Speaker 1: Welcome to this episode of.
Speaker 2: Emergency in You has always got to get the last clap.
Speaker 1: I know, to get the lap, and I have to
Speaker 1: intro the podcast because if I don't intro the podcast,
Speaker 1: who's gonna me?
Speaker 2: Hello, I'm here.
Speaker 1: No, I just like do it, right, I do it
Speaker 1: with a cadence that like gets the people's ears perked
Speaker 1: up and ready for an hour of absolute bullshit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well we'll start it off very quickly with the bullshit.
Speaker 2: So we all know twenty twelve my calendar. Indang, how
Speaker 2: scary boots that fucking was. Like I was in I
Speaker 2: think like sixth grade. No, I was probably in like
Speaker 2: first grade in twenty twelve. I was really young into that.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because you're sixteen right now. So yeah you were,
Speaker 1: because I was gonna say I was in like sixth
Speaker 1: seventh grade, so you were definitely weird.
Speaker 2: Oh you weren't like boring to hang out with me.
Speaker 1: Well, I was hanging out with your mom because I
Speaker 1: banged her to have you.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, so your mother, you really are.
Speaker 1: My grand mother. I'm mother too, but I.
Speaker 2: Am a firm believer. We all know how scary that was.
Speaker 2: Like I was literally convinced that like a tsunami was
Speaker 2: gonna eat me up in fucking Granberry, Texas, which is
Speaker 2: fucking land locked, like three hundred miles into the fucking land.
Speaker 2: But I was convinced I was gonna die. How do
Speaker 2: we know we didn't die? How do we know everyone
Speaker 2: in the world didn't die in twenty twelve and we
Speaker 2: are just living in the hell right now.
Speaker 1: I'd be so pissed because I would at least hope
Speaker 1: that there would be an immediate change, like there would
Speaker 1: be an immediate flip and like the world is crazy.
Speaker 1: But if we actually did die and then life just
Speaker 1: kind of kept pushing and then got like like global
Speaker 1: warming is just like progressively getting worse, I'm like, that's
Speaker 1: the hell we're living in.
Speaker 2: They tricked us, They literally tricked us with twenty sixteen. Yeah,
Speaker 2: they were like, this is the last good year. We're
Speaker 2: showing you what life could be like, but instead you
Speaker 2: get Donald Trump. Chomp, chomp, please save me.
Speaker 1: Honestly, Like, I'm grateful for Chomp in a lot of ways,
Speaker 1: A lot of ways being how many awesome jokes like
Speaker 1: that there are. Think about like if we could have
Speaker 1: say Donald chomp, like what would be.
Speaker 2: There and filling the air with it, please please please.
Speaker 1: Breaking the glasses. Literally wouldn't open the door, Like what
Speaker 1: did he think was gonna happen?
Speaker 2: Like Trump was literally going to say He's.
Speaker 1: We're gonna go off, and it was gonna be like
Speaker 1: Donald Trump all the walkie talking and be like, let him.
Speaker 2: Go, let him go. He's one of my members.
Speaker 1: Also, I feel like I need to clarify I'm not
Speaker 1: actually grateful for Donald Trump.
Speaker 2: You know, I thought you actually were so thank you for.
Speaker 1: I felt like, I know, like a lot of our
Speaker 1: like beliefs aligned with each other, me and Chomp, So
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I hope nobody actually believes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Well the one thing that Chomp did
Speaker 2: eat with the one thing he did, one good thing
Speaker 2: he said, one good thing his entire life.
Speaker 1: I think I know what you're gonna say, and.
Speaker 2: It was fake news. With fake news. He really did that.
Speaker 1: Just like circles back to our conversation about how like
Speaker 1: conservatives and like all those like right wing people, they
Speaker 1: are really good with the catch words. But they're so
Speaker 1: good with those little catchphrases and words because that's how
Speaker 1: they ended up there in the first place.
Speaker 2: They got captured they got tricked by.
Speaker 1: By leto like the lingo is what brought them in.
Speaker 1: So then they get like, hello, demon Crat is really
Speaker 1: fucking good, Like I stand.
Speaker 2: Hello, are you okay?
Speaker 1: I'm right here, right here?
Speaker 2: What's the other one that you and Ryan really like?
Speaker 1: Please send it to me, Rachel, Jesus was seen, we are, Rachel,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, show me to me. Please send it
Speaker 1: to me, Rachel. He was literally seen in Ohio. Please
Speaker 1: send it to me. Oh no, please, oh my god?
Speaker 1: Which one send it to me? Baby? Which one is
Speaker 1: it on? TikTok? Well me, I'm kidding. You don't do that,
Speaker 1: do you know that?
Speaker 2: You know the instok The background behind that is that
Speaker 2: like it was when everyone was like saying, like their parents'
Speaker 2: favorite musician or celebrity diet and she couldn't say a
Speaker 2: celebrity because her parents didn't or her mom didn't give
Speaker 2: a fuck about a celebrity, so she just said Jesus
Speaker 2: Christ appeared in fucking a Walmart parking lot in Ohio,
Speaker 2: Like what does that look like?
Speaker 1: That actually had me and were I'm thinking, because we
Speaker 1: were like, dude, if you saw Jesus, would he be
Speaker 1: humongous or would he just be like our sives like
Speaker 1: I do.
Speaker 2: I always imagine him like being our size.
Speaker 1: Yeah, just like a normal dude, like walking around. And
Speaker 1: then like I I feel like there's so many people
Speaker 1: who just like kind of serve Jesus that if I
Speaker 1: saw Jesus, I wouldn't know me.
Speaker 2: I mean, I give.
Speaker 1: They were the opposite of Jesus for sinning and going
Speaker 1: to hell.
Speaker 2: Then yeah, I guess you know, you know what a
Speaker 2: lot of people like, you know who. A lot of
Speaker 2: people say I look like Beyonce, Like a lot of
Speaker 2: people say a lot of people say me and Beyonce
Speaker 2: are like twins.
Speaker 1: But isn't there a video of a girl saying that it's.
Speaker 2: I think her name is New York but she's like Beyonce.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, because I dude, I'm just having too many
Speaker 1: like references of videos pop in my head. So we
Speaker 1: need to move on, because my brain is like spinning
Speaker 1: because I was thinking of like this is so humiliating,
Speaker 1: Like I was like, that sounds like something Bambi would
Speaker 1: have said, but keep going.
Speaker 2: You're weird, Okay, I'm not so so I know, and
Speaker 2: like the last oh, I want to address this real quick.
Speaker 2: This fucking thing. A lot of bitches have been saying,
Speaker 2: like Drew's always on that damn phone, like get up
Speaker 2: that damn phone, Like no, you don't realize it's open
Speaker 2: in the notes app. And it's how this podcast runs
Speaker 2: is me looking at this fucking phone, so suck my
Speaker 2: nuts from the back. I'm dead fucking serious, Like I'm
Speaker 2: not even playing serious.
Speaker 1: But what was I need to eat from the back?
Speaker 1: Sloppy style?
Speaker 2: Ew. Someone's dad saw the podcast and said, like, I
Speaker 2: like her, but like his energy is really fucking.
Speaker 1: Scared, Like he didn't like the way you touch your phone,
Speaker 1: which I do agree with. Drew does touch his phone
Speaker 1: like he shouldn't be touching it, like it's really weird.
Speaker 2: Exactly we shouldn't. These these are the real demons. Let's
Speaker 2: talk about it.
Speaker 1: It's black mirror. That's your black mirror. I ever thought about.
Speaker 2: That, looking at it when it closes, you're looking back
Speaker 2: at yourself. I showed I told someone that when we
Speaker 2: were camping, and they were like, WHOA. I literally never
Speaker 2: thought about that.
Speaker 1: Interacted with people who like are actually normal and living
Speaker 1: their life as we, like humans were intended to. And
Speaker 1: when you say things that have been regurgitated on the
Speaker 1: Internet eighteen times. You sound like a genius, Like they
Speaker 1: just can't believe it.
Speaker 2: I literally sounded. I was like so pseudo intellectual.
Speaker 1: You to him, you were Alan Watson that moment. He
Speaker 1: was like, wow, oh my god, Well, shitting on your
Speaker 1: period is like if you try, just.
Speaker 2: Don't poop, girls don't. That's what I g the nastiest
Speaker 2: ship you've literally, I think ever said ever. And like
Speaker 2: I'm almost like we should cut that, like I was,
Speaker 2: It's only it's only nasty because one you're lying because
Speaker 2: girls don't poop, hello, And two girls don't have periods.
Speaker 1: Well, no, girls like have periods, Like, so girls.
Speaker 2: Don't poop, you're inferring. You're inferring that girls don't poop,
Speaker 2: and you just know what.
Speaker 1: I'm saying, Like both are just like true statements.
Speaker 2: Okay, wait, you should be a comedian because you're like hilarious.
Speaker 1: Fuck you, Oh my god, you would do so good
Speaker 1: if you like actually tried out that.
Speaker 2: Wow. But okay, So in the past couple episodes, I've
Speaker 2: been thinking about things that are like barbaric that we
Speaker 2: do now, and one of them I thought about is
Speaker 2: so my mom and my sister and a lot of
Speaker 2: girls in my life all do this, but they go
Speaker 2: to a lash technician and get false eyelashes installed into
Speaker 2: their fucking eyes. And that's crazy. Like that's really really,
Speaker 2: really crazy, And I'm like, yeah, swaggy right now, I
Speaker 2: get it, like full eyelashes, curt like you're giving everything
Speaker 2: you wanted to give, but like it's the fantasy, but like,
Speaker 2: really think about that, and it's like hot gluing like
Speaker 2: hairs to your hairs. Like I don't know, it's really crazy.
Speaker 1: It's kind of like hair extensions though, but like for
Speaker 1: your eyes. I guess it is insane because also like
Speaker 1: how risky it is, Like we shouldn't be putting glue
Speaker 1: near our eyes. Oh did you have to like make
Speaker 1: that much noise of it?
Speaker 2: M I'm a Stanley girl, now I'm a Stanley cup.
Speaker 1: Fuck did you get that? Because I came home and
Speaker 1: that was just in the house and we've only been
Speaker 1: apart from each other for like twelve hours.
Speaker 2: So on the way to Ryan's, I stopped at Dick's
Speaker 2: Sporting Goods. Well, I stopped there because the title stopped
Speaker 2: there because Dix. I was like, oh, like, oh okay, Dick.
Speaker 1: Yeah, because Grinder was down yesterday, so you're really.
Speaker 2: Yeah, my pastor's name is Dick. But I went to
Speaker 2: Dix because I was charging my car because I almost
Speaker 2: I literally I don't have a Tesla. I don't have that.
Speaker 2: I never did that.
Speaker 1: No, yeah, because you hate us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Elon musk Hello would never support that man. But
Speaker 2: I had to stop at this parking lot to go
Speaker 2: to Dick's Sporting Goods because I haven't been until long.
Speaker 2: In that store is like literally one of my favorite
Speaker 2: places on earth, like as a kid growing up, because
Speaker 2: like I was in an of sports, like I loved sports,
Speaker 2: like I literally played so many sports growing up. But
Speaker 2: I wanted to like see what it felt like in
Speaker 2: there because I was like having to pass the time.
Speaker 2: And then I saw like a whole shelf of these,
Speaker 2: and I was like, girl, fuck hydro flask literally fuck
Speaker 2: hydroflask me, not for me.
Speaker 1: If you want to ever send me something, please do please.
Speaker 1: I'm so hard to get hydroflast pr in like twenty nineteen.
Speaker 2: Say, I've had this ship, I've been by your side
Speaker 2: for years, and I haven't gotten my flowers at all.
Speaker 2: So I'm a Stanley Cup girl and so further notice
Speaker 2: and this fits in the cup holder and I called it.
Speaker 1: But Hydro did start competing with that, and now they
Speaker 1: make cups.
Speaker 2: I saw it car and I was really hoping they
Speaker 2: came out with like a came out, came down hold on,
Speaker 2: I was really hoping they came out of the closet,
Speaker 2: but I was hoping they would come out with one
Speaker 2: that was like brushed aluminum, Like, oh my god, I
Speaker 2: went I loved that.
Speaker 1: Like custom hydro flasks. This isn't like an as for
Speaker 1: these brands. So we're just like going on a tangent
Speaker 1: about it. I think the shape of that cup is
Speaker 1: really fucking disgusting. You when I hate it, it's me
Speaker 1: when you've had it for six hours, you're like, that's
Speaker 1: what I thought when I first got it. Well, I
Speaker 1: have one, Like, can you hold it from down there?
Speaker 1: Because I just want to see what it.
Speaker 2: Looks like, like I have to hold my mic up.
Speaker 1: Actually, we're gonna go, oh, this is the heaviest thing ever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's big, it's got more water in it. I
Speaker 2: have to fix my mic because I have to like
Speaker 2: hold it up, and it's fucking pissing me off.
Speaker 1: So, oh my god. Oh well, ever since I got
Speaker 1: my texting and driving ticket, yes I text and drive. Hello,
Speaker 1: I don't anymore because now I'm actually scared. But I actually,
Speaker 1: I will say I think I am of all the
Speaker 1: people we know, I might be the best at my
Speaker 1: phone usage to driving. Yeah, like I do really do
Speaker 1: my best. And if I have to reply, like I
Speaker 1: will like use a voice to like I said, so
Speaker 1: many voice my most because usually I'll be in the card.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, yeah, you are really good about that.
Speaker 2: But me, I'm scrolling through TikTok and driving like it's crazy.
Speaker 2: I'm watching a YouTube video like I hacked my phone
Speaker 2: like it's crazy. Yeah, no, no, no, I'm just fucking kidding.
Speaker 2: I literally don't do that. But I did do something
Speaker 2: really concerning today where like I parked my car and
Speaker 2: I got out, and I had like a duffel bag
Speaker 2: and I had this big ass, stupid fucking water bottle
Speaker 2: that's like so fucking to use your phone, and I
Speaker 2: had like a pair of shoes in one hand, and
Speaker 2: like I just had a bunch of shit in my
Speaker 2: hands and then my wallet in my other hand and
Speaker 2: my phone on top of it. And I was like
Speaker 2: carrying all this shit and like scrolling and watching TikTok
Speaker 2: with all this shit in my hand, and I was
Speaker 2: like that is oh. I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: like this is like a this is a problem. Like
Speaker 2: I need to like literally go to rehab for my phone.
Speaker 2: And I'm not even fucking kidding because I went to
Speaker 2: the woods, wasn't able to use it for four days
Speaker 2: and I came back and I have like quadrupled my
Speaker 2: screen time, Like it's oh my god.
Speaker 1: I mean I've been pretty bummed this past week, so
Speaker 1: my screen time has been so bad, Like my TikTok
Speaker 1: screen time got so bad that I have started to
Speaker 1: be fed tiktoks I've already liked. And that's you know,
Speaker 1: it's really bad. You know this app is like starting
Speaker 1: to repeat on it because it's like but I literally
Speaker 1: don't know what else you're beating. Yeah, I'm like, I'm
Speaker 1: beating the time it takes for people to make more content.
Speaker 2: You know when it gets really bad is when you
Speaker 2: get past that point and then they start recommending videos
Speaker 2: with zero light.
Speaker 1: It's either zero or like like eight million, like so
Speaker 1: many I almost want to see right now, Like I
Speaker 1: haven't been on it as much like the past two
Speaker 1: days hello, and I want to see if it's going
Speaker 1: to do that, like if it's like top light look three.
Speaker 2: Like yeah, thirty nine exactly.
Speaker 1: And then it's like a few normal ones that I
Speaker 1: would maybe interact with, but then it's like gotten into
Speaker 1: a lot of like the cap cut shit.
Speaker 2: Where it's just yeah templates, like.
Speaker 1: Weird templates, and then it's like like high school drama,
Speaker 1: like when he doesn't text you back, like weird, like
Speaker 1: eight million liked tiktoks.
Speaker 2: And then like one hundred ads are like, oh, this
Speaker 2: is like an ad watcher, like they're gonna just get
Speaker 2: make us meet our quota, and I'm fed like four
Speaker 2: ads in a row, like four in a row. It's
Speaker 2: like cram crazy, four motherfuckers for the bitches that were
Speaker 2: gonna clip that and say four, oh he put up three,
Speaker 2: like what the hell? Four?
Speaker 1: Well, because I brought the ticket thing up because I
Speaker 1: was driving the other day and thinking about how most
Speaker 1: people like a ticket doesn't stop them from interacting with
Speaker 1: a habit like that, Like it's we just live in
Speaker 1: a day and age where grabbing your phone is such
Speaker 1: a within a split second if you're free, so if
Speaker 1: you're out a red light er in traffic, you're gonna
Speaker 1: grab your phone. Because that's how I got caught. I
Speaker 1: was like on the highway and stand still traffic, and
Speaker 1: I was fully on my phone. I think I already
Speaker 1: told the story. I looked up at him. I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this is embarrassing whatever. But a way
Speaker 1: to curb that would have to be when the cop
Speaker 1: comes up to you, you legally have to screen record
Speaker 1: what you were looking at and bring it to court,
Speaker 1: like imagine to go to cor Like, so I was
Speaker 1: on Google Max I fucking hates Instagram page because I
Speaker 1: needed to see their story and what they were up
Speaker 1: to or like. So I was texting about like this,
Speaker 1: this and that, Like I like having to show like
Speaker 1: what exactly you were watching.
Speaker 2: See. I've literally always thought about that, like how it
Speaker 2: would be if like I was on my phone, but
Speaker 2: I was literally looking at like Google Maps or some shit,
Speaker 2: and they're like, I saw you on your phone, and
Speaker 2: I was like, no, I swear like I was on
Speaker 2: Google Maps. Like that's always if I ever do get caught,
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna switch over to Google Maps really quickly.
Speaker 1: My shit is connected to car play and I literally
Speaker 1: am like with it in my hand, but the directions
Speaker 1: are right down. I'm like, oh, I just need like.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, don't don't text and drive. It's so easy
Speaker 2: not to do that. Don't use your fucking phone and drive.
Speaker 2: It's so easy not to. We're not good influences. Don't
Speaker 2: do as we do, do as I say.
Speaker 1: I'm actually pretty good about it, though, but I was
Speaker 1: so shocked when I got stopped for that. I was like,
Speaker 1: are you freaking serious? Blow? And then I already said this,
Speaker 1: so I'm just gonna repeat myself. When he went back
Speaker 1: to his card write the ticket like I wasn't touching
Speaker 1: my phone as if I was on punish man, I
Speaker 1: was like, I already got caught using it, Like I
Speaker 1: might as well just get on it.
Speaker 2: We had pride and you did do it in his face. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Also, I feel like I have never mind. I don't
Speaker 1: have to do anything.
Speaker 2: Well, this is just a car episode because we have
Speaker 2: a few things that happened. So we went to miss
Speaker 2: Devin Lee Carlson's birthday. Yes, we're invited to like major
Speaker 2: socialite events like every party you've ever heard of in La.
Speaker 2: We go to because we are the it girls like
Speaker 2: the people Your favorites favorite is me and Ya. Me
Speaker 2: and arm like we're your favorites favorites like Sasha Kobe,
Speaker 2: your favorite drag Queen's favorite drag queen is Sasha Koby.
Speaker 2: Your favorite person's favorite person is me and Ya.
Speaker 1: So true, it's almost like bad we always have to
Speaker 1: say no to social I.
Speaker 2: Know, because we're so booked and doing it all the
Speaker 2: time and we're not laying in phone in bed on
Speaker 2: our phone. Yeah. But on the way home, Kai wanted
Speaker 2: us to drive him and I was sober that night.
Speaker 2: So I was driving and I was driving in his car,
Speaker 2: and Kyle like came up to me and was like, hey,
Speaker 2: like can you take me home? Like I don't want
Speaker 2: to have to uber this way? And I was like sure,
Speaker 2: Like what is like six minutes away or something. It
Speaker 2: was like seventeen minutes out of the fucking way.
Speaker 1: I know. It was like when you said that. Also,
Speaker 1: I was just chewing on my finger so crazy in
Speaker 1: the mic, and I know it sounded crazy, but when
Speaker 1: you were like, yeah, I know it's on the way,
Speaker 1: I looked at the map and I was like, bitch,
Speaker 1: that is not on the way. I literally like out
Speaker 1: of the way, but I wasn't gonna fight it because
Speaker 1: I didn't mind. Also, I was like having fun being
Speaker 1: in the car listening to music, like it.
Speaker 2: Was a key it was a literal key blast. Well,
Speaker 2: we're pulling out and I literally crashed in his car
Speaker 2: within three seconds, like I drive it up on the
Speaker 2: curb and like and it's like.
Speaker 1: Brushed the underside of my bumper.
Speaker 2: Everyone was like dying laughing, and I was like, guys,
Speaker 2: it's literally not funny, Like this isn't funny.
Speaker 1: So I was like, oh, of course this fucking happened
Speaker 1: to me. This is not fucking funny.
Speaker 2: I jumped out and I like went and looked at it,
Speaker 2: and everything was like pretty much normal, and I was like, oh,
Speaker 2: like we're good, Like let's let's keep driving. And we
Speaker 2: get on the freeway and I get a notification on
Speaker 2: it in his car and it's like the tire pressure
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh, I just click okay and ignore
Speaker 2: it because like that shit always pops up. And then
Speaker 2: it pops up again and I click okay again and
Speaker 2: I'm ignoring it and then I'm like, okay, the third
Speaker 2: time is popped up three times now, like I need
Speaker 2: to look at this, and it's like one tire then
Speaker 2: not the tire that I hit, but the tire on
Speaker 2: the opposite side is like fourteen percent or fourteen ps i,
Speaker 2: thirteen psi, ten psi. And I'm like, guys, we have
Speaker 2: a fucking flat. And everyone's like, no, we don't shut up,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, we have a fucking flat. And we
Speaker 2: were on the freeway and we almost fucking died, y'all.
Speaker 2: Like it was so scary.
Speaker 1: I told everybody after him, and like everybody who we
Speaker 1: saw the next day was like, yeah, what'd you GetUp to.
Speaker 1: He was like, well, we almost died, but other than that,
Speaker 1: like things have been good, but it was just really scary,
Speaker 1: Like you're so annoying you say it to everybody, and
Speaker 1: then they always look at me because obviously we were together,
Speaker 1: and I'm just like like.
Speaker 2: Let it literally he's but yeah, we literally almost flipped
Speaker 2: and died like times, and it's all Kaids fault.
Speaker 1: Basically, I bet I put something in there because we
Speaker 1: refuse to hang out with him, and he's like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm going to make them hang out with me, and
Speaker 1: he knew that he'd get us on the side of
Speaker 1: the road for like twenty five minutes. So when the
Speaker 1: tire went flat, I was I saw somebody being like
Speaker 1: in and you stop mentioning being drunk or high on
Speaker 1: the episodes, because I think every story, I'm like, I
Speaker 1: was drunk, but this is just for contact. I was
Speaker 1: drunk and I know how to change a tire, but
Speaker 1: I was like, bitch, I don't want to do that
Speaker 1: right now, Like no, I didn't get who.
Speaker 2: The fuck said that. Yeah, I know, fucking nerd loser, loser,
Speaker 2: virgin loser.
Speaker 1: But I was inebriated and I didn't want to change
Speaker 1: a tire in that moment. So in my head, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna call Triple A. I don't want my
Speaker 1: trunk is full of shit. Getting the spear out is
Speaker 1: too much. I didn't want to do it. But then
Speaker 1: something clicked in me because I remembered how much fun
Speaker 1: I have changing tires. I literally get a kick out
Speaker 1: of it, Like it is so fun. I've changed like
Speaker 1: four tires in the past two years, and they always
Speaker 1: pop around me because God wants to give me a
Speaker 1: fun game to play. If that kind of stuff was
Speaker 1: happening to me all the time, actually, no, I don't
Speaker 1: want to listen to their mine. I was gonna say
Speaker 1: that would.
Speaker 2: Be fun, but like, my tire is gonna explode on
Speaker 2: the freeway and I'm gonna roll thirteen times and God's
Speaker 2: gonna be like, fix that, bitch, and I will.
Speaker 1: I'll fucking like back together in cartoons when it's like
Speaker 1: really fast going around, it's like yeah, yeah. But basically
Speaker 1: I was the saving queen of the night because I
Speaker 1: fix the tire all by myself and insert video now.
Speaker 2: Girl the tire on? Yeah, how there do you? Guys?
Speaker 2: We try to help, but she wouldn't let us.
Speaker 1: Man the barny movie down to be and Josie and
Speaker 1: Kai Drew told them. While we had the tire up
Speaker 1: and we were like putting the spear on and screwing
Speaker 1: the bolts in, Drew kept saying to Kay and Josie, like,
Speaker 1: be careful putting the spear in the trunk because don't
Speaker 1: push it off of the what is it called like
Speaker 1: a crank? He was like, don't don't push it off
Speaker 1: of there. Don't push it off of there, bitch. They
Speaker 1: didn't fucking listen, and they pushed the tire into the
Speaker 1: trunk too hard. And the car fell right onto the
Speaker 1: spear and the screw thing knocked into my mouth and
Speaker 1: I got to bust the lip because of Kay and Josiah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: they never let them live that down, because they literally
Speaker 1: fucking hit me, which is so weird because I'm their
Speaker 1: friend and I like, I do care for them and
Speaker 1: I'm always looking out for them. But just in a
Speaker 1: split second for joy or like as a joke, they
Speaker 1: decided they wanted to bust my lip.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they really weird. Literally made it in your fucking
Speaker 2: bleed and they almost ripped my fingers off. I was
Speaker 2: so scared. I was literally so scared. But then the
Speaker 2: next day we go to the beach. We have a
Speaker 2: key at the beach for Zamar's birthday, and then we're
Speaker 2: driving home. Guys, I've never seen this happen before, but
Speaker 2: me and Enya witness RoadHead happen. Oh yeah, we forgot
Speaker 2: about it.
Speaker 1: It was so insane.
Speaker 2: It was so lit too. It was so weird.
Speaker 1: I was like, what else happened in the car?
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was so lit because like we see the
Speaker 2: car in front of us like swerve out of the way,
Speaker 2: and then he's like, what the fuck is that? And
Speaker 2: we drive.
Speaker 1: It was like the middle of the day on a Sunday.
Speaker 1: So in my head, I'm like, there's no way you're drunk.
Speaker 1: Something's happening in there.
Speaker 2: And then like Enya like says, she sees a girl's
Speaker 2: hair like pop up.
Speaker 1: Really yeah, because like when he sworeved, I saw through
Speaker 1: the thing like his arm go like this, and her
Speaker 1: head was lifting up.
Speaker 2: So I was like hmm wait, and so I'm like,
Speaker 2: in your speed up, I'm like, speed up, please speed around.
Speaker 2: So we like jerk out of our lane and start
Speaker 2: jerking off, and like we pull up next to the
Speaker 2: car and we look.
Speaker 1: Over and she was nowhere to be seen.
Speaker 2: She was nowhere to be seen. And he's like looking over,
Speaker 2: he has like the biggest smile on his face. He's
Speaker 2: like cheeky, he's like happy about it, and he knows
Speaker 2: we know. And then like he.
Speaker 1: Just watched me like a fucking perber.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, he knows, we know. And so he's laughing.
Speaker 2: We're laughing, and then we've slowed down a little bit,
Speaker 2: and then we speed back up because I'm like, wait,
Speaker 2: hold on, no, there's no way. And then she's now
Speaker 2: back in the.
Speaker 1: Seat and they're all like cracking.
Speaker 2: They're looking at us like cracking the fuck up. And
Speaker 2: then we're just like and like we celebrate like.
Speaker 1: Tearing back, and I'm like, damn, y'all are so cool
Speaker 1: because it was weird for us, Like they're doing no.
Speaker 2: I was gonna say, they're literally getting headed in public,
Speaker 2: Like we were.
Speaker 1: Just into that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we were just saying that they were like drinking
Speaker 2: that just because we.
Speaker 1: Had to make sure they weren't drinking off the floor.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, exactly, because it's really or she passed out,
Speaker 2: like I was just.
Speaker 1: Like looking at her. Also, on the way to the beach,
Speaker 1: we had another car interaction. I really had to poop
Speaker 1: and somebody just so happened to have a thing that
Speaker 1: said honk if you need to poop, and we honked
Speaker 1: and they were I've never seen someone happier about someone
Speaker 1: else thinking to ship, but it was really cute.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we celebrated together, guys. Roads in La are so fun.
Speaker 1: Yeah, ours, we're guests together. Everybody's like stop, car stop,
Speaker 1: car stop cars, Like we live in like a car
Speaker 1: dominated population, but look at what it does for us.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we get RoadHead stories and poop stories.
Speaker 1: Right well, and feminist anthems, No.
Speaker 2: Whoa well? Last episode two episodes ago, I mentioned that
Speaker 2: I am afraid of getting blood clots. Now I have
Speaker 2: a new thing. I'm afraid.
Speaker 1: I thought you were going to like line and say
Speaker 1: you had a blood cloth.
Speaker 2: Yeah. I almost died, guys, No, I literally did almost
Speaker 2: die though. So my new fear is rabies. Like I'm
Speaker 2: convinced that I'm gonna get rabies. Y'all.
Speaker 1: Wait, what animals carry rabies? Is it mammals?
Speaker 2: Most of them? Bats carry raby really do though?
Speaker 1: Like, what does rabies really do to air?
Speaker 2: It makes you literally homophobic or hydrophobia.
Speaker 1: Oh, I have rabies. I think it makes you hide
Speaker 1: your phobic literally.
Speaker 2: It's so scary.
Speaker 1: And this you already are you stinky bitch like shower
Speaker 1: bit You got rabies And that's what hyprophobia actually also
Speaker 1: to do with like drinking water, yes, which I know
Speaker 1: a lot of y'all who have that because you refused
Speaker 1: to stop squirting those little fucking liquid and like strawberry
Speaker 1: packets into your water. I saw this girl take this
Speaker 1: huge gallon and she put like red for she put
Speaker 1: like a bunch of red forty in it, like strawberry selsy.
Speaker 1: It is like all this shit.
Speaker 2: I can't talk my ship on this, like I think it.
Speaker 2: I want like, like you're not drinking water, I want
Speaker 2: strawberry cake flavored water. I'm sorry, Like that sounds good
Speaker 2: to me, That's disgusting. So the thing with brabies is
Speaker 2: so you can like be sleeping in a tin and
Speaker 2: I or you can be chilling in your bed with
Speaker 2: your window open while you're sleeping and a bat flies
Speaker 2: into your room.
Speaker 1: Okay, so the probabilities already incredibly listen to be getting
Speaker 1: of like a Halloween movie from this that's ray.
Speaker 2: They bite you in your sleep, you don't even feel
Speaker 2: it because their bites are so small. You wake up,
Speaker 2: you look at your arm and you're like, oh, fuck,
Speaker 2: a spider bit me. Three days later you're like, well
Speaker 2: I'm a little sick. It's already too fucking late. The
Speaker 2: second you show signs for rabies, no, And that's even
Speaker 2: what's even crazier is like the videos of people with
Speaker 2: hydrophobia from rabies is fucking so scary because like you
Speaker 2: put a water in their face and they're like like.
Speaker 1: Literally give because that would be too fun.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: They're literally like going up to somebody who's literally terrified
Speaker 1: of liquid and.
Speaker 2: Then you just die slightly. Then you literally die slowly,
Speaker 2: and there's no cure for it.
Speaker 1: You can't get like liquids pumped into you.
Speaker 2: No, you don't. You don't die of like dehydration. You
Speaker 2: just die from fucking rabies.
Speaker 1: Why would they have a cure? How many people are
Speaker 1: getting rabies? That's really not that movie.
Speaker 2: But I'm still fucking scared because when I'm camping, there's
Speaker 2: bats out there and they be swooping. That's fucking bite
Speaker 2: I love, but he said, try to bite me. They
Speaker 2: literally try to bite me every time I'm out there.
Speaker 2: I have like people that can vouch for me every
Speaker 2: fucking time I'm literally the victim of a bat attack.
Speaker 2: Like it's literally so scary. And I'm talking and it
Speaker 2: made me so happy, and I ain't talking Gotham and
Speaker 2: I'm not talking.
Speaker 1: Okay, Like, seriously, what the fucket's wrong with you? Well,
Speaker 1: in on Duras, when I was like seven, one time I.
Speaker 2: Went to go take my little You're literally lying.
Speaker 1: One time I went to go take my bucket shower
Speaker 1: bath and my grandma had just heated me up some
Speaker 1: water on the stove. I had like a nice little,
Speaker 1: big warm bucket. So I went into the bathroom with
Speaker 1: my bucket about to shower, and I just hear like
Speaker 1: and I'm like like freaking out, and I look up
Speaker 1: and there was a bat stuck in the bathroom with me,
Speaker 1: and I freaked the fuck out and ran out, and
Speaker 1: my grandma had to go in with a broom and
Speaker 1: trying to get him out, and but like my grandma
Speaker 1: like accidentally closed the door behind us. So then we
Speaker 1: were just in there with a broom, a bat and
Speaker 1: like me and my bucket of water. And I didn't
Speaker 1: get rabies, but I actually love bats. They're so cute.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, that would have sounded like I would.
Speaker 2: Have not been okay. So you know, like I'm afraid
Speaker 2: of getting rabies, Like I'm convinced I'm gonna get rabies,
Speaker 2: but you know the.
Speaker 1: Bat is gonna come through your window at night in
Speaker 1: the middle of Los Angeles. Yeah, yeah, because I didn't
Speaker 1: see about the other night.
Speaker 2: It's a thing. But just like I'm convinced I'm gonna
Speaker 2: get rabies, I'm convinced I'm gonna win the lottery. Like
Speaker 2: it's on this same level of like deletion that's yeah exactly.
Speaker 2: But we were talking yesterday and I was like, I
Speaker 2: was like doing like I had bought a lottery ticket
Speaker 2: because it was like two billion dollars or something. I
Speaker 2: was like, I literally can't buy it, not buy a
Speaker 2: lottery ticket. And then I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: I forgot I had this. And then I checked the
Speaker 2: app and I was like, we got someone won, Like
Speaker 2: oh my god, I literally won. I just know. I
Speaker 2: was like, I just know I fucking won. So I
Speaker 2: made in your record. I didn't win, but I thought
Speaker 2: about it, and I was like, if I won like
Speaker 2: two million dollars on the lottery, like I would be
Speaker 2: so pissed, Like I.
Speaker 1: Would like so much of it gets taken for taxes. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like if it went two million versus like two billion,
Speaker 1: like I would I actually no, it would make me happy,
Speaker 1: but I'd be like, damn, I could have made two billion.
Speaker 2: I know literally, That's what I'm saying. Like if I
Speaker 2: won just two million, I'd be like, bro, like what
Speaker 2: am I supposed to do with that? Like buy a
Speaker 2: fucking Lamborghini urist, Like I can only buy one, not
Speaker 2: three hundred, Like.
Speaker 1: Say, like if you're gonna be gluttonous and win the lottery.
Speaker 1: You needed to be like to the full extreme, not
Speaker 1: like yeah, I guess. Oh my god, living in LA,
Speaker 1: like you can't even get like a.
Speaker 2: Really nice hib I know, you can't even get like
Speaker 2: a house in LA. It's fucking terrifying. Housing markets collapsing soon.
Speaker 2: Like I promise just way guys waited out will be good.
Speaker 1: To Well, this is what I wanted to show you.
Speaker 1: That made me laugh.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, you're no, it's like not.
Speaker 1: That funny, but it stills me because you have to
Speaker 1: look at the time and everything. Yes, the fuck I.
Speaker 2: Do bit, Yes, I I think period.
Speaker 1: It's like I was really feeling emotionally charged in the
Speaker 1: middle of the night the other night and I was like,
Speaker 1: I need to write this out, and then I went
Speaker 1: to go start and I was like my Brad was
Speaker 1: like and then I just left it alone.
Speaker 2: And I thought I.
Speaker 1: Would circle back, but I instead circle jerk with Drew's
Speaker 1: mom and then we fell asleep. So imagine being so brave.
Speaker 1: Your first day is at the beach. You are a killer.
Speaker 1: Are the killer.
Speaker 2: See whoever I'm dating will not see my body for
Speaker 2: three years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I think that's correct. Yeah, because I mean,
Speaker 1: but I'm speaking more like as a victim who has
Speaker 1: seen your body.
Speaker 2: I know it's it's really traumatic, y'all. Like it really
Speaker 2: is like a scary it's scary as fun.
Speaker 1: It's like when Neptune and SpongeBob shows his head. That's
Speaker 1: what it felt.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it's like Pharrell in the Big Hat. Yes, Neptune,
Speaker 2: so you get it. Neptunes, Pharrell, Big Hat, sponge Bob
Speaker 2: Drew scary body. Like there's just, like I say, there's
Speaker 2: like levels and layers to it, and y'all just like
Speaker 2: aren't there Yeah, yeah, to like fully understand the grasp
Speaker 2: of what I'm saying. Okay, So there's another thing. I
Speaker 2: think something bad is gonna happen again. Like I really
Speaker 2: do think something big is coming, because it's been like
Speaker 2: almost a year since I've predicted that, like something big
Speaker 2: was coming. Yeah, not an earthquake. I'm thinking something like
Speaker 2: on the microcosmic level of like our house, Like I'm
Speaker 2: thinking like someone is gonna invade us, or someone's gonna
Speaker 2: try to you even.
Speaker 1: Want to think that. I mean, I guess I didn't
Speaker 1: have the feeling two days or yesterday that I genuinely
Speaker 1: am convinced right now that I'm going to die soon.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I made it in your record. Actually we
Speaker 2: both did that, we both recorded.
Speaker 1: It will yeah.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: But I just like sometimes I get into these points
Speaker 1: where I'm like, oh, I need to feel everything I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to feel right now because one like, very soon,
Speaker 1: I will not have this. And then I was listening
Speaker 1: to a song yesterday before I fell asleep, and I
Speaker 1: was like, this is genuinely what I think dying feels like.
Speaker 1: I'm listening to the song. It's a Robin Gootree song
Speaker 1: that's really good, but I'm like, this is definitely what
Speaker 1: it feels.
Speaker 2: Like to me.
Speaker 1: I want to I can't name it because I was
Speaker 1: listening to the whole CD, so I would have to go,
Speaker 1: like listen through because I don't know the track.
Speaker 2: But Keeper, okay, gay Keeper Gaykeeper.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I do keep them. I have a lot around me.
Speaker 1: It's like weird. Honestly, I was gonna say, say, oh,
Speaker 1: opening up pad in a public restroom is the equivalent
Speaker 1: to opening a bag of candy when the movie starts
Speaker 1: at the movie theater. It's just like that same pressure
Speaker 1: you feel where you're like, fuck, am I like how
Speaker 1: am I gonna do this. Am I gonna be brave
Speaker 1: and just like fucking get it over with and rip
Speaker 1: it open? Or am I gonna like slowly like you know,
Speaker 1: like those people translate, like the girls in the movie
Speaker 1: Theater who just rip that shit open, are the same
Speaker 1: ones in the bathroom.
Speaker 2: Who are just like and that's me. Like when I'm
Speaker 2: opening my pad in the bathroom, I'm like, I don't
Speaker 2: give a fuck about your feelings, Like I'm gonna open
Speaker 2: this and I'm gonna own it.
Speaker 1: You should be embarrassed though, because you're using it like
Speaker 1: a pseudo diaper, because you shut out your I have
Speaker 1: a soggy boy on the back of your underwear.
Speaker 2: I have a soggy fucking bottom Okay, like a gaping
Speaker 2: bottom hole up there.
Speaker 1: It is being forced as a young girl to go
Speaker 1: to a swimming pool in like a family setting when
Speaker 1: what like when you first started your period and you
Speaker 1: were only allowed to wear pads. That is the kind
Speaker 1: of like trauma that I don't think I see anybody
Speaker 1: talking about, like being forced to wear it. Being forced
Speaker 1: to wear a pad in a pool like that is
Speaker 1: like so fucked up, Like is that a thing that's a.
Speaker 1: I think that's a universal thing. Is like most girls
Speaker 1: who start their periods start using pads. You're always around
Speaker 1: family events and like situations where you're gonna get in
Speaker 1: a pool. You don't want to be the weirdo who's
Speaker 1: not in the pool, So you're purely God.
Speaker 2: I didn't know we were talking about that. Oh nasty.
Speaker 2: All of y'all are fucking nice.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Like, what's wrong with you? Where's the love?
Speaker 1: What did the Barbie move?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: You haven't seen it?
Speaker 2: Where's the fucking hits? They don't talk about periods and Barbie? Actually,
Speaker 2: maybe I should.
Speaker 1: Go see it so you can learn about period.
Speaker 2: No, so I cannot have to learn about periods because
Speaker 2: they don't talk about it.
Speaker 1: They do if you haven't seen it, Like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: just ignore me, but they do. I don't know why
Speaker 1: I'm telling you that you haven't seen that movie. I
Speaker 1: shouldn't do that. No, I don't want to say.
Speaker 2: It right right right. Well, the other day I was
Speaker 2: looking in the mirror. The other day I was looking
Speaker 2: in the mirror.
Speaker 1: What, like, seriously, was wrong with you?
Speaker 2: No? I was just looking at myself and I was
Speaker 2: like playing a game. I was playing a game, seeing
Speaker 2: how long I could stare at myself in the eyes
Speaker 2: for before I like completely like experienced ego death. I
Speaker 2: really don't suggest anyone does that, but like if you
Speaker 2: really want to have, like for real, like a psychedelic experience,
Speaker 2: like look at yourself in the mirror for longer than three.
Speaker 1: Minutes, like actually be examined in a really really serious way,
Speaker 1: like the think I was probably just on the couch
Speaker 1: playing Fortnite and like ten feet away, that's what you're
Speaker 1: doing in the bathroom, seriously, need help, people around listen.
Speaker 2: I was staring at myself. I was like it was
Speaker 2: like a game. I was like, how long can I
Speaker 2: do this?
Speaker 1: For it?
Speaker 2: And then I got lost in it and then I
Speaker 2: like snapped out of it and I saw myself for
Speaker 2: the first time, like for really what I am and
Speaker 2: what I look like.
Speaker 1: Because literally mean when I get addicted to the grind
Speaker 1: and I got a step.
Speaker 2: There, yeah, exactly exactly, I get lost in the saw hospital.
Speaker 2: I saw myself for who I really am and what
Speaker 2: I really looked like. I know who you are, and
Speaker 2: I'm convinced you for who you are. We switched timelines
Speaker 2: and then like like in the last like two months.
Speaker 1: So you have this thing when when you're experiencing emotional events,
Speaker 1: you just convince yourself you switched time, you can leave.
Speaker 2: I didn't take that as a note and I didn't
Speaker 2: write down, and I was just trying to be funny.
Speaker 2: I didn't actually think that.
Speaker 1: This is like every time I talk about any relationships,
Speaker 1: like romantic relationship problems I'm in with Drew, he always
Speaker 1: loops it back to the economy, Like he within twelve
Speaker 1: hours of me like just talking through something with him
Speaker 1: was like, dude, it's literally like the economy. Like you
Speaker 1: gotta like like get your place in and like you
Speaker 1: either like thug it out and you end up good
Speaker 1: on the other side, or you pull out and like
Speaker 1: you never know what happens, like or like you said
Speaker 1: something like.
Speaker 2: That and then you but did I eat? Did I eat? Look? Look, look,
Speaker 2: you can apply it both ways, like listen, listen, listen, listen, listen.
Speaker 2: When you invest invest in the stock market, if it
Speaker 2: dips down a little bit and you pull out, you
Speaker 2: actually lost money. But if you stay in and it
Speaker 2: goes back up, you didn't lose money and you gained
Speaker 2: a profit. So basically, stay in your own fucking lane.
Speaker 2: And it's like that on the goddamn highway when we're
Speaker 2: in traffic. Stay in your goddamn fucking lane, bitch.
Speaker 1: Yeah, seriously wrong with you? I guess yeah, like it
Speaker 1: makes sense, but just to be in a position where
Speaker 1: I'm like crying and I'm like, yeah, you know, like
Speaker 1: I don't know, like this is like whatever, and You're
Speaker 1: just like, dude, this is exactly like this is what I've.
Speaker 2: Been telling you, Lizzy maguire, Lizzy MacGuire, No, but I
Speaker 2: literally twice.
Speaker 1: But the second time he did catch himself, he was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: I need to stop doing that.
Speaker 2: I was like, this is the second time I've related
Speaker 2: your emotions to the economy, and it's proving your point
Speaker 2: that I am like not a robot, or I am
Speaker 2: a robot. But yeah, that's what you get for coming
Speaker 2: to me, of all people with emotional problems, because I
Speaker 2: am emotionless.
Speaker 1: Also, I'm sorry I started laughing because my top three
Speaker 1: notes are all about my couchie, But like, what the
Speaker 1: fuck is that machine?
Speaker 2: I eat so much cheese and pickles. My pea word
Speaker 2: probably tastes like electric shock from a dephibulator. I mean
Speaker 2: You're right, like, is like the I could it tastes
Speaker 2: like battery. I feel like those tastes like I feel
Speaker 2: like your vagina tastes like a nine old battery.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I lie, like I can see that, Like you
Speaker 1: know when you used to like the old Android. That's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, Like, that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: You know, oh, you know the new Nintendo Switch cartridges.
Speaker 2: That's what bronze. Your bronze and tasteless. It's bitter and scary.
Speaker 1: It's like alcohols. And then the last thing I said
Speaker 1: about periods and Kouchi is if someone told me doing
Speaker 1: meth once a month stop my period, I'd try it. Also,
Speaker 1: I'm just in a mental state where I think i'd
Speaker 1: just try it.
Speaker 2: In general, Yeah, that would be lit. We should like
Speaker 2: start on meth.
Speaker 1: Once and then it's like once a month just like
Speaker 1: stops your period.
Speaker 2: Paint.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Actually, I mean it's it's.
Speaker 2: A literal win win situation because you get high from
Speaker 2: meth and you also don't have a period. Yeah, so yeah,
Speaker 2: but don't do that. Yeah, don't try that. Don't even
Speaker 2: taste that out. But yeah, I feel like lately I'm
Speaker 2: giving like fishy cunt. Okay, okay, wait, okay, I got okay.
Speaker 2: So I gotta say, a lot of the famous people
Speaker 2: y'all know, aren't that cool? I don't know. Oh, it
Speaker 2: was a joke and the cadence is all wrong. It
Speaker 2: was supposed to be like I know all of.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, every famous person? Did you through your
Speaker 1: notes and trying to understand your tone before saying it
Speaker 1: out loud was the craziest thing I've ever heard.
Speaker 2: Oh, this is a good one. I think we've talked
Speaker 2: about it before, but I literally don't give a fuck.
Speaker 2: How are people still breaking records like while they're running? Like,
Speaker 2: how are people getting How are people getting faster and faster?
Speaker 1: And I know the technology, it's that fucking Celsius.
Speaker 2: It's like in the technology and the sneakers and like
Speaker 2: whatever the running form, but like, really think about it, like,
Speaker 2: how are we getting faster? It makes no fucking sense.
Speaker 2: And and that brings me to the next thing. It
Speaker 2: already talked about it. It's like two weeks old now, but
Speaker 2: the girl that like kind of cheated her way into
Speaker 2: the race and literally recorded the slowest.
Speaker 1: What they say about right now, the.
Speaker 2: World's slowest fucking time fuck.
Speaker 1: I wish I remember exactly because it wasn't a popular
Speaker 1: video that you showed me that like had this voiceover,
Speaker 1: but it was like this average and unhealthy woman. Yeah yeah,
Speaker 1: literally how people describe it.
Speaker 2: Yeah exactly. But she recorded the world's slowest time like
Speaker 2: in a race.
Speaker 1: What I like laughing at myself being like that's.
Speaker 2: Me okay, Shane Dawson, Me, okay, that's a literally amazing.
Speaker 1: I'd rather be at home with the pizza.
Speaker 2: Ah, what the heck? The Ghost, the Gucci Ghost full
Speaker 2: track suit, Gucci Ghost.
Speaker 1: I'm parting.
Speaker 2: Welcome to Drew Shy on corner. I've noticed enough and
Speaker 2: I'm going to stop paying attention now.
Speaker 1: Actually, how I feel Like I was sitting and talking
Speaker 1: to Elisa and her homie about like law school and stuff,
Speaker 1: and I was saying that I was like, damn, bro,
Speaker 1: I don't think I've ever felt this stupid in my life.
Speaker 1: Like I literally couldn't tell you the first thing you
Speaker 1: do at law school. But I don't know a single
Speaker 1: thing you're supposed to learn the laws, Like that's literally
Speaker 1: where my knowledge of Like also what you just have
Speaker 1: to know every law?
Speaker 2: Like what is the test like that for like I know,
Speaker 2: we're literally talking about the same thing about like mathematics,
Speaker 2: like looking at people like solve the code to nuclear
Speaker 2: bombs and it's like a bunch of letters and numbers
Speaker 2: on the board. I'm like, yeah, fucking right, you're lying.
Speaker 2: You just wanted to fake it.
Speaker 1: Like that's not right, that doesn't mean anything. Also, like
Speaker 1: I could put symbols on a board and then just
Speaker 1: tell you what I think they mean and it's gonna
Speaker 1: make sense. Like so I just don't believe you, and
Speaker 1: it's really weird. But yeah, I just will never learn
Speaker 1: anything ever. Again, I don't think exactly exactly, which is
Speaker 1: exactly what our parents did at one point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, our parents literally cheated the system. Iis and Fetti
Speaker 2: Whopper running shit in twenty fourteen. For real. That's a
Speaker 2: crazy mix think about it, though, I.
Speaker 1: Mean it is true. That's all that was the talk
Speaker 1: of the town. Yeah, talk of the town. Remember when
Speaker 1: the talk of the town was swine flu.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I was convinced I was gonna get it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, everybody thought they were gonna get swine flu. But
Speaker 1: I guess I feel like that's equivalent to you thinking
Speaker 1: you're gonna get rabies. But I didn't know a kid
Speaker 1: growing up who actually did get swine.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was starting to grow around in my school,
Speaker 2: like three kids got it, but they caught it before
Speaker 2: it spread. But yeah, I think I'm responsible for the
Speaker 2: demise of ISIS. Like I think I single handedly.
Speaker 1: I actually do believe you. Somebody from their team definitely
Speaker 1: saw you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because I was posting like ig stories back in
Speaker 2: like twenty sixteen of me saying like isis like literally
Speaker 2: please fucking stop, and it literally worked. Dude.
Speaker 1: I cannot believe what the internet has fed us since
Speaker 1: we were children, like the fact that we were even
Speaker 1: a part of that conversation we were literally baby. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that is insane, I know, and thinking so much about
Speaker 1: like I don't know, like our moral ambiguity that's come
Speaker 1: with the Internet and how it's like such a toss
Speaker 1: up and like you really have to choose one side,
Speaker 1: but do you like there's so much.
Speaker 2: Great context in the world. Yeah, it's really really fucked
Speaker 2: up that I was like thirteen years old, like going
Speaker 2: through puberty actively and watching people die on my iPhone,
Speaker 2: Like that's so fucking crazy that it's.
Speaker 1: Like insane, Like every day, it's not like we stopped
Speaker 1: it were we like all at the age where we
Speaker 1: were like, Okay, there has to be a way to
Speaker 1: stop this.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but like I don't.
Speaker 1: Know that there is.
Speaker 2: I cannot believe and like there's nothing my parents could
Speaker 2: have done about it, Like I was going to watch
Speaker 2: people die anyway, and like I've like a part of
Speaker 2: me is like bad shit exist and we should be
Speaker 2: able to consume it. But like there has to be
Speaker 2: like a way line. There has to be a line
Speaker 2: that we just can't cross. And I think for children, Yeah,
Speaker 2: me at thirteen years old watching isis be head someone
Speaker 2: is like that long in like I shouldn't know what
Speaker 2: that is, right right, Oh, this is the last thing
Speaker 2: I'll talk about. Then we'll get into media. But me
Speaker 2: and Nya left the house yesterday for the first time
Speaker 2: in like three weeks, and we went to Sephora. And
Speaker 2: if you're watching, like this isn't a dig at you,
Speaker 2: It's literally like we were dying laughing after this interaction.
Speaker 2: But one of the like people.
Speaker 1: The prodcaster I can't remember her name.
Speaker 2: And she she was like, oh, can I get a picture?
Speaker 2: And I was like yeah, sure, and she was like, oh,
Speaker 2: but like, how are we going to do this like,
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, I have long arms, like
Speaker 2: I'll take it. So I was like holding your picture,
Speaker 2: and I was like taking like a bunch of photos
Speaker 2: because I'm like, oh, like, let's.
Speaker 1: It's used to like do enough for you to like
Speaker 1: feel cute and whatever.
Speaker 2: One a Yeah, someone's going to look good in all
Speaker 2: of them, but one of them is everyone's going to
Speaker 2: look good. Like that's my philosophy. So I was taking
Speaker 2: pictures and then like I'm like, oh, let's look at them,
Speaker 2: and she's like, okay, that's enough, and then like just
Speaker 2: leaves and I'm like too. It was like it was
Speaker 2: nice a year yeah, and I'm like okay, like literally
Speaker 2: like you love that, Okay, that's enough. Yeah. She was like,
Speaker 2: you took like way too many pictures on my fucking
Speaker 2: phone because.
Speaker 1: You were literally taking a burst on her goddamn I.
Speaker 2: Phone, as I should. People should be thinking me, oh my.
Speaker 1: God, imagine going to take a selfie with like somebody
Speaker 1: famous and your phone has no more storage? Literally, what
Speaker 1: do you do? That has to have happened to somebody
Speaker 1: that probably has for the Ellen selfie guys, dude, where
Speaker 1: we didn't get that fucking selfie.
Speaker 2: Dude, have you seen this new fucking photo with Ellen
Speaker 2: in like all of the celebrities at the Awards Show,
Speaker 2: Like neither of.
Speaker 1: Us can name a single other celebrity or the Award
Speaker 1: Show because as you were doing it, I was like, yeah,
Speaker 1: like waiting for you to say something. I know it's
Speaker 1: l Jennifer Lawrence had to have been like.
Speaker 2: Fatiguan has to be in and the one dude, not
Speaker 2: McConaughey and not pit, but the.
Speaker 1: Other I know it's what we're talking about.
Speaker 2: He was in Limitless?
Speaker 1: Is he in a Starsborn? Oh my god? What is
Speaker 1: his name? Way?
Speaker 2: I really it's like Bradley Cooper, b literally Bradley fucking.
Speaker 1: Cooper, Bradley Cooper. I saw someone the other day saying
Speaker 1: Jennifer Lohan like they were like grouping up every like
Speaker 1: early celebrity. They were like Jennifer Lowhan, but Jennifer Lowhand.
Speaker 2: Should we just get really deep for a second, like,
Speaker 2: do you have anything you want to talk about?
Speaker 1: Absolutely no, because my personal life is crumbling before my
Speaker 1: eyes and it was difficult to get on here and
Speaker 1: be funny.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we weren't going to have an episode this week,
Speaker 2: but ya persevered. She is ironically going through some shit.
Speaker 1: I'm just like literally such a giving and caring person
Speaker 1: and if I'm feeling down, I just want to make
Speaker 1: sure you feel good. She has to do with the
Speaker 1: fact that I don't like myself, so I don't focus
Speaker 1: on myself because I'm scared of myself. So it has
Speaker 1: less to do with my caring for you, but more
Speaker 1: to do with my lack of caring for myself.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's what I was talking about, Like, let's
Speaker 2: get deep, let's talk about some deep shit like that.
Speaker 2: You know what, the mother friend of the group.
Speaker 1: It's crazy hearing someone else from the Philip family say that,
Speaker 1: because that's what your mother says to me. She's always
Speaker 1: saying that. It's so weird you guys think.
Speaker 2: So like, oh wow, this, I just didn't know I
Speaker 2: was gonna be violated like this on the podcast, I'm
Speaker 2: gonna start saying I was violated, and you violated me
Speaker 2: with that comment, Like I.
Speaker 1: Don't like the way that sounds like a really harsh
Speaker 1: finger to point at me. Why just say like I
Speaker 1: was violated by.
Speaker 2: Enya, Like, oh my fucking book, Like you know what I'm.
Speaker 1: Saying, like violated me. I feel like yeah, everybody'd be like,
Speaker 1: oh oh.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe I'm not gonna make that my vote. I'm
Speaker 2: like that. Okay, Well, I got one more thing to
Speaker 2: leave you all off with, and then we'll do media,
Speaker 2: and then we'll move on. Drew sile one more. Don't
Speaker 2: show me anything on the phone anymore. There's nothing I
Speaker 2: need to know that's in the phone. Show me a
Speaker 2: bird's eye and a child's smile.
Speaker 1: I love, like there's something else in the phone.
Speaker 2: Well, I fucked up because it's supposed to read the phone.
Speaker 2: It's supposed to read. Don't show me anything in the
Speaker 2: phone anymore. There's nothing I need to know that's in
Speaker 2: the phone. Show me a bird's eye or a child.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I know that's the way it's supposed to be, but
Speaker 2: I replaced the first in with on.
Speaker 1: It's still in the phone.
Speaker 2: Show me a bird's eye and a child smile.
Speaker 1: Birds lament. All right, let's do media, guys.
Speaker 2: Okay, So I watched a movie today.
Speaker 1: Okay, he's not really happy about it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, A mirror Mine two thousand and five. And the
Speaker 2: only reason I watched this movie was because I saw
Speaker 2: a video of people being like album and a movie
Speaker 2: that compliments it really well or like that carries the
Speaker 2: same energy. And one of my favorite albums ever Byorke's
Speaker 2: best album is Vespertine, And I saw it in the
Speaker 2: list and the person said, this movie Mirror Mind is
Speaker 2: like Vespertine, and I can confirm it gives the same energy.
Speaker 2: Like the sounds in it are really pretty, like it's
Speaker 2: it's a it's really like a mundane movie, but it
Speaker 2: like it's a mixture of like mundane and like how
Speaker 2: to pass time of how to like pass mundane time
Speaker 2: with like spirituality and like how to like how they
Speaker 2: like intertwined. It's really cool. Oh so check it out.
Speaker 2: It's really fucking pretty. Here. Let me show you. I
Speaker 2: was like screen recording it because I was like, look
Speaker 2: at this fucking shot, but like, oh no, no, wait,
Speaker 2: wait wait. And then they just like intercut between sunsets
Speaker 2: and oceans.
Speaker 1: With their it's around criteria.
Speaker 2: No, it's literally on YouTube, so go watch it. It's
Speaker 2: on YouTube two thousand and five. Me your mind. Uh.
Speaker 2: And then my music Yana is actually have a new
Speaker 2: song that I've been listening to. What the hell was
Speaker 2: that sound? Is that our doorbell? Oh?
Speaker 1: Like, there's no way that's the noise it's making.
Speaker 2: The new song is Hannah's Sun by Lomelda. Come on, y'all, like,
Speaker 2: that's a good fucking song. Yeah good, oh so good.
Speaker 2: And then in McDonald's by Burial. If you haven't listened
Speaker 2: to Burial yet, do it classic love love Love, And
Speaker 2: I'm airing out my shit right now, so I'm gonna
Speaker 2: shut the fuck up.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I've been listening to Motamammy Bye Rosalia because
Speaker 1: I never yeah, I never really listened to it like that,
Speaker 1: and then I was like, damn, I'm so bombed. I
Speaker 1: didn't see her live, so I've been listening to that
Speaker 1: album a lot. Only you know by Dion. Everything reminds
Speaker 1: me of her, Elliott Smith, armand Doyley, Maman Sonny and Ebb, Tide,
Speaker 1: Houston and Dorsey.
Speaker 2: This is literally going to be Josh, That's funny. Okay.
Speaker 2: Then last thing I'll lead you guys off with before
Speaker 2: we go is my me canceling my membership. The email
Speaker 2: I sent hello, I want to cancel my membership. The
Speaker 2: sauna is always closed. I was scanned by my last chainer,
Speaker 2: then ignored by the staff once I asked for help,
Speaker 2: and quite frankly, I don't feel safe in the locker room. Also,
Speaker 2: the price point is just also the price point just
Speaker 2: feels outrageous for what you get. Thanks.
Speaker 1: Wow, that was a good read. I love it quite frankly. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and quite frankly like I like.
Speaker 2: When Karen and I don't give a fuck, like suck
Speaker 2: my nuts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the new fall vibe. That's the fall trend.
Speaker 1: List is being a Karen. So next time someone's trying
Speaker 1: to sell you on TikTok shop items, if it's not
Speaker 1: a Karen suited fit, then you don't need it because
Speaker 1: you're angle.
Speaker 2: And you know what I'm talking about. That's the angle.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's exactly it.
Speaker 2: You know what I'm talking about. No, I said, oh,
Speaker 2: I'm going to get a billboard for it.
Speaker 1: Oh that is that.
Speaker 2: There's like an intersection there that people are talking about
Speaker 2: that I'm going to make a commentary on.
Speaker 1: Dude, you say that's the angle, Like I literally was
Speaker 1: freaking me out. I was like, yeah, that is the angle.
Speaker 1: All right, Well, thank you guys for listening. As if
Speaker 1: anybody gives a fuck what I'm going through, I.
Speaker 2: Guess yeah, guys, love yourself, love your family. The nuclear
Speaker 2: family is being destroyed and it's the root of all
Speaker 2: of our problems.
Speaker 1: So like.
Speaker 2: J J, but love yourself.
Speaker 1: Chill, hey, chill, please PA all right and peace.
Speaker 2: And love and unity and respect.
Speaker 1: Bye.
Speaker 2: Mm hmmmmm