1 00:00:05,640 --> 00:00:09,200 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to the Psychology of Your Twenties, 2 00:00:09,640 --> 00:00:11,920 Speaker 1: the podcast where we talk through some of the big 3 00:00:12,119 --> 00:00:15,880 Speaker 1: life changes and transitions of our twenties and what they 4 00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:24,360 Speaker 1: mean for our psychology. Hello everybody, or welcome back to 5 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 1: the show, or welcome back to the podcast. New listeners, 6 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:32,120 Speaker 1: old listeners, wherever you are in the world right now, 7 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:34,960 Speaker 1: it is so great to have you here back for 8 00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:38,840 Speaker 1: another episode. Before we begin, I'm just gonna say I'm 9 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,280 Speaker 1: a little bit under the weather. I unfortunately have COVID. 10 00:00:42,800 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: I know so sad. So if my voice is a 11 00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:50,400 Speaker 1: little bit quirky and gross, please do not DM me 12 00:00:50,640 --> 00:00:53,920 Speaker 1: saying that I sound weird. That is why it gets 13 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:56,639 Speaker 1: us all at some stage. So that's where we are 14 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,000 Speaker 1: at the moment. But it's not going to stop us 15 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:03,600 Speaker 1: from talking about today's topic, because today we're going to 16 00:01:03,640 --> 00:01:08,640 Speaker 1: talk about how we can stop overthinking and worrying about 17 00:01:08,760 --> 00:01:12,720 Speaker 1: the future. I think it is such a common experience 18 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 1: in our twenties to be filled with a lot of doubt, 19 00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:21,080 Speaker 1: a lot of insecurity, a lot of uncertainty about what's 20 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:23,840 Speaker 1: going to happen. You know, the world is so large, 21 00:01:24,240 --> 00:01:26,679 Speaker 1: we have so many choices, and there are so many 22 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:32,640 Speaker 1: unknowns that we can almost feel paralyzed with anxiety. And 23 00:01:32,880 --> 00:01:35,959 Speaker 1: I have been there. I'm sure you have to. Maybe 24 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:40,680 Speaker 1: you're worried about your career choices, whether you'll find a love, 25 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:44,639 Speaker 1: whether you'll be happy in ten years, making enough money, 26 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:51,400 Speaker 1: or even bigger existential questions around climate change and the economy. 27 00:01:51,480 --> 00:01:55,520 Speaker 1: It can be really, really crippling. But I also really 28 00:01:55,520 --> 00:01:59,680 Speaker 1: do believe that understanding our reaction and our fear of 29 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:04,600 Speaker 1: the future from a psychological perspective can be really liberating. 30 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 1: So we're going to break down some really incredible concepts 31 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:13,320 Speaker 1: today that relate to overthinking the future, from our natural 32 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:17,680 Speaker 1: stress response, to the paradox of choice, the illusion of control, 33 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:22,320 Speaker 1: self preservation since you know so much more so that 34 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 1: we can find freedom from anticipatory anxiety about the future. 35 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 1: The way I see it is that when you worry 36 00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:35,920 Speaker 1: about something, you take away from them now. And a 37 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:38,720 Speaker 1: really beautiful quote I heard the other day said that 38 00:02:38,760 --> 00:02:43,840 Speaker 1: when you worry about something, you experience it twice. Obviously 39 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:48,160 Speaker 1: we can understand that and know that our fears about 40 00:02:48,160 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 1: the future are irrational, but applying this wisdom is a 41 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:55,800 Speaker 1: lot more difficult. Trust me, I repeat those words to 42 00:02:55,880 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 1: myself so many times, and I still find myself awake 43 00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:05,400 Speaker 1: late into the afternoons, late into the evenings, paralyzed about 44 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:09,799 Speaker 1: what my future has in store. So alongside a discussion 45 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 1: of the origins of future spiraling, as I call it, 46 00:03:13,120 --> 00:03:16,240 Speaker 1: we're also going to walk through some of the psychological 47 00:03:16,480 --> 00:03:21,160 Speaker 1: tips from Buddhism to dancing and mind body work to 48 00:03:21,639 --> 00:03:25,519 Speaker 1: stay present and to stop worrying so much about what 49 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:28,639 Speaker 1: the future has in store for us. It's a big one. 50 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:33,080 Speaker 1: It's a deep and existential episode for sure, So without 51 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:38,080 Speaker 1: further ado, let's jump into it. This episode is dedicated 52 00:03:38,640 --> 00:03:43,560 Speaker 1: to the people like myself who find themselves spiraling and 53 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:47,240 Speaker 1: overthinking the future. It's dedicated to the people who are 54 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:51,480 Speaker 1: already worrying for themselves in five years, who are constantly 55 00:03:51,600 --> 00:03:57,280 Speaker 1: questioning their decisions, double guessing themselves, and stressed about life's 56 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:01,520 Speaker 1: many unknowns. I've been there, I am still there. So 57 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:06,800 Speaker 1: let's break it down together and dive into exactly how 58 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:18,400 Speaker 1: we can stop overthinking and worrying about our futures. I 59 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,359 Speaker 1: think it needs to be said, anxiety about the future 60 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 1: is an entirely natural response, as much as it is 61 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:31,679 Speaker 1: frustrating and overwhelming, Like I said before, life is full 62 00:04:31,760 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 1: of a lot of unknowns and novel experiences and situations 63 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 1: that we need to find ways to navigate, especially in 64 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:43,640 Speaker 1: our twenties. Much of what we're going through we are 65 00:04:43,720 --> 00:04:47,479 Speaker 1: experiencing for the first time as adults, and there is 66 00:04:47,520 --> 00:04:51,160 Speaker 1: no guidebook. There is no amount of advice that is 67 00:04:51,279 --> 00:04:53,800 Speaker 1: ever going to make us feel assured and that we're 68 00:04:53,839 --> 00:04:57,239 Speaker 1: making the right decisions, and that is really, really scary. 69 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:01,359 Speaker 1: I think our generation has also been forced to carry 70 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: the burden of some really intense existential problems, you know, 71 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,800 Speaker 1: worrying about the state of the climate, the state of 72 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:12,560 Speaker 1: our environment, about nuclear weapons, how the bees are doing, 73 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:17,159 Speaker 1: the economy, and even a potential recession. It's a lot 74 00:05:17,240 --> 00:05:21,400 Speaker 1: to take on. It's a lot to carry, especially when 75 00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:24,560 Speaker 1: we feel so hopeless and unable to change some of 76 00:05:24,560 --> 00:05:28,159 Speaker 1: those situations. You know. I'm always so surprised when I 77 00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:32,240 Speaker 1: come across news articles being like, why are millennials or 78 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:35,640 Speaker 1: twenty year old so anxious? Why are they turning away 79 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:38,240 Speaker 1: from traditional jobs? Why are they not happy with the 80 00:05:38,279 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 1: way things are? And it's like, well, when you're not 81 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:44,880 Speaker 1: sure you'll even have a future, how are we expected 82 00:05:45,240 --> 00:05:48,599 Speaker 1: to not feel anxious? I think that's an incredibly common 83 00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:51,520 Speaker 1: experience that unites a lot of us in this decade. 84 00:05:52,400 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 1: And here's the thing. It's really normal to feel almost 85 00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:01,640 Speaker 1: paralyzed or overwhelmed by the few. But what I really 86 00:06:01,640 --> 00:06:05,520 Speaker 1: want to do is explain some of the scientific and 87 00:06:05,760 --> 00:06:11,520 Speaker 1: psychological reasons why that occurs, particularly how it relates to 88 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:15,440 Speaker 1: concepts like stress and anxiety, how it relates to self 89 00:06:15,480 --> 00:06:21,840 Speaker 1: preservation and social comparison. Firstly, let's break down exactly why 90 00:06:22,200 --> 00:06:25,680 Speaker 1: some of us have what is essentially an elongated and 91 00:06:25,839 --> 00:06:29,400 Speaker 1: chronic sense of anxiety when it comes to that big question, 92 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:32,920 Speaker 1: what does the future hold? What am I going to do? 93 00:06:33,839 --> 00:06:38,640 Speaker 1: Stress is a natural response to uncertainty. When we are 94 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: exposed to an unknown situation, such as the prospect of 95 00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:49,599 Speaker 1: our future, our brain is naturally fearful because these situations, 96 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:54,200 Speaker 1: these unknown situations, could contain danger, and it wants us 97 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:58,960 Speaker 1: to be prepared, So it releases hormones like norah, pnephren 98 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:05,080 Speaker 1: and cortisol to prepare our bodies entirely, unconsciously to deal 99 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:08,359 Speaker 1: with what it perceives as a threat, even if that 100 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:14,400 Speaker 1: threat is years away. This feeling has another name. It's 101 00:07:14,440 --> 00:07:20,640 Speaker 1: called anticipatory anxiety. And this is the fear or dread 102 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:25,240 Speaker 1: you experience before an event even occurs. So if you 103 00:07:25,280 --> 00:07:31,360 Speaker 1: find yourself agonizing about the horrible unknown things that might happen, 104 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:37,040 Speaker 1: this is an indicator that you're experiencing anticipatory anxiety. And 105 00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:41,840 Speaker 1: it happens because our thoughts are focused on a possible 106 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:46,760 Speaker 1: future or a negative outcome that we don't feel prepared for. 107 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:53,400 Speaker 1: So if you notice yourself intensely focused on fearful, unwanted outcomes, 108 00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:58,960 Speaker 1: if you find yourself becoming really hopeless or frustrated that 109 00:07:59,080 --> 00:08:02,280 Speaker 1: you don't know what you're doing, if you're always expecting 110 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:07,080 Speaker 1: about outcome or having irrational thoughts about your future, like 111 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,560 Speaker 1: you know, if I don't make the right decision now, 112 00:08:09,600 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: I'm going to be miserable by thirty, or I'll be 113 00:08:12,920 --> 00:08:16,960 Speaker 1: destitute or have nothing, or I'm never going to find love. 114 00:08:17,720 --> 00:08:21,840 Speaker 1: Feeling that a rational sense of really intense fear and 115 00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:25,720 Speaker 1: feeling highly apprehensive is a sign that you might have 116 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:32,160 Speaker 1: anticipatory anxiety towards your future. You may have guessed this already, 117 00:08:32,880 --> 00:08:37,720 Speaker 1: but this has been linked across multiple studies to other 118 00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:45,319 Speaker 1: conditions such as generalized anxiety disorders and depression. That's because overthinking, 119 00:08:46,080 --> 00:08:49,240 Speaker 1: and a reaction of this nature is seen as a 120 00:08:49,280 --> 00:08:54,280 Speaker 1: byproduct of both of these conditions. The same neurons fire, 121 00:08:54,400 --> 00:08:59,679 Speaker 1: the body experiences the same thing. It's just in response 122 00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:02,360 Speaker 1: to a different trigger, and in this case a highly 123 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,640 Speaker 1: abstract one. It's in response to the trigger that is 124 00:09:05,800 --> 00:09:09,640 Speaker 1: our future. It's also no surprise that people who have 125 00:09:09,679 --> 00:09:14,480 Speaker 1: already received a diagnosis for these conditions tend to report 126 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:19,240 Speaker 1: higher rates of anticipatory anxiety compared to the general population. 127 00:09:19,679 --> 00:09:22,840 Speaker 1: So that is one reason why some of us have 128 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:27,760 Speaker 1: this irrational or consuming fear and worry about the future. 129 00:09:28,320 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: So why do our brains do this? Why do we 130 00:09:31,520 --> 00:09:36,400 Speaker 1: find ourselves spiraling and worrying often when we don't even 131 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:40,520 Speaker 1: want to, when we know it's illogical and it won't 132 00:09:40,520 --> 00:09:45,400 Speaker 1: help this situation anyway. We can't predict the future, but 133 00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:50,320 Speaker 1: our anxiety likes to convince us that we can. And 134 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:54,800 Speaker 1: this relates to the idea called the illusion of control. 135 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:59,120 Speaker 1: So as a species, we're not incredibly great with dealing 136 00:09:59,120 --> 00:10:02,640 Speaker 1: with the unknown, primarily because it makes us feel helpless 137 00:10:02,679 --> 00:10:05,560 Speaker 1: and therefore in danger. And this has a lot to 138 00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 1: do with self preservation, which is essentially our innate instinct 139 00:10:10,480 --> 00:10:15,800 Speaker 1: towards survival. We want to ensure our survival no matter what. 140 00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:20,559 Speaker 1: We want to be protected against potential danger or uncertainty. 141 00:10:21,160 --> 00:10:25,960 Speaker 1: So worrying about something like the future, mulling it over, 142 00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:32,040 Speaker 1: trying to prepare that feels strangely satisfying to us because 143 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:34,319 Speaker 1: it allows us to feel like we are in some 144 00:10:34,400 --> 00:10:38,480 Speaker 1: way in control and can be prepared for what is coming. 145 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:43,679 Speaker 1: So when we ruminate, it eases our anxiety because it 146 00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:47,400 Speaker 1: provides this sense that we are able to anticipate what 147 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:51,160 Speaker 1: will happen and know what to do regardless of the outcome. 148 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,679 Speaker 1: So this explains why I don't know if you've ever 149 00:10:54,720 --> 00:10:58,200 Speaker 1: had this really intense sense of like, oh my goodness, 150 00:10:58,520 --> 00:11:00,760 Speaker 1: I'm super lost, I don't what I want to do, 151 00:11:01,320 --> 00:11:04,880 Speaker 1: and you've sat down and you've almost journaled or written 152 00:11:04,880 --> 00:11:08,000 Speaker 1: out all the exact steps to get you when you 153 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: want to go. You know you've made a five year plan, 154 00:11:10,880 --> 00:11:14,080 Speaker 1: and afterwards you feel a lot better. You've put it 155 00:11:14,080 --> 00:11:19,000 Speaker 1: on the page, you've ruminated over it, you've given yourself 156 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,160 Speaker 1: some idea of a way forward. You've probably feel a 157 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,679 Speaker 1: lot better because it brings you a sense of control 158 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:28,480 Speaker 1: and you feel that you've been able to anticipate what 159 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:32,200 Speaker 1: the future holds, even for a second, so you're at peace. Well, 160 00:11:32,240 --> 00:11:35,800 Speaker 1: we know this isn't true. We don't have that control. 161 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:39,079 Speaker 1: Hence why it's called an illusion of control. Because as 162 00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:42,360 Speaker 1: much as we try to turn a situation over and 163 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:45,920 Speaker 1: over in our brain, as much as we try to plan, 164 00:11:46,559 --> 00:11:51,440 Speaker 1: and we sit worrying and contemplating, so much of our 165 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:56,199 Speaker 1: future is decided by you know, well, by fate, by luck, 166 00:11:56,520 --> 00:12:01,520 Speaker 1: by circumstances. We can never asipate. And that is not 167 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,800 Speaker 1: a bad thing, you know. As we always say on 168 00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 1: this show, the best outcomes always occur when you let 169 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 1: life surprise you. Time and time again. Life has given 170 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:16,280 Speaker 1: me its greatest gifts not when I least expected them, 171 00:12:16,920 --> 00:12:20,719 Speaker 1: but when I didn't expect them at all. And we're 172 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:24,000 Speaker 1: going to touch on this later, particularly how we can 173 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:29,080 Speaker 1: become comfortable with uncertainty. But that's another component of this, right, 174 00:12:29,120 --> 00:12:32,120 Speaker 1: this illusion of control. The reason that we worry is 175 00:12:32,120 --> 00:12:34,080 Speaker 1: because it gives us this sense that we know what 176 00:12:34,080 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 1: we're doing. There is this other unique aspect of our 177 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: twenties that I think also really contributes to this experience, 178 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:48,080 Speaker 1: to this natural worry about the future. Choice opportunities, open doors, 179 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 1: our twenties are really sold to us as this decade 180 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:56,680 Speaker 1: when the world is our oyster, it's at our fingertips. 181 00:12:56,840 --> 00:13:00,600 Speaker 1: We can do absolutely anything that we want when life 182 00:13:00,640 --> 00:13:05,800 Speaker 1: really begins. This initially sounds amazing. You know what's better 183 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:10,400 Speaker 1: then choice, What's better than endless freedom to determine our 184 00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:15,679 Speaker 1: own life path as independent, curious people. But choice in 185 00:13:15,720 --> 00:13:20,000 Speaker 1: this instance can actually be a double edged sword. And 186 00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:23,840 Speaker 1: I want to explain why. Back in the nineteen seventies, 187 00:13:24,360 --> 00:13:27,720 Speaker 1: a number of psychologists they wanted to understand how we 188 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:32,040 Speaker 1: make life decisions. So what they did they went out 189 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 1: into the world and they gave people a bunch of 190 00:13:34,760 --> 00:13:38,280 Speaker 1: decisions to make, and with that options to choose from. 191 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 1: But they found something really surprising. When people were given 192 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:48,680 Speaker 1: too many options, they became almost paralyzed, and they found 193 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,840 Speaker 1: it much harder to make a decision than when they 194 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:55,280 Speaker 1: had fewer choices. And this is what we call in 195 00:13:55,360 --> 00:14:00,960 Speaker 1: psychology choice overload, or the paradox of choice. We often 196 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:05,880 Speaker 1: think that having more options or doors open to us 197 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:10,120 Speaker 1: is incredibly liberating and it gives us agency, but it 198 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:16,200 Speaker 1: actually has the opposite impact. Making a decision becomes overwhelming, 199 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:21,200 Speaker 1: becomes fearful because we have so many potential outcomes and 200 00:14:21,400 --> 00:14:25,600 Speaker 1: risks that may result from making the wrong choice. Having 201 00:14:26,120 --> 00:14:32,200 Speaker 1: too many approximately equally good options is mentally draining because 202 00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:37,080 Speaker 1: each option must be weighted against alternatives to select the 203 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:40,760 Speaker 1: best one, and we become stuck. I just I have 204 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 1: to mention one of my favorite studies ever done here. 205 00:14:44,760 --> 00:14:48,240 Speaker 1: It was a study about jam, not really about jam, 206 00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:53,560 Speaker 1: but involving jam. So in two in the early two thousands, 207 00:14:53,600 --> 00:14:58,480 Speaker 1: these psychologists from Stanford University. They decided to set up 208 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,880 Speaker 1: a store at a local fi this market, and on 209 00:15:01,920 --> 00:15:05,480 Speaker 1: the first day they displayed twenty four different types of jams. 210 00:15:06,040 --> 00:15:08,720 Speaker 1: And then on the next day, at the same food market, 211 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:13,600 Speaker 1: they gave people the choice of only six jams. And well, 212 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,960 Speaker 1: what would you know, but when people were only given 213 00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:22,320 Speaker 1: six options, six choices of jams, they were much more 214 00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:26,560 Speaker 1: likely to purchase a jar. They were a lot less 215 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:31,600 Speaker 1: indecisive because they had less options. Now, this experiment, as 216 00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:35,360 Speaker 1: strange as it sounds, it can be applied to the 217 00:15:35,400 --> 00:15:40,320 Speaker 1: paralysis we experience when we're worrying about our future in 218 00:15:40,360 --> 00:15:45,160 Speaker 1: our twenties, and why we find ourselves almost unable to 219 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:50,400 Speaker 1: make a decision society, our family, our social environment, they 220 00:15:50,520 --> 00:15:53,520 Speaker 1: tell us that we can be anything. We can be 221 00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,960 Speaker 1: a doctor or a lawyer, or in marketing, or a 222 00:15:57,000 --> 00:16:01,640 Speaker 1: stay at home parent or a podcaster. And you know what, 223 00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 1: that's too many options. We only want six jams. We 224 00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:09,920 Speaker 1: only want six options. And when we begin questioning whether 225 00:16:09,960 --> 00:16:13,880 Speaker 1: we're making the right choice, whether we're closing any doors 226 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:19,280 Speaker 1: too prematurely, that's when we start to feel incredibly worried. 227 00:16:19,840 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 1: That's when that paralysis we were talking about, that indecision, 228 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:28,080 Speaker 1: that fear begins to take hold. And the other element 229 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,520 Speaker 1: of this that occurs at this age, whether you're twenty 230 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:35,040 Speaker 1: or even twenty nine, is that we haven't had enough 231 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:40,680 Speaker 1: life experiences to even know or begin to grapple with 232 00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:43,720 Speaker 1: the idea of what we want to do, what we 233 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:47,320 Speaker 1: even like, what is going to make us happy. We 234 00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:50,320 Speaker 1: might have some idea, but the truth is that we 235 00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:53,400 Speaker 1: haven't seen enough of the world to even know what's 236 00:16:53,400 --> 00:16:56,600 Speaker 1: out there. So our basis for this choice when it 237 00:16:56,640 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 1: comes to our future, our evidence is limited. We really 238 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:04,000 Speaker 1: don't know. And I know this can feel so scary, 239 00:17:04,320 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 1: but something that always reassures me is all those stories 240 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:12,760 Speaker 1: of the many wonderful people in the world who at 241 00:17:12,800 --> 00:17:18,240 Speaker 1: thirty five, at fifty, at seventy, they change careers, they 242 00:17:18,280 --> 00:17:22,120 Speaker 1: try something completely new, they go back to university, they 243 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:26,680 Speaker 1: start again. That is so incredible to me and an 244 00:17:26,680 --> 00:17:31,400 Speaker 1: amazing reminder that you are not locked into any future 245 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:37,760 Speaker 1: for yourself. You have agency, you can change. There is 246 00:17:37,880 --> 00:17:42,920 Speaker 1: nothing stopping you from deciding ten years from now that 247 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,800 Speaker 1: you might want something different and just going for it. 248 00:17:46,240 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 1: I think it can be really easy to fall into 249 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:51,639 Speaker 1: this trap that society is set for us, that tells 250 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,080 Speaker 1: us that we need to have it all figured out. 251 00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:58,520 Speaker 1: That is a lie that is just not true. Life 252 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:03,520 Speaker 1: is so weird and full of change and possibility, and 253 00:18:03,640 --> 00:18:07,000 Speaker 1: it's yours to go after. But before we move on, 254 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:09,280 Speaker 1: I do just want to talk about that misconception for 255 00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:13,360 Speaker 1: one second, because where does that even come from? I 256 00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,000 Speaker 1: really don't know, and it is such a source of 257 00:18:16,119 --> 00:18:20,040 Speaker 1: panic and uncertainty for so many people. So where did 258 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:23,320 Speaker 1: this myth that you need to know what you're doing begin? 259 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,520 Speaker 1: And I have a few theories, and of course there 260 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:29,280 Speaker 1: have been other people who've had their own theories and 261 00:18:29,520 --> 00:18:33,200 Speaker 1: conducted studies to figure it out. I don't think this 262 00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:36,680 Speaker 1: will surprise anyone, but it has a lot to do 263 00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:43,440 Speaker 1: with social comparison. We are very naturally inclined to compare 264 00:18:43,520 --> 00:18:48,560 Speaker 1: our progress and our decisions to those of others. Comparing 265 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:53,360 Speaker 1: ourselves to others, it's a social instinct that orients us 266 00:18:53,359 --> 00:18:57,840 Speaker 1: to what is perceived as normal by the group, and 267 00:18:57,880 --> 00:19:01,159 Speaker 1: we use that information to create dgments about where we 268 00:19:01,160 --> 00:19:04,920 Speaker 1: should be and where we're going. But our minds are 269 00:19:05,160 --> 00:19:10,879 Speaker 1: not that great at choosing realistic points of comparison, and 270 00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,480 Speaker 1: our society is also not great at showing us an 271 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 1: accurate depiction of what life is really like for others 272 00:19:18,320 --> 00:19:21,639 Speaker 1: at our age. So often the people we end up 273 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:26,440 Speaker 1: comparing ourselves to are those very few lucky ones who 274 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,399 Speaker 1: have somehow managed to figure it out or who have 275 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:34,680 Speaker 1: already achieved so much at this age. This past week, actually, 276 00:19:35,200 --> 00:19:39,639 Speaker 1: the Forbes thirty under thirty came out, and I was 277 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:44,200 Speaker 1: seeing announcements and images about it all over my social media, 278 00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:48,880 Speaker 1: and my immediate reaction was to compare myself to these 279 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:52,960 Speaker 1: people and to spiral and question, you know, what am 280 00:19:52,960 --> 00:19:55,680 Speaker 1: I doing wrong? Why am I not at this point? 281 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:59,680 Speaker 1: Am I falling behind? That pattern of thought was highly 282 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:03,840 Speaker 1: around national, but it was inherently derived from my instinct 283 00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:07,920 Speaker 1: to measure my own personal development against someone else's. Our 284 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:13,120 Speaker 1: brain likes to choose unattainable examples to compare against, which 285 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:18,359 Speaker 1: is entirely unhelpful but also out of our control. This 286 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 1: is why when we often feel so worried about our progress, 287 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:27,480 Speaker 1: it's because we're looking at the zero point zero zero 288 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:29,920 Speaker 1: one percent of people who do have it figured out 289 00:20:30,560 --> 00:20:33,639 Speaker 1: and thinking that that is the norm. But I'm going 290 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,800 Speaker 1: to tell you a secret. Right now, no one knows 291 00:20:36,800 --> 00:20:41,240 Speaker 1: what they're doing. No one knows, and even for that 292 00:20:41,520 --> 00:20:45,240 Speaker 1: small minority who do, they certainly don't know what they'll 293 00:20:45,280 --> 00:20:48,200 Speaker 1: be doing in five or ten years from now. They're 294 00:20:48,240 --> 00:20:51,400 Speaker 1: just like us in that sense. And I did an 295 00:20:51,560 --> 00:20:55,120 Speaker 1: entire episode on social comparison if you are particularly interested 296 00:20:55,119 --> 00:20:57,240 Speaker 1: in this, so listen to that if you want to 297 00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:01,320 Speaker 1: understand more. But I think it is this complex interaction. 298 00:21:01,359 --> 00:21:03,919 Speaker 1: When we think about our fears for the future, it 299 00:21:04,520 --> 00:21:07,960 Speaker 1: all kind of boils down to these four essential concepts. Right. 300 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:13,120 Speaker 1: It's anticipatory anxiety that provides us with this illusion of control. 301 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:17,639 Speaker 1: It's self preservation and wanting to feel like we're prepared 302 00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:22,320 Speaker 1: for whatever happens. It's the paradox of choice. It's being 303 00:21:22,400 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 1: almost paralyzed by having so many opportunities that we can't 304 00:21:26,359 --> 00:21:31,240 Speaker 1: even pick. And it's social comparison. It's thinking that you 305 00:21:31,359 --> 00:21:33,840 Speaker 1: need to be further ahead, you need to be doing 306 00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:37,360 Speaker 1: more than you're already doing, because you're looking at examples 307 00:21:37,400 --> 00:21:42,119 Speaker 1: of success that are unrealistic. But I don't think that 308 00:21:42,200 --> 00:21:46,760 Speaker 1: we need to feel paralyzed by this fear. I think 309 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 1: that we can find freedom from worrying about the future. 310 00:21:50,119 --> 00:21:52,920 Speaker 1: And this has been a huge personal journey of mine 311 00:21:52,920 --> 00:21:56,119 Speaker 1: this last year, learning how to live in the moment 312 00:21:56,280 --> 00:22:00,280 Speaker 1: and enjoy where I am right now. Trust me, it's 313 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:02,680 Speaker 1: a difficult process. You know. Even last week I was 314 00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:08,080 Speaker 1: having so much intense, irrational anxiety about whether the decisions 315 00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:10,080 Speaker 1: I was making right now we're going to mean that 316 00:22:10,119 --> 00:22:13,439 Speaker 1: I was happy in ten years. So you're not alone 317 00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,760 Speaker 1: in that. And what I really want to concentrate on 318 00:22:16,920 --> 00:22:20,840 Speaker 1: next is how we can address our fears, How we 319 00:22:20,880 --> 00:22:25,520 Speaker 1: can address our worry and move forward, How we can 320 00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:37,359 Speaker 1: release ourselves from this anxiety about the future. Overthinking is 321 00:22:37,440 --> 00:22:44,480 Speaker 1: both destructive and also incredibly mentally draining. It can make 322 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:48,960 Speaker 1: you feel like you are stuck in one place, and 323 00:22:49,200 --> 00:22:52,320 Speaker 1: I think failure to act on this habit can also 324 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:56,159 Speaker 1: impact our day to day life and exacerbate things like 325 00:22:56,320 --> 00:23:02,320 Speaker 1: our anxiety levels or decision palysis. But we're not here 326 00:23:02,320 --> 00:23:06,240 Speaker 1: to ruminate on the bad, but look forward to the 327 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:11,679 Speaker 1: things that we can do to counter this negative cognitive pattern. 328 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:16,840 Speaker 1: The thing with fear and worry is that it's often 329 00:23:16,960 --> 00:23:21,680 Speaker 1: trapped and contained to our brain, to our thoughts, So 330 00:23:21,800 --> 00:23:26,479 Speaker 1: retraining our brain to quickly dispose of these thoughts is 331 00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:31,880 Speaker 1: super crucial. This doesn't mean entirely eliminating the feeling of stress, 332 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:37,400 Speaker 1: but instead changing our perception or our reaction to this experience. 333 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:43,840 Speaker 1: When you begin to find yourself spiraling, approach your anxiety 334 00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:50,920 Speaker 1: with excitement. Excitement and anxiety feel remarkably similar. They elicit 335 00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:55,359 Speaker 1: the same racing thoughts, the same feeling in our stomach, 336 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:59,520 Speaker 1: the same physical reactions. So if you're sitting in bed 337 00:24:00,160 --> 00:24:03,880 Speaker 1: really worried about what the future holds, worried about where 338 00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:06,720 Speaker 1: you'll be, whether you're going to have you know what 339 00:24:06,800 --> 00:24:10,240 Speaker 1: your parents had, whether you're in the right place right now, 340 00:24:10,920 --> 00:24:16,520 Speaker 1: treat that feeling like excitement. Tell yourself, I am excited 341 00:24:16,800 --> 00:24:20,879 Speaker 1: by this feeling. I am excited by this feeling. I 342 00:24:20,920 --> 00:24:24,879 Speaker 1: am ready to be surprised by life. I am ready 343 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:29,440 Speaker 1: to see what happens. That way, you're no longer treating 344 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:34,760 Speaker 1: the semitic reaction as dangerous or something to be fearful of, 345 00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:38,960 Speaker 1: but as a positive experience, one in which we have 346 00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:43,560 Speaker 1: a positive perception of what we're going through. Right Like, 347 00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:48,040 Speaker 1: everyone would much rather be excited than feel stressed or anxious, 348 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:52,440 Speaker 1: But they create the same physical reaction, So your perception 349 00:24:52,480 --> 00:24:56,240 Speaker 1: of that, your thoughts towards that feeling, can actually change 350 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:59,240 Speaker 1: the nature of the reaction and how it's experienced by 351 00:24:59,240 --> 00:25:02,959 Speaker 1: your body but also by your mind. Sometimes that's not 352 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,480 Speaker 1: always possible, you know, there are some big questions about 353 00:25:05,520 --> 00:25:08,879 Speaker 1: the future that it's hard to feel excited by, like 354 00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:14,120 Speaker 1: rising sea levels going to destroy our way of life, 355 00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:17,320 Speaker 1: you know, not a fun one. But that doesn't need 356 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:20,040 Speaker 1: to stop us, or it doesn't need to hold us 357 00:25:20,040 --> 00:25:26,280 Speaker 1: back from reducing our anxiety around that possibility. I had 358 00:25:26,320 --> 00:25:29,399 Speaker 1: a therapist once offered me this tip, and I found 359 00:25:29,440 --> 00:25:32,640 Speaker 1: it really useful, and maybe you will as a well. 360 00:25:33,280 --> 00:25:37,879 Speaker 1: Schedule time to worry the same way you schedule time 361 00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:42,960 Speaker 1: to exercise or to do life admin each day, give 362 00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:47,280 Speaker 1: yourself just a twenty minute window to indulge in some 363 00:25:47,400 --> 00:25:51,560 Speaker 1: light overthinking. I often find it more effective to actually 364 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:55,200 Speaker 1: write out exactly what I'm worried about in that time, 365 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:58,800 Speaker 1: to just journal my heart out and when that twenty 366 00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:00,840 Speaker 1: minutes is up and leave it all on the page 367 00:26:01,080 --> 00:26:04,439 Speaker 1: and I walk away. It obviously takes a lot of 368 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:07,480 Speaker 1: self discipline, but if you're up for it, it can 369 00:26:07,520 --> 00:26:12,040 Speaker 1: be incredibly effective in separating your fear from your everyday 370 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 1: life and experiences. There's also times when we just need 371 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:19,879 Speaker 1: a distraction. Like I mentioned before, worrying about the future 372 00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:22,320 Speaker 1: can actually put a lot of pressure on our bodies. 373 00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:26,679 Speaker 1: It can spike out quartosol levels, it can create insomnia, 374 00:26:26,880 --> 00:26:31,800 Speaker 1: heighten pre existing mental health conditions. So we need to 375 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,520 Speaker 1: get out of our minds and into our bodies. We 376 00:26:35,640 --> 00:26:38,160 Speaker 1: can do this in a few ways, but my favorite 377 00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 1: way to practice this is what my friend and I 378 00:26:41,920 --> 00:26:45,720 Speaker 1: call crazy dance. I know it sounds really funny and 379 00:26:46,000 --> 00:26:49,280 Speaker 1: kind of simple in the name, right, but essentially, I 380 00:26:49,400 --> 00:26:53,080 Speaker 1: put on a song that I absolutely love, and I 381 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:57,640 Speaker 1: play it super loudly and I just spend five minutes 382 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:03,359 Speaker 1: moving and dance in the most insane way possible, moving 383 00:27:03,400 --> 00:27:06,520 Speaker 1: my body however it wants to feeling the rhythm and 384 00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:09,960 Speaker 1: how my body is responding and it brings me out 385 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:13,959 Speaker 1: of that physical anxiety and that physical reaction into a 386 00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:18,720 Speaker 1: more present space. You'll find that it is a lot 387 00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:23,800 Speaker 1: harder to contemplate the future and to experience existential dread 388 00:27:24,119 --> 00:27:27,640 Speaker 1: and anxiety when you are grounded in the moment, when 389 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:31,119 Speaker 1: you are grounded in what your body is doing, where 390 00:27:31,119 --> 00:27:33,320 Speaker 1: your limbs are going, the beat of the music, and 391 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:37,119 Speaker 1: it is incredibly euphoric. I always come out of it 392 00:27:37,160 --> 00:27:41,000 Speaker 1: with such a sense of calm. It also has the 393 00:27:41,119 --> 00:27:44,360 Speaker 1: added benefit of just being a great reliever of nervous 394 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 1: energy in the body. I think exercise of any form 395 00:27:49,160 --> 00:27:52,040 Speaker 1: is actually great for this, but so are things like 396 00:27:52,119 --> 00:27:57,720 Speaker 1: body scans and meditation, or getting out into nature, talking 397 00:27:57,720 --> 00:28:01,359 Speaker 1: to a friend, going to a movie, anything to just 398 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:04,480 Speaker 1: give your brain a break for a second. You know, 399 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:07,919 Speaker 1: you really deserve that piece, and connecting with your body 400 00:28:08,480 --> 00:28:12,040 Speaker 1: removes kind of the energy that your brain is devoting 401 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:17,080 Speaker 1: to your irrational fears and to your irrational anxiety. The 402 00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:22,000 Speaker 1: final strategy that I want to briefly discuss is a 403 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:25,560 Speaker 1: bit more abstract, I would say, and I think a 404 00:28:25,600 --> 00:28:29,920 Speaker 1: bit more difficult to apply, but definitely still worth noting. 405 00:28:30,800 --> 00:28:37,000 Speaker 1: We have to learn to become comfortable with uncertainty, with 406 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:40,479 Speaker 1: our fear of the unknown. This philosophy has a lot 407 00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:44,000 Speaker 1: of roots in Buddhism and the belief that we can't 408 00:28:44,120 --> 00:28:46,680 Speaker 1: change what happens to us, so we just have to 409 00:28:46,760 --> 00:28:52,800 Speaker 1: ride the wave and let life's experience almost wash over us. Therefore, 410 00:28:52,920 --> 00:29:00,360 Speaker 1: by adopting this almost stoic philosophy, the stoic ideology, we 411 00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:04,560 Speaker 1: assist our brain in eliminating the instinctual need to overthink 412 00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:08,080 Speaker 1: or worry about what's going to come. Because we know 413 00:29:08,200 --> 00:29:10,800 Speaker 1: that whatever it is we will find a way through. 414 00:29:11,320 --> 00:29:13,600 Speaker 1: We almost just become passive to it, like if this 415 00:29:13,680 --> 00:29:16,440 Speaker 1: is going to happen, it's going to happen. I can't 416 00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:19,840 Speaker 1: change anything. To get to this point, it's important to 417 00:29:19,880 --> 00:29:24,400 Speaker 1: reflect on the times in your life when something unexpected happened, 418 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:29,960 Speaker 1: something beyond your control, and you've survived, you made it through. 419 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:34,320 Speaker 1: Bring that acknowledgement into the present day, add it to 420 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:38,480 Speaker 1: your problem solving toolkit as a reminder that you can 421 00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:43,240 Speaker 1: and you have endured before. There has been so many 422 00:29:43,360 --> 00:29:46,400 Speaker 1: things in your life that were scary that you did 423 00:29:46,440 --> 00:29:50,360 Speaker 1: not expect, that you never could have predicted. But you're 424 00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:52,960 Speaker 1: listening to this right now, you're still here. You made 425 00:29:52,960 --> 00:29:57,160 Speaker 1: it through. I think it's also important to experience the 426 00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:00,840 Speaker 1: joy and the excitement in change by you know, trying 427 00:30:00,880 --> 00:30:05,160 Speaker 1: new things, pushing yourself beyond your comfort zone into new 428 00:30:05,200 --> 00:30:09,160 Speaker 1: situations so that you can become comfortable with the feeling 429 00:30:09,240 --> 00:30:13,080 Speaker 1: of discomfort, but also the reward that comes from that, 430 00:30:13,480 --> 00:30:17,960 Speaker 1: and just watch as you, truly do become liberated from 431 00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:22,240 Speaker 1: some of that fear. I'm not saying it will be instantaneous, 432 00:30:22,280 --> 00:30:25,640 Speaker 1: but it will help, and we can slowly get better 433 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:29,840 Speaker 1: at dealing with that worry about the future. I think 434 00:30:29,840 --> 00:30:33,480 Speaker 1: we've also spoken a bit today about anticipatory anxiety, and 435 00:30:33,520 --> 00:30:36,760 Speaker 1: I kind of highlighted some of the links between that 436 00:30:36,880 --> 00:30:41,960 Speaker 1: and generalized anxiety disorder and depression. Sometimes it is worth 437 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:47,400 Speaker 1: just getting help, going to a professional person, someone who's practicing, 438 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:51,600 Speaker 1: to kind of assist you through the transition from fear 439 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,640 Speaker 1: to peace. And I did a whole episode on this 440 00:30:55,160 --> 00:30:57,719 Speaker 1: called I Think It's like your Guide to Therapy in 441 00:30:57,720 --> 00:31:01,400 Speaker 1: your twenties. But I really do believe that if this 442 00:31:01,560 --> 00:31:05,880 Speaker 1: is a problem that you're personally going through, receiving some 443 00:31:05,960 --> 00:31:09,480 Speaker 1: professional help will be life changing. You know, there's only 444 00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:11,560 Speaker 1: so much I can do and only so much I 445 00:31:11,600 --> 00:31:15,880 Speaker 1: can say on one podcast that is going to help you. 446 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:19,760 Speaker 1: So I do really think it's an amazing opportunity to 447 00:31:19,760 --> 00:31:22,760 Speaker 1: really connect with the basis of these fears, to connect 448 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,840 Speaker 1: with the root of your fear of the unknown and 449 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,880 Speaker 1: kind of move past it. And on that, I do 450 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:33,760 Speaker 1: just want to take a moment to remind you, whatever 451 00:31:33,800 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 1: you're worried about, that is okay. It's okay to not 452 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:42,560 Speaker 1: have the answers. The future is super weird. We know 453 00:31:42,680 --> 00:31:46,360 Speaker 1: it's coming, but we can never fully be sure of 454 00:31:46,400 --> 00:31:51,680 Speaker 1: what it contains. So it's entirely natural to be experiencing fear. 455 00:31:51,760 --> 00:31:54,560 Speaker 1: And trust me when I say that you are not alone. 456 00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:58,239 Speaker 1: Sometimes that's just one of the best acknowledgements to just 457 00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,200 Speaker 1: know that whatever life kind of throws out of you, 458 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:05,360 Speaker 1: what even the nature of that experience is, You're never 459 00:32:05,400 --> 00:32:08,280 Speaker 1: going to be alone in that. That feels so comforting 460 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,560 Speaker 1: to me to know that it will be shared, It 461 00:32:10,560 --> 00:32:13,040 Speaker 1: will be a mutual experience. There will be other people 462 00:32:13,560 --> 00:32:16,320 Speaker 1: going through it at the same time. And I think, 463 00:32:16,360 --> 00:32:20,960 Speaker 1: as much as we are such adaptable creatures, I really 464 00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:24,000 Speaker 1: do promise that it's going to work out. And if 465 00:32:24,000 --> 00:32:28,040 Speaker 1: you let life surprise you maybe you'll find yourself in 466 00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,440 Speaker 1: an even better place than you could have imagined. Life 467 00:32:31,480 --> 00:32:35,760 Speaker 1: is really funny that way. I think sometimes you expect 468 00:32:35,760 --> 00:32:38,400 Speaker 1: all these things, you spend so much time worrying about them, 469 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:42,760 Speaker 1: and suddenly your life is in a completely different spot 470 00:32:42,760 --> 00:32:45,960 Speaker 1: than you ever could have imagined it, and you're just like, Wow, 471 00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,160 Speaker 1: I'm so glad I didn't anticipate this, because I'm so 472 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,800 Speaker 1: surprised and it's worked out even better than I could 473 00:32:51,840 --> 00:32:54,800 Speaker 1: have imagined. I hope that if you've made it this far, 474 00:32:55,480 --> 00:32:58,480 Speaker 1: you've learned something or at least feel a little bit 475 00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:01,080 Speaker 1: less alone in your fear of the future. I know 476 00:33:01,200 --> 00:33:04,200 Speaker 1: that it's really normal to spiral, it's really normal to overthink, 477 00:33:05,120 --> 00:33:07,520 Speaker 1: and as a fellow twenty year old, I have been 478 00:33:08,520 --> 00:33:11,160 Speaker 1: going through this so much recently, and I'm just kind 479 00:33:11,160 --> 00:33:14,200 Speaker 1: of trying to get comfortable with not knowing and seeing 480 00:33:14,200 --> 00:33:16,720 Speaker 1: what comes my way. So I really hope that you 481 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:20,960 Speaker 1: enjoyed this little slice of the Internet today. This episode. 482 00:33:21,520 --> 00:33:24,440 Speaker 1: It was an absolute pleasure to be able to explore 483 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:27,240 Speaker 1: this topic a bit more, and there was so much 484 00:33:27,320 --> 00:33:30,600 Speaker 1: psychology and science that I didn't really get to cover. 485 00:33:31,120 --> 00:33:33,480 Speaker 1: So if you want to Part two, if you want 486 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:37,240 Speaker 1: a more scientific part two, more research based. I would 487 00:33:37,320 --> 00:33:39,480 Speaker 1: totally be willing to do it because I think that 488 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:43,120 Speaker 1: this is one of those topics in psychology within the discipline, 489 00:33:43,520 --> 00:33:46,240 Speaker 1: that there has been so much research into, and it's 490 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:50,640 Speaker 1: just so incredibly valuable. So please let me know. And 491 00:33:51,200 --> 00:33:54,960 Speaker 1: as always, if you enjoyed this episode, please feel free 492 00:33:54,960 --> 00:33:57,040 Speaker 1: to pass it on, share it with someone who you 493 00:33:57,080 --> 00:34:00,600 Speaker 1: think might like it as well, or leave a five 494 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:05,200 Speaker 1: star review on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, wherever you are listening 495 00:34:05,280 --> 00:34:08,760 Speaker 1: right now. It really does help the show to grow. 496 00:34:09,239 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 1: I read all of your reviews and they make me 497 00:34:12,280 --> 00:34:15,399 Speaker 1: so happy and so emotional, So thank you to all 498 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:19,000 Speaker 1: of you who have left such kind words. If you 499 00:34:19,040 --> 00:34:22,640 Speaker 1: want to be involved with the community, follow us at 500 00:34:22,719 --> 00:34:27,640 Speaker 1: that Psychology Podcast on Instagram. It is a really great 501 00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:32,600 Speaker 1: way to participate in polls, give episode suggestions, see what's 502 00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:37,400 Speaker 1: coming up soon, like match like guest episodes, all of 503 00:34:37,440 --> 00:34:40,239 Speaker 1: those things. So if you feel cool to do so, 504 00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:43,640 Speaker 1: please feel free to give us a follow, and as always, 505 00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:46,720 Speaker 1: thank you so much for listening. I hope you learned something, 506 00:34:46,800 --> 00:34:49,239 Speaker 1: I hope you enjoyed this episode, and I hope you 507 00:34:49,280 --> 00:34:52,560 Speaker 1: have a lovely week. We will see you again next 508 00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:53,920 Speaker 1: week for another episode