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Speaker 1: This is intergalactic John, This is Alien Sam on the

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Speaker 1: International Okay Storytime podcast station, and we have some human

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Speaker 1: stories coming up, not alien, but before we make a landing,

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Speaker 1: stick around for this two minute not alien ad break

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Speaker 1: before we get to these interstellar stories.

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Speaker 2: I threw away my husband's Xbox because he refused to

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Speaker 2: look for our missing dog.

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Speaker 3: Well what if the dog was sucked into the xbox

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Speaker 3: like Jumanjim For starters.

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Speaker 2: I'm a nurse, thirty five female. I have been extremely

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Speaker 2: busy these past three months. Even writing this post is

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Speaker 2: a privilege, and I am having to do this in

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Speaker 2: bits and pieces. I also gave birth to my daughter

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Speaker 2: six months ago. I have an eight year old son

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Speaker 2: as well. When I'm not working, I take care of

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Speaker 2: my children. By the way, this comes from deleted and

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Speaker 2: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

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Speaker 2: the r slash Okay Storytime Separate it and I'm Angie,

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Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and we're here to give good

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Speaker 2: advice Goofily. But we don't have all the answers. We

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Speaker 2: just know what we would do. But let us know

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Speaker 2: what you would do in the comments, so Opie says

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Speaker 2: in January twenty nineteen, my son suddenly developed this strong

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Speaker 2: desire to have a dog. He begged and begged for

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Speaker 2: a puppy from my husband thirty five mail. I protested

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Speaker 2: against that because I had just found out that I

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Speaker 2: was pregnant. Jesus, my husband said that we should let

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Speaker 2: our son have a puppy to teach him some responsibility

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Speaker 2: and that he would have some practice to take care

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Speaker 2: of his baby sibling. He had also promised that he

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Speaker 2: would help our son take care of the dog. I

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Speaker 2: was absolutely unconvinced, but I had to give in. But

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Speaker 2: I had to give in eventually because my husband had

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Speaker 2: already agreed and I didn't want to cause further fights.

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Speaker 2: Five days ago, my son accidentally left the back door

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Speaker 2: of our house open and the dog ran away. These

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Speaker 2: five days were also some of the busiest, most grueling

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Speaker 2: days of my work, and I had to take up

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Speaker 2: night shifts because a colleague had fallen sick. Our son

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Speaker 2: first went to my husband for help. He refused to

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Speaker 2: help him, so that it was his my son's responsibility

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Speaker 2: to take care of the dog and he had to

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Speaker 2: do something about it himself. My husband has the privilege

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Speaker 2: of working from home. He works at a He works

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Speaker 2: for maybe three to four hours a day and plays

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Speaker 2: Xbox the entire time, and sometimes gets out to check

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Speaker 2: up on our daughter. He literally has no added pressures.

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Speaker 2: Five days ago, when our son told me in tears,

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Speaker 2: Dad won't look for tip beef, I talked to my husband,

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Speaker 2: who said that it would teach our son some responsibility

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Speaker 2: to take care of things in the future, which I

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Speaker 2: found very callous since a dog is a living, sentient

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Speaker 2: being and not a thing. He was playing Xbox when

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Speaker 2: I was talking to him as well. He also said

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Speaker 2: he wouldn't look for the dog or anything. Yesterday, after

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Speaker 2: coming home at night, the first thing I did was

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Speaker 2: unplug the Xbox console and controller and throw it in

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Speaker 2: the trash. Gain this morning, before going to work, my

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Speaker 2: husband threw a fit when he didn't find his Xbox

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Speaker 2: in a living room. I told him that I'd thrown

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Speaker 2: it away because he had a dependency on it that

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Speaker 2: he couldn't even get up and help our distressed son.

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Speaker 2: When I came back from work, he told me he

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Speaker 2: had found his Xbox in the trash since the garbage

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Speaker 2: truck hadn't arrived yet. Now he's being incredibly snarky, giving

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Speaker 2: me the cold shoulder, and he's angry because his controller

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Speaker 2: is and working. He also hasn't taken any measures to

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Speaker 2: look for our dog. Our and our mutual best friend

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Speaker 2: called and said that my reaction was incredibly childish. Now

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Speaker 2: I'm spending my free day calling every neighbor of ours,

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Speaker 2: making internet posters, contacting animal shelters and animal control to

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Speaker 2: see if Tippy has returned, has turned up anywhere, while

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Speaker 2: consoling my heartbroken son. Am I the a hole and

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Speaker 2: we have some comments, but I want to hear yours.

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Speaker 3: I know you're too busy to probably even think about

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Speaker 3: divorcing this man, but the fact that you have to

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Speaker 3: even ask this question infuriates me.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's as.

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Speaker 3: He doesn't care that his son's dog ran away and

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Speaker 3: that his son is distraught about it, and he's playing

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Speaker 3: video games all day. I'm honestly mad that you didn't

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Speaker 3: run the Xbox under the sink first and then.

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Speaker 4: Throw it away.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like I feel like.

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Speaker 4: I would have smashed it with hammers.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I feel like objectively, it's like always a good

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Speaker 2: idea to, you know, talk about things a little bit

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Speaker 2: more before just throwing things away like that. But at

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Speaker 2: the same time. I totally get why you did that.

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Speaker 3: I really this this feels like one of those things

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Speaker 3: where it's like there's nothing to talk about.

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Speaker 4: It's like you're you're.

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Speaker 3: Acting like a like an actual like psycho, without like

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Speaker 3: feeling your emotions, like yeah, what who are you?

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Speaker 4: Right? Who are you?

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Speaker 3: You look our son in the eyes while he cries

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Speaker 3: about his missing dog and you're like, well, I guess

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Speaker 3: that'll peach you a lesson and in the future you'll

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Speaker 3: be more responsible.

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Speaker 4: I gotta go play my game.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like you had time to look for your xbox,

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Speaker 2: but you didn't have time to look for a dog.

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Speaker 2: I know that probably takes a lot longer because your

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Speaker 2: xbox you know where that is, but still it's the principal.

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Speaker 2: We do have some comments comming Number one says, Wow,

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Speaker 2: your husband expected an eight year old to go look

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Speaker 2: through the town for the lost dog by himself because

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Speaker 2: he wanted to play video games instead. Well, what a

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Speaker 2: crappy husband and father he Your kid won't forget it,

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Speaker 2: that's for sure. Not the a hole. I would have

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Speaker 2: saved the xbox thrown out the husband. That's a good Yeah,

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Speaker 2: give the xbox to the kid. Come number two, I'm

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Speaker 2: worried about your six month old daughter he gets up

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Speaker 2: to check on her. Sometimes, that's some serious neglect. There's

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Speaker 2: so much development happening to her right now, and he

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Speaker 2: should be reading to her, spending to any time with her,

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Speaker 2: et cetera. You need to intervene or right now. Ope,

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Speaker 2: he said, honestly, genuinely speaking, I wasn't aware that he

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Speaker 2: was this neglectful. Oh okay, so maybe he is. I

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Speaker 2: have been incredibly busy for these months, and I didn't

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Speaker 2: have time to check up on my baby girl. I

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Speaker 2: used to be home for the first three months of

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Speaker 2: her life, and then I had to suddenly get back

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Speaker 2: to work. Not just my husband, it seems like I

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Speaker 2: am a crappy mom too. Someone else responds, I don't

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Speaker 2: think it's uneasy. Yeah for a day if that, and

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Speaker 2: already has experience of raising a child to be trusted

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Speaker 2: after another one. That expectation is not failing. It's just

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Speaker 2: reasonable given the other pressures you have. The failing is

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Speaker 2: in him being such a poor excuse for a human being,

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Speaker 2: let alone a father, that he can't even manage that. Jesus,

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Speaker 2: I'm middle aged, child free and even I would expect

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Speaker 2: myself to put more effort than that. My husband is

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Speaker 2: a lawyer. A lawyer's job depends on how many clients

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Speaker 2: he has. My husband currently has almost no clients due

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Speaker 2: to obvious reasons. He told me this himself, so his

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Speaker 2: workload is significantly less. Yeah, okay. First update, Tippy still

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Speaker 2: hasn't been found yet. My shift edited about thirty minutes ago,

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Speaker 2: and I'll go home and drive around my neighborhood and

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Speaker 2: surrounding areas to look for him. I have posted some

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Speaker 2: pictures of Tippy on my profile for those who requested.

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Speaker 2: Husband is still sulking about his controller. I'm at my

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Speaker 2: wits end. Update number two Tippy husband found. Let's go

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Speaker 2: and that was a short update. Update number three. First

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Speaker 2: of all, thank you everyone for your immensely kind and

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Speaker 2: considerate responses. I am thankful to each and every one

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Speaker 2: of you for giving me such beautiful and encouraging messages.

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Speaker 2: These kept me going no joke. Tippy was found two

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Speaker 2: miles away from our house a day after I posted

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Speaker 2: ads and posters on several platforms and websites. Living alone

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Speaker 2: had found him near her street, starving and exhausted. All

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Speaker 2: she responded to my calls for help on Facebook, and

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Speaker 2: I'm utterly thankful to her. We need more people like

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Speaker 2: her in this world. My son and Tippy are both

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Speaker 2: ecstatic to be reunited. All He takes care of him

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Speaker 2: just like he did before, only now I have some

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Speaker 2: time on my hands to help him as well. However,

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Speaker 2: my son is still wary of his father, and he'll

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Speaker 2: likely remain so for a long time. Yeah. If he's

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Speaker 2: eight years old and all that happened, I feel like

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Speaker 2: he will definitely remember that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, talk about a core memory. Your dad just ignoring

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Speaker 3: your distress, Yeah, and.

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Speaker 2: Playing video games instead. Probably wouldn't even let the son

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Speaker 2: play video games. And as for my husband, he now

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Speaker 2: treats Tippy as if he doesn't exist. He went and

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Speaker 2: bought a new Xbox controller right after Tippy was brought

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Speaker 2: back and now demands that I pay him for damaging

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Speaker 2: his property. I am willing to pay because I realized

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Speaker 2: my impulsive response was not the best decision, nor was

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Speaker 2: it the best way to do with my situation. My

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Speaker 2: approach towards my husband's Xbox and my husband's approach towards Tippy,

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Speaker 2: we're both horrible and irrational. But I would argue that

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Speaker 2: his response to the loss of Tippy was more horrible.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, you really need to get rid of this guy.

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Speaker 4: It's unbelievable.

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Speaker 3: Yeah for real, because that's I don't know unless he

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Speaker 3: has like a come to Jesus moment breakthrough of like,

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Speaker 3: oh my god, I can't I don't know what's wrong

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Speaker 3: with me. I don't see myself staying with this guy

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Speaker 3: because it's insane.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's pretty wacked, doodle. I started to notice

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Speaker 2: some tender areas and red skin around my daughter's diaper

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Speaker 2: area about two weeks ago. She was uncomfortable, irritable, and

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Speaker 2: put up a fuss every time I tried to change

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Speaker 2: her diaper. Turns out that she was suffering from a

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Speaker 2: diaper rash. That's right. I forgot that he was also

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Speaker 2: neglectful of their six month old child.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, get this guy, dude. Uh yeah, get him out.

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Speaker 2: Of Diaper rashes can occur for a variety of reasons,

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Speaker 2: none of which applied to my daughter. She wasn't on antibiotics,

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Speaker 2: she had soft cotton clothes, her bowel movements were normal,

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Speaker 2: and we weren't using any new products on her. This

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Speaker 2: left only one option. Her diapers weren't being changed frequently.

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Speaker 2: I was away from home for five days. I asked

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Speaker 2: my husband how many times he changed her diapers? And

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Speaker 2: we do have more to the story. I want to

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Speaker 2: get into it to know how many diapers he changed. First,

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Speaker 2: a baby her age needs her diaper changed at least

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Speaker 2: once every three hours. My husband outright said that he

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Speaker 2: changed them every seven hours or so for those five

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Speaker 2: days because he didn't think that they needed to be

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Speaker 2: changed as much as before since she was now six

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Speaker 2: months old. But they just start poohing less? What what's

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Speaker 2: up with that?

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Speaker 5: Crazy?

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Speaker 6: They just magically learn how to use the toilet next?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, six months is enough to stand up and walk

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Speaker 2: to the toilet.

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Speaker 4: What is going on?

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Speaker 2: That's so crazy? Oh yeah, okay, Opie continues. He had

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Speaker 2: raised the sun with me before. It's a ridiculous excuse.

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Speaker 2: The diaper rash is gone now, but I'm scared to

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Speaker 2: ever leave my baby with him when I go to work.

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Speaker 2: I will have to sit down and reconsider everything and

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Speaker 2: have a long talk with him soon. It's inevitable. He

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Speaker 2: still plays xboxes just like he used to before. I

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Speaker 2: will never forget how a bunch of strangers jumps to

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Speaker 2: help me find our dog. Thank you you lovely people,

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Speaker 2: and that is the end of that story.

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Speaker 7: My aunt gave me her lifetime savings because the rapture

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Speaker 7: is coming good for you. Then, for those of you

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Speaker 7: who are unaware, there's a faction of Christians out there

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Speaker 7: who believe that the rapture is going to happen on Tuesday.

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Speaker 7: My aunt is one of those people, and she has

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Speaker 7: been going around telling everyone how people will float into

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Speaker 7: the sky and whatnot. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 7: motor Log eighty six. And if you want to submit

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Speaker 7: your own stories, go to the r slash Okay story

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Speaker 7: jump subreddits.

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Speaker 4: I'm Riley, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Angie, I'm Keon, and we're here to give good advice goofully.

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Speaker 7: But we do not have all the answers. We only

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Speaker 7: know what we do know. But if you know something

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Speaker 7: you'd like to add, please put in the comments. We

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Speaker 7: would love to read them. And Opie says, I'm queer

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Speaker 7: and agnostic, and while I was raised loosely Christian, I

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Speaker 7: haven't identified with the religion since I was in the

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Speaker 7: fifth grade. Most of my family on my mother's side,

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Speaker 7: except for my aunt, are Christian, but not particularly devoted

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Speaker 7: and certainly not as much as her, nor do they

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Speaker 7: believe in the rapture. She apparently has become very very

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Speaker 7: involved in the religion at some point in college. My

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Speaker 7: entire life, I've been ridiculed by my aunt for being queer.

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Speaker 7: It got so bad that my mother had several sit

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Speaker 7: down conversations with her to tell her to stop pestering me.

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Speaker 7: She would never but one day my mother seriously put

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Speaker 7: her foot down. She made it clear that my family

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Speaker 7: accepted me and if my aunt when it's toned down,

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Speaker 7: she'd no longer be welcomed in our home or around me.

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Speaker 7: During this conversation, my aunt allegedly called my family bad

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Speaker 7: Christians for not sending me to conversion therapy, and she

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Speaker 7: said they would regret not making me repent once the

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Speaker 7: rapture was upon us.

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Speaker 2: That was a few years ago, and.

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Speaker 7: Ever since then, I mostly just get sideways glances from

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Speaker 7: her at family events and the occasional Bible verse texts

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Speaker 7: which I can manage. I'm now an adult, nineteen and

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Speaker 7: in college, and I was recently contacted by my aunt

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Speaker 7: to meet up with her for lunch. I assume that

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Speaker 7: she maybe had a change of heart and wanted to

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Speaker 7: apologize for how she treated me. This was not the

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Speaker 7: case when we met. She essentially went on a long

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Speaker 7: winded spiral about how she pities me and feels so

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Speaker 7: sorry that I never repented, and how I and the

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Speaker 7: rest of my family will be left behind because we

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Speaker 7: never fully gave our lives to Christ. At the end

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Speaker 7: of her monologue, she pulled out a stack of cash

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Speaker 7: and one hundred dollars bills and handed it to me,

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Speaker 7: telling me that she wanted to give away her life

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Speaker 7: savings to the less fortunate so she wouldn't be needing

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Speaker 7: it when the rapture comes into lives hers her to

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Speaker 7: the Lord. I try to talk her out of it,

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Speaker 7: but she insisted in practically forced the money into my

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Speaker 7: hands before abruptly walking away. When I counted it when

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Speaker 7: I got home, it was slightly over forty k in cash.

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Speaker 7: Here's why I think I would be the a hole

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Speaker 7: when the rapture and Neville does happen. I will have

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Speaker 7: no plans of giving the money back to her. I

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Speaker 7: know she will be going through some kind of long

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Speaker 7: and enduring religious psychosis. But I could honestly use this

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Speaker 7: type of cash to put me through college and handle

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Speaker 7: other expenses and she gave it to me willingly.

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Speaker 4: Would I be the a hole if I.

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Speaker 7: Didn't give her back the money when the rapture doesn't happen.

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Speaker 4: We have an edit here.

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Speaker 7: My parents are now aware of this because she apparently

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Speaker 7: decided to try and gift my younger sister or car

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Speaker 7: a relatively new nice for Bronco. I told my parents

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Speaker 7: about the money, and my mother, who is also Christian,

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Speaker 7: told me that would be the most ethical thing to

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Speaker 7: do is if I gave it back to her, that

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Speaker 7: I need to be empathetic to the struggle she clearly

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Speaker 7: has been going through. My dad, however, thinks that if

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Speaker 7: she was stupid enough to give away her life savings

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Speaker 7: on a win, the money is better off going towards

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Speaker 7: some education. Anyways, I'm still torn because this is keep

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Speaker 7: the money, pretend to be raptured, start a new.

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Speaker 2: Life, pretend to be raptured.

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Speaker 4: There we go. I was the only person that was raptured, right, Well.

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Speaker 2: But if you're a rapture, doesn't that mean you go

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Speaker 2: to happen or are you just like born?

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Speaker 4: And yeah?

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Speaker 7: So the concept of like the rapture is that during

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Speaker 7: the revelation times, whenever that happens the people that believe

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Speaker 7: in Jesus will go to heaven and everyone else will

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Speaker 7: stay and endure seven years of like pretty bad stuff happening.

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Speaker 7: I don't know if this is true. I haven't read

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Speaker 7: Revelations because I'm honestly kind of terrified by it. But

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Speaker 7: there is a thing that says like the Christians may

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Speaker 7: go before the seven years of all the bad things happening,

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Speaker 7: or may go after the seven years of all the

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Speaker 7: bad things happening. I forget. I need to clear up

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Speaker 7: my mind on that. I could be very wrong. I'll

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Speaker 7: read up on it, but basically that's the concept. Yeah,

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Speaker 7: it's like the in games Avengers as kind of what

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Speaker 7: will happen, except for not dust people will float? Yeah,

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Speaker 7: uh not. The nippick is pronounced jift. Think you can find?

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Speaker 7: Can find? You had a hilarious comment, She's like, didn't

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Speaker 7: that rapture already happen? Isn't Jasus statium on leash somewhere

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Speaker 7: Sarah in, Yeah, great movie.

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Speaker 8: Well, the thing is a lot of people, like a

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Speaker 8: lot of people love to do this. Oh yeah, this

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Speaker 8: is not the first time. It's not gonna be the

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Speaker 8: last time. Is it happening?

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Speaker 2: For hundreds of years.

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Speaker 8: Yeah, it's been happening for a while, just to cause

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Speaker 8: like stress and turmoil and like, oh, test your faith.

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Speaker 2: But like, oh boy, I'm really curious as to like

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Speaker 2: how his that guy's social circle acts towards him after

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Speaker 2: it didn't happen.

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Speaker 8: I know, I don't know if it's this guy. I

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Speaker 8: think it was the guy in twenty eleven or twenty

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Speaker 8: like around that time, was like, there's another one that

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Speaker 8: was like.

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Speaker 1: Twelve yeah, yeah, twenty that was like.

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Speaker 2: The mind calendar though no, no.

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Speaker 8: It was that, but there was another one with like

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Speaker 8: the rapture. He was spreading it and he was like, yes,

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Speaker 8: I'm the one who's claiming this. And then when it

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Speaker 8: didn't happen, a lot of people were trying to sue

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Speaker 8: him because again something like this happened a little bit

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Speaker 8: funny or like you gave us like false beliefs. Wow,

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Speaker 8: and uh, I don't know how that went, but I'm

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Speaker 8: pretty sure that guy.

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Speaker 4: Uh yeah, I'm.

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Speaker 2: Gonna look in that's interesting.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, Okay, anyways, update, I just wanted to clarify a

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Speaker 7: few things.

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Speaker 4: I am a buy.

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Speaker 7: A few people here thought I was a man. I

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Speaker 7: have no idea why she would want to give me,

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Speaker 7: of all people, the money. I'm just as confused as

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Speaker 7: the rest of you. From what I've grasped, it seems

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Speaker 7: like it was some final act of kindness towards somebody

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Speaker 7: she takes great pity on. I don't know, lmaol. As

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Speaker 7: a few you said, I should probably leave some kind

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Speaker 7: of trail to prove this was freely given and that

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Speaker 7: I didn't steal from her. So there are no legal reports,

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Speaker 7: so there are no legal repercussions should I choose to

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Speaker 7: keep it. I am still not sold on any course

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Speaker 7: of action yet, especially because it isn't Wednesday yet. So

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Speaker 7: I sent her an email thanking her for the gift

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Speaker 7: and reiterated that I did not originally want it, but

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Speaker 7: it was just oh so very gracious of her to

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Speaker 7: give the money to a poor center like me. I

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Speaker 7: don't want to take advantage of the mentally ill, but

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Speaker 7: the selfish part of me sees this as repercussions for

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Speaker 7: all the torment I endured when I was younger. I've

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Speaker 7: heard a few people say to invest the money instead

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Speaker 7: of immediately putting it towards college, and if I keep

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Speaker 7: it that it will definitely be considered I don't expect

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Speaker 7: to update again until the rapture has passed, but I

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Speaker 7: will update once.

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Speaker 4: That rolls around.

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Speaker 2: Me edit.

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Speaker 7: Doing my own research and the current rapture craze going,

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Speaker 7: they think the rapture will either happen Tuesday the twenty

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Speaker 7: third or Wednesday, twenty fourth, so I will update on Thursday.

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Speaker 7: It was gonna happen around my birthday, which September. I

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Speaker 7: was like, why is it gonna happen on September three third?

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Speaker 2: Like come on? Yeah.

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Speaker 7: It also worries me when that craze happens because like,

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Speaker 7: not that I think it's gonna happen, but like I

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Speaker 7: know what will come and I'm like just imagining, like

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Speaker 7: if that happens right now, like.

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Speaker 2: Oh think what that would be? Like oh yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it'd be wild.

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Speaker 7: Well what does the rapture mean to? Like, whenever you

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Speaker 7: hear that word, what do you think of?

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Speaker 6: WHOA?

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Speaker 2: My image of it is just like okay, God just

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Speaker 2: like opens up the sky and it's just like yo,

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Speaker 2: and then just like all the good guys, like well,

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Speaker 2: good guys, all the likes are just gonna like whoop

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Speaker 2: up to heaven in like a ray of sun and

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Speaker 2: then everyone else is just gonna be like all right,

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Speaker 2: yeah and then continue.

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Speaker 7: On they have Yeah, yeah, I mean that's kind of the.

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Speaker 2: I mean in the Revelations, don't like all these monsters

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Speaker 2: come out.

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Speaker 7: So after that happens, there's also gonna be like horrorse

403
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Speaker 7: sized cockroaches crawling around the earth, and there's not gonna

404
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Speaker 7: be water anymore, and all this other crazy stuff.

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Speaker 4: There's so much that happens.

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Speaker 7: I love watching YouTube videos on this yeah being explained

407
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Speaker 7: because I'm like, oh my god. Yeah, And like the

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Speaker 7: craziest part about it is like the guy that wrote it,

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Speaker 7: like God was basically like you getting all this, I'm

410
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Speaker 7: showing you what the end of the world's gonna look like,

411
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Speaker 7: getting all this, and like imagine having to write that book.

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Speaker 2: And be like okay, okay, I'm sorry, this is scary.

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Speaker 2: Stuff is gonna happen.

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Speaker 7: Yeah, Like imagine if he forgot something and he like

415
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Speaker 7: like he might be like, oh yeah. Also, everyone's head's

416
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Speaker 7: gonna explode on the third sneeze, right, all right? Update

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Speaker 7: two three days later, as promised, here's the update everyone wanted.

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Speaker 7: And I'll make a brief No, my aunt did not

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Speaker 7: care raptured.

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Speaker 4: No, I will not be keeping the.

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Speaker 7: Money, which I know will upset some of you. No,

422
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Speaker 7: my sister did not get to keep the car, as

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Speaker 7: I know some people were wondering. Essentially, as a lot

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Speaker 7: of you predicted. Once a rapture didn't happen, my amp

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Speaker 7: kept moving the goalpost. It went from happening on Tuesday

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Speaker 7: happening on Wednesday. Because it's still Tuesday for some parts

427
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Speaker 7: of the world, it's happening sometime this month. I decided

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Speaker 7: not to keep the money, and it's not for any

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Speaker 7: of the reasons I initially thought it would be. Trying

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Speaker 7: to give me the money and giving my sister a

431
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Speaker 7: car were not the only thing she did. Because she

432
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Speaker 7: thought the rapture was coming. She quit her job as well,

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Speaker 7: and I found out this morning she allegigedly confessed to

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Speaker 7: her husband that she was having an affair with a coworker

435
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Speaker 7: fellow church goer she works and added for a megachurch

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Speaker 7: in our area.

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Speaker 4: Car what keyboard megachurch, keyward mega church, good.

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Speaker 8: Fried good for her to way to just just you know, omit,

439
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:57,520
Speaker 8: not omit, but just reveal everything.

440
00:19:57,640 --> 00:19:59,280
Speaker 4: Yeah, repinning your sins.

441
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:05,800
Speaker 2: Oh my, and you thought you were gonna be raptured. Dude, dude, dude,

442
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:08,440
Speaker 2: can you still get raptured if you're blinking your neighbor

443
00:20:08,560 --> 00:20:08,880
Speaker 2: or something?

444
00:20:09,200 --> 00:20:10,280
Speaker 4: And I just have to repent.

445
00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:13,399
Speaker 7: Like the idea of being one with God is being

446
00:20:13,440 --> 00:20:16,440
Speaker 7: like my like, sorry, man, I confess to you, these

447
00:20:16,440 --> 00:20:18,919
Speaker 7: are my sins, and then like I still love you.

448
00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:22,200
Speaker 7: Can still be doing bad stuff, but like it's yeah,

449
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,560
Speaker 7: I'm not the one that gets to approve people into

450
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,000
Speaker 7: heaven or not. That's just what I learned. I think

451
00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:29,840
Speaker 7: the reason she was doing all of this was to

452
00:20:29,880 --> 00:20:33,480
Speaker 7: get right with God before the rapture, buy her way

453
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:36,120
Speaker 7: into heaven, and have no secrets laying on her chest.

454
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:37,000
Speaker 4: I don't know.

455
00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,200
Speaker 7: I can't pretend to understand the logic of somebody who's

456
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,000
Speaker 7: a rapture believer. Also, the way that she's going about this,

457
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,760
Speaker 7: in my eyes as a Christian, is wrong because you

458
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:49,640
Speaker 7: can't buy your way out of your sinful life. Only

459
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 7: Jesus can. So you doing all these good deeds is

460
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,440
Speaker 7: not gonna get you into heaven. It's being buddies with Jesus,

461
00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:57,640
Speaker 7: just like being like Jesus, you are the one and only,

462
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:01,400
Speaker 7: not not Oh, I'm gonna pay you, so I look

463
00:21:01,480 --> 00:21:03,719
Speaker 7: like a better person, and since you know the rapture

464
00:21:03,760 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 7: did not happen, her husband wants to file for divorce.

465
00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:12,480
Speaker 7: I'm not particularly worried about her job working for the church.

466
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:14,840
Speaker 7: I'm pretty convinced they will take her back without a

467
00:21:14,840 --> 00:21:18,440
Speaker 7: fuss because of how enshrined she was into the community.

468
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,600
Speaker 7: But one, I read a lot of your comments and

469
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,360
Speaker 7: I don't want to prove her right about how wicked

470
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:28,439
Speaker 7: queer people and agnostic slash atheists are by keeping it.

471
00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:32,040
Speaker 7: And two, she will definitely need it for her upcoming

472
00:21:32,119 --> 00:21:36,440
Speaker 7: legal fees. I'm unsure if this is her entire life savings.

473
00:21:36,440 --> 00:21:40,280
Speaker 7: But regardless, after letting my emotions cool a bit, I

474
00:21:40,359 --> 00:21:44,679
Speaker 7: know I wouldn't feel right about keeping it. Yes there is,

475
00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:47,680
Speaker 7: but okay, yeah, any I mean, Keilon, what do you think?

476
00:21:47,840 --> 00:21:48,240
Speaker 1: Good on you?

477
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:49,080
Speaker 6: Like?

478
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:52,240
Speaker 8: I think it's just a funny thing. You could just

479
00:21:52,320 --> 00:21:54,639
Speaker 8: laugh at it and be like, yeah, take your money

480
00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:56,680
Speaker 8: back like I clicked, nothing ever happened kind of thing

481
00:21:57,359 --> 00:22:00,399
Speaker 8: like no harm, no foul, good like she he's already

482
00:22:00,440 --> 00:22:02,800
Speaker 8: going through it. The karma is being served right back,

483
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:06,639
Speaker 8: and just keep your distance away from hers. It's a

484
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,679
Speaker 8: funny thing that you and your family can laugh at,

485
00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:10,679
Speaker 8: be like, Wow, you remember that I'm.

486
00:22:10,560 --> 00:22:13,880
Speaker 7: Gonna finish a story. Regardless, my mom approved of Mi's decision.

487
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,000
Speaker 7: My dad was a bit disappointed, but mostly because he

488
00:22:17,160 --> 00:22:19,680
Speaker 7: was excited about potentially not having to spend any more

489
00:22:19,720 --> 00:22:23,639
Speaker 7: money on me for college. Oh and she has not

490
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:27,399
Speaker 7: explicitly asked for it back yet. I imagine it's because

491
00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:30,760
Speaker 7: everything that's gone on has her feeling defeated or just

492
00:22:31,040 --> 00:22:33,719
Speaker 7: generally has her in a low place. But even if

493
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:36,280
Speaker 7: she doesn't, I plan on fully giving it back to

494
00:22:36,280 --> 00:22:38,240
Speaker 7: her when I can. I'm a full time student with

495
00:22:38,280 --> 00:22:40,400
Speaker 7: a part time job, so I don't have a lot

496
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 7: of free time, but I'll find a way to get

497
00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:44,880
Speaker 7: it back to her. Yes, sorry, this isn't a up date.

498
00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:47,920
Speaker 7: I know a lot of you wanted. Thank you everybody

499
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,120
Speaker 7: for all of your advice.

500
00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:52,840
Speaker 2: That's the you know that one I took my niece

501
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:57,679
Speaker 2: away from her dad. Okay, intergrning child neglect. I have

502
00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:01,680
Speaker 2: a twelve year old niece, Haley. Haley lives with her dad, stepmom,

503
00:23:01,760 --> 00:23:05,120
Speaker 2: and four younger step siblings, two boys, two girls. Don't

504
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,240
Speaker 2: know the exact ages, but they seem to be between

505
00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:10,240
Speaker 2: five and ten. Her mom passed when she was three.

506
00:23:10,359 --> 00:23:13,240
Speaker 2: By the way. This comes from Okay Barracuda fifty sixty

507
00:23:13,240 --> 00:23:14,800
Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go

508
00:23:14,840 --> 00:23:17,920
Speaker 2: to the r slash Okay Storytime, Separate it and I'm Angie,

509
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:20,600
Speaker 2: I'm Dakota, I'm Carly, and we're here to give good

510
00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:22,840
Speaker 2: advice Goofly, but we don't have all the answers. We're

511
00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 2: just gonna guess what we would do in the situation,

512
00:23:24,760 --> 00:23:27,199
Speaker 2: and if you would do something differently, let us know

513
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:30,480
Speaker 2: in the comments. As Opie says, Hayley's dad and stepmom

514
00:23:30,560 --> 00:23:33,359
Speaker 2: are not well off. They live in a three bedroom house,

515
00:23:33,359 --> 00:23:36,479
Speaker 2: so Haley shares a room with her stepsisters. The kids

516
00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 2: get one pair of shoes, reuse school supplies until they're

517
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,360
Speaker 2: falling apart, and if their clothes still fit, they don't

518
00:23:42,359 --> 00:23:45,240
Speaker 2: get new school clothes. I'm doing a lot better, but

519
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,080
Speaker 2: I refuse to help him with money because if I

520
00:23:47,200 --> 00:23:50,440
Speaker 2: give him money with the direct instructions to get Haley's

521
00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,040
Speaker 2: some decent shoes or an ice jacket, I expect the

522
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 2: money to be used on Haley, not split between all

523
00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:59,760
Speaker 2: five kids. He also dislikes me because he blames me

524
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,600
Speaker 2: CPS investigating him and his wife for leaving the kids

525
00:24:03,640 --> 00:24:06,960
Speaker 2: home alone every day. Hayley stays with me after school

526
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:08,520
Speaker 2: and sleeps over a few nights a week because I

527
00:24:08,560 --> 00:24:10,359
Speaker 2: don't I won't drop her off if there's not an

528
00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:12,560
Speaker 2: adult present, and I told her not to get on

529
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:15,240
Speaker 2: the bus under any circumstances so they can't tell her.

530
00:24:15,520 --> 00:24:17,920
Speaker 2: I wanted her to take the bus home. That day,

531
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,760
Speaker 2: Haley and two of her step siblings needed glasses. Nobody

532
00:24:21,800 --> 00:24:23,919
Speaker 2: was able to take Hayley for her eye examine to

533
00:24:23,960 --> 00:24:26,400
Speaker 2: get the glasses, so they asked me to take her

534
00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,800
Speaker 2: and gave me one hundred dollars with the instructions to

535
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 2: get the cheapest pair we can find. I was driving

536
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:33,919
Speaker 2: Hailey to the eye doctor and she told me she

537
00:24:34,000 --> 00:24:37,200
Speaker 2: really wanted contacts, but her dad said no. I talked

538
00:24:37,240 --> 00:24:39,479
Speaker 2: to the receptionist and they were able to get her

539
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:43,160
Speaker 2: in for a contact fitting that day. After her contact appointment,

540
00:24:43,160 --> 00:24:45,160
Speaker 2: we checked out the glasses and she found two pairs

541
00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,280
Speaker 2: that she really liked, so I told her to get both.

542
00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:49,640
Speaker 2: I took her back after school a few days later

543
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:52,440
Speaker 2: and picked up a few boxes of contacts. Her new

544
00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:55,080
Speaker 2: glasses came in a few days ago and she loves them,

545
00:24:55,080 --> 00:24:58,080
Speaker 2: but her dad is furious about the glasses. Then he

546
00:24:58,119 --> 00:25:01,000
Speaker 2: found out about the contacts. Haley was keeping them in

547
00:25:01,040 --> 00:25:03,640
Speaker 2: her backpack and never told him about it. So he

548
00:25:03,760 --> 00:25:05,760
Speaker 2: told her that she gets to keep one pair of

549
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:08,119
Speaker 2: glasses and everything else has to stay at my house

550
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:10,879
Speaker 2: because he's sick of me and Haley rubbing her stuff

551
00:25:10,880 --> 00:25:14,680
Speaker 2: in her step siblings faces. Halee responded by packing most

552
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:17,160
Speaker 2: of her stuff and walking to my house. Now she's

553
00:25:17,200 --> 00:25:20,480
Speaker 2: refusing to go home. Oh wow. CPS came for another

554
00:25:20,520 --> 00:25:23,040
Speaker 2: investigation and was told by the kids that Haley doesn't

555
00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,480
Speaker 2: live there anymore, which is not helping my brother in

556
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:27,840
Speaker 2: law's case. Now, my brother in law wants me to

557
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,199
Speaker 2: make Haley come back and stop spoiling her so she

558
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 2: won't rub it in her siblings' faces anymore. Her rubbing

559
00:25:33,480 --> 00:25:35,800
Speaker 2: it in their faces means she put both pairs of

560
00:25:35,800 --> 00:25:38,280
Speaker 2: glasses on her dresser, but it wasn't fair because the

561
00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,119
Speaker 2: other kids could see it. Am I the ahole for

562
00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:43,639
Speaker 2: getting her contacts and two pairs of glass? And there

563
00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:45,680
Speaker 2: are some comments, but would you say.

564
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 4: Yeah, that kid didn't deserve to see.

565
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:50,679
Speaker 2: Right right, It's like, what are we talking about? Like

566
00:25:50,720 --> 00:25:53,920
Speaker 2: I know that they're probably just mad that it's just

567
00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,359
Speaker 2: more money. But it's like they didn't. Oh he didn't

568
00:25:56,440 --> 00:25:58,480
Speaker 2: charge you for all of that stuff. It's just just

569
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:00,159
Speaker 2: out of Opie's.

570
00:26:00,800 --> 00:26:03,520
Speaker 4: If one kid gets contacts and glasses, then all the

571
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 4: kids are gonna want to have good eyesight. Right, this

572
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:07,600
Speaker 4: is great. You think we can afford that?

573
00:26:07,760 --> 00:26:09,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then watch the other kids do not even

574
00:26:09,520 --> 00:26:11,600
Speaker 2: need it. It's like, come on, give aad, but we

575
00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:16,160
Speaker 2: do have some comments. Umbrayon Skittles says, not the A whole,

576
00:26:16,359 --> 00:26:19,560
Speaker 2: Glasses and contacts are medical devices needed to see You

577
00:26:19,640 --> 00:26:21,840
Speaker 2: are a great aunt for making sure your niece is

578
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:25,240
Speaker 2: taken care of. And Chocolate Chip Wizard says, you realize

579
00:26:25,280 --> 00:26:27,200
Speaker 2: that your brother in law and his wife are collecting

580
00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,440
Speaker 2: a Social Security survivor benefit check for you caring for

581
00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,320
Speaker 2: your niece, right if she's staying with you, he should

582
00:26:33,359 --> 00:26:39,840
Speaker 2: not be claiming that check. And Bernie Doodle Lover says

583
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,960
Speaker 2: not the A whole. Can Haley live with you? Opie

584
00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 2: says yes and no proof thirty two Once it's not

585
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:50,000
Speaker 2: the A hole like, you should also file for a

586
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:53,080
Speaker 2: full custody Opie says, they won't give it to me willingly,

587
00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:55,720
Speaker 2: and they're in the middle of a CPS investigation at

588
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:58,359
Speaker 2: the moment, so it would take it would make officially

589
00:26:58,400 --> 00:27:02,119
Speaker 2: getting custody tricky. CPS is aware that she's currently staying

590
00:27:02,119 --> 00:27:04,520
Speaker 2: with me and that she was previously sleeping over three

591
00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,080
Speaker 2: to four days a week, was here every day after school,

592
00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 2: and came over most weekends to avoid being home alone

593
00:27:09,520 --> 00:27:12,879
Speaker 2: with four young children. So general consensus n at the

594
00:27:12,920 --> 00:27:13,280
Speaker 2: eight hole.

595
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:16,720
Speaker 3: And we do have an update I think from a

596
00:27:16,800 --> 00:27:18,080
Speaker 3: different subreddit.

597
00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:21,760
Speaker 2: What did that say, um, subread I don't know what

598
00:27:21,760 --> 00:27:22,160
Speaker 2: you're trying.

599
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:25,640
Speaker 6: There's no other subreddits existing, only subreddits.

600
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:27,320
Speaker 5: Are you going to other subreds?

601
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,879
Speaker 2: It's actually wrong to call it subreddit because it just

602
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:31,439
Speaker 2: is reddit.

603
00:27:31,560 --> 00:27:33,439
Speaker 4: I just had a moment of laps.

604
00:27:34,280 --> 00:27:37,440
Speaker 6: Someone someone fixed a coda of he's malfunctioninga has broken.

605
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:41,080
Speaker 3: Shave my mustache off to get my brain right again.

606
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:47,320
Speaker 2: It just lightly hit Dakota's foot on accident. Sure, no way,

607
00:27:47,600 --> 00:27:53,920
Speaker 2: there's no way. Everyone gas lights Dakoto right now. I'm

608
00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:58,080
Speaker 2: gonna keep coding. Yeah, this is update posted on ask docs.

609
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 2: What is wrong with my niece's stomach? My niece is

610
00:28:00,840 --> 00:28:03,680
Speaker 2: twelve years old. She's pretty tiny, four eight seventy five

611
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:06,720
Speaker 2: pounds and has ADHD in type one diabetes. For the

612
00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 2: past month and a half or so, she's constantly complaining

613
00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:12,720
Speaker 2: about her stomach hurting, her appetites decreased, she's more tired

614
00:28:12,760 --> 00:28:16,440
Speaker 2: than usual. She either has diarrhea or she's constipated, and

615
00:28:16,520 --> 00:28:18,600
Speaker 2: when she has to go to the bathroom, she really

616
00:28:18,640 --> 00:28:20,879
Speaker 2: has to go. We've been to the doctor three times.

617
00:28:20,960 --> 00:28:23,600
Speaker 2: They did an ultra suturn her stomach, which showed inflammation

618
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,639
Speaker 2: around her large intestine. Then she did blood tests and

619
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:30,080
Speaker 2: stool tests. She tested negative for every virus and infection.

620
00:28:31,280 --> 00:28:33,080
Speaker 2: And it's a whole bunch of letters and numbers that

621
00:28:33,119 --> 00:28:35,320
Speaker 2: I'm not even gonna read, but is a whole bunch

622
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:38,760
Speaker 2: of viruses and infections. The doctor said it's probably IBS

623
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,760
Speaker 2: and that she may be getting her period, which could

624
00:28:40,800 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 2: be triggering it or making it worse. But I just

625
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:45,360
Speaker 2: have a feeling that something's wrong. She's staying home from

626
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:47,760
Speaker 2: school again today because she just doesn't feel good, and

627
00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:49,880
Speaker 2: thailan All isn't helping. I don't know what to do

628
00:28:49,920 --> 00:28:52,840
Speaker 2: at this point. And it's we're officially adding vomiting as

629
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:55,560
Speaker 2: a symptom, and we do have a second update. I'm

630
00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:58,400
Speaker 2: just gonna roll right into its Yes, ma'am perfect. We've

631
00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:00,960
Speaker 2: been in the hospital since Saturday. My niece got a

632
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:04,120
Speaker 2: colonosca beyond Monday, and they say that she has moderate

633
00:29:04,200 --> 00:29:10,920
Speaker 2: to severe ulcrative colitis across her entire large intestine. I

634
00:29:10,960 --> 00:29:13,560
Speaker 2: don't have that, as she sounds bou, she's twelve?

635
00:29:13,640 --> 00:29:14,680
Speaker 4: Does she have all this?

636
00:29:15,080 --> 00:29:16,880
Speaker 2: She's twelve? Can you look up what that is?

637
00:29:17,280 --> 00:29:20,040
Speaker 4: So not fair? That's like an old person's disease. I'm

638
00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 4: pretty sure it sounds like it.

639
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:29,920
Speaker 2: Any sort of moderate to severe Colitisitis.

640
00:29:27,240 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 9: Is a chronic inflammatory bowel disease that causes inflammation, sores,

641
00:29:33,560 --> 00:29:37,600
Speaker 9: ulcers in the lining of the large intestine, colwyn, and rectum.

642
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:41,320
Speaker 2: Yikes, dude. They gave her a blood transfusion. Now they're

643
00:29:41,400 --> 00:29:44,280
Speaker 2: starting her on a steroid, and when she starts to

644
00:29:44,280 --> 00:29:46,560
Speaker 2: respond to the steroids, they'll put her on something that

645
00:29:46,560 --> 00:29:48,480
Speaker 2: can be used longer term. And we do You have

646
00:29:48,480 --> 00:29:51,480
Speaker 2: a third update ten days later. Haley has been in

647
00:29:51,520 --> 00:29:55,200
Speaker 2: the hospital since Saturday for either al sortive colitis or Crohn's.

648
00:29:55,680 --> 00:29:58,000
Speaker 2: Her health insurance pretty much only lets her go to

649
00:29:58,040 --> 00:30:01,560
Speaker 2: the county hospital and medical sense, and even this is

650
00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,480
Speaker 2: going to get expensive. On top of Haley's stomach situation.

651
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:08,080
Speaker 2: She also has Type one diabetes and ADHD. The ADHD

652
00:30:08,200 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 2: is currently not being treated. We live twenty minutes away

653
00:30:10,720 --> 00:30:13,080
Speaker 2: from one of the best children's hospitals in the country

654
00:30:13,240 --> 00:30:16,360
Speaker 2: for both the GI and diabetes. They also have a

655
00:30:16,360 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 2: great psych department and ADHD clinic. This would be covered

656
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:22,720
Speaker 2: under my insurance. Thirty five minutes in the other direction

657
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:26,120
Speaker 2: is another world renowned children's hospital that I would be

658
00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,680
Speaker 2: able to send her to. I sat Haley's dad down

659
00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:30,800
Speaker 2: the other day and showed him how much I was

660
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,920
Speaker 2: paying each month for Haley between her health insurance premiums,

661
00:30:34,200 --> 00:30:38,680
Speaker 2: her insulin monitor and pump, her EpiPens, doctor's appointments, et cetera,

662
00:30:39,200 --> 00:30:42,880
Speaker 2: and told him that I refuse to continue to pay

663
00:30:42,880 --> 00:30:45,719
Speaker 2: out the butt for her to receive medical care that

664
00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 2: is subpara at best, when if I was her guardian,

665
00:30:49,160 --> 00:30:51,400
Speaker 2: she would get some of the best care possible for

666
00:30:51,480 --> 00:30:53,720
Speaker 2: less than what I'm paying now. Really wishing I knew

667
00:30:53,760 --> 00:30:56,760
Speaker 2: more about you know what doctors know about right now?

668
00:30:57,080 --> 00:30:59,320
Speaker 4: I mean, bottom line is used sound like a great aunt.

669
00:30:59,560 --> 00:31:03,560
Speaker 3: Yeah, great aunt, you clearly care and yeah, you know

670
00:31:03,680 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 3: Hopefully that her dad will listen to reason and give

671
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:09,840
Speaker 3: you guardianship so you can provide her better care.

672
00:31:10,160 --> 00:31:12,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, after a long discussion and a lot of back

673
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,880
Speaker 2: and forth, he agreed to give me guardianship of Haley.

674
00:31:14,920 --> 00:31:18,560
Speaker 2: Oh wow. We started the process yesterday. She will live

675
00:31:18,600 --> 00:31:20,800
Speaker 2: with me, but we'll see her dad every other weekend

676
00:31:20,800 --> 00:31:23,360
Speaker 2: in holiday. We talked to Haley about it today. She

677
00:31:23,520 --> 00:31:26,360
Speaker 2: is very excited to officially live with me. But you

678
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:31,240
Speaker 2: have some comments. Mrla Rance says, your sister's husband seems

679
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:33,000
Speaker 2: like our real pays of work. And you are not

680
00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,520
Speaker 2: the a hole for wanting better for your niece. You

681
00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:39,280
Speaker 2: are the hero. Delete it says. Okay, so you are

682
00:31:39,400 --> 00:31:42,480
Speaker 2: using your wealth to take guardianship. You didn't need to

683
00:31:42,520 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 2: do this in order to proffer the better treatment. You

684
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:49,320
Speaker 2: made him choose between having legal guardianship and better care.

685
00:31:49,480 --> 00:31:52,360
Speaker 2: If there were changes you wanted to facilitate, you could have.

686
00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:57,440
Speaker 2: You could have and still has the power. Okay, you

687
00:31:57,480 --> 00:31:59,000
Speaker 2: know what, hope he responded to this one.

688
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, this this person is just trying to be like, well,

689
00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:03,640
Speaker 3: you didn't really have to become their legal guardian.

690
00:32:03,720 --> 00:32:05,280
Speaker 4: You didn't really have to take that away.

691
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, the father can't take care of these kids.

692
00:32:08,640 --> 00:32:11,400
Speaker 3: Bottom line is a better situation for the child, all right,

693
00:32:11,440 --> 00:32:14,240
Speaker 3: So I don't want to hear it downvoted and you're stinky.

694
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 2: I think this is either half baked, half baked rage

695
00:32:17,240 --> 00:32:19,000
Speaker 2: bait or being written by the other party. That's what

696
00:32:19,040 --> 00:32:22,760
Speaker 2: that downvoted commentary said. Opie responds, I did. If I

697
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:25,600
Speaker 2: get guardianship, I'm able to put Haley on my insurance.

698
00:32:25,760 --> 00:32:28,400
Speaker 2: Putting Haley on my insurance gives her access to world

699
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:31,760
Speaker 2: class medical care for less than what I'm currently paying. Stupid,

700
00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,520
Speaker 2: speaking of me paying for medical care, I already pay

701
00:32:35,560 --> 00:32:38,720
Speaker 2: for Haley's health insurance, premiums, her insulin, her gluecose, monitors

702
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:43,000
Speaker 2: and insulin pumps, her glasses and contacts, doctor copays, labs,

703
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:46,480
Speaker 2: and everything else that comes up. Additionally, I contribute towards

704
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:50,240
Speaker 2: her father's mortgage. Oh my gosh. I occasionally help with utilities.

705
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:53,200
Speaker 2: I've sent grocery gift cards to the house before. This

706
00:32:53,280 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 2: man is not able to provide for his daughter, and

707
00:32:55,440 --> 00:32:57,280
Speaker 2: I was sick of paying this much for her to

708
00:32:57,440 --> 00:33:00,760
Speaker 2: still not be adequately cared for. I saw him down,

709
00:33:01,120 --> 00:33:03,000
Speaker 2: showed him all that I was doing, and told him

710
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,840
Speaker 2: to do it himself and take care of his kid

711
00:33:04,920 --> 00:33:06,400
Speaker 2: or give her to me and let me do it.

712
00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,800
Speaker 2: I'm not going to pay for subpar healthcare, inadequate nutrition,

713
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:13,080
Speaker 2: cramped living spaces, et cetera any more. But that's the

714
00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:13,680
Speaker 2: end of that story.

715
00:33:13,680 --> 00:33:14,760
Speaker 4: It's just the way it is.

716
00:33:14,840 --> 00:33:15,240
Speaker 2: Dude.

717
00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:17,960
Speaker 1: Hey, it's Sam, your og host here. We're going to

718
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:19,560
Speaker 1: get back to the stories, but here's three minutes of

719
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:20,560
Speaker 1: ads from our sponsors.

720
00:33:21,240 --> 00:33:24,760
Speaker 3: My sister skipped my wedding because of my open queer marriage.

721
00:33:25,040 --> 00:33:26,920
Speaker 2: Well that's a stinker.

722
00:33:26,560 --> 00:33:29,440
Speaker 4: And that's directly from the case story Time Celebarated.

723
00:33:29,560 --> 00:33:31,560
Speaker 3: I thirty one female, just got married to my partner

724
00:33:31,640 --> 00:33:33,600
Speaker 3: James thirty one mail about a week ago.

725
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:35,479
Speaker 4: We lived just outside London.

726
00:33:35,600 --> 00:33:38,360
Speaker 3: We're both by and in an ethnically non monogamous marriage,

727
00:33:38,400 --> 00:33:43,360
Speaker 3: specifically poly schmactual not traditional polyamory. Our relationship is honest,

728
00:33:43,360 --> 00:33:45,800
Speaker 3: consensual and works beautifully for us. By the way, this

729
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:48,760
Speaker 3: comes from user Alternative Pee thirty eight forty three. And

730
00:33:48,800 --> 00:33:50,960
Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

731
00:33:51,000 --> 00:33:52,440
Speaker 3: the r slashowcase story Time subret it.

732
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 4: I'm Dakota, I'm Angie, and we're here to give you

733
00:33:54,520 --> 00:33:54,880
Speaker 4: good advice.

734
00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:56,560
Speaker 3: Goofully, But we don't have all the answers We only

735
00:33:56,600 --> 00:33:57,680
Speaker 3: know what we would do, so if you would do

736
00:33:57,680 --> 00:34:01,240
Speaker 3: something different, let us know when the comments and My

737
00:34:01,320 --> 00:34:04,120
Speaker 3: younger sister, Sarah twenty nine, female, lives in Texas with

738
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:07,080
Speaker 3: her husband David. They are devout Christians in a very

739
00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:11,080
Speaker 3: traditional patriarchal marriage. At her wedding in October twenty twenty four,

740
00:34:11,239 --> 00:34:13,600
Speaker 3: she actually used vows that said she would submit to

741
00:34:13,640 --> 00:34:15,960
Speaker 3: her husband. It was hard for me to sit there

742
00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:20,040
Speaker 3: and not audibly reject that. I fundamentally disagree with that framework,

743
00:34:20,080 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 3: but I still chose to show up, support her and

744
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:25,759
Speaker 3: celebrate her big day because she's my sister. We were

745
00:34:25,760 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 3: both raised Evangelical Christian. The difference is that I started

746
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:32,560
Speaker 3: deconstructing from that religion during university and have since built

747
00:34:32,600 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 3: a life, marriage, and personal value system that reflects who

748
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:38,480
Speaker 3: I truly am. I'm familiar with her faith intimately, but

749
00:34:38,520 --> 00:34:42,160
Speaker 3: I reject simply following religious dogma without question. To me,

750
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 3: it's not virtuous to blindly accept harmful teachings from childhood.

751
00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:48,399
Speaker 3: It's far more meaningful to examine, choose, and live by

752
00:34:48,480 --> 00:34:51,920
Speaker 3: values that align with compassion, honesty, and my lived experience.

753
00:34:52,560 --> 00:34:54,680
Speaker 3: Months ago, Sarah told me she couldn't come to my

754
00:34:54,719 --> 00:34:57,279
Speaker 3: wedding because she couldn't take time off work. But just

755
00:34:57,320 --> 00:34:59,879
Speaker 3: a few days before the wedding, at the absolute peak

756
00:34:59,880 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 3: of wedding chaos and emotional stress, she called me crying

757
00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:05,920
Speaker 3: and admitted the real reason is she can't support my

758
00:35:06,040 --> 00:35:09,239
Speaker 3: marriage because it's open and queer and she believes it

759
00:35:09,239 --> 00:35:10,760
Speaker 3: would be harmful for children.

760
00:35:11,520 --> 00:35:15,279
Speaker 2: Yukes, bigs, yikes there, yikes on bikes. Even could have

761
00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 2: just kept all that to yourself and said I'm happy

762
00:35:17,480 --> 00:35:19,080
Speaker 2: for you, sister. Yeah, dude.

763
00:35:19,200 --> 00:35:23,800
Speaker 4: Choosing that moment to unload her judgment and refusal felt

764
00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:26,719
Speaker 4: incredibly immature and unfair. That was devastating.

765
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:29,160
Speaker 3: I had made the choice to separate my values from

766
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:31,399
Speaker 3: my love and celebrate her wedding even though it went

767
00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:33,880
Speaker 3: against my beliefs. She didn't do the same for me.

768
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,239
Speaker 3: After my wedding, she sent me a long message saying

769
00:35:37,280 --> 00:35:40,840
Speaker 3: she loves me unconditionally and has never judged my marriage,

770
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,080
Speaker 3: only felt worry and not judgment.

771
00:35:43,360 --> 00:35:47,960
Speaker 2: That really is not exactly what happens. I love you unconditionally,

772
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,719
Speaker 2: but I can't. I'm crying because I can't go to

773
00:35:50,760 --> 00:35:54,120
Speaker 2: your wedding because it's it's silly, it is illegal.

774
00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:56,319
Speaker 4: We're just playing with what words mean. Now, that's all

775
00:35:56,320 --> 00:35:56,719
Speaker 4: we're doing.

776
00:35:56,880 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, not attending my wedding is judgment by death NIS.

777
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,200
Speaker 3: Judgment means forming an opinion and acting on it. She

778
00:36:03,320 --> 00:36:06,920
Speaker 3: decided my marriage was unacceptable and withheld support. That's the

779
00:36:07,040 --> 00:36:10,280
Speaker 3: very definition of judgment. To me, it feels like conditional

780
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:14,400
Speaker 3: love dressed up as unconditional love. I also see her

781
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:18,279
Speaker 3: behavior as more Pharisee than Jesus. Jesus spent his time

782
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:22,400
Speaker 3: with the people society rejected, offering compassion and not condemnation.

783
00:36:22,640 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 4: Do not judge, or you too will be judged. Matthew seven.

784
00:36:25,680 --> 00:36:28,200
Speaker 3: One love one another as I have loved you, so

785
00:36:28,320 --> 00:36:32,120
Speaker 3: you must love one another. John thirteen thirty four. If

786
00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:34,560
Speaker 3: she wants to live as a Christian withholding love and presence,

787
00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:37,200
Speaker 3: isn't christ Like? On top of that, her harm to

788
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:40,799
Speaker 3: children argument is false. Research is clear. The APA and

789
00:36:40,880 --> 00:36:43,560
Speaker 3: decades of studies show kids of queer parents thrive just

790
00:36:43,600 --> 00:36:47,240
Speaker 3: as well as any others. Studies of polyimerius and ethical

791
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 3: non monogamous families find children often benefit from honesty, multiple

792
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:54,479
Speaker 3: supportive adults, and open communication. The only consistent harm comes

793
00:36:54,480 --> 00:36:58,640
Speaker 3: from stigma and judgment from outsiders. Exactly what her disapproval adds,

794
00:36:59,120 --> 00:37:02,240
Speaker 3: and ethical non monogamy itself is not harmful. In fact,

795
00:37:02,760 --> 00:37:06,120
Speaker 3: cheating is rampant in traditional marriages. Twenty to twenty five

796
00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:09,920
Speaker 3: percent admit to cheating. Some studies estimate up to sixty

797
00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:13,680
Speaker 3: percent over a lifetime. Cheating runs on lies and betrayal.

798
00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:17,840
Speaker 3: Ethical nominogamy runs on consent, honesty, and transparency. It is

799
00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:21,680
Speaker 3: literally the ethical alternative. So yes, I feel gas lip

800
00:37:21,680 --> 00:37:24,359
Speaker 3: when she says she's never judged. That's her trying to

801
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:27,960
Speaker 3: rewrite reality. Her love feels conditional. She'll love me as

802
00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:30,080
Speaker 3: long as my choices fit her beliefs.

803
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:33,400
Speaker 4: I don't accept that. Hopefully your sister can come to

804
00:37:33,560 --> 00:37:34,879
Speaker 4: accept that.

805
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:41,200
Speaker 2: Uh, this is what it is, you know, yeah, I think, yeah, whatever.

806
00:37:41,640 --> 00:37:45,480
Speaker 2: It feels like she's so wishy washy on her like

807
00:37:45,640 --> 00:37:48,560
Speaker 2: opinions in a way, like she knows what she thinks

808
00:37:48,560 --> 00:37:50,840
Speaker 2: and how she feels, but like her actions really aren't

809
00:37:50,840 --> 00:37:53,120
Speaker 2: matching up with it at all, and they keep changing

810
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:56,160
Speaker 2: and her explanation keeps changing for those So I feel

811
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,960
Speaker 2: like all you can really duop is just like react

812
00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:01,160
Speaker 2: how you naturally would a person like this and then

813
00:38:01,239 --> 00:38:04,920
Speaker 2: just be like, yeah, I don't know like it feels

814
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,920
Speaker 2: very judgmental, even though you're saying it's not, it feels

815
00:38:08,000 --> 00:38:10,040
Speaker 2: very judgmental. So I'm gonna this is I don't want

816
00:38:10,040 --> 00:38:12,520
Speaker 2: to be around you as much. It's just natural consequences.

817
00:38:12,560 --> 00:38:13,560
Speaker 4: It's just the way it is.

818
00:38:13,840 --> 00:38:15,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the way it's.

819
00:38:15,360 --> 00:38:15,680
Speaker 4: Got to be.

820
00:38:15,760 --> 00:38:18,400
Speaker 3: Now, yeap, Well, let's finish this. What I need going

821
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 3: forward is accountability. I want her to acknowledge that her

822
00:38:22,160 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 3: absence was judgmental and disrespectful, and I want an apology.

823
00:38:26,680 --> 00:38:30,799
Speaker 3: Without that, her unconditional love doesn't hold weight and for boundaries,

824
00:38:30,840 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 3: If she can't respect my marriage, then she loses access

825
00:38:33,560 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 3: to it. No commentary, no judgment, no gossip, not to

826
00:38:37,160 --> 00:38:39,759
Speaker 3: me and not to others. I do love her, and

827
00:38:39,840 --> 00:38:42,000
Speaker 3: I'd like to keep a bond, but only if she

828
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,600
Speaker 3: can act with actual respect. So here's my question. Am

829
00:38:45,600 --> 00:38:47,360
Speaker 3: I right to call her actions judgment?

830
00:38:47,520 --> 00:38:47,759
Speaker 4: Yes?

831
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:50,840
Speaker 3: And how do I hold these boundaries firmly, including asking

832
00:38:50,840 --> 00:38:54,200
Speaker 3: for an apology without getting pulled into her reframing? That

833
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,440
Speaker 3: makes me doubt my own reality and that is the

834
00:38:56,480 --> 00:38:59,680
Speaker 3: end of that story. Honestly, I don't think her reframing

835
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:00,920
Speaker 3: should make you doubt anything.

836
00:39:01,360 --> 00:39:01,600
Speaker 10: I think.

837
00:39:01,960 --> 00:39:03,920
Speaker 3: I think it's very clear that you think what you think,

838
00:39:03,920 --> 00:39:04,880
Speaker 3: and you feel how you feel.

839
00:39:05,360 --> 00:39:08,680
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know. Don't let somebody else's thoughts to.

840
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:11,920
Speaker 3: Worm their way into your brain when you've already separated

841
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:13,280
Speaker 3: yourself from that whole arena.

842
00:39:13,560 --> 00:39:15,920
Speaker 2: Yeah you know. And that's the end of this story.

843
00:39:16,040 --> 00:39:18,160
Speaker 2: We're going on to the next one.

844
00:39:18,480 --> 00:39:22,280
Speaker 10: My friend's husband tried to ditch her after surgery, so.

845
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:24,800
Speaker 5: I had to step in and ditch him back.

846
00:39:25,120 --> 00:39:26,120
Speaker 2: I apologize if.

847
00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,399
Speaker 10: The title is a little misleading, It's not as bad

848
00:39:28,440 --> 00:39:31,319
Speaker 10: as it makes it seem. That's still pretty terrible. My

849
00:39:31,360 --> 00:39:35,560
Speaker 10: friend has an unreliable partner who is now her husband Tough.

850
00:39:35,800 --> 00:39:40,160
Speaker 10: They've had problems regarding his insensitivity and unreliability. By the way,

851
00:39:40,239 --> 00:39:43,279
Speaker 10: this comes from Dazzling Brush nine zero zero five. And

852
00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 10: if you want to spit your own stories, go to

853
00:39:45,000 --> 00:39:48,400
Speaker 10: the r slash Okay storytime separate it. I'm Sophia, I'm Curly,

854
00:39:48,440 --> 00:39:49,000
Speaker 10: and we're here.

855
00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:49,520
Speaker 2: To give good advice.

856
00:39:49,560 --> 00:39:51,759
Speaker 10: Goofy, But we don't have all the answers. We only

857
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:53,600
Speaker 10: know what we'd do, So let us know what you

858
00:39:53,640 --> 00:39:56,520
Speaker 10: would do in the comments, and OP says basically, her

859
00:39:56,600 --> 00:40:00,000
Speaker 10: husband doesn't want to do anything that inconveniences his comfort

860
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:03,440
Speaker 10: and fun. So if it means thinking about other people,

861
00:40:03,719 --> 00:40:07,879
Speaker 10: namely her, and having to do something instead of say,

862
00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:11,319
Speaker 10: playing with his band or watching TV, he doesn't want

863
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:11,719
Speaker 10: to do it.

864
00:40:11,920 --> 00:40:12,200
Speaker 2: Well.

865
00:40:12,320 --> 00:40:15,600
Speaker 10: My friend is having surgery on Friday, a pretty serious

866
00:40:15,640 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 10: surgery that will incapacitate her for.

867
00:40:17,800 --> 00:40:18,960
Speaker 2: About eight weeks.

868
00:40:19,440 --> 00:40:21,120
Speaker 10: I told her I would be there on the day

869
00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:23,240
Speaker 10: of and hang out until she was out of surgery.

870
00:40:23,239 --> 00:40:25,840
Speaker 10: It's going to be a long day, but I promised

871
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,920
Speaker 10: her i'd be there. Her husband is going to be

872
00:40:27,960 --> 00:40:29,879
Speaker 10: taking her in and all that. Her and I had

873
00:40:29,880 --> 00:40:32,560
Speaker 10: a discussion over the weekend about his ability to step

874
00:40:32,640 --> 00:40:35,279
Speaker 10: up to the plate and take care of her while

875
00:40:35,320 --> 00:40:38,799
Speaker 10: she is recovering. She will need help with walking and

876
00:40:38,960 --> 00:40:41,279
Speaker 10: managing her meds so she can stay ahead of the pain.

877
00:40:41,480 --> 00:40:43,719
Speaker 10: I told her I did not trust him at all

878
00:40:43,920 --> 00:40:45,560
Speaker 10: to be there for her, and that I would be

879
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:48,440
Speaker 10: texting him often to make sure he's doing his job.

880
00:40:48,600 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 2: She was all, no, it's going to step up to

881
00:40:51,080 --> 00:40:52,279
Speaker 2: the plate. I trust him.

882
00:40:52,680 --> 00:40:55,600
Speaker 10: At first she hadn't and had planned to make meals

883
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:57,319
Speaker 10: for herself so he could heat them up for her

884
00:40:57,440 --> 00:40:59,839
Speaker 10: and clean the house for him. Then yesterday she told

885
00:40:59,920 --> 00:41:01,680
Speaker 10: me she wasn't going to do any of that, and

886
00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,040
Speaker 10: she's going to trust he will take care of her.

887
00:41:04,280 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 2: Ooh, this seems like a recipe for disaster.

888
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:08,800
Speaker 5: I'm worried.

889
00:41:08,920 --> 00:41:10,240
Speaker 2: He just asked me if.

890
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:12,040
Speaker 10: I would take care of her the day after surgery

891
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,480
Speaker 10: so he could go hang out with friends. Oh my god,

892
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:19,160
Speaker 10: the day after Oh my god, the first day of recovering,

893
00:41:19,239 --> 00:41:22,160
Speaker 10: and he's already ready to bounce. I thought about it,

894
00:41:22,280 --> 00:41:25,360
Speaker 10: fuming and concluded that no, I would not do that

895
00:41:25,440 --> 00:41:28,359
Speaker 10: for him. A he promised her he would take care

896
00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:30,880
Speaker 10: of her. B I don't want to set a precedent

897
00:41:30,880 --> 00:41:32,680
Speaker 10: that he'll just call on me when he wants to

898
00:41:32,760 --> 00:41:35,360
Speaker 10: ditch her, because I can see that happening very easily,

899
00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:39,000
Speaker 10: and see if he told her now what he was planning,

900
00:41:39,080 --> 00:41:41,600
Speaker 10: it would have caused a fight between them two days

901
00:41:42,080 --> 00:41:45,040
Speaker 10: before her surgery, and she's already anxious about that.

902
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:46,359
Speaker 2: I didn't want to add to it.

903
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:48,600
Speaker 10: If this was week two and he needed a break,

904
00:41:48,640 --> 00:41:50,680
Speaker 10: I totally get it and would be over there.

905
00:41:50,840 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 2: But this is day one.

906
00:41:53,400 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 6: Now.

907
00:41:53,719 --> 00:41:57,600
Speaker 10: The question is do I tell her about this, not now, obviously,

908
00:41:57,640 --> 00:42:00,480
Speaker 10: but when she's well enough to receive it. Yes, yes,

909
00:42:02,000 --> 00:42:05,880
Speaker 10: Oh my goodness, receipts, show the receipts. Yeah, hopefully this

910
00:42:06,000 --> 00:42:07,160
Speaker 10: is a text conversation.

911
00:42:07,560 --> 00:42:09,560
Speaker 6: Even if it's not, I feel like she knows that

912
00:42:09,600 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 6: he's unreliable.

913
00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:10,879
Speaker 2: Yah.

914
00:42:11,239 --> 00:42:14,839
Speaker 10: Yeah, absolutely, And there is an update, but not ripe

915
00:42:14,840 --> 00:42:15,560
Speaker 10: for surgery.

916
00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:18,879
Speaker 5: But no, after she's healing for a while. I feel

917
00:42:18,880 --> 00:42:21,279
Speaker 5: like you can still do it in that eight weeks though.

918
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:24,479
Speaker 10: Yeah, I agree, because she'll she'll feel it, she'll see it.

919
00:42:24,440 --> 00:42:25,800
Speaker 2: Not showing up exactly.

920
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:29,239
Speaker 10: Update turns out I didn't have to tell her.

921
00:42:29,560 --> 00:42:33,439
Speaker 2: He told on himself. Oh my god, I don't even

922
00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:35,759
Speaker 2: know why I would you know, I don't know. I

923
00:42:35,800 --> 00:42:37,440
Speaker 2: didn't see that coming genuinely.

924
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:37,759
Speaker 9: Same.

925
00:42:38,080 --> 00:42:39,000
Speaker 2: Why would he care?

926
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:43,880
Speaker 10: Why would he be about her? I just got a

927
00:42:43,920 --> 00:42:46,440
Speaker 10: message from her about it. Let's see how this goes.

928
00:42:46,640 --> 00:42:50,680
Speaker 10: Keep y'all updated, and there is an update right here. Well,

929
00:42:50,880 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 10: he told her that he asked me to, as he

930
00:42:53,280 --> 00:42:56,600
Speaker 10: put it, baby sit her. You just told your wife

931
00:42:56,640 --> 00:43:01,240
Speaker 10: that you ask someone else to babysit. She is upset,

932
00:43:01,280 --> 00:43:04,399
Speaker 10: but mostly I think she's just tired and disappointed in him.

933
00:43:04,600 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 10: I asked her if he told her to test the

934
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:08,920
Speaker 10: waters and see if he could just leave while she

935
00:43:09,000 --> 00:43:12,319
Speaker 10: was sleeping. She said yes, because he said, you'll just

936
00:43:12,360 --> 00:43:15,360
Speaker 10: be sleeping, right, She said nothing, And finally he worked

937
00:43:15,360 --> 00:43:19,040
Speaker 10: it out himself that since it was her first day home,

938
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:22,440
Speaker 10: he should stay with her. I told her, when she's better,

939
00:43:22,520 --> 00:43:25,000
Speaker 10: she asks decisions to make. She said, in his mind,

940
00:43:25,040 --> 00:43:27,480
Speaker 10: he thinks if he can get someone to babysit her

941
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:30,879
Speaker 10: and do the fun thing, then in his mind it's

942
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:33,239
Speaker 10: a win win. I told her he's a selfish prick.

943
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:37,400
Speaker 10: And there are some relevant comments. Oh, man, I assume

944
00:43:37,440 --> 00:43:39,240
Speaker 10: those Well, the comments are just going to be answering.

945
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:41,240
Speaker 2: The should I tell her.

946
00:43:41,320 --> 00:43:44,880
Speaker 10: Which he doesn't even know, doesn't even matter anymore because

947
00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:45,920
Speaker 10: she's already told.

948
00:43:46,040 --> 00:43:48,160
Speaker 6: We should have guessed that he was going to tell

949
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:50,879
Speaker 6: on himself. Oh, the fact that he just fully was like, yeah,

950
00:43:50,920 --> 00:43:52,680
Speaker 6: I really think like your friend should babysit you.

951
00:43:52,880 --> 00:43:56,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, baby, baby, you just called your wife a baby.

952
00:43:56,920 --> 00:43:58,800
Speaker 5: She's having major shirt.

953
00:43:58,920 --> 00:44:02,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, she'd have a major So that's insane. Yeah, divorce,

954
00:44:03,080 --> 00:44:03,480
Speaker 2: that's it.

955
00:44:03,840 --> 00:44:06,839
Speaker 10: And he's consistently shown a pattern of not showing up

956
00:44:06,920 --> 00:44:10,680
Speaker 10: and then when she needs him most, he still can't

957
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:10,920
Speaker 10: do it.

958
00:44:11,120 --> 00:44:13,399
Speaker 6: Yeah, because it's not like it was like, oh, I'm

959
00:44:13,440 --> 00:44:15,319
Speaker 6: having surgery and now he's not showing up.

960
00:44:15,360 --> 00:44:17,400
Speaker 5: It's like, yeah, bro, he hasn't been.

961
00:44:17,880 --> 00:44:21,960
Speaker 10: Never never relevant comments common one says, yes, tell her neutrally,

962
00:44:22,200 --> 00:44:23,320
Speaker 10: as if it's not an issue.

963
00:44:23,520 --> 00:44:24,480
Speaker 2: This is how i'd play it.

964
00:44:24,600 --> 00:44:27,000
Speaker 10: Hey, your husband let me know he was looking for

965
00:44:27,040 --> 00:44:29,240
Speaker 10: help on day two and I'm sorry, I'm not free,

966
00:44:29,280 --> 00:44:31,920
Speaker 10: but if you are really desperate, you can call me

967
00:44:32,120 --> 00:44:35,760
Speaker 10: after X time. You can do her a favor after

968
00:44:36,000 --> 00:44:40,080
Speaker 10: he's failed. He gets no favors. Consider being free that

969
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:43,280
Speaker 10: day when she calls, because you know he's almost certainly.

970
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:44,200
Speaker 2: Going to bail on her anyway.

971
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:46,359
Speaker 10: Maybe over meal prep a bit so you can leave

972
00:44:46,360 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 10: a few things in her freezer, but only after he's

973
00:44:49,160 --> 00:44:52,879
Speaker 10: failed to feed her. Let him fail first, then help her.

974
00:44:53,239 --> 00:44:57,880
Speaker 10: Never ever cover for him in advance, be luckily able

975
00:44:57,880 --> 00:45:00,560
Speaker 10: to help when he doesn't perform, She has to feel

976
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:04,240
Speaker 10: his failure first. Unfortunately, nothing but that anxiety and suffering.

977
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:06,840
Speaker 10: He is going to teach her op, he says, good idea.

978
00:45:07,160 --> 00:45:08,919
Speaker 2: Letting him fail first, and he will.

979
00:45:09,120 --> 00:45:11,279
Speaker 10: I am seriously wondering if you will find a way

980
00:45:11,320 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 10: to leave her. On Saturday and his friend knows his

981
00:45:14,640 --> 00:45:16,960
Speaker 10: wife is having surgery, why would you ask if he

982
00:45:16,960 --> 00:45:17,640
Speaker 10: could come out.

983
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:20,000
Speaker 2: Knowing that what the heck comment too. Yeah, that's a

984
00:45:20,000 --> 00:45:22,600
Speaker 2: great point. Yeah, that's very true too. But also I

985
00:45:23,000 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 2: can't imagine this guy has very good friends.

986
00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:28,479
Speaker 6: I also can't imagine that it's considering he doesn't really

987
00:45:28,960 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 6: care about his wife that's out here being like.

988
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,080
Speaker 5: And the wife's got surgery.

989
00:45:32,800 --> 00:45:36,759
Speaker 10: She's got the wife's got really like serious surgery.

990
00:45:36,880 --> 00:45:38,239
Speaker 2: I should be home, but I'm not.

991
00:45:38,719 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 5: I would guess they don't.

992
00:45:39,960 --> 00:45:42,719
Speaker 10: Know, yeah, or or he's just saying like, oh, yeah,

993
00:45:42,840 --> 00:45:45,560
Speaker 10: she's sick, Yeah she's she said, I'm sleeping mine or

994
00:45:45,640 --> 00:45:48,839
Speaker 10: procedure Comment two says absolutely let her know that her

995
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,040
Speaker 10: husband didn't want to do even this little bit for

996
00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:54,520
Speaker 10: she probably already knows, though Opie says she does know.

997
00:45:54,840 --> 00:45:56,120
Speaker 2: I think she's hoping for the best.

998
00:45:56,160 --> 00:45:59,000
Speaker 10: And yeah, she does make excuses for him and will

999
00:45:59,080 --> 00:46:02,319
Speaker 10: even say she is making excuses for him while doing it.

1000
00:46:02,560 --> 00:46:03,840
Speaker 2: I think in her mind.

1001
00:46:03,600 --> 00:46:07,000
Speaker 10: She is thinking that surely he wouldn't ditch her so soon,

1002
00:46:07,680 --> 00:46:10,000
Speaker 10: or wouldn't do it while she's recovering from something that

1003
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:12,400
Speaker 10: requires a lot of help. I told her when she

1004
00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:14,960
Speaker 10: was making plans to make meals for herself that she

1005
00:46:15,040 --> 00:46:17,319
Speaker 10: really had to think long and hard about how much

1006
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:20,879
Speaker 10: pretwork she's doing for herself because she knows how unreliable

1007
00:46:20,880 --> 00:46:23,799
Speaker 10: and selfish she is. I'm not entirely sure what made

1008
00:46:23,800 --> 00:46:26,040
Speaker 10: her change her mind about that. Think she was offended

1009
00:46:26,080 --> 00:46:28,080
Speaker 10: when I told her I had absolutely no faith in

1010
00:46:28,160 --> 00:46:30,319
Speaker 10: him at all to step up. And now here we are.

1011
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:34,040
Speaker 10: Why did Opie's friend marry that guy? Opie says, I

1012
00:46:34,120 --> 00:46:36,680
Speaker 10: questioned her when she did, based on the problems they

1013
00:46:36,680 --> 00:46:39,440
Speaker 10: were already having for this kind of behavior. I think

1014
00:46:39,480 --> 00:46:42,239
Speaker 10: she fell into the trap of marrying his potential and

1015
00:46:42,239 --> 00:46:45,200
Speaker 10: not who he really is. Comment three says I wouldn't

1016
00:46:45,239 --> 00:46:47,560
Speaker 10: tell her she doesn't need to worry before surgery.

1017
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:49,040
Speaker 2: Tell her husband, no.

1018
00:46:49,160 --> 00:46:50,920
Speaker 10: You can't help on day one, and I'll have to

1019
00:46:50,960 --> 00:46:53,759
Speaker 10: manage himself and see what happens from there. Either he

1020
00:46:53,800 --> 00:46:56,399
Speaker 10: manages and things go well, or he doesn't and your

1021
00:46:56,440 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 10: friend finds out how important she is to her husband

1022
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:01,680
Speaker 10: in the scheme of things. Honestly, this feels like a

1023
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,360
Speaker 10: moment where the future of their relationship could go two ways.

1024
00:47:04,440 --> 00:47:05,880
Speaker 10: So I would try to stay out of it as

1025
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:08,439
Speaker 10: much as possible. And Opie says she has talked about

1026
00:47:08,520 --> 00:47:11,480
Speaker 10: leaving him over the past several months since his selfishness

1027
00:47:11,520 --> 00:47:15,200
Speaker 10: is epic, and he never takes responsibility for his actions.

1028
00:47:15,200 --> 00:47:17,239
Speaker 10: When he's called out on it, he'll pull the I

1029
00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:19,879
Speaker 10: don't like your tone card when she tries to talk

1030
00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:22,120
Speaker 10: to him, and makes it about that if I had

1031
00:47:22,160 --> 00:47:24,920
Speaker 10: a nickel for every time she's called me after an

1032
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:29,000
Speaker 10: argument and asks am I crazy? Because he gasped her

1033
00:47:29,040 --> 00:47:31,319
Speaker 10: in some way. I definitely don't want to tell her now,

1034
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:34,160
Speaker 10: not before surgery, though I do wonder if he will

1035
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:37,879
Speaker 10: find another way to go, maybe ask another friend of hers.

1036
00:47:38,280 --> 00:47:40,000
Speaker 10: He told me in the text he hadn't talked to

1037
00:47:40,040 --> 00:47:41,719
Speaker 10: her about it, that he was waiting to see what

1038
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:45,080
Speaker 10: I'd say first, and does Opie's friend and her husband

1039
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:48,360
Speaker 10: of kids. Opie says, the sad thing is he does

1040
00:47:48,480 --> 00:47:50,799
Speaker 10: have a child with his previous wife. Annie has a

1041
00:47:50,920 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 10: terrible relationship with his kid because he never took an

1042
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:55,239
Speaker 10: active interest in him.

1043
00:47:55,440 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 2: It is always wild.

1044
00:47:57,280 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 10: To me when people get into relationships with people who

1045
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:03,920
Speaker 10: have kids that they don't care about.

1046
00:48:04,120 --> 00:48:05,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, shocking to me.

1047
00:48:05,800 --> 00:48:09,200
Speaker 6: And then to be shocked that he's like inconsidered about you.

1048
00:48:09,400 --> 00:48:11,360
Speaker 6: He's not even taking care of his kid, yea, his

1049
00:48:11,560 --> 00:48:12,800
Speaker 6: own kid, And.

1050
00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:15,359
Speaker 10: You know, maybe there's people out there who are like, well,

1051
00:48:15,480 --> 00:48:17,960
Speaker 10: I don't want kids, so you know, I don't really

1052
00:48:18,040 --> 00:48:19,360
Speaker 10: need him to be a good father.

1053
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:22,160
Speaker 5: But it's like that shows up himself.

1054
00:48:22,320 --> 00:48:24,120
Speaker 2: That shows up everywhere.

1055
00:48:24,320 --> 00:48:27,240
Speaker 10: We've read a couple stories where partner, like the Opie's

1056
00:48:27,280 --> 00:48:29,400
Speaker 10: will tell us, oh, yeah, my partner, you know, he

1057
00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:31,680
Speaker 10: doesn't have a great relationship with his child. I'm like,

1058
00:48:31,960 --> 00:48:35,560
Speaker 10: whoa blazing red flag. His kid is an adult now

1059
00:48:35,560 --> 00:48:38,240
Speaker 10: and wants nothing to do with him. Maybe we should

1060
00:48:38,239 --> 00:48:41,720
Speaker 10: look into that. Opie's friend, Well, no, she doesn't want kids,

1061
00:48:41,960 --> 00:48:44,239
Speaker 10: and he already has one from a previous marriage, which

1062
00:48:44,280 --> 00:48:46,120
Speaker 10: is probably in her mind where she's like, oh, it

1063
00:48:46,160 --> 00:48:48,480
Speaker 10: doesn't matter because I don't want kids anyway, he's never

1064
00:48:48,520 --> 00:48:50,960
Speaker 10: gonna have to raise a kid with me. Is it

1065
00:48:51,000 --> 00:48:54,760
Speaker 10: possible for the husband to get therapy? Opie says, Also

1066
00:48:54,880 --> 00:48:58,680
Speaker 10: he refuses to get therapy, And there is a third update.

1067
00:48:58,760 --> 00:49:02,520
Speaker 10: Oh my god, I hope it's my friend had her surgery,

1068
00:49:02,520 --> 00:49:04,280
Speaker 10: it went well, and she's getting a divorce.

1069
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:07,880
Speaker 6: I hope it's my friend had a surgery, it went well,

1070
00:49:08,040 --> 00:49:10,040
Speaker 6: her husband took care of her, but she's still getting

1071
00:49:10,080 --> 00:49:10,719
Speaker 6: a divorce.

1072
00:49:10,640 --> 00:49:12,960
Speaker 10: Still divorcing him because of all the times that he

1073
00:49:12,960 --> 00:49:13,560
Speaker 10: didn't show.

1074
00:49:13,480 --> 00:49:15,960
Speaker 5: Up like I hope. Maybe he was actually there. The

1075
00:49:16,120 --> 00:49:18,240
Speaker 5: bare minimum up date.

1076
00:49:18,160 --> 00:49:20,080
Speaker 2: Three five days later.

1077
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:24,719
Speaker 10: Hello, the surgery went well yay, so I will start there.

1078
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:26,960
Speaker 10: It was a long day and she didn't get home

1079
00:49:27,040 --> 00:49:28,280
Speaker 10: until after midnight.

1080
00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:28,759
Speaker 2: Oh wow.

1081
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:31,399
Speaker 10: She told me her husband was doing a great job

1082
00:49:31,400 --> 00:49:34,200
Speaker 10: when I checked in on her on Saturday, and when

1083
00:49:34,200 --> 00:49:37,480
Speaker 10: I checked in on Sunday he was still holding strong.

1084
00:49:37,880 --> 00:49:41,840
Speaker 10: And then came Sunday evening, she sent me a message

1085
00:49:41,880 --> 00:49:44,680
Speaker 10: that his care was slipping, but not to message him

1086
00:49:44,680 --> 00:49:47,239
Speaker 10: about it. However, he's working from home right now, which

1087
00:49:47,280 --> 00:49:49,239
Speaker 10: was up in the air last week. Hopefully he'll do

1088
00:49:49,280 --> 00:49:51,160
Speaker 10: that the rest of the week. I told her on

1089
00:49:51,200 --> 00:49:54,080
Speaker 10: Friday that if she asks me for something to come over,

1090
00:49:54,320 --> 00:49:57,319
Speaker 10: do something for her, et cetera, I'll do it, but

1091
00:49:57,360 --> 00:49:59,960
Speaker 10: not if he asks, I will not bail him out.

1092
00:50:00,280 --> 00:50:02,520
Speaker 10: She agreed with me on that he has a class

1093
00:50:02,520 --> 00:50:05,080
Speaker 10: on Wednesday evening that he teaches, so she asked me

1094
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:07,120
Speaker 10: if I could come over while he's gone, I'll get

1095
00:50:07,120 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 10: even more intel than I am sure. She did say

1096
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:12,520
Speaker 10: he was pretty shaken on Saturday when he saw how

1097
00:50:12,560 --> 00:50:15,200
Speaker 10: weak she was and how difficult it is for her

1098
00:50:15,239 --> 00:50:16,239
Speaker 10: to move around.

1099
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:18,280
Speaker 2: Hopefully I'll stay the course, but who knows.

1100
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 10: Thank you for all who commented on my last post.

1101
00:50:21,840 --> 00:50:24,120
Speaker 10: I told her about it, and she got a punt

1102
00:50:24,160 --> 00:50:24,600
Speaker 10: out of it.

1103
00:50:24,719 --> 00:50:27,640
Speaker 6: I really wanted him to slip up.

1104
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:30,160
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, so far we've gotten your two out of three.

1105
00:50:30,280 --> 00:50:31,120
Speaker 5: This is true.

1106
00:50:31,200 --> 00:50:34,600
Speaker 10: Yeah, it's still on its way. It's it could still

1107
00:50:34,600 --> 00:50:36,560
Speaker 10: be on its way to your three.

1108
00:50:36,400 --> 00:50:37,880
Speaker 5: At writing, Like, I don't want to say that.

1109
00:50:37,920 --> 00:50:39,279
Speaker 6: I hope, Like I know, I was like, I hope

1110
00:50:39,320 --> 00:50:41,160
Speaker 6: he slips up, but like, I don't hope for that

1111
00:50:41,239 --> 00:50:42,279
Speaker 6: because that affects her.

1112
00:50:42,520 --> 00:50:44,680
Speaker 5: Yeah, but I do hope that she realizes.

1113
00:50:44,840 --> 00:50:45,839
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all I want.

1114
00:50:45,880 --> 00:50:47,600
Speaker 10: I want her to get help that she needs and

1115
00:50:47,640 --> 00:50:50,400
Speaker 10: also realize that this guy sucked. I'll say that he

1116
00:50:50,440 --> 00:50:52,680
Speaker 10: did try to float the idea to her on Wednesday

1117
00:50:52,760 --> 00:50:56,319
Speaker 10: night of going out because she'd been sleeping anyway. She

1118
00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:59,000
Speaker 10: told him that I refused to babysit her because I

1119
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:01,320
Speaker 10: felt it was in a opriate for him to bail

1120
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:05,120
Speaker 10: on her after surgery, deshrugged drugged. She told them she

1121
00:51:05,200 --> 00:51:07,080
Speaker 10: agreed with me, and that he has a history of

1122
00:51:07,120 --> 00:51:09,399
Speaker 10: not being better when she needs him and bailing when

1123
00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:12,080
Speaker 10: things get hard. So this was an opportunity for him

1124
00:51:12,120 --> 00:51:14,880
Speaker 10: to step up to the plate. We shall see what happens.

1125
00:51:15,160 --> 00:51:17,440
Speaker 10: And Common one she sent me a message that his

1126
00:51:17,560 --> 00:51:19,440
Speaker 10: care was slipping, but not to message him about it.

1127
00:51:19,520 --> 00:51:20,160
Speaker 2: Ya da dada.

1128
00:51:20,200 --> 00:51:22,880
Speaker 10: I hope friend doesn't cave under the notion will he

1129
00:51:23,000 --> 00:51:28,080
Speaker 10: did more than I expected? Op says same. Their entire

1130
00:51:28,200 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 10: relationship has been incredibly imbalanced. He can't even be bothered

1131
00:51:32,160 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 10: to remember her birthday right, oh my gosh, and as

1132
00:51:36,640 --> 00:51:39,640
Speaker 10: of this year, be there for it. Common two says

1133
00:51:39,640 --> 00:51:41,640
Speaker 10: she needs to get out of that relationship while she

1134
00:51:41,719 --> 00:51:45,200
Speaker 10: still can. It's not gonna get any better. Opie says,

1135
00:51:45,239 --> 00:51:48,120
Speaker 10: I don't think it's going to happen anytime soon or ever.

1136
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,279
Speaker 10: I've known her for over ten years and she has

1137
00:51:51,320 --> 00:51:54,320
Speaker 10: talked about leaving him for lesser infractions, and it still

1138
00:51:54,480 --> 00:51:57,239
Speaker 10: hasn't happened. I don't believe she will until she does,

1139
00:51:57,360 --> 00:51:59,360
Speaker 10: you know what I mean. Comment three says, what he's

1140
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:03,440
Speaker 10: constantly negotiating the least amount of effort that she will accept.

1141
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:08,000
Speaker 10: It speaks volumes to his lack of quality. Common force us,

1142
00:52:08,040 --> 00:52:11,240
Speaker 10: it's so unfair. His refusal to care for her body

1143
00:52:11,280 --> 00:52:14,319
Speaker 10: when in such a vulnerable state is a refusal to

1144
00:52:14,360 --> 00:52:17,080
Speaker 10: care for her heart as well. Nobody's heart should be

1145
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:19,000
Speaker 10: breaking when their body is in a fight to recover.

1146
00:52:19,200 --> 00:52:21,600
Speaker 10: Would he accept this from her if the tides were reversed.

1147
00:52:21,840 --> 00:52:23,920
Speaker 10: I think that And that is the end of the story.

1148
00:52:24,560 --> 00:52:26,480
Speaker 1: Hey, it's janio Ogost here. We're gonna get back to

1149
00:52:26,480 --> 00:52:28,080
Speaker 1: the stories. But he's a quick three minute break of

1150
00:52:28,120 --> 00:52:29,080
Speaker 1: ass from our sponsors.

1151
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:33,000
Speaker 6: My best friend hid an open relationship from me and

1152
00:52:33,040 --> 00:52:34,440
Speaker 6: it ruined everything.

1153
00:52:34,680 --> 00:52:36,080
Speaker 2: Why'd you go and do that?

1154
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 6: And this comes directly from the Okay storytime subreddit. I

1155
00:52:40,360 --> 00:52:43,239
Speaker 6: twenty seven female had been friends with Sarah twenty seven

1156
00:52:43,280 --> 00:52:47,319
Speaker 6: female literally since kindergarten. We grew up in the same neighborhood.

1157
00:52:47,440 --> 00:52:50,799
Speaker 6: Our families were close and my family loves her. Her

1158
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:54,160
Speaker 6: parents have always loved me, and to this day still

1159
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:57,399
Speaker 6: care for and ask about me to my parents. By

1160
00:52:57,400 --> 00:53:00,160
Speaker 6: the way this comes from, my name is not And

1161
00:53:00,200 --> 00:53:02,279
Speaker 6: if you want to submit your own stories, go to

1162
00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:05,000
Speaker 6: the r slash Okay storytime subreddit, which is where this

1163
00:53:05,040 --> 00:53:09,000
Speaker 6: is from. And I'm Carly, I'm Sophia, and we're here

1164
00:53:09,040 --> 00:53:11,680
Speaker 6: to give good advice goofully, But we don't have all

1165
00:53:11,719 --> 00:53:13,880
Speaker 6: the answers. We only know what we would do, so

1166
00:53:13,960 --> 00:53:15,680
Speaker 6: let us know what you would do. In the comments

1167
00:53:15,880 --> 00:53:21,200
Speaker 6: and OPI says, Sarah is diagnosed with a chronic psychiatric disorder,

1168
00:53:21,560 --> 00:53:23,759
Speaker 6: and I was one of the only people close to

1169
00:53:23,800 --> 00:53:26,440
Speaker 6: her who knew about this From a young age. I

1170
00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:28,759
Speaker 6: was the person who went with her to all of

1171
00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:31,920
Speaker 6: her doctor's appointments for support. I talked to her every

1172
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,280
Speaker 6: day on the phone to help her sleep. I helped

1173
00:53:34,400 --> 00:53:37,759
Speaker 6: organize and set up alarms for her to wake up

1174
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:41,520
Speaker 6: in time. This was all in my preteens.

1175
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:41,920
Speaker 5: And high school years.

1176
00:53:42,120 --> 00:53:45,440
Speaker 6: Because of her diagnosis, she often got away with small

1177
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:48,080
Speaker 6: remarks about me. She would always pick on me for

1178
00:53:48,120 --> 00:53:51,480
Speaker 6: being too skinny because she was overweight, just so she

1179
00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:54,120
Speaker 6: could complain about me not going to the gym with her.

1180
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:56,319
Speaker 6: Same thing when it came to who I hung out with,

1181
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:59,200
Speaker 6: or if I invited her to family gatherings or not,

1182
00:53:59,360 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 6: I would always just brush off her comments and tantrums.

1183
00:54:02,520 --> 00:54:06,160
Speaker 6: I had piano class twice a week, horseback writing lessons

1184
00:54:06,200 --> 00:54:08,880
Speaker 6: twice a week. I was an a student and also

1185
00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:12,800
Speaker 6: worked or visited family during holidays and other cities, and

1186
00:54:13,000 --> 00:54:13,399
Speaker 6: went to.

1187
00:54:13,400 --> 00:54:15,000
Speaker 5: Church three times a week.

1188
00:54:15,040 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 2: Three times. That's not even like the recommended.

1189
00:54:18,360 --> 00:54:21,760
Speaker 6: Amount She was also a very productive student and worked

1190
00:54:21,800 --> 00:54:25,600
Speaker 6: really hard. She is an only child to elderly immigrant parents,

1191
00:54:25,680 --> 00:54:27,720
Speaker 6: which has forced her to care for them in different

1192
00:54:27,719 --> 00:54:30,319
Speaker 6: ways than I would have, so I tried to help

1193
00:54:30,400 --> 00:54:32,440
Speaker 6: as much as I could in my friendship with her,

1194
00:54:32,560 --> 00:54:34,840
Speaker 6: since we went to school together and also lived in

1195
00:54:34,880 --> 00:54:37,400
Speaker 6: the same area. Of course, she was the one I

1196
00:54:37,400 --> 00:54:41,480
Speaker 6: would talk to about boys. It was the typical BFF

1197
00:54:41,560 --> 00:54:44,560
Speaker 6: talks about all our phantasies for the future, what we

1198
00:54:44,719 --> 00:54:47,040
Speaker 6: liked in boys, and how we wanted life to look.

1199
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:50,400
Speaker 6: She always knew who I had crushes on. The summer

1200
00:54:50,440 --> 00:54:53,279
Speaker 6: before we started high school, she and I were in

1201
00:54:53,320 --> 00:54:55,480
Speaker 6: a mall and she told me her cousin would be

1202
00:54:55,520 --> 00:54:58,400
Speaker 6: passing by. That was the first time I met my

1203
00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:00,720
Speaker 6: ex Adrian already mail.

1204
00:55:00,760 --> 00:55:03,200
Speaker 2: Whoa he was thirty at the time.

1205
00:55:03,880 --> 00:55:08,919
Speaker 10: Wait yeah, yeah, yeah, this is like her future soon

1206
00:55:08,960 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 10: to be boyfriend now currently now yeah.

1207
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:13,320
Speaker 5: So they were three years apart.

1208
00:55:13,560 --> 00:55:17,440
Speaker 6: Clarify at the time, he had just graduated high school,

1209
00:55:17,480 --> 00:55:20,640
Speaker 6: but was intrigued by me as well as I was

1210
00:55:20,760 --> 00:55:21,200
Speaker 6: in him.

1211
00:55:21,360 --> 00:55:22,360
Speaker 2: How old were you?

1212
00:55:22,480 --> 00:55:23,920
Speaker 5: Three years younger than him?

1213
00:55:24,120 --> 00:55:25,960
Speaker 2: So okay, so he's probably like eighteen.

1214
00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:29,080
Speaker 5: Or nineteen Yeah, okay, so okay.

1215
00:55:29,400 --> 00:55:30,360
Speaker 2: She's like fifteen.

1216
00:55:30,480 --> 00:55:33,120
Speaker 6: Yeah, you know, I don't really like that age gap

1217
00:55:33,200 --> 00:55:36,560
Speaker 6: when one of you is out of high school, when

1218
00:55:36,600 --> 00:55:39,040
Speaker 6: one of you is already I agree, you met in

1219
00:55:39,120 --> 00:55:41,960
Speaker 6: high school dating and then someone graduated.

1220
00:55:42,200 --> 00:55:44,560
Speaker 10: Sure, I think that's okay. But the meeting when they're

1221
00:55:44,600 --> 00:55:47,520
Speaker 10: outside of high school, I'm like, you.

1222
00:55:47,600 --> 00:55:50,719
Speaker 6: Just get different places in your life. Sarah put me

1223
00:55:50,760 --> 00:55:53,480
Speaker 6: in contact with Adrian because she saw that I was

1224
00:55:53,560 --> 00:55:56,640
Speaker 6: intrigued by him and she knew he would like someone

1225
00:55:56,680 --> 00:55:59,640
Speaker 6: like me. That summer, we talked on the phone every day,

1226
00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:02,400
Speaker 6: and that is also how I started texting and talking

1227
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:05,200
Speaker 6: to Adrian. For a short period during the summer, he

1228
00:56:05,239 --> 00:56:08,520
Speaker 6: would stop answering and was very distant at times. We

1229
00:56:08,560 --> 00:56:11,320
Speaker 6: spoke just before me and Sarah were starting high school

1230
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:13,840
Speaker 6: and agreed that it would be better to stay friends

1231
00:56:13,960 --> 00:56:16,200
Speaker 6: since he was leaving to study in the States and

1232
00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:17,240
Speaker 6: I live in Europe.

1233
00:56:17,520 --> 00:56:19,760
Speaker 5: Wow, that would be very long distance.

1234
00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:23,080
Speaker 6: Six months went and me and Adrian were in contact

1235
00:56:23,160 --> 00:56:26,000
Speaker 6: back and forth as friends through message, while Sarah was

1236
00:56:26,080 --> 00:56:28,719
Speaker 6: also kind of in contact with him and kind of

1237
00:56:28,840 --> 00:56:31,319
Speaker 6: kept my interest in him alive. She would talk about

1238
00:56:31,360 --> 00:56:34,160
Speaker 6: how good he is, how much he likes me. Then

1239
00:56:34,160 --> 00:56:36,399
Speaker 6: I should tell him how I feel When I came

1240
00:56:36,440 --> 00:56:38,680
Speaker 6: to her after six months to tell her about a

1241
00:56:38,760 --> 00:56:41,279
Speaker 6: boy in my class that I was interested in. She

1242
00:56:41,520 --> 00:56:45,359
Speaker 6: pressured me into talking to Adrian about it. I told him,

1243
00:56:45,440 --> 00:56:48,480
Speaker 6: and the exact reaction he gave was what my friend

1244
00:56:48,760 --> 00:56:49,839
Speaker 6: told me about him.

1245
00:56:50,040 --> 00:56:52,240
Speaker 5: We decided to be exclusive.

1246
00:56:51,680 --> 00:56:54,400
Speaker 6: And he had openly told me he loves me and

1247
00:56:54,440 --> 00:56:59,160
Speaker 6: that I am now his Oh that's concerning language. We

1248
00:56:59,200 --> 00:57:02,000
Speaker 6: started dating law long distance, and most of our communication

1249
00:57:02,160 --> 00:57:05,960
Speaker 6: was through text. Adrian was weirdly very private, and I

1250
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:08,080
Speaker 6: always felt for the excuse that he had a lot

1251
00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:11,640
Speaker 6: of school, was busy surviving, and then it is normal

1252
00:57:11,680 --> 00:57:14,400
Speaker 6: for a boyfriend to not respond for a month or

1253
00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:15,000
Speaker 6: so A.

1254
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:20,760
Speaker 2: Month month, what a couple times? Oh my god.

1255
00:57:21,520 --> 00:57:23,640
Speaker 10: I saw my boy friend yesterday and it had been

1256
00:57:23,680 --> 00:57:25,760
Speaker 10: like a day. He was like, oh, we haven't sitting

1257
00:57:25,800 --> 00:57:26,120
Speaker 10: each other.

1258
00:57:26,200 --> 00:57:26,920
Speaker 2: That's age.

1259
00:57:27,800 --> 00:57:30,960
Speaker 6: After a month, I'm considering us broken up.

1260
00:57:31,080 --> 00:57:37,720
Speaker 10: I way sooner than after a week of no contact.

1261
00:57:38,080 --> 00:57:40,400
Speaker 6: I'm going a couple of days ago contact, I'm like,

1262
00:57:40,440 --> 00:57:41,320
Speaker 6: I'm losing hope.

1263
00:57:41,480 --> 00:57:44,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, what, I'm calling the.

1264
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:47,040
Speaker 5: Cops for three days, Like, Hey, I'm not sure if

1265
00:57:47,040 --> 00:57:48,080
Speaker 5: this man's a lie?

1266
00:57:48,400 --> 00:57:52,160
Speaker 2: He's gone. Yeah, that's crazy.

1267
00:57:52,360 --> 00:57:56,080
Speaker 6: He was always in contact with Sarah though she knew everything.

1268
00:57:56,320 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 6: Weird things started happening in our relationship whenever something was

1269
00:57:59,840 --> 00:58:02,440
Speaker 6: going on in my life, where Sarah was mad at

1270
00:58:02,440 --> 00:58:05,240
Speaker 6: me for continuing to live my life according to my

1271
00:58:05,320 --> 00:58:06,400
Speaker 6: other priorities.

1272
00:58:06,640 --> 00:58:10,440
Speaker 10: Okay, why is like her cousin so involved in his

1273
00:58:11,240 --> 00:58:15,480
Speaker 10: his younger cousins like friendships. It feels like he's like

1274
00:58:15,520 --> 00:58:16,200
Speaker 10: her lackey.

1275
00:58:16,680 --> 00:58:20,160
Speaker 6: Yeah, Adrian cheated on me six months into our relationship,

1276
00:58:20,320 --> 00:58:25,240
Speaker 6: and Sarah convinced me to stay with him. Three months later,

1277
00:58:25,440 --> 00:58:28,400
Speaker 6: Sarah and his roommate tells me he has the same

1278
00:58:28,480 --> 00:58:32,000
Speaker 6: condition that Sarah has. I didn't even dare asking him

1279
00:58:32,000 --> 00:58:33,960
Speaker 6: to text me or skype me when I wanted to,

1280
00:58:34,120 --> 00:58:35,640
Speaker 6: because he needed his space.

1281
00:58:36,040 --> 00:58:38,320
Speaker 5: I was merely a girlfriend.

1282
00:58:37,720 --> 00:58:39,640
Speaker 6: That would talk to him on his good days and

1283
00:58:39,840 --> 00:58:41,480
Speaker 6: leave him alone during.

1284
00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:42,280
Speaker 5: His bad days.

1285
00:58:42,680 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 6: Three years into this chaotic relationship.

1286
00:58:46,600 --> 00:58:50,320
Speaker 2: Three years, I'm sorry one at least three years one

1287
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:54,800
Speaker 2: count one. It's long distance, so they're doing three years long.

1288
00:58:54,600 --> 00:58:58,960
Speaker 10: Distance where he's going M I A for months at

1289
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:01,240
Speaker 10: a time and cheats on her.

1290
00:59:01,600 --> 00:59:02,840
Speaker 2: This is crazy.

1291
00:59:03,080 --> 00:59:06,600
Speaker 6: I was admitted to the hospital and undergoing treatment for

1292
00:59:06,760 --> 00:59:10,440
Speaker 6: three weeks. I had a few fights during my stay

1293
00:59:10,440 --> 00:59:13,840
Speaker 6: there with Sarah, regarding the fact that the hospital wouldn't

1294
00:59:13,840 --> 00:59:16,200
Speaker 6: allow her there at the same time as my family.

1295
00:59:16,520 --> 00:59:19,120
Speaker 5: I started asking her why Adrian wouldn't.

1296
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:21,040
Speaker 6: Call her text me when I'm sick, and I started

1297
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:23,880
Speaker 6: questioning the fact that he couldn't at least give one

1298
00:59:24,000 --> 00:59:26,360
Speaker 6: minute to say hi to me because of the school

1299
00:59:26,400 --> 00:59:29,200
Speaker 6: work and his periods. One day later, I get a

1300
00:59:29,200 --> 00:59:33,040
Speaker 6: message from him where he initiates the conversation by being

1301
00:59:33,080 --> 00:59:36,200
Speaker 6: mad at me for not telling him myself that I

1302
00:59:36,320 --> 00:59:40,040
Speaker 6: was sick. I started distancing myself from him completely. During

1303
00:59:40,080 --> 00:59:44,320
Speaker 6: this time, I also gained a very close friend, thank God. Yeah,

1304
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:46,720
Speaker 6: she was there for me as a stranger, and we

1305
00:59:46,800 --> 00:59:50,200
Speaker 6: started hanging out more and more. Sarah did not like this.

1306
00:59:50,600 --> 00:59:53,600
Speaker 6: She had a bad period and required my attention all

1307
00:59:53,600 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 6: the time. Eventually she started speaking less and less about Adrian.

1308
00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:00,680
Speaker 6: Mind you, we were still together at this time, and

1309
01:00:00,720 --> 01:00:02,240
Speaker 6: I hadn't heard much from him.

1310
01:00:02,600 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 10: What do you mean you were still together and you

1311
01:00:04,920 --> 01:00:06,400
Speaker 10: hadn't heard much from him?

1312
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:09,560
Speaker 2: You were still dating. It's been a couple of months

1313
01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:10,960
Speaker 2: since we really talked.

1314
01:00:11,160 --> 01:00:17,520
Speaker 6: Thought I go on a holiday with my family. I

1315
01:00:17,560 --> 01:00:20,600
Speaker 6: got a phone call from Sarah during one of the evenings.

1316
01:00:20,760 --> 01:00:23,240
Speaker 6: I hear that she is shaking in her voice.

1317
01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:24,520
Speaker 5: She tells me this.

1318
01:00:25,000 --> 01:00:28,080
Speaker 6: Oh no, no, no, no.

1319
01:00:29,040 --> 01:00:30,480
Speaker 2: I don't even want to say no.

1320
01:00:31,440 --> 01:00:35,160
Speaker 6: Adrian and I are in fact not cousins in a

1321
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:39,480
Speaker 6: biological way. They met through family friends, and they were

1322
01:00:39,800 --> 01:00:42,280
Speaker 6: actually a couple before.

1323
01:00:41,880 --> 01:00:43,160
Speaker 5: Me and him were a thing.

1324
01:00:43,640 --> 01:00:45,960
Speaker 2: Adrian needs to go on a list. See.

1325
01:00:46,040 --> 01:00:49,320
Speaker 6: I really thought like this was in fact the direction

1326
01:00:49,400 --> 01:00:51,360
Speaker 6: I thought this was growing. I just thought they were

1327
01:00:51,400 --> 01:00:53,440
Speaker 6: fully gonna be biological cousins.

1328
01:00:53,480 --> 01:00:57,880
Speaker 2: No, it's happened before. Oh my god.

1329
01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:00,800
Speaker 6: During the summer when we connected and they were out

1330
01:01:00,800 --> 01:01:03,880
Speaker 6: of the country together, she was actually still with him,

1331
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:07,479
Speaker 6: but they were in an open relationship, which basically meant

1332
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:10,320
Speaker 6: she wanted to date, and he used me as an

1333
01:01:10,360 --> 01:01:13,840
Speaker 6: excuse for her to end the open relationship. He told

1334
01:01:13,880 --> 01:01:17,320
Speaker 6: her that he would pursue me during their open relationship,

1335
01:01:17,440 --> 01:01:21,800
Speaker 6: and she decided to end that constellation because she cared

1336
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:24,640
Speaker 6: for me. That's also when he started distancing himself.

1337
01:01:24,840 --> 01:01:29,840
Speaker 2: Ah, Obie, I'm so sorry. Oh my goodness, you have

1338
01:01:29,920 --> 01:01:32,240
Speaker 2: as a really insane friend.

1339
01:01:32,520 --> 01:01:34,640
Speaker 6: Then she tells me that she cheated on him and

1340
01:01:34,720 --> 01:01:37,680
Speaker 6: they decided to end their relationship and he was actually

1341
01:01:37,720 --> 01:01:41,040
Speaker 6: falling for me. They ended it amicably. She tells me

1342
01:01:41,120 --> 01:01:43,160
Speaker 6: that a lot of the situations that had happened with

1343
01:01:43,240 --> 01:01:46,240
Speaker 6: him was them trying to get me to leave, since

1344
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:48,680
Speaker 6: he is so messed up and she wanted what was

1345
01:01:48,760 --> 01:01:51,479
Speaker 6: best for me. When he didn't text, he was going

1346
01:01:51,480 --> 01:01:54,800
Speaker 6: through depression and she was the only one who understood him.

1347
01:01:54,960 --> 01:01:57,560
Speaker 6: At the same time, she was the one who encouraged

1348
01:01:57,600 --> 01:02:00,480
Speaker 6: me to stay with him because he loved me so much.

1349
01:02:00,600 --> 01:02:03,880
Speaker 6: I have never in my life been this quiet, and

1350
01:02:04,120 --> 01:02:07,720
Speaker 6: the shock and confusion took over my anger. I sat

1351
01:02:07,760 --> 01:02:10,560
Speaker 6: there on my bed and was told that three years

1352
01:02:10,600 --> 01:02:15,120
Speaker 6: of my life have been fabricated, manipulated, and altered by

1353
01:02:15,200 --> 01:02:18,560
Speaker 6: not only my partner, but also my best friend. I

1354
01:02:18,640 --> 01:02:22,000
Speaker 6: sat there for an hour, just trying to express my feelings,

1355
01:02:22,080 --> 01:02:23,120
Speaker 6: but I couldn't know.

1356
01:02:23,480 --> 01:02:25,280
Speaker 5: Instead, I forgave her.

1357
01:02:27,760 --> 01:02:30,720
Speaker 6: I ended it with Adrian the same day. For a

1358
01:02:30,720 --> 01:02:33,520
Speaker 6: month or two, I pretended like nothing had happened. I

1359
01:02:33,600 --> 01:02:38,040
Speaker 6: felt fooled, controlled, stupid, naive, and all of the above,

1360
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,720
Speaker 6: but I couldn't do more than to move on and

1361
01:02:40,840 --> 01:02:43,320
Speaker 6: try to save an inch of normality.

1362
01:02:42,840 --> 01:02:43,960
Speaker 5: Left in this situation.

1363
01:02:44,280 --> 01:02:48,040
Speaker 6: I would question situations over and over again, not knowing

1364
01:02:48,080 --> 01:02:51,200
Speaker 6: if that was even Adrian speaking or if it was

1365
01:02:51,280 --> 01:02:53,200
Speaker 6: Sarah who wrote me through him.

1366
01:02:53,560 --> 01:02:54,920
Speaker 5: After high school graduation.

1367
01:02:55,240 --> 01:02:58,600
Speaker 6: It was my first summer fully away from Sarah and Adrian.

1368
01:02:59,120 --> 01:03:02,200
Speaker 6: I was of dream age. They both don't like drinking

1369
01:03:02,240 --> 01:03:04,640
Speaker 6: and would judge me on it. I was living my

1370
01:03:04,960 --> 01:03:08,360
Speaker 6: best life when she was away. That summer changed my life.

1371
01:03:08,400 --> 01:03:12,160
Speaker 6: Before Sarah returned, I had met my now husband, Patrick

1372
01:03:12,360 --> 01:03:14,960
Speaker 6: twenty nine mail at the time, he was twenty one.

1373
01:03:15,160 --> 01:03:17,880
Speaker 6: I told Sarah as my friend that I had met someone,

1374
01:03:17,960 --> 01:03:20,600
Speaker 6: and she was excited for me. She was returning home

1375
01:03:20,720 --> 01:03:23,040
Speaker 6: a couple of weeks later, and we had been on

1376
01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:27,080
Speaker 6: good terms during that period through distance calls. When she returned,

1377
01:03:27,240 --> 01:03:29,880
Speaker 6: she tells me when we meet that she has actually

1378
01:03:29,920 --> 01:03:35,520
Speaker 6: been in contact with Patrick through Instagram news. She told

1379
01:03:35,560 --> 01:03:37,840
Speaker 6: me to call him and ask about this and to

1380
01:03:37,840 --> 01:03:40,760
Speaker 6: put him on speaker. I did, and when I asked him,

1381
01:03:40,760 --> 01:03:43,320
Speaker 6: he responded with a what the f are you talking about?

1382
01:03:43,360 --> 01:03:43,800
Speaker 5: Sentence?

1383
01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:46,240
Speaker 6: And she hung up the phone on him and then

1384
01:03:46,280 --> 01:03:48,959
Speaker 6: proceeds to tell me that her gut instinct was off

1385
01:03:49,040 --> 01:03:49,640
Speaker 6: with him.

1386
01:03:49,800 --> 01:03:51,920
Speaker 5: I started ignoring her completely.

1387
01:03:52,400 --> 01:03:55,160
Speaker 6: I pursued my relationship with Patrick and he became my

1388
01:03:55,320 --> 01:03:59,120
Speaker 6: best friend and helped me through really rough times. One day,

1389
01:03:59,320 --> 01:04:01,600
Speaker 6: Sarah calls and tells me she wants to meet up

1390
01:04:01,640 --> 01:04:03,440
Speaker 6: now because she's feeling bad.

1391
01:04:04,000 --> 01:04:07,000
Speaker 2: I don't care, pep, that's me hanging out the fun.

1392
01:04:07,000 --> 01:04:09,360
Speaker 6: I told her I couldn't because I was with Patrick

1393
01:04:09,400 --> 01:04:13,400
Speaker 6: and his family nice. She totally flipped on me, called

1394
01:04:13,400 --> 01:04:16,040
Speaker 6: me a bad friend, told me I just respected her

1395
01:04:16,200 --> 01:04:19,040
Speaker 6: instinct and that all of her other friends listened to

1396
01:04:19,080 --> 01:04:22,360
Speaker 6: her advice. She then tells me Adriane is sick. He's

1397
01:04:22,400 --> 01:04:26,720
Speaker 6: having a psychotic meltdown period and also got a tattoo

1398
01:04:26,800 --> 01:04:29,320
Speaker 6: of me on his arm. I told her to stop

1399
01:04:29,360 --> 01:04:31,600
Speaker 6: talking about my ex with me out of respect of

1400
01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:32,520
Speaker 6: my relationship.

1401
01:04:32,880 --> 01:04:33,680
Speaker 2: That was it.

1402
01:04:34,160 --> 01:04:37,800
Speaker 6: She had another meltdown on text and I ignored. I

1403
01:04:38,000 --> 01:04:41,600
Speaker 6: totally ghosted her, moved out of the neighborhood, worked and

1404
01:04:41,640 --> 01:04:44,800
Speaker 6: studied at UNI. I got my own apartment, got myself

1405
01:04:44,880 --> 01:04:49,560
Speaker 6: new friends, matured out of that whole relationship. Four years later,

1406
01:04:49,920 --> 01:04:52,360
Speaker 6: Sarah called me asking for us to meet up, and

1407
01:04:52,440 --> 01:04:53,120
Speaker 6: I agreed.

1408
01:04:53,320 --> 01:04:54,280
Speaker 2: Oh.

1409
01:04:54,360 --> 01:04:56,760
Speaker 6: When we meet, she told me how she felt, and

1410
01:04:56,840 --> 01:05:01,640
Speaker 6: I told her everything I have ever I felt, seen, done,

1411
01:05:01,720 --> 01:05:04,200
Speaker 6: and heard from our relationship. I told her that her

1412
01:05:04,240 --> 01:05:06,800
Speaker 6: instincts messed my life up and that my new life

1413
01:05:06,840 --> 01:05:09,720
Speaker 6: is exactly what I wanted, and that she could never

1414
01:05:09,840 --> 01:05:12,480
Speaker 6: have that type of role in my life again. We

1415
01:05:12,520 --> 01:05:14,680
Speaker 6: can stay acquainted and get to know each other as

1416
01:05:14,760 --> 01:05:18,680
Speaker 6: adults now, but as an adult I have other boundaries.

1417
01:05:19,040 --> 01:05:20,240
Speaker 5: There's just a little bit left.

1418
01:05:20,640 --> 01:05:25,160
Speaker 10: Man oh man, yeah, ohp hold strong, don't honestly I

1419
01:05:25,200 --> 01:05:25,960
Speaker 10: would block her.

1420
01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:29,120
Speaker 5: I wouldn't even get crazy. We don't even need to

1421
01:05:29,160 --> 01:05:30,000
Speaker 5: know each other as adults.

1422
01:05:30,080 --> 01:05:31,600
Speaker 2: No, no, no, no no.

1423
01:05:31,840 --> 01:05:34,120
Speaker 10: Like, yeah, you might have been there for her so

1424
01:05:34,360 --> 01:05:36,760
Speaker 10: much as a kid, but like at this point, she

1425
01:05:36,840 --> 01:05:42,800
Speaker 10: has lied, manipulated, just been such an like comedically awful

1426
01:05:42,920 --> 01:05:46,360
Speaker 10: person that it doesn't even seem real.

1427
01:05:46,600 --> 01:05:51,040
Speaker 2: How awful she is. So block her. Never talk to

1428
01:05:51,080 --> 01:05:51,760
Speaker 2: her again.

1429
01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:54,560
Speaker 5: And enjoy your life with Patrick. Yeah.

1430
01:05:54,600 --> 01:05:57,760
Speaker 6: She actually accepted this and was just happy to be forgiven.

1431
01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:00,600
Speaker 6: She even met my husband and apologies guys for her

1432
01:06:00,640 --> 01:06:03,680
Speaker 6: misconception of him. She wished me a good life, and

1433
01:06:03,760 --> 01:06:06,480
Speaker 6: since then we have met maybe once every two years

1434
01:06:06,520 --> 01:06:08,720
Speaker 6: out of coincidence, and we are friendly.

1435
01:06:09,600 --> 01:06:11,480
Speaker 5: I have now been with my husband.

1436
01:06:11,120 --> 01:06:12,120
Speaker 2: For eight years.

1437
01:06:12,440 --> 01:06:15,920
Speaker 6: Everyone around us loves us. We are a big, blended family.

1438
01:06:16,400 --> 01:06:19,360
Speaker 6: And we are expecting soon as well. Sarah still lives

1439
01:06:19,360 --> 01:06:21,640
Speaker 6: at home, and I think she's working full time and

1440
01:06:21,800 --> 01:06:23,440
Speaker 6: managing her life accordingly.

1441
01:06:23,960 --> 01:06:24,800
Speaker 5: That is the end of this