1 00:00:03,320 --> 00:00:09,200 Speaker 1: Hey, guys, we're back for our second episode two Jersey Jays. 2 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:13,440 Speaker 2: I'm Jackie Goldschneider. I'm Jen Fessler. Guys. We're so excited 3 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:14,680 Speaker 2: our first podcast. 4 00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:18,079 Speaker 3: I mean, we are so grateful, first of all, for 5 00:00:18,160 --> 00:00:19,960 Speaker 3: you guys for listening. 6 00:00:20,280 --> 00:00:22,800 Speaker 2: It's it's so well, we love you guys. Thank you. 7 00:00:23,120 --> 00:00:26,599 Speaker 3: I keep saying like it's I'm so grateful to my bowel. 8 00:00:26,800 --> 00:00:28,320 Speaker 3: I feel like that was actually. 9 00:00:28,040 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 2: Jenn's impacted bowel took one for the team. The bowel 10 00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,640 Speaker 2: heard around the world. Yeah, yeah, how was that bowel done? 11 00:00:35,760 --> 00:00:36,800 Speaker 2: It's oh, you know something. 12 00:00:36,920 --> 00:00:40,400 Speaker 3: I It's funny because I got so many phone calls 13 00:00:40,600 --> 00:00:43,040 Speaker 3: and so many texts from people concerned about me. 14 00:00:43,080 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 2: I guess I didn't. 15 00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:47,919 Speaker 3: I wasn't clear that I was like miss the incident 16 00:00:48,000 --> 00:00:50,280 Speaker 3: in the hospital was months and months ago. 17 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:52,000 Speaker 2: But it was actually really nice. 18 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:53,680 Speaker 3: I'm like getting calls from people I went to sleep 19 00:00:53,680 --> 00:00:56,440 Speaker 3: away camp with You're like, you know, I'm sorry, Hi, Jen, 20 00:00:56,480 --> 00:00:58,800 Speaker 3: I know we haven't talked in thirty years, but are 21 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:00,000 Speaker 3: you okay? 22 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 2: I think that people would be so concerned about your content. Yes, 23 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 2: that was very it was actually very heart warming. But 24 00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:09,199 Speaker 2: he really do give a share. They look at. 25 00:01:10,680 --> 00:01:12,920 Speaker 3: It was really nice, and but I did want to 26 00:01:12,920 --> 00:01:15,400 Speaker 3: sort of like emphasize that it happened a long time ago, 27 00:01:15,520 --> 00:01:17,520 Speaker 3: a long time ago, but months and months, and that 28 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,520 Speaker 3: it has not happened since because I have been doing 29 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:24,560 Speaker 3: as directed and chugging my water and taking my mir 30 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:27,760 Speaker 3: relax and eating broccoli when I have to. 31 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 2: That's good. 32 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:32,399 Speaker 1: But anyway, but we were we were just at jingle Ball. 33 00:01:32,440 --> 00:01:35,440 Speaker 2: Did you have fun? I mean it was amazing. No, 34 00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:36,399 Speaker 2: it was so cool. 35 00:01:36,520 --> 00:01:39,600 Speaker 1: Forget like Share, I mean, how is Share in her? 36 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:42,399 Speaker 1: What is she in her seventies right is? And she 37 00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:47,039 Speaker 1: looks so good and like it has more like dance 38 00:01:47,120 --> 00:01:49,760 Speaker 1: moves than any twenty year old I know, Like she's 39 00:01:49,800 --> 00:01:52,120 Speaker 1: just like seventy is fifty? 40 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 2: Is it that makes us? I don't know. My mom's 41 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,760 Speaker 2: in her seventies, She's she's pretty seventies she is, Yeah. 42 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 3: My mom is eighty one years old. She runs from 43 00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,640 Speaker 3: five to eight miles a day. That's a fact. She's 44 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,040 Speaker 3: like they call it like a superager. She is with 45 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:11,600 Speaker 3: like weights on her wrists. She's it's she's so much more. 46 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,760 Speaker 3: She's so much more busy than I am. She is 47 00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:20,200 Speaker 3: between majohn running in her my god, you have no idea. 48 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:25,639 Speaker 3: She is like over the top and so much more 49 00:02:25,639 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 3: in shape than I am. She stays up until I 50 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,720 Speaker 3: don't know eleven, I'm like in bed by nine thirty. 51 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 2: Wow. 52 00:02:31,400 --> 00:02:33,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm in my eighties. I think I want to 53 00:02:33,080 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 1: catch up on every single movie I've never seen. 54 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:39,520 Speaker 3: I'm already I want to move. Yeah, I don't move now. 55 00:02:39,720 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 1: So guys, we have got you know, we got to 56 00:02:43,360 --> 00:02:47,600 Speaker 1: outdo our first episode and it more outrageous. 57 00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's only one way to do that. Talk about sex. 58 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:55,280 Speaker 2: Talk about sex, baby, No, but really, let's talk about sex. 59 00:02:55,639 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 1: I mean, because you know what, there's a lot of 60 00:02:57,600 --> 00:02:59,960 Speaker 1: talk about sex on these housewives shows, and I don't 61 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:01,280 Speaker 1: I don't really think that. 62 00:03:01,280 --> 00:03:07,640 Speaker 3: It's that accurates. Well, it's not for me. I mean 63 00:03:07,680 --> 00:03:10,520 Speaker 3: in terms of what I hear and the way that 64 00:03:10,680 --> 00:03:13,800 Speaker 3: sex is described. And I don't know if you know, 65 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:18,079 Speaker 3: certainly like as you get older, sex changes, as your 66 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:21,520 Speaker 3: body changes, as your relationships change. 67 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:22,440 Speaker 2: But I don't. 68 00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,760 Speaker 3: I tend to not really identify with a lot of 69 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:28,720 Speaker 3: what I hear. Yeah, not just a Housewives, but you 70 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:31,760 Speaker 3: know whatever other TV shows. I relate a lot to 71 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:34,400 Speaker 3: my friends when we talk about it. You know, in 72 00:03:34,440 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 3: a casual way and describe sex where sort of the 73 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,360 Speaker 3: same points in our lives when it comes to it. 74 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 3: But I don't relate to a lot of what I 75 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:46,720 Speaker 3: hear from housewives and celebrities. 76 00:03:46,240 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 1: Right well, a lot of people on these shows imply 77 00:03:50,240 --> 00:03:54,560 Speaker 1: that they have sex like multiple times of weeks, Like 78 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:58,000 Speaker 1: they're pulling each other into closets when the kids are 79 00:03:58,080 --> 00:04:01,800 Speaker 1: like in the room next door, and like they're having 80 00:04:01,840 --> 00:04:05,280 Speaker 1: sex everywhere, and like, you know, the reason why I 81 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 1: have beef with it is because it makes you feel 82 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,480 Speaker 1: like there's something wrong with you, you know, Like a 83 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,720 Speaker 1: lot of times I'll be listening to these conversations and 84 00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:16,360 Speaker 1: I'll say to myself, God, I love my husband so much, 85 00:04:16,440 --> 00:04:18,279 Speaker 1: but like, what's wrong with me that I'm not, like, 86 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:22,760 Speaker 1: you know, ripping him into a closet, like you know, 87 00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:26,680 Speaker 1: between like you know, afternoon sports, driving and like dinner. 88 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:28,720 Speaker 3: I mean, I don't think I was ever like that, 89 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:32,560 Speaker 3: to be quite honest with you, even as a younger person, 90 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,200 Speaker 3: when I was in my twenties and I guess my 91 00:04:36,240 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 3: late teens when I started having sex, but I was 92 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:42,480 Speaker 3: I never felt like I couldn't wait for the sex 93 00:04:42,839 --> 00:04:46,240 Speaker 3: and truth be told when I was younger, the only 94 00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:50,240 Speaker 3: thing that was on my mind during sex was pleasing 95 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,200 Speaker 3: the guy because I was and you and I have. 96 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:55,600 Speaker 2: Spoken about this in your book. 97 00:04:55,600 --> 00:04:59,160 Speaker 3: I was always so desperate for a man's attention and 98 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:06,320 Speaker 3: you know, just looking for intimacy and wanting to connect 99 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,839 Speaker 3: with a guy. And my way of doing that it 100 00:05:09,880 --> 00:05:12,360 Speaker 3: didn't work, to be quite honest with you, but was 101 00:05:12,600 --> 00:05:14,800 Speaker 3: to please them. And I was not in touch at 102 00:05:14,839 --> 00:05:19,600 Speaker 3: all with my body or what I wanted probably. I mean, 103 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:23,720 Speaker 3: I met Jeff when I was twenty nine, but you know, really, 104 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:27,760 Speaker 3: until I was relaxed enough and trusted someone enough to 105 00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,440 Speaker 3: be interested in my own wants and desires. 106 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:31,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, I got to tell you. 107 00:05:31,600 --> 00:05:34,640 Speaker 1: I think that that's one of the reasons why I 108 00:05:34,720 --> 00:05:38,560 Speaker 1: hate blowjobs so much, is because when I was younger, 109 00:05:38,680 --> 00:05:41,560 Speaker 1: like way before I was married, I was so interested 110 00:05:41,600 --> 00:05:43,640 Speaker 1: in like just pleasing a guy so they would like 111 00:05:43,680 --> 00:05:46,760 Speaker 1: me that I gave so many times. I'm sorry, Dad, 112 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 1: if you're listening, but I give you kids, or quite 113 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:53,760 Speaker 1: a few blowjobs to guys who buttoned up their pants 114 00:05:53,800 --> 00:05:55,039 Speaker 1: and then never looked at me again. 115 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:55,520 Speaker 2: Me too. 116 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:59,080 Speaker 1: And I think maybe like there's some kind of dramatic 117 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,479 Speaker 1: attachment to a low job for you. 118 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I see that. I just don't like them. Yeah, 119 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:07,320 Speaker 2: I mean maybe it's a whole. 120 00:06:07,839 --> 00:06:12,599 Speaker 3: But I always tell Rachel my daughter, and she will 121 00:06:12,600 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 3: only talk to me, you know, to a point in 122 00:06:15,040 --> 00:06:18,560 Speaker 3: terms of sex. But I hope that whatever she's doing, 123 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 3: she is doing what makes her feel good, not just 124 00:06:23,120 --> 00:06:26,839 Speaker 3: what makes a guy feel good, right, and and that 125 00:06:26,880 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 3: she's with somebody who actually gives a shit about her pleasure. 126 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:34,640 Speaker 3: Because we bond over this now, you and I like 127 00:06:34,680 --> 00:06:37,240 Speaker 3: so many other things. All I cared about was that 128 00:06:37,279 --> 00:06:39,120 Speaker 3: they would come back for more. Yes, which is a 129 00:06:39,240 --> 00:06:41,320 Speaker 3: sad one hundred but okay. 130 00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:44,520 Speaker 1: So on these shows, a lot of people talk about 131 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:47,480 Speaker 1: all the sex they're having all the time. Several of 132 00:06:47,520 --> 00:06:51,359 Speaker 1: our own cast members talk about having it every morning, 133 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 1: four times a day, you know, and like, more power 134 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:54,520 Speaker 1: to them. 135 00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:55,200 Speaker 2: If that's true. 136 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,000 Speaker 1: But I will tell you there have been a lot 137 00:06:57,000 --> 00:07:00,680 Speaker 1: of studies on this, and the leading studies so that 138 00:07:01,920 --> 00:07:05,760 Speaker 1: women are age you know, middle aged, you know, forties, fifties, 139 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,600 Speaker 1: married couples, you're having sex once a week. 140 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,880 Speaker 3: That's you know, it's hard with this to like, I 141 00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,960 Speaker 3: want to be as honest as possible in his open 142 00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:19,000 Speaker 3: wall still, you know, protecting my family and my husband. Yes, 143 00:07:19,080 --> 00:07:22,160 Speaker 3: and so it's hard to give intimate details. But I 144 00:07:22,160 --> 00:07:25,800 Speaker 3: will say this, that's a lot to me. That's just 145 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:31,320 Speaker 3: being honest. I'm my sex drive is it was never crazy. 146 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 3: I never had a huge sex drive. From being honest. 147 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:38,800 Speaker 3: But Jeff is sixty one, you know, I'm fifty five, 148 00:07:39,400 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 3: and we are empty nesters. Well you know, so sort 149 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:45,720 Speaker 3: of like our kids now are back and forth. But anyway, 150 00:07:46,480 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 3: but it's still I don't have that. It doesn't even 151 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:53,440 Speaker 3: occur to me once a week necessarily, maybe once every 152 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:54,280 Speaker 3: couple of weeks. 153 00:07:54,280 --> 00:07:55,320 Speaker 2: What does he say about it? 154 00:07:56,720 --> 00:08:01,560 Speaker 3: Listen, if he, Jeff wants to have sex, I and 155 00:08:01,600 --> 00:08:06,400 Speaker 3: he does more than I do. I want to do 156 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:11,080 Speaker 3: to you know, satisfy him, and so I'm more I'm 157 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:11,880 Speaker 3: open to it. 158 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:17,040 Speaker 2: I just it doesn't occur to me right, And I 159 00:08:17,080 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 2: don't know it's you do. 160 00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 3: Hear so so much talk, there's so much talk of 161 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,520 Speaker 3: how important sex is. Even you know, when I go 162 00:08:26,520 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 3: to my gynecologist by he put me on estrogen and 163 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 3: now I'm taking even estrogen pellets which are stronger than 164 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:36,960 Speaker 3: I guess the cream that my doctor prescribed. And once 165 00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,320 Speaker 3: he did he say to it? He said, to me, 166 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 3: you know, is your is it increased your sex drive? 167 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,360 Speaker 3: Is your sex drive better? Because I had, you know, 168 00:08:42,960 --> 00:08:45,880 Speaker 3: I had spoken with him about the fact that it's low, 169 00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:49,680 Speaker 3: and I was almost embarrassed. I was like, not really, 170 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:56,000 Speaker 3: and you know, is that not healthy physically? Emotionally? I 171 00:08:56,000 --> 00:09:00,839 Speaker 3: feel like for me, sex is pleasurable, important, but it's 172 00:09:00,880 --> 00:09:03,880 Speaker 3: not the most intimate thing that I share with Jeff. 173 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:05,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, there's other there are. 174 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:09,880 Speaker 1: So many other things that for me feel intimate, right, Okay, 175 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:12,880 Speaker 1: I understand that. I mean I do have on average 176 00:09:13,440 --> 00:09:17,680 Speaker 1: once sometimes twice a week, but definitely not more than that. Yeah, 177 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,319 Speaker 1: you know, I mean I think that's a really unrealistic, 178 00:09:21,040 --> 00:09:23,520 Speaker 1: you know, picture of what a healthy sex life looks like. 179 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 3: When I'm with friends out to dinner, I'll get a 180 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,720 Speaker 3: lot of uh, you know, buy the end of the 181 00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:33,800 Speaker 3: meal or whatever. Like someone will inevitably say one of 182 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:37,080 Speaker 3: the women will inevitably say, you know, shit, he's gonna 183 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:38,760 Speaker 3: want Like shit. 184 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:41,000 Speaker 2: I know he's gonna want tonight. He's totally okay. 185 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:43,559 Speaker 1: I would have dinner once and I ordered a dish 186 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,679 Speaker 1: with onions on it, and one of the women at 187 00:09:45,679 --> 00:09:48,720 Speaker 1: my table looked at me and she was like, oh, 188 00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:52,480 Speaker 1: she's like, somebody's not gonna want it tonight. And I 189 00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,480 Speaker 1: said to her, because I'm eating onions, like I can 190 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 1: eat out of the toilet bowl, and he would. 191 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:00,560 Speaker 3: Still want it tonight, right, Well, listen, And it's I 192 00:10:00,559 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 3: think a lot of women feel like because their husbands 193 00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:10,480 Speaker 3: or their partners are so interested in it more often 194 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:13,440 Speaker 3: that it becomes an obligation. 195 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:15,000 Speaker 2: Right. 196 00:10:15,520 --> 00:10:17,160 Speaker 3: You know, I have a lot of friends who say 197 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,920 Speaker 3: that their husband take it every day, multiple times a day. 198 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:20,200 Speaker 1: Yeah. 199 00:10:20,280 --> 00:10:24,640 Speaker 3: Right, So I wonder and I think about this sometimes 200 00:10:24,920 --> 00:10:28,240 Speaker 3: as a wife, you know, with I have such a 201 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:32,200 Speaker 3: wonderful husband who is so good to me and so 202 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,440 Speaker 3: good to our children and such a hard worker. And 203 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 3: he again like he's not a twenty year old right, 204 00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:40,920 Speaker 3: thank god, because his I don't want to talk too 205 00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,160 Speaker 3: much about his sex drive. But it's not what a 206 00:10:43,200 --> 00:10:46,280 Speaker 3: twenty year old, friends is. But is it for men 207 00:10:46,559 --> 00:10:53,480 Speaker 3: almost like a physical pain or they need it. 208 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,760 Speaker 2: Like they need it? What is the mean that you 209 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:55,800 Speaker 2: need it? Well? 210 00:10:55,960 --> 00:11:00,280 Speaker 3: I picture and again like that's why when you know, 211 00:11:00,559 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 3: when Jeff's in the mood, I even if I'm not 212 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:08,719 Speaker 3: in the mood, I want to please him and not 213 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,640 Speaker 3: be I mean, I don't want to be. Maybe I 214 00:11:10,679 --> 00:11:13,800 Speaker 3: hope this is not like anti feminist, but it's just 215 00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:15,959 Speaker 3: the truth. I love him and if he's in the mood, 216 00:11:16,040 --> 00:11:18,720 Speaker 3: and even if I'm not, I do want to, you know, 217 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:24,040 Speaker 3: make him feel good. And but I wonder if for 218 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:30,199 Speaker 3: men it's almost like so uncomfortable to not have sex and. 219 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:33,200 Speaker 1: Oh no, see this is what I wonder. Also is 220 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 1: it like are you in physical pain? I don't think so. 221 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,840 Speaker 1: But also like longing like those well you know what, 222 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:41,120 Speaker 1: like go in the bathroom and jack off. 223 00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:43,280 Speaker 3: They but that's not what so many men want, and 224 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,480 Speaker 3: I wonder why. Also, like isn't an orgasm? 225 00:11:45,559 --> 00:11:47,960 Speaker 2: Is orgasm? Does it really like right? You know? 226 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,960 Speaker 3: And then there are I hear stories from my friends 227 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,360 Speaker 3: as well that it's not enough just to have sex, 228 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:53,560 Speaker 3: like it has to be an ordeal. 229 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,720 Speaker 2: It should be yeah, to be like an hour. 230 00:11:56,720 --> 00:12:00,280 Speaker 3: Long, an hour long, yes that's time for that me, 231 00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:05,199 Speaker 3: but an hour long, you know, for play. And I 232 00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:08,199 Speaker 3: don't know, I couldn't. I could not deal with that. 233 00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:10,040 Speaker 3: And I know a lot of women love that. I mean, 234 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,360 Speaker 3: I'm not saying not all women are like me that 235 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:18,079 Speaker 3: you know, are not interested in it many. 236 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:18,959 Speaker 2: Times a week, a day. 237 00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 3: I don't know, but this is just my friends and 238 00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:23,560 Speaker 3: the way that I feel, and it's not a priority 239 00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:26,360 Speaker 3: and certainly like not to. 240 00:12:27,800 --> 00:12:29,560 Speaker 2: Like do it for an. 241 00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 3: Hour and no, no, no, no, what about like toys 242 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 3: and lingerie? 243 00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:39,120 Speaker 2: Are you guys into that kind of stuff? No, so 244 00:12:39,760 --> 00:12:41,000 Speaker 2: definitely not lingerie. 245 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:43,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely not lingerie for me either, And I feel 246 00:12:43,600 --> 00:12:47,280 Speaker 1: like that's like misrepresented too. You have these women who 247 00:12:47,360 --> 00:12:49,320 Speaker 1: walk out of the bathroom in like a garter and 248 00:12:49,400 --> 00:12:51,400 Speaker 1: like something up their ass. 249 00:12:51,520 --> 00:12:55,160 Speaker 2: I don't know, something up there, ac No, not like 250 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 2: a dildo. 251 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,480 Speaker 1: I mean like a thong, you know, like a lash 252 00:12:58,480 --> 00:13:01,000 Speaker 1: thong and like missing pieces in the nipple story. 253 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:01,439 Speaker 2: Nothing. 254 00:13:01,600 --> 00:13:04,920 Speaker 3: I'm not like, I'm not that into that. I mean, listen, 255 00:13:05,120 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 3: I love a good vibrator. 256 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:07,040 Speaker 2: Is that a toy? 257 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,200 Speaker 3: That's just a necessary part of life? I feel like 258 00:13:09,240 --> 00:13:12,319 Speaker 3: for me, for me, I don't know. Listen, Jackie's getting like. 259 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:14,440 Speaker 1: Yeah, I gotta tell you a jenn is so much 260 00:13:14,480 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 1: more comfortable talking about like the real intimate Like we 261 00:13:19,520 --> 00:13:21,880 Speaker 1: we have a you know, we were talking about what 262 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,800 Speaker 1: we might discuss and she was like, let's talk about masturbation. 263 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:27,160 Speaker 1: I was like, I think I turned like a whiter 264 00:13:27,240 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 1: shade of pil I was. I didn't know what to say. 265 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 1: I don't know why I have. 266 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:34,319 Speaker 3: I don't know if I maybe when I was younger 267 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,800 Speaker 3: like that, even that word, I would just bristle, you know. 268 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the way I am still to right, But no, 269 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,760 Speaker 2: not anymore. I certainly don't feel like that anymore. And 270 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:46,800 Speaker 2: I also, you know, having two older kids when they 271 00:13:46,800 --> 00:13:50,000 Speaker 2: were younger, maybe even the age of your kids, I 272 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:54,200 Speaker 2: remember having discussions with them talking about how it was 273 00:13:54,320 --> 00:13:56,600 Speaker 2: natural and they should never feel shame around it, that 274 00:13:56,679 --> 00:14:01,679 Speaker 2: it's appropriate, you know, when they know that they're they're 275 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,400 Speaker 2: in a private setting. 276 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,160 Speaker 1: You said that to your kids, Yes, oh my god. 277 00:14:06,240 --> 00:14:08,640 Speaker 1: If my mother said that to me, I would. 278 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,679 Speaker 3: Scream at her, no, don't anyway, Well, listen, I remember 279 00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:15,480 Speaker 3: being the age, maybe in my teens, right, and I 280 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:18,520 Speaker 3: would like lock myself in the bathroom for ever, and 281 00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:21,240 Speaker 3: when i'd come out, I know you're laughing, I would, 282 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:24,160 Speaker 3: And I remember like I would feel shame around it. 283 00:14:24,320 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 3: I don't remember the whys or felt like I was, 284 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 3: you know, in some way doing something wrong. And I 285 00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:34,240 Speaker 3: just never wanted my kids I feel that way. Yeah, 286 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:36,880 Speaker 3: I never felt like that, you know, I mean I 287 00:14:36,920 --> 00:14:38,000 Speaker 3: definitely did, but I. 288 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,760 Speaker 1: Always did feel like it was like a dirty little secret. 289 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, no, I mean it's it's just part of 290 00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:47,480 Speaker 3: I think, being human. 291 00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:47,800 Speaker 2: Right. 292 00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:59,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, So, like your kids are home for the holidays, 293 00:14:59,560 --> 00:15:02,880 Speaker 1: now I have four teenagers in my house, Like, it's 294 00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 1: just not realistic for us to close the door and 295 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:09,040 Speaker 1: have a clique because my kids will hear it, and 296 00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:11,440 Speaker 1: they're not stupid, they know all about sex, and like 297 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:14,480 Speaker 1: I won't be able to relax knowing that they could 298 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 1: be hearing us. Well, it happened to us for sure. 299 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:21,080 Speaker 3: When this is obviously going back years ago, and I 300 00:15:21,080 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 3: didn't realize that I was making a little bit too 301 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:29,280 Speaker 3: much noise, and all of a sudden, like my daughter 302 00:15:29,320 --> 00:15:32,840 Speaker 3: started screaming how old was she about teens? 303 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,880 Speaker 2: I mean maybe okay, early teens. 304 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 3: It was a mistake. And we don't have doors on 305 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:39,680 Speaker 3: our bedroom that lock. We have like glass double doors, 306 00:15:40,320 --> 00:15:46,200 Speaker 3: and she was like traumatized and furious, and she's like, 307 00:15:46,840 --> 00:15:48,880 Speaker 3: how could you how could you let me hear that? 308 00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,320 Speaker 2: And I understand that of course it. 309 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:54,880 Speaker 3: Must have been just like you know, so just awkward 310 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:59,240 Speaker 3: at best, traumatizing at worst, but it happened. And the 311 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,480 Speaker 3: truth is, I did say to myself, I don't know 312 00:16:01,600 --> 00:16:05,160 Speaker 3: if it I hope it didn't, like, you know, actually 313 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 3: like traumatize her for real. But it's she should know 314 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:14,120 Speaker 3: that her parents are human and adults and sexual beings, 315 00:16:14,240 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 3: and I'll want that for her when she gets older. 316 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I didn't understand a lot of things. 317 00:16:19,280 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, you know, my dad next 318 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,560 Speaker 1: to his bed, he had a dresser and the bottom 319 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,320 Speaker 1: of the dresser it was a playbook. 320 00:16:27,320 --> 00:16:28,720 Speaker 2: I knew you were going to say that. I always 321 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 2: used to go right. I always used to look at it. 322 00:16:32,040 --> 00:16:33,280 Speaker 2: I remember the women. 323 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,880 Speaker 1: There was one who was totally naked dressed where she 324 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:40,880 Speaker 1: was sitting in like a forest with snow all over 325 00:16:40,920 --> 00:16:43,960 Speaker 1: the place. That she was wearing a huge white fur 326 00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:46,720 Speaker 1: coat and she was completely naked underneath in the like 327 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:49,080 Speaker 1: spread eagle. And I remember I always used to look 328 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:52,080 Speaker 1: at that picture and be like, why isn't she dressed? 329 00:16:52,240 --> 00:16:53,920 Speaker 2: It's so snowy, and like. 330 00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:57,120 Speaker 1: When I got older and I realized why my dad 331 00:16:57,120 --> 00:16:59,240 Speaker 1: had that magazine next to his bedside, I was like, 332 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:02,120 Speaker 1: which those pages all time? 333 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,879 Speaker 3: I remember, well used to look I absolutely did find 334 00:17:06,600 --> 00:17:10,040 Speaker 3: playboys and I have had we're the one step father, 335 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:14,320 Speaker 3: and so I would always find Playboy and it also 336 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:17,280 Speaker 3: like turned me on. I remember bringing it into the 337 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:24,720 Speaker 3: bathroom with me, you know, and just probably feeling shame 338 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:28,199 Speaker 3: around that as well. And it's interesting now like that 339 00:17:28,320 --> 00:17:30,480 Speaker 3: sort of leads into I guess a discussion a little 340 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:31,679 Speaker 3: bit about porn. 341 00:17:32,480 --> 00:17:34,200 Speaker 2: And I don't mind born. 342 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:39,119 Speaker 3: Yeah, well I don't mind it either. I enjoy it. 343 00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:44,040 Speaker 3: It's not on a daily but yeah, I mean like 344 00:17:44,800 --> 00:17:47,560 Speaker 3: if we're away, it turns me on, you know, just 345 00:17:47,640 --> 00:17:50,600 Speaker 3: being in a hotel room. This is so so hard 346 00:17:50,640 --> 00:17:54,680 Speaker 3: to navigate, like what's TMI and what's just honesty? 347 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:55,080 Speaker 2: Right? 348 00:17:55,119 --> 00:17:56,960 Speaker 1: Well, I think if you think that other people could 349 00:17:56,960 --> 00:18:00,480 Speaker 1: relate to it and normalizes something that's a little bit taboo, 350 00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:04,159 Speaker 1: then a lot of people talk about enjoying porn, especially 351 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:06,960 Speaker 1: I don't talk about growing porn with any of my girlfriends. 352 00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:10,520 Speaker 2: Well now you do, oh with you? Yes? Welcome, welcome. 353 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 3: I don't know, like whatever makes you feel good, right, 354 00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,560 Speaker 3: I kind of feel like if it turns you on, 355 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:20,919 Speaker 3: then maybe it's for me it works. It's I don't know, 356 00:18:21,400 --> 00:18:22,680 Speaker 3: and I know there's a lot wrong. A lot of 357 00:18:22,680 --> 00:18:24,960 Speaker 3: people feel a lot of my friends feel like porn. 358 00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:31,359 Speaker 3: They catch their husbands or significant others watching. They don't 359 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 3: feel good about it, They feel sort of betrayed. So 360 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,160 Speaker 3: can I ask you a question obviously if. 361 00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:38,479 Speaker 1: You don't need to answer, if you don't feel comfortable, Okay, 362 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,920 Speaker 1: you and your husband separated at one point, yes, okay. 363 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:45,240 Speaker 2: Well for a year? Why do we separate? Yeah? 364 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:48,080 Speaker 3: I talked about this on the show, but for those 365 00:18:48,119 --> 00:18:51,680 Speaker 3: of you who didn't watch, the very quick version is 366 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:56,000 Speaker 3: that there was infidelity and we were about seven years 367 00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:59,120 Speaker 3: in so, like, it's so cliche, right, the seven year 368 00:18:59,160 --> 00:19:03,480 Speaker 3: itch and I think that we were both sort of 369 00:19:03,560 --> 00:19:04,960 Speaker 3: checked out of the marriage at that point. 370 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:07,440 Speaker 1: And okay, so it didn't have to do with your 371 00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:10,040 Speaker 1: sex life all, you had a healthy sex life. 372 00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:12,639 Speaker 3: I mean, that's a great question. I don't think we 373 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:15,919 Speaker 3: were connecting in any way. So if we weren't, you know, 374 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:22,280 Speaker 3: connecting mentally or physically or emotionally, that was probably at 375 00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:26,880 Speaker 3: the root of it. And so there was infidelity on 376 00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:29,919 Speaker 3: both of our parts. 377 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:33,199 Speaker 2: And I don't but I know, I don't. It was 378 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:34,399 Speaker 2: not for me about sex. 379 00:19:35,040 --> 00:19:37,600 Speaker 3: We weren't connecting, but it was not for me about 380 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,320 Speaker 3: the sex is not good and I'm going to find 381 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:40,960 Speaker 3: it somewhere else. 382 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,320 Speaker 2: It wasn't about that at all. 383 00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:48,840 Speaker 1: So when so there was infidelity and then while you 384 00:19:48,840 --> 00:19:51,520 Speaker 1: were separated, you were with somebody. 385 00:19:51,160 --> 00:19:53,960 Speaker 2: Else more than one person, more than one person. 386 00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,520 Speaker 1: Multiple, We're like, how did that feel? Because then you 387 00:19:56,560 --> 00:19:58,560 Speaker 1: eventually ended up getting back together. How long was the 388 00:19:58,600 --> 00:20:02,600 Speaker 1: separation out? A year? Yeah, so you had multiple partners. 389 00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:06,439 Speaker 1: Was it different? Did you feel more like you wanted 390 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 1: to have sex with them because they were new and 391 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:10,159 Speaker 1: a new body? 392 00:20:10,280 --> 00:20:12,560 Speaker 3: I mean you would think so, right, Yeah, I mean 393 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,320 Speaker 3: I And again I mean I'm just just go I 394 00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:17,960 Speaker 3: think I do have that like is there something wrong 395 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,520 Speaker 3: with me or is it from trauma in my childhood 396 00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,080 Speaker 3: that I can't connect with my body enough to really 397 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:28,040 Speaker 3: like enjoy sex the way I hear that so many 398 00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:28,480 Speaker 3: women do. 399 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,440 Speaker 2: But anyway, No. 400 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,080 Speaker 3: Yes, of course, it was exciting to be with someone 401 00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,440 Speaker 3: new after being married for seven years. 402 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:37,159 Speaker 2: But again. 403 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:40,600 Speaker 3: It was not I don't think it ever was about 404 00:20:40,600 --> 00:20:43,680 Speaker 3: the sex. If anything, the sex was the least of it. 405 00:20:43,680 --> 00:20:45,200 Speaker 2: It was just. 406 00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:48,280 Speaker 3: About the connection, Like it was about the first kiss. 407 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:53,280 Speaker 3: It was about you know, the laying naked and being intimate. 408 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:56,480 Speaker 3: But no, for me, it wasn't about like, Okay, you know, 409 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:57,760 Speaker 3: so this is what I've. 410 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:58,880 Speaker 2: Been missing, not at all. 411 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:03,120 Speaker 1: Okay, all right, And did your sex life change after 412 00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:04,439 Speaker 1: you and Jeff got back together? 413 00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:11,560 Speaker 2: No, no, I'm gonna say no. Listen, and it's not it. 414 00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:15,520 Speaker 3: We have always had a wonderful connection. 415 00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:16,720 Speaker 2: I like to be close to Jeff. 416 00:21:16,840 --> 00:21:21,520 Speaker 3: I want to be like even just at night when 417 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:25,159 Speaker 3: we are sleeping, I sometimes will just hick him and 418 00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,639 Speaker 3: wake him up just so I can just hear his boy. 419 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,560 Speaker 3: He doesn't love that or like you can just like 420 00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,440 Speaker 3: go like like move over closer, or I just want 421 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:37,160 Speaker 3: to like hold his hand, makes me feel safe, and 422 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:43,000 Speaker 3: he turns me on in more ways like than just sexually. Right, 423 00:21:43,119 --> 00:21:46,679 Speaker 3: It's like, I don't know, he's just I like his body. 424 00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:47,720 Speaker 3: I like the smell of him. 425 00:21:47,920 --> 00:21:50,399 Speaker 2: Yeah, I like Evan's you know, I like just like 426 00:21:51,960 --> 00:21:56,160 Speaker 2: just wing safe. Yeah. Yeah, all right, So let's let's 427 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 2: change topic. Tiny bit. 428 00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:01,760 Speaker 1: I was watching another Bravo show, and on that show 429 00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:06,680 Speaker 1: was recent somebody made a comment and this person was 430 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:11,359 Speaker 1: happily married and said that she just doesn't feel like 431 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:14,200 Speaker 1: people are meant to be monogamous forever. And it really 432 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:18,879 Speaker 1: struck me because I took that to mean that she 433 00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:22,200 Speaker 1: it didn't feel natural for her to only have sex 434 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:26,280 Speaker 1: with her husband for the rest of her life. And 435 00:22:26,320 --> 00:22:31,800 Speaker 1: I questioned, is does does monogamy feel natural to me? 436 00:22:31,880 --> 00:22:34,840 Speaker 2: And it does. I don't think that I could feel. 437 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:39,439 Speaker 1: Intimate with somebody else, you know, and still be married 438 00:22:39,440 --> 00:22:40,200 Speaker 1: to my husband. 439 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:44,240 Speaker 2: Like I think that there's so much more to sex. 440 00:22:44,480 --> 00:22:47,040 Speaker 2: There's the connection, there's trust, there's all of that. 441 00:22:47,480 --> 00:22:51,640 Speaker 1: So for me, I wonder is it certain people that 442 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:54,480 Speaker 1: just can't be monogamous or that are Can you be 443 00:22:54,520 --> 00:22:58,440 Speaker 1: happily married and want to have sex with other men? 444 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:02,199 Speaker 2: Well, isn't it true that I don't know? 445 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:04,960 Speaker 3: Animals in the wild they're not monogamous, right, Like that's 446 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:08,080 Speaker 3: and we are, you know, in essence, we are animals, 447 00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:12,080 Speaker 3: And so maybe that's a fact, right, Maybe it's not 448 00:23:12,320 --> 00:23:16,080 Speaker 3: really natural. And I think that I hesitate to say 449 00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:18,920 Speaker 3: this again, I don't know, is this I want to 450 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:23,520 Speaker 3: be as always pro woman, but is it less natural 451 00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:26,840 Speaker 3: for women more natural for men to be with other partners? 452 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,000 Speaker 2: I'm not sure. I know we got to look into that, 453 00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 2: we have to. 454 00:23:29,400 --> 00:23:32,240 Speaker 3: Look into that, but I don't. I don't know if 455 00:23:32,240 --> 00:23:35,639 Speaker 3: I think that it's natural or not. But I just 456 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:40,800 Speaker 3: I think that at some point it feels daunting to 457 00:23:40,960 --> 00:23:44,840 Speaker 3: think that this is it right, like, and not just 458 00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:47,119 Speaker 3: because of the sexual aspects of it, but you're married, 459 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,240 Speaker 3: and you're married for a long time or not, but 460 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,240 Speaker 3: like that this is the only person that I'm going 461 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:58,840 Speaker 3: to lay with and be intimate with, and wow, you know, 462 00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:00,919 Speaker 3: am I missing something? I think that I felt like 463 00:24:00,960 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 3: that at seven years in. 464 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,320 Speaker 2: You know, I have heard a lot of rumors in 465 00:24:05,359 --> 00:24:09,679 Speaker 2: my town or in other towns about swinging, and I 466 00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:11,440 Speaker 2: wonder sometimes. 467 00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,600 Speaker 1: How true that is? How many people actually swing? And like, 468 00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,840 Speaker 1: once your kids are completely grown up and you're a 469 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:22,040 Speaker 1: little later in life and maybe you want to have 470 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,960 Speaker 1: a little fun, do you think something like swinging or 471 00:24:26,000 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 1: something like a hall pass could ever work. 472 00:24:30,880 --> 00:24:31,560 Speaker 2: I don't swing. 473 00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:35,560 Speaker 3: In terms of swinging, the idea of being picture it 474 00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:38,080 Speaker 3: as being just naked, right, And like what there was 475 00:24:38,080 --> 00:24:41,040 Speaker 3: that show about what is it called when you're married 476 00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:41,960 Speaker 3: to a lot of people? 477 00:24:43,560 --> 00:24:45,400 Speaker 2: Polymorpha? Polymorphous? 478 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,359 Speaker 3: Yeah, there was Sister Wives, No, but there was also 479 00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:52,159 Speaker 3: the show about Holymorphousy. I can't say, I don't know, 480 00:24:52,400 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 3: but about people that shared multiple partners and they were 481 00:24:56,200 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 3: all like they would live together and get married and 482 00:24:58,040 --> 00:25:00,600 Speaker 3: there was multiple There was I don't know four of them. 483 00:25:00,720 --> 00:25:02,240 Speaker 3: They were all married and they were having sex with 484 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 3: each other and then they would go to like these 485 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:06,360 Speaker 3: do we still call them orgies? 486 00:25:06,480 --> 00:25:06,919 Speaker 2: I don't know. 487 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:10,640 Speaker 3: And I just can't picture a scenario where I would 488 00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:14,520 Speaker 3: be comfortable enough to take all of my clothes off 489 00:25:15,240 --> 00:25:19,040 Speaker 3: and go round the room and enjoy more. 490 00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,240 Speaker 2: For me, I can't picture that. 491 00:25:21,280 --> 00:25:22,960 Speaker 3: And I have also heard the stories in my town 492 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:27,000 Speaker 3: about swingers and what is it key parties or something 493 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:27,560 Speaker 3: you pass away? 494 00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:28,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't know. 495 00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:32,520 Speaker 3: I don't think so, not because I don't not even 496 00:25:32,560 --> 00:25:33,320 Speaker 3: getting deep about it. 497 00:25:33,359 --> 00:25:36,400 Speaker 2: I just don't think I want to, like, yeah, no. 498 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:39,280 Speaker 1: Not for me either. There was that mom talk do 499 00:25:39,359 --> 00:25:41,040 Speaker 1: you remember mom talk on TikTok? 500 00:25:41,359 --> 00:25:43,640 Speaker 2: No? It was these you know, I got to get 501 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,240 Speaker 2: it straight. But I think they were all swinging. 502 00:25:45,280 --> 00:25:47,239 Speaker 1: It was a bunch of like I don't know if 503 00:25:47,240 --> 00:25:50,080 Speaker 1: they were they were some kind of religious group, but 504 00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:51,640 Speaker 1: then all the women were swinging. 505 00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:54,960 Speaker 2: They might have been Mormons. I might be making that 506 00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:58,400 Speaker 2: up anyway, can fall past? Do you think? 507 00:25:58,480 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 1: No? No, no, no, no, I mean I know I'm saying 508 00:26:01,320 --> 00:26:03,119 Speaker 1: that's what more than people do. I'm saying, oh, light 509 00:26:03,200 --> 00:26:07,000 Speaker 1: have been to you. But uh, what about a hall pass? 510 00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:10,679 Speaker 1: Did that ever work? I mean, I don't think so. 511 00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:13,239 Speaker 1: I feel like I got one in a sense. You know, 512 00:26:13,400 --> 00:26:16,720 Speaker 1: it's like we sort of both did, but it's different now. 513 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:19,119 Speaker 1: I don't know, not really, because you were both like 514 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:22,359 Speaker 1: taking a break. Yes, hall pass, you're not taking a break. 515 00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:26,800 Speaker 1: Hall pass is you're fully married and like you get 516 00:26:26,840 --> 00:26:30,520 Speaker 1: one night. I guess with somebody else, I don't think 517 00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,360 Speaker 1: that could work. I think it would destroy a marriage, right, 518 00:26:33,400 --> 00:26:34,240 Speaker 1: isn't that that movie? 519 00:26:34,359 --> 00:26:38,000 Speaker 2: Yeah? With them? Yeah, I've never seen it. I don't know. 520 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:41,240 Speaker 3: I mean, I I don't listen. I don't rule out anything. 521 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:45,800 Speaker 3: There's different. Everybody's different, and whatever works for your marriage, 522 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:48,720 Speaker 3: great if it, you know, I don't know for my 523 00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:50,520 Speaker 3: marriage at this point in life. Ast of all, I don't 524 00:26:50,520 --> 00:26:51,520 Speaker 3: want one. 525 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:52,040 Speaker 2: I don't. 526 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:56,040 Speaker 3: I'm not that doesn't honestly like I feel at this 527 00:26:56,119 --> 00:26:58,040 Speaker 3: point in my life. I used to crave the attention 528 00:26:58,119 --> 00:27:00,720 Speaker 3: of men. It was so important to me that I 529 00:27:00,760 --> 00:27:03,360 Speaker 3: walked into a room and that men would look at 530 00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:06,200 Speaker 3: me and that they thought that I was sexy. Now, 531 00:27:06,240 --> 00:27:08,800 Speaker 3: if I never felt that again, it would be too soon, 532 00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:11,840 Speaker 3: Like I don't have that. That doesn't drive me so 533 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:12,760 Speaker 3: a hall pass. 534 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:13,439 Speaker 2: Listen. 535 00:27:13,600 --> 00:27:16,239 Speaker 3: I mean, I'm not going to kick George Clooney out 536 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:18,679 Speaker 3: of my bed like you used to talk about that, 537 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:20,720 Speaker 3: or like I used to have. I was obsessed with 538 00:27:20,760 --> 00:27:24,119 Speaker 3: Blake Shelton and so because I'm like always upstairs in 539 00:27:24,160 --> 00:27:27,359 Speaker 3: my bed just like, Okay, guess what if Blake Shelton 540 00:27:27,400 --> 00:27:29,359 Speaker 3: makes it to our house and he goes up the 541 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:33,320 Speaker 3: stairs and he sees you sitting there with crumbs around you, okay, 542 00:27:33,800 --> 00:27:36,480 Speaker 3: in your like like just laying there like a. 543 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,800 Speaker 2: Slot, and he you want to and he wants to 544 00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:39,800 Speaker 2: go for it. 545 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 1: Really, I don't think I've ever heard Evan once mentioned 546 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:47,400 Speaker 1: that he thought any kind of celebrity was attractive. And 547 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,360 Speaker 1: he doesn't like if I talk about it. I'll tell 548 00:27:50,359 --> 00:27:52,960 Speaker 1: you something when the when the show first came on. 549 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:55,000 Speaker 1: When I was first on the show back in twenty eighteen, 550 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:59,080 Speaker 1: I was at an event and I was so like 551 00:27:59,400 --> 00:28:03,200 Speaker 1: new to all of this, and then and Page six 552 00:28:03,320 --> 00:28:06,880 Speaker 1: was there and they were interviewing people. They pulled me over. 553 00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:09,119 Speaker 1: I don't think our show was even airing yet. We 554 00:28:09,119 --> 00:28:11,439 Speaker 1: had just finished filming, and they were like, we're going 555 00:28:11,520 --> 00:28:14,160 Speaker 1: to ask you rapid fire, like twenty questions. 556 00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:15,080 Speaker 2: That's great. 557 00:28:15,760 --> 00:28:19,359 Speaker 1: So they were asking me favorite restaurant, favorite food, you know, 558 00:28:19,560 --> 00:28:22,480 Speaker 1: favorite brand to wear, and then they said celebrity crush. 559 00:28:22,560 --> 00:28:25,800 Speaker 1: I said, I don't really have one, and they said, 560 00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:26,920 Speaker 1: just just pick somebody. 561 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:29,320 Speaker 2: So I always thought that the football player. 562 00:28:29,040 --> 00:28:32,800 Speaker 1: That Kim Kardashian was married to was gorgeous, So I said, 563 00:28:33,040 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 1: who's that guy that Kim Kardashian was married to? 564 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,480 Speaker 2: Reggie Bush? And they said, okay, next question. 565 00:28:37,560 --> 00:28:41,440 Speaker 1: You know, they kept going and the next morning, Evan 566 00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:47,600 Speaker 1: got like twenty like people sending him. The headline was 567 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:54,400 Speaker 1: New New Jersey House. I was a crush on Reggie Bush. 568 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:55,640 Speaker 2: He was pissed. 569 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:59,320 Speaker 1: I think he was embarrassed, and I felt so bad 570 00:28:59,400 --> 00:29:03,479 Speaker 1: so I tried not to like ever like even mentioned 571 00:29:03,560 --> 00:29:06,240 Speaker 1: that I feel like somebody else might be attractive because 572 00:29:06,240 --> 00:29:08,640 Speaker 1: I don't want to insult him, like I feel bad, 573 00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:12,600 Speaker 1: but like he knows that I have, like anyone who 574 00:29:12,600 --> 00:29:15,120 Speaker 1: knows me knows that I have like a wicked, wild 575 00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:19,880 Speaker 1: crush on Pete Davidson. And it's so fucking unrealistic, Like 576 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:23,000 Speaker 1: what's really gonna happen? Is he really gonna leave? Like 577 00:29:24,800 --> 00:29:31,720 Speaker 1: and all the crushed on having Goldschneider. I mean, let's 578 00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:32,640 Speaker 1: get real, but like. 579 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,840 Speaker 2: I don't know, we were just talking about swing. No 580 00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,360 Speaker 2: thank you. Love love that man, but no thank you. 581 00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,480 Speaker 3: And obviously we know he's got Jackie gold Stutter doesn't 582 00:29:41,640 --> 00:29:44,360 Speaker 3: me but anyway, But the point is that Jeff would. 583 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:45,880 Speaker 2: Never that doesn't even occur to him. 584 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:50,240 Speaker 3: I mean we like we can be there watching a 585 00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:53,200 Speaker 3: movie with our kids and I could oh my god, 586 00:29:53,240 --> 00:29:57,120 Speaker 3: he's so hot, or you see, I don't oh god 587 00:29:57,240 --> 00:29:58,480 Speaker 3: that she's so your type. 588 00:29:58,600 --> 00:30:01,320 Speaker 2: I don't know why they know that. Yeah, it's always sad. 589 00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:03,440 Speaker 2: I don't think Evan has ever said that he thinks 590 00:30:03,480 --> 00:30:05,800 Speaker 2: that somebody. Why does that make you feel bad? 591 00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:07,920 Speaker 1: I think no, because I don't want to disrespect him 592 00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:11,280 Speaker 1: by saying like, oh that person like I would. I 593 00:30:11,280 --> 00:30:13,120 Speaker 1: mean I would never say all that man is cute, 594 00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,600 Speaker 1: you know, but like even like a silly celebrity crush 595 00:30:15,760 --> 00:30:18,239 Speaker 1: like I I don't know, we don't talk about though 596 00:30:18,240 --> 00:30:18,760 Speaker 1: I would say that. 597 00:30:18,760 --> 00:30:20,360 Speaker 3: I would say any of that and do say it, 598 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:22,600 Speaker 3: like like even just oh my god, look at that guy. 599 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:27,800 Speaker 3: He's gorgeous, like in front of I don't know, my kids, 600 00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:30,320 Speaker 3: And it doesn't that doesn't phaze me. 601 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:32,200 Speaker 2: I don't. 602 00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:34,720 Speaker 3: I don't want to haul pass and I'm not giving out. No, 603 00:30:34,800 --> 00:30:38,600 Speaker 3: I don't have either maybe back in the day. So 604 00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:44,400 Speaker 3: what about so when you see all that time, Mary, 605 00:30:44,560 --> 00:30:44,920 Speaker 3: what is it? 606 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,800 Speaker 2: Mary? Kill? Yeah? 607 00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:49,520 Speaker 1: I mean like even that, like I would not feel 608 00:30:49,560 --> 00:30:53,680 Speaker 1: comfortable because I think that he would be insulted. Yeah, 609 00:30:53,720 --> 00:30:56,360 Speaker 1: and also like I don't really want to sure, Like 610 00:30:56,400 --> 00:30:58,680 Speaker 1: I love my husband, I don't know that family. And 611 00:30:58,680 --> 00:31:02,040 Speaker 1: when I think about somebody else, but I'll, yeah, get 612 00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:05,840 Speaker 1: on the list. I mean like there's a lot of people, but. 613 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:09,080 Speaker 2: I feel like it would destroy it. 614 00:31:09,200 --> 00:31:12,360 Speaker 1: Like if I was to do that, it's not only 615 00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:14,360 Speaker 1: hurting my husband, it's hurting my children. 616 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:16,960 Speaker 2: And I don't I don't ever want to think about that, 617 00:31:17,360 --> 00:31:17,560 Speaker 2: you know. 618 00:31:17,960 --> 00:31:21,040 Speaker 3: Yeah, Listen, when we when Jeff and I were separated, 619 00:31:21,200 --> 00:31:24,400 Speaker 3: I because I had experienced a lot of divorce as 620 00:31:24,440 --> 00:31:26,080 Speaker 3: a kid, and I was the you know kid in 621 00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:29,440 Speaker 3: the scenario. My parents got divorced when I was three, 622 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:34,160 Speaker 3: So in my mind it I think I was surprised 623 00:31:34,200 --> 00:31:37,560 Speaker 3: by how badly it hurt them, which seems silly and naive, 624 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,520 Speaker 3: but for me, it was part of my life right 625 00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:41,280 Speaker 3: growing up, and. 626 00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:43,680 Speaker 2: I that was. 627 00:31:43,680 --> 00:31:49,440 Speaker 3: The hardest part was watching my kids miss daddy so much, 628 00:31:49,680 --> 00:31:54,800 Speaker 3: and you know, not having our family unit together. And 629 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:58,160 Speaker 3: I I'm an idiot that I didn't anticipate that, but 630 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,480 Speaker 3: again I was. To me, it was like a part 631 00:32:00,520 --> 00:32:04,920 Speaker 3: of life, right, And so the kid thing is very, 632 00:32:05,000 --> 00:32:05,800 Speaker 3: very complicated. 633 00:32:05,840 --> 00:32:07,080 Speaker 2: Again, I think that that. 634 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:11,160 Speaker 3: You have to factor yourself into the equation, even when 635 00:32:11,160 --> 00:32:14,760 Speaker 3: it comes to your family. Your happiness has to matter. 636 00:32:15,200 --> 00:32:18,360 Speaker 3: Have you ever been with a woman? I've kissed a woman? 637 00:32:18,480 --> 00:32:19,920 Speaker 2: Really, yes, I never have. 638 00:32:20,360 --> 00:32:23,680 Speaker 3: Yes, I kissed a woman again, like to please a man. 639 00:32:24,960 --> 00:32:29,360 Speaker 3: It was so sad, right, So I don't know, I 640 00:32:29,400 --> 00:32:32,320 Speaker 3: don't know about telling too much, but I did it 641 00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:34,640 Speaker 3: to turn on a guy. That's just so pathetic. 642 00:32:34,800 --> 00:32:37,320 Speaker 1: But it's so you'll talk about masturbating in the bathroom 643 00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:39,920 Speaker 1: with a playboy from your stepfather. 644 00:32:40,040 --> 00:32:43,200 Speaker 3: But A yeah, I don't know, some stuff feels right 645 00:32:43,240 --> 00:32:45,880 Speaker 3: to talk about. Other it feels listen. I mean, what 646 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:47,360 Speaker 3: else is there to say? I kissed a woman? 647 00:32:47,480 --> 00:32:50,080 Speaker 2: I mean how no, no, no, no no. I was wondering 648 00:32:50,120 --> 00:32:52,200 Speaker 2: this the circumstances. 649 00:32:52,760 --> 00:32:57,640 Speaker 1: So, you know, just to reiterate, like I just this 650 00:32:57,760 --> 00:33:01,040 Speaker 1: study that I was looking at. It said that in 651 00:33:01,080 --> 00:33:04,239 Speaker 1: your twenties. The average American has sex eighty times a year, 652 00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:05,080 Speaker 1: which comes out to. 653 00:33:05,840 --> 00:33:09,000 Speaker 2: Like one and a half times a week. But that's 654 00:33:09,080 --> 00:33:12,080 Speaker 2: more that I mean, that's less than I would expect. Yeah, 655 00:33:12,280 --> 00:33:15,560 Speaker 2: when you're in your when you're in your. 656 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:20,400 Speaker 1: Fifties or you have school age children, it's about once 657 00:33:20,440 --> 00:33:22,600 Speaker 1: a week, and then when you're in your sixties it's 658 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:23,560 Speaker 1: twenty times a year. 659 00:33:24,640 --> 00:33:28,880 Speaker 3: Well, I don't want to be disrespectful to my mom. 660 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:33,800 Speaker 3: She's a super ager. Yeah, yeah, at least it did. 661 00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:35,440 Speaker 3: I mean now she's she's eighty one years old. 662 00:33:35,480 --> 00:33:40,280 Speaker 2: But we've had discussions about it, and her mindset was always. 663 00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:45,720 Speaker 3: That if it's if it pleases your husband so much 664 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:50,640 Speaker 3: and gives I don't know, relief in some way, then 665 00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:54,480 Speaker 3: you know what's the problem, Like it's something that you do, 666 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,000 Speaker 3: and not that she didn't enjoy it too, but more 667 00:33:58,280 --> 00:34:03,120 Speaker 3: from the perspective of, you know, the physical like if 668 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:07,640 Speaker 3: he has this physical need and he feels like when 669 00:34:07,640 --> 00:34:11,279 Speaker 3: it's not satisfied, it's it's very hard to deal with 670 00:34:11,560 --> 00:34:12,799 Speaker 3: and a lot of I know a lot of women 671 00:34:12,840 --> 00:34:15,719 Speaker 3: and you probably do too, who feel like when they 672 00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,960 Speaker 3: don't have have consistent sex with their husbands or their 673 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:22,399 Speaker 3: partners or whatever, that the partners get in a bad 674 00:34:22,480 --> 00:34:26,040 Speaker 3: mood and it comes like in between them. I mean 675 00:34:26,080 --> 00:34:28,160 Speaker 3: you hear that from your friends, Like I have friends 676 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:32,000 Speaker 3: that say, you know, get mad, they would go get 677 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:35,480 Speaker 3: very crazy. They withhold sex when they're mad at their husbands. 678 00:34:35,920 --> 00:34:37,480 Speaker 3: I think it'd be hard to have sex when you're 679 00:34:37,480 --> 00:34:40,680 Speaker 3: mad at your partner. For me, it would be the 680 00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,440 Speaker 3: last thing i'd want to do. But not not not 681 00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:44,560 Speaker 3: to manipulate. 682 00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:47,640 Speaker 1: You know. Personal problem for me was so you know, 683 00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,640 Speaker 1: I had an eating disorder for a very very long time, 684 00:34:49,680 --> 00:34:53,879 Speaker 1: and during that time, I used to play around with 685 00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:57,400 Speaker 1: dangerous foods. When I say dangerous, I mean like they 686 00:34:57,440 --> 00:34:59,759 Speaker 1: had chemicals in them that I see they. 687 00:34:59,640 --> 00:35:01,360 Speaker 2: Were yeh's a snap. Yeah. 688 00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:05,399 Speaker 1: So oftentimes I was extremely bloated. Even though I was 689 00:35:05,960 --> 00:35:10,200 Speaker 1: skin and bones, I was. I was very bloated. So 690 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:15,120 Speaker 1: I used to wear a shirt very often when I 691 00:35:15,160 --> 00:35:19,960 Speaker 1: had sex, and it was because I didn't like the 692 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:24,000 Speaker 1: way that my stomach looked right and I wasn't comfortable 693 00:35:24,000 --> 00:35:27,279 Speaker 1: being naked. I was also very very cold, and that's 694 00:35:27,320 --> 00:35:30,080 Speaker 1: one thing with recovery, Like I don't have that anymore, 695 00:35:31,760 --> 00:35:35,200 Speaker 1: and it's great, but I always felt bad because I 696 00:35:35,280 --> 00:35:40,080 Speaker 1: knew it was a little bit weird not to be naked. 697 00:35:41,120 --> 00:35:45,760 Speaker 3: So I relate to that like wholeheartedly. When I was younger, 698 00:35:45,800 --> 00:35:51,080 Speaker 3: I wore absolutely always, Oh my god, yes, and again, 699 00:35:51,280 --> 00:35:52,920 Speaker 3: I mean, you know, I've scept with an union disorder 700 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:54,880 Speaker 3: as well. But even you know, the times where I 701 00:35:54,880 --> 00:35:58,279 Speaker 3: would get really really heavy and I wouldn't even think 702 00:35:58,280 --> 00:36:01,320 Speaker 3: about getting completely naked into If I'm being completely honest, 703 00:36:01,360 --> 00:36:05,040 Speaker 3: I still have insecurities, even in front of Jeff, who 704 00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:10,040 Speaker 3: has certainly seen it all. It's interesting to me that 705 00:36:10,080 --> 00:36:11,799 Speaker 3: I've at least the men that I've been with, they 706 00:36:11,800 --> 00:36:13,920 Speaker 3: don't seem to have any insecurities no matter what their 707 00:36:13,960 --> 00:36:16,680 Speaker 3: body looks like, which I wish that. 708 00:36:16,840 --> 00:36:17,480 Speaker 2: I think. 709 00:36:17,719 --> 00:36:19,759 Speaker 3: I wish that I had always felt like that, But 710 00:36:20,120 --> 00:36:23,600 Speaker 3: I hope that keeps going back to sorry rag to 711 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,600 Speaker 3: my daughter, But I hope she feels like that right like, 712 00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:29,319 Speaker 3: no matter what she feels in her body, that she 713 00:36:29,360 --> 00:36:32,319 Speaker 3: would be able to enjoy sex and feel free and 714 00:36:32,400 --> 00:36:35,239 Speaker 3: feel desirable, you know, no matter what. 715 00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:37,520 Speaker 2: But I didn't. I still always, I still don't always. 716 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:40,960 Speaker 3: I don't walk around I would walk around naked if 717 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:43,840 Speaker 3: I have during the time where I felt like my 718 00:36:43,840 --> 00:36:48,080 Speaker 3: body looked really good. I definitely have, but now not 719 00:36:48,239 --> 00:36:51,000 Speaker 3: wanting to go back to last week's episode about ozembic, 720 00:36:51,080 --> 00:36:54,080 Speaker 3: but things have changed and it just I look, my 721 00:36:54,120 --> 00:36:56,000 Speaker 3: body looks so much older than it used to and 722 00:36:56,040 --> 00:36:58,520 Speaker 3: I have I definitely have a little bit of shame 723 00:36:58,600 --> 00:37:01,160 Speaker 3: around that and don't want to I'm not as free 724 00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:03,240 Speaker 3: as I was at one time, but it's gone. 725 00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:04,960 Speaker 2: In and out. Like can you do anything about that? 726 00:37:05,320 --> 00:37:07,839 Speaker 2: I suppose I could exercise? Would that? No? Would that? 727 00:37:07,960 --> 00:37:10,760 Speaker 2: Do it? Like? What kind like lifting wasting weights or yeah? 728 00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:11,400 Speaker 2: I told I think. 729 00:37:11,440 --> 00:37:13,200 Speaker 3: I also said in the last episode, I'm trying to 730 00:37:13,239 --> 00:37:17,600 Speaker 3: incorporate more of that. And it's not just because of 731 00:37:17,719 --> 00:37:20,439 Speaker 3: my looks, but because at you know, fifty five years old, 732 00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:25,919 Speaker 3: I need to your bone density is fading and it's 733 00:37:25,960 --> 00:37:29,240 Speaker 3: so important right to keep muscle and to keep blimber 734 00:37:29,320 --> 00:37:32,520 Speaker 3: and flexible. And I'm just I'm when it comes to exercise, 735 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:37,279 Speaker 3: I'm lazy, so but it is, it's really important. And now, 736 00:37:37,400 --> 00:37:39,440 Speaker 3: of course that would change. I think it would change 737 00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:41,400 Speaker 3: what my body look like. When you fill up the 738 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,040 Speaker 3: skin with muscle, it's got to look better. 739 00:37:43,200 --> 00:37:45,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, right, I still don't walk around naked. I love 740 00:37:45,920 --> 00:37:47,480 Speaker 1: the way my body looks now. But I still don't 741 00:37:47,520 --> 00:37:49,600 Speaker 1: walk around naked. I don't know, it doesn't feel natural 742 00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:49,840 Speaker 1: to me. 743 00:37:49,960 --> 00:37:50,240 Speaker 2: Really. 744 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:53,319 Speaker 1: Yeah, my kids, two of my kids will walk around 745 00:37:53,360 --> 00:37:53,960 Speaker 1: naked all day. 746 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't care at all. The other day, Hudson, 747 00:37:57,360 --> 00:37:59,040 Speaker 2: he uh, he got. 748 00:37:58,880 --> 00:38:03,400 Speaker 1: Like but like a sweatburn on his thighs, and I 749 00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:07,120 Speaker 1: gave him a cream that started burning him and he's like, 750 00:38:07,200 --> 00:38:07,759 Speaker 1: oh my god. 751 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,959 Speaker 2: He takes his short so he's just running. 752 00:38:10,640 --> 00:38:14,600 Speaker 1: Around the house like beat his flapping you know, and 753 00:38:15,520 --> 00:38:17,200 Speaker 1: his new little pubes everywhere. 754 00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,920 Speaker 2: You don't give a crap. He didn't give a crap. 755 00:38:21,560 --> 00:38:23,600 Speaker 2: So don't you feel like that's more of a boy thing. 756 00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:26,880 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean lately for my kids, I think that 757 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,319 Speaker 3: my son was waiting up than my daughter again, like 758 00:38:30,400 --> 00:38:32,920 Speaker 3: it's sad that I would like for her to beat 759 00:38:32,920 --> 00:38:33,600 Speaker 3: Peel is free. 760 00:38:34,680 --> 00:38:37,600 Speaker 1: Yeah I don't. That would be nice. Can you imagine 761 00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:38,600 Speaker 1: feeling so free? 762 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:40,080 Speaker 2: No? Yeah? 763 00:38:40,280 --> 00:38:40,360 Speaker 3: No? 764 00:38:40,680 --> 00:38:51,760 Speaker 2: Maybe there any other personal stories. 765 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:54,719 Speaker 3: Well, I mean we didn't touch on like which I 766 00:38:54,719 --> 00:38:57,279 Speaker 3: think we had spoken about before the podcast, But in 767 00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:01,080 Speaker 3: terms of like that whole that whole life kink factor 768 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:04,920 Speaker 3: and sort of what I have. I do have that 769 00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:07,080 Speaker 3: part of me and I'm not gonna delve in. I 770 00:39:07,120 --> 00:39:09,000 Speaker 3: don't want to, you know, freak anyone out. But I 771 00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:11,000 Speaker 3: do have that part of me that is has a 772 00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:16,000 Speaker 3: very rich not imagination, well not just imagination, but fantasy 773 00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:21,040 Speaker 3: life right that I incorporate. It helps me during sex 774 00:39:21,160 --> 00:39:25,759 Speaker 3: to enjoy it. And I never really acted on any 775 00:39:25,800 --> 00:39:30,120 Speaker 3: of those fantasies. But sometimes I sometimes think to myself, like, 776 00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:33,960 Speaker 3: is that devan behavior? Talk to my therapist, abduct. 777 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:38,000 Speaker 1: Are they solo fantasies or they involve your partner solo? 778 00:39:38,600 --> 00:39:43,239 Speaker 2: Oh? And so I wonder is that's something? Is that 779 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:45,200 Speaker 2: a common thing? Yeah? 780 00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,959 Speaker 1: I think everybody like closes their eyes sometimes thinks about 781 00:39:47,960 --> 00:39:49,200 Speaker 1: something else when you feel bad. 782 00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,960 Speaker 3: About that, knowing that like Evan was doing that, thinking 783 00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:55,600 Speaker 3: about other women or other situations or other who knows, 784 00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:56,560 Speaker 3: I mean other situation. 785 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:59,960 Speaker 1: I mean, like, honest to God, sometimes during sex I'll 786 00:40:00,080 --> 00:40:03,719 Speaker 1: have to stop myself from thinking about like my choor lists, 787 00:40:03,760 --> 00:40:04,200 Speaker 1: like what I. 788 00:40:04,120 --> 00:40:06,000 Speaker 2: Have to get as to the supermarket. Want. 789 00:40:06,200 --> 00:40:09,200 Speaker 1: No, it doesn't help exactly, but I mean, like your 790 00:40:09,239 --> 00:40:11,520 Speaker 1: mind does wander, yeahs to get there? 791 00:40:11,640 --> 00:40:12,640 Speaker 2: Would I be insulted? 792 00:40:13,719 --> 00:40:16,360 Speaker 1: I think I think a little like piece of my 793 00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:20,200 Speaker 1: ego would probably be, but only because I don't know 794 00:40:20,200 --> 00:40:22,239 Speaker 1: how fucking normal it is. I'm sure if you asked 795 00:40:22,239 --> 00:40:25,840 Speaker 1: a hundred people and they didn't use their name and 796 00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:27,799 Speaker 1: they were being honest, that a hundred people would tell 797 00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:29,920 Speaker 1: you that sometimes they close their eyes and like picture 798 00:40:29,960 --> 00:40:30,439 Speaker 1: someone else. 799 00:40:30,480 --> 00:40:33,880 Speaker 2: It's not even someone else. Sure Evan has done it. Person. 800 00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,320 Speaker 3: I'm not like closing my eyes and picturing a specific 801 00:40:37,040 --> 00:40:41,360 Speaker 3: another man or woman, right, but I am picturing like 802 00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:45,239 Speaker 3: I have these scenarios that turn me on, and you know, 803 00:40:45,440 --> 00:40:49,080 Speaker 3: it's it is, it can be for me at times, 804 00:40:49,120 --> 00:40:51,600 Speaker 3: it feels a little shameful. I don't know that it 805 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:54,880 Speaker 3: should though, you know, it's like and maybe it's supposed 806 00:40:54,920 --> 00:40:57,600 Speaker 3: to stay private, and I've shared stuff with Jeff, but 807 00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:01,120 Speaker 3: like also like acting on those with my husband is 808 00:41:01,160 --> 00:41:03,319 Speaker 3: not something that I feel like it would just be 809 00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:05,200 Speaker 3: so corny and silly, right, Like. 810 00:41:05,840 --> 00:41:07,719 Speaker 2: I mean I don't know what they are. Well, I'm 811 00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:08,440 Speaker 2: not going to tell you. 812 00:41:08,640 --> 00:41:10,960 Speaker 3: Okay, Well maybe one day, who knows, see how popular 813 00:41:11,000 --> 00:41:11,799 Speaker 3: the podcast gets. 814 00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, right, maybe that will be your celebration. 815 00:41:14,760 --> 00:41:18,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, I am like sexed out. 816 00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:23,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like any cigarette. Oh wait, there was 817 00:41:23,600 --> 00:41:28,680 Speaker 2: another thing, yeah, vacation. Oh yeah, I mean like, who 818 00:41:28,840 --> 00:41:32,680 Speaker 2: put this like false narrative out there that Amen's sister. Yeah, 819 00:41:32,719 --> 00:41:35,480 Speaker 2: you're supposed to have feel like there's so much more 820 00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:36,920 Speaker 2: relaxed on vacation. I mean it. 821 00:41:36,920 --> 00:41:39,759 Speaker 1: Depends like are you alone with your husband? Is it 822 00:41:39,880 --> 00:41:43,000 Speaker 1: like a couple's trip, Because then I understand. 823 00:41:42,800 --> 00:41:46,880 Speaker 3: Well, I mean even if it's not like we always had, 824 00:41:47,400 --> 00:41:49,920 Speaker 3: like you have a separate room from your kids? Is it, oh, 825 00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:51,520 Speaker 3: you have a separate room at home. I guess I 826 00:41:51,520 --> 00:41:53,440 Speaker 3: don't know. I didn't get the whole. I don't relate 827 00:41:53,480 --> 00:41:55,479 Speaker 3: to the whole, Like we're on vacation. Now's the time 828 00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:58,480 Speaker 3: we could finally like relax and let loose the intimacy 829 00:41:58,520 --> 00:42:01,600 Speaker 3: that I feel on vacation. This doesn't sound like corny, 830 00:42:01,640 --> 00:42:05,120 Speaker 3: but like it's just doing fun things with Jeff Right. 831 00:42:05,200 --> 00:42:09,959 Speaker 3: It's like being relaxed enough to you know, have him 832 00:42:10,120 --> 00:42:12,960 Speaker 3: hang out with me in the morning, drinking coffee in 833 00:42:13,040 --> 00:42:15,200 Speaker 3: the bed and getting up and. 834 00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:16,600 Speaker 2: Having a whole day in front of us. 835 00:42:16,800 --> 00:42:20,640 Speaker 3: That's just about like what we want to do and 836 00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,759 Speaker 3: enjoying that because I couldn't I don't think I could 837 00:42:23,800 --> 00:42:26,240 Speaker 3: go on. I couldn't be with anyone on a vacation 838 00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:30,200 Speaker 3: like any like I could be with Jeff. I don't 839 00:42:30,239 --> 00:42:32,279 Speaker 3: want to go on. Maybe when I get older, I 840 00:42:32,360 --> 00:42:34,680 Speaker 3: want to go away with a friend or but I 841 00:42:34,800 --> 00:42:36,799 Speaker 3: like just being with him. We have the same rhythm. 842 00:42:36,880 --> 00:42:40,000 Speaker 3: We've like developed this whole both of us, this whole 843 00:42:41,000 --> 00:42:44,120 Speaker 3: rhythm on vacation. We kind of are in sync, right, 844 00:42:44,239 --> 00:42:46,000 Speaker 3: like we only want to do so much or I 845 00:42:46,080 --> 00:42:47,840 Speaker 3: only want to do so much touring. I want to 846 00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,480 Speaker 3: do a lot of eating, so does Jeff. Right, I 847 00:42:50,480 --> 00:42:54,560 Speaker 3: want to do a lot of laying around. I want 848 00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:59,000 Speaker 3: to do a lot of shopping, and well he would 849 00:42:59,080 --> 00:43:01,800 Speaker 3: rather actually not too much shopping. But we have also 850 00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:04,880 Speaker 3: seeing sites, right, But we have we've set up this 851 00:43:04,920 --> 00:43:06,640 Speaker 3: rhythm after all these years that we just have a 852 00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:10,799 Speaker 3: great time when we're away. And it's not because you know, 853 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:12,440 Speaker 3: we're hanging from the chandeliers. 854 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:18,799 Speaker 1: It's just not, Yeah, you guys so much fun. 855 00:43:19,440 --> 00:43:21,560 Speaker 2: I wish we could do like a question answer service names. 856 00:43:21,600 --> 00:43:23,480 Speaker 1: I know, maybe we could, maybe we could do like 857 00:43:23,520 --> 00:43:26,080 Speaker 1: a live show and take like callers and stuff. I 858 00:43:26,120 --> 00:43:28,480 Speaker 1: have guests on. I want to have I do want 859 00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,600 Speaker 1: to have guys on. Yeah, we're gonna start having guests. 860 00:43:31,640 --> 00:43:32,000 Speaker 2: Guys. 861 00:43:32,239 --> 00:43:34,600 Speaker 1: Send us like what you want us to talk about 862 00:43:34,680 --> 00:43:35,680 Speaker 1: we're so excited. 863 00:43:36,800 --> 00:43:37,319 Speaker 2: We're gonna be. 864 00:43:37,320 --> 00:43:39,520 Speaker 1: Doing this for a long time, so we're gonna be 865 00:43:39,560 --> 00:43:41,640 Speaker 1: coming to you, you know, right now. It's going to 866 00:43:41,719 --> 00:43:44,520 Speaker 1: be every two weeks, but uh, we'll see what happens. 867 00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:47,960 Speaker 2: Just future holds, who knows, I know what the future holds. 868 00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:49,040 Speaker 2: Can Jeff get home? 869 00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:52,120 Speaker 3: When Jeff gets home, yeah, the future then holds me 870 00:43:52,160 --> 00:43:53,120 Speaker 3: in bed with Netflix and. 871 00:43:55,200 --> 00:44:00,279 Speaker 2: Crumbs and fantasies of Blake Shelton. That's exactly all right. Well, 872 00:44:00,960 --> 00:44:03,239 Speaker 2: we are two Jersey Jays. We love you, guys, we do. 873 00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:06,840 Speaker 2: Thank you for listening. Talk to you. Bye. 874 00:44:10,880 --> 00:44:10,920 Speaker 3: M