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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more, please

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Speaker 1: please please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot

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Speaker 1: com and click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading

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Speaker 1: your letter live on the air, just like I'm going

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Speaker 1: to read this one. Here. That here, that it's a

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Speaker 1: lot a lot of pages. There we got it for you.

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Speaker 1: Here it is Strawberry Letter subject single and satisfied or

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Speaker 1: married and miserable. Do you see? There? You go with that?

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Speaker 1: I've been married twice and I believe my second husband

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Speaker 1: was the man of my dreams, but I truly didn't

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Speaker 1: see it at the time. During my second marriage, I

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Speaker 1: got bored with the relationship. Even though he was a

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Speaker 1: great man, he had a tendency to be jealous, so

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Speaker 1: I stopped hanging out with my girlfriends. So I stopped

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Speaker 1: hanging out with my girlfriends to keep the peace at home.

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Speaker 1: After about three years of staying home, I decided to

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Speaker 1: start back meeting my girlfriends after work. Often my husband

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Speaker 1: would be angry when I got home, but I didn't

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Speaker 1: care because I had met a handsome and intriguing man

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Speaker 1: and I was having an affair. I got so caught

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Speaker 1: up with my new life that I decided it was

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Speaker 1: best to leave my husband. We've been separated for three years,

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Speaker 1: and the first year without him was amazing. I was

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Speaker 1: hanging out, traveling, going to the club, meeting new guys,

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Speaker 1: and having great sex. At first, my husband kept reaching

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Speaker 1: out to me, asking to fix our marriage, but I

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Speaker 1: wasn't interested then. Now that I will be forty five

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Speaker 1: years old, I've had a change of heart. I'm tired

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Speaker 1: of the clubs and seeing the same old people every

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Speaker 1: time I go out. I have been missing my home

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Speaker 1: life and my husband. My girls told me that the

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Speaker 1: grass is not always greener on the other side, but

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Speaker 1: they also said they'd rather be single and free than

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Speaker 1: be with a man just for companionship. I want to

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Speaker 1: move back into my house and be the wife my

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Speaker 1: husband needs. But there's just one problem. He doesn't seem

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Speaker 1: to care about me coming home now. I can't read

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Speaker 1: his mind, but I'm sure that he still loves me.

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Speaker 1: How can I let him know that I made a

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Speaker 1: big mistake and that I still love him? Or should

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Speaker 1: I just leave it alone and pray that another decent

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Speaker 1: man will want to marry me. I don't want to

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Speaker 1: grow old alone. Is there any advice you can offer me? Well,

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Speaker 1: first of all, if that's the only reason you want

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Speaker 1: your husband back, because you don't want to grow old alone,

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Speaker 1: or you know, because you think some other man might,

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Speaker 1: you know, take his place if he doesn't take you back,

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Speaker 1: those are not the good reasons to get back in

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Speaker 1: a relationship and especially in marriage. Okay, and boy, weren't

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Speaker 1: your friends right on this one? The grass isn't always

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Speaker 1: greener on the other side, No, it isn't. It always

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Speaker 1: teaches you that lesson about out, you know, taking people

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Speaker 1: for granted, and when you leave them for selfish reasons,

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Speaker 1: it never turns out. Right, that's what you said. You

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Speaker 1: got bored with the relationship. You were having an affair,

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Speaker 1: you were traveling, you were having great sex, meeting great guys.

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Speaker 1: Just selfish, I mean, you were just selfish, selfish, selfish,

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Speaker 1: and you know you were well on your way, and

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Speaker 1: you could still be doing that losing your husband if

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Speaker 1: you haven't lost him already because he stopped reaching out

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Speaker 1: to you, you said. It could be because he found

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Speaker 1: someone else, or it could be because he thinks that

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Speaker 1: you don't want him in your life. Anymore. But here's

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Speaker 1: where your girlfriends need to really mind their own business.

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Speaker 1: They told you that they'd rather be free and single

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Speaker 1: than to be with a man just for companionship. Please

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Speaker 1: don't listen to your girls. Okay, this if you break

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Speaker 1: it down, this is just another way of saying misery

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Speaker 1: loves company. They're single and free and they don't want

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Speaker 1: to be with a man for companionship. They're putting that

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Speaker 1: off on you because that's how they are. Okay, that's

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Speaker 1: not your now, that is not your life. Do not

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Speaker 1: listen to your girls. If I were you, if you

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Speaker 1: really want this man back, you know, get on the phone,

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Speaker 1: go see him, whatever you have to do. Apologize, See

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Speaker 1: if there's any chance. You say you think he still

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Speaker 1: loves you and you still love him, See if there's

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Speaker 1: any chance of a reconciliation with him. Some guys will

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Speaker 1: take you back after you've been whiling like you've been wiling.

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Speaker 1: Some won't. You know, there's a chance it's a risk

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Speaker 1: you're gonna have to take. Tell him you made a

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Speaker 1: horrible mistake. He didn't deserve that. You apologize, You've grown

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Speaker 1: with its experience. Talk to him like a grown woman.

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Speaker 1: Don't mention anything about you getting forty five and you

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Speaker 1: don't want to grow old alone and all of that.

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Speaker 1: You know, talk to him, see where his head is.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe you know there's still some love there that

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Speaker 1: you guys, can you know, salvage in this relationship? And

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Speaker 1: then you know, maybe not, and you'll have to chalk

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Speaker 1: it up to the game because you know you're reckless

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Speaker 1: behavior and you're gonna have to move on. Steve, you

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Speaker 1: blew it. Just need the truth. This is a letter

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Speaker 1: bout somebody that blew it. We all can learn from

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Speaker 1: this one right here. This your second husband was a

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Speaker 1: man of your dreams. Obviously you this your second marriage.

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Speaker 1: So so I ain't working right. You're looking at somebody

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Speaker 1: hadn't know, but I didn't see it this time doing

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Speaker 1: my second marriage, I got bored with the relationship. That's

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Speaker 1: because relationships after the honeymoon phase is the relationship now.

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Speaker 1: Doesn't mean it gets boring, but you got to start

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Speaker 1: working at it. And the work you got to put

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Speaker 1: in it's the same work that you did to try

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Speaker 1: to get the relationship. It's the same work you got

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Speaker 1: to do now to re enact the relationship and put

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Speaker 1: the relationship back on course, but y'all ain't doing that.

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Speaker 1: And after about the three years of staying home, you

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Speaker 1: know your husband was jealous and you stopped hanging out

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Speaker 1: with your girlfriends, just keep the peace. Three years of

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Speaker 1: staying home, you decided to start back meeting your girlfriends

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Speaker 1: after work often, well, you didn't really start decided to

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Speaker 1: seeing your girlfriends. You wanted to go back out because

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Speaker 1: you was bored. Now you jumped right from girlfriends to

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Speaker 1: your husband. Will be angry when I got home, and

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Speaker 1: you didn't care. And you know why you didn't care,

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Speaker 1: because you met a handsome, intriguing man and you started

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Speaker 1: having an affair. Got so caught up in your new life.

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Speaker 1: I decided it was best to leave my husband. You

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Speaker 1: decided it was best for you to leave your hume.

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Speaker 1: This show's second match. You ain't even telling us how

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Speaker 1: to first one in it, but something tells me you

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Speaker 1: got bored in that one too. We'll be back with

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Speaker 1: the rest of this Is that a Ship be called?

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Speaker 1: This is how I blew it all? Right? Listen, we'll

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Speaker 1: have part two of Steve's response coming up at twenty

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Speaker 1: three minutes after the hour. Subject of today's Strawberry Letters

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Speaker 1: single and satisfied or married and miserable. We'll get back

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Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening, all right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: Come on, Let's recap today's Strawberry letters. Subject single and

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Speaker 1: satisfied or married and single. Well, see satisfied and married

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Speaker 1: and miserable. Really, where you fix that problem? You met

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Speaker 1: your second husband, got bored, had a tendency to be

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Speaker 1: jealous your husband, so you stopped hanging out with your girlfriends,

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Speaker 1: keep your peace. Three years of staying at home, you

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Speaker 1: decided to take back to meeting your girlfriends after work.

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Speaker 1: My husband be angry when you got home, but I

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Speaker 1: ain't care why because you didn't care because you had

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Speaker 1: met a handsome, intriguing man and I'm having an affair.

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Speaker 1: Got so caught up in the new life that you

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Speaker 1: decided it was best to leave my husband. This was

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Speaker 1: your decision to leave my husband. Okay, you to left

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Speaker 1: you out. We've been separated now for three years. The

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Speaker 1: first year without him was amazing. I was hanging out, traveling,

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Speaker 1: going to clubs and meeting new guys, having great sex.

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Speaker 1: And at first your husband was reaching out to you,

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Speaker 1: you know, asking you to fix your marriage. But no, no,

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Speaker 1: A little bit fast, and I was not interested. Now

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Speaker 1: I will be forty five years old soon. Yeah, here

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Speaker 1: we go. I've had to change your heart. I'm tired

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Speaker 1: of the clubs and seeing the same old people every

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Speaker 1: time I go out. See, now we get to the

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Speaker 1: old analogy that I gave. That's why me and that's over,

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Speaker 1: forty It's time for you to come on out the field.

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Speaker 1: See I've told me and this right here, because all

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Speaker 1: horses don't look good in the field. They got that

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Speaker 1: swagging their back, They got the little dipping their back,

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Speaker 1: an old horse. Then his stomach is almost touching the grass. Well,

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Speaker 1: see that's now he out there in the fielding them

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Speaker 1: young stallions is running behind him, up on their hind legs,

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Speaker 1: fighting him. They're back there, and this old horse just

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Speaker 1: standing in the field, just looking just crazy. That's because

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Speaker 1: his ass don't be long in the field. Now you're

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Speaker 1: the forty five year old woman. I don't care what

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Speaker 1: you look like, fine or not. Forty five year old

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Speaker 1: woman in a club, single girl, you're crazy. That ain't

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Speaker 1: no life. Don't nobody really want so Now you didn't

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Speaker 1: had to change your heart. You tied to the clubs,

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Speaker 1: and you missing my home life with my husband. My

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Speaker 1: girls told me that the grass is not always green

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Speaker 1: on the other side. That's a true statement, But they

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Speaker 1: also said they'd rather be single and freedom with a

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Speaker 1: man just to be in a relationship. All these helpers

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Speaker 1: is single. I want to move back into my house

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Speaker 1: and be the wife my husband needs. But there's just

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Speaker 1: one problem. He doesn't seem to care about me coming

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Speaker 1: home now. Uh, he doesn't seem to care about me

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Speaker 1: coming home now. Three years the man bade you, come on, baby,

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Speaker 1: let's make our marriage work. Now I'm out here running him,

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Speaker 1: I'm sleeping round with me and I'm traveling. Then you

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Speaker 1: found out, ain't none im want you? Oh because just

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Speaker 1: like you see the same people at the club, dude,

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Speaker 1: see the same chicks at the club. They hadn't had you,

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Speaker 1: ain't none don't want you. He doesn't seem to care

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Speaker 1: about me coming home now. You know why because you

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Speaker 1: guess what you while you was out in the field

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Speaker 1: for three years and your husband's begging you, guess what

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Speaker 1: your husband went on and did he got new horse? Really? Yeah,

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Speaker 1: who liked coming home? Who won't a man that's kind

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Speaker 1: of jealous of her being out? He'd probably met a woman. Hey,

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Speaker 1: what the hell I wanted a club fault? You got

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Speaker 1: a house? You go home at night. Wait a minute,

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Speaker 1: you love me? Your husband got somebody, she says. Now,

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Speaker 1: I can't read his mind, but I'm sure that he

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Speaker 1: still loves me. If he still loved for you, if

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Speaker 1: he still loved you, he'd still be calling you. He

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Speaker 1: might still love you, but he don't give a damn

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Speaker 1: if you come to the house right now. You come

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Speaker 1: over to the house right now. But it's gonna be

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Speaker 1: crowded though. Oh tell you right now. You can going

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Speaker 1: back to the house if you want to. But it's

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Speaker 1: somebody else up there in that bad room. Heel's pointed

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Speaker 1: towards to kill it. It's a lot going on up

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Speaker 1: in that right now. I can tell your answer the

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Speaker 1: house if you want to. But remember, you're the same one.

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Speaker 1: Ain't won't over there. You're the same one for three

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Speaker 1: years he begged you, you wasn't interested. How can I

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Speaker 1: let him know that I made a big mistake. You

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Speaker 1: ain't gotta let him know. He already know you made

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Speaker 1: a big mistake. Every woman listening to this letter know

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Speaker 1: you made a big mistake because you had a good

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Speaker 1: thing wasn't nothing wrong. He just wants you going out

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Speaker 1: with your girlfriends. Now, he probably y'all could have made

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Speaker 1: a compromise or something, But then when you went back

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Speaker 1: to going with your girlfriends, you wouldn't got you a

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Speaker 1: dude having a fam alls. All actions have consequences, and

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Speaker 1: now your action is dealing with the consequences. How should

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Speaker 1: I let him know I still love him? Or should

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Speaker 1: I just leave it alone and pray that another decent

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Speaker 1: man will want me to marry him. Well, hold up, now,

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Speaker 1: in order to get a decent man, you're gonna have

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Speaker 1: to be decent. Decent, that's right, and you have it.

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Speaker 1: You didn't treat him decent in that marriage, and I

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Speaker 1: probably didn't treat the first one decent. So until you

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Speaker 1: become a decent person, you can't really expect to get

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Speaker 1: a decent man. You attract what you are, so until

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Speaker 1: you become a decent person, you're not gonna get a

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Speaker 1: decent man. That's all. It is, all right, Steve, thank you.

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Speaker 1: You will not hold and alone. You will not post

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Speaker 1: your comments on today's Strawberry Letter. It's Steve Harvey FM

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Speaker 1: on Instagram and Facebook and check out the Strawberry Letter

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Speaker 1: podcast on the Man. Coming up. At forty six minutes

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Speaker 1: after the hour, Oprah Winfrey took a fall on stage,

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Speaker 1: but guess what she kept going. That's right, she got

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Speaker 1: up and kept going. We'll talk about some of our

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Speaker 1: embarrassing falls right after this. You're listening to this Stave

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Speaker 1: Harpy Morning Show