1 00:00:00,240 --> 00:00:02,320 Speaker 1: I lent my mom my car for work and she 2 00:00:02,520 --> 00:00:07,160 Speaker 1: refuses to give it back. Don't rob me, it's not 3 00:00:07,320 --> 00:00:10,920 Speaker 1: finders keepers. My mom's car was rear ended, so while 4 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:13,640 Speaker 1: she was waiting for her insurance to decide if they 5 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,720 Speaker 1: were going to cover the repair or not, I decided 6 00:00:16,760 --> 00:00:19,680 Speaker 1: I'd let her use my car. We spoke on the 7 00:00:19,680 --> 00:00:22,480 Speaker 1: phone and agreed that I would lend her my twenty 8 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:26,400 Speaker 1: thirteen Toyota Corolla l E from the dates July twenty 9 00:00:26,440 --> 00:00:30,040 Speaker 1: third to August second, which would be a Friday, very specific, 10 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:34,280 Speaker 1: very specific dates. By the way, this comes from Unhappy 11 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:37,839 Speaker 1: Smoke two three eight on the best of Reddit or 12 00:00:37,920 --> 00:00:42,000 Speaker 1: updates subreddit. So the reason I agreed was because she 13 00:00:42,040 --> 00:00:45,040 Speaker 1: told me that on the Friday she could start working 14 00:00:45,040 --> 00:00:47,839 Speaker 1: from home and wouldn't need a car as desperately. But 15 00:00:47,920 --> 00:00:50,120 Speaker 1: I specifically told her I needed my car back on 16 00:00:50,159 --> 00:00:52,440 Speaker 1: this specific date because I am in the middle of 17 00:00:52,479 --> 00:00:54,960 Speaker 1: starting a small auto shop, which is a good forty 18 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:57,840 Speaker 1: miles away from where I live. Nice stupid of me, 19 00:00:58,040 --> 00:00:59,760 Speaker 1: I know, but I wanted to be a good son 20 00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:02,880 Speaker 1: and help out my ma. My ma, my ma gotta 21 00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:06,960 Speaker 1: help my mat me car. What accident you doing? 22 00:01:07,400 --> 00:01:11,680 Speaker 2: I was kind of like a like a a Boston 23 00:01:11,840 --> 00:01:12,800 Speaker 2: Boston like. 24 00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,560 Speaker 1: I gotta help my ma, she needs my car. 25 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:17,199 Speaker 3: Do you have never seen that vine? 26 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:21,160 Speaker 1: Nor Plus At the time, I didn't need a car. 27 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,280 Speaker 1: The paperwork wouldn't be done until the fifth or sixth 28 00:01:24,360 --> 00:01:28,840 Speaker 1: of August. Anyway, The problem is that it's now August thirteenth, 29 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,360 Speaker 1: uh oh, and she still has not yet returned my 30 00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:36,640 Speaker 1: car to me. What do you mean, Mama? I've called, texted, 31 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:39,920 Speaker 1: left voicemails, and the whole nine yards. I even ordered 32 00:01:39,920 --> 00:01:41,880 Speaker 1: a lyft ride to her house in an attempt to 33 00:01:41,920 --> 00:01:44,600 Speaker 1: get my car, only to find that she'd locked it 34 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,720 Speaker 1: up in her garage and refused to answer the door 35 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: when I knocked. 36 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:50,160 Speaker 3: Dude, that's crazy. 37 00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:52,600 Speaker 1: I called the police, who showed up, knocked on the 38 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 1: door and told me that because I allowed her to 39 00:01:54,560 --> 00:01:57,200 Speaker 1: use my car, this was a civil matter and I'd 40 00:01:57,280 --> 00:01:59,559 Speaker 1: have to do a ten day letter of demand before 41 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,560 Speaker 1: I could it stolen. The problem is that I am 42 00:02:02,560 --> 00:02:05,360 Speaker 1: a twenty four year old who just sunk seventy nine 43 00:02:05,480 --> 00:02:08,920 Speaker 1: hundred dollars into my garage startup, and I can't afford 44 00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:11,079 Speaker 1: to sit waiting for ten days. Not in Katie. 45 00:02:11,280 --> 00:02:13,079 Speaker 3: Maybe that's a city making money. 46 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 1: Well, if it's a garage startup, then why do you 47 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,360 Speaker 1: need to call No. 48 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:19,160 Speaker 2: No, no, it's a it's a I think it's the 49 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:21,200 Speaker 2: garage that he his automotive shop? 50 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:21,560 Speaker 4: Is it? 51 00:02:21,639 --> 00:02:24,360 Speaker 3: So he like rents a like it's like an automotive shop. 52 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:28,000 Speaker 1: Garage, but it was sort of a sort of an apple, 53 00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:31,760 Speaker 1: a little like Silicon Valley situation. 54 00:02:31,880 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 3: Are you be on your computer you don't need anywhere. 55 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:36,560 Speaker 2: Reading cop Bradge And he said he started an automotive thing, 56 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,320 Speaker 2: and it's a you know, the garage of the You 57 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:39,840 Speaker 2: don't need to. 58 00:02:40,600 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 1: Tell me why you needed to cop Okay. I have 59 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,679 Speaker 1: two trusted mechanics who land their jobs to come work 60 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,040 Speaker 1: with me, who haven't been paid or given work yet. 61 00:02:50,120 --> 00:02:52,480 Speaker 1: Because I can't get to my shop and get the 62 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,480 Speaker 1: server and shop manager system up and running. I literally 63 00:02:55,560 --> 00:02:57,760 Speaker 1: only have two hundred dollars left, so I can't afford 64 00:02:57,800 --> 00:03:01,560 Speaker 1: taking lift rides, ripping and run around town searching for her. 65 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,080 Speaker 1: I feel like the biggest effing idiot. I feel like that. 66 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 1: That's how he sounds. We're letting myself get put in 67 00:03:07,480 --> 00:03:09,600 Speaker 1: this situation, and I just don't know what to do. 68 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: I have my letter of demand drafted, but I'm worried 69 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,720 Speaker 1: that in that ten day window she'll damage my car 70 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,120 Speaker 1: or run it into the ground. I'm su already get 71 00:03:18,120 --> 00:03:21,600 Speaker 1: her car rear ended, so I still owe fourteen thousand 72 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:24,679 Speaker 1: dollars on and the oil change service interval was coming 73 00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:28,000 Speaker 1: up at fifty eight four h and fifty miles, which 74 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 1: I know she's not gonna pay to have done. All 75 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:33,840 Speaker 1: that BS talk about blood being thicker than water, is 76 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:37,280 Speaker 1: exactly that a load of BS. Well, if you knew 77 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:40,000 Speaker 1: the whole sane, it's the blood of the covenant is 78 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:42,760 Speaker 1: thicker than no, wait, the water of the womb, which 79 00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:46,440 Speaker 1: means that the friendships that you make through like hard 80 00:03:46,480 --> 00:03:48,680 Speaker 1: work is thicker than just family. 81 00:03:49,240 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 3: Ooh but what if you work with family, Well, then 82 00:03:51,640 --> 00:03:52,240 Speaker 3: you've made. 83 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,680 Speaker 1: Some covenant blood relevant comments. PALMETR says, have you sent 84 00:03:55,720 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: a letter of demand? Op says, I'm afraid that if 85 00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,480 Speaker 1: I do send it, she will destroy my car. But 86 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 1: if you send it, you could probably hook get her 87 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: on the hook for if she destroys it. 88 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:07,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, like, okay, it's worth this much, then you could. 89 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:09,520 Speaker 3: But yeah, also going. 90 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:13,240 Speaker 2: To it's not a great option, but it's probably the 91 00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 2: best option. 92 00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,120 Speaker 3: Ab Yeah, other than wishing and hoping she'll turn it. 93 00:04:17,440 --> 00:04:17,960 Speaker 3: She won't. 94 00:04:18,279 --> 00:04:19,800 Speaker 1: If I don't have a car, I can't get to 95 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:21,920 Speaker 1: my shop, and I don't have money to buy another one, 96 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:24,640 Speaker 1: and that Corolla only has fifty seven thousand miles. On 97 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:29,040 Speaker 1: last time I looked Opie on a relationship with their mother, 98 00:04:29,240 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 1: Opie says, I always figured our relationship was good, but 99 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 1: she's the kind of person who puts her wants and 100 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:38,039 Speaker 1: needs above anybody else. I need my car back so 101 00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:40,240 Speaker 1: I can go to work and make money. Don't care 102 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,120 Speaker 1: I have a doctor's appointment next week and needs your car. 103 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,520 Speaker 1: I knew that that's the kind of person she is, 104 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:48,400 Speaker 1: yet I still chose to let her borrow my car. 105 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: I should have known that I wouldn't get my car 106 00:04:50,920 --> 00:04:53,719 Speaker 1: back on our agreed upon dates. Commenter says, do you 107 00:04:53,720 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 1: have a spare key for it? If so, can you 108 00:04:56,240 --> 00:04:58,160 Speaker 1: wait until she goes to work, then just pick it 109 00:04:58,240 --> 00:05:01,000 Speaker 1: up from her job and leave, or if not work, 110 00:05:01,040 --> 00:05:02,720 Speaker 1: when she goes to the store or something. You might 111 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:04,280 Speaker 1: have to stake out the house all day for her 112 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:06,000 Speaker 1: to leave. But it would be worth it to get 113 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 1: your car back, and op says, yeah, I have both 114 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,359 Speaker 1: a spare key, and a lowjack tracker. But the issue 115 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:15,120 Speaker 1: is money. I only have two hundred dollars in some change. 116 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,400 Speaker 1: I know a repo job is going to cost more. Plus, 117 00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 1: because she knows that I want my car back, she's 118 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:22,640 Speaker 1: not staying in one place for long periods of time. 119 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:25,880 Speaker 1: Went home. She puts it in the garage, makes planning 120 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:28,400 Speaker 1: a grab difficult. Plus, she will still have my other 121 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,080 Speaker 1: key and knows where I live. I wouldn't put it 122 00:05:31,120 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: past her to try and come take my car back. 123 00:05:33,120 --> 00:05:35,680 Speaker 1: So much hate, but at least if she does that, 124 00:05:35,839 --> 00:05:37,760 Speaker 1: I can immediately report it stole. 125 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:40,440 Speaker 3: That's not so much hape. That is definitely so much hate. 126 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:42,880 Speaker 1: Definitely so much hate. I hate my mom. 127 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 3: I think that, Uh, I don't know. This is how's 128 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:46,720 Speaker 3: your own mom doing this too? 129 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:49,440 Speaker 1: How's your own mom gonna do that to you? 130 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 3: Ma? 131 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:50,680 Speaker 1: Ma? 132 00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,560 Speaker 3: Like when you have to rob your own mind? 133 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:55,120 Speaker 1: Why did you take my car? 134 00:05:55,640 --> 00:05:57,760 Speaker 3: Take your own possessions back? 135 00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:58,520 Speaker 1: Wild? 136 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 3: Truly? Where are we at? 137 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:03,880 Speaker 1: Does he have access to some sort of public transports? 138 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:06,440 Speaker 1: Obviously this is like a temple. 139 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 3: Places don't. Most places don't. 140 00:06:09,279 --> 00:06:11,080 Speaker 1: What's Katie's bus system? Like? 141 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,960 Speaker 3: I doubt, dude, it's a terrible option. But I don't 142 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,240 Speaker 3: think his mom's terms. 143 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:19,400 Speaker 1: Oh it's in Texas. 144 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:21,880 Speaker 3: No no, no, no, not his mom's house to get 145 00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:24,760 Speaker 3: to his just to get to forty miles away from 146 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 3: where he works. Yes, oh my god, he should move. Yeah, right, 147 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 3: it absolutely sucks. 148 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,000 Speaker 2: But if he's like I can't afford to not work 149 00:06:33,040 --> 00:06:36,839 Speaker 2: for ten days, it's better option than not being able 150 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:37,400 Speaker 2: to make it. 151 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:39,800 Speaker 3: And if you got people that are trying to work 152 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 3: for you. 153 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:43,160 Speaker 1: In Katie, there is a bunch of bus stops. 154 00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:44,160 Speaker 3: What is Katie. 155 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: It's a town in Houston, in near in Texas, and 156 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 1: Katie is just outside of Houston. It's like it's kind 157 00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:56,360 Speaker 1: it looks like it's kind of a like, uh, suburbs 158 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:57,200 Speaker 1: of hut right. 159 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 2: I think I think there's probably some even if it 160 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:02,920 Speaker 2: involves a lot of walking. Probably better to be able 161 00:07:02,960 --> 00:07:05,720 Speaker 2: to like work those ten days to earn again than 162 00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:09,600 Speaker 2: to be yeah, landlocked and put and put in the report. Yeah, 163 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:11,760 Speaker 2: start it now, so you have the ten days. Yeah, 164 00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,400 Speaker 2: take public transport, then take obviously. 165 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,720 Speaker 1: Still get your car back, but yeah, Socrates is Katie 166 00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:20,240 Speaker 1: is part of the Houston metropolis area. Thus making public 167 00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 1: transport is no. 168 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:25,880 Speaker 2: I mean, it might be terrible, but does something exist 169 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:28,400 Speaker 2: to where it takes like an hour or less of 170 00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,120 Speaker 2: walking that he shouldn't have to. 171 00:07:30,120 --> 00:07:31,720 Speaker 1: Be taking buses and stuff. He has a car, which 172 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:35,240 Speaker 1: his mom's sole agreed, agreed, agreed, But it's not like 173 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,320 Speaker 1: don't you know, yeah, don't get your car back. It's 174 00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:40,880 Speaker 1: right now, he's saying he has no way of getting 175 00:07:40,880 --> 00:07:44,320 Speaker 1: to his place of work other than you know, buying. 176 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:45,880 Speaker 3: His own his own company. 177 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 1: Might understand like maybe in the time being. 178 00:07:48,280 --> 00:07:52,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, public transposition doesn't exist in my head, that is wrong. 179 00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:53,280 Speaker 1: Head's wrong. 180 00:07:53,960 --> 00:07:56,800 Speaker 3: He lives has wrong. Most places don't have it. That's 181 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:58,240 Speaker 3: not true. 182 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:01,640 Speaker 1: That's like not true. Bus systems. 183 00:08:01,720 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 4: Okay, yeah, there's a bus system in my hometown, but 184 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 4: it only goes in the city park and not many 185 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 4: people live in that little town part. 186 00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 1: He's saying that he lives in Katie, which is like 187 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:11,800 Speaker 1: suburbs of Houston. 188 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:13,600 Speaker 3: I don't know, and backed me up on that. I'm 189 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,160 Speaker 3: just but they just said no. 190 00:08:15,240 --> 00:08:19,680 Speaker 4: Trump Trump public transportation, as I know, could it? 191 00:08:19,880 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 3: Could it get you to a point where you don't 192 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,760 Speaker 3: have to walk like hours to get there. 193 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:25,520 Speaker 1: I'm not saying that it's gonna get him right there, 194 00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:26,680 Speaker 1: but maybe just like. 195 00:08:27,040 --> 00:08:29,160 Speaker 2: Anyways, Yes, if you live in the middle of anyway, 196 00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,000 Speaker 2: we digress day part update. 197 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:36,440 Speaker 1: I followed your guys advice and sent the demand letter 198 00:08:36,480 --> 00:08:40,040 Speaker 1: and waited. The ten days ended yesterday, but she still 199 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:43,800 Speaker 1: wouldn't return my car, so I went downtown to the 200 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:48,240 Speaker 1: HCPD HQ to report the vehicle as stolen. The Houston 201 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,720 Speaker 1: City Police Department was able to get her on the 202 00:08:51,720 --> 00:08:54,080 Speaker 1: phone with the sergeant, who told her that once I 203 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 1: decided to pre charges, it becomes felony possession of a 204 00:08:57,120 --> 00:09:00,439 Speaker 1: stolen vehicle, unauthorized use of a vehicle, and if she's 205 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:03,559 Speaker 1: caught driving it or caught with it at her house, 206 00:09:03,720 --> 00:09:06,480 Speaker 1: she will be arrested and charged and I would not 207 00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:09,439 Speaker 1: have a say in the matter. 208 00:09:09,600 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 2: Dude, when you have to arrest your own mom, it's 209 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:14,840 Speaker 2: not good. Good things are not going. 210 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:19,360 Speaker 1: Relationship is not going well. Yeah, once I signed that line, 211 00:09:19,920 --> 00:09:23,840 Speaker 1: whatever happens next happens. Long story short, that lit a 212 00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,000 Speaker 1: fire under her butt and she left the car with 213 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:28,840 Speaker 1: my spare key and the glove box across the street. 214 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:33,720 Speaker 3: Thank god. Who Honestly, Yeah, it's like, hey, if I 215 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:35,080 Speaker 3: sign this, then they're gonna go. 216 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 2: They'll do a restaurant. I have no control at that point, 217 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:39,200 Speaker 2: So and she did it. 218 00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:44,559 Speaker 1: Blindbie says, accept school buses, So just pretend that you're 219 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 1: a child. 220 00:09:45,360 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 3: Honestly, I could. I could pretend to be a child. 221 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,880 Speaker 2: I still get ided everywhere I go. Really, yes, I've 222 00:09:50,920 --> 00:09:53,160 Speaker 2: literally been id like the past five. 223 00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 1: Times I get Oh, Georgia Cooper says, where me and 224 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:00,040 Speaker 1: Riley come from. You're lucky to have public transfer in 225 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:04,080 Speaker 1: major city. The Greyhound bus doesn't even stop in Louisville anymore, which. 226 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:08,040 Speaker 2: I'm not is possible that it's like still four hours 227 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:08,600 Speaker 2: of walking. 228 00:10:08,679 --> 00:10:11,000 Speaker 3: We're just saying, like I'm just saying, like, is there 229 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:12,360 Speaker 3: any anyway? 230 00:10:12,720 --> 00:10:16,680 Speaker 2: Going on Google Maps and typing point A, point B 231 00:10:16,880 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 2: and hit go and see what two of the. 232 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:21,679 Speaker 1: Bus systems on my phone is said. There was a 233 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:22,640 Speaker 1: bus in Katie. 234 00:10:22,679 --> 00:10:23,840 Speaker 3: That's what they want you to think. 235 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 1: Okay, she's officially had my car since the twenty third 236 00:10:27,920 --> 00:10:30,120 Speaker 1: of last month, but it's back in my possession now. 237 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:33,480 Speaker 1: She's put well over two thousand miles on it. What 238 00:10:33,520 --> 00:10:35,079 Speaker 1: was this girl doing. 239 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:39,280 Speaker 3: Two thousand miles in like like two weeks? Jeez, oh 240 00:10:39,360 --> 00:10:39,760 Speaker 3: my god. 241 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:41,880 Speaker 1: And the maintenance light is well, actually it might be 242 00:10:41,920 --> 00:10:44,960 Speaker 1: a month, about almost a month, but still and the 243 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 1: maintenance light is on. But for now, I'm glad to 244 00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:50,600 Speaker 1: be done with this. But I want to thank all 245 00:10:50,600 --> 00:10:52,520 Speaker 1: of you who either gave me good advice or gave 246 00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:55,920 Speaker 1: me the metaphorical slap I needed. As for my shop 247 00:10:55,960 --> 00:10:58,200 Speaker 1: and getting there, one of my mechanics lent me as 248 00:10:58,200 --> 00:11:00,200 Speaker 1: old beaters so I could get to and from. So 249 00:11:00,240 --> 00:11:02,400 Speaker 1: the shop is up and running and we're already up 250 00:11:02,400 --> 00:11:03,360 Speaker 1: to our necks and jobs. 251 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:03,839 Speaker 3: The work. 252 00:11:03,880 --> 00:11:10,360 Speaker 1: It fat what I missed it okay? Oh got seven 253 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:13,959 Speaker 1: satisfied customers and five others want waiting on parts. Glad 254 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,719 Speaker 1: to say that everything worked out once I took a 255 00:11:15,760 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 1: step back and analyzed everything. And one commoner says, you 256 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,640 Speaker 1: might want to check it getting it re key. She 257 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:24,200 Speaker 1: might have made a copy of the key. Commoner two says, 258 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,800 Speaker 1: I think after hearing felony charges, Mom's not gonna want 259 00:11:26,800 --> 00:11:29,560 Speaker 1: to risk getting arrested for actually stealing it in the future, 260 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: and Opie says, and it's not just felony charges. The 261 00:11:33,559 --> 00:11:36,680 Speaker 1: sergeant said that a felony arrest slush stop means guns 262 00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: will be drawn and train on what and train on 263 00:11:42,960 --> 00:11:43,880 Speaker 1: the individual. 264 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:50,800 Speaker 2: Please please as fair. Ah, My dad is dating someone 265 00:11:50,840 --> 00:11:54,840 Speaker 2: younger than me. I've told him I'll never accept their relationship. 266 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 2: Is this ninety day fiance we're about to find out. 267 00:11:57,559 --> 00:12:01,280 Speaker 2: For the past eleven years, my twenty eight female dad 268 00:12:01,400 --> 00:12:05,600 Speaker 2: fifty four male has dated multiple women, only one being 269 00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:09,560 Speaker 2: conventionally age appropriate and the rest being about half his eight. 270 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:13,199 Speaker 2: Each time he dates very young women. They're always from 271 00:12:13,280 --> 00:12:17,360 Speaker 2: out of the country, specifically all the same country. But 272 00:12:17,440 --> 00:12:20,000 Speaker 2: I don't want to disclose because I have nothing against 273 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,680 Speaker 2: the people from this country. 274 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:22,560 Speaker 3: And guys. 275 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,400 Speaker 2: This comes from Ill Damaged forty nine one from our 276 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,000 Speaker 2: slash Okay story time subredd It. 277 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,880 Speaker 1: Let's go perhaps a little bit of a Passport. 278 00:12:29,520 --> 00:12:35,360 Speaker 2: Brother very much giving Passport bro by a little about him. 279 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:39,439 Speaker 2: He was diagnosed with bipolar disorder around four years ago. However, 280 00:12:39,600 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 2: he will not has never accepted the diagnosis and therefore 281 00:12:43,360 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 2: will not explore treatment. It's a tricky situation because he 282 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:52,240 Speaker 2: is very smart when it comes to booksmarts, work, taxes, money, science, topics, 283 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:56,000 Speaker 2: et cetera, et cetera, and binds science. And because of 284 00:12:56,040 --> 00:12:58,720 Speaker 2: this he cannot see if he's ever in the wrong. 285 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:02,760 Speaker 2: So he's hard reason with an expressed emotions too because 286 00:13:02,800 --> 00:13:06,320 Speaker 2: to him, however, he perceives the world is reality for 287 00:13:06,559 --> 00:13:09,880 Speaker 2: everyone else too, so he's like, oh, we're experience the 288 00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:10,400 Speaker 2: same thing. 289 00:13:10,400 --> 00:13:11,240 Speaker 3: This is the way it is. 290 00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,839 Speaker 2: Yeah, if he thinks something should be a certain way 291 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:17,240 Speaker 2: in the world, then gosh, dinally darn it, that's the 292 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:20,800 Speaker 2: way it is. Must be nice to be a white, 293 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:21,600 Speaker 2: middle aged male. 294 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,360 Speaker 3: Boom got him. 295 00:13:23,640 --> 00:13:26,560 Speaker 2: So the point is he went on a two month 296 00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:30,160 Speaker 2: European trip this summer with a new girl and turns 297 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:32,200 Speaker 2: out she is twenty two. 298 00:13:32,320 --> 00:13:34,600 Speaker 1: Oh my god, six years younger than his. 299 00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:37,840 Speaker 3: Daughter join reichs raggy. 300 00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:41,560 Speaker 2: He paid entirely for this trip, bought her countless gifts, 301 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 2: and at the end, I guess, bought her a ring. 302 00:13:45,760 --> 00:13:49,400 Speaker 1: What dude, two. 303 00:13:49,320 --> 00:13:51,800 Speaker 3: Month trip, she's trying to make it to America. 304 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:57,000 Speaker 1: Dude, would love to marry you. 305 00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:01,920 Speaker 2: You now immediately Indian so I can come back and 306 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:06,080 Speaker 2: there's no chance I won't get there. He showed it 307 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:08,920 Speaker 2: to me in a picture and claimed at first that 308 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:10,439 Speaker 2: it's a nothing. 309 00:14:10,559 --> 00:14:13,000 Speaker 1: Nothing ring was on our left hand. 310 00:14:14,240 --> 00:14:15,520 Speaker 3: No, it's like nothing rings. 311 00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:18,120 Speaker 1: That doesn't matter. Yeah, we're getting married, but it's like nothing, 312 00:14:18,200 --> 00:14:19,120 Speaker 1: that's a big deal. 313 00:14:19,760 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 3: But then goes on about how they want to get married. Actually, 314 00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:24,880 Speaker 3: melty face emoji. 315 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,040 Speaker 2: So he comes back from this trip, starts dropping hints 316 00:14:28,080 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 2: to my sister twenty five female and I that he's 317 00:14:31,320 --> 00:14:35,600 Speaker 2: serious about this girl. He really can only talk about himself, 318 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 2: never wants to know what's going on in our lives. 319 00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:40,440 Speaker 2: But it gets very offended if we don't want to 320 00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:43,120 Speaker 2: know what's going on in his life. So he's casually 321 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 2: bringing up this girl that he loves her, and on 322 00:14:45,320 --> 00:14:48,400 Speaker 2: and on in little spurts and random conversations with my sister, 323 00:14:48,880 --> 00:14:52,200 Speaker 2: but she's really just kind of ignoring his antics. Anyways, 324 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:54,800 Speaker 2: he comes over to my house the next week because 325 00:14:54,840 --> 00:14:57,320 Speaker 2: I hadn't seen him yet, and I'm sure he wanted 326 00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:58,200 Speaker 2: to keep testing the. 327 00:14:58,160 --> 00:14:59,160 Speaker 3: Waters about this girl. 328 00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:02,160 Speaker 2: We got to to a four hour conversation about why 329 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,680 Speaker 2: I'll never be okay with this arrangement. Here is his 330 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:08,040 Speaker 2: argument for why it's okay for him to date a 331 00:15:08,080 --> 00:15:10,840 Speaker 2: twenty two year old girl I love. 332 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:15,040 Speaker 4: Oh a four hour argument and that's that's not he 333 00:15:15,120 --> 00:15:16,760 Speaker 4: about to say love's non number. 334 00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:17,200 Speaker 3: Oh. 335 00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:21,320 Speaker 1: Remember, his argument is love is love. 336 00:15:21,880 --> 00:15:23,160 Speaker 3: Wait, look at the next sentence. 337 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:24,960 Speaker 1: I know I saw it already. 338 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,800 Speaker 2: Here we go, I haven't seen it yet that people 339 00:15:27,800 --> 00:15:30,320 Speaker 2: in France don't even blink twice when a gay couple 340 00:15:30,400 --> 00:15:32,000 Speaker 2: is together, So no one. 341 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:34,440 Speaker 3: Should care if him and his girl have such a 342 00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:35,800 Speaker 3: huge age cab in. 343 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:39,880 Speaker 1: France and two almost also, what. 344 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:42,720 Speaker 3: Those dudes are kissing over there. They shouldn't be bothered 345 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:46,200 Speaker 3: by the things that the other. 346 00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:50,120 Speaker 1: Thank god, Wow, what an insane comparison. 347 00:15:50,760 --> 00:15:52,920 Speaker 2: I'm sorry, but this is such a messed up comparison 348 00:15:52,920 --> 00:15:53,480 Speaker 2: in my opinion. 349 00:15:53,960 --> 00:15:54,520 Speaker 1: Yeah. 350 00:15:54,600 --> 00:15:56,920 Speaker 2: I told him that is such a wrong thing to say, 351 00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 2: and that if I saw a sixty year old man 352 00:15:59,160 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 2: with a twenty years old man, I would still most 353 00:16:01,800 --> 00:16:05,040 Speaker 2: definitely be concerned because it's not about same sex couples. 354 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:06,640 Speaker 3: It's about the power imbalance. 355 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 1: I just want to know if they're in France. Why 356 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,000 Speaker 1: did he bring up France? 357 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 2: It was in euro it was euro summer, okay, yeah, yeah, 358 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:18,280 Speaker 2: plus the French, I don't know. Like, ah, if I 359 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:21,920 Speaker 2: bring up the friends, they're so easy to rag. He's 360 00:16:21,960 --> 00:16:25,240 Speaker 2: not attracted to age appropriate women. He loves her like 361 00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:27,680 Speaker 2: a daughter, he. 362 00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:30,640 Speaker 1: Said, the quiet part out loud. 363 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:33,200 Speaker 3: The quiet part, what do you oh? 364 00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 1: He's like, no, no, no, you don't understand. Love is love. 365 00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:39,200 Speaker 1: I love her like one of my daughters, and I 366 00:16:39,280 --> 00:16:43,160 Speaker 1: sleep with her like one of my daughters. You disgust me. 367 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,440 Speaker 3: Disgusting disgust. 368 00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:50,400 Speaker 2: I mean, imagine saying that to your actual daughter. He 369 00:16:50,480 --> 00:16:54,000 Speaker 2: sleeps with this other woman and sees her like a daughter. 370 00:16:55,320 --> 00:16:57,560 Speaker 2: This one truly made my stomach turn, and I told 371 00:16:57,640 --> 00:17:00,640 Speaker 2: him he needs psychiatric help. And then the final reason 372 00:17:00,680 --> 00:17:03,000 Speaker 2: I believe I should be happy for him. 373 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:07,520 Speaker 3: Because happy, I'm not happy. Oh no, There's so much more. 374 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:09,399 Speaker 2: But at the end of the day, he wants to 375 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:12,080 Speaker 2: marry this woman, bring her to America, and integrate her 376 00:17:12,119 --> 00:17:12,960 Speaker 2: into the family. 377 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:15,639 Speaker 3: Wants her to be like a sister in law to me, 378 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:18,800 Speaker 3: she's her step mom. 379 00:17:19,400 --> 00:17:21,679 Speaker 1: I want her to be like a sister to you. 380 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:29,280 Speaker 2: Oh god, Oh no, I have a three year old, 381 00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:32,360 Speaker 2: and he wants her to be like an aunt and. 382 00:17:32,359 --> 00:17:34,280 Speaker 3: For all of us to get along like a big, 383 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,240 Speaker 3: happy fan. He plans to have children with this woman 384 00:17:37,400 --> 00:17:40,360 Speaker 3: in five years, and those kids will be like cousins 385 00:17:40,400 --> 00:17:41,120 Speaker 3: to my children. 386 00:17:41,480 --> 00:17:43,720 Speaker 1: So he's saying, I want her to be. 387 00:17:44,040 --> 00:17:45,840 Speaker 3: What like they will have. 388 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,720 Speaker 1: He literally is saying he wants them to be like sisters. 389 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,200 Speaker 1: He's literally saying that. 390 00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:53,280 Speaker 2: Yes, he's signing the quiet part out loud. Anyways, I 391 00:17:53,320 --> 00:17:56,560 Speaker 2: told him that he's delusional and that will never happen. 392 00:17:56,680 --> 00:17:59,760 Speaker 2: Readjust your expectations when it comes to my relationship with 393 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,879 Speaker 2: her and him. He can totally do with whatever he 394 00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,080 Speaker 2: wants to be happy in life, but he won't be 395 00:18:05,160 --> 00:18:08,359 Speaker 2: around my kids as much with that life path. At 396 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,200 Speaker 2: the end of the conversation, we pretty much got nowhere 397 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:16,040 Speaker 2: other than he realized I'm just I'm not just happy 398 00:18:16,040 --> 00:18:18,200 Speaker 2: for him and his girlfriend, and that I don't want 399 00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:20,960 Speaker 2: to meet her or support their marriage and plans for kids. 400 00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,480 Speaker 2: I honestly think it's irresponsible of him to have a 401 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,159 Speaker 2: newborn at age sixty. 402 00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:27,400 Speaker 3: But maybe that's just an unpopular opinion. 403 00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:28,320 Speaker 1: Yeah. 404 00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,920 Speaker 2: But after that conversation, I stopped responding to his text 405 00:18:32,280 --> 00:18:35,240 Speaker 2: ignoring phone calls, and taking some space that I needed, 406 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,639 Speaker 2: which I did express in our long conversation. But he 407 00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 2: started texting me multiple times a day, mostly random stuff 408 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:44,919 Speaker 2: or even just to say good morning, which he only 409 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,520 Speaker 2: does when he wants to force me. 410 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:49,119 Speaker 3: To talk to him. So, after two weeks. 411 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,760 Speaker 2: Of just me trying to have some space from it all, 412 00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,119 Speaker 2: he shows up at my house with flowers. 413 00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:58,800 Speaker 3: And gifts and starts playing with my kid. I love 414 00:18:58,800 --> 00:18:59,880 Speaker 3: her like a granddaughter. 415 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:03,920 Speaker 2: I put up with it for fifteen minutes to be nice, 416 00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:06,399 Speaker 2: and then I let him know that he's going to 417 00:19:06,480 --> 00:19:09,880 Speaker 2: leave since I wasn't expecting him and need to put 418 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:13,439 Speaker 2: my kid to sleep, which he says, well, I just 419 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,800 Speaker 2: wanted you to know that I won't be reaching out 420 00:19:15,880 --> 00:19:18,240 Speaker 2: to you or texting you anymore because I have to 421 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:21,800 Speaker 2: keep my peace, protect my feelings. When you ignore me, 422 00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:25,240 Speaker 2: it hurts so much. It hurts so much, and I'm 423 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:27,520 Speaker 2: just not going to talk to you anymore. 424 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,040 Speaker 1: Good leave. 425 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:34,080 Speaker 2: I did not react well, and I don't remember everything 426 00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:37,920 Speaker 2: that's been said, but I know he called me toxic. 427 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:41,439 Speaker 3: Selfish, boiled thanks one or no one, dude. 428 00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,879 Speaker 2: And I marched inside to grab the flowers and came 429 00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,520 Speaker 2: back and threw them back at him on my porch, 430 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:51,119 Speaker 2: so he knew that I wasn't okay with him bombarding 431 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:51,560 Speaker 2: me like. 432 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 3: This for stupid flowers. 433 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:56,359 Speaker 2: It wasn't my finest moment, and I even apologized a 434 00:19:56,359 --> 00:19:59,600 Speaker 2: few days later, but I kind of still feel justified 435 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 2: because not only will he never respect my boundaries, but 436 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:06,600 Speaker 2: he turns it back on me all the time. Anyways, 437 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:09,680 Speaker 2: Am I the a hole for throwing the flowers at him? 438 00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:13,040 Speaker 2: My brothers think I am, but my sister thinks I 439 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:17,119 Speaker 2: am justified. I have a very specific take on this. 440 00:20:17,359 --> 00:20:18,400 Speaker 1: Yes, give it. 441 00:20:18,760 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 3: If he was let's. 442 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,480 Speaker 2: Say, you know, he he walked out the door and 443 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:23,480 Speaker 2: he was like, you know, almost at his car, and 444 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:25,160 Speaker 2: she just like threw it, you know. 445 00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 3: On the on the lawn. 446 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:30,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, not anywhere near him or like hurting him or 447 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,840 Speaker 2: trying where he could be in like any physical danger 448 00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:37,040 Speaker 2: of them like hitting him, I think not the A hole. Yeah, 449 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:39,480 Speaker 2: if they were thrown a hif it was like you know, 450 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:40,280 Speaker 2: I had a vase. 451 00:20:40,320 --> 00:20:42,200 Speaker 3: If she did throw it, did hit him or something. 452 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:44,679 Speaker 1: Had a vase, that would be a different story. 453 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:45,679 Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know. 454 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:48,320 Speaker 2: So then in that scenario, I would say the a hole. 455 00:20:48,600 --> 00:20:52,040 Speaker 2: It seem hope he didn't specify, but it seems like 456 00:20:52,119 --> 00:20:54,440 Speaker 2: it was more of the like thrown in the lawn situation. 457 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,560 Speaker 1: Should I that's what I was seeing. Let me scroll 458 00:20:57,560 --> 00:20:59,479 Speaker 1: back maybe like towards him, but I don't know if 459 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:00,920 Speaker 1: it hit him. 460 00:21:01,119 --> 00:21:04,359 Speaker 2: Yeah, And let me know what you guys see or 461 00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:07,800 Speaker 2: feel here. So going back to that sentence, I marched 462 00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:11,400 Speaker 2: inside to grab the flowers and came back out and 463 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:16,000 Speaker 2: threw them back at him on my porch so that 464 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,480 Speaker 2: he knew I was wasn't okay with him bombarding me 465 00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:20,320 Speaker 2: like this for stupid flowers. 466 00:21:20,359 --> 00:21:22,400 Speaker 1: It sounds like it didn't hit him. If it didn't 467 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:23,840 Speaker 1: hit him, then I don't think it's a problem. 468 00:21:23,960 --> 00:21:26,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, And I would imagine she would say that. 469 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,240 Speaker 1: Like, yeah, like it hit him and he said wow 470 00:21:29,520 --> 00:21:30,640 Speaker 1: he cried out. 471 00:21:30,800 --> 00:21:31,040 Speaker 3: Yeah. 472 00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,119 Speaker 2: But honestly, I kinda you know, we've had these like 473 00:21:34,160 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 2: scenarios on the show where it's like it was kind 474 00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:37,840 Speaker 2: of necessary to make. 475 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,280 Speaker 3: The person, yeah, make a point, and I think. 476 00:21:40,080 --> 00:21:44,040 Speaker 2: Like just like tossing them out is a symbolic way 477 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:47,600 Speaker 2: of being like, this is this is not going to fly, 478 00:21:48,359 --> 00:21:49,119 Speaker 2: This is not going. 479 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:51,320 Speaker 1: To agreed, Agreed, Agreed. 480 00:21:52,560 --> 00:21:54,720 Speaker 3: Biggs Mixa has justified a hole. 481 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, which I can see. But I honestly, I think 482 00:21:56,880 --> 00:21:58,960 Speaker 1: if if if it didn't hit him. 483 00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,680 Speaker 2: I think, yeah, I think this just it wasn't an 484 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 2: angel move. But in my opinion, I think low key 485 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:08,159 Speaker 2: necessary for him to like, yeah, really see And she 486 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:12,840 Speaker 2: didn't say like, she didn't call him any like unforgivable, 487 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:14,160 Speaker 2: unwalk backable thing. 488 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,080 Speaker 3: She didn't like curse him out like. 489 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:18,160 Speaker 1: I there are some flowers. 490 00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:22,520 Speaker 2: There are some flowers outside so I think it communicates 491 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:27,160 Speaker 2: the message without being any more vindictive or like mean 492 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:29,240 Speaker 2: spirited than it needs to be. 493 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:32,800 Speaker 4: Agreed, And it says he just gets hurt whenever they 494 00:22:32,800 --> 00:22:33,639 Speaker 4: don't ask him about it. 495 00:22:33,680 --> 00:22:36,600 Speaker 1: Today, no one cares about your day, Grandpa. 496 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:42,280 Speaker 2: Go with your daughter, wife and get out of You've 497 00:22:42,320 --> 00:22:43,320 Speaker 2: heard of uncle Dad. 498 00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:46,000 Speaker 3: But shot all that's a. 499 00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,720 Speaker 1: New one worth this. 500 00:22:49,119 --> 00:22:52,000 Speaker 2: Ladies and gentlemen. I've got something else new for you. 501 00:22:52,040 --> 00:22:56,640 Speaker 2: Who that is this next study? 502 00:22:58,400 --> 00:23:00,880 Speaker 1: I didn't include my sister in my my wedding. Now 503 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:04,840 Speaker 1: my dad's boycotting. Apologies for the long post, but this 504 00:23:04,880 --> 00:23:06,800 Speaker 1: blew up last night and I need to get it 505 00:23:06,840 --> 00:23:10,040 Speaker 1: off my chest. Should probably talk to a therapist, but 506 00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:14,480 Speaker 1: Reddit is cheaper jee. By the way, this comes from 507 00:23:14,520 --> 00:23:17,040 Speaker 1: first name bunch of numbus on the r slash. Okay, 508 00:23:17,040 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 1: storytime separate it. So background, My father and I never 509 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:24,760 Speaker 1: had a good relationship. He divorced my mother when I 510 00:23:24,840 --> 00:23:27,680 Speaker 1: was one, got remarried when I was six, and had 511 00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:30,640 Speaker 1: my sister with my stepmother when I was seven. As 512 00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:32,800 Speaker 1: a result, I went through the usual stuff a first 513 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,680 Speaker 1: kid goes through with a stepmom and a new kid 514 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,440 Speaker 1: being second fiddle, etc. My dad is the kind of 515 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,520 Speaker 1: person that could talk sports with me for hours, but 516 00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:45,920 Speaker 1: if anything meaningful comes up, or anything not sports related, 517 00:23:46,359 --> 00:23:49,040 Speaker 1: it is like talking to a wall. So he was 518 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:52,000 Speaker 1: never someone I could lean on. Having said that, I 519 00:23:52,080 --> 00:23:55,240 Speaker 1: still loved him and respected him as my father. We 520 00:23:55,320 --> 00:23:57,840 Speaker 1: had her ups and downs throughout the years. But flash 521 00:23:57,920 --> 00:24:02,240 Speaker 1: forward to twenty twenty one are some uncomfortable Father's Days 522 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,480 Speaker 1: where I tried to make an effort to see him 523 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:08,040 Speaker 1: and got rebuffed. I decided to spend Father's Day with 524 00:24:08,119 --> 00:24:11,920 Speaker 1: my grandpa, my mother's father, since he's getting up there 525 00:24:11,960 --> 00:24:14,600 Speaker 1: and I know he would enjoy my company more. That 526 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:21,280 Speaker 1: led to my father and I not speaking for two years. Wow, 527 00:24:22,680 --> 00:24:25,480 Speaker 1: Oh my god. Wait. So so Op in the past 528 00:24:25,600 --> 00:24:28,239 Speaker 1: had tried multiple times to try and spend time with 529 00:24:28,320 --> 00:24:31,240 Speaker 1: her dad on Father's Day, had been rebuffed. Yeah, and 530 00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,560 Speaker 1: so she's like, you know what, I'm just gonna go 531 00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:33,640 Speaker 1: spend time with my grandpa. 532 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:37,640 Speaker 3: Yeah. Now that because he was like like rushing it off. Whatever. Yeah, 533 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:43,040 Speaker 3: now that Op's rushing it off, He's like, what do 534 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,160 Speaker 3: you how do you steal that car? 535 00:24:47,520 --> 00:24:49,760 Speaker 1: And as he hung up on me on Father's Day 536 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:51,160 Speaker 1: and I said I would wait for him to call 537 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 1: me back all never came. This also led me to 538 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:57,119 Speaker 1: not speaking to my stepmom and sister for two years 539 00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:00,280 Speaker 1: as well. I wound up getting engaged in Made twenty 540 00:25:00,280 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 1: twenty three, and at the behest of my uncles. I 541 00:25:03,160 --> 00:25:05,960 Speaker 1: used the engagement to reconnect with my dad to see 542 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,679 Speaker 1: if we could put the past behind us. The meeting 543 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:13,240 Speaker 1: went not great. He basically blamed everything on me, my 544 00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,880 Speaker 1: mother and grandmother. I decided to hold my tongue, take 545 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,159 Speaker 1: it and move on. As my one uncle said, be 546 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:23,159 Speaker 1: the bigger man, extend the olive branch and try to 547 00:25:23,200 --> 00:25:28,920 Speaker 1: repair your relationship slowly. Then came a wedding planning. Uh oh, 548 00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:32,640 Speaker 1: wedding planning. As I mentioned, I got engaged in May 549 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,560 Speaker 1: my dad's family after this reconcilation, met my fiance for 550 00:25:36,600 --> 00:25:39,600 Speaker 1: the first time in November twenty twenty three, and saw 551 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,439 Speaker 1: her again June twenty twenty four. Father's Day. 552 00:25:42,520 --> 00:25:43,680 Speaker 3: Yeah, I can't miss those anymore. 553 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:46,920 Speaker 1: Apparently they haven't missed one. Since we were still repairing 554 00:25:46,920 --> 00:25:50,960 Speaker 1: the relationship. I didn't really include them in my wedding plans. Yes, 555 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:52,960 Speaker 1: I was going to take photos with them and all that, 556 00:25:53,119 --> 00:25:55,400 Speaker 1: but never really considered putting any of them as part 557 00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,800 Speaker 1: of the wedding since I still wasn't close with them 558 00:25:57,880 --> 00:26:00,439 Speaker 1: and was mending the relationship, which makes sense because they 559 00:26:00,440 --> 00:26:01,679 Speaker 1: didn't talk for two years. 560 00:26:01,920 --> 00:26:04,800 Speaker 3: Yeah. Literally, you weren't. You weren't there during the planning There. 561 00:26:05,119 --> 00:26:08,159 Speaker 1: My dad's family never asked how wedding planning was going, 562 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:10,760 Speaker 1: nor did they ask how they could help or be involved, 563 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:13,199 Speaker 1: so I assumed all was good. They knew they were 564 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,359 Speaker 1: getting familiar with me and my fiance, and I was 565 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,800 Speaker 1: still calling them weekly to see how things were going, 566 00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:21,199 Speaker 1: catch up and try to work on the relationship. We 567 00:26:21,280 --> 00:26:23,280 Speaker 1: had our first bump in the road with this a 568 00:26:23,320 --> 00:26:26,879 Speaker 1: couple months back. My fiance and I are getting married 569 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,359 Speaker 1: in the church the week before our wedding with only 570 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:33,000 Speaker 1: immediate family. This was to still fulfill a sacrament that 571 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:35,879 Speaker 1: is important to us, but not inundate everyone at our wedding. 572 00:26:35,920 --> 00:26:39,080 Speaker 1: With transportation and all that, I didn't invite my father 573 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:43,720 Speaker 1: to this event, only mom and grandparents. He found out 574 00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:48,000 Speaker 1: my mother was going and freaked out, saying it was disrespectful. 575 00:26:48,040 --> 00:26:49,879 Speaker 1: I didn't let him know as he is my father, 576 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:53,320 Speaker 1: which I get and probably screwed up not mentioning it 577 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,560 Speaker 1: tim but I felt justified in my decision when he said, 578 00:26:56,800 --> 00:26:58,760 Speaker 1: we aren't going to go. It's too far of a drive, 579 00:26:58,840 --> 00:27:02,280 Speaker 1: four hours, but you should ask. So Basically, he wanted 580 00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,359 Speaker 1: me to give him the respect of asking my father 581 00:27:04,480 --> 00:27:06,920 Speaker 1: to be at this intimate ceremony, but he wasn't going 582 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,440 Speaker 1: to make the effort to go. Yep, it was an 583 00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:11,879 Speaker 1: ego boost for him. I admitted fall to him and 584 00:27:11,920 --> 00:27:14,000 Speaker 1: we wound up moving on. Just just to put it 585 00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:16,840 Speaker 1: out there, I have driven four hours just for a 586 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:17,640 Speaker 1: day trip. 587 00:27:17,680 --> 00:27:19,440 Speaker 3: Just throwing it out there, orn out there. 588 00:27:19,600 --> 00:27:23,560 Speaker 1: Labor Day slash yesterday, with all this stuff, I called 589 00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:26,240 Speaker 1: him Monday to ask if him and my stepmom wanted 590 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:28,359 Speaker 1: to walk in the professional the day of our wedding, 591 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,440 Speaker 1: non church. He said yes, made some jokes about wearing 592 00:27:31,480 --> 00:27:34,399 Speaker 1: a football jersey, and it was a very pleasant conversation. 593 00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,320 Speaker 1: My fiance and I kept on wedding planning and got 594 00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:41,120 Speaker 1: ready for work after the long weekend. Yesterday, I got 595 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:43,720 Speaker 1: a call from him while I'm at the office asking 596 00:27:43,760 --> 00:27:47,040 Speaker 1: if my fiance's brother, who I've known for years and 597 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:50,439 Speaker 1: is extremely close with my fiance, is in the wedding. 598 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:53,600 Speaker 1: I said yes, he's a groomsman, and my dad asked 599 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:57,800 Speaker 1: why my sister isn't in the wedding once again. They 600 00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,199 Speaker 1: haven't talked in two years. 601 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 3: Come on, bo I ketch up doing. 602 00:28:03,160 --> 00:28:05,480 Speaker 1: I told him i'd call him later because I'm in 603 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:08,120 Speaker 1: the office, And when I called him when I got home, 604 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:11,879 Speaker 1: I walked into a three on one argument. My stepmother 605 00:28:11,960 --> 00:28:14,440 Speaker 1: called me a liar and that I disrespected her daughter. 606 00:28:14,920 --> 00:28:18,080 Speaker 1: You wonder why you're not invited to things. My sister's 607 00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:20,800 Speaker 1: saying she'd blocked me on all forms of communication and 608 00:28:20,840 --> 00:28:23,720 Speaker 1: that she hates me, and my father saying I'm a liar, 609 00:28:23,880 --> 00:28:25,560 Speaker 1: he doesn't want to see me and as a result, 610 00:28:25,640 --> 00:28:28,439 Speaker 1: is not coming to the wedding. It was twenty minutes 611 00:28:28,480 --> 00:28:31,480 Speaker 1: of getting yelled at by three people with me trying 612 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,480 Speaker 1: to defend myself before I finally snapped and told my 613 00:28:34,560 --> 00:28:37,520 Speaker 1: dad he never loved me and to go f himself, 614 00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:41,800 Speaker 1: then hung up. I was completely shaken by what just happened. 615 00:28:42,280 --> 00:28:45,360 Speaker 1: I had no idea my sister felt this way. I 616 00:28:45,440 --> 00:28:47,960 Speaker 1: didn't exclude her maliciously, It's just that we were in 617 00:28:48,000 --> 00:28:50,680 Speaker 1: a point in a relationship where we weren't close. She 618 00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:53,600 Speaker 1: barely knows my fiance Legit has only spoken to her 619 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,920 Speaker 1: twice since June twenty twenty three, and while I've been 620 00:28:56,920 --> 00:28:59,640 Speaker 1: trying to mend fences with her, it's a one way street, 621 00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,680 Speaker 1: me always reaching out, never the other way around. Also, 622 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 1: if she felt hurt and excluded, which I can understand 623 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:10,040 Speaker 1: from her perspective, a simple phone call to me saying Hey, 624 00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:13,240 Speaker 1: I feel I'm upset not being included in your wedding 625 00:29:13,240 --> 00:29:15,719 Speaker 1: and I would really like to be would have cleared 626 00:29:15,760 --> 00:29:18,440 Speaker 1: everything up. If I heard that, I would have done 627 00:29:18,520 --> 00:29:20,800 Speaker 1: everything I could to get her involved in my big day. 628 00:29:21,440 --> 00:29:23,760 Speaker 1: But instead they make it seem like I should have 629 00:29:23,760 --> 00:29:26,600 Speaker 1: had the foresight to know this and know what everyone 630 00:29:26,680 --> 00:29:31,680 Speaker 1: is thinking. And instead of a mature conversation, I got 631 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:34,720 Speaker 1: screamed at and the relationship is dead. At least from 632 00:29:34,720 --> 00:29:38,680 Speaker 1: my end, I never want to see them again. So Reddit, 633 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:43,080 Speaker 1: am I the a hole here? Anything I should have 634 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:45,840 Speaker 1: done differently? What do you think? John? So? 635 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:50,080 Speaker 2: The am I the ahole for? Like not including anyone 636 00:29:50,120 --> 00:29:50,640 Speaker 2: in the wedding? 637 00:29:50,840 --> 00:29:51,040 Speaker 3: Right? 638 00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:51,640 Speaker 4: Not? 639 00:29:51,880 --> 00:29:57,280 Speaker 1: Well? Basically what happened is op he was saying that 640 00:29:57,280 --> 00:29:59,440 Speaker 1: they didn't They weren't really close to their father, their 641 00:29:59,440 --> 00:30:03,080 Speaker 1: stepsister or the stuff, and so after two years they 642 00:30:03,120 --> 00:30:05,200 Speaker 1: were invited to the wedding. But they weren't going to 643 00:30:05,280 --> 00:30:09,080 Speaker 1: be like a you know, a bridesmaid or you know, 644 00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,880 Speaker 1: go to the ceremony. And so they threw a bit 645 00:30:11,920 --> 00:30:15,120 Speaker 1: about that and Sopia saying should I have just included them? 646 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,959 Speaker 1: Which I think, no, you're inviting them to the wedding. 647 00:30:18,120 --> 00:30:20,520 Speaker 1: They don't. They don't, oh like, you don't owe them 648 00:30:20,520 --> 00:30:22,080 Speaker 1: a place in the wedding. 649 00:30:22,520 --> 00:30:28,080 Speaker 2: I agree, but I will put. 650 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,720 Speaker 3: A bit of a fat asterisk next to it. 651 00:30:28,720 --> 00:30:30,080 Speaker 1: A bit of a fat asterisk. 652 00:30:30,200 --> 00:30:33,160 Speaker 2: Let's say, let's let's imagine a world, Sophia I imagining. 653 00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:40,360 Speaker 2: Let's hypothesize a planet where we where they basically come 654 00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,720 Speaker 2: and they're like, hey, you know, we're so sorry. That 655 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:45,240 Speaker 2: was childish for us to get upset, and they like 656 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:49,880 Speaker 2: really mend and repair the bond in a very strong way. 657 00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:55,360 Speaker 2: Not that Opie's obligated to do it, but I like, 658 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,560 Speaker 2: if I'm in op shoes, I think at that point 659 00:30:57,560 --> 00:31:00,800 Speaker 2: I would be like, okay, like they like, my family 660 00:31:00,920 --> 00:31:03,400 Speaker 2: is back you know, quote unquote orre back in good standing. 661 00:31:04,800 --> 00:31:08,920 Speaker 2: I want to include them. I think it's less less 662 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,080 Speaker 2: of a manner of the like logistics or timing, because 663 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:14,520 Speaker 2: it's like, yeah, they weren't planned initially, but you could 664 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:15,600 Speaker 2: like change. 665 00:31:15,440 --> 00:31:17,920 Speaker 3: Plans later at least I would maybe do that. 666 00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:20,720 Speaker 1: I don't know. It feels like it's not necessarily that 667 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:22,720 Speaker 1: they were it to me meaning it, it feels like 668 00:31:22,760 --> 00:31:25,040 Speaker 1: it wasn't necessarily that they were back in good standing. 669 00:31:25,120 --> 00:31:27,560 Speaker 1: It feels like they were on probation. 670 00:31:27,840 --> 00:31:31,400 Speaker 2: Which is which is the asterisk of like they weren't 671 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:35,200 Speaker 2: in like really really good standing. That's the imaginary world 672 00:31:35,520 --> 00:31:38,600 Speaker 2: where they were better. So I think it's it's more 673 00:31:38,600 --> 00:31:40,480 Speaker 2: of a like op was saying, like, oh, well, it's 674 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,920 Speaker 2: like they weren't there during the timing of planning. 675 00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:44,960 Speaker 3: Which is totally true. They weren't talking and that's their 676 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:46,520 Speaker 3: faults one thousand percent. 677 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,960 Speaker 2: I'm saying that like if if they had like fully 678 00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:51,600 Speaker 2: kind of gone back and like earned. 679 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:54,160 Speaker 1: Over stressed, then should have tried yeah. 680 00:31:54,040 --> 00:31:56,320 Speaker 2: That then it would have been like ah, I mean, like, yeah, 681 00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,840 Speaker 2: it's an inconvenience, but ultimately you still sort of planned 682 00:31:58,880 --> 00:32:01,560 Speaker 2: them in, but the fact that they still had not 683 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:04,680 Speaker 2: proven their trustworthyness, had not put in the work to 684 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:07,280 Speaker 2: mend the relationship and actually like you know, put in 685 00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:09,800 Speaker 2: a little bit of effort. That it's more of like 686 00:32:09,840 --> 00:32:12,720 Speaker 2: the reason like that's the reason it's like logistics are 687 00:32:13,240 --> 00:32:16,040 Speaker 2: almost a total side thing, it's because they're not respecting 688 00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,200 Speaker 2: you and putting an effort into the relationship.