1
00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,400
Speaker 1: Hey, kity misconnections.

2
00:00:03,520 --> 00:00:05,480
Speaker 2: That was me staring there's.

3
00:00:05,360 --> 00:00:07,560
Speaker 1: Only two places where you can find true love in

4
00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:10,680
Speaker 1: this world. One is inside the tiny air vent that

5
00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:13,360
Speaker 1: peeks down onto your parents' bedroom on their anniversary.

6
00:00:13,400 --> 00:00:18,040
Speaker 2: Now, oh my gosh, that is disturbing. Better take some notes,

7
00:00:18,239 --> 00:00:20,840
Speaker 2: so do the others.

8
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:25,640
Speaker 1: On the highly respected scholarly website craigslist dot org.

9
00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:26,479
Speaker 2: Yeah, there it is.

10
00:00:26,640 --> 00:00:29,000
Speaker 1: We searched through it every week to find the best

11
00:00:29,080 --> 00:00:32,160
Speaker 1: misconnections it has to offer, like this first one titled

12
00:00:32,640 --> 00:00:36,920
Speaker 1: I heard you screaming at the divorce lawyer's office man

13
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,599
Speaker 1: for a woman forty one?

14
00:00:39,000 --> 00:00:42,320
Speaker 2: Well, at least you know she's single, so or soon

15
00:00:42,360 --> 00:00:42,519
Speaker 2: to be.

16
00:00:43,280 --> 00:00:45,479
Speaker 1: Right, it says I was as I was waiting to

17
00:00:45,520 --> 00:00:48,239
Speaker 1: speak with my attorney. I couldn't help but hear you

18
00:00:48,440 --> 00:00:53,000
Speaker 1: shouting through the conference room plexiglass. You were yelling something

19
00:00:53,040 --> 00:00:56,200
Speaker 1: about how your husband was a Neanderthal moron with a

20
00:00:56,360 --> 00:00:58,080
Speaker 1: tiny venus.

21
00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:00,960
Speaker 2: Yep, that's where it go. You're going to keep it there.

22
00:01:01,080 --> 00:01:04,720
Speaker 1: It was hard to hear, however, it was clear you

23
00:01:04,800 --> 00:01:07,760
Speaker 1: were extremely upset with him for attempting to keep the

24
00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:12,440
Speaker 1: lawn gnomes apparently been in your family for years and

25
00:01:12,600 --> 00:01:17,880
Speaker 1: love them more than your own children. This may sound strange,

26
00:01:17,920 --> 00:01:23,320
Speaker 1: but somehow your primal screaming turned me on. Oh so

27
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:25,640
Speaker 1: I lingered near the door just so I could hear more.

28
00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,040
Speaker 2: He just wants to be berated like her husband.

29
00:01:28,200 --> 00:01:30,320
Speaker 1: That's when my attorney then motioned for me to walk

30
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:33,640
Speaker 1: down the hall to my own fate. When I walked away,

31
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:35,840
Speaker 1: I could faintly hear you yelling about how you wanted

32
00:01:35,880 --> 00:01:42,640
Speaker 1: to destroy his DVD box set of King of Queens. That, yeah,

33
00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:45,640
Speaker 1: Kevin James is amazing. Okay, it's probably a good idea

34
00:01:45,640 --> 00:01:47,480
Speaker 1: to destroy that, even if you're not getting divorced.

35
00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:48,080
Speaker 2: Yeah.

36
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:50,640
Speaker 1: So I don't really know anything about you or your ex,

37
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,800
Speaker 1: but I hope you do burn those DVDs. He doesn't

38
00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:57,560
Speaker 1: deserve a passionate woman like yourself. And I think Kevin

39
00:01:57,640 --> 00:02:01,480
Speaker 1: James would agree with me. Ye, contact to me if

40
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:06,400
Speaker 1: you need to commiserate or consummate or just mate.

41
00:02:07,040 --> 00:02:11,120
Speaker 2: Okay, I kind of like the idea of consummating a divorce.

42
00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:18,040
Speaker 1: Reason greg This next misconnection is titled horse lover dripping

43
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:18,840
Speaker 1: with mystery.

44
00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:21,359
Speaker 2: Ew why we got to use that verb?

45
00:02:21,680 --> 00:02:26,560
Speaker 1: Woman for Man forty three east Side Stables. As I

46
00:02:26,639 --> 00:02:29,600
Speaker 1: walked into the barn, this morning, I saw you eyeing

47
00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:33,960
Speaker 1: the horses with admiration. I casually introduced myself and I

48
00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:37,440
Speaker 1: mentioned I hadn't seen you around here before. That's when

49
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:40,160
Speaker 1: you told me the owners recently employed you as their

50
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:46,200
Speaker 1: horse whisperer. Ah okay, yeah, I was intrigued as you

51
00:02:46,240 --> 00:02:49,960
Speaker 1: walked over to Sebastian ever so gently. Then you revealed

52
00:02:49,960 --> 00:02:52,920
Speaker 1: an apple from somewhere on your body and gave it

53
00:02:52,960 --> 00:03:01,480
Speaker 1: to him. I was impressed. Yeah, was feeding on that crisp,

54
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:05,320
Speaker 1: juicy orb. You leaned in and whispered something into his ear.

55
00:03:05,880 --> 00:03:09,160
Speaker 1: Whatever you said got him all hot and bothered. Oh,

56
00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:12,240
Speaker 1: I haven't seen him get up on two hoofs in years,

57
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:17,360
Speaker 1: Oh whisper.

58
00:03:15,680 --> 00:03:17,640
Speaker 2: I don't know. That's a good reaction or a bad

59
00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:18,880
Speaker 2: reaction from Sebastian.

60
00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:22,320
Speaker 1: Yeah. I had an incredible ride that day, and when

61
00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,840
Speaker 1: I was trotting back to the barn, I witnessed Sebastian

62
00:03:24,919 --> 00:03:29,679
Speaker 1: mounting a philly with authority. Oh oh wow, yea cow

63
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,000
Speaker 1: boy Okay.

64
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,680
Speaker 2: I thought we were going to train the horses to

65
00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:33,919
Speaker 2: do something different.

66
00:03:33,960 --> 00:03:36,760
Speaker 1: But apparently I found out later you were not a

67
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,960
Speaker 1: horse wrisper like you said, but a drifter whoo had

68
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:43,560
Speaker 1: snuck onto the property from midnight WARMINGO.

69
00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:46,880
Speaker 2: Was like, I feel like people don't give horses apples

70
00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:50,200
Speaker 2: because they.

71
00:03:48,720 --> 00:03:51,720
Speaker 1: If you see this, no one thing, whoever you are,

72
00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:55,240
Speaker 1: you have a gift, and that gift is using your

73
00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:58,760
Speaker 1: voice to get animals to mate. Yeah. I was gonna

74
00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:03,480
Speaker 1: say another that's the next superhero and I have the

75
00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:08,880
Speaker 1: same exact gifts. So this next misconnection is titled We

76
00:04:08,920 --> 00:04:12,800
Speaker 1: met at the sleep disorder clinic man for woman thirty three,

77
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:17,880
Speaker 1: me short, dark hair, silver vest, black pants, and told

78
00:04:17,880 --> 00:04:22,040
Speaker 1: you I was fighting off night terrors.

79
00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:20,479
Speaker 2: Oh, but.

80
00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:23,760
Speaker 1: That's ever happened to you? Guys were like two three

81
00:04:23,839 --> 00:04:27,880
Speaker 1: nights in a row. You're just constantly. You also had

82
00:04:28,200 --> 00:04:31,719
Speaker 1: dark hair, ponytail, wearing tan shorts, and dealing with high

83
00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:32,760
Speaker 1: grade narcolepsy.

84
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:35,960
Speaker 2: Ah wow, So how much of the conversation did she hear?

85
00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,040
Speaker 1: Over the next five minutes, we shared sleep disorder stories

86
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:49,000
Speaker 1: and giggled like school children. I don't know, sometimes I

87
00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:56,000
Speaker 1: wake up screaming like sometimes he goes on. When you

88
00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,400
Speaker 1: told me you fell asleep at the DMV four times

89
00:04:58,400 --> 00:04:59,960
Speaker 1: while they tried to take your license picture.

90
00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:03,599
Speaker 2: Wow, I'm going to say that's understandable. But during the picture.

91
00:05:03,839 --> 00:05:05,520
Speaker 2: I don't know.

92
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,640
Speaker 1: I lo o led so hard I almost tootored. Oh

93
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:13,240
Speaker 1: Man writes in parentheses, Okay, to be honest, I actually did.

94
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:16,520
Speaker 2: Okay, sneak out.

95
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:20,400
Speaker 1: Why would you share that at one point you really

96
00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:23,560
Speaker 1: did not off during one of my stories. But that's okay.

97
00:05:23,600 --> 00:05:27,120
Speaker 1: I wasn't offended. I know with one hundred percent positivity.

98
00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,279
Speaker 1: My story wasn't boring. It was just your condition.

99
00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:33,600
Speaker 2: That's just keep telling yourself that. Buddy.

100
00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:37,080
Speaker 1: Sure you don't know this, but as you were in dreamland,

101
00:05:37,279 --> 00:05:39,120
Speaker 1: I took a picture of you with my phone as

102
00:05:39,160 --> 00:05:43,320
Speaker 1: you drove on a pile of doctors magazines. As I

103
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:49,320
Speaker 1: gently shook you, you screamed. Where am I? I smiled

104
00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:51,640
Speaker 1: and thought to myself, I always wanted to be with

105
00:05:51,680 --> 00:05:52,240
Speaker 1: a screamer.

106
00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:55,400
Speaker 2: Okay, she was terrified, sir.

107
00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:59,240
Speaker 1: That's when the nurse called your name, and I never

108
00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:03,040
Speaker 1: saw you again. I'm hoping someday I can find someone

109
00:06:03,160 --> 00:06:06,400
Speaker 1: like you who understands me, and maybe if I learned

110
00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:08,720
Speaker 1: to trust you, I'll let you chain me to the

111
00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:12,239
Speaker 1: bed so I don't hurt others.

112
00:06:12,320 --> 00:06:15,480
Speaker 2: How did we get there? He was talking about farts

113
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:16,320
Speaker 2: two seconds ago.

114
00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:21,039
Speaker 1: The night terror is apparently really bad. Yeah that's signed Diggle.

115
00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:25,640
Speaker 2: It's not a name you're going to be screaming out

116
00:06:25,800 --> 00:06:30,080
Speaker 2: to the Sexy Way, No.

117
00:06:29,600 --> 00:06:34,000
Speaker 1: No challenge exception. Those are your Craigslist misconnections. Your phone

118
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,760
Speaker 1: tap is coming up next