1 00:00:02,279 --> 00:00:05,480 Speaker 1: All right, it's time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen. 2 00:00:05,480 --> 00:00:08,880 Speaker 1: If you need advice on relationships, work, sex, parenting, and more, 3 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:12,360 Speaker 1: please submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com. 4 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: All you have to do is click submit Strawberry Letter 5 00:00:15,240 --> 00:00:17,759 Speaker 1: and we could be reading your letter live on the air, 6 00:00:18,200 --> 00:00:20,759 Speaker 1: just like we're gonna read this one right here, right now, 7 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,640 Speaker 1: and you never know, it could be yours, buggalove, and 8 00:00:24,720 --> 00:00:26,480 Speaker 1: hold on tight, we got it before you. Here it 9 00:00:26,600 --> 00:00:33,760 Speaker 1: is Strawberry Letter. Okay, thank you, sexy nephew. Subject he 10 00:00:33,960 --> 00:00:39,360 Speaker 1: compliments everyone but me. Dear Stephen Shirley. I'm fifty eight 11 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,720 Speaker 1: and on my second marriage to a man that I 12 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:45,479 Speaker 1: only knew seven months before we got married. He swept 13 00:00:45,560 --> 00:00:48,240 Speaker 1: me off my feet after I met him at church. 14 00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:51,279 Speaker 1: We actually met online, but we agreed to have our 15 00:00:51,320 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 1: first to face to face encounter at church. We spent 16 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 1: that entire first day together and into the night. He 17 00:00:58,760 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: said he was an expert on beautiful souls and mine 18 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:05,319 Speaker 1: was the brightest he'd seen in years. Now that I 19 00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,679 Speaker 1: look back at our first date, he did not say 20 00:01:07,760 --> 00:01:11,240 Speaker 1: I was beautiful or even comment on my outfit. We 21 00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,640 Speaker 1: had a lot of laughs, and although we didn't have 22 00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 1: a lot in common, we built a sweet relationship. I 23 00:01:17,840 --> 00:01:20,760 Speaker 1: think back now to when we first had sex. He 24 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:24,320 Speaker 1: didn't compliment me then or have much to say about it. 25 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:28,280 Speaker 1: I noticed that he complimented other women a lot. Right 26 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:31,440 Speaker 1: before our wedding, when he met two of my girlfriends, 27 00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 1: he said, my friends are beautiful, and he cannot believe 28 00:01:34,600 --> 00:01:37,880 Speaker 1: the cutest one is still single. I was jealous, but 29 00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:40,839 Speaker 1: I did not mention it to him. Instead, I kept 30 00:01:40,880 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: an eye on my girlfriend like she was the problem. 31 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:47,199 Speaker 1: Now I know he's the problem. He has a bad 32 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,000 Speaker 1: habit of pointing out women at church or on TV 33 00:01:50,400 --> 00:01:54,960 Speaker 1: that he thinks are beautiful. I asked him if I'm 34 00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:57,480 Speaker 1: beautiful to him, and he said, it's not becoming to 35 00:01:57,520 --> 00:02:00,760 Speaker 1: seek out compliments. They have to come now. Truly, he 36 00:02:00,880 --> 00:02:04,520 Speaker 1: must think I'm very unattractive for him to answer like that. 37 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,000 Speaker 1: Just yesterday he told a cashier that her nails were cute, 38 00:02:08,120 --> 00:02:10,360 Speaker 1: and I felt some kind of way because he told 39 00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:13,120 Speaker 1: me he is not a fan of long nails. It 40 00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 1: is hurtful to me that he never has anything nice 41 00:02:16,480 --> 00:02:18,880 Speaker 1: to say about me. How do I get him to 42 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 1: notice me? Well, it's not that he doesn't notice you. 43 00:02:22,919 --> 00:02:26,679 Speaker 1: He notices you, all right. I do think it's very 44 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:29,960 Speaker 1: odd when a man doesn't compliment his wife, when he 45 00:02:30,040 --> 00:02:33,960 Speaker 1: never says anything. According to this letter, he doesn't. I 46 00:02:34,040 --> 00:02:37,760 Speaker 1: think that's kind of mean, you know, and dumb. It's like, 47 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 1: he knows you look good, but he's too something I 48 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,160 Speaker 1: don't know fill in the blank to do it. It 49 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,639 Speaker 1: will cost him nothing to say it, but he just 50 00:02:46,800 --> 00:02:51,520 Speaker 1: refuses to do it. And it's definitely in him, because 51 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:56,520 Speaker 1: you know, he knows he notices other women, so it's 52 00:02:56,560 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 1: in him. He knows what he's doing. I wonder what 53 00:03:00,919 --> 00:03:03,440 Speaker 1: he does behind your back when he's around other women, 54 00:03:03,919 --> 00:03:06,440 Speaker 1: because he's disrespectful in your face, and it makes you 55 00:03:06,480 --> 00:03:08,680 Speaker 1: feel some kind of way. That's why I say it's 56 00:03:08,720 --> 00:03:11,920 Speaker 1: mean him not complimenting you. He knows exactly what he's doing. 57 00:03:11,960 --> 00:03:14,799 Speaker 1: It's perfectly normal from a woman to want to hear 58 00:03:14,880 --> 00:03:17,520 Speaker 1: something nice about herself from her own husband. It won't 59 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,160 Speaker 1: kill him to say, baby, you look good in that dress, 60 00:03:20,240 --> 00:03:23,680 Speaker 1: or I like your hair, etc. It'll work out well 61 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,519 Speaker 1: for him later. I think he's an idiot. I think 62 00:03:26,560 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 1: he has some control issues as far as you're concerned, 63 00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: because he's aware of what you want and absolutely refuses 64 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:36,040 Speaker 1: to give it to you. So I say, just stop 65 00:03:36,080 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 1: expecting compliments from him. It's more important how you feel 66 00:03:40,080 --> 00:03:43,040 Speaker 1: about yourself anyway. How do you feel about yourself? Do 67 00:03:43,080 --> 00:03:45,960 Speaker 1: you think you're beautiful? I say, get dressed up, go 68 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,840 Speaker 1: out with your girls, have some fun. Quit depending on 69 00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 1: him to validate you. Get your confidence up on your own. Okay, 70 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:57,520 Speaker 1: without him, you know, stop looking for him to make 71 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 1: you happy or make you feel good. He's not going 72 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:01,960 Speaker 1: to do it that way. He can keep you just 73 00:04:02,080 --> 00:04:05,040 Speaker 1: where he wants you. What did you like about him? Anyway? 74 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:10,600 Speaker 1: I mean really, what did you like about him? Steve like, yeah, 75 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 1: but why did she marry him? Yeah? What did you 76 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:18,679 Speaker 1: like about him? Why y'all married? How you didn't married 77 00:04:18,720 --> 00:04:25,400 Speaker 1: a man? That? What? How? I don't even understand that. 78 00:04:25,600 --> 00:04:29,680 Speaker 1: Let me just walk you through this. The subject is 79 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 1: he compliments everybody but me. I'm fifty eight on my 80 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,159 Speaker 1: second marriage to a man. I only knew seven months 81 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,680 Speaker 1: before we got married, so that means you didn't know it. 82 00:04:40,560 --> 00:04:43,680 Speaker 1: He swept me off my feet after I met him 83 00:04:43,680 --> 00:04:49,160 Speaker 1: at church. Everybody meet at churches. Uh, sweet, sweet people 84 00:04:49,160 --> 00:04:53,360 Speaker 1: on me feet? But then here'll go to correction where 85 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:57,600 Speaker 1: we actually met online, but we agreed to share our 86 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 1: first date face the first encounter at church. We spent 87 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 1: the entire first day together and then too the night. 88 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:10,240 Speaker 1: He said he was an expert on beautiful souls, and 89 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:14,400 Speaker 1: mine was the brightest he'd seen in years. Who say that? 90 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:24,919 Speaker 1: He him, who, without mentioning how fine you are, without 91 00:05:24,960 --> 00:05:29,799 Speaker 1: mentioning none of that. He went straight past your looks 92 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,680 Speaker 1: to you one of the most beautiful souls, and mind 93 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: is the brightest he'd seen in years. Oh, that was 94 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,440 Speaker 1: breath taken to you. You thought that was the line 95 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,760 Speaker 1: of lines, didn't you? Now that I looked back at 96 00:05:42,760 --> 00:05:45,560 Speaker 1: our first date, he didn't say I was beautiful or 97 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:48,400 Speaker 1: even comment on my outfit. Well, let's talk about that. 98 00:05:49,839 --> 00:05:53,839 Speaker 1: Why I would a man not tell you you beautiful? Well? 99 00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:57,599 Speaker 1: I can think of one reason. And then he didn't 100 00:05:57,600 --> 00:06:00,720 Speaker 1: even comment on my outfit. Now let's talk about that. 101 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:05,920 Speaker 1: What did you have on you? Wrote this damn church 102 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:08,600 Speaker 1: dress up in here, because y'all first date was after church. 103 00:06:09,040 --> 00:06:13,240 Speaker 1: He didn't comment on your outfit? What church outfit did 104 00:06:13,279 --> 00:06:15,800 Speaker 1: you have on you? Fifty eight? Are you on the 105 00:06:15,839 --> 00:06:19,320 Speaker 1: missionary board? Are you on the usher board? See what 106 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:23,360 Speaker 1: outfit did you have on? Then? Let me throw this 107 00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:27,320 Speaker 1: one out real quick. Now I can't. I'll be back. 108 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:32,760 Speaker 1: I see what's happening. Hang on. We'll have part two 109 00:06:32,800 --> 00:06:35,520 Speaker 1: of Steve's response coming up at twenty three minutes after 110 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:39,680 Speaker 1: the hour. Today's Strawberry Letters. Subject he compliments everyone but me. 111 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:43,719 Speaker 1: We'll be back right after this. You're listening Steve Harvey 112 00:06:43,760 --> 00:06:46,760 Speaker 1: Morning Show. All right, come on, Steve, let's recap today's 113 00:06:46,760 --> 00:06:51,280 Speaker 1: Strawberry letter. The subject is he compliments everyone but me. 114 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:54,760 Speaker 1: The question in this letter is why are y'all married? 115 00:06:56,440 --> 00:07:01,600 Speaker 1: I haven't heard one redeeming thing that you should even 116 00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:06,480 Speaker 1: be Why did you marry him? Why you listen to me? 117 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:09,880 Speaker 1: Fifty eighth second man? You only you married a man 118 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:11,840 Speaker 1: you only knew seven months. That means you got married 119 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 1: to a man you didn't really know. He swept me 120 00:07:14,360 --> 00:07:16,080 Speaker 1: off to our feet after I met him at church. 121 00:07:16,760 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 1: That's a lie because you said, well, we actually met online, 122 00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,240 Speaker 1: but we agreed to have our first face to face 123 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:26,200 Speaker 1: at church. We spent the entire first day together, and 124 00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:29,400 Speaker 1: then too the night. He said I was an He 125 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,680 Speaker 1: was an expert on beautiful souls, and mine was the 126 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:37,640 Speaker 1: brightest he'd seen in years. I don't know who say 127 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:43,680 Speaker 1: that without doing some basic compliments first. But obviously he 128 00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,160 Speaker 1: liked poetry and you do too, So you failed. For 129 00:07:47,680 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 1: now that I look back at our first day, he 130 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:52,720 Speaker 1: did not say I was beautiful or even comment on 131 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:56,960 Speaker 1: my outfit. Well, why would a man not say you 132 00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:01,120 Speaker 1: beautiful when he first see I can think of one 133 00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:12,119 Speaker 1: main reason. Let's counter there you go. Maybe he didn't 134 00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 1: say you beautiful cause he didn't see that, but he 135 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:20,600 Speaker 1: saw your beautiful souls though, na, and he's an expert. 136 00:08:22,560 --> 00:08:25,040 Speaker 1: Then you said he didn't say I was beautiful or 137 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:28,560 Speaker 1: even comment on my outfit. Oh, here we go. What 138 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:34,080 Speaker 1: did you wear to church to meet him? Which one 139 00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:39,480 Speaker 1: of them moomo ass dresses did you have on? What 140 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:45,760 Speaker 1: unflattering praise the ass church outfit did you have on 141 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 1: on your first date at church? Come on, no wonder 142 00:08:49,640 --> 00:08:51,840 Speaker 1: he said you was a beautiful soul. He couldn't see 143 00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:56,720 Speaker 1: nothing else. We've had a lot of laughs, and although 144 00:08:56,720 --> 00:08:59,440 Speaker 1: we don't have a lot in common, we built a 145 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 1: sweet relationship. He go the next line, I think back 146 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 1: now to when we first had sex. He didn't compliment 147 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:10,120 Speaker 1: me then or have much to say about it. Well, 148 00:09:10,200 --> 00:09:13,320 Speaker 1: We didn't went over this with your outfit. We I 149 00:09:13,400 --> 00:09:16,960 Speaker 1: asked you in the outfit, what did you have on? Nah? 150 00:09:17,040 --> 00:09:20,440 Speaker 1: He didn't compliment you or mentioning your sex. What did 151 00:09:20,480 --> 00:09:26,240 Speaker 1: you do? What was you in that? Doing? That didn't 152 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:35,160 Speaker 1: get a girl? That beautiful soul show showed up. Girl, 153 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,600 Speaker 1: I didn't know under that church outfit what you was 154 00:09:37,679 --> 00:09:43,520 Speaker 1: working with. You didn't hit none of that, No, because 155 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:48,000 Speaker 1: you was up there and it wasn't worth mentioning it. 156 00:09:48,760 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 1: I noticed that he compliments other woman a lot, like 157 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,440 Speaker 1: right before our wedding when we met here we go, 158 00:09:54,559 --> 00:09:58,640 Speaker 1: now two of my girlfriends. He met two of my girlfriends. 159 00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:01,360 Speaker 1: He said, my friends are beautiful and he cannot believe 160 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:04,160 Speaker 1: the cutest one is still single. Did you hit that? 161 00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,960 Speaker 1: He said your girlfriends are beautiful? He never called you 162 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:12,240 Speaker 1: that because you know what the statistics is, now, one 163 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:17,120 Speaker 1: out of every three people is ugly. If two of 164 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,679 Speaker 1: your girlfriends is beautiful, wait went wait wait wait one 165 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,960 Speaker 1: out of what? One out of every three people is ugly? Time, 166 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:29,480 Speaker 1: that's a fact. Seem like if you look at this show, like, 167 00:10:29,520 --> 00:10:34,600 Speaker 1: if you look at this show, okay, yeah, it's one 168 00:10:34,640 --> 00:10:40,720 Speaker 1: out of see Monica Shirley me one out of three 169 00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:46,360 Speaker 1: is ugly mean you junior, you can pick any one 170 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:58,600 Speaker 1: of them, bott one see and then well we know 171 00:10:58,640 --> 00:11:01,920 Speaker 1: it ain't caller, so we asked, we're back to the 172 00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 1: two ugly ass dude, you see what I'm saying? And 173 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:13,120 Speaker 1: now and now he said, my friends are beautiful, and 174 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 1: he can't believe the cutest one is still single. But 175 00:11:16,080 --> 00:11:20,600 Speaker 1: guess what, you getting married? The cutest one is still single. 176 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:23,280 Speaker 1: But the reason you are right with him is because 177 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 1: you're the best he can get, because ain't nobody else 178 00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,800 Speaker 1: taking this conversation. And then nobody else man is non 179 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 1: complimentary ass man, but you so you're the best one 180 00:11:32,200 --> 00:11:35,880 Speaker 1: he can get. So jack potch, you win. I was jealous, 181 00:11:35,880 --> 00:11:37,840 Speaker 1: but I didn't mention it to him. Instead, I kept 182 00:11:37,840 --> 00:11:40,480 Speaker 1: an eye on my girlfriend like she was the problem. 183 00:11:40,559 --> 00:11:42,960 Speaker 1: Now I know he's a problem. He has a bad 184 00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:45,360 Speaker 1: habit of pointing out women at Churchill on TV that 185 00:11:45,440 --> 00:11:47,800 Speaker 1: he thinks are beautiful. I asked him if he thinks 186 00:11:47,800 --> 00:11:50,439 Speaker 1: I'm beautiful to him, and he said, it's not becoming 187 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:54,160 Speaker 1: to seek out compliment. This is what he meant to say. 188 00:11:54,520 --> 00:11:56,520 Speaker 1: I asked him if I'm beautiful to him, and he 189 00:11:56,559 --> 00:12:00,200 Speaker 1: said It's not becoming to seek out complimentary compliment when 190 00:12:00,240 --> 00:12:04,400 Speaker 1: you're not beautiful. They have to come naturally, and your 191 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:09,040 Speaker 1: beauty is not natural. That's what he really says. He 192 00:12:09,160 --> 00:12:14,400 Speaker 1: must think I'm very unattractive. Nat. He must think I'm 193 00:12:14,480 --> 00:12:16,640 Speaker 1: very unattractive being gold. You could have wrote that at 194 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:19,640 Speaker 1: the top of the letter. It's hurtful to me that 195 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: he never has anything nice to say about me. Once again, 196 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 1: why did you marry him? How do I get him 197 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 1: to notice me? He has noticed you, he has noticed you, 198 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:35,120 Speaker 1: and he's told you everything he's noticed. Keep on asking 199 00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 1: him notice you. You've been to find out some most 200 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:40,439 Speaker 1: stuff about yourself too, Feel like your told either. Hit 201 00:12:40,480 --> 00:12:43,280 Speaker 1: us up on Instagram and Steve Harvey FM to comment 202 00:12:43,320 --> 00:12:46,200 Speaker 1: on today's struggle, asking about that old ass half style 203 00:12:46,280 --> 00:12:48,200 Speaker 1: you got on see how I feel about that. You 204 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:52,040 Speaker 1: can also check out the stodcast on demand coming up 205 00:12:52,120 --> 00:12:58,000 Speaker 1: next to the junior Right after this. You're listening Steve 206 00:12:58,160 --> 00:12:59,120 Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.