like actual verbal language. Right,

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Speaker 3: There's something so powerful about that that I was like,

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Speaker 3: I really want to participate in this. There's like a

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Speaker 3: level of connection that like I've never really felt and

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Speaker 3: I want to see what that's like.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's so beautiful because it is storytelling through movement.

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Speaker 1: It is the most purest form of art, and it

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Speaker 1: moves everyone in a way that is so much bigger

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Speaker 1: than words, and it's so universal, and I think that

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Speaker 1: is the beauty and that is the gift that you

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Speaker 1: continue to give to the world.

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Speaker 2: And I don't know.

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Speaker 1: If you ever do you see it that way? Do

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Speaker 1: you think about that?

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Speaker 3: I don't think of it as being like I guess

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Speaker 3: I never think about it that way, but in terms

427
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Speaker 3: of like it being something that transcends language, that's like

428
00:22:34,760 --> 00:22:37,919
Speaker 3: so basic and primal. You know, like babies do that,

429
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Speaker 3: like dance a little bit before they can even talk,

430
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Speaker 3: you know, like this is just what we do as humans.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, I mean, it's absolutely what you're saying.

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Speaker 1: I'm curious the fact that you said you used to

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Speaker 1: sit in the corner and you were like so terrified

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Speaker 1: to be open to your performances and your dance and

435
00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:03,720
Speaker 1: you know, I assume you were a very shy, smart kid,

436
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:09,239
Speaker 1: but did you like because the gravity of competing at

437
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:13,200
Speaker 1: the Olympics is so massive, Like I know it took

438
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:16,239
Speaker 1: a while to decide, but once you did, you know

439
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:20,400
Speaker 1: you're representing not only yourself but your family, your culture,

440
00:23:21,320 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 1: like on the biggest global stage, like out there. What

441
00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:29,920
Speaker 1: was that Like, what was it like when you stepped

442
00:23:30,000 --> 00:23:33,480
Speaker 1: on to that dance floor for the first time? Like

443
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:38,440
Speaker 1: what bring the audience through? What is going through your head?

444
00:23:40,119 --> 00:23:40,760
Speaker 2: Uh?

445
00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,320
Speaker 3: So for those of you watching video, you're going to

446
00:23:44,359 --> 00:23:47,040
Speaker 3: see I'm already tearing up. Every time I think about

447
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,760
Speaker 3: that day, I am filled with so much, like but

448
00:23:50,840 --> 00:23:55,040
Speaker 3: it's like good emotion, like really positive emotion, because it

449
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,600
Speaker 3: was one of the day that I was one of

450
00:23:56,600 --> 00:23:58,520
Speaker 3: the days of my life where I was most fulfilled.

451
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:02,240
Speaker 3: And it's not because I was on the Olympic stage.

452
00:24:02,720 --> 00:24:05,600
Speaker 3: There's a lot more to it, Like this could have

453
00:24:05,680 --> 00:24:08,800
Speaker 3: happened elsewhere. It happened to happen at the Olympics for me,

454
00:24:11,080 --> 00:24:15,000
Speaker 3: but basically my entire breaking career I've told myself, I

455
00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,600
Speaker 3: want to be able to move freely, like I want

456
00:24:17,640 --> 00:24:19,679
Speaker 3: to get out of my own way. I want to

457
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:23,320
Speaker 3: turn off my brain, zone in and just be me,

458
00:24:23,680 --> 00:24:27,359
Speaker 3: like as authentically me as possible. No guards up, you know,

459
00:24:27,640 --> 00:24:30,480
Speaker 3: no like no mask, no nothing, you know. And I

460
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,560
Speaker 3: had been working on that my whole life, but every

461
00:24:32,560 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 3: time I would get down to battle, the little voice

462
00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:35,840
Speaker 3: in my set in my head would be like, oh,

463
00:24:35,960 --> 00:24:38,000
Speaker 3: not good enough, that was not right, or like, oh

464
00:24:38,040 --> 00:24:39,879
Speaker 3: we messed up there. Hey, like what are you doing.

465
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,360
Speaker 3: You're definitely taking too long. Get off the floor, You're

466
00:24:42,400 --> 00:24:44,240
Speaker 3: not good enough to be here, like whatever. It was

467
00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 3: that little voice was always talking, and so that that

468
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 3: voice was always so loud that I never felt like

469
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:55,359
Speaker 3: I was able to be present and you know, they're

470
00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 3: all there. As I got better at breaking, that voice

471
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,560
Speaker 3: got quieter and it got a little bit more sports.

472
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,560
Speaker 3: So it would be maybe like after the round that

473
00:25:04,560 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 3: that voice would be like, hey, that wasn't very good,

474
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,000
Speaker 3: like I don't know why you did that one thing,

475
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,960
Speaker 3: and then we kind of didn't hit this whatever. But

476
00:25:10,400 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 3: in the moment, there were moments where I've been able

477
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:15,840
Speaker 3: to lock in, but yeah, you know, I never as

478
00:25:15,840 --> 00:25:17,920
Speaker 3: a breaker, said like I wanted to win this big

479
00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 3: battle or I never even wanted to like necessarily travel

480
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:24,360
Speaker 3: internationally get known, Like it was all about just exploring

481
00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:28,720
Speaker 3: and being able to be me. And I think that's

482
00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:32,440
Speaker 3: what made the Olympic moments so special, because I the

483
00:25:32,520 --> 00:25:34,600
Speaker 3: lead up to the Games was rough. I had to

484
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:38,159
Speaker 3: face a lot of my like inner struggles, and I

485
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 3: had to get over those because I wanted to show

486
00:25:40,680 --> 00:25:45,160
Speaker 3: up for myself that day. And I think being able

487
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,000
Speaker 3: to show up there having so many people that I

488
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,200
Speaker 3: love and care for be there to support me wholeheartedly.

489
00:25:51,359 --> 00:25:54,000
Speaker 3: I have this picture of like my entire family dead

490
00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,119
Speaker 3: down team years a gear. Some of them would like

491
00:25:56,200 --> 00:25:59,040
Speaker 3: handwritten like team Sunny on their T shirt because they

492
00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,360
Speaker 3: didn't have time or they weren't able to get their

493
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:04,920
Speaker 3: like T shirts made in time, whatever, all my nieces

494
00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:10,080
Speaker 3: there to support, like everybody, to have that level of

495
00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:13,159
Speaker 3: support everyone's there in Paris, Like I'm just I'm lucky

496
00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,679
Speaker 3: that everyone was able to get tickets and show up

497
00:26:15,720 --> 00:26:20,439
Speaker 3: and afford to be there to build a team around

498
00:26:20,480 --> 00:26:24,480
Speaker 3: me of people who cared about me. My like agient

499
00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,919
Speaker 3: at that time, my strength coach, my massage therapist, my boyfriend,

500
00:26:28,840 --> 00:26:33,880
Speaker 3: just like everybody there to support me, and knowing that

501
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:34,840
Speaker 3: they all didn't.

502
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:35,200
Speaker 2: Care how I did.

503
00:26:35,320 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 3: They were just there to support, you know. Having all

504
00:26:39,280 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 3: of that there and then being able to step on

505
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 3: the stage and for the first time be like, I

506
00:26:43,119 --> 00:26:45,879
Speaker 3: don't I don't care about how I do today. I

507
00:26:45,920 --> 00:26:48,280
Speaker 3: just want to go have fun and to like really

508
00:26:48,320 --> 00:26:52,240
Speaker 3: truly feel that way was so special because it's like

509
00:26:52,320 --> 00:26:53,919
Speaker 3: literally the first time in my life where I was like,

510
00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 3: nothing else matters. I get to be me and I

511
00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:01,480
Speaker 3: get to be celebrated for being me. Yea, So yeah,

512
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,760
Speaker 3: I really was amazing experiences.

513
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:07,520
Speaker 1: And I appreciate you being so vulnerable because what I

514
00:27:07,560 --> 00:27:11,160
Speaker 1: think the rawness and realness of you sharing. I think

515
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,800
Speaker 1: people have no idea the pressures that we as athletes

516
00:27:14,880 --> 00:27:21,359
Speaker 1: go through to perform at the highest stage when so

517
00:27:21,600 --> 00:27:24,480
Speaker 1: much of our being and our self is telling us

518
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:26,119
Speaker 1: constantly we're not good enough.

519
00:27:26,480 --> 00:27:30,359
Speaker 3: Yeah for sure. I mean I almost bypassed all of

520
00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:32,159
Speaker 3: this and said I don't I don't want to do

521
00:27:32,200 --> 00:27:36,159
Speaker 3: it because my superficial reason was because I wanted to

522
00:27:36,200 --> 00:27:38,040
Speaker 3: have all these things in my life, and the Olympics

523
00:27:38,119 --> 00:27:40,639
Speaker 3: was going to get in the way. The real reason

524
00:27:40,760 --> 00:27:42,280
Speaker 3: was because I didn't think that I could do it.

525
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:43,119
Speaker 2: I didn't want to.

526
00:27:43,359 --> 00:27:46,240
Speaker 3: I didn't want to put all my eggs in this

527
00:27:46,440 --> 00:27:49,720
Speaker 3: basket in me. I didn't want to trust in myself.

528
00:27:49,960 --> 00:27:51,920
Speaker 1: Because yeah, it's sitting on yourself.

529
00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:52,880
Speaker 2: Yep.

530
00:27:53,080 --> 00:27:55,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so much scarier to do that than it

531
00:27:55,800 --> 00:28:00,520
Speaker 3: is to just like go on this prescribe pathway. And yeah,

532
00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 3: I mean the so much of my journey and still

533
00:28:03,520 --> 00:28:06,800
Speaker 3: today is about reminding myself that I'm enough. I actually

534
00:28:06,840 --> 00:28:09,119
Speaker 3: often wear a bracelet that says I'm enough.

535
00:28:09,840 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 1: I say that I mean to myself every day in

536
00:28:12,160 --> 00:28:14,520
Speaker 1: the mirror, I'm with you, sister. We are in that

537
00:28:14,640 --> 00:28:17,600
Speaker 1: together every day in the mirror before my day starts.

538
00:28:17,920 --> 00:28:20,200
Speaker 1: And I think it's such a reminder for the audience

539
00:28:20,240 --> 00:28:24,720
Speaker 1: out there who's struggling like to literally not think it,

540
00:28:24,800 --> 00:28:27,480
Speaker 1: but say it out loud to yourself. I am enough,

541
00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:32,119
Speaker 1: and I belong and I am here, and whatever demons

542
00:28:32,160 --> 00:28:36,639
Speaker 1: and battles like you face, saying the things out loud,

543
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:41,080
Speaker 1: that is so simple, just I am enough in this moment,

544
00:28:41,120 --> 00:28:44,480
Speaker 1: whether good or bad, I am enough. And I think

545
00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 1: that's a beautiful thing that you just said. This is

546
00:28:49,960 --> 00:28:53,640
Speaker 1: wide open and I'm your host. Ashlyn Harris, Thanks for listening.

547
00:28:53,760 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 2: We'll be right back.

548
00:28:58,360 --> 00:29:02,760
Speaker 1: Living such the height of the height of this paras

549
00:29:02,800 --> 00:29:06,560
Speaker 1: Olympics and breaking being you know, it's the first year.

550
00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 1: I'm curious when the news hit that break Dancing was

551
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,440
Speaker 1: removed from the LA twenty twenty eight, our home country,

552
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:21,280
Speaker 1: Like what I want your honest like reflection, Like I

553
00:29:21,320 --> 00:29:25,800
Speaker 1: can imagine heartbreak and frustration and all the things in between,

554
00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:28,880
Speaker 1: But what was like when did you find out? What

555
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:31,320
Speaker 1: was the moment? What what did you feel? What was

556
00:29:31,360 --> 00:29:34,200
Speaker 1: the first thing you did? Like walk us kind of

557
00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 1: through that.

558
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:40,120
Speaker 3: So there were rumblings and we were pretty sure that

559
00:29:40,160 --> 00:29:44,440
Speaker 3: it wasn't going to be in LA included. We actually

560
00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:46,960
Speaker 3: like officially officially got the news. We were at the

561
00:29:47,000 --> 00:29:49,640
Speaker 3: Olympic Training Center in Colora Springs, and so it was

562
00:29:49,680 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 3: all of us that we're trying to be on Team

563
00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:54,960
Speaker 3: USA at that point, I don't believe any of us

564
00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,840
Speaker 3: had maybe only a few of us that qualified.

565
00:29:57,480 --> 00:29:59,880
Speaker 2: Or maybe not. I don't I don't remember.

566
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:04,760
Speaker 3: But we were sitting in a room and they officially,

567
00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:08,160
Speaker 3: you know, our our team lead told us breaking wouldn't

568
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:11,400
Speaker 3: be included, and the room just went silent. You know,

569
00:30:11,440 --> 00:30:14,480
Speaker 3: we were all devastated, but it was it was just like,

570
00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:21,480
Speaker 3: I feel like collective disappointment because breaking comes from communities

571
00:30:21,480 --> 00:30:23,560
Speaker 3: that don't have a lot, and we knew at the

572
00:30:23,640 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 3: end of the day the reason why we weren't included

573
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:28,080
Speaker 3: in LA One of the big reasons is because we

574
00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:32,040
Speaker 3: didn't have money to give to the associations that were,

575
00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:36,240
Speaker 3: you know, organizing everything. Like, at the end of the day,

576
00:30:36,240 --> 00:30:37,880
Speaker 3: a lot of the stuff does come down to money.

577
00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,400
Speaker 3: We were lucky in France that France put Breaking in

578
00:30:40,520 --> 00:30:43,080
Speaker 3: despite us not having money, because France has such a

579
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:47,160
Speaker 3: rich culture of supporting the arts and supporting dance, you know,

580
00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 3: so they were willing to do that. But when that happened,

581
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,440
Speaker 3: it was just like, you know, it was disappointment, but

582
00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,680
Speaker 3: also like kind of knew it was going to happen

583
00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 3: because this is this is what we do here in

584
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,960
Speaker 3: the States. We tend to put money over everything else.

585
00:31:03,280 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 3: And of course we all knew that the breaking community

586
00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:08,920
Speaker 3: doesn't have the money to give. We don't have the

587
00:31:08,920 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 3: money to put up to get into another And I'm

588
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:15,400
Speaker 3: not saying that like I personally don't know. I don't

589
00:31:15,400 --> 00:31:17,640
Speaker 3: believe people like literally paid dollars to put it in

590
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 3: but it's in terms of like sponsorship and stuff, right, Like,

591
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 3: we just don't have money as a community to be

592
00:31:21,840 --> 00:31:25,920
Speaker 3: doing that. But what was so disappointing is breaking is

593
00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,960
Speaker 3: one of the most financially accessible sports in the Olympics,

594
00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,000
Speaker 3: or at least was in Paris, right Like, we all

595
00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:33,520
Speaker 3: still dance in community centers. A lot of people like

596
00:31:33,560 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 3: practicing their garages and in other people's garages. We go

597
00:31:37,960 --> 00:31:39,800
Speaker 3: to like dance spaces where I think the most I

598
00:31:39,840 --> 00:31:43,800
Speaker 3: pay for practice is like seven dollars, But you can

599
00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:47,160
Speaker 3: find free spaces everywhere. You know, most people don't pay

600
00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,360
Speaker 3: for lessons. Some do nowadays, especially in other countries, but

601
00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:52,760
Speaker 3: in the States, I mean, it's still just like these

602
00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:56,240
Speaker 3: big open spaces you go and if you're eager to learn,

603
00:31:56,280 --> 00:31:58,719
Speaker 3: you can walk up to someone and ask. You have

604
00:31:58,760 --> 00:32:00,720
Speaker 3: a lot of parents of kid to come up and

605
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:02,760
Speaker 3: will ask the people around like, hey, do you mind

606
00:32:02,760 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 3: teaching my kid? You know, like this is it's such

607
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:11,280
Speaker 3: a community oriented, community based sports still, so that makes

608
00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 3: it so that like regular people can end up at

609
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:19,920
Speaker 3: the Olympics, you know, and to have that taken away

610
00:32:20,040 --> 00:32:23,200
Speaker 3: and for the Olympics city and I'm I know there

611
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:26,240
Speaker 3: are nonprofit organizations that help people who have less means

612
00:32:26,320 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 3: get into other sports, right, Like, I know that they're

613
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:33,160
Speaker 3: but at it's true in its essence, you know, breaking

614
00:32:33,320 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 3: is that way already and hasn't turned into this like

615
00:32:36,200 --> 00:32:40,280
Speaker 3: very money driven world. Yet the fact that it's accessible

616
00:32:40,320 --> 00:32:42,360
Speaker 3: also means that we have more diversity in our sport

617
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,720
Speaker 3: than we do with some of the others, right, And

618
00:32:44,800 --> 00:32:48,200
Speaker 3: so to me, it was such a celebration of that

619
00:32:48,280 --> 00:32:50,600
Speaker 3: when we were at the Games, cause you even see

620
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,240
Speaker 3: in the dancers and yeah, on the women's side, Asia

621
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:54,719
Speaker 3: like kind of dominated, so you do have a lot

622
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 3: of Asian breakers out there that were like really good,

623
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 3: But on the men's side, you saw so much diversity, right,

624
00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:03,320
Speaker 3: And I mean even on the woman side there was

625
00:33:03,400 --> 00:33:06,120
Speaker 3: some right at least, like I feel like generally still

626
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 3: a little bit morem than in many of the other sports.

627
00:33:11,320 --> 00:33:14,720
Speaker 3: But we're taking that away from the Games. We're taking

628
00:33:14,760 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 3: that one thing that was added that is accessible, and

629
00:33:18,360 --> 00:33:21,520
Speaker 3: so that to me was really disappointing. And then that

630
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:24,840
Speaker 3: and the fact that like the Games did bring more

631
00:33:24,840 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 3: awareness into our world, it did bring some sponsorship, some

632
00:33:28,920 --> 00:33:31,680
Speaker 3: money into our sport, and so you had some of

633
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,800
Speaker 3: the bigger brands coming in and sponsoring some of the

634
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,040
Speaker 3: like you know, the circuits of breaking circuits, the competitive

635
00:33:38,040 --> 00:33:40,400
Speaker 3: circuits that we have, and so that was really nice

636
00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,280
Speaker 3: because we were just able to do a little bit more,

637
00:33:42,480 --> 00:33:44,160
Speaker 3: able to do a little bit more in terms of

638
00:33:44,200 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 3: getting the word out, getting people in, getting people excited,

639
00:33:47,440 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 3: and then also paying money to the dancers that were there.

640
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:51,440
Speaker 3: You know, the purse was a little bit bigger for

641
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,640
Speaker 3: these events. A lot of times we're going to these

642
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:56,240
Speaker 3: events and the prices like two hundred bucks, and like

643
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 3: that's what we're kind of used to, you know. And

644
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:02,720
Speaker 3: then you have a couple here and there, you know, like.

645
00:34:02,560 --> 00:34:05,240
Speaker 1: Is it difficult to make a living or is this

646
00:34:05,360 --> 00:34:09,240
Speaker 1: you feel like, you know, you have to work another

647
00:34:09,360 --> 00:34:14,239
Speaker 1: job to provide for yourself while you're doing what you love.

648
00:34:15,280 --> 00:34:17,959
Speaker 3: You absolutely have to work another job. There's a few

649
00:34:18,000 --> 00:34:20,520
Speaker 3: people who like maybe own a dance studio and they're

650
00:34:20,520 --> 00:34:23,000
Speaker 3: able to, but I mean we're talking just a handful

651
00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:25,960
Speaker 3: in the US. It is a little different in other

652
00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:29,880
Speaker 3: places where government sponsors dance in art a little more

653
00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:33,520
Speaker 3: fully than the United States, But here it's it's so hard.

654
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:37,280
Speaker 3: I mean, even now I'm working as a shining conditioning

655
00:34:37,280 --> 00:34:39,919
Speaker 3: coach as a personal trainer, because I want to set

656
00:34:39,960 --> 00:34:42,719
Speaker 3: up a business that makes enough money so that I

657
00:34:42,719 --> 00:34:46,200
Speaker 3: can open my own nonprofit dance center. But coming out

658
00:34:46,239 --> 00:34:48,719
Speaker 3: the Games, I you know, there was no way I

659
00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:49,919
Speaker 3: was going to be able to do that on my own.

660
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:52,279
Speaker 3: I didn't financially, I couldn't do it. And then the

661
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,520
Speaker 3: other thing is I don't feel comfortable. I mean, this

662
00:34:54,560 --> 00:34:55,920
Speaker 3: is a bit of an aside, but I don't want

663
00:34:55,960 --> 00:34:58,279
Speaker 3: to take more from the community either, So I want

664
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:03,200
Speaker 3: this accessible in order to do that. You know, it's grants,

665
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:06,319
Speaker 3: it's donations. Yeah, and there's just not a lot of that.

666
00:35:06,360 --> 00:35:07,279
Speaker 3: It's hard and.

667
00:35:07,239 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 1: So well not a lot of that now with this

668
00:35:09,560 --> 00:35:15,520
Speaker 1: political climate, everything's being yanked. So yeah, I feel that

669
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:18,840
Speaker 1: in my bones. And I'm curious now, as a role

670
00:35:18,960 --> 00:35:23,160
Speaker 1: model and leader in this space, how are you going

671
00:35:23,239 --> 00:35:26,080
Speaker 1: to protect the art form? Because I think about these

672
00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 1: younger kids who see this, and I you know, I

673
00:35:29,200 --> 00:35:31,160
Speaker 1: never would want them to think, well, I got to

674
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:34,920
Speaker 1: stop doing this because there's no future in it. So like,

675
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:39,600
Speaker 1: as someone who's a trailblazer in this space, you know,

676
00:35:39,680 --> 00:35:43,799
Speaker 1: how are you reaching these young kids to keep this

677
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:45,040
Speaker 1: art form alive?

678
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:49,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, to be honest, right now, I'm really

679
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:52,080
Speaker 3: focused on just being able to get the means to

680
00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:54,960
Speaker 3: set up a dance center so that I can do

681
00:35:55,000 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 3: because we don't have anything like that in New York City,

682
00:35:58,400 --> 00:36:00,160
Speaker 3: which is the same because it's where it started. We

683
00:36:00,200 --> 00:36:04,680
Speaker 3: have a couple dance studios, but no like larger nonprofit

684
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:09,200
Speaker 3: dedicated to what we do. So that's kind of what

685
00:36:09,560 --> 00:36:12,760
Speaker 3: I want to get started, so people traveling can come

686
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:16,040
Speaker 3: and learn and share and be part of the community

687
00:36:16,120 --> 00:36:19,200
Speaker 3: and stuff like that. But I do think it's on

688
00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,640
Speaker 3: us as a whole, as a collective to start creating

689
00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:27,960
Speaker 3: opportunities because you know, it's been shown that we can't

690
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:29,440
Speaker 3: just wait for someone to come in and give it

691
00:36:29,480 --> 00:36:32,160
Speaker 3: to us, right And I mean, like we we knew

692
00:36:32,200 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 3: better already. But I think so many of us were

693
00:36:34,600 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 3: hoping that the Olympic Pathway might be something that was

694
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 3: a bit more sustainable. Had it been included in LA

695
00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,240
Speaker 3: I think there would probably sponsors who would stick around,

696
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,600
Speaker 3: you know, because there was so much excitement at the Games,

697
00:36:45,840 --> 00:36:47,520
Speaker 3: and I think that a lot of that would have

698
00:36:47,520 --> 00:36:50,920
Speaker 3: continued because it was a really like high energy, super

699
00:36:50,960 --> 00:36:53,600
Speaker 3: fun event at the Games that is so different from

700
00:36:53,640 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 3: a lot of the other Olympic sports that and you

701
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:59,080
Speaker 3: have these like cool young people who dress cool, who

702
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 3: have like all this sweat, you know. So it's like

703
00:37:02,080 --> 00:37:04,840
Speaker 3: there's so much about it that's like really great for

704
00:37:05,120 --> 00:37:09,400
Speaker 3: to brand to get behind. But anyways, you know that's

705
00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:12,279
Speaker 3: that's gone, you know, if you have come in and

706
00:37:12,320 --> 00:37:14,759
Speaker 3: if you still give me a little money, but you know,

707
00:37:14,800 --> 00:37:17,439
Speaker 3: it's really about us creating those circuits to build those

708
00:37:17,520 --> 00:37:20,239
Speaker 3: partnerships ourselves. You know, Like I have some connections down

709
00:37:20,239 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 3: the road. I'd like to use them to potentially fund

710
00:37:23,360 --> 00:37:27,200
Speaker 3: some breaking circuits and some programs and things like that

711
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:28,919
Speaker 3: so that we can give back in a different way.

712
00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:32,480
Speaker 3: But yeah, I really think it it is on us

713
00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:34,400
Speaker 3: to create what that looks like.

714
00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:39,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, absolutely, And in this next chapter of your life,

715
00:37:39,360 --> 00:37:42,839
Speaker 1: not just an athlete, not just a breaker, Like what

716
00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:46,439
Speaker 1: do you see for yourself as sunny? Like what is

717
00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:49,400
Speaker 1: what do you feel like is next?

718
00:37:49,920 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 3: I mean, to be honest, what I've found is and

719
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,279
Speaker 3: I've always been this way, and I think some of

720
00:37:55,320 --> 00:37:58,680
Speaker 3: it initially was me running away from helping myself. Is

721
00:37:58,719 --> 00:38:01,279
Speaker 3: I've always helped others, and I think a little bit

722
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,920
Speaker 3: of that was because I didn't believe I was worthy

723
00:38:03,960 --> 00:38:06,560
Speaker 3: of it, you know, so you're helping everyone else around

724
00:38:06,600 --> 00:38:09,960
Speaker 3: you because that like makes you more worthy, right. Well,

725
00:38:10,160 --> 00:38:12,799
Speaker 3: so some of this journey, obviously is still working on

726
00:38:12,840 --> 00:38:16,400
Speaker 3: me feeling like I'm enough and reminding myself that I

727
00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:18,839
Speaker 3: am I am enough and I am worthy and I

728
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,920
Speaker 3: do deserve to be happy. And that's kind of some

729
00:38:21,960 --> 00:38:25,280
Speaker 3: of my daily work. And you know, it gets better

730
00:38:25,680 --> 00:38:28,680
Speaker 3: most days. Some days you don't have days, and that's okay.

731
00:38:30,040 --> 00:38:32,720
Speaker 3: But what I found is I really truly love working

732
00:38:32,719 --> 00:38:35,239
Speaker 3: with other people and being part of their journey to

733
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,960
Speaker 3: whatever it is that they're looking for, whether it's happiness,

734
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:41,360
Speaker 3: whether it's a more fit body, whether it's sports and competition.

735
00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:45,200
Speaker 3: You know, I just love being there on that journey

736
00:38:45,239 --> 00:38:48,360
Speaker 3: with other people and helping them. So, you know, the

737
00:38:48,400 --> 00:38:52,080
Speaker 3: whole strength coach thing. Initially, I knew I wanted to

738
00:38:52,120 --> 00:38:54,240
Speaker 3: do it early on as I was training for the Games,

739
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:57,759
Speaker 3: I didn't realize how fulfilling it would be and how

740
00:38:57,840 --> 00:38:59,719
Speaker 3: much I really love not just working with adults but

741
00:38:59,760 --> 00:39:02,799
Speaker 3: also kids. I love teaching kids to dance, you know,

742
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:05,480
Speaker 3: all of this. So I just want to be in

743
00:39:05,560 --> 00:39:08,880
Speaker 3: other people's lives, supporting, you know, being that like cheerleader

744
00:39:08,880 --> 00:39:11,040
Speaker 3: in the back, like you got this, you know, during

745
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:14,960
Speaker 3: your highs and lows, and and so that's kind of

746
00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:16,319
Speaker 3: where I see the rest of my life is just

747
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:19,480
Speaker 3: being that person for other people and then for myself.

748
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:20,000
Speaker 2: Beautiful.

749
00:39:20,760 --> 00:39:23,160
Speaker 1: We need more people like you in this world, for sure.

750
00:39:23,960 --> 00:39:27,680
Speaker 1: And I tell you what, some of the most some

751
00:39:27,719 --> 00:39:31,600
Speaker 1: of the most influential people in my life have always

752
00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:35,080
Speaker 1: been my mentors and coaches as a kid, Like they

753
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:40,879
Speaker 1: single handedly had the biggest impact in my life. And

754
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,520
Speaker 1: I don't say that lightly, and I don't take it lightly.

755
00:39:43,600 --> 00:39:45,759
Speaker 1: And I think that's why you and I leverage our

756
00:39:45,800 --> 00:39:49,320
Speaker 1: platforms to speak up for the right things to really

757
00:39:50,600 --> 00:39:55,000
Speaker 1: help this younger generation. Like there's just so many avenues,

758
00:39:55,160 --> 00:39:58,440
Speaker 1: and we have to keep talking about it and reiterating

759
00:39:58,560 --> 00:40:02,760
Speaker 1: the importance of leaning in when we're struggling or feeling

760
00:40:02,840 --> 00:40:08,759
Speaker 1: alone or feeling overwhelmed, and having the right access to

761
00:40:09,960 --> 00:40:12,239
Speaker 1: cope with it healthy, because I know you and I

762
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:14,880
Speaker 1: have not coped with it healthy at all times. And

763
00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,640
Speaker 1: I with that, Nope, And with that, I think this

764
00:40:18,800 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 1: is the most important question I'll ask you, and I

765
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:25,040
Speaker 1: ask every single person on this show, what moment in

766
00:40:25,080 --> 00:40:30,400
Speaker 1: your life really split you wide open. That changed everything.

767
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 1: That really was the aha, this is it, and I

768
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:37,800
Speaker 1: got to listen, and I'm going to make these changes,

769
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:42,880
Speaker 1: whether sport or life or something in between. What was

770
00:40:42,920 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 1: that moment for you?

771
00:40:44,760 --> 00:40:47,840
Speaker 3: To be honest, There's been a couple moments in my

772
00:40:47,960 --> 00:40:53,880
Speaker 3: life where things have happened and I've just taken like

773
00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:58,480
Speaker 3: an abrupt turn in my life. And I'm going to

774
00:40:58,480 --> 00:41:02,319
Speaker 3: talk about two, if that's okay. So the first one

775
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:04,600
Speaker 3: was kind of in those dark years in high school.

776
00:41:04,640 --> 00:41:07,719
Speaker 3: I remember driving. It was really late at night and

777
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:11,120
Speaker 3: I was driving from somebody's place and I actually started

778
00:41:11,120 --> 00:41:13,720
Speaker 3: hallucinating as I was driving, and I think it's because

779
00:41:13,760 --> 00:41:17,080
Speaker 3: I was so exhausted. So I was completely sober, just driving,

780
00:41:17,239 --> 00:41:20,160
Speaker 3: just tired, and I was seeing things on the road

781
00:41:20,200 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 3: that were on the road, coming to like a complete

782
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,600
Speaker 3: stop in the middle of highway. And I remember that

783
00:41:24,719 --> 00:41:26,880
Speaker 3: was the day when I was young, that was the

784
00:41:26,960 --> 00:41:29,520
Speaker 3: day that I was like, something is wrong with me.

785
00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:33,280
Speaker 3: I don't know what it is, but I need help.

786
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:36,040
Speaker 3: You know. At that time, I didn't seek help because

787
00:41:36,080 --> 00:41:40,120
Speaker 3: I didn't know what help even looked like. But I

788
00:41:40,239 --> 00:41:44,880
Speaker 3: knew I needed something in my life, you know. So

789
00:41:44,920 --> 00:41:47,640
Speaker 3: that's kind of the beginning of when I started digging

790
00:41:47,680 --> 00:41:50,560
Speaker 3: a little bit, trying, trying with the tools that I

791
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:53,759
Speaker 3: had then to take care of myself, you know, to

792
00:41:53,800 --> 00:41:57,000
Speaker 3: do something about it. And albeit some of the decisions

793
00:41:57,040 --> 00:41:59,560
Speaker 3: I made were not the smartest now in hindsight, but

794
00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:01,360
Speaker 3: you know, I was doing what I could. And I

795
00:42:01,400 --> 00:42:03,240
Speaker 3: mean one of the little things was just like trying

796
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:05,040
Speaker 3: to sleep a little bit more, even though I had

797
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:08,960
Speaker 3: no desire to sleep most nights, just trying to get

798
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:12,560
Speaker 3: myself in bed and go to bed, you know, taking

799
00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 3: up when I couldn't, Just just doing like the little

800
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:20,440
Speaker 3: minimal things. But that was really the beginning of my like, oh,

801
00:42:20,719 --> 00:42:24,759
Speaker 3: I need to get my mental health and check. And

802
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,240
Speaker 3: that happened what I guess, I was driving so like sixteen,

803
00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:30,840
Speaker 3: maybe seventeen, and then it was you know, so many

804
00:42:30,920 --> 00:42:33,080
Speaker 3: years of trying to figure out what was going on

805
00:42:33,200 --> 00:42:36,480
Speaker 3: until you know, I really kind of got a better

806
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:40,240
Speaker 3: handle on it. And then the second really really big

807
00:42:40,440 --> 00:42:44,200
Speaker 3: was the Olympic journey, was the announcement of breaking It

808
00:42:44,280 --> 00:42:49,799
Speaker 3: wasn't the actual Olympics. It was the realization that I

809
00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 3: had been standing in my own way my entire life,

810
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 3: and I was so scared of failing, so scared of

811
00:42:56,840 --> 00:43:00,040
Speaker 3: letting myself down that I had taken the safe route

812
00:43:00,080 --> 00:43:05,520
Speaker 3: and I was just constantly prioritizing myself second so that

813
00:43:05,560 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 3: I could do whatever else that the world expected me

814
00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:13,600
Speaker 3: to do. That realization was like really crushed me when

815
00:43:13,640 --> 00:43:16,360
Speaker 3: I realized that, like, I'm you know, I'm the reason

816
00:43:16,400 --> 00:43:19,239
Speaker 3: why I don't dream. I'm the reason why I don't

817
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:21,920
Speaker 3: have big I'm the reason why I never did anything

818
00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:27,040
Speaker 3: I ever really wanted to do in life. It was hard,

819
00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 3: but getting over that and saying, you know what, this

820
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:31,520
Speaker 3: is the first really big dream that I'm actually going

821
00:43:31,560 --> 00:43:34,120
Speaker 3: to go for. It is the Olympics. You know, I

822
00:43:34,120 --> 00:43:35,840
Speaker 3: thought it was gonna happen when I was like, what sixteen.

823
00:43:36,160 --> 00:43:38,279
Speaker 3: Now here I am like almost thirty six and doing it.

824
00:43:38,360 --> 00:43:42,040
Speaker 3: But like, it's never too eight. I'm going to better

825
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 3: myself and no matter how painful it is, like we're

826
00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:48,040
Speaker 3: going to We're going to go through this process. And

827
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:52,320
Speaker 3: I think that was another humongous kickstarter for growth because

828
00:43:53,120 --> 00:43:57,359
Speaker 3: it really made me face my fears and face all

829
00:43:57,400 --> 00:43:59,920
Speaker 3: those walls that I had put up my entire life

830
00:44:00,320 --> 00:44:02,200
Speaker 3: and break them down one by one so that I

831
00:44:02,239 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 3: could show up with the games and have that, you know,

832
00:44:04,160 --> 00:44:07,239
Speaker 3: that best moment of my life. Things incredible.

833
00:44:07,280 --> 00:44:11,319
Speaker 1: So yeah, well, Sonny, thank you for your bravery, thank

834
00:44:11,360 --> 00:44:14,760
Speaker 1: you for your vulnerability, thank you for sharing your gift

835
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:19,560
Speaker 1: to all of us with such grace and power, and

836
00:44:19,920 --> 00:44:23,600
Speaker 1: thanks for coming on to Wide Open. And it has

837
00:44:23,640 --> 00:44:26,759
Speaker 1: been an absolute pleasure to watch you, to follow you,

838
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:30,840
Speaker 1: and I wish nothing but the best for you and

839
00:44:31,000 --> 00:44:35,640
Speaker 1: opening this safe space for not only yourself, but you know,

840
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:38,319
Speaker 1: for this younger generation wanting to be just like you.

841
00:44:39,120 --> 00:44:41,000
Speaker 1: So thank you for coming on Wide Open.

842
00:44:41,480 --> 00:44:43,960
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for having me. This is lovely.

843
00:44:44,200 --> 00:44:45,160
Speaker 3: I really appreciate you.

844
00:44:45,680 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 1: All Right, everyone, We'll see you next week on another

845
00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:57,360
Speaker 1: episode of Wide Open with Ashland Harris. Wide Open with

846
00:44:57,440 --> 00:45:01,440
Speaker 1: Ashland Harris is an iHeart women's sports production. You can

847
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:05,440
Speaker 1: find us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever

848
00:45:05,480 --> 00:45:09,920
Speaker 1: you get your podcasts. Our producers are Carmen Borca Correo,

849
00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:16,840
Speaker 1: Emily Maronoff, and Lucy Jones. Production assistants from Malia Aguidello.

850
00:45:16,880 --> 00:45:21,880
Speaker 1: Our executive producers are Jesse Katz, Jenny Kaplan, and Emily Rudder.

851
00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:25,879
Speaker 1: Our editors are Jenny Kaplan and Emily Rudder. And I'm

852
00:45:25,920 --> 00:45:34,040
Speaker 1: your host, Ashlyn Harris.