Speaker 1: Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds Miller Key and Jared
Speaker 1: Haven an iHeartRadio podcast. Hey, welcome to an whole new
Speaker 1: episode of Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds? Still in
Speaker 1: the works on that one teen Kaylin joining us on
Speaker 1: this special special episode of help by Sucker dating you
Speaker 1: don't Oh Jesus, Help by Sucker. We've been what's the
Speaker 1: name this podcast? Help We Suck At Being Newlyweds? It's
Speaker 1: gonna take a little time. It takes me three years
Speaker 1: just to remember anything. So we have a very special episode.
Speaker 1: Two episodes this week. This is the second. First one
Speaker 1: was with Emily Ferguson or Emily uh Carlson. Did we
Speaker 1: find out if she changed her last name? She did
Speaker 1: to carl say, so it's Emily Carlson, which is so crazy.
Speaker 1: So eighty six that's a restaurant term means no more
Speaker 1: Goodbye to the Fergie Twins. That's so sad. No more
Speaker 1: Fergie Twins. So weird. But it was a good run.
Speaker 1: They were on Paradise many times. They had their own show.
Speaker 1: Great run. But this episode is going to be a
Speaker 1: Q and A. We asked you some questions on Instagram
Speaker 1: because we just started doing this podcast. Kalin is obviously
Speaker 1: on here as the new co host. She's amazing. I
Speaker 1: know that you have a lot of questions for her
Speaker 1: for the podcast moving forward, so let's get it going.
Speaker 1: Here's the first question, Kaylin. This one is gonna be
Speaker 1: for you, Kaylin. What makes you nervous about becoming a
Speaker 1: mother someday? We just talked to Emily about being a mother.
Speaker 1: We talked about Ashley being a mother all the time.
Speaker 1: So what are some things that you're nervous about. What
Speaker 1: are some of your fears going into motherhood. I think
Speaker 1: the one thing holding me back from kids, not that
Speaker 1: I'm ready now, but you know, in the future, is childbirth.
Speaker 1: It's just nothing about it excites me. I'm not good
Speaker 1: at pain. My pain tolerance is low, so it really
Speaker 1: freaks me out. But I just got dinner with one
Speaker 1: of my girlfriends and she said that giving like birth
Speaker 1: and her child childbirth was like the most fun experience
Speaker 1: of her life. So that gave me some hope the
Speaker 1: entire pregnancy or just giving birth. Just giving birth was
Speaker 1: the most fun experience ever. She's like, it was like
Speaker 1: a party, and I've never heard that, So I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna if we do eventually have children, go into it
Speaker 1: with that mindset and hope I'm the same. What kind
Speaker 1: of hospital did she go to? It sounds like a
Speaker 1: great fun hospital party, I know. So that's definitely my
Speaker 1: biggest fear. Also, like your body changing is scary and
Speaker 1: all of the things that your body has to go
Speaker 1: through to like adapt to have a child, and like
Speaker 1: the sickness. It just people sometimes emphasize the bad side
Speaker 1: of being pregnant, and I think that's what I've kind
Speaker 1: of been focusing on. Yeah, it's it's not easy seeing
Speaker 1: from you know, up close and personal, Ashley going through
Speaker 1: I gotta call up question if that's okay? Yeah, go Klan.
Speaker 1: It seems like the only fears that you have about
Speaker 1: having a child comes in the pre child of phases,
Speaker 1: though right I'm wrong, I'm thinking that. Yeah, there are
Speaker 1: actually a lot of fears that come after that too,
Speaker 1: but that's like the one that's front in my mind
Speaker 1: right now. But yeah, obviously, like messing up your kid
Speaker 1: is scary, and like what if I'm a bad mom.
Speaker 1: And it's funny because like when you're growing up, you
Speaker 1: feel like your parents can like protect you at all costs,
Speaker 1: they know everything, and then the older you get, you
Speaker 1: realize they have no idea what they're doing and how
Speaker 1: many ways you can screw up a kid. So that's
Speaker 1: just a whole other there are many fears that go
Speaker 1: along with that as well. So I answer your question,
Speaker 1: it does, it does. I was just curious because you
Speaker 1: focus on the whole pregnancy thing, which I know is
Speaker 1: a big thing for any girl to go through. But
Speaker 1: I was just curious if there's any post pregnancy concerns
Speaker 1: that you had, you know, oh, yeah, even more. Yeah.
Speaker 1: It is funny when you talk about pregnancy because then
Speaker 1: after you give birth, you're like, Okay, now I have
Speaker 1: to raise a child. You know, just doesn't stop. We
Speaker 1: were actually talking last night, Ashley and I just kind
Speaker 1: of talking in a whim. I was like, if you
Speaker 1: even had the choice, like, say, we could get you
Speaker 1: a surrogate, and you like, it didn't cost us money
Speaker 1: or whatever, like you just had the choice of getting
Speaker 1: a surrogate for the second kid or not, would you
Speaker 1: want to do it? And I was under the impression.
Speaker 1: I was like, I don't think she would anymore. You know,
Speaker 1: before we had Dawson, she was, of course like Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm definitely gonna surrogate. And now I'm curious if given
Speaker 1: the choice and everything worked out, she is kind of like,
Speaker 1: I don't think she would, just because of the bond
Speaker 1: that she has with Dawson and him growing in her belly.
Speaker 1: I think that obviously just makes it feel a little
Speaker 1: bit more special. I don't really know, but it was
Speaker 1: just we talked about the pregnant state, everything like that that
Speaker 1: was an interesting conversation. So Dean, this question is for you,
Speaker 1: piggybacking off that will starting a family affect you traveling?
Speaker 1: Do you think it will make you stop or cut back?
Speaker 1: It's funny actually that this was asked because I feel
Speaker 1: like Kitlan and I just had a conversation recently about this.
Speaker 1: I personally don't think it. I think come like your
Speaker 1: immediate thought is, yes, it's going to change the way
Speaker 1: that I travel, and I think it definitely would in
Speaker 1: some ways. But I would be happy to have a
Speaker 1: little baby with me on every adventure that I go on.
Speaker 1: You know, like, imagine bringing a baby in Artica. I
Speaker 1: think that'd be awesome. We did have this conversation on
Speaker 1: the podcast that's crazy. Yeah, imagine bringing a baby to
Speaker 1: the top of Sarah Torre or up to the top
Speaker 1: amount Everest. You know that baby is going to touch
Speaker 1: the highest point on Earth before he turns three. I
Speaker 1: think that'd be an awesome achievement for him to be
Speaker 1: able to do so. I do then think that there
Speaker 1: are ways to travel with a baby. You know, there's
Speaker 1: a lot of like van people that I follow on
Speaker 1: Instagram that have children and they find a way to
Speaker 1: make it work. I think that you don't necessarily have
Speaker 1: to lose your travel bug if you have a baby.
Speaker 1: I think there's ways that you can find to make
Speaker 1: it work. I think there's like baby safe adventures we
Speaker 1: could go on, Like our neighbor that lives in a
Speaker 1: van two in Vegas. I just saw there set up
Speaker 1: for like camping with the baby, and it looked pretty fun. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I mean, of course, you see the highlight reel on Instagram.
Speaker 1: It's probably not as glamorous as it like I. You know,
Speaker 1: I love being in the van by myself, and when
Speaker 1: you joined me in the van, it adds to my stress.
Speaker 1: And then if we had a baby in the van
Speaker 1: with us too, I could only imagine how much more
Speaker 1: stressful and messy that van would look, but you just
Speaker 1: find a way to adapt and make it suitable for
Speaker 1: all three people, as I'm working on doing with just
Speaker 1: the two of us in the van. So I don't
Speaker 1: necessarily think I would travel I would travel less, but
Speaker 1: I wouldn't travel significantly less, you know, Yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 1: Somebody asks, how can I feel confident when meeting a
Speaker 1: significant others friends? This is pretty intimidated to me. I mean,
Speaker 1: just be I It's the stupidest thing I'm ever gonna
Speaker 1: say in my entire life, But just be yourself. But
Speaker 1: be a good version of yourself. You know, Like I'd
Speaker 1: probably say, stay away from any racy or dirty jokes.
Speaker 1: You know, you don't want to like offend anybody too
Speaker 1: early on until you're comfortable with them. So of course
Speaker 1: I would say the biggest thing is just be show
Speaker 1: that you're putting effort. I think that's really it. Like,
Speaker 1: we actually got dinner with so. We had Nate and
Speaker 1: Rodney here for a meet and greet on Saturday at Audrey's,
Speaker 1: and then we went to dinner with Jill and her
Speaker 1: new boyfriend Jill from Bachelor Bachelor in Paradise and her
Speaker 1: new boyfriend's great and I felt bad because he was
Speaker 1: just like, Hey, you're gonna meet Jared and Ashley and
Speaker 1: then these two guys from Bachelor for the first time.
Speaker 1: We're all going to get dinner. So he got a
Speaker 1: kind of got thrown in there, but he was great,
Speaker 1: Like he definitely like was trying to insert himself in
Speaker 1: the conversation. He was actively listening, and then even though
Speaker 1: he didn't speak a lot, it was very sweet to
Speaker 1: say like, oh, like, it just shows that you were
Speaker 1: like at least trying to be personal while meeting Chill's friends.
Speaker 1: And I think that goes a long way. So just
Speaker 1: as long as you don't act indifferent, you'll be fine. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And if they, I mean, your significant other likes you
Speaker 1: and she or he likes their friends, obviously, just be
Speaker 1: yourself and it should be fine. Yeah. I like how
Speaker 1: Jared's advice was to not say anything racy or like Ronchi,
Speaker 1: And I was just imagining every time I meet any
Speaker 1: of Kaylin's friends, that's like the very first thing that
Speaker 1: I do is I put my foot in my mouth,
Speaker 1: not like intentionally, but like you know, I mean, how
Speaker 1: many stories do we have of me meeting any of
Speaker 1: your friends? And then you make fun of me the
Speaker 1: next day for do you remember asking this question or
Speaker 1: saying this? Oh my god, I know you're talking about
Speaker 1: That was one instance when you had too much to drink.
Speaker 1: Can you say it on air or is it? No? No,
Speaker 1: it was. I mean it was funny, but it was
Speaker 1: like a little inappropriate. But that's my point exactly, is
Speaker 1: that sometimes my mind goes to a dark place and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I know, like I got something that's
Speaker 1: gonna kill and then I say it and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I guess we're just not on that level, are we.
Speaker 1: I only met you five years ago. Sorry about that.
Speaker 1: I woke up in the morning and I was like,
Speaker 1: big smile on my face, like, Kaylin, I was pretty
Speaker 1: funny last night, wasn't I as crushing it? And she
Speaker 1: was like, no, do you remember remember the questions you
Speaker 1: were asking? And I was like yeah, I'm pretty sure.
Speaker 1: And then Kaylyn repeated them to me and I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: hearing you say them makes me realize how stupid eyes
Speaker 1: must have said. So it was fun. I just think
Speaker 1: I agree with you be yourself, be goofy. And you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know, Kaylin, what's your advice because you've had
Speaker 1: to meet a lot of my friends obviously, So what
Speaker 1: what is your approach to that? I mean, yeah, it
Speaker 1: was pretty nervous. The second we got off Paradise, we
Speaker 1: flew to San Diego, picked up your van, and then
Speaker 1: I met twenty of your friends and that was pretty
Speaker 1: nerve wracking. Um yeah, but and I'm I'm also very shy,
Speaker 1: and I'm better in groups of like one or two
Speaker 1: people versus like twenty. But um, you know, a beer helped,
Speaker 1: and I just started playing whatever drinking games they were
Speaker 1: playing and tried to tried to act like I wasn't nervous.
Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, it's gonna be one of the boys, right,
Speaker 1: Who are they playing? They're they're They're playing King's Cup
Speaker 1: or something like that. That was funny. There was like
Speaker 1: twenty of them. They were down there for like a
Speaker 1: golf trip, so they were all like wasted and smelly,
Speaker 1: and then we had known each other for like a
Speaker 1: week at that point. That was a pretty funny experience.
Speaker 1: But we went over there to shower because we didn't
Speaker 1: have a shower in the van. Did we even end
Speaker 1: up showering? I don't remember showering there. I don't think
Speaker 1: you did I think it was like too messy and
Speaker 1: we left. Yeah, that's funny. All right, what else? Let's
Speaker 1: see if I want to ask you guys a question,
Speaker 1: it's my turn now, but I gotta pull up the list. Okay,
Speaker 1: here we go. Jared, did you think that Kaylin and
Speaker 1: I would get engaged when we first started dating? Um? Wow,
Speaker 1: that's a great question. I think it's okay if it's no. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess no because of Dean, Because you know, for
Speaker 1: the longest time, you've always talked about how you're non
Speaker 1: traditional and you didn't see yourself getting engaged or getting married,
Speaker 1: and that was just kind of who you were. And then,
Speaker 1: you know, a special right before Paradise, you kind of
Speaker 1: have to put yourself back in that spot you were.
Speaker 1: You just bought the van, you know, you grew the mustache.
Speaker 1: You were, I mean, going down a very different path
Speaker 1: of settling down. And then you got asked to go
Speaker 1: on Bachelor in Paradise, and then you were going back
Speaker 1: and forth whether you wanted to do it, and then
Speaker 1: you said you were going to do it. But you're
Speaker 1: just gonna go there and be honest and be like,
Speaker 1: I'm just a dude living in a a Van and then
Speaker 1: you met Kaylin and then obviously everything changed after that,
Speaker 1: so I guess probably, I mean, god, I don't know
Speaker 1: a timetable, but once you guys started dating for months
Speaker 1: and it was very clear that it was a serious relationship,
Speaker 1: then yeah, I always thought that Kaylin would definitely convince
Speaker 1: you to get engaged, and then ultimately that's exactly what happened.
Speaker 1: Not convince you to get engaged because you were against
Speaker 1: I think it was more like you were going to
Speaker 1: realize how important Kaylin was to you and that you'd
Speaker 1: want to take that step for her. That's how I
Speaker 1: phrase it when I say, you know, Calin was going
Speaker 1: to convince you to get engaged. Yeah, Calin really had
Speaker 1: to put a gun to my head to make me,
Speaker 1: you know, pull pull the trigger on that metaphorical to
Speaker 1: make it go on that hellish, hellish hike. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Dean and Jared, what were your first impressions of each other, Well,
Speaker 1: let's think about the first time that we met each other. Well,
Speaker 1: my first impressions of Dean were from Bachelorette and Paradise,
Speaker 1: and of course I thought what everybody else thought was
Speaker 1: that this guy is definitely an f boy. Like not
Speaker 1: from bad because well, also, Dean, you were you're obviously
Speaker 1: so good looking now, but when you were back then,
Speaker 1: it was like you had the hair and like the tan,
Speaker 1: and you were so sweet and tongue looking. And it's
Speaker 1: like this guy is definitely he like collects toenails in
Speaker 1: his closet. There's no way anybody is this perfect, Like
Speaker 1: this is impossible, It's impossible. I know I've gone down
Speaker 1: the hill since then, for sure. I disagree. I think
Speaker 1: you've gone uphill since then. But I guess my first well,
Speaker 1: when did we meet? That's what I'm I'm trying to
Speaker 1: remember when we first met. Do we meet at Nick's
Speaker 1: apartment or you're you'res in Kni's apartment. I guess maybe, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't remember the first time we met. It's so
Speaker 1: funny how um this podcast came together, because I remember
Speaker 1: you were doing you were doing the podcast, and then
Speaker 1: you were taking like a hiatus, and then I think
Speaker 1: they were debating adding a co host. And I still
Speaker 1: don't to this day. I don't know how I got chosen,
Speaker 1: but I got super lucky. Wait, so before you joined,
Speaker 1: you hadn't met Dean. No, I did? Oh, we didn't
Speaker 1: know each other that well. We had like barely known
Speaker 1: each other. I think we met when we when you
Speaker 1: were living with Nick, and Nick got the idea or
Speaker 1: you got the idea, whoever it was, to film those
Speaker 1: bad Chiller episodes, and like, that's kind of when we
Speaker 1: hung out. Actually, if you thought that was my idea,
Speaker 1: get the hell out of here. You know that on
Speaker 1: that I disagree with it. I just I didn't want
Speaker 1: you to have thought of it and may not give
Speaker 1: you any potential credit. Okay, So that's when that very soon.
Speaker 1: That's when we at least hung out a couple of times.
Speaker 1: My first impression of Jared was Okay, he's obviously very handsome,
Speaker 1: a lot shorter, a lot shorter than I expected him
Speaker 1: to be. Um and uh, very smart about very specific things.
Speaker 1: I think that was the thing that really stuck out
Speaker 1: to me was your like movie catalog in your head
Speaker 1: was like so vast and I was like, damn, how
Speaker 1: does one person know that much about one topic? And
Speaker 1: I was really impressed by that. It's so pathetic. I
Speaker 1: felt bad. There was a girl that came in to
Speaker 1: Audrey's like three weeks ago, and she was wearing a
Speaker 1: Michael Myer's shirt Halloween T shirt, and I figured that
Speaker 1: she must be a big Halloween fan to come in
Speaker 1: and wear a Michael Myer's shirt. So it's like, oh,
Speaker 1: you're a Halloween fan, and she goes, oh love Halloween.
Speaker 1: I love Michael Myers. So then I start going for
Speaker 1: like fifteen minutes on this like, oh, you know the
Speaker 1: first one? Or what's what do you think about the
Speaker 1: new trilogy? And would you think about Halloween Ends? And
Speaker 1: with Jamie Lee Curtis and Laurie Strode and blah blah
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and dude, I lost her like three
Speaker 1: minutes in, and I'm like, I'm I guess I just
Speaker 1: talk about movies on a different level than a lot
Speaker 1: of people expect. And it really, like you said, it's
Speaker 1: the specificity of it that, like how much I know
Speaker 1: about certain like the dumbest why do I know about
Speaker 1: this stuff? I think? I think Easton's trying to play
Speaker 1: the Brady Buzzer, but he's muted, so he's not able
Speaker 1: to That's a shame, yeah, which which is funny because
Speaker 1: there it is. There's the Brady Buzzer. I bet you
Speaker 1: the girl at the coffee shop wish she had a
Speaker 1: Brady buzzer. But if this don't exist in every day
Speaker 1: long oh, I could tell, like, well, I started ending
Speaker 1: the conversation once I could see that she was It's
Speaker 1: like gone, and I'm like, Okay, never mind, here's your chie.
Speaker 1: I have a question for both of you, guys, Okay,
Speaker 1: has dating within the Bachelor franchise made it easier or
Speaker 1: more difficult in your relationship? Or is it doesn't even matter?
Speaker 1: I think it's made it more difficult at times, just
Speaker 1: with headlines. Like last week, I was so annoyed by
Speaker 1: a certain publications Instagram post about our podcast that they
Speaker 1: didn't even cite our podcast. But they I don't know
Speaker 1: they I don't remember what the quote was, but they
Speaker 1: pulled a random quote from the podcast about Dean want
Speaker 1: to give a sect to me before kids, and it
Speaker 1: wasn't even correct. And then Dean read the comments and
Speaker 1: everyone was coming after him, verst saying like, I don't
Speaker 1: know you read the comments, Dean. What were they saying? Oh,
Speaker 1: it's just a lot of comments about how I'm controlling
Speaker 1: and how I make the rules, and you are forced
Speaker 1: to fall all of them. You have no say in
Speaker 1: the relationship. And that's what's crazy, is like he was
Speaker 1: doing this as a kind I had proposed the idea
Speaker 1: of secting me to help you and to give you
Speaker 1: the option of not taking birth control anymore. And that's
Speaker 1: what's so frustrating. I'm like, screw you to that publication.
Speaker 1: And they do this often where they like pull these
Speaker 1: tricky headlines. I guess everyone does it and it's stupid,
Speaker 1: but I'm like, he was doing such a kind thing
Speaker 1: that most men would never offer up to do so
Speaker 1: in instances like that, it makes it more difficult, but
Speaker 1: usually I feel like it doesn't matter. I gotta be honest.
Speaker 1: What I'm annoyed at is the fact that they didn't
Speaker 1: credit the podcast. I didn't know that. I know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I never comments on this post, but I commented on
Speaker 1: that one. I was like tagging the podcast at least
Speaker 1: or give some context. But yeah, everyone is coming at
Speaker 1: me in the comments for that. It's so annoying. Even
Speaker 1: my brother was like, dang, that's pretty crazy. I'm so
Speaker 1: used to it now, but that one really did irk
Speaker 1: me because I'm trying my best to be a good
Speaker 1: person and no one thought my way. They just think
Speaker 1: that i'm some controlling, manipulative jerk who is trying to
Speaker 1: convince Kalin that I don't want to have kids and
Speaker 1: this is my way of getting out of it. It's
Speaker 1: just it's so so stupid and it's crazy, and if
Speaker 1: this publication wants to do right, they should correct it
Speaker 1: and like acknowledge the fact that what he was doing
Speaker 1: was so kind and thoughtful, like what man offers to
Speaker 1: get a dissect me so the woman doesn't have to
Speaker 1: be on birth control because it doesn't agree with her body.
Speaker 1: I'm angry, but continued Dean, I was going to say,
Speaker 1: even since we first came off Paradise and you know,
Speaker 1: we were kind of both polarizing figures, I guess if
Speaker 1: you will, I feel like the odds were kind of
Speaker 1: against us, and I do think that kind of strengthened
Speaker 1: our bond a little bit. So these headlines that we
Speaker 1: see that are negative, although it is like annoying for
Speaker 1: us to see and have to deal with them, I
Speaker 1: do think it does bring us closer in a weirder way.
Speaker 1: And I do think being part of the Bachelor franchise
Speaker 1: has made dating a lot easier for us and for Jared.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you would agree with this too, because the
Speaker 1: franchise has given us so many opportunities to live in
Speaker 1: abdormal lifestyle where we don't have to work as much
Speaker 1: as we would otherwise, And so for us to be
Speaker 1: able to live a life that we live now, it's
Speaker 1: all because of being on a Bachelor obviously. So I
Speaker 1: do think that there are many, many, many more positives
Speaker 1: and there are negatives, and I'm grateful for all those positives,
Speaker 1: and I think it's been a good thing for us. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I would one hundred percent agree. I think the good
Speaker 1: greatly outweighs the bad. What somebody asked, when do you
Speaker 1: think is the most ideal time to move in with
Speaker 1: a significant other? I think like two years. Oh wow,
Speaker 1: it's a long time. Yeah, it is a long time.
Speaker 1: Damn a year, I don't know, no, but I would
Speaker 1: say at least a year of knowing this person moving
Speaker 1: in it changes things, like like it just does. It's
Speaker 1: not as special anymore when they come over because they're
Speaker 1: not leaving, they're always staying. You wake up to this person,
Speaker 1: like their stuff is there. You see them a lot more,
Speaker 1: and you see them and not you know you like
Speaker 1: you'll smell their poop, like you will smell their poop.
Speaker 1: That is what's going to happen when you live together.
Speaker 1: So it definitely changes things. So I would make sure
Speaker 1: that you guys have a strong foundation that this is
Speaker 1: something that you want to go forward with. Like the
Speaker 1: worst thing and this happens. It's actually happened to someone
Speaker 1: I know right now where it's like they pretty much
Speaker 1: moved it. They just started dating, but they were living
Speaker 1: at home and so now they stay there every single night,
Speaker 1: and they already moved their stuff in, so they're like, wow,
Speaker 1: I pretty much lived there now and it's literally like
Speaker 1: a month into the relationship. And I'm like, oh God,
Speaker 1: don't do that. That's just a recipe for disaster. No,
Speaker 1: that's the way too soon. That's a lot. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I think it goes both ways, and it really depends
Speaker 1: on a lot of things like age and situation. Like
Speaker 1: I had never lived at this significant other until Kaylin
Speaker 1: and I lived together, which was pretty fast. Like you know,
Speaker 1: you're either with me in my van or I was
Speaker 1: with you at your apartment in West Hollywood. That was
Speaker 1: also because of COVID or your broken leg and then COVID. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. So that's what I'm saying. Situationally, it was
Speaker 1: just a little bit different. But I will say like
Speaker 1: living together or spending so much time on the same roof,
Speaker 1: in whatever context you want to put that in, it
Speaker 1: did make the relationship feel a lot more serious early on,
Speaker 1: in a good way. I think, like you know, as
Speaker 1: a early twenty something year old, I was in relationships,
Speaker 1: but they never felt super serious because we would not
Speaker 1: live together and you would only see each other a
Speaker 1: couple times a week. So I do think like maybe
Speaker 1: as you get older, it could be a little earlier,
Speaker 1: but as a young person, I think that you should
Speaker 1: definitely take your time and wait a little bit longer. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think so well, said Dean. So Well said thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you. Yep, I'm pretty good at this whole podcasting. Think, Jared,
Speaker 1: if you were to have a second child, what would
Speaker 1: you name them? Say the first name that comes to
Speaker 1: mind for Oh wow, okay, I didn't have to get
Speaker 1: to that last part, Tom Haben. No, I would not
Speaker 1: name him Tom. My first son's name is already Brady
Speaker 1: in the middle. It's a great question. I've always liked
Speaker 1: the name Sebastian. I talked to Ashley about that before
Speaker 1: we had Dawson. But I mean, Dawson was always gonna
Speaker 1: be Dawson. I'm glad he's Dawson. But I always like Sebastian.
Speaker 1: She's not a big fan of that name, so that
Speaker 1: I don't know. We'll see for a girl, no idea,
Speaker 1: and then for a boy. Honestly, yeah, the first name
Speaker 1: that comes to mind would probably be Sebastian. But I
Speaker 1: also love I have a dog named Clark, so I
Speaker 1: can't name Clark. Even though I love old fashioned names,
Speaker 1: I would love love to bring back some old fashioned names.
Speaker 1: We name all our dogs like we have Clark, we
Speaker 1: have lois ethel Lucy. They're all just like straight out
Speaker 1: of the nineteen twenties. But to bring back a name
Speaker 1: like that, I think that's that's where we're going to
Speaker 1: head towards. I like Sebastian. He could um it would
Speaker 1: be short for Bash, like Collombash. That would be cute.
Speaker 1: Call Bash yeah as a nickname. You don't like it? No,
Speaker 1: no, no no, I like it. I like Bash Bash. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I could see that. I don't think as you didn't
Speaker 1: like that, I like Bash. Are you saying Clark is
Speaker 1: an old school name? Don't you think. I don't think so.
Speaker 1: I know a couple of Clarks that are my age.
Speaker 1: You know, Clark's your age. Yeah? Really, I mean I'm
Speaker 1: sure obviously there's Clarks in their twenties and thirties. But
Speaker 1: like you're telling, like, how many Clarks do you know
Speaker 1: comparably to John Matt Bill. Yeah, I understand what you're saying.
Speaker 1: I see you're coming from. I do think it's less common.
Speaker 1: It's a good name. It's a good name, Clark Habin.
Speaker 1: I like it. And what was the girl name that
Speaker 1: you said? It's got a good ring to it. What
Speaker 1: was the girl name that you said? I didn't even
Speaker 1: say a girl name. I got nothing. Do you guys
Speaker 1: have any kid names? Yeah, Dane's named Dollar children I
Speaker 1: have no say Yeah, so he is controlling. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I am controlling. Hey, Caitlin, I'm naming the kids. You're
Speaker 1: you're a birth that I'm I'm naming. I'm look it
Speaker 1: up and deal with it's a great Can you share
Speaker 1: the name I think you have before Dean? Yeah, we've shared.
Speaker 1: We've shared him. If it was a boy, it'd be Hunter, Hunter,
Speaker 1: Scott Bell. I know Kyle is Kyl Yeah, Kaylen wants
Speaker 1: to have some input on the middle name. Um, but
Speaker 1: I would like it to be Scott. We'll see how
Speaker 1: that how that goes if it gets to that point,
Speaker 1: and then the girl would be Debbie Bell. Middle name TBDB,
Speaker 1: middle name Kaylen. What middle name should Debbie have? I've
Speaker 1: been thinking about this a lot lately. I don't know why,
Speaker 1: and I can't think of a good middle name Debbie
Speaker 1: blank Bell. But what if she just doesn't have a
Speaker 1: middle name Debbie Bell. Debbie Bell's nice. She could even
Speaker 1: be Debbie blank Bell different. Oh like it, Debbie blank Bell. Um,
Speaker 1: all right, let me ask you a couple of rapid
Speaker 1: fire questions before we wrap this podcast up. So um,
Speaker 1: try to be short winded, and so will I. Do
Speaker 1: you guys believe in love at first sight? I will
Speaker 1: go first No? No, no, clean sweep. That's right. Last, gentlemen,
Speaker 1: we hate love. What is your biggest turn off? Mine
Speaker 1: is when people are rude to either bartenders or white stuff.
Speaker 1: My biggest turnoff is, oh man, I'm thinking more in
Speaker 1: terms of like just people and not more so romantic.
Speaker 1: But my biggest like ick or turnoff is is when
Speaker 1: you talk to someone and you always have to repeat yourself.
Speaker 1: You know, every time you say something, they're like, what,
Speaker 1: sorry to say that again. I absolutely cannot stand that.
Speaker 1: That's my biggest pet peeve I think of all time.
Speaker 1: That's a great, great, great pet peeve because I do that,
Speaker 1: and I hate myself. I don't know why I do it.
Speaker 1: It just takes a minute to process in my brain.
Speaker 1: And Ashley, well, one hundred percent agree with your dem
Speaker 1: because I do this to her. She'll ask me something
Speaker 1: and I'll say huh, even though it's still processing in
Speaker 1: my brain. But my initial reaction is to have her
Speaker 1: repeat it instead of me taking a minute to process it,
Speaker 1: which is not a good quality. Yeah. I'm still working
Speaker 1: on that too, And I know it drives doing crazy,
Speaker 1: but it's it's a reaction. It drives me up the wall.
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you what, I don't think it's necessarily like,
Speaker 1: I know you're not doing it intentionally. And I used
Speaker 1: to do it all the time as well, and I
Speaker 1: still do it sometimes. But I noticed I was doing
Speaker 1: it and I was like, Okay, I am going to
Speaker 1: fix this and try to get better at it. And
Speaker 1: so what I've started doing when I encounter these people
Speaker 1: is when they say what or hunt. I just don't respond.
Speaker 1: I don't even say anything. I don't even give them
Speaker 1: any type of eye contact or I definitely don't repeat myself.
Speaker 1: And that's my solution to it. And it like maybe
Speaker 1: maybe some light on them that they need to fix
Speaker 1: the problem, the problem whatever. Maybe maybe it's just some
Speaker 1: light off the problect that they're doing that they're doing
Speaker 1: something that not everyone can like. So that's my that's
Speaker 1: my Oh I cannot stand. It makes my blood boil.
Speaker 1: All right, Carolen, what's your biggest turn off? Mine is
Speaker 1: chewing with your mouth open? Just the grossest thing ever
Speaker 1: is Yeah, you do hate that? Um, he is usually
Speaker 1: good at it. If he's trying to make me mad,
Speaker 1: he'll do it on purpose. Oh. If I'm having a
Speaker 1: popsicle and Ashley, I'm trying to annoy Ashley, that thing's
Speaker 1: getting crunched loudly. Ah. Do you guys think the statement
Speaker 1: wants a cheater always a cheater is true? I will
Speaker 1: go first. I do not. I don't because of Dean. Oh,
Speaker 1: thank goodness. If anyone said yes, I would have a
Speaker 1: bone to pick. I obviously don't either. If I said
Speaker 1: yes to that, I would be really mad at myself.
Speaker 1: So I don't think that's necessarily true. I do think
Speaker 1: that you have to grow out of the phase of
Speaker 1: life that you were in when you were that person,
Speaker 1: But I don't think. I don't think actions in your
Speaker 1: late teens early twenties definitely reflect who you are as
Speaker 1: a person for the rest of your life. What's something
Speaker 1: you used to believe about relationships but no longer do.
Speaker 1: The first thing that comes to my mind, this is
Speaker 1: definitely a naive thought that I had when I was younger,
Speaker 1: which was as soon as you start doubting the relationship
Speaker 1: or things start becoming difficult, then it's probably not the
Speaker 1: relationship for you. That is just completely false. And I,
Speaker 1: you know, Ashley and I and many other relationships would
Speaker 1: have ended if the first time things got hard and
Speaker 1: difficult and we had doubts about our future, that we
Speaker 1: would just end the relationship. It's ridiculous and something that
Speaker 1: I used to think was true when I was younger,
Speaker 1: and now I certainly don't think it's true. You have
Speaker 1: to work, you know, through your problems together. That's what
Speaker 1: a marriage is all about, Kayle. I think for me,
Speaker 1: I grew up in the South and it's like, if
Speaker 1: you're a Christian, you have to marry a Christian. And
Speaker 1: you know, I don't really know what I believe anymore,
Speaker 1: but I'm obviously not marrying a Christian, so that's something
Speaker 1: at least, but I no longer believe at least. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's true. That's good. I'm glad that you decided to
Speaker 1: come around on that way of thinking. That's good for me.
Speaker 1: That's not what I said. Well, I'm just saying, you know,
Speaker 1: another win for the atheists, so the world. That's great,
Speaker 1: I would say, Jared, I think what yours, yours, you
Speaker 1: said was really really good because I think as kids
Speaker 1: were kind of conditioned to believe that every relationship should
Speaker 1: be perfectly flawless and once you find your soulmate, there's
Speaker 1: never going to be any type of like tension or
Speaker 1: friction in the relationship, and so whenever we experience that
Speaker 1: in a relationship at a young age, then we think
Speaker 1: of it being a reason to end the relationship. But
Speaker 1: I don't know, I think that also comes with age two.
Speaker 1: Like with Kaylin, I think we had a lot of
Speaker 1: hurdles early on in our relationship, and we still do
Speaker 1: bicker and argue about certain things, and it just takes
Speaker 1: work to like communicate it and tell the other person
Speaker 1: what's going on and why you feel the way that
Speaker 1: you do. Where you know, work in a relationship isn't
Speaker 1: something that you necessarily think that you have to go
Speaker 1: hand in hand with at a younger age. So I
Speaker 1: agree with you. I think that's kind of what it is.
Speaker 1: I was going to say, like soulmates, I don't really
Speaker 1: believe in soulmates, and I may be used to, and
Speaker 1: I think those two things kind of go hand in hand,
Speaker 1: you know. Like I agree with you. I think that
Speaker 1: a relationship takes a lot of work, and if I
Speaker 1: did Kalin when I was twenty two, I don't think
Speaker 1: it would work because I didn't realize how much worker
Speaker 1: relationship was supposed to take back then, you know. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Two questions. In what scenario, if any, is it okay
Speaker 1: to lie to your partner. I'm a big advocate of
Speaker 1: little white lies if they serve or purpose, because a
Speaker 1: lot of people in relationships would say, I never lie
Speaker 1: to my partner. I never want my partner to lie
Speaker 1: to you. Okay, Well, I'll you scenario that I have lied,
Speaker 1: not even to particularly my partner but my partner's family
Speaker 1: perhaps where somebody cooks a dinner for me, they spend
Speaker 1: a long time on it, work hard, and then it's
Speaker 1: not that good. I'm not gonna say at dinner it's
Speaker 1: not that good. I'm gonna maybe at some point later down,
Speaker 1: you know, down the road where they've had their feet
Speaker 1: up all day and a little bit more relaxed instead
Speaker 1: of cooking away in the kitchen, I'll, you know, say
Speaker 1: oh that, you know what, that pasta dish. It just
Speaker 1: wasn't the best. It wasn't my favorite, you know, but
Speaker 1: I can't stand like, I'll never forget. I'll never forget
Speaker 1: this moment for the rest of my life. We sat
Speaker 1: down for dinner, I might as well just call him
Speaker 1: out on it. And Ashley's mom was cooking all day
Speaker 1: and she made these meatballs and we all sat down.
Speaker 1: It was the five of us because Lauren Ashley, yeah,
Speaker 1: five of us, and she must have been working on
Speaker 1: the kitchen for like five hours on this meal. And
Speaker 1: then they just have a different relationship than I have
Speaker 1: with my family because literally the first bite, Ashley's like,
Speaker 1: not that good, and I'm like, oh my god, oh
Speaker 1: my god, why would you say that and there, of course,
Speaker 1: as she was like, no, we're just be like she
Speaker 1: knows one, Like, I'm grateful she cooked for me, but
Speaker 1: it's not that good and I'm like to get I'm
Speaker 1: like I have I just I need to get out
Speaker 1: of this situation fast. Oh no, that's pretty funny. So anyway,
Speaker 1: that's my example whenever I say, like, there are times
Speaker 1: for little white lies to be like, you know, nice,
Speaker 1: I agree with you. I think that's great. I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: white lies can help ease the blow sometimes. Kaylin, what's
Speaker 1: your answer? Um, I don't know. I was gonna wait
Speaker 1: to hear your answer. I mean, I guess little white
Speaker 1: lies in those cases where it's like not a big
Speaker 1: deal and it's and you're protecting someone's feelings, then yeah, yeah, true.
Speaker 1: I mean I lie to you all the time, so
Speaker 1: I obviously think it's a relationship. You're making this so
Speaker 1: much worse for yourself. Oh my gosh, I don't think
Speaker 1: a single day goes by way. I don't tell you
Speaker 1: at least a couple of lies. Shut well, let's talk
Speaker 1: about it, you know, yeah, like, hey, how long? How well?
Speaker 1: How long? My most favorite live of all time when
Speaker 1: you ask how long is it going to take for
Speaker 1: you to build that or something? And I always say, oh,
Speaker 1: just take me an hour. Yeah, that's now a joke.
Speaker 1: I thought you were going to bring up when are
Speaker 1: you going to be back from golf? I was about
Speaker 1: to say that. That was my next one. That was
Speaker 1: my second bullet in the chamber was how long is
Speaker 1: it going to take you back from golf? I was like, Oh,
Speaker 1: I'll be back in two hours or three hours, and
Speaker 1: then I'm not back intil like ten pm. No, you
Speaker 1: say two pm. Yeah, and you don't show up till
Speaker 1: ten Yeah, that's okay, Okay, but I guess I guess
Speaker 1: now I need to depend myself. Actually, thank you. It's
Speaker 1: not necessarily a lie. It's in the moment I think
Speaker 1: I'm telling the truth, but it becomes a lie when
Speaker 1: I don't follow through with it. So I think, in
Speaker 1: your hearts of hearts, you know in the moment you're
Speaker 1: not being truthful. Yeah, I've Actually I'll tell you what
Speaker 1: I've I've developed a new system to start getting what
Speaker 1: I want more often in the relationship, and I wasn't
Speaker 1: going to share it, especially with Kaylin, because I don't
Speaker 1: want it to fail me at all. But I'm going
Speaker 1: to share it with you guys, and it works. It's
Speaker 1: been one hundred percent effective so far, not anymore. So
Speaker 1: here's here's the method. Instead of going like, instead of
Speaker 1: saying like, Hey, Kaylin, I'll be home at four today,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna go play golf with my friends, I say, hey, Kaylin,
Speaker 1: can I go golf with my friends today? Or Hey Kayln,
Speaker 1: can I go over to my friend's house? And Kaylin
Speaker 1: never wants to be the person to control me or
Speaker 1: tell me what I can and can't do? Said nine
Speaker 1: nine out of nine times she says, oh, yeah, of course,
Speaker 1: go ahead and do it. All I have to do
Speaker 1: is ask instead of instead of saying what am I
Speaker 1: gonna do? I have to ask if I can do it? Yeah.
Speaker 1: That's a great um strategy to have when you're with
Speaker 1: someone who won't tell you no. M Ashley would tell
Speaker 1: me no. Oh. I'm sure she eventually will start saying no.
Speaker 1: But I know that she her and I both with
Speaker 1: each other, we want the other person to do whatever
Speaker 1: it is that makes them happy, and so by asking
Speaker 1: it in a question form, like if Calen asked me
Speaker 1: if she could do something, I would never in a
Speaker 1: million years say no, you can't do that, and so
Speaker 1: I think that I spent it back around her by
Speaker 1: by asking the question instead. Yeah, it's works so far,
Speaker 1: but we'll see. But I do I like I like
Speaker 1: it when you ask, not that you need to ask,
Speaker 1: but sometimes when I don't know. Hey have just mixed
Speaker 1: feelings about golf. Yeah, Kilm doesn't like that I'm out
Speaker 1: drinking with my friends all day. Yeah, I mean, I don't, um,
Speaker 1: but I get it, trust me, Like I get it.
Speaker 1: It's a balance. You know, you gotta go out and
Speaker 1: have some you know, fun with the boys. You gotta
Speaker 1: have fun with the boys. You gotta just like get
Speaker 1: it out. But uh, yeah, it's a balance. I'd say
Speaker 1: ten pm is probably a little bit too late. I
Speaker 1: feel like three or four is a good compromise, you know. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: but what if you want to like play more golf
Speaker 1: after the first round and then you got to get
Speaker 1: beers all together afterwards. It's just oh, I get it.
Speaker 1: I see where where where Klin is coming from with
Speaker 1: the whole golf situation. But I mean, I think the
Speaker 1: Brady Buzzer should be I think the Brady Buzzer needs
Speaker 1: to be an actor, right, now I'm putting my foot in.
Speaker 1: You're nervous. Yeah, I'm back that, I'm back fiddling. Last question,
Speaker 1: even though I'm very confidence, probably won't happen. Do you
Speaker 1: get do you? First of all, do you have an
Speaker 1: afficiant for the wedding year? Yes? We did? Okay? Um, Well,
Speaker 1: if somebody wants to know if you had someone from
Speaker 1: Bachelor Nation officiate your wedding. Obviously there's been Chris Harrison
Speaker 1: has officiated media weddings, A lawn officiated our wedding. Um,
Speaker 1: would you have someone from Bachelor Nation? It would it
Speaker 1: be Chris Harrison or somebody else that would officiate, if
Speaker 1: you guys get to choose. We're not really close with Chris,
Speaker 1: so it definitely wouldn't be Chris if our efficiant were
Speaker 1: to not officiate our wedging, our wedding, Um, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Dean's pretty close with Wells. Maybe, well, say, I think
Speaker 1: I could see Wells officiated your wedding. Yeah, yeah, Wells
Speaker 1: is officiating another Bachelor wedding this year, So which makes
Speaker 1: you not want it? Want him too? Yeah, which makes
Speaker 1: me not wanting to. I could see Ben doing a
Speaker 1: really good job, maybe Ben? Yeah, Ben would be really good.
Speaker 1: Ben would make it very soulful and very like loving,
Speaker 1: and he would the only thing about the only thing
Speaker 1: about Ben doing it is Ben would steal the show.
Speaker 1: Like Ben would do such a good job. Everyone would
Speaker 1: be talking about how great of a job Ben did
Speaker 1: ten years later, not how beautiful the wedding went. You know,
Speaker 1: he would like outshine our vows too, which would be embarrassing. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: his bows would be better than our area. Yeah, his
Speaker 1: officiating would be better than our vows. That's funny. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it would probably it probably would be him, But no, thankfully,
Speaker 1: we have a very close friend that's doing it for us.
Speaker 1: Think you know, thankfully they are all right, well, that's
Speaker 1: going to do it for the special episode of help
Speaker 1: we Suck at being newlyweds once again, that's still in
Speaker 1: the workshop. Thank you so much for joining us on
Speaker 1: this episode. Make sure you tune into last episode that
Speaker 1: aired a few days ago with Emily Carlson formerly known
Speaker 1: as Emily ferguson The Fergie Twins. It was a great episode.
Speaker 1: It a lot of fun, and make sure you guys
Speaker 1: tune in next week where hopefully we suck just a
Speaker 1: little bit less. Thanks for listening. Follow us on Instagram
Speaker 1: at help we Suck at Being Newlyweds, and email us
Speaker 1: at Newlyweds at iHeartRadio dot com. Make sure to write
Speaker 1: us a review and leave us five stars. We'll see
Speaker 1: you next time.