WEBVTT - Bonus Episode – Covid Meets Incompetence

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<v Speaker 1>Dear Governor is a production of I Heart Media and

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<v Speaker 1>three Months Media. Dear Governor Newsom, Dear Mr Governor Newsom.

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<v Speaker 1>This is an open letter to Governor Gavin Newsom. Dear

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<v Speaker 1>Governor news Dear Governor Newsom, as you know. In late

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<v Speaker 1>May one, twenty one incarcerated men from a COVID hotspot,

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<v Speaker 1>the California Institute for Men and Chino, were transferred to

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<v Speaker 1>San Quentin. Since then, over half of the men at

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<v Speaker 1>San Quentin have become infected. To add insult to injury.

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<v Speaker 1>As of the time of this recording, all communications have

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<v Speaker 1>been severed in or out of the prison. Mothers, spouses, children,

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<v Speaker 1>friends have no idea how their loved ones are faring,

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<v Speaker 1>whether alive, on respirator or dead. As of yesterday, thirteen

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<v Speaker 1>of the men have died, eight on death row. The

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<v Speaker 1>last we heard from our friend Jarvis Masters, he had

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<v Speaker 1>been ravaged by COVID but was believed to be on

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<v Speaker 1>the end, but we can't know for sure. Considering all

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<v Speaker 1>phone privileges have been revoked. This is cruel and inhumane

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<v Speaker 1>punishment for all involved. It was also in late May

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<v Speaker 1>that Jarvis published a prescient op ed in the Guardian

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<v Speaker 1>newspaper advocating for why, now more than ever, monitored cell

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<v Speaker 1>phone usage should be permitted in prisons. We hope you

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<v Speaker 1>will hear his message and considered as a possible solution

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<v Speaker 1>to the dire circumstances we are witnessing now. To help

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<v Speaker 1>share Jarvis's vital message, we have enlisted actor and advocate

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<v Speaker 1>Dion Graham to read portions of Jarvis's appeal in his

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<v Speaker 1>May twenty second op ed, Letting prisoners use cell phones

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<v Speaker 1>make sense now more than ever. Not long before the

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<v Speaker 1>COVID nineteen outbreak was declared a worldwide pandemic, there was

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<v Speaker 1>a shakedown here on death Row at San Quentin State Prison.

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<v Speaker 1>It was a massive search, and I wasn't surprised to

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<v Speaker 1>learn officials confiscated at least sixties cell phones. I know

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<v Speaker 1>what it feels like to be caught with a contraband phone.

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<v Speaker 1>It happened two years ago, and as punishment I was

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<v Speaker 1>sent to the Adjustment Center solitary confinement for two months.

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<v Speaker 1>I was set the solitary for the crime of wanting connection.

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<v Speaker 1>With almost forty years as a prisoner, I'm old enough

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<v Speaker 1>to remember a time when a shakedown wouldn't have resulted

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<v Speaker 1>in the confiscation of sixty phones. It would have been

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<v Speaker 1>sixty shanks and other deadly weapons. This demonstrates what most

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<v Speaker 1>prisoners really want now, to communicate with their family and friends,

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<v Speaker 1>those precious parts of our lives not caged up in here.

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<v Speaker 1>This basic need is all the more pronounced in the

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<v Speaker 1>shadow of the coronavirus. A friend of mine told me

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<v Speaker 1>that he won't be able to make it if the

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<v Speaker 1>pandemic lasts for another few weeks. He's managed to survive

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<v Speaker 1>for fifteen years as a condemned man, but the fact

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<v Speaker 1>that the outside world is in such a state of

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<v Speaker 1>pandemonium as a bridge too far. He's not concerned about

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<v Speaker 1>catching the virus himself, but he's scared to death about

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<v Speaker 1>the safety of his friends and family. The last time

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<v Speaker 1>Jervis's voice was recorded prior of the phone prohibition was

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<v Speaker 1>July twelve. Here he is talking about COVID and COVID

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<v Speaker 1>related deaths with the local group coordinator for Amnesty International

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<v Speaker 1>in San Francisco, Gavrilla. Wells, have you talked in compared

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<v Speaker 1>notes to any guard who have also had COVID? Have

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<v Speaker 1>you commiserated about the experience? I did, Yeah, it's the

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<v Speaker 1>same thing. One of the guards who was on the

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<v Speaker 1>ventilator are he was getting fed out at two. It

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<v Speaker 1>was his first day back today. It was his first

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<v Speaker 1>day back today, and I talked to him and he

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<v Speaker 1>said it was He said it was rough. He said

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<v Speaker 1>he's glad he made it through it, and he's glad

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<v Speaker 1>he didn't affect his family. We all got the same string,

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<v Speaker 1>you know. I believe we all got the same string.

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<v Speaker 1>So we're all done to share the same stories. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>our chess was hurting hard to brief eggs and the

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<v Speaker 1>body had a loss of case, sometimes delirious lower back pains.

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<v Speaker 1>We all have the same thing. Are you feeling now, Jay,

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<v Speaker 1>My bones are cracking. Like I said, it feels like

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<v Speaker 1>I just came out of a football game. Everything hurts,

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<v Speaker 1>everything hurts. But the nurses and the doctors told me

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<v Speaker 1>that that's what's going to happen. You know, if you

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<v Speaker 1>make it through this, you know you're still gonna you

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<v Speaker 1>can be thick, physically thick for a month. I wish

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<v Speaker 1>there was I mean, it's just stupid thing to say.

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<v Speaker 1>I wish there was a way that you could just

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<v Speaker 1>get some sunlight on you. Yeah, you know the sunlight.

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<v Speaker 1>I wish I could get that too. But when you

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<v Speaker 1>say sun like, to me, that's fresh air. Yeah, to me,

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<v Speaker 1>that's fresh air. And I wish I could have some

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<v Speaker 1>of that. Now, know what fresh air means? When you

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<v Speaker 1>want it? We all prove it in the same same stuff.

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<v Speaker 1>It looks like a crime scene. It looks just like

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<v Speaker 1>a crime scene. And to me, that's exactly what it is.

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<v Speaker 1>That's thy seconds. What I've been thinking about morning anything else,

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<v Speaker 1>is that you know the guys they took out on

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<v Speaker 1>my chair. They never they're never took anything out their salves,

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<v Speaker 1>their seals, just the same. One guy's TV still on. Whoa,

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<v Speaker 1>yeah that his TVs are still on. Another guy's coffees

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<v Speaker 1>right there, and the cups sitting right down to bed.

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<v Speaker 1>So cardovits TV is still on or still has coffee

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<v Speaker 1>in there. Yes, oh my god. If he walked by

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<v Speaker 1>his sale, his TV is still on, his TV is

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<v Speaker 1>still on, the pattering of them laying in the bed,

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<v Speaker 1>he's still there. M hm. And it's scary and it's painful,

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<v Speaker 1>and um, that's what gets me every single day. That's

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<v Speaker 1>what haunts me. Actor Dion Graham continues reading Jarvis's May

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<v Speaker 1>twenty second op ed making a case for cell phones

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<v Speaker 1>behind bars. On top of the double scourge of mass

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<v Speaker 1>incarceration and coronavirus disproportionately affecting poor people of color, the

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<v Speaker 1>current crisis magnifies the inhumane regulation that prohibits cellphones in

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<v Speaker 1>correctional facilities. Riker's Island Prison, for instance, has a COVID

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<v Speaker 1>nineteen infection rate seven times that of New York City,

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<v Speaker 1>the center of the outbreak. If cell phones were authorized there,

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<v Speaker 1>family members could keep itally on the now more than

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<v Speaker 1>eight hundred inmates who are being held in isolation or quarantined,

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<v Speaker 1>but instead they're left to agonize whether he or she

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<v Speaker 1>hasn't already been ravaged by the virus throughout the prison

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<v Speaker 1>system across the country, cellphones are the lifelines that keep

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<v Speaker 1>prisoners connected to hope. It's hopeless men and women who

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<v Speaker 1>are the ones who become violent and self destructive. For

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<v Speaker 1>that reason, I believe cell phones make prisoners safer, connect

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<v Speaker 1>and for any human being essential to life and ample

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<v Speaker 1>research proves that inmates who remain connected to their families

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<v Speaker 1>and friends are far more likely to re into society

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<v Speaker 1>successfully and not reoffend Not only does cell phone access

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<v Speaker 1>enhance the lives of prisoners, but consider the approximately three

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<v Speaker 1>million American children who have a parent in prison today.

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<v Speaker 1>According to the Fragile Families and Child Well Being Study,

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<v Speaker 1>kids with an incarcerated parent are three times more likely

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<v Speaker 1>to suffer from behavioral problems and depression and kids without one.

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<v Speaker 1>Imagine the positive impact it could have on the lives

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<v Speaker 1>of these children if they could call their mother or

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<v Speaker 1>father and share what life was like in this new

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<v Speaker 1>social distancing reality, how sad they are because they missed

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<v Speaker 1>their friends, or how happy they are to see their

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<v Speaker 1>teachers online. The ability to call a parent could be transformative,

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<v Speaker 1>and it could be life changing for prisoners like me too.

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<v Speaker 1>All of us in this god forsaken place would rather

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<v Speaker 1>stay in our own selves to talk with our families

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<v Speaker 1>and anything, and now, more than ever, for people isolated

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<v Speaker 1>from the world, hearing a loved one's voice or a

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<v Speaker 1>grand baby coup for the first time is healing. In addition,

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<v Speaker 1>this is time spent not being violent in the yard.

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<v Speaker 1>It's time spent not stewing in your own rage, frustration,

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<v Speaker 1>and depression. We would have time to be normal, thinking, feeling,

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<v Speaker 1>human beings. We'll post a link to Jervis's article in

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<v Speaker 1>our show notes. But he goes on to make the

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<v Speaker 1>case that not only would cell phone usage save money

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<v Speaker 1>for the families of the incarcerated, but with managed access

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<v Speaker 1>technology that exists now, prisons could track and monitor all

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<v Speaker 1>incoming and outgoing calls and texts. Not only that, but

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<v Speaker 1>the National Institute of Justice takes the position that managed

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<v Speaker 1>access is one more piece of the puzzle to mitigate

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<v Speaker 1>contraband cell phone usage. The secret that the prison system

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't want to acknowledge is how much more serene and

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<v Speaker 1>less disruptive it is when inmates are on their cell phones.

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<v Speaker 1>My favorite memory with my phone was staying up all

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<v Speaker 1>night talking with my brothers and sisters in a group call.

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<v Speaker 1>I hadn't talked to them together like that in more

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<v Speaker 1>than three decades. Considering we were all separated in different

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<v Speaker 1>foster homes as children, we had a lot to remember together.

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<v Speaker 1>We laughed, we cried, whispering to my siblings. I felt

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<v Speaker 1>alive that night. When the world overcomes this nightmare. Who

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<v Speaker 1>knows if we'll ever get that chance again. Last week,

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<v Speaker 1>Shambala Publications released Jervis's latest autobiographical book, Finding Freedom, How

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<v Speaker 1>Death Row broke and opened My heart. Robert L. Allen,

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<v Speaker 1>Senior editor of The Black Scholar, writes of the book

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<v Speaker 1>a deeply moving, life affirming memoir written from the nether

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<v Speaker 1>world of San Quentin. His book is a testament to

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<v Speaker 1>the tenacity of the human spirit. Up next, actor Dion Graham,

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<v Speaker 1>whose voiced the audio book for Finding Freedom, will share

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<v Speaker 1>some of the amazing wisdom that Jarvis has put down

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<v Speaker 1>on the page. I'm Diana Graham, and I'm an actor

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<v Speaker 1>and also narrate things as well. And I came to

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<v Speaker 1>know about Jarvis because Shambala Press reached out to me

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<v Speaker 1>to narrate his great book, Finding Freedom. Jarvis has said

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<v Speaker 1>that you two have become quite good friends during the process. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>I appreciate I definitely appreciate Jarvis, and uh, you know,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm I'm wishing him well during these times, particularly what

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<v Speaker 1>the conditions are in there right now and also in

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<v Speaker 1>his fight to gain his freedom. This system is one

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<v Speaker 1>that disproportionately targets and holds black and brown men in particular,

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<v Speaker 1>and you know, that is something that we need to

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<v Speaker 1>continue speaking out about and looking at why that is

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<v Speaker 1>and what that means In terms of of our democracy

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<v Speaker 1>and what we want our democracy actually to be, and

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<v Speaker 1>particularly in light of current events. I think it's important,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think it's important for us to think critically

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<v Speaker 1>about that and also to think compassionately. You know. I

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<v Speaker 1>think we can do better, and I hope that the

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<v Speaker 1>governor will find it in his heart and in his

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<v Speaker 1>uh it makes sense to him that we do do better.

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<v Speaker 1>The audiobook of Finding Freedom, How Death Row Broken Open

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<v Speaker 1>My Heart can be found at shambala dot com or

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<v Speaker 1>audible well linked to both sites in our show notes.

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<v Speaker 1>Now Dion Graham reading from the chapter called Scars. I

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<v Speaker 1>remember the first time I really noticed the scars on

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<v Speaker 1>the bodies of my fellow prisoners. I was outside on

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<v Speaker 1>a maximum custody exercise yard. I stood along the fence,

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<v Speaker 1>praising the air. The yard gave my lungs that my

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<v Speaker 1>prison cell didn't. I wasn't in a rush to pick

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<v Speaker 1>up a basketball or do anything. I just stood in

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<v Speaker 1>my own silence. I looked at the other prisoners playing

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<v Speaker 1>basketball or handball, showering, talking to one another. I saw

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<v Speaker 1>the inmates. I felt closest to John Pete and David

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<v Speaker 1>lifting weights. I noticed the amazing similarity of the whiplike

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<v Speaker 1>scars on their bare skin, shining with sweat from pumping

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<v Speaker 1>iron in the hot sun. A deep sadness came over

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<v Speaker 1>me as I watched these powerful men lift hundreds of

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<v Speaker 1>pounds of weights over their heads. I looked around the

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<v Speaker 1>yard and made the gruesome discovery that everyone else had

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<v Speaker 1>the same deep gashes behind their legs, on their backs,

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<v Speaker 1>all over their ribs, evidence of the violence in our lives.

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<v Speaker 1>Here were America's lost children, surviving in rage and in

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<v Speaker 1>refuge from society. I was certain that many of their

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<v Speaker 1>crimes could be traced to the horrible violence done to

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<v Speaker 1>them as children. The histories of all of us in

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<v Speaker 1>San Quentin were so similar it was as if we

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<v Speaker 1>had the same parents who I was a trusted comrade

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<v Speaker 1>of most of these inmates, and to a few of them,

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<v Speaker 1>I was their only family. Normally, I wouldn't dare intrude

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<v Speaker 1>on their private pain. Even so, I made up my

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<v Speaker 1>mind that I would bring John, Pete and David together

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<v Speaker 1>to talk about their scars. These men had probably never

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<v Speaker 1>spoken openly of their terrible childhood experiences. I doubted that

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<v Speaker 1>any of them would ever have used the word abuse.

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<v Speaker 1>They looked hard into the corps standing round the weight

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<v Speaker 1>lifting bench, proud of their bodies and the images they projected.

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<v Speaker 1>It occurred to me as I approached them that such

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<v Speaker 1>a posture of pride symbolized the battles they had made

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<v Speaker 1>their bones with. This was prison talk for proved their manhood.

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<v Speaker 1>At one time I had been hardened as well and

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<v Speaker 1>had made my own denials. The difficulty I would have

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<v Speaker 1>in speaking with them would be interpreting the prison language

0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:02.040
<v Speaker 1>we all used when talking out our past. Shucking and

0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:06.199
<v Speaker 1>driving was the way we covered up sensitive matters. John

0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:08.680
<v Speaker 1>was a twenty eight year old bulky man serving twenty

0:14:08.720 --> 0:14:11.160
<v Speaker 1>five to life for murder. I had met him when

0:14:11.200 --> 0:14:14.200
<v Speaker 1>we were both in youth homes in southern California. We

0:14:14.200 --> 0:14:17.840
<v Speaker 1>were only eleven years old. Throughout the years, we traveled

0:14:17.840 --> 0:14:20.720
<v Speaker 1>together through the juvenile system until the penitentiary became our

0:14:20.760 --> 0:14:23.840
<v Speaker 1>final stop. When I asked him about the scars on

0:14:23.880 --> 0:14:27.320
<v Speaker 1>his face, he said they came from kicking ass and

0:14:27.400 --> 0:14:30.840
<v Speaker 1>in the process getting my ass kicked, which was rare.

0:14:32.040 --> 0:14:34.040
<v Speaker 1>John explained that his father had loved him enough to

0:14:34.040 --> 0:14:35.680
<v Speaker 1>teach him how to fight when he was only five

0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:39.280
<v Speaker 1>years old. He learned from the beatings he got in

0:14:39.320 --> 0:14:42.120
<v Speaker 1>a sense, he said, he grew up with a loving

0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:45.400
<v Speaker 1>fear of his father. He pointed to a nasty scar

0:14:45.480 --> 0:14:48.360
<v Speaker 1>on his upper shoulder, laughing, He told us that his

0:14:48.400 --> 0:14:50.280
<v Speaker 1>father had hit him with a steel rod when he

0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:53.880
<v Speaker 1>tried to protect his mother from being beaten. Most of

0:14:53.960 --> 0:14:55.960
<v Speaker 1>us had seen this scar, but it never had the

0:14:56.000 --> 0:14:59.080
<v Speaker 1>nerve to ask about it. As we stared at it,

0:14:59.200 --> 0:15:02.920
<v Speaker 1>John seemed ashamed, avoiding our eyes. He mumbled a few

0:15:02.920 --> 0:15:05.920
<v Speaker 1>words before showing us. As many other scars, he can

0:15:06.000 --> 0:15:09.960
<v Speaker 1>remember every detail surrounding the violent events that had produced them.

0:15:10.040 --> 0:15:14.120
<v Speaker 1>I realized that these experiences haunted him. Yet as he

0:15:14.160 --> 0:15:18.560
<v Speaker 1>went on talking, he became increasingly rational. He's been more

0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:21.560
<v Speaker 1>than half his life in one institutional setting or another,

0:15:21.840 --> 0:15:25.200
<v Speaker 1>and as a result, he projected a very cold and fearsome,

0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:29.880
<v Speaker 1>almost boastful smile. He wanted nothing of what he shared

0:15:29.920 --> 0:15:33.320
<v Speaker 1>with us to be interpreted even remotely as child abuse.

0:15:34.680 --> 0:15:37.040
<v Speaker 1>This was especially apparent when he showed us a gash

0:15:37.040 --> 0:15:39.840
<v Speaker 1>on his back that was partially hitten by a dragon tattoo.

0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:43.080
<v Speaker 1>It was a hideous scar, something I would have imagined

0:15:43.120 --> 0:15:46.080
<v Speaker 1>finding on a slave who had been whipped. John motioned

0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:49.640
<v Speaker 1>me closer and said, rub your finger down the dragon's spine.

0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:54.960
<v Speaker 1>I felt what seemed like thick, tight string that moved

0:15:55.000 --> 0:15:59.280
<v Speaker 1>like a worm beneath his skin. Damn, John, what did

0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:03.520
<v Speaker 1>the hell happened you? I asked. There was something in

0:16:03.560 --> 0:16:06.520
<v Speaker 1>the way I questioned him that made John laugh, and

0:16:06.600 --> 0:16:10.560
<v Speaker 1>the others joined in. He explained that when it was nine,

0:16:10.640 --> 0:16:13.720
<v Speaker 1>his father chased him with a cord. John ran under

0:16:13.720 --> 0:16:16.240
<v Speaker 1>a bed, grabbed the springs, and held on as his

0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:19.520
<v Speaker 1>father pulled him by the legs, striking his back repeatedly

0:16:19.560 --> 0:16:22.880
<v Speaker 1>with the cord until he fell unconscious. He woke up

0:16:22.960 --> 0:16:28.120
<v Speaker 1>later with a deep flesh wound. John, smiling coldly, joked

0:16:28.200 --> 0:16:30.680
<v Speaker 1>that that was the last time he ever ran from

0:16:30.720 --> 0:16:35.760
<v Speaker 1>his father. David and Pete recounted similar childhood experiences. Their

0:16:35.800 --> 0:16:37.880
<v Speaker 1>stories said much about how all of us had come

0:16:37.920 --> 0:16:40.040
<v Speaker 1>to being one of the worst prisons in the country.

0:16:40.880 --> 0:16:43.640
<v Speaker 1>Most prisoners who were abused as children were taken from

0:16:43.680 --> 0:16:46.680
<v Speaker 1>their natural parents at a very early age and placed

0:16:46.680 --> 0:16:50.160
<v Speaker 1>in foster homes, youth homes, or juvenile halls for protection,

0:16:50.640 --> 0:16:54.800
<v Speaker 1>where they acquired even more scars later in their lives.

0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:59.680
<v Speaker 1>Prisons provided the same kind of painful refuge it is

0:16:59.800 --> 0:17:02.320
<v Speaker 1>terror of trying to realize that a large percentage of

0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:07.680
<v Speaker 1>prisoners will eventually re enter society, father children, and perpetuate

0:17:07.960 --> 0:17:12.960
<v Speaker 1>what happened to them. Throughout my many years of institutionalization, I,

0:17:13.359 --> 0:17:17.280
<v Speaker 1>like so many of these men, unconsciously took refuge behind

0:17:17.400 --> 0:17:20.720
<v Speaker 1>prison walls. Not until I read a series of books

0:17:20.720 --> 0:17:23.240
<v Speaker 1>for adults who had been abused as children that I

0:17:23.320 --> 0:17:26.520
<v Speaker 1>become committed to the process of examining my own childhood.

0:17:27.200 --> 0:17:29.439
<v Speaker 1>I began to unravel the reasons I had always just

0:17:29.600 --> 0:17:32.240
<v Speaker 1>expected to go from one youth institution to the next.

0:17:32.640 --> 0:17:34.680
<v Speaker 1>I never really tried to stay out of these places,

0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:39.280
<v Speaker 1>and neither did my friends. That day, I spoke openly

0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:42.000
<v Speaker 1>to my friends about my physical and mental abuse as

0:17:42.000 --> 0:17:44.680
<v Speaker 1>a child. I told him that I had been neglected

0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:48.159
<v Speaker 1>and then abandoned by my parents heroin addicts. When I

0:17:48.200 --> 0:17:51.879
<v Speaker 1>was very young, I was beaten and whipped by my stepfather.

0:17:52.600 --> 0:17:54.840
<v Speaker 1>My mother left me and my sisters alone for days

0:17:54.880 --> 0:17:57.080
<v Speaker 1>with our newborn twin brother and sister. When I was

0:17:57.119 --> 0:18:00.400
<v Speaker 1>only four years old. The baby boy died a death,

0:18:01.040 --> 0:18:03.719
<v Speaker 1>and I always believed it was my fault since I

0:18:03.720 --> 0:18:06.880
<v Speaker 1>had been made responsible for him. I spoke to them

0:18:06.880 --> 0:18:08.560
<v Speaker 1>of the pain I had carried through more than a

0:18:08.600 --> 0:18:13.080
<v Speaker 1>dozen institutions, pain I could never face. And I explained

0:18:13.080 --> 0:18:15.600
<v Speaker 1>how all of these events ultimately trapped me in a

0:18:15.640 --> 0:18:19.840
<v Speaker 1>pattern of lashing out against everything. But these men could

0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:22.919
<v Speaker 1>not think of their own experiences as abuse. What I

0:18:22.920 --> 0:18:26.399
<v Speaker 1>had told them seemed to sadden them, Perhaps because I

0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:29.679
<v Speaker 1>had embraced a hidden truth that they could not. They

0:18:29.680 --> 0:18:33.520
<v Speaker 1>avoided making the connection between my experiences and theirs. It

0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:37.280
<v Speaker 1>was as if they felt I had suffered more than they.

0:18:37.920 --> 0:18:44.600
<v Speaker 1>That wasn't true. What they heard was their own unspoken words. Eventually,

0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:48.439
<v Speaker 1>we all fell silent around the weightlifting bench, staring across

0:18:48.480 --> 0:18:52.280
<v Speaker 1>the yard at the other men exercising. John and I

0:18:52.320 --> 0:18:57.800
<v Speaker 1>spoke again privately. Later. You know something, he said, The

0:18:57.880 --> 0:18:59.800
<v Speaker 1>day I got used to getting beaten by my father,

0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:02.520
<v Speaker 1>by the counsels in all those group homes was the

0:19:02.600 --> 0:19:05.920
<v Speaker 1>day I knew nothing whatever hurt me again. Everything I

0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:09.359
<v Speaker 1>thought could hurt me I saw as a game. I

0:19:09.400 --> 0:19:11.800
<v Speaker 1>had nothing to lose and just about everything to gain.

0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:16.600
<v Speaker 1>A prison cell will always be here for me. John

0:19:16.640 --> 0:19:20.200
<v Speaker 1>was speaking most for the men I had met in prison. Secretly,

0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:24.400
<v Speaker 1>we like it here, this place welcomes a man who

0:19:24.440 --> 0:19:28.400
<v Speaker 1>was full of rage and violence. He is not abnormal here,

0:19:28.640 --> 0:19:34.120
<v Speaker 1>not different. Prison life is an extension of his inner life. Finally,

0:19:34.520 --> 0:19:36.880
<v Speaker 1>I confided to John that I wished I had been

0:19:36.920 --> 0:19:40.760
<v Speaker 1>with my mother when she died. Hey, didn't you say

0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:45.840
<v Speaker 1>she neglected you? He asked. John was right, she had

0:19:45.960 --> 0:19:50.160
<v Speaker 1>neglected me. But am I neglected myself as well? By

0:19:50.160 --> 0:19:52.200
<v Speaker 1>denying that I wished I had been with her when

0:19:52.200 --> 0:20:00.840
<v Speaker 1>she died that I still love her. As Jarvis's legal

0:20:00.880 --> 0:20:04.280
<v Speaker 1>team at Kirkland Analysis preparing for the post conviction proceedings

0:20:04.280 --> 0:20:07.400
<v Speaker 1>to appeal his death sentence, we are planning season two

0:20:07.440 --> 0:20:10.480
<v Speaker 1>of Dear Governor, in which we will follow those proceedings and,

0:20:10.560 --> 0:20:14.439
<v Speaker 1>pending the reinstatement of phone privileges, Jervis is looking forward

0:20:14.440 --> 0:20:17.879
<v Speaker 1>to continue sharing his story along the way. Thanks to

0:20:17.920 --> 0:20:22.320
<v Speaker 1>Dion Graham for lending his passion and incomparable pipes. Special

0:20:22.320 --> 0:20:25.639
<v Speaker 1>thanks to Gavrilla Wells for providing audio of Jarvis and

0:20:25.720 --> 0:20:28.840
<v Speaker 1>for her steadfast devotion to human rights and social justice.

0:20:29.480 --> 0:20:33.679
<v Speaker 1>Today's episode was written and produced by Donna Fazzari and myself, Cornyicole.

0:20:34.040 --> 0:20:37.080
<v Speaker 1>Our theme song sentenced his compliments of the band Stick

0:20:37.160 --> 0:20:41.280
<v Speaker 1>Figure from their album set in Stone. Stu Sternbach has

0:20:41.320 --> 0:20:44.600
<v Speaker 1>composed the original music. Nate Defort did the sound design.

0:20:45.240 --> 0:20:47.560
<v Speaker 1>If you'd like to learn more about Jarvis and support

0:20:47.600 --> 0:20:51.880
<v Speaker 1>his cause, please visit free Jarvis dot org. For more

0:20:51.880 --> 0:20:55.480
<v Speaker 1>podcasts from I Heart Radio, visit the I Heart Radio app,

0:20:55.800 --> 0:21:01.680
<v Speaker 1>Apple Podcasts, or wherever you listen to your favorite shows

0:21:01.760 --> 0:21:02.520
<v Speaker 1>back at